Doug Loves Movies - Adam Ray, Jacob Sirof, Becky Robinson and Mo Mandel guest

Episode Date: January 7, 2019

Live from the Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Doug welcomes Adam Ray, Jacob Sirof, Becky Robinson and Mo Mandel to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey everybody. My is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you... Oh, shut up. Coming to you once again... Oh, I should always pace around like this. From Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon!

Yeah! It's Saturday, January 5th, and this is the first Douglas Movies taping in 2019. Yeah. And right now I'd like to see the first name tags of 2019. Always a spectacular view from the stage during the name tag presentation.

Remind me when we pick name tags today. Here, you can remind me to film it, like, you know, Periscope or some shit. I don't want to do it now because it'll slow down

this bullet train of a show. There's so many amazing ones, I can't even. But the Johnny Pit is a little like a dollhouse, but with Tom Hanks and Shelley Long sitting on top of it, like the Money Pit, but it's the Johnny Pit. Your name's Johnny? Yes. Okay, lady.

And then we got Katie Bird instead of Lady Bird. That's nice. I saw this one on the internet today. I John-ya. And I got to show the audience this shit because it's pretty funny looking. audience this shit because it's it's pretty funny looking and then going nuts with the candy on the bottom like my beautiful face on Tonya Harding's body I mean Margot Robbie's body what were you yelling at me about over here all right

you know it's in the middle of something over there He's like, Doug, what about this one? I just realized I might be able to do an impression of Kevin from The Office Doug, what about this one? Alright, so it's Silence of the Cams Because your name's Cameron And you got booze on yours So yeah, thanks for bringing

that to my attention. Now zip it. Great job everybody. Thank you for doing that. Always appreciate all the name tags. About 15 minutes after the show tonight I'll be standing around outside, you know,

weather permitting to sign any name tags if you want me to. Doug plugs next weekend my annual pilgrimage to the SF Sketch Fest, where I'll be doing Doug Loves Movies on Saturday at 4.20. And then, this is the big one,

we're finally finishing off the Fifty Shades Trilogy at the massive... Yeah, I wish we could finish it off. At the massive Castro Theater in San Francisco, a Benson movie interruption of Fifty Shades Freed. I doubt we'll figure out what that title means even if we sit through it.

And that's on Sunday, January 13th. It's coming up next weekend. Also at 4.20. For tickets, visit sf Also at 4.20. For tickets, visit sfsketchfest.com. On January 15, Doug Loves Movies is back at the UCB Theater in LA. I'll be in Tacoma, Washington on January 19th. Las Vegas on January 27th.

Many more. For all the dates and deets and links, oh my, go to douglovesmovies.com. That's douglovesmovies.com That's douglosmovies.com Yeah! Wow! See, that's where you cacaw. That's where you don't do it after

the theme song plays for an inevitable second time. Because that doesn't just happen here. This song is one of those ones that the opening theme has a hard start. It's just like, Doug hates, like it gets right into it. So they never have the sound exactly right, and they have to turn it up during Sticky Rappers or...

Baby Seats. On my food podcast, Dining with Doug and Karen, now known as Dining with D&K, because people have busy lives. podcast dining with Doug and Karen now known as dining with D&K because people have busy lives in the opening theme song the guy less the singer says a bunch of different types of food and at one point he says bok choy and we finally ate some bok choy on an episode so check that out if you guys get a chance let's go into the prize bag.

It's a big, beautiful bag from my friend at Weed Maps. And yeah, they deliver. Boy, do they. I got a sippy cup from I forget which Broadway show that I saw. They give you those so you don't spill in their gorgeous theater. A Douglas Movies t-shirt is in the prize bag. Oh, this is really neat. I was somewhere recently...

Oh, Austin, Texas on New Year's Eve in the great Cab City Comedy Club gave me a box of these macaroon thingies. Yeah. And so they've been unwrapped for a few days and some are missing but I was just like if I eat all of those

I will die they will macaroon ruin my life I was in the aforementioned Austin for New Year's Eve so you get a copy of Austin Magazine. Yeah, I gotta say, you guys, Portland and Austin should have an exchange program because you're both really cool cities.

And, like, my two favorites, don't tell anybody. And then our friends, my friends at Raw, rolling papers and whatnot, gave me to give away this beautiful Raw tray, just like the one on Getting Doug with High. And then a bunch of various rolling devices. Not devices, but you know what I mean. If there were rolling devices, then I'd be able to do it.

All of that is going to be won by somebody in the audience tonight, plus stuff brought by all of my guests. I've got four guests, because there's always a lot of great people around in Portland. And then one guy who was like, can I come to Portland? I was like, all right. And you'll see why after they're introduced. and you'll see why after they're introduced. Please give it up for Adam Ray, Becky Robinson,

Mo Mandel, and Jacob really wanted to come to Portland. Why do you got to be... I didn't say which one, but, yeah, it would become clear soon, and let's meet them all individually after I quickly give Jacob the Pete Holmes Award. All right. Nice.

Let's start with our first timer. I think it's her first time. I'm pretty sure it's Becky Robinson, everybody. Good to be home. Whoa. Pandering. Born and raised in Tigard, Oregon. How are you?

No! Oh, no. I didn't know this was going to happen. It was an accident. You could have done the show in L.A. But we did do a show in L.A. called Getting Doug with High. We had a lot of fun there. We did.

It was the highest they've ever been. And you were performing here at the Helium all weekend long. Yeah. Tonight. Sure am.

Tonight. Oh, that's it. Tonight, right? Tonight. Tonight. Just tonight. We're opening up for this big guy here.

Yeah. Very funny. So we'll introduce him in a second. Very stoned. He's a veteran and he needs to shut it. They love you, Adam. They're on your side.

So I might as well say it. Adam Ray, everybody. Yay! Is that what happens? Your hands are like magnetized to other guys in hats? Oh, man. Yeah. Well, no, the first guy wasn't.

You got to high five every hat guy. Yeah. It comes with the territory. You know what you're doing when you buy this thing. What does your hat say? What? Oh, nice. From the office.

You're doing hat crowd work? I didn't say hack. I said hat. From the office. You're doing hat crowd work? I didn't say hack. I said hack. Hacky hat work. But Adam, what's your deal? You're here headlining this. Here all weekend. Very room for the weekend.

Yep. We got to, Adam and I, I don't know if you guys saw it, we did AM Northwest on Friday. Oh, nice. That's more woos than I thought there would be for that show. I'm telling you, I'm always shocked. Also, they all watched it because they knew we were going to be on probably. It might not be their daily routine.

But it's so much fun to be on there. Especially because they do things like, I was like, I want to see some dogs. And they were like, got in touch with Humane Society here in town and they brought three puppies in. And we just got to play with Humane Society here in town, and they brought three puppies in. And we just got to play with these puppies. And Adam got so close to trying to adopt one.

Oh, dude, I was so close. It was, the dog was shaking for like five minutes, and I was like, all right, I guess I'm a cat guy. And then all of a sudden it just got comfy and rested its cute little face on the upper part of my chest. And that's where all my warmth is right there. And I almost did it. And then didn't. And then here's how fucked up that station and show is. I go back for the afternoon segment.

And they're like, we heard you almost adopted a puppy. I was like, yeah, it didn't work out for a lot of reasons. It's actually really sad. I really thought I was going to maybe go home with it and make a new friend. And then she goes, yeah, let's show some of that footage earlier today of you with the dog. And they fucking played a montage in slow-mo of me with my almost new friend. I was like, do you have footage of my parents' divorce after this? I fucking hate this show.

I love the speed of it though. I love just a recently sad moment. Get to relive it so soon. Not even a full day had passed. And then the puppy just got more rejection because you spent time with it

and they were like, nah, I'm good. The one that I was you can see pictures of this on our Instagrams, but the one I was holding the most, that one, you know, got immediately, y'all got immediately adopted that day. But that one, the new owners, it was called Grace when I had it, but then the new owners called it Sylvia. So, no, no, no, I take that back. Sylvia was his dog Sylvia was mine yeah No they named it Minerva

Minerva Yeah Which I don't What is that I mean it's a villain In the Little Mermaid I guess But

Seems like a weird thing To name your dog after Sounds annoying Like it gets on Minervas That's That's not what they meant at all Hashtag year off of Searoff fuck you man

not you Doug I love you love you too he's probably confused about all that's been happening so far and will remain confused for the rest of the show but give it up everybody for Mo Mandel. Yeah baby.

Thank you. Yeah. I should say you did some homework. You listened to a little bit of the show. Yeah I'm a fan of the show. Okay cool.

Yeah I like anything where Jacob Sieroff gets made fun of. So I'm a big fan. I heard about this beef. Should I sit between you two? No, no, we're old friends. We started comedy together.

