Doug Loves Movies - Al Madrigal, Ari Shaffir, Josh Wolf and Graham Elwood guest

Episode Date: October 30, 2017

Live from the All Things Comedy Festival in Phoenix, Doug welcomes comics Al Madrigal, Ari Shaffir, Josh Wolf and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. I'd like my microphone to be a little hotter. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you for the first time from Stand Up Live in Phoenix, Arizona.

Yeah! Of course, we've done a lot of shows over in Tempe at the Tempe Improv and the sister club of Stand Up Live, but this is our first time here and we're part of the All Things Comedy Podcast Festival. Are you guys enjoying the festival so far? I see a lot of people not clapping, so I'll just assume this is your first show of the festival, or maybe your only show, and I thank you for that. If that's the case.

It's Saturday, October 28. Ragnarok is almost upon us the name tags are always great here in the Scottsdale Phoenix Tempe Mesa area and look at that the house lights are already coming up a little bit. Oh, wow. That is so amazing. When I came in earlier to check and make sure the stage was all right, these two ladies up front were already in their seats at 3 o'clock. They'd been here for 90 minutes. And I was like, why are these ladies in here so early?

And they're like, oh, they were here, so we let them in. And I was like, why are these ladies in here so early? And they're like, oh, they were here, so we let them in. But I did not see that either of you had a name tag. I was like, what kind of no name tag having sons of bitches? But then it turns out, one of them's got a gigantic, the best little whorehouse in Alexis poster. Which I don't know about why you would want to insinuate there's a whorehouse inside you

but that's clearly the good side of the table because the other side is evil she's just got a Darth Vader mask on her fist she's fisting Darth Vader's fucking face and what is your name? Susan?

you didn't want to put Susan on a Darth Vader mask makes sense what's this baby driver one over here Jeremy driver okay I heart hucka what hucka Aubrey okay what's this Wonder Woman one wonder Jeanette you know the puns are getting so bad but as long as it's a movie you like that's the important thing what's the pain planes trains and automobiles one James trains in automobiles. You see how it works, Wonder Jeanette? All right, thank you. Go ahead and put them down. But lots of good ones. Lots of options for my four guests to choose from.

But before I bring them out here, I've got to do Doug plugs. We've got stand-up tomorrow night back in Los Angeles over, not stand-up, but Douglas Movies back in Los Angeles tomorrow night at Meltdown Comics. And then I'm doing stand-up on Sunday, November 5th in New Orleans at

the Cafe Istanbul at 420. Lots more shows coming up this year. Find out about all of them at douglosmovies.com. At douglosmovies.com! Yeah! Yeah.

Yeah, we should maybe, we should, in honor of Austin Powers, maybe we should start selling Yeah Baby at the end of it. That would be fun slash obnoxious. Here's what I brought. It's a tiny prize bag, but it's packed full of really amazing shit.

I brought the noise-making device that I use at Meltdown Comics to calm the crickets. I don't feel it's that effective. But there it is. I'm giving it away, getting rid of it. I've also got Mr. Roosevelt,

a movie that I'm in briefly, just opened at the Drafthouse on South Lamar in Austin and at the San Antonio Drafthouse. And here's a little booklet made by the director, star, and writer of the movie. It's all about the world of Mr. Roosevelt. And it's pretty cool and also super exclusive. And that movie will be opening in more cities soon. A pipe from Peacemaker.

It's the last Christmassy pipe that I have to give away just in time for Christmas. On Dining with Doug and Karen, we recently had on the awesome Gorilla Mall food truck, not food truck, their actual restaurant in Alhambra, California. And here's a really cool pin that's like a burger but with two spatulas across it. It's like a skull and crossbones but with a burger and spatulas. And oh, speaking of skulls,

here's this skeleton thing that I have no idea who gave it to me. I was somewhere and somebody went, here, have this. And I was like, okay, I'll put that in the prize bag. It's a nice little Halloween treat. And speaking of Halloween treats, they got a bunch of candy in the green room, so I got you guys some M&M's. Oh, who's excited about M&M's? She puts her hand up, I just hit the woman sitting across from her. So you guys can share.

There's some Jolly Ranchers in here. Oh, also another small Peacemaker pipe. So all that stuff's going in the bag, plus stuff from my four guests. It is a podcast festival, so these are all podcasting... Wait, what is that? Oh, it's just a post-it note telling me what. Don't worry about it. This is some real behind-the-scenes shit right there.

Please welcome to the stage, and give a warm welcome to Al Madrigal, Ari Shaffir, Graham Elwood, and Josh Wolfe. That is hilarious. There's a lot of chanting for Ari and then finally a yeah Al. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Let's meet them individually, starting with the man directly to my right.

It's Al Madrigal! Oh! One of the reasons we're all here this weekend. Yeah, we're doing this first year of the All Things Comedy Festival. You're the All Things Comedy guy, you and Bill Burr. And you know about it because you actually were on a panel with us in Austin. South by Southwest, yes.

We started this in 2012-ish. Ari was one of the first podcasts. Josh has been on. Graham, you were one of the first comedy film nerds. So we started with about 10 podcasts. Now we have closer to 50. And we... I listen to every one, every week. Yeah. We opened up a studio and now this is our first festival. So we're trying to let

the comics own the company that distributes their content. So now all the comedians... Yeah, it's exciting. And someday we'll woo Doug away from his private enterprise that he caused. Yeah, I'm doing alright, just not being under anybody's banner, but... Literally, he said that Wally's

under someone's banner. Take a picture yeah they're just paying me i'm taking their money but uh but it is a it is a great enterprise and if i hadn't gotten into podcasting so early i would be want to be part of a network like this. I'm sure we'll do a lot of stuff together. Yeah, of course. That's a real awkward negotiation. The show is over. But you just got

into town today? I did, this morning. Yeah, and so what else are you participating in during the festival? I'm guessing, I think, on a couple of podcasts, I want to try to make it to Bill tonight, because this is the very first time that Bill Burr is going to be podcasting in front of people. Yeah, it's tonight, and it's not Monday morning.

It is Saturday night, and he turned down the request to be on my show today because he's preparing. And he turned down the request to be on my show today because he's preparing. It's normally a loose monologue from him, but tonight he wants to do something special. He flew in actually just now, and he learned how to be, I'm not sure if you're paying attention to his act, but he learned how to be a helicopter pilot, so he flew a fucking helicopter here. No way, really? What? What? Is that real? be a helicopter pilot so he flew a fucking helicopter here no way I'm getting in a helicopter that fucking Bill Burr

look at this fucking seagull over here fucking guy fucking flying this helicopter over here fucking asshole down there fucking I'm gonna to do a fly-by on that fucking camper. People think they can fucking RV and shit. You work with someone long enough. Yeah.

It really is like he's here. Could you be two guests, Sal? Can we have five guests on the show and you just take Bill's place whenever it comes to him? Deal. All right. Hey, Bill, what's your Netflix cartoon called again?

It's fucking F is for Family. It's about... That's so good. Yeah, it's really good good I just closed my eyes and I'm like oh that is spot on it's more of a curse than anything else let me tell you because

if anybody heckles the show today I'd like Bill to take care of it because the rest of us are a bunch of softies sitting next to Al we've got Ari Shafir take care of it. Because the rest of us are a bunch of softies. Sitting next to Al, we've got Ari Shafir! Hello, everybody. Hello. Hello.

I'd say the nicest guy and biggest dick in comedy. If you weren't here yesterday, you missed out on that gigantic schlong of his. It's just... If you weren't here yesterday, you missed out on the gigantic schlong of his. It sounded like a woman just slid down it. He's going to fight a fire.

He's got a flesh stripper pole he'd like you to work in fairness it's the balls that are big it's just the look and what do you got going on for the rest of the fest? this show and then I'm doing Renazisi's show hear me this book which I guess I was there when he conceived of that where he just doesn't read

so he asked someone who's read a book to just explain it to him, just spoiler the whole thing. Which book are you going to explain to him? We're doing a four-person one. So it's him and Ryan O'Neill hasn't heard it. And then me and Jeff Danis have read it. And it's Lord of the Flies. You're going to just describe it to him? Yeah, just tell him the whole plot, what happened, and then, you know, make fun of it along the way.

All right, so if you've read Lord of the Flies, you can skip that show. If you've got a kid... Sounds like it's just for dummies. Yeah, that's for people who didn't do eighth grade, I guess, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, cool. And then that's it. Then I'm done. Then I guess, right? Yeah. Well, cool.

And then that's it. Then I'm done. Then I'm leaving tomorrow. Nice. Yeah, me and Steve Simone are going to Grand Canyon. On a jet plane or a helicopter? On a car. We're going to Grand Canyon.

What? Yeah, I've never been. I've never been. Well, also, we killed someone by accident, so we heard it's a good way to dump. Well, you're sober for the month, so I guess that's a great time to look at the grand canyon when you're just sober and you know just open to life's possibilities sounds terrible can i ask you a question why are they calling you a welcher for

that uh bet because they're cunts my life so because the bet is you're all supposed to not drink or do marijuana for the whole month of October. Yeah, no, because the last bet was if they can both be not obese. Fat Bert and Fat Tom. And then they weighed in. And then I was like, oh, you need to measure Tom because he's lying about his height. He says he's 6'1", but no one believes that because he's an inch and a half shorter than Bert, who's also 6'1". So I was like, measure Tom.

And then fucking cunt-ass Rogan was like, well, why are you trying to get out of it? I'm like, I'm not trying to get out of it. Fucking measure his height. And he goes, I'll pay for you. I'm like, measure his fucking height. And then he measured the next day. He was like an inch and a half shorter than he was.

So I was like, all right, I'll pay now. You're still barely not obese. I'll pay. As soon as I get home from fucking Asia. And whatever. Everyone calls me a Welsh-er because you guys are fucking jealous of how little I Welsh.

And as soon as I got home i'm like what do you want to go to what sporting event he wants to go to the national championship game in january that's where we're going to so all of you all right i don't i don't understand any of that i know who i am people who are following that probably know what he's talking about, but I'm just happy for all of you that you're all embracing the idea of taking a month off. I'm not embracing it. I don't like doing it. I hate it. I'm not friends with any of them anymore.

I'm an adult. My life was going fine before I met them, and now suddenly it's horrible. I'm honestly thinking of killing myself just for that DMT rush into my brain so I could get up on something. Fucking grown man. Yeah, please don't kill yourself

because you're a national treasure. Thanks. Yeah, that's what I say when I do my suicide hotline job. I just call everybody a national treasure. It seems to make them feel better about themselves. Yeah, I am a national treasure. Speaking of national treasures, Graham Elwood is here!

Hello, Phoenix! Phoenix! Hi, I've been sober for 15 years um it's a delight are you're gonna see the world in a whole new blah blah blah blah blah have you really 15 years yeah no weed or anything yeah and he didn't do he didn't even do the 12 steps he was just like i'm out and then really yeah and every once in a while in the first few years of his sobriety, he'd call or text me and say, you know, I'm hanging out with some girl. She's drinking a lot, so I had half a wine or something.

Half a wine? What does that even mean? Half a wine? Was that in the middle of a romance novel? What are you talking about? Like he'd take a sip of something just to try to stay in the game with some girl in a bar, you know, because it is hard to be sober and hang out with a girl who's drinking, you know?

It is hard. Yeah, but... But he's, you know, been sincerely very, you know... Good job, Graham. I feel like I'm supposed to be getting a chip after that speech. You and Chris Hardwick are two guys I know that drank considerably and also were super fun to drink with, but also, you know, a fucking mess.

And both of you went, hey, I'm going to stop and didn't need the program to do it. And now you're boring as fuck. Now you're the worst person alive. And what are you up to? You got any more shows at the festival? I'm just going to a lot of spiritual retreats. No, I'm doing the 1145 show tonight.

I've been here since Thursday. I've been having a blast. This festival, Al, has been fucking awesome. So it's really like... I've lost my since Thursday. I've been having a blast. This festival, Al, has been fucking awesome. So it's really like... I've literally lost my voice from laughing and yelling, and so I've had a blast. So yeah,

it's been great. So this, and then the late show tonight, and then flying home tomorrow. Nice. Do you ever say, instead of doing 12 steps, do you ever say, I'm powerless over these nuts? I mean, whatever. You live your life. And finally, a man who never laughs at anything. Josh Wolf!

Josh Wolf! What's going on, man? Oh, not much much i'm doing a podcast what's up with you you just came in from new york city i did come in from new york city i um i fucking have you ever flown out of newark yeah that's the worst one it's the worst airport in the country without a great one it's i couldn't believe it somebody asked me today and when i was she looked at my ticket she goes you're going to phoenix and i said yeah she goes are you sure and i was like well i i was when i walked up to the gate but now now I'm not as sure. Really stupid. Did that person work for the airline? No.

Somebody go on show, go to Phoenix, bro. Yeah, just a random person. I had TSA take my weed, my edibles out of the bag. What? You asked them to? No. Can you take the weed out? Hey, anybody need any?

I got a whole fucking bag. Look at the quality I have. Here's what I found out. Almonds can look like a bomb. So my almonds, which were next to my edibles. So they took... Hold on, hold on. You travel with almonds.

Just so we're clear. Okay. Yeah, brag about it. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. Hang on, hang on. I'm sorry, who's nuts? Dee's nuts.

Boom. But she... And they took the edibles out, and she waved them in my face like this, and she said, do you want to talk about this? She waved your nuts in your face? I have Ari Shafir

nuts and she picked them up. No, she said, do you want to talk about this? Were they marked? They were Chibichus. So she said, do you want to talk about this? And I said, only if you do. And she said, I do not. And I said, I'll see you later. And she said, okay. Well, this comes after the guy from Stranger Things

just got popped for coke in the LAX airport. Did you hear about this? Which guy? Which guy? The sheriff? I think the sheriff, yeah. David Harbour? Yeah. Oh, I like that guy.

Yeah, he's a cool guy. Now he's super cool. Wait, this guy's adding information. What? Oh, it was the big brother? The one that looks like he's wearing a wig even in season two? What the fuck is with his hair?

It always looks like a wig. I kept waiting for a reveal where he'd be bald like 11 or some shit. Also, that guy's so weird that he'd probably advise him. Yeah, you should do some coke, man. You fucking need to speed it up. I mean, you're season two of, like, yeah, you should do some coke, man. You fucking need to speed it up. I mean, you're season two of a hit Netflix show.

You should do some coke if you want to. Yeah, what else are you going to do? How much coke are you flying with to get busted, though? Like, it's not like there are dogs there. You've got to have a big fucking brick. Yeah, that's... You never hear about people getting busted with drugs at airports anymore because they're just

looking for bombs. Yeah. Or almonds. Or almonds, yeah. When I was little, we were apparently... I think I was around 10 or 11.