I'm here representing Jews who don't look like they just got out of Auschwitz. I'm here representing Jews that actually get laid. Only in cities like Portland. Well, guess where we are, motherfucker? Portland. I love Portland. Well, guess where we are, motherfucker? Portland. I love Portland. Portland's like if everyone who got picked on in high school got together to form their own town.

Nice. Count it. If you... And that's why you're the king here. I would be. Any other city in America you try to get laid That doesn't beat the shit out of you immediately Wait what?

Make fun of your Freddie Mercury legs That's a compliment It's a big compliment Yeah you don't want to get Freddie Mercury mouth That one's not High on my list of compliments. Too soon.

That movie just came out, Doug. Yeah. Yeah, that Romy Malick, every night he probably just went home and put his chin on ice from having to jut out the bottom half of his face all the time. Yeah. He did a good job.

Oh, shit. Did it... Can we spoil that movie, though? What do you mean? Well, that... I'll spoil it. They never play Flash Gordon theme song once. Fuck that movie.

I'm out. I'm out. That movie had the worst first date in movie history. At the end, he goes to the guy, becomes his lover, and then he immediately takes him to his parents' house where he comes out of the closet. And then at the end of the night, presumably he says, oh, I also have AIDS, by the way.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Great first date. He got AIDS at the end of that movie In case I don't want to spoil it But that's why the band broke up Well he got AIDS and then the movie ended Right but I like He didn't get AIDS and then just went to black

Oh boy I've got what? End credits Just the words to be continued For the record I do not have AIDS Just the legs I have AIDS, just the legs. I have AIDS legs, but not AIDS.

Okay, fellas. I think Becky's right. We might have to split you up. I told Becky backstage Moe was going to do this. You know, I was talking to Moe last night that I was afraid he was going to become a Jew-off. Nobody wins. See who can reference it. Nobody wins in a chew off Now I can't stop staring

At your perfect fucking skinny legs Perfect Be jealous ladies Just see me in heels I have It's like Marwen But good Yeah welcome

Except people want to see it more Yeah Yeah that movie is Hella weird Great talking Henry though But anyway Let's go ahead What?

How did You saw Welcome to Marwen? I did Does it end with One of the dolls getting AIDS? No It's much sweeter Much cuter film

About all the dolls potentially getting raped it's for the family Wow it's for the whole family Wow I mean Nazis are bad let's face it we've covered so much already I just say that when you guys are around. Yeah. That sounds like something that an anti-Semite says to just sort of break the ice. Like if you walk into a room full of Jews, man, you know who I don't like? The Nazis.

Boy. I could go for a bagel right now. What about you guys? I've got Manischewitz all over my shirt. Oh, man. It's like the white guy to the black dude in Get Out. I would have aborted for Obama for another term if it were possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're like, you know what's my favorite amount of nights? Eight. Can we get Mo's mic turned down just a little bit? This is a real Shonda. All right. Nobody knows what that is What's crazy is Adam Ray is Jewish But nobody would know that because he's like a sexy Italian

Pretending to be a Jew for showbiz or something Jacob do you want to get an introduction Sir Alright Jacob Seroff is here Yeah We covered it We don't have to waste time on talking to me or anything Yeah I like it.

Woo! I should have put it out there on the internet, something like, I'm not going to tell you who the guests are, but I will say this, no refunds. All right. So that's the whole crew. What a great lineup.

Let's find out what you guys brought for the prize bag. We'll start here with you, Jacob. What do you have for us? Well, I flew Spirit because I'm the guy that asked to come because I really wanted to come to Portland. I have friends here, Doug. Yeah. And so nothing. I scavenged all this from my friend's house,

where I'm staying at. Oh, really? Yeah, you have to have a backpack because you've got to pay for a carry-on friend's house who I'm staying at. Oh, really? Yeah, you have to have a backpack because you get paid for a carry-on on Spirit. So I came for the whole weekend in a backpack. Like a veil,

that's a Jew joke, like if you look hard enough. So I asked my friend Michael Wright, who I'm staying with, can you give me a hand with some of these Christmas bags

that they had sitting around? Right, so I was like, can you give me a hand? So he gave me this hand, which is, I think it's a mold of his hand. I wouldn't be surprised I was like, can you give me a hand? So he gave me this hand, which is, I think it's a mold of his hand. I wouldn't be surprised if you said, could you give me a fist? Well, I'm hoping that's how it'll get used by whoever wins.

Because he's a good friend, and it's a good situation, I can tell you. And the other thing I got from him, which is amazing, he just had this lying around because it kind of fits in with my thing, is it's a Twin Peaks shirt. Very cool. Bang, bang, bang bar. It's even my size, a men's medium, so it was really hard not to. Oh, okay. It's pretty saucy.

Yeah, it's a cool Twin Peaks shirt. Very saucy. When you say it was hard for you to keep it, or not keep it, you had an option of stealing it from your friend for yourself or for us. And you did the right thing. I did the right thing, I feel like, for a change.

I'm trying to, it's 2019. I'm trying to open a new leaf and then I threw in some alcohol just because, why not? They had some.

Everybody likes alcohol, right? And then the bag, you had to keep the bag, of course. It's a beautiful bag, yeah. It is a great bag. All right. Thank you, Jacob.

I thought that give me a hand joke would go over, like we rehearsed that in the car and it went over a lot better with just me and him, I have to say.

Well, you should have pulled the fist out of your asshole. I think that would have been... That hand joke, did you think we were taping an episode of Laugh-In? Like you just said, it's 2019. It's more of a love American style. Even Carrot Top would nail something else to that hand and give the joke a little bit of complexity.

Like a construction hat, say it's a hand job. All right. Oh! Whoa. Where would I get a construction hat? That's a good joke, but where would I get it? It'd be great if Doug peeled back his face and he was Carrot Top.

Just working out some bits. Then I'd bring out those guns! I don't really... Jokes aren't my specialty, Doug, okay? Okay, yeah. Hey, it wasn't hilarious, but you did help people understand the financial benefits of Spirit Airlines,

and I think that... 94 bucks. Sometimes it's better than comedy. What do you got for us, Mo? Well, you know, it's a rough time, and so sometimes we just need to, like, learn to relax a little bit. So what's more relaxing than a calendar of sloths doing yoga?

Oh, wow. That's a great gift, actually. That's the most Portland thing I've ever seen. There's another calendar to make the full Portland set of sloths drinking slow-blended juices. to make the full Portland set of sloths drinking slow-blended juices. And then my girlfriend's a urologist,

and we do a sex... Okay, okay. Yeah, she lives in Canada. We do a sex podcast together called The Full Release. Oh, God. Oh, boy. And what's also more relaxing

than... Oh, God. Oh, no. What is this? Oh, God, no. A giant... Oh, God. A giant dick. That is this? Oh, God, no. A giant... Oh, God. A giant dick.

That's not... You know what that is? That is not a white dick. You know what that... This is... And this is the opposite of the Star Wars toys Jacob plays with.

This is more valuable out of the box. It's a lot like the lightsabers I play with. They serve the same function. But do you know what that's called? Is that the kind

that four out of five urolog's called? Is that the kind that four out of five urologists recommend? This is the kind that my girlfriend recommends four out of five of. They call that the Tom Selleck. Seriously, do you know what? I dated a girl

who worked for Hustler and I know that this is actually, because it has balls, it's called a dong. That's the difference between a dildo and a dong. Yeah, I didn't know you called any of those things dong.

I thought a dong was an actual dick. I thought you called that a dong. That's the difference between a dildo and a dong. Yeah, I didn't know you called any of those things dong. I thought a dong was an actual dick. I thought you called that a stool. It's the funniest joke Mo's ever written. Somebody hand him a pen. Yeah, throw it in there. It's only been used once. Yo, what came first? The sloth calendar or the cock? What came first was me when I used that cock.

But when you got the cock, did you go, how do I lighten up this gift bag a little bit? A calendar of some sloths. No, I got the sloth thing in one of those white elephant Christmas things, and then I got the cock from my girlfriend's drawer. And I wanted it out of the house anyway. I was jealous of it, and so this was the best way to do it

that seemed like it was for comedy and not just my wounded ego. Yeah. Success. Yeah. And that's the story of Hanukkah. That dick is way too big to be that color, by the way. I know, it's a black dick.

That's at Rabbi's last night. He tells that story and just walks off the stage. That is one giant pink baby dick. Can anyone on stage win the gift bag? No. You want that thing? Well, I wouldn't hate to have it in my drawer. Any guest on this stage can take,

like white elephant style or some shit, can take anything from the prize bag. That gift literally is a white elephant. Wow. And boy, does a bitch love an elephant. It's on parade. How dare you make the best joke about my gift. Well, you weren't going to do it, Mo.