We were in the Santa Barbara airport, which I don't know how that makes sense, but... Right, it's tiny. Apparently, my dad had two joints in a Marlboro Red thing in his front pocket.

That's the right place to put it. Yeah. And the security guard, TSA at that time, looks in the pack, sees the joints, and then looked down at the three little boys and looked back at at my dad, and just went, just go. And so... Yeah. That's when you could just walk through some weed. Nobody cared, right?

He got it. He smoked in the bathroom like a fucking grown man. He could deal with his kids on the plane. Let's talk prize bag. Let's start with Josh over there. What'd you bring today, dude? Well, I brought a shirt that I got in a swag bag

this week in New York from some sort of true TV show. But I don't know why it was in the bag because it doesn't say true TV anywhere. It's just a shirt. It's just a blank long-sleeved shirt? That's actually not bad.

I would take that. Oh, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. What does it say? Right there. Oh, look at that. That's the worst marketing I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. And then this is one of five from my very short-lived talk show,

The Josh Wolfe Show, and this is one of the hats. With that shirt, the only time people would notice it says True TV on the end of the sleeve is when you push the sleeve up to do heroin. But that's an awesome contribution. It's a very nice shirt. Thank you very much. Pass it down.

Thank you. And these Josh Wolfe they really I mean hats there's only five only five of them yeah what are you trying to do Larry just feel it just feel it it's pretty soft yeah so just wanna know how soft it is yeah you know all right Graham Oh creepy So creepy. I just want to feel it. I just want to know how soft it is.

Do you think it could slide down my dick? Grav, what do you got? I've got a cavalcade of gifts, Douglas. First of all, I went with a shower cap. Oh, nice. They put you up at a nice hotel while you're here in town. And how about Evita Rosemary Mint Shampoo, ladies and gentlemen?

That's actually one of my favorites. See, I like that. As a comedian, I'm a mini shampoo connoisseur, and I really enjoy the Evita Rosemary Mint. Do you guys ever... Do you just want this one, Al? Do you need it? I mean...

You can leave it for there. Do you guys ever stock up on little shampoos when you're at a hotel? Oh, yeah. And use that at home for the next month? I rub the cart

all the fucking time. Gilbert Gottfried takes all the stuff... In the room. All the stuff he can from every room, and then there's a documentary about him

called Gilbert. His wife shows he's got tons of tubs of containers filled with hotel shampoos. He takes more than he needs. I just take what I need. I don't take every single thing. Well, you're not a Jew.

Yeah. God damn it. You know I want to be. What else, Graham? I've got a delicious Kit Kat. Oh, that's great. And then I was at a buddy, or I have a K-Cup.

I don't know if you like coffee. I just wanted to make you have that. You have to have a very specific kind of coffee maker to use that though, right? Yeah, only a K-Cup would this work for but it's by place rose keurig keurig yeah yeah so this woman's very excited about it so she wants it she wants it and then i was at a why don't you just give that to her all right there you go no one else gives a shit good nice good catch and then i was at a buddy's house today and he was like hey man do you want a fucking pomegranate? I'm like, he lives in some goddamn hillbilly militia compound

way the fuck outside of town. That's a good-looking pomegranate. It's really solid, but I'm like, I got to fly tomorrow. This really is pomegranate country. Yeah, it is. Like, I'm not taking this. If Josh Wolfman's almonds Scott fucking flagged at TSA you better believe they're like oh that's a weird

apple bomb like that's and then I have a copy of Earbuds the podcasting documentary yes available also on iTunes directed by Graham Ellwood thank you dude that's awesome Doug Benson is in it

I show up in it. Yeah, I show up in it. I'm like, I love podcasting. I got a text from Ari today. I texted him saying, hey, can you bring something for the prize bag? And he wrote back, oh, no, I'm coming from Phoenix.

I had no idea what that meant. We're all in Phoenix. I had no idea what that meant. I thought it was merch or something. We're all in Phoenix. I just meant, you know, just bring anything. So what did you come up with? Well,

everybody likes to be refreshed, right? What's more refreshing than a delicious Coca-Cola? Yeah. But not just any Coca-Cola, Mexican Coca-Cola. Oh, yeah.

Good one. We have sugar, everyone. We have cane sugar. I heard that I heard Joe Arpaio outlawed these. Fuck Joe! That guy spent time in a pink shirt.

I certainly don't bring him up thinking that my crowd's gonna go, hey man, give that guy a break. He's retired. You know, that's how it works. You stop being racist when you retire. You just watch Wheel and don't care about anything.

What do you got for us? Thank you, Ari. What do you got for us there, Al? You got a bag full of stuff. I brought a bunch of these ATC Comedy Festival t-shirts. I got a women's and I got a men's.

Both mediums. And I got some stickers in here. And then I actually wrote a little note on my hotel stationery that says, congrats, you're a winner. Oh! That's nice. That is a personal touch that probably goes all the way back to every one of your one-night stands. Here you go.

Oh, yeah. Right in the nightstand with a $50 Nordstrom gift card. Congratulations on being the winner. Yeah. You just leave the hotel in the morning with a note that says that as you're off to the airport. Congratulations on being the winner. That's a lot of stuff. I've been on a bunch of these shows and that's a pretty damn good prize pack. Oh yeah, it's a good haul. Somebody's in pretty good shape. Probably could live on the streets for a few days.

With all of this stuff. With that true TV shirt, you could make into a tent, so it's pretty fucking awesome. All right. I got a question for each one of you. We'll start with Josh, and it is this.

Oh, shit. I know what you're going to ask me, and I don't remember. You get this every time. I know I do this and I forget every time. You should just go guess one dollar. What was the last movie you saw? Yeah. I'm really trying.

Honestly, I was in New York this week and I watched The Hobbit. You watched what? The Hobbit. The Hobbit? The Hobbit. You watched what? The Hobbit. The Hobbit? The Hobbit. You think that's what it's called? Whatever the first one was. Was the first one an unexpected journey?

It was called The Hobbit. Colon. Okay. So you sat through all three hours of it? Yeah, you know what? And because I love that whole, I'm kind of a Hobbit nerd and Lord of the Rings nerd, and I just...

Clearly. I guess that means you probably have like a foot thing. Huh? You have a foot fetish. Because they got some weird ass feet. Yeah, but I don't have a foot fetish for big hairy feet, dude. That's not my thing. No, but I watched that first

one and I watched it because I remember watching it the first time thinking, this is the first one of these movies I did not like. It sucked. It sucked. That was a money grab. I just didn't like it again. It was a bunch of talking. It is interesting that it took nine

hours to tell the Lord of the Rings story, which is several very thick books. And then nine hours to tell The Hobbit, which is one book. Yeah. That first movie they stretched about three hours too long.

I did not enjoy it at all. You watched all of it? Yeah, because when I watched it the first time, I walked out disappointed and I thought, maybe I set the bar too high. You know when you go into a movie with the expectations too high and then there's no way the movie can touch it. So I was like, nah, I hated

it. Maybe the expectations now are so low that I'll like it this time. I gotta say, I don't like any of that shit. You don't? Uh, no. You hate everything, Bill. Yeah, fuck Middle Earth any of that shit. You don't? No. Fucking. You hate everything, Bill. Yeah, fuck fucking. Fuck Middle Earth. Fuck that place.

Fucking Harry Potter. Fucking guy. That fucking guy. Hobbit, Harry Potter. I hate fucking all that shit. That fucking guy. He's got a scar on his head. Who fucking cares?