God damn it. Sorry, I'm on Team Jacob. It's just me. Just so you know, you're the only one. But I'm happy to have you. I should have said Secret Santa. I like Jacob, too. He's going to be real funny for the next three years that he's alive.

You know, I... Hey, I like cocaine. Nudge. People like to smoke with me after the shows, but nobody's out there helping you get your cocaine on. Not nearly enough. What, you're not still doing that show, Doing Rails with Doug? Oh, my God, that's my show.

Yeah. I would like to be a guest on that show. doing Jacob with giant rails. Spit off. I believe Becky was speaking. Thank you so much, Doug. Guys,

this is my first time on the show and I brought, well, here, all right, came in from out of town. And this gift really comes from the heart.

It's not such, no offense, fuckboy shit. This is a gift package. None taken. It's a gift package that can help, because since I've been in Portland, I met a lot of young comics. So I brought a Red Bull, so you can get rock hard fired up first. Yeah, the least fuckboy drink on the planet. All right. All right.

A sack of handpicked assorted size condoms. So no matter how big your dick is feeling that night, we've got the size for you. Doug, can the guests win the prize back? This is my own personal stash from my nightstand at home that I never use. This is for the gal who likes to fuck men of all ages.

How many sizes you got in there? One of them's honey flavored. Anyways, look, from a gal who's had chlamydia, you'll have some fun. Now of them's honey flavored. Anyways. Oh, God. Look, from a gal who's had chlamydia, you'll have some fun. Now, it's curable. And the last thing I got. That's the real story of Hanukkah.

And the last thing I got was a beautiful yellow, yellow notepad. Oh, that's nice. If there's any legal eagles out there. Green room. There's tequila spilled on this

from Norm MacDonald. There is. There's. Oh. I jizzed a. Green Room. There's tequila spilled on this from Norm MacDonald. There is. Oh. I jizzed a little on it. There's a lot of... Anyways, it's here. That's my gift package. Thank you.

You could, if you get the dildo, you could put one of the condoms on the dildo since it's been lightly used. Yeah, I like that. That's a good idea. Adam. All right. Well, look. If you pull out that puppy That's a good idea. Adam. All right.

Well, look. If you pull out that puppy right now, I'm going to be so excited. Oh, yeah. Do it. Do it. Do it. They already put that puppy down, I heard. Pull out Sylvia.

Fuck you, Jew. Hey, you had your Pull out Sylvia. Fuck you, Jew! Hey, you had your chance to save him! I did. I did. Just gonna make a quick note. I'm gonna label this episode aggressive.

Well, look, nothing, you know, before I passed on adopting Sylvia, she did whisper into my mouth, I said I said, alright, you guys are going to make that weird. That was a normal sentence, but she I go, look, I'm doing

Doug's show tomorrow, what sort of prizes should I bring along? You know, because she definitely looked at me with those sad eyes of like, why aren't you taking me home? I was like, what prizes should I get? And she goes, family size Swedish fish. People love that. People love that.

Good call, Sylvia. It says it's the official candy of Shark Week. I don't know if that means anything to you. If it does, you know, that's... Wow. We also got... Look, it's every time of year people want to shoot some plastic popcorn balls at somebody.

And so now you get to do it any time of the day in your own home. It's the popcorn popper. Okay, well, the lady at CVS told me it would get a much larger applause when I held it up. So you're hurting Pam at CBS by not clapping. It does say a choking hazard. Same for the dildo, ironically. Yeah, I think they put this label on the wrong box.

I meant dong, dong, sorry. I can't ballpark it. How many more things? Just two. Just a shirt and a hat. My merch. Oh, lovely. There's a picture of me as a fat kid

holding Kendall Gill's hand. Kendall Gill, the former NBA star of the Seattle Supersonics. We look like we're going to prom. Becky, can you help me hold that up? Look, I was a fat kid. I'd never met a celebrity before. And

hold that up for me. And my mom goes, you want a picture with Kendall Gill? And he put his hand out like this, and I put my hand out like that, and he goes, huh? And I go, I don't know. And he grabbed my fingers like we just got, you know,

like we're going to fucking prom. You look like my friend Jessica. What's that? You look like just my friend Jessica. That's you? Yeah. And that's Kendall Hill. Let's have a moment of silence for Jessica.

No shit. She should never go outside if that's what she looks like. Or at least just tell people you are sponsored by Pop-Tarts. Just get your lips done in that. No right swipes, Jessica, as they call her. All right, pass all that stuff down here. Great job, everybody. That was really fun.

Thanks, Molly. Fun bunch of stuff. Hope you're not taking the bus home, whoever wins. Oh, here we go. Just throw that in there. Because they might not let you on. Oh, shit. The popcorn popper.

Oh, look at... Jacob, why are you letting this woman pick all this stuff up? Because it's really hot. Why don't you do it? Oh. I knew there had to be a reason. But thank you very much for that, for doing that. It's very nice.

All right, you guys. What time is it? That took forever. I blame Mo. You couldn't each just say I brought some crap and just throw it on the floor? Holy shit, we are way behind. All right. But I got to do a...

I love doing this show here in Portland and at Helium. It is always a gas. And so what I'd like to do today with you guys is play a new game that's not for any points or getting to go first in the next game. It's just like a fun warm-up game. And I think Adam Ray in particular knows

what I'm talking about. Fuck yes. I want to play a new game that we played on about last night. Adam's podcast with Brad Williams. And the game is called First Impressions. First Impressions.

Yeah, there's no reason to clap. You don't even know what it is yet. Yeah. Yeah. And even so, in future episodes, people will choose to clap or not based on what town I'm in. And how much they listen and what have you.

Yeah, that's pretty great. But basically the idea is we're going to each name a celebrity or famous person that has, you know, it has to be somebody that has kind of a distinct voice, but it'll be a challenge if it's not. Think of one that you would like all of us to try to do. And the impression just has to be a sound or one word. It has to be very short, but you can

also set the impression up. You know, like, this is what so-and-so said when this happened. You can do a little fun setup before you do it. Can I give them a little example? Like what we did from the podcast? Sure. One lady in the audience is dying to know. So I think one of them down there was like,

this is Nicolas Cage stubbing his toe on the dishwasher. Ouch. Okay, this is Nicolas Cage. This is Nicolas Cage. This is Nicholas Cage. It gets better. This is Nicholas Cage approaching a doorway that's got beads hanging in it, like a beaded doorway. This is him about to enter a room with beads in the doorway. Knock, knock.

to enter a room with beads in the doorway. Knock, knock. I cheated. It was two words, but it was still pretty short. Yeah, that was great. That was worth the wait. I had those for a while, like Greg Brady style, like the beads instead of a door.

They were cool. Yeah. I had the beads with the door in high school. I'd open the door and then have to go through the beads. The door opens into the beads. That sounds terrible in a fire. Okay, so all five of us are going to say a name and I'll go three, two, one,

then say the name so that we all just kind of blurt one out and then we'll try to go through and sort it out and I'll try to do some of those. You know, we don't have a ton of time for this, but I think it's totally worth it. Doug, do we do our own? That's what I'm saying is you could

name, it's not cheating to name one that you think you already can be good at, but, you know, go for it if you want. I mean, you're just finding out about this now, so it's not like you have too much time to prepare. I mean, Adam's been doing one-word impressions in the mirror for weeks.

This just feels like improv, and I've spent my whole career avoiding that, so I'm having, like, a panic attack. Well, I can't believe anything you've said so far tonight was planned. That's improvisation. That's planned. That's improvisation. That's different. That's long form.

Yeah, this is yes and bullshit. And I can't. I don't know what to do. So we're supposed to say the name of a celebrity that we think we can all do. You don't have to assume we can all do it. You could throw a curveball at us, but it'll be a dick move. Oh, hell yeah. You could throw a curveball at us, but it'll be a dick move.

Oh, hell yeah. It should be more like we'll all just volunteer to do the ones we think we can do. I don't want to put anybody on the spot. All right, here we go. Three, two, one. Lucille. Al Pacino. All right, so this is Al Pacino.

No, it's just now you're on the record because somebody heard you say it. Yeah. What'd you say? I said Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson. What'd you say, Becky? Jennifer Coolidge. Ooh, I like that.

Yeah, we're fucked, guys. Mo, what'd you say? Shaquille O'Neal for something. I have no idea why. Wow. That was the weirdest kind of litmus test ever. Racist. All right. This is Shaquille O'Neal The first time He sank a free throw

Shazam Yeah Wasn't he Kazam? Alright what did you say? Oh you said Shaquille And you said Al Pacino I love Al Pacino That's a really fun one

And I said Lucille Ball So does anybody want to take a crack at it? Yeah I'll do Al Pacino flying a kite in the park After he saw Mary Poppins, he was just like, you know Hey, you remember how the refrigerator was unnecessary in the last description? Stubs his toe was enough You're right Here's Al Pacino flying a kite

Flying a kite Inspired by having seen Mary Poppins returns Hold on, I'm going to speak for the more set-ups part of the crowd. You know when there's always someone at a comedy club like, longer set-up! Don't get to it! Cut the punchline! Just more details, please!

It's like a documentary over here. All right, so here's Al Pacino flying a kite, but then the kite gets away. Okay. Yeah. This is Al Pacino losing a kite. Yeah, I guess I could have said that. Touche.

All right. Take a look. Fuck! That was good. That was good. Pretty good. The mouth. Yeah.

I smoked weed with Doug half an hour ago. From heat. Oh, man. Adam said it was good, though. A lot of words. It's man. Adam said it was good, though. A lot of words. It's good. You got the accent down, though. Good Pacino, actually.

Okay, this is Al Pacino's doorbell. Hoo-ah! Nice. That was good. Yeah. Can we do Shaquille O'Neal, too, or do we have to pick one? Yeah, do whatever one you want. Does Shaquille O'Neal get a pedicure massage for the first time?

As an additive, when they say you can add a massage for $5. Sorry, I know it's not what you bargained for. Oh my God. Watch his hair for $5. I regret opening my mouth. Is Shaquille O'Neal here? I thought I heard Shaquille O'Neal just now. His feet are so big.

You get it? Okay, see you later. I mean, I haven't heard Shaq's rap album, but that seemed pretty close. Oh, God. All right. Okay, you got one. I'm going to try to do Owen Wilson losing his erection during intercourse.

Okay. Oh, man. That is also the impression of myself doing the same thing. Wait, but then getting discouraged, but then finding that he had that plastic cock in a bag in his trunk of his car. Hell yeah. And then Shaq's doing it going...

And then Owen Wilson finding his erection again. Oh, oh, oh, wow. Moe, do your Shaq again. That's Bobcat Goldthwait. Well, they look a lot alike. Wait, here's Shaq accidentally going into the women's room instead of the men's room. Oops. Hey, hold on.

You know what's the similarity between Bobcat Goldthwait and Shaquille O'Neal? They were both big in the 80s. Because he grew early. There's more? He was big at 15. All right. You know what, guys? Here's my impressive Owen Wilson reaction to that joke.

Wow. Terrible impression. Here's my two impressions. I hate this game. All right, this is... This one's two words. I'm going to go double. Yeah.

I'm going for it. Or maybe it's one word. Maybe it's hyphenated. This is... This is Shaquille O'Neal watching the ice capades Icy hot Nice A lot of product placement

This is Shaquille O'Neal coming out of the closet If his name was Ben Ben Gay Nice Alright let's tally up the points Ben gay Nice Alright let's tally up the points What about Lucille Ball You gotta do Lucille Ball Oh yeah I'm sorry

It was my idea and I didn't do it Here we go this is Lucille Lucille Lubal This is If somebody asks her what she wants to drink Scotch! I just thought it would be funny to do a deep voice. Can I do one more?

Yeah. Here's Al Pacino at Subway, but he was paying extra to get the chips, and then he realized he didn't have any cash, so a stranger helped him out and bought the chips for him. Here we go. Fucking Greg Proops over here. Who are you, man? Just a Jew in a hat, man.

Here we go. Wait a second. What was the setup again? He was getting barbecued flavored sun chips at a Subway in Reseda. Not the Subway near the 101. You got it. The one near near the 101. You got it. The one near the 404.

You were listening. But he didn't have enough money for it. Oh, okay, okay. Somebody helped him out. Yeah, somebody behind him was like, I got those chips for you, Al. And then he goes, Thank you.

Setup was great Oh like you didn't think It was gonna be that good I get it I get it now The setup's the joke I get it Yeah the longer the setup The lack of a payoff

I was playing wrong I was playing wrong I'm gonna kill it this next time Alright well That was I think that was it Thank you, Portland, for letting us.

I don't really know how to make that into like a, you know, a game proper, like where points are distributed and stuff, but it sure is just fun to do.

It's a lot of fun. Yeah. I'm glad we did that. I thought it was fun how Bert got to listen to that part. Yeah, right? Yeah.

We tricked Bert into listening. He turns it off when the games start. So I might as well say it. Turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! You guys, don't flip out when you see these name tags, but it is quite a sight. Each of you has to select one person to play for in the audience,

and there's plenty of options, but Jacob is just diving in for one already. Can you look around a little bit and also not talk while I'm setting this up? But yeah, everybody go grab a name tag, bring it back to your seat and while you do that we'll do this we'll be right back hey there's no sponsors this app so i just like to take a moment to talk a little bit about some of the upcoming shows that you can see me in in person like san francisco the benson movie interruption on January 13th. That's this Sunday at 420. We're going to watch the final chapter of the terrible trilogy called Fifty Shades Freed at the gigantic Castro Theater in San Francisco. It's so much fun. Go to sfsketchfest.com for tickets. February 16th,

Doug Loves Movies is a good night's in Raleigh, North Carolina. February 28th, I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in Tampa, Florida before I set sail on the 311 cruise. Let's get back to the show, 311 cruise. Let's get back to the show, but don't forget douglosmovies.com. All right, we're back. Great job, everybody. It was a very nice

name tag selecting session, but Jacob, of course, went back and forth because someone had money on their name tag, and you took that just on instinct? It was genetic.

Yeah, there was a guy in the front row with a really crappy name tag, but he had a $20 bill and a joint, and I was like, I took it, then I felt guilty, also genetic, and I decided the best thing to do was to take somebody who really put in effort, and I took the joint and I gave him back the 20.

But I feel like that's fair. For wasting my time, I took the joint. Yeah, you would have smoked the joint with him outside afterwards anyway. I'm going to take somebody who really put in effort, and I took the joint and I gave him back the 20. But I feel like that's fair. For wasting my time, I took the joint. Yeah, you would have smoked the joint with him outside afterwards anyway. I'm going to take this back to LA. So that's fair. But I'm glad you gave him the 20 back. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it was tempting.

But, you know, I got to, like, okay. So the one I decided to play was Katie Bird. It was a lady bird. And it looks like she did an original kind of mixed media thing. Is that you? That's a picture of you? Yeah. She did a great job.

It's a really great job. Coincidentally, there's weed on that one as well. And there's a joint on this as well. So it worked out for you? Yeah. She did a great job. It's a really great job. Coincidentally, there's weed on that one as well. And there's a joint on this as well. So it worked out for everybody. Yeah. Good job. Great job. And I love the movie Lady Bird.

So just awesome. How did you... Yeah, Lady Bird's great. How did you end up with your name tag of Moe and who's on there? Well, it's Steph Brothers. Now, it's a picture of you as the John C. Reilly character next to Will Ferrell and Steph Brothers. a John C. Reilly character next to Will Farrell in Step Brothers.

And mine was on a complicated system of I like Sour Patch Kids and that was on this so I chose this one. And also I like Reese's Peanut Butter thing so I got that too. Yeah, it's got a lot of good candy on there. Good job, Steph.

There you go. So, Steph Brothers. Brought to you by Steph Brothers. Yeah. Becky, what do you got going on there? What a sad clap. Fuck. Well, I picked this because I love, I can't imagine, I was just honestly pleased to see you in a leotard. Doug?

Yeah, I'm pulling it off there. In that instance. And as a teen ice skater myself Oh yeah The humblest of all brags I mean, look at the snacks dangling off this, Mo Do you see this? You got Reese's peanut butter We got Snickers, we got Twix, we got Milky Way

This is a beautiful, well-done movie poster with ample snacks that hang down like dangling ball sacks. And that's why I chose it. And these people look amazing. I'm fired up. Cool. All right. And Adam, after much deliberation,

chose a guy sitting right in front of him. And Adam, after much deliberation, chose a guy sitting right in front of him. Here's my impression of Shaquille O'Neal. It's a good one, though. I like it. It's a nice one. This is a good one. It's a classic, too. We got Pat on the hot tin roof.

Looking like a sexy... Yeah, and he put his Pat face right there over Elizabeth Burton in her... Elizabeth Burton? Elizabeth Burton. Elizabeth Taylor. Elizabeth Berkeley from Stay by the Bell? In her sexy nightie. But when you combine the two of them,

they actually look like Pat from Saturday Night Live a little bit. It's actually like the hair and the glasses. It's like Pat. A little bit, yeah. Yeah. But what really sealed the deal for me on this one is that this gentleman has a Kendall Gill fan club card that apparently you said you've

had since when? Like 25 years? I mean, and that's the right response, you know? You can redeem that for a handjob on the back of a truck outside of a carnival.

But I do love this movie, so a double win. Great job. All right. What if I just started crying right there? Sylvia. Sylvia, I love this movie. But we wanted me to have it.