I really love Doug's third generation impression. All of my impressions are of other people's impressions of things. That's how I do it. Graham, what was the last movie you saw? I just watched on Netflix, I watched Gold, which is another great Matthew McConaughey.

When you say another great, that's sarcasm. No, I think he's amazing. I think when he goes full crazy, like this movie, he's in the jungle. I put this up next to his Lincoln commercials as the craziest fucking shit, you know? And he's just like staring into a bull going,

you're 3,000 pounds. It makes me so angry in that one commercial where he asks his dogs where they want to eat. And then they tell him, and he goes, no, we're going to go where I want to go. Like, what the fuck kind of asshole asks your dogs where they want to go and then says, no, sorry, dogs.

We're going to have sushi. What dogs like sushi? Well, they're all like, I don't know, dogs. We're going to have sushi. What dogs like sushi? Well, they're all like, I'm a mommy, right? They're all like, I'm a mommy. Who the fuck asks their dogs where they want to go to dinner anyways? Dogs eat shit.

They go to the backyard for dinner. Yeah, who brings their dogs to a restaurant? It's all crazy. I disagree. I think you guys are on a lower level than McConaughey. You'll never understand what it's like to be a winner. And I feel like Lincoln tricked him into thinking that we're doing this really crazy movie

about this rich guy that dives into pools and he's like, I love it, brother. Just let it roll. You know, and they're just like. I love it, brother. Yeah. So that's, Gold is a Lincoln commercial in the jungle. It's fantastic.

You genuinely liked it? Yeah, I did. Okay. One time in the belly room of the comedy store, Matthew McConaughey was there with Jon Bon Jovi. And yeah, and McConaughey was drunk off his ass and kept heckling everybody. It got annoying because how many comebacks

you can have for Matthew McConaughey? This was 15 years ago, you know? And then we'd leave and go to the green room or the belly room, and then Jon Bon Jovi would come out and be like, hey, I'm really sorry for Matthew. I really apologize. And you're like, that's okay, Jon Bon Jovi. I get it.

And I just repeat over and over again. Oh, I saw, do you call them by his full name every time? That's fucking fantastic. You have to, yeah. Hey, Graham, do you want to give us a little Bon Jovi? You mean if I was maybe like, wanted, dead or alive?

Because I walk these streets alone a loaded six tank on my back. I drive a Lincoln, because I might not make it back. I said I've been everywhere, and said I'm standing tall. I've seen a million faces, and I've podcasted them all. Cause I'm a cowboy. Okay. On a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted. Wanted.

Dead or alive. Wanted. Wanted. Dead or alive. Grandmelwood.com. All right. Woo. I can't afford that song.

That whole part's going to be cut out. That was such an artist's interpretation of it, Doug. I think you're all right. Ari, what's the last movie you saw? I saw... Did documentaries count? Yeah. I saw that documentary on the making of movie you saw? I saw... Do documentaries count? Yeah. I saw that documentary

on the making of... the documentaries count. God damn, yes, they do. All right. I saw the one on Apocalypse Now. Me and Joe List watched that. Oh, the Heart of Darkness? Heart of Darkness, yeah.

The one where they show the outtake where Marlon Brando's like, I just swallowed a bug. Yeah, yeah. He's doing this hard for scene. He's like, and then... Fucking love that, I just swallowed a bug. Yeah, yeah. He's doing this hard for scene. He's like, and then... Fucking love that.

Swallowed a bug. Yeah, or he's talking and he turns back and he goes, I can't think of anything else to say. It's like, okay, thanks. Is he not acting anymore? Thanks, our movie's way over budget and you're just fucking around.

Yeah. It was pretty great. It was pretty great. Yeah. When the helicopters fly off. Yeah, he's like, where are they going? Like, to war. I'm like, oh, fuck. and you're just fucking around. It was pretty great. It was pretty great. When the helicopters fly off? Where are they going? To war. I'm like, oh, fuck. All right. When's the war over? Maybe tomorrow.

All right. I guess we'll wait. It was pretty inspiring, though. I actually liked it, the way he was way over budget. Everybody thought it couldn't get made. Did you ever consider this wouldn't get done? He goes, no. What are you talking about? It was amazing. Of course it'd get done. All right. lost everyone. It's a great doc.

It's a fantastic film. It shows you the insanity of that movie and how it became, like, one of the best movies ever based on all the crazy shit that went down. On a steel horse and a raft. Come on in. Come on in. The Apocalypse Now documentary is amazing. on a steel horse I'm around I'm blown in blown in the apocalypse now documentary is amazing

it um oh badrigal it it was the last movie you saw finally got around to it no I saw it I saw it. Finally got around to it? No, I saw it in the theater. I saw it in Atlanta.

I saw it at 11.45 p.m. showing on a Thursday night and expected a lot more people to be talking in the theater than they were. Talking in the theaters, yeah, though. So I really went for that. I was very disappointed. And kept turning around. I went, come on.

I'm here for the experience. Come on, yell some shit out. Get away from that sewer clown. You shouldn't trust that sewer clown. And then Tracy Morgan's watching it. You should trust that sewer clown! And then Tracy Morgan's watching it. That clown's going to get you pregnant! But I'm watching a lot of Amazon Prime on my phone now that I discovered Amazon Video App.

And so I'm watching There Will Be Blood. And I'm watching No Country for Old Men simultaneously. Those are competing movies, right? They're both two great movies right at the same time. I'm flipping back and forth. You're just switching between reels between those two movies? Boop. Boop. Which one do you like better I like no country for old men yeah me too yeah me too there's a lot of to me you know

there will be blood as a classic of course but there's a lot of downtime like a lot of time there's a lot of time of him like alone in the bottom of a bowling alley no there's other people in the bottom of a... Bowling alley. No. No, there's other people in the bowling alley. No, when he's in that shaft and his leg's fucked up. Yeah, that's how it opens. I mean, that's actually not that long. It's so boring.

You just got to get past that. Takes forever. It's actually a great movie. No, he's just a weird dude. Like, why does he say, I'm going to drink your milkshake? Is he that into milkshakes? I feel like people like that movie because they're like,

I don't understand it. It must be great. Yeah, plus also, I think we've all wanted to beat somebody to death with a bowling pin. Oh, you got to do it, man. It's great. Oh, such a release.

I mean, the first couple blows, they feel it, and then when the skull caves in, it's like, mission accomplished. And in the case of Ari, bowling pin equals dick. Dick, yes. Penis. Alright, one more question

for you guys before we move on to the game portion of the show. Starting with Josh. It's Halloween time, so please recommend a scary movie. It? You asked me this last time, and for me,

the exorcism of Emily Rose just scares the shit out of me. Was that your answer the last time? Fucking shut up. Fucking shut up. Shut up. Yeah, yeah, for me You guys like that movie? Yeah. Great.

Yeah, you better step up and bring something new to my show when I invite you back. Well, maybe you should ask me a different fucking question. Have them do a Valentine's Day. I'll do mine. No, for me, like I said, anything with demons and all that shit, exorcism

just scares me. It's too much. Yeah. What's another movie that has that? The Exorcism. Did you just say The Exorcism? Exorcist. That's why I'm not good at this game, Doug. Please leave the stage.

The exorcist. The exorcism, comma, the exorcist. Colon, colon, colon, colon, colon. Yeah, that's it. Damn it. Graham? I would have to go with Magic, the movie that came out in the early 80s.

Anthony Hopkins plays a crazy ventriloquist, and the dummy goes nuts and makes him kill people. It's fucking creepy as shit. The TV commercials when that movie came out was the dummy just saying a poem that I don't even think rhymed. It was creepy as fuck. Yeah, that's a creepy thing, ventriloquist dummies. Because you know they're up to some shit.

You know Jeff Dunham's peanut has murdered a few people. And Grandpa, don't get me started. Jeff Dunham's peanut taught Ari how to kill somebody with a bowling pin. Ari, do you have a favorite scary movie, Ari? Yeah, The Bridges of Madison County. Do you have a favorite scary movie, Ari? Yeah, The Bridges of Madison County. These two old people have no other options but to fuck these other old people

and then they just have to live with each other forever. And it's just so real and so frightening. It could really happen to you, you know? And it's like, oh my god. I had to turn it off a few times. That's a movie to see in a black theater. You know what I mean?

Stop taking pictures and fuck her! Can I please have a dear stand-up live. Can I please have a... Dear Stand Up Live, can I please have another Tito's and soda? Thank you. Is everybody else good on drinks? Yeah, I'm good. Except for Ari.

He's not allowed to drink until October 31st at midnight. Do not pressure him! Yeah. No, October 31st at midnight. He's made it so far. Yeah, he's doing good. The first 30 days are the hardest.

They're not that hard when you know you're going to drink again. John Henson wrote me and he goes, how's it going? I'm like, it's terrible, man. It's fucking boring. He goes, well, don't worry. It's almost half over.

I'm like, that means it's not half over. This is like 10 days ago, 15 days ago. And then he goes, well, before you know it, it'll be done. I'm like, I know it now, and it's not done. Make that water a double, please. Al, are you sticking with it? No, no, no. Children of the Corn.

Ooh. I'll tell you why. Interesting. Because Malachi, I had to actually, I think when I was, I think I saw it when I was maybe a sophomore in high school, and I had to turn it off. I made my mom stop it. We had a VHS, and I made her stop.

And then we went back And we were just watching it in parts But that scared the fucking shit out of me Oh yeah and there was probably corn in it They were like we're a flower tortilla family Not corn Children are scary man Children are scary

Watch this Look how scary this is if imagine let me go to this one imagine i'm a kid okay and then like watch this and then okay josh pull this away pull this away holy you scared everybody. Scary dwarf. So we're talking about a kid with a giant male head. Like a huge... And a huge cock.

A cock that's just dark, grumpy, happy, scary. It's Martin Short and Clifford. Oh my God. Martin Short and Clifford's the greatest. By the way, we were, I'm working on this movie right now. We were all sitting around

talking about our favorite comedic performances of all time. Like just, and you record Eddie Murphy and Coming to America and playing all those characters that we were talking about.

But I really do think Clifford, Martin Short is one of the greatest comedic performances of all fucking time. Sounds like three people agree with you. Now, please find that. It's fantastic.

It's a weird-ass movie. And also, Charles Grodin gets a lot of the credit. Charles Grodin is amazing. Because he's so dry against Martin Short's weird-ass child. Playing the recorder. Fucking weird movie. Fantastic. Please check it out.

Alright, well that concludes the, you guys got through it. Nobody said anything controversial. And I feel good about that. So I'm going to say, turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin!

If we can get some house lights up, there's lots of great name tags. Lots of great ones. So everybody on the panel, pick who you want to play for. I'm going to the front. I'm going to the back. Go physically grab, yeah, go look around and physically grab

the name tag you want to play for. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Today's episode is brought to you in part by Stitcher Premium. Stitcher Premium is the only place you can listen to all 10 seasons of Doug Loves Movies. And it's the only place to stream all episodes of The Benson Interruption. And it's the only place to stream all episodes of The Benson Interruption. With Stitcher Premium, you also get exclusive access to more than 60 exclusive original podcasts from stars like Jemaine Clement, Issa Rae, and Marc Maron.

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We're back. Yeah, I thought so. Holy shit. I'm excited about these name tags. Let's start with Josh. The Josh Shank Redemption. That's a great movie. Yeah. So the person

you're playing for is named Josh. Yes. And your name is Josh. Correct. And is your face on there? No. Okay. But still.

Yeah. It's a piece of art. Like he drew the whole thing. I know. It's crazy. It's on a cool canvas. So yeah. Yeah.

There you go. He thought Jacob Siroff or Jeff Tate might be here, but no such luck. Yeah. He thought Jacob Siroff or Jeff Tate might be here, but no such luck. Graham, who are you playing for? Well, I had to go with Steve. He said he supported the earbuds Kickstarter.

Oh! Very sneaky. So... You had to choose that. I had to go with that because without this gentleman I wouldn't have a thing he put so much I mean he really went all in

for this one this is one of the most artistic signs I've ever seen there's two pieces of scotch tape that put the DVD so it's like that's the kind of care that this man put into as he wrote this while watching some TV thing.

And probably drinking some scotch. I think he was drinking scotch. Ari, you picked a name tag, but then also somebody convinced you to take their box of donuts? It wasn't hard to convince. I was like, take this box of donuts. And I was like, I don't know how this game works, but yeah, I'll take this game of donuts.

So you're playing for the person with all these candies. Yeah, not just that. Weed attached to it, too. Weed and candy? Weed, candy, some sort of edible. This guy went crazy. No, no, no, no. Whoever you are, thank you very much.

His name is Wayne Man. And I guess that's Wayne and that's Doug. See there, Wayne and Doug. Yeah, Wayne Man. There's a bunch of candies that mostly are melted from Wayne's, I assume Wayne's hand being like that for so long. And then on the back, it's... Don't say it.

Don't say it? Learning, learning, learning. Yeah, but it's 11. Don't say it. Learning, learning, learning. Yeah, but it's hard for me to remember things. And then somebody else. Is my microphone not working? No. I know where I went wrong. Oh, Doug Benson is doing magic, ladies and gentlemen.

Roll up your sleeves. Oh, that's when you magic, ladies and gentlemen. Roll up your sleeves. Oh, that's when you need a true TV shirt. Welcome to the world of illusion. I see you do that. It still feels a little not hot, but just give me a little more juice. And so that's Wayne you're playing for. Yeah, Wayne. And who are you playing for, Al? Courtney.

And it's no Courtney for old men. See how that works, guys? She should probably just carry that around with her when she goes to bars and stuff. Where's Courtney again? You picked it. Oh, all the way in the back. No, but I don't know how you got this fucking sign

that close. Because clearly you just walked up and did it, huh? All right. This is a great sign. That's a smart play. Yeah. So when do we get to start throwing donuts? Yeah.

Now-ish. Do I take a donut? Who wants Ari Shafir? All right, you, sir, right there. You have that. Everybody in this area, I'm going to try to hit that man. I'm a really good... You want it? You gonna catch it?

Yeah. I'm gonna put it right in your hand. Stand up against her. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guy in a burglar and a Hamburglar shirt. I'm sorry. Very clean.

Yeah, oh, shit. Sorry, nice lady. Sorry. Oh my god. Sorry. I'm so sorry. We've never thrown the box into the crowd before. That was a little aggressive.

I approve of so much of his behavior. I'm sorry. You can put your name tags down on the ground. Don't worry about the shithead on the back. What's that? Nothing. Okay. Congratulations.