The first game we're going to play today, we got some new players involved, so I always like to trot this one out because games don't get any simpler. It's Live, Die, Repeat. I'm going to say slowly the title of an actual motion picture. The first one of you to repeat back the full and correct title wins. One more time.

Huh? I'm going to say a movie title. First, you can guess as often as you like. The first person on the stage who says the full title correctly is the winner. Great. Let's go. Here we go. It's just people on stage.

Because you guys are all going to know it right away. Silent. Silent Night, Deadly Night. Silent Bob and Jay Strike Back. That's a good one. Good guess. That's not how that goes, right? No.

Silent Night. Oh, they finally made their version of Freaky Friday. Fuck. I'm the only one up here who's not even high. I finally made their version of Freaky Friday. Fuck. I'm the only one up here who's not even high. Wait, did somebody say silent of the lamps? Yeah. It was an attempt, but I ignored it.

Continuing on. Silent night. Silent night. Silent night. Holy night. Deadly night. Silent night. Deadly. Sins.

Silent night. Silent night. Deadly night two. Silent night. Deadly night. Silent night. Deadly. Sins. Silent night. Silent night. Deadly night two. Silent night. Deadly night. Three. Oh. Colon.

Powell. The curse of the. Colon did you say? Silent night. Deadly night. Three. Better. Off. Night 3. Better... Off.

Get going. Better be nice. Better off. Better get going. Better... Full title. Silent Night, Deadly Night 3.

Better be good. Shut up. Silent Night, Deadly Night 3. Better be good. Better be... Better like than never. Well, yes and no Better try again, Missy

Silent night, deadly night What do you mean don't do it yet? Silent night, deadly night, three Better not cry Deadly night, deadly night, three, better not cry Better not come Silent night, deadly night, three Better not watch Better watch out Deadly Night 3 Better Not Cry? Better Not Come. Deadly Night 3 Better Not Better Watch Out.

Better Not Make a Pity. Better Not Die. Jacob won because he said the whole title. Oh, fuck. Silent Night, Deadly Night. I think he did. To my naked ear, it sounded like... I got it.

Yeah, you did it. Adam did it,, I got it. Yeah, you didn't. It really... Adam did it, but I didn't. No, you got it. Yeah, that was a tricky one. Better watch out. Silent Night Deadly Night 2 was just part two. They didn't even bother to come up with one of those

after the colon numbers. This one has even more silence. Because the theater's empty. Okay, so Jacob gets to go first in this next game. You guys don't know Moe, but that's a classic Moe bomb right there. That is exactly like a solid joke. Look, some jokes are meant for that response. That was one of them.

I'm like a sniper. That's what I was going for. Sorry. A lot of comics are observational. Jacob's pointing every shit out. Every fucking thing he sees, he has to talk about it. Isn't that observational?

Yeah, they are observational. You're right. Okay. This game, Jacob, I think you've played it before. It's called How Long Is It? I'm going to name a thing. You guys have to guess how long it is. And it's in one of these bags.

14 and a half. All right. So it's like Price is Right style, closest to the number without going over, and Jacob gets to go first. And give me a second. Don't just blurt out your answers because I've got to write this shit down

and make it all official. How long is the song and dance number about hot chocolate in the horrifying children's classic, The Polar Express. That shouldn't be scary. Starring Tom Hanks, who prior to that had poo-pooed the musical format as being silly,

and then I had to watch that scene, whereas the train conductor, he gets everybody singing and dancing about hot chocolate. I wouldn't even call it singing. They just keep going, hot chocolate! A minute. Da-da-da.

Hot chocolate! There's all these kids on a train that are being stolen. Anyway, it's a horrifying movie. What were they singing about hot chocolate for? They were drinking hot chocolate. Because they were all going to get some, but that's just to keep them happy

because they were on a terror train. The train is in mortal danger many times on the trip and nobody seems to be like, hey, maybe we shouldn't take all these children to the fucking North Pole. Maybe the Polar Express

should, you know, mend the bridge first. Shit like that. Work on their infrastructure. Yeah, be like dominoes, you know. We're not going to the North Pole until after this government shutdown is over.

Because the government makes the best hot chocolate. Jacob. This will surprise no one, much less you, but I kind of like that number. I thought that was one of the funnier, it was a bad movie, and it was one of the more fun parts, I thought. That's interesting. What was the delightful part The fun It was a bad movie And it was one of the more fun parts I thought That's interesting

What was the delightful part That lasted how long? I'm gonna say it lasted Two minutes and 58 seconds Okay Let me write that down Mo? I haven't seen that movie

I have drank hot chocolate though So I feel like That puts me in a unique position To know the answer to this question They just bring out a bunch of hot chocolate And sing a dance about it And pour it in wildly dangerous ways Were there marshmallows in the chocolate?

Around a bunch of children In their nightgowns I'm gonna go with three minutes. Just because I've watched Price is Right. So that's the old fuck Jacob move. Yeah, the old fuck Jacob. He's only got a one second variable there. That's called Jewing over the Jew.

Except it's going to be 257. Sitting next to a guy who looks like he was on a train at one point in the 40s. Where there was no hot chocolate. You don't know that. Someday maybe I can be fat like you. I know it's a podcast, you can get away with that, but I'm in phenomenal shape.

Aren't you gearing up to star in the Sean Astin story? Stranger things have happened. I'm auditioning to play Scott Kahn in the Scott Astin story. In the Scott Kahn story. Yeah, whatever. Fuck you. All right.

It's a lot of thigh. It's a lot of thigh. Sometimes you don't try to out-joke him. You just say, fuck you. I'm sandwiched between Jews and a supposed Italian who's also a Jew. Yep. All right, so what's the next... What's the next...

Let's go small, medium, and large. Yeah, I got big calves. Fuck off. Is this where I'm supposed to flex? My legs are just sized down from yours, so I'm medium extra.

So we've got 2.58 and 3 minutes so far are the guesstimations of how long Do you have your number yet? Because I don't want you to gauge yours off mine. Because I just watched a movie recently with those little robots. Who'd you watch it with? Oh, God.

Yeah, let's focus on the last part of that sentence real quick. I just watched it with these little robots. Okay, well, I guess we're sticking on this topic for a couple minutes. My therapist said I won't be so lonely on the road if I bring little robot friends. It helps me not cut myself to play with my little robot lovers. I got my time. But I think you need to go.

Fine. Yeah. All right. How much time do you think? I think it's 59 seconds long. Okay. She's going 59 seconds. Yeah, you're damn right it is.

Jacob's jealous of her. It's a short little tune, I think. Of her guess. So we got just shy of a minute there, Adam. And then we got 2.58 and 3. Have you seen the film? I saw pieces of it. Sometimes when I get a little too high and start watching a movie, I start thinking about other movies.

And I think that has something to do about it. Did you see when the kids finally get there after almost dying? No. When the kids get there? I didn't even know there were kids in the movie. There's a fucking Steven Tyler. That's how far I got. There's a Steven Tyler dwarf when they get to the North Pole.

There's an elf. Well, he's small for sure. Wait a minute. There's a dwarf that looks like Steven Tyler? to the North Pole. There's this elf. Well, he's small for sure. Wait a minute, there's a dwarf that looks like Steven Tyler? He's an elf, but they make him digitally small. But he's still got a Steven Tyler face. That's at the end of the movie? And he sings Love in an Elevator.

Wait a second. And then Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler come out in their underwear. It's not a kid's movie. All right. Well, this was poorly advertised. How long do you think they sing about hot chocolate? Oh, I'd love to $1, everybody.

But I think, you know, tunes about hot... What's that? Do it. No. But I think... I'm just going to say that in my everyday life, though. I want a $1, everybody. It does feel good.

It happened to a buddy of mine at a taping once, and he freaked out. And so, yeah, I'm going to go $2.17. I don't think hot cocoa tunes can last longer than a couple minutes and change. $2.17 is what you're going with. All right. Well, to make

an unnecessarily long game about how long things are. I actually saw a bootleg Chinese version of this movie and they sang about Ovaltine. It's nowhere near as good. So you guys are getting it

with the MoBomb. You see the style of Joe. Oh, that's a solid bit. It melted right into the good. So you guys are getting it with the Moe bomb. You see the style of Joe. Oh, that's a solid bit. It melted right into the water. Come on. I finally get why Jacob's been begging me to have Moe on the show. There's a guy more annoying than me, Doug. I swear.

You got to meet this Moe. I love both of you. And Becky said 59 seconds. Adam said 217. Mo said three minutes even. And Jacob went with 258. And I'm happy to say that Becky's our winner. My robots never steer me wrong.

One minute, 54 seconds seconds I'm sorry 46 It's a short tune It's a jingle 146 It's about hot chocolate How long can you fucking go? 2 minutes Climax

The way he set it up You thought it'd be long You know It was a little sneaky move You gotta see between the lines Mo And you never do that to you I haven't seen The Matrix in so long. I've never seen The Matrix.