I feel like an honor. Oh, yeah. Chuck that in there, too. I feel like an honor. Somebody wants a Reese's. Well, I feel like an honor at the ATC Fest. I should throw Reese's Pieces at that picture of Bobby Lee on the back wall. honor the ATC Fest, I should throw Reese's Pieces at that picture of Bobby Lee

on the back wall. You think you can hit it? No way. Lower your heads, this area. Lower your heads. Look how cutesy he looks. You gotta huck it sideways. Yeah, that's rough. Oh my god.

He'll never hit it. Line it up, Josh. Yeah, he got it! He got it! That's a score! Wow. Josh, Josh, Josh. Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh.

Wow. What a thrill. It's like Rudy Your lack of accomplishment Look at the poor staff members That have to go recover the Reese's You know people have scooped those up And they're just eating them right now The only thing worse

The second best thing to a Reese's is a floor Reese's. I think E.T. said that. This first game we're going to play... Oh, wait. Courtney, Wayne... What are the names of the people you're playing for? Johnny and Wayne. Steve.

I thought we didn't establish that yet, but I guess we did. So let's start with a little game called Live, Die, Repeat. I'm going to say the title of a motion picture and the first one of you to repeat back the full exact title

wins. I'm out. You say it and then we just say the exact same thing back to you? Yep. Wait. Only one of you can win, though. I have a question. Yeah, go ahead.

So you say it? Yeah, I'm asking the same question, yeah. I don't understand. If there's no trick here, you're going to say it, and then we just repeat it? Yep. I can do this one. If I had to guess, you're not going to win.

That's a safe guess. All right. And please don't help from the audience. Do we say our name and then say the title, or do we just scream the title? Just spit out the entire title correctly. Here we go. Don't. Don't.

Too soon, too soon. If it was just called don't, you just won. Fuck, okay. Can I make a guess? Is it don't be a man in South Central while you're drinking juice in the hood? That is correct. What the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck? Show him your dick. Show him your dick. That is crazy. your dick. Show them your dick. That is crazy. No dick. Always have sunblock on, guys. Always. Really?

Even when you're inside, it's important. There was an audience member that went, Fwa, fwa, fwa. Great job, Ari. Holy shit! That was impressive. In Jewish lore, first Sandy Koufax's no-hitter in the World Series, and now this.

Marlon Wayans, don't be a menace in South Central when you're drinking juice in the hood. Yeah. What'd you say? Don't? I'm like, hell yeah, man. That was fucking great. Alright. That was crazy. It wasn't that crazy.

Yeah. Alright, all he gets to go first in our next game. It's Last Man Stanton. Is it where we all just stand up and then whoever's... Stan's the longest wins. Yeah, yeah. It's a very long podcast.

No, I'm going to get from a predetermined audience member a name of an actor or actress. Everyone on stage, including myself, takes turns naming movies that person was in. If you can't think of one, you're out. But you have one lifeline, Ari. You can go to Wayne once. And Al can go to Courtney once.

And Josh and Graham each have a lifeline. So what do you do? Get an actor. We're going to get the name of an actor. And we have to name the movies that actor has been in in succession. Okay. Until we run out. Okay.

And I get a lifeline. Wayne's my lifeline. And then you can call him Wayne. Got it. I think you've got it. Okay. Start with the Wayans brothers. Where is...

Where is... it okay start with the wayans brothers where is where is from twitter someone named strable s-t-r-a-b-l-e where are you at i got thrown out no good thing i have a backup but also now i'm worried for that person who wrote to me on Twitter claiming they had a great name for today. Maybe they're coming to another show. Where is A.Z. Preston? Thank God you made it! Our good friend Strable is dead!

made it. Our good friend Strable is dead. Now AZ made a name tag with a bunch of faces on it and he tweeted it and I wrote to him and said, sorry dude, you didn't get any of the guests right. So of course that's why he didn't get picked.

But at least now, this is your consolation prize. This is your chance to shine in the world of podcasting. Here at the All Things Comedy Festival. What's your real name, AZ? AZ?

AZ Preston. AZ Preston's name is Preston. Yeah, it makes sense. And he lives in A.Z. Where do you live now? What is your suggestion for today? What's your suggestion, Preston?

Jeff Bridges. Jeff Bridges. That's always a great one. We've played him before, but so many awesome movies. Jeff Bridges. That's always a great one. We've played him before, but so many awesome movies. Which one's that? Jeff Bridges. He was in. Ha, ha, ha.

Do you really not know who that is? Which one's he? I mean, he's not in this one, but he's in another Coen Brothers movie. I sort of recognize him you could go to your lifeline right away which is an interesting strategy because then when you hear more names from the other

he's not in No Country for Old Men but it's not a bad clue which one does he look like Some Country for Old Men it hardly gets any bigger in the world of film acting than Jeff Bridges and you can't think of anything?

Was he in Different Strokes? The TV show? Yeah, when they made Different Strokes into a movie, yeah, he was the lead actor. Todd Bridges. Todd Bridges. Oh my God. Todd Bridges. So that's not the dumbest thing

I've ever heard cause at least it's Todd Bridges of the great Bridges acting clan oh clan that's not a good word but anyway oh you get to go first So do you want to go to your lifeline for now?

Yeah, I don't know what that thing looks like All right, so we'll go to Wayne Mann Who's Todd Bridges? Wayne Mann You don't have to describe Jeff Bridges But just say one movie that he was in Where's Wayne Mann at? There you go, he's saying Tron.

And Ari's going to go with that. Tron is correct. Yeah, Tron. Tron. Yes. He's in Tron. Graham? Let's go with...

So many to choose from. Iron Man. Yeah. Wait, what? Is he in Iron Man? Yeah man yeah yeah he's the bad guy in iron man he's bald in it josh big lebowski not big lebowski big lebowski yeah big lebowski oh that's jeff bridges full full title the very big lebowski he's got it less words words. The Big Lebowski. Yeah, okay. Yeah, no.

When you said the full title, I'm like, I think I just said it. So, yeah, Big Lebowski. Ready? All right. I'm going to go with Tron Legacy. Oh, no. Crazy Heart. Yes. Oh, I was thinking of that one.

Won the Oscar for that one. All right, we're back to you, Ari. Now, it seems like some good clues was thinking of that one. Won the Oscar for that one. Alright, we're back to you, Ari. Now, it seems like some good clues as to who that is. Yeah, I can picture his face now. What else have you seen him in? The movie that I last saw him in

was Raising Arizona. Okay, so Ari's out. Yeah. Make this. Yeah. Make this. Yeah. I like how you said it with so much confidence, though. Well, also,

playing to the Arizona crowd. Graham? Hell or High Water. Yes. Great movie. Well, I know it's the fabulous something. And I think it's...

All the movies he's made, you're focusing on the one you can't get right? That's the only one I can remember. Do you want to go to your lifeline? No. It's either boys or brothers. Fabulous Baker Boys. Yes.

Is that right? Yeah, that's right i don't think i've ever gotten too right in this game before it's twisted they thought about calling it the baker brothers but they wanted to play to the gay crowd yeah i got it boys all right oh sorry sorry ari it's my turn All right. Oh, sorry. Sorry, Ari. It's my turn. And for Jeff Bridges, I'm going to say The Last Picture Show. Yeah, I'll go deep.

I'll name a movie that was in black and white after when they didn't have to make movies in black and white anymore. Bill, didn't you do a special on black and white? Yeah, I fucking sorry for a second I was fucking going over my head like fucking IMDB rolling through my fucking head I did I did thanks Ari thanks for bringing that up and bringing me fucking out of my fucking Jeff Bridges thing. I was trying to remember all his fucking movies. Fucking Ari. Fucking Ari.

What do you got, Al? See, now I'm on the... Fuck, I'm doubting myself. You can go to Courtney. I'll go to Courtney right now. What do you got, Courtney? True Grit. Oh, yeah. I saw that one. Thanks, Courtney. God damn it. Yeah, that's a good one.

Alright, so it's my turn. I'm going to say... Hey, it's Graham's turn good one. Alright, so it's my turn. I'm going to say... Alright, sorry. Iron Man 2. What do you think he does in Iron Man 2? I'm pretty sure he gets killed in Iron Man 1. Yeah.

Even I know that. Even I know that, you fucking dummy. Do you want to? At the very beginning, when they go, previously on Iron Man. No. Yes. Yes, exactly.

Right? There is a flashback in the credits. I don't think they do that. In the opening credits, they flashback. Do you want to go to your lifeline? Yeah. He's out. Who's this fucking guy?

You already used his lifeline? No, I don't know what this mobe's talking about. You can do an incorrect guess and then go to your lifeline? Does that work? Well, I like to try to help people out that are going to lose anyway. But let's go to... Did you ever go to your lifeline? No, I never went to my lifeline.

Oh, okay. What does his lifeline got? Starman. Starman. Starman. There we go. So let me just see if I got this right. I can guess wrong and then go to my lifeline, right?

It seems that way. It seems that way. Well, I just... When I feel like you might be wrong, I like to give your lifeline a chance. It's sad when someone just loses without ever using their lifeline. I'm going to go straight to my lifeline. Josh. The Giver.

Huh? The Giver. That sounds dirty as fuck. Yeah, it does. Is that a real movie? The Giver? That's the worst title of all time. Yeah, The Giver.

The Giver starring Ari Shaffir. I guess The Giver. It's better than being The Getter. All right. I'll be The Giver. All right, so it's my turn now. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot. I'm not fucking around.

I'm here to win. Yeah, but you're also here to take fucking AZ Preston's suggestion well in advance and fucking brush up. I don't think it's fair. Where's the brush up part? AZ, did you tell me who you were going to say? He did not. AZ, did you tell me who you were going to say? He did not.

Fucking AZ. Fucking clearly. Give any information before this. Fucking Doug has the whole thing fucking rigged. Listen, if I brushed up, it wouldn't help me. All right. This is where I'm recording. I'm sorry I let you down.

I know what I know. He's only got long-term memory. Are you out? You done? No, I'm going to say something, but it's my number. No, you can't do that. Was he in fucking Tombstone? It wasn't in it.

Tombstone. Yeah. Tombstone. No. He's not in Tombstone. Sorry, Courtney. Ari, you're out, right? No, that's the sequel to Tombstone.

Tombstone. Tombstone. Tombstone. Tombstone. Tombstone. Yeah. Tombstone. Tombstone. So it's just Graham and Josh at this point? Graham?

Wait. If he gets this wrong, I win? I think so. Holy fuck. Just this game. There's still another game. I can think of a bunch of his movies, but I can't quite dial in the title.

So I'm going to go with The Confirmation. Josh wins! The Confirmation sounds like it could be a movie. Why is this guy so against the Confirmation? Josh never wins! Oh, okay. Josh never wins.

Is that a movie? The Confirmation sounds like it could be an actual movie. Yeah, it does. No, it's the one where he's the president, he's trying to confirm the vice president, and it's that girl. That's not what it's called. Shush, shush, shush.

But the original working title was the confirmation. The original script. Yeah, the original script. Graham read the original first draft of the script. I bought it on eBay, and I have it framed in autograph. Josh, do you have another one? Do I need another one?

Yeah. You still have your Lifeline, right? No, I don't have a... Okay. No, you still had the last correct answer, so you'd still be the winner. Yeah, I definitely don't have another one. All right. It's in theaters now, the Kingsman, the Golden Circle.

Oh, fuck. God damn it. I saw that piece of shit. What else did we miss all right what was that one all right PD with Ryan Reynolds against all odds I guess a lot yes you guys really like movies. There's lots of them. Wait, what's the one where he was the president? The Confirmation. What? Somebody's still yelling out Starman.

That's right. Fisher King. Oh, fuck, that's a good movie. K-Pax. K-Pax. That's what I was trying to think. That stupid movie with Kevin Spacey plays an alien that eats bananas whole. Fuck.

God, is that dumb. I know so many obscure things about a movie except the stupid title. Yeah, that's the most obscure thing of all. All right, so Josh Wolfe won that one game. Josh Wolfe. I've never won that game before. Feeling pretty good.

I like the chant, man. Josh, Josh, Josh. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Josh. Josh. But we have one more game to go. What do we got?

Yeah. Yeah, Josh. Don't get cocky. Because we're going to play Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game. Ronnie. Start with Josh. Because we're going to play Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game. Ronnie! Start with Josh, then we'll go to Graham, Ari, and then Al. And we'll rotate each round so everybody gets a chance to go first. What is this game?

I'm going to name an actor. Yeah. And then you each get to name a movie you think is in their top three all-time box office draws according to Box Office Mojo, adjusted for inflation. Okay.

It's some tricky shit. All not accurate, by the way. None of Box Office Mojo's information is accurate at all. So one of my good friends is the head of finance for a major studio. None of it's correct. Just zero. Don't even think about looking at that as an actual resource. Because it's all fucking lies put together by the fucking movie industry.

Studios try to inflate the fucking price or they try to like blow it up to make it think it's a popular movie that's like if somebody said don't trust these jeopardy answers they came from the dictionary let me tell you something about Webster. Webster fucking... Webster was a guy who fucking... All right. So, yeah. Like I said, it's according to Box Office Mojo. It's according to lies.com.

And we'll start with you, Josh. Give me a movie you think is in the top three of all the films that Thandie Newton is in. I don't even know who that is. Makes it easy for me to move on to Graham Elwood. So I'm going to say Jurassic Park.

Not a terrible guess. Thandie? Is she from Spain? Thandie Newton.? Fandy Newton. Fandy Newton. It's a lady. Is that a woman? I'll give you this because it's a TV show

and not a movie. She's in Westworld. She's one of the robots in Westworld. I'm still going to say Jurassic Park. She's a prostitute robot. Blackjack? Yeah. Well then let me take you back to Jurassic Park because there was no black people in that.

Yeah, Sam Jackson is in black. Also, Newman is in black. So I'll stick with Jurassic Park. It's true. Graham? Riddick. Isn't she in that Riddick movie? Chronicles of Riddick? Chronicles of Riddick. Isn't she in that Riddick movie? Chronicles of Riddick.

Chronicles of Riddick. Okay. Ari? Come on, man. I can't take it. Al just gave me one. I can't take that because that's definitely number one. Al just leaned over and told you one?

He was trying to remind me who she was. That's how you remind her? Saying a title of one of the movies she's in? That these liars box office mojo. We're friendly. I was trying to picture who she was, but that's going to be the winner, so I'm not going to take that. I have honor. They're laughing at the fact that you have honor.

Yeah, they're laughing at the fact that I have honor. These fucking guys. The fucking Welsh corner over there. Let me tell you about these fucking two douchebags in the fucking front. I'm talking to fucking... Fucking dou fucking front. Fucking douchebags. Fucking douchebags. He's going to hate. So you got nothing?

No, I do have one. What is it? Hold on. I'm trying to remember it. But I have one in mind. Hold on. Let me think for a second. Like 20 seconds.