154. Crazy. No, 146. Oh. I said 154 at first because when you look down at 46, it's crazy how much it looks like 54. Oh, boy. It's a switcher. That like that's relatable yeah it's a lot different once you see it up close but if either of those numbers were truth she is the winner because she

didn't go over and so Becky gets to go first in our final game of the show. Fuck. Oh, no. This is for all the marbles and dildos and pink dongs or whatever you want to call them. I heard the last game is the one where if you can win, you win, but if you lose, never mind. Say that again, but as Shaq. Sorry about my feet and my dick. He probably has said that.

No, I would if I was him. Sorry about my dick. It's all right. Icy hot cock. He has to say it even at home just to get paid. Okay, so... Shaq was albino for sure on that. For sure.

The final game we're going to play today is called Last Man Stanton. Becky's going to go first, followed by Adam, then me, because I like to play along, followed by Jacob and Mo. And here's the deal, Mo and Becky. This game is where we get a name of an actor or actress from the audience,

and then we just take turns naming movies they were in. Can't think of one, you're out. And each of you have one lifeline. And one time during the game, you can go to Katie or Steph or Johnia or Pat. Yeah. But only once.

And try not to, you know, if you're up close to the stage, try not to do hand signals and stuff. To help people. Everybody's on their own. I preselected someone from the audience to give us a suggestion for a name today, and I had a few people reach out,

including Legal Minded Punk. Where you at? Where's that Legal Minded Punk? He's got a Silent Night, Deadly Night shirt on. That's crazy. Whoa. I call bullshit. That's crazy. Whoa. I call it bullshit. That sounds like some fucking conspiracy thing.

How the fuck did he know what the thing was? This Brian Pussain look-alike is all over the shit. That's the first... He's wearing the shirt for the first one. Oh, never mind. We were talking about the third one. I'd like to renege my accusation Totally different film Plus nothing

Nothing he has done so far Or for the rest of the show affects the outcome Alright Agreed If anything you guys should have been helped By the fact that he had that shirt on I thought it was just a cool We would have gotten to Silent Night, Deadly Night a lot quicker But Jacob got there pretty fast I think you guys should have been helped by the fact that he had that shirt on. I thought it was just a cool, it was like Kismet. I thought it was cool.

We would have gotten to Silent Night, Deadly Night a lot quicker. But Jacob got there pretty fast. But anyway, what's your suggestion, sir? Tim Roth. Oh, wow. Tim Roth. A lot of wincing, a lot of sadness. Jacob's very excited about it.

No. It's just interesting. Yeah, well, you know, he's played a Nazi a lot. I get it. Wait. Have you played him? Wait, wait, wait. You must have. I think we have played Tim Roth, but we're going to get a second name because we

Thank God. Who is Tim Roth? Who the fuck that is? Oh, dude, come on. Stop, stop, stop. Don't tell her who he is by describing what movies he's been in because he's still in play. But we're still going to do some Tim Roth, but we're going to get another name to hopefully make it a little bit more competitive.

And another person that I picked out from the audience is Steven Solo. Where's Steven Solo? Yeah. Oh, shit, I thought that was the actor. I was freaking out. Are you here with anyone? Where's Leia?

What was that first name? Oh, yeah, Tim Roth. Hey, dude, what's your name? Steven? And is Solo really your last name? So why'd you pick that for your handle? Is it interesting? Okay, cool.

Steven Solo, what's your suggestion? Who should we do in addition to Tim Roth? Oh, my Christ. What if there's... There's got to be a Ben Dyer. Dude, you might... That's more Tim Roth than Tim Roth. I like it.

I like it. Jesus. Oh, my goodness. This is... You might as well have said, name the cast from Coach Carter. That's at least helpful. Or The Heat.

Yeah. Adam was in that movie. Adam was in it, yeah. All right, so... Yeah, that was a weird dig. Is that it? Is that all it was? That was a weird dig.

He's like, this fucking guy in major studio movies over here. It wasn't a dig. Meanwhile, Spirit Airline knows what the fuck over here. It wasn't a dig. Meanwhile, Spirit Airline knows what the fuck is up. It wasn't a dig. I just want to do the podcast. All right, where's Peaceful Kitty? Where is she?

Peaceful Kitty? Oh, my God. You're so shy. You're over there. Yes. Please say Kate Bosworth or some shit. Well, here's what. You're going to be Please say Kate Bosworth Or some shit Well here's what Kate Bosworth Hillary Duff

You're gonna be excited About this Becky Because she tweeted To me today That she's been Brainstorming Female Last man stanton names

That's woke Which I always Encourage people to do I mean that would be Crazy if you were Sitting there thinking Of doing Helena Bonham Carter. You must have somebody different for us.

You came up with five. Well, pick one. Huh? Reese Witherspoon. My girl! Now we've got ourselves a fighting match. We got a leading lady. I'm still in the game on that.

Holy shit. I don't know the first two, but I know Reese. Fuck. Oh, man. It's always good to have spoons in the game. So I bet that Becky's

thinking of the wrong blonde actress. Don't have it, Moe, for that. Isn't that... That's the chick from Clueless! blonde actress too much all right well too much don't forget about your lifeline you guys and we'll start with Becky the The films. Name a movie that's got any of those three dudes in it. Any two or three? Name a movie that has all three of them in it.

Wow. Thank God for Norbit. Okay. No problem. No, you could do, you know, and each time it comes problem. No, you could do, you know, and each time it comes back to you, you could do

a Reese Witherspoon, a Helena Bonham Carter, or a Tim Roth. Okay. Yes. What is Sweet Home Alabama? And you don't have

to phrase it as a question. Oh my God. You smoked that Jeopardy weed tonight. That's the best. Is that your final answer? I had a little bit of a tasty vape.

Okay, that's my final answer. Okay. Good job, good job. Is that it? Do I have to name 17 more? You might have to. Okay. But it'll come back around to you.

We're going to Mo now. Okay. Wait, wait. I thought we were going to Mo. I thought I laid it all out. Okay, yeah, to Mo now. Okay. Wait, wait. I thought we were going to Mo. I thought I laid it all out. Okay, yeah, you're right. You're right, Jacob. I'm going to go.

You're right, right. I remember Mo was last. Yes, Adam. Election. Yes. Starring Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick. Underrated Tim Roth film. Was he in that?

No. Oh, shit. He might have been. All right, it's my turn. I don't like to take super obvious ones because, you know, I want to leave them for you guys, so I'm just going to say Pulp Fiction. Doug, I'd like to make it a true Daily Double.

Oh. I thought that was going to crush. It did not. It did not. It did not, Mo. I'm learning from the best. I would go with... You know how there's that new movie where Taraji P. Henson can read men's minds?

What? Oh, yeah, it's a Mel Gibson movie. Yeah, there's a version with a woman, and she reads men's minds, and when she walks by you, you just say everything anyway so she doesn't need to, she doesn't need to dig in.

She can just listen. That's why I didn't get that part in that movie. All right, what do you want to, what's your answer? I'll go with Reservoir Dogs. Yeah.

Who's in that? All of them. That's a Tim Roth movie and Reese Witherspoon is In the background in the diner scene Does Tim Roth look like Terry Stotts The Blazers coach? I take that back

There's spoons in the diner scene Get them confused No way What are you guys talking about? He wants Mo to explain who Tim Roth is And I'm intervening No way Yeah, he can't really explain

Without saying movies he's been in. But check this out. We just said two. He's in Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. And Mo, it's your turn. I'm going to go with Fight Club. Portland author who wrote the book that it's based on. And that means nothing.

But I am going with Fight Club, yeah. Okay. I'm not telling you who's in it. You have to play this game yourself. We can say that Helen Bonham Carter's in it. All right, Helen Bonham Carter. You don't have to get that Jewish. She plays Tyler Durden.

Finally. All right. What do you got there, Becky? You know, Reese Witherspoon. Yeah, I got it. Yeah. Cruel Intentions. Yeah.

Great movie. Adam. I'm going to go Legally Blonde, right? Mm-hmm. You know that was coming. Number one. This always brings up an interesting... Well, if I went that way, yes, I would need to say the full title.

I think I can do it. I'm going to try. Legally Blonde 2. Red, white, and blonde. No! Wow! Doug Benson. Circle gets the square.

And that reminds me, no one ever did a Jennifer Coolidge impression. She was in Legally Blonde. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You suggested her. Do you do a good Jennifer Coolidge? Oh, wow. Oh, that's good. That is good.

Wow. That was great. That was great. That is fucking great. And doubles as a Donald Duck. Wow. That was great. That was great. That is fucking great. And doubles as a Donald Duck. Yeah. That is solid. Is that Owen Wilson doing Jennifer Coolidge?

Yes, it is, Adam. That's Jennifer Coolidge looking at Shaxxcock. Oh, wow. Oh, man. On the season finale of Two Broke Girls. Oh, man. On the season finale of Two Broke Girls. Oh, wow. Shag guest stars. She's the one that tells her to bend and snap.

Bend and snap. Yeah. Is that a hot dog? She says that? Is that a line from the movie? Yeah, she goes... Makes me want a hot dog real bad. Portland's own.

Yep, take a bow. Now tell me who the fuck Tim Roth is. Thank you. He's right, though. Without describing it, without saying the movie, how do you describe it? Well, he's the guy that's never there in the Reese Witherspoon movie. We're sitting there wondering, what would Tim Roth

do if he were here? All right, so where are we at? Whose turn is it? Is it me? Is that me? I think Adam, right? No, Adam said... Oh, I just said Legally Blonde 2.

You did, okay. So Adam. Jacob. No, it's me then. Oh, Jacob. Jacob. Tim Roth is that guy that's not Ed Norton in The Incredible Hulk Oh, I see what you did

Is he a teen? Is he a teen hard top? Not really, no And who's Helen Baumgartner? My recess teacher She pitches for the Giants Swear to God, her last name was Baumgartner She was a real asshole

Alright Helen Baumgartner. She was a real asshole. All right. Helen Baumgartner. And you wanted to fuck her. Mo, what do you got? I mean, I did not want to fuck her. She had a mustache. I remember that. Mo!

Alice in Wonderland. Oh, okay. That, yeah. Tell Becky who she played in that. Oh, yeah. Come on. My turn? Mo, please tell Becky who she played in that movie.

Oh, Helen Bonham Carter played the Queen of Hearts. The Queen of Hearts. Mo! Mo! Yeah, yeah. The Queen of Hearts. Oh, she... Helen Bonham Carter played the... Queen of Hearts. Queen of Hearts. Mo. Mo. Yeah, yeah. The Queen of Hearts. Okay, yeah. Yeah.

I haven't seen the movie. I just know her big-ass hair was in that preview, so... Yeah. We're talking about the R. Kelly documentary starring Helen Baumgartner as slave number six.

You would bring that up. Survivor number six. I'm sorry. Alice in Wonderland was the answer. Alice in Wonderland. Becky, what's your answer? For my next movie? Home Again.

Starring Reese Witherspoon. Yes. Good. Good movie. I'm going to go, I think it was Four Christmases. Yes. Reese Witherspoon, yeah. That killed with that one lady.

Why was that so funny to you? I love Christmas. Yeah! If you love Christmas, this is like the most depressing time of the year for you. I got to wait so long. She's still basking in the last one. Life sucks for the next 12 months.

There's plenty of people who haven't taken in their shit yet. Four Christmases? Adam? Yep. Oh yeah, four Christmases. I forgot why we were talking about Christmas. It did feel a little early Oh man Although the first two answers

The first two games were both Christmas movies Okay We hit that moment where I have to say no more talking from the audience And I'm also gonna say Oh I love this movie As soon as I think of what it's called You know what I'm talking about right?

I'm probably gonna say it Inherent Vice It's a good movie I'll take your word for it I'm trying to think who it. Inherent Vice. It's a good movie. I'll take your word for it. Wait, I'm trying to think who's in that. Reese Witherspoon. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Okay, that is a good movie. Yeah. I got one. I got one. Becky's got one. I'm trying to take Reese off the table because I feel like Becky's the only, like the biggest threat, not the only. So I'm going to go with a movie.

You bet your ball sack I am. Never. I don't bet that. Because it's tiny. It's the opposite. You gotta be able to put your money on the table. No, no, no. Put your ball sack on the table. Medium dick, big balls. That's my shtick.

People that know me know that. A little book of poetry you're talking about. This might be too early to go this deep, but I'm gonna go the movie that the first time I ever saw her was in a little movie. You're going to go Balzac's Deep? Yeah, I'm going to go Balzac's Deep on this one, Doug. I'm going to say Freeway. Freeway, yeah. She's in there. See it, you idiots. Obviously, you've never seen it. It's a great movie.

It made her. See it. I was going to do a Helena Bonham Carter to help Becky figure out who she is, but I'll do that next time around. Mo? Water for elephants. Good job. And you know, it's not cheating to be thinking about it before it gets to you. I like an additional

bit of challenge. Well, because I thought it was like water for elephants, but then I realized that was like water for chocolate. Hot chocolate. Nice. Alright, Becky. She's fired up. She's got another one.

Wild. Yes. Pacific Crest Trail. That's officially all I have. Okay, well, something else might come into your head when it comes back around. I hope so, because I don't know the other two. Maybe sequels.

There's no sequel to Wild, but one of these other ones might have one. Adam? I think Helen Baumgartner. Tough to not ever call her that again. Or not. But I believe she was in Ocean's 8. Yes, she was.

Great. Then that works out. Another one that you might know her from, Becky, is she was the pie-making lady in Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I was so going to do that. The what? Sweeney Todd what?

You've never heard the full title. You know what Sweeney Todd is, right? Sweeney Todd. Sort of. I've seen his swively signature on parchment paper. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got this.

You got this. Yeah, that. Just keep, let's just keep it moving. Yeah, just go ahead and put your Sweeney Todd right on this document. Why couldn't you guys, you know like in a Harry Potter one, there's the Tom Riddle signature? That's how I've seen Sweeney Todd's name. Let me ask you this. Can you name Harry Potter movies?

Yeah. Okay. Do that from now on. that's how I've seen Sweeney Todd's name let me ask you this can you name Harry Potter movies yeah okay do that from now on Mo I'm against that Doug Jacob dang it I'm not doing

I'm not taking that I thought this was a Blue Crush podcast do a Tim Roth if you have to yeah Tim Roth I don't have to wow I wish you

would have done that but okay it's obviously your game. You can do whatever you want with what I just did. I know, I know. I don't think she's going to win. I actually forget. None of you have used your lifelines? No, I know.

Tim Roth's made some big movies, but I'm going to go with Little Odessa. Okay. You got a nice over here. It's a good movie. Back to Mo. Don't forget you have a lifeline. You can use it at any time.

Yeah, I want to do my lifeline. Can I... Do I have to ask my person? Yeah, Steph. All right. I guess that makes a lot of sense when I think about her. That's a solid question, I thought.

Like I've already... I don't like how Steph's played so far, so... All right, so. All right, Steph. Just Like Heaven? Wait, do you have a different one? Because I don't know if, you might be totally wrong on that. I have another one. What should she go?

Oh, Wrinkle in Time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, she was in that. Who's in that? Steph is back in the game. Yeah, that's Reese Witherspoon. Huge movie came out this last year. Also starring Oprah, I believe.

Do you get bonus points for saying her name? Adam, look under your chair. It's a giant dick! How'd you get under his chair? Oh, man, couldn't I have gotten, like, a fucking gift card to Target or something? All right.

Who is it? Adam? Becky. What did you say? Mo just went. It's Becky. It's your turn. She said Harry Potter and the Ghost Stone. Are you sure you haven't gone? Mo just used his lifeline. What's your Harry Potter movie?

Can I keep going with the game? Because I have one more. Yeah, you're missing my point. Helena Bonham Carter is in most of the Harry Potter movies. Harry Potter and the Hat Butter Prince, for fuck's sake. I didn't even get that either. I thought you just wanted to distract her. Wait, no, I'm still in the game, though.

Wait, you guys, this is a serious question. Did I already say Sweet Home Alabama? You did. Yes, you did. First. You opened with it. Then I'm going to have to use a lifeline.

You just said the Harry Potter movie. Oh my God. That's my lifeline? No, that's your answer. Just give her the dick. Oh, is Tom Rhodes in that or whatever?

Is Tom Rhodes in that? Is Heather Bombsack Bob Gardner in that? You're going to have some strong sets here tonight. Yeah, fuck. I'm going to be better than you, Mo. I'm currently auditioning features for tonight's show. Little bitch.

She's going to get out there. All right, punchlines after setups. Punchlines after setups. Mo, shut the fuck up. I will throw you off this fucking stage and feed you to the wolves. You see this bitch crowd? My girls. My girls.

Wait. All right. So you're still in. You're in. Okay. Yeah. Keep doing what you're doing. I guess I'll use a lifeline.

No. No. No. No. You will not. You're good. Oh, I got one. You said it.

You said it. You got one. You're good. You got one. You're good. Oh, I get it. One of those actors is the Harry Potter. I bet you know other Harry Potter movies, too.. Oh, I got one. You said it. You said it. You're good. You're good. You got one. You're good. Oh, I get it. One of those actors is in Harry Potter. I bet you know other Harry Potter movies, too.

Who? Heather or Tim? Heather? Forget it. Adam. I think I need to use the lifeline, because the movie- He's going to his lifeline. Yeah.

Go for it. The name of the movie I'm thinking of, I'm going to fuck the title up, and I don't want to get out. Who's my lifeline? It would be the name tag you chose, Pat, right in front of you. Oh, great. What was your gift card?

All right, well, you know what? Is there like a gas leak in here or something? Why is everybody deteriorating at the last minute? I don't know, but I want to play HQ at 6 o'clock, so move it along. Pat, what are we going with? What is it? Rob Roy.

Rob Roy. Great. Thanks, dog. Rob Roy. He does unspeakable things to poor Jessica Lange and Rob Roy. Jessica Lange's hot. What are you saying? Nonsense.

I did. I'm going to go with four rooms. Oh, yeah. Jacob. Do it. Do it. Just say one. do it just say one Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire okay

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone no oh no you already did that hold on I already did that you bitch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone No Oh No You're out I already did that Hold on I already did that

You bitch But she said 57 different fucking movies How do I know which one counted She's not in the first one She only said I only heard one She said Lifeline

That movie No I didn't What Let's move on I want to get Katie I got a different one Great job though That's not how You'd say that to Alex Trebek?

Yeah Yo let me guess another one What is backup answer Alex? What is option B? Alright Becky Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Prince That's what you said last time Oh it is?

Yeah But you added fuck you all Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? Harry Potter and the little boy from Geppetto? The little boy from Geppetto? Harry Potter and the who is

Tim Roth? Night low key. Alright, well, thank you for playing Becky. Good job, Becky. Wait, really? You had a lot of great guesses. Can I use my lifeline? Okay. She did.

Isn't that how you play? No, my lifeline never changed. She didn't go to John yet. Oh, okay. Okay, John, yeah? Where you at? Who? Oh, John.

Okay, all right. It's your name tag. What the fuck is happening? I don't fucking know. Sorry, it's my first time. Okay, all right, John. You can use your name tag after you. What?

For who? Tim Roth. Okay, we're going to go Planet of the Apes with Tim Roth. That's correct. Thank you so much, John. Do you really think she's going to win, Jacob? Maybe. Back off!

I'm getting thin, too. Rule schmools! I'm getting thin. Adam? I know the movie. I feel like I'm 50-50 on this title, but I'm just going to say it. It's Reese. It's Mark Wahlberg.

It's Fear. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Kendall Gill, Tell I Die. Fucking keep them close to your heart, always. Did you know the working title of that movie was Rollercoaster Finger Bang?

It was. I do know that. I read Reese's vlogs. There's a joke where no one gets hurt. Kendall Gill. All right. Oh, man. I'm going to go with one of Reese's first joints a little ditty called

Man in the Moon. Wait, no. I fucked it up. No, that's not what it's called. That was the Andy Kaufman thing, right? Yeah, you're fine. Man on the Moon. Okay, that's what I'm going with. Jacob?

I believe Helena Bonham Carter was in Wings of the Dove. Damn. I can't verify that but It's true Sounds super legit Mo is out, Becky Do I have any other lifelines? Are you sure? Well you could use your street shout out And that's where you run down to the street and ask somebody.

Oh, my God. I would love to do that. I would love to find out what she came back with. He says the answer is this crack. But no more guesses. Ask a black man. Stop. What are you mouthing at me? Don't. Stop. but no more guesses ask a black man stop what are you mouthing at me

don't stop no we're all laughing with you oh okay oh alright fuck she wasn't in

Gold Diggers was she that wasn't even a thing was she Marichi alright I think I'm out yeah thank you for playing you're awesome All right. I think I'm out. Yeah.

Thank you for playing. You're awesome. Adam. So there's this movie I'm thinking of. Oh, God. It's got Reese in it. Because I don't know who Tim Roth is. I mean, I do.

I can see his face. I just... So it's Reese. It's Owen Wilson, surprisingly, and it's another fella. And there's two different versions of the title I'm thinking of,

and I'm going to go with the one I think. Okay. Some ought to know. There's no way that that's what it's called. I swear to God, it's some weird, like, not good rom-com kind of. I've got kind of an idea what you're talking about, but you're right.

No, no. Something's got to give. No, shut the fuck up. That is wrong. When you're out, you don't get a guess because that title would still be in play. I thought it was my lifeline. What? Wait, am I right? I'm it was my lifeline. Oh, Moe. What?

Wait, am I right? I'm going to go. No. Oh. You're out. Walk the line. Jacob. Well,

did you do a movie? They're all out and I know you want to play. Did you want to do a movie? You didn't do one. Walk the line. Oh, walk the line. I'm sorry. I screamed it

next to your face. Okay. How about I'm going to set you up for the win How about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 Yeah that's a good one Maybe she was dead by that one I don't know

I stopped at the prince one Jacob is our winner Katie Bird is our winner Yeah Katie Bird is our winner. Yeah, Katie, come get all these bags. Where you at, Katie? There she is. Congratulations. Congratulations.

And thank you for taking all this stuff off of our hands. Apologies about some of the items. I'd wash them all before you even Do anything with any of them Congratulations Katie do you want your name tag back too? Oh Jacob wants it If you don't want it

Alright Jacob's gonna keep it Nice good to see you guys getting along She says she has five of them Let's do some plugs you guys Starting with Adam Ray what's going on man Besides two shows here tonight Two shows here tonight five of them. Let's do some plugs, you guys, starting with Adam Ray. What's going on, man? Besides two shows here tonight. Two shows here tonight.

Come to that. Check out my podcast with Brad Williams about last night. And I'm voicing the talking horse sidekick to She-Ra on Netflix's She-Ra right now.

Perfect. It's about the same applause I got from the popcorn popper, so I'll take it. Thanks for having me, Doug. Thank you. You're the man, dude. How fucking amazing

is this show every time? Yeah. Always the greatest. It's been a couple of bad ones. But thank you, Adam. You're the man. Becky Robinson, what's going on with you? Hey, y'all.

Guys, I just want to say I love you. I love this town. I hate to have let you down. Fingers in the air. I'm drunk off rumble mints. The two shows tonight are not going to suck. We're going to prevail, and everything will be fine. But I just want to say I love this city.

I love you guys. Follow me on Instagram, BeckyRobinson4. And on YouTube... I'm number four. I'm the fourth best pussy in this town. There are three others before me. And if I could just give you any insight to how single I am. I texted my ex-boyfriend last night

because Portland knows how to get a bitch drunk. Adam understands. That was the worst mic drop of all time. I texted my ex-boyfriend in Portland last night and I said, hey, and he responded, no. It's not funny. It's not funny. Did you use your lifeline?

Hey, you were supposed to remind me of Periscope during the name tag part. Yeah, you failed us. Anyways, thanks. Thanks for being here, Wade. Thank you, guys. And thank you, Becky. Thanks, Doug.

Love you. Thank you guys so much. Put away your phones Live your lives I'm just trying to end This fucking thing Mo Mo Mandel

I will be at the Well first of all Thank you for having me On the show It was my first time It was fantastic This was a wonderful way To lose my virginity

With Jacob Just like I did for real In 2003 I will be performing At the Calgary Laugh Shop The 10th through the 12th Of January That's in 2003. I will be performing at the Calgary Laugh Shop the 10th through the 12th of January. That's next week. And I will...

You don't have to make up places. It's in Canada. It's a country. Just like your girlfriend. And also me and my girlfriend, who's a dick doctor for real, we do a podcast called The Full Release.

It's like Loveline if Adam and Drew fucked. And she... No, it isn't. She makes blowjob sounds during the show, apparently. And, yeah, so it's good. Who are you texting?

Is that your ex-boyfriend? Thank you, Mo Mandel. I said put away your phones. Are you playing, Doug? I don't got shit. Just follow me on social media. Let's get out of here. Let's take this up.

One F. Jacob's like, I'll be on Doug Loves Movies. Fingers crossed. I think they always record it here. We always have a successful recording. Doug Loves Movies is going to be at Hyenas in Dallas on Saturday, February 2nd at 420. And thank you once again to all of my guests.

You can stay seated because we're almost done. Adam Ray, Becky Robinson, Mo Mandel and Jacob Siroff. And as always, I'm just going to explain this to Becky and Mo real quick. Their consolation prize is I have to read what they wrote on the back of their name tag and call it a shithead. So as

always, folding laundry is a shithead. call it a shithead. So as always, folding laundry is a shithead. Walt Disney is a shithead. Anti-Semite. And get ready in the sound booth, this one's a triple, so after the third one. I hope this doesn't become a trend. People who complain about free shitheads, that bitch at the office is a shithead, and the government shutdown is a shithead. Yeah! Hit it! Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds

with 50 azobot kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Thank you very much. Love you guys. Thank you, Helium. Thank you.