That's a lot of time. I cannot remember the name of the movie I'm thinking of. What's the one where the girl was a columnist and it was a TV show and they made it into a movie? It was the four girls and they talked too fast. What? Sex and the City. Okay, Sex and the City, the movie?

Yeah. Okay. I thought she was in it, but who knows? Al, what do you got? Al, this is yours to win. Lose or win. Well, I know I can go absolutely for the win. Which one did you try to give him?

Avatar. She's not an avatar. That's why I gave it to him. You racist piece of shit an avatar. That's why I didn't give it to him. You racist piece of shit. Wow. That's why I gave it to him. I think you're thinking of Zoe Saldana. That's not mine. Hashtag Blue Lives Matter. You gave me a fake

one? Yeah. You motherfucker. Wow. Al Madrigal is so much for your fucking honor, huh? Holy shit. Mission Impossible. All right, so what do you say? Mission Impossible. All right, so coming in at number three,

The Pursuit of Happiness with Will Smith. Coming in at number two, Interview with the Vampire with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. And number one, Mission Impossible 2. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! What?

Oh! Oh! Oh, shit. Where the fuck is Chronicles of Riddick? Where's Chronicles of Riddick in that fucking list? That's what I want to know. Oh, it turns out it's not in that list. Oh!

I don't even know if she's in that. Yeah, she's like the high priestess or some shit in that movie what I want to know. Oh, it turns out it's not in that list. I don't even know if she's in that. Yeah, she's like the high priestess or some shit in that movie. I don't know. Alright, well, here we go. Round two. Starting with Graham Elwood. The films of Brad Pitt. I've heard of one of those.

Huh. What do you got, Graham? There's been a lot of movies. You know the titles. Just say one, and it's not The Mexican. I'm personally excited just to place in this one. I would say Ocean's Eleven. I'm personally excited just to place in this one. I would say... Ocean's Eleven.

Okay. Ari? I was going to say World War Z, but I'm going to change it to Ocean's Twelve. Had to make one up. Yeah, that's a good move. It's a really good move. Really good.

That's what I was going to say. Without a doubt, that's a great move. Al? I'm going to say World War Z doubt, that's a great move. Al? I'm going to say World War Z because it did surprisingly well at the box office. Yeah, it did all right. Hey, I'm going to say Ocean's 13th. Okay. All right, this is complicated.

I hope I can work this out. Coming in at number three, and good job noticing what I'm up to, interview with a vampire. Number two, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Oh.

Oh. At number one, Ocean's Eleven. Because I'm a cowboy. Sometimes you're on the road. All you do is think because I'm a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted.

Wanted. Dead or alive. Mr. and Mrs. Smith is still very good. I hope you don't get any more points. Alright, Ari, you get to start this round off. Sweet. The films of Kristen Dunst. Kristen Dunst? Kristen Dunst. Kirsten Dunst?

Kirsten Dunst. Isn't it Kirsten? What do you got? A lot of people in the audience have opinions. Kirsten Dunst. It's just between us up on stage. Kirsten Dunst. Was she the one in the election? That's a different one, right?

That's Reese Witherspoon? Yeah. Or Kirsten... Matthew Broderick. Oh, I know. I have a guess. Interview with a vampire. Nice! Good one!

Thank you. No idea who that bitch is. Al Madrigal? I'm going to say Bring It On. I'm going to say Spider-Man, motherfucker! Oh, I know who she is now. I know who she is now.

Grimm? Spider-Man 2. All right, coming in at number three, Spider-Man 3. The confidence level was so different walking up than walking back. Number two, Spider-Man 2. Oh, no.

So Graham's up to five points. And number one, Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh. Interview with a vampire is her number four. All right, I'll take that. I'm just happy she was in it.

She's happy. Unless there's a tie, this is our final round, and it determines today's winner. Al? I'm out. What do you mean you're out? Yeah, we can't win. No, you can still participate.

You may not win, but you know, you could tie for second. Oh, shit. Some candy just flew out into the crowd. The films of Antonio Banderas. Banderas. Banderas Banderas Spy Kids

I'm gonna have to go with the fucking Spy Kids don't be like Spy Kids Spy Kids Josh I'm gonna go with Interview with the Red Empire Spike kids Josh I'm gonna go with interview with a vampire

grab spy kids to full-time I think it's spike is to interview the vampire spike Spy Kids 2, still kidding. Spy Kids 2, Shark Boy and Lava Girl. Spy Kids 2, underage but fucking shit up. Should we just go on with that, Spy Kids 2? Yeah. Okay. Ari? Listen, you guys.

This is a lot of fun. It's great to have some fun and games, but it's time to get serious once in a while. Some real issues out there that we're not tackling. No. Movie Philadelphia. Yeah, it's serious, you guys. People are dying from AIDS. Enjoy your drinks, improv.

We're at stand-up live. Yep, give him a candy bar. That gets a candy bar. That should be your thing when you do stand-up. If a joke doesn't work, just throw candy. Throw candy out there, yeah. I love it. Al? You went first. Oh, you went first.

All right, great job, you guys. Coming in at number three, Shrek Forever After. Shrek? Number two, Shrek Forever After. Shrek. Number two, Shrek the Third. Number one, Shrek Two. Fuck. Number four, Interview with a Vampire.

That means Gravelwood is a winner! Because I'm a cowboy. On a seal horse I ride. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it.

I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it.

I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I walked these streets. I don't know if that's a great thing to bring to the show or a terrible thing. We'll see what the internet says. Well, Reddit can suck my fucking dick. I'll tell you that right now.

Show your face, Reddit. I'm showing mine, motherfucker. Take control. Yeah, I said it. Mark the fucking time code, Reddit. I'm showing mine, motherfucker. Take control. Yeah, I said it. Mark the fucking time code, bitch. GrahamElwood.com. Let's do some plugs. Josh Wolfe.

ComedianJoshWolfe.com for tour dates. I'll be in, what the fuck is that called? Mystic Lake Casino next week. And then the second week of November I'll be in Atlanta at the Punchline. The third week of November I will be at the Kansas City Improv. And I have a podcast with Freddie Prinze Jr. called Prince and the Wolf.

Check it out. That is nice. Let it ride. Graham Elwood. Earbuds the Podcasting Documentary is available on iTunes and Amazon And all that You can listen to my podcast Comedy Film Nerds

Which is on the All Things Comedy Network And then all my tour dates and everything Social media is at GrahamElwood.com What uh Where's the person you were playing for Oh Steve Where you at Steve Come get your prizes

Come get your shit, Steve. Steve got some shit. There's your sign, dude. There's your sign. Thanks, brother. And thanks for supporting the Kickstarter. Ari Shafir, sober till October 31st at midnight. Yep.

Ugh. Yeah. But also, what else is going on? I have a special on Netflix right now called Double Negative. Yeah, you can watch that with your stolen Netflix password. And yeah, I'm going on tour starting again in January. Atlanta and a bunch of other places. Boston and I don't know.

You know, the place is not here. If you're not here, go see Aria. And Al Magical? I have a special you can find and it's called Stripping It Easy that can be found on Showtime stuff and then I also have

I'm Dying Up Here. I'm not sure if anyone's watched that. Season two. Season two, we got that. Congratulations on that, dude. I'm in a movie that's, well, it's called Night School with Tiffany Haddish, Kevin Hart, Rob Riggle, Taron Killam. Is anybody good in it? That low budget. When's that come out? That comes out. We're actually still, we're filming that right now. That low budget. When's that come out?

That comes out, we're actually still filming that right now. Oh, okay. September, I think. This is your way of telling me you're not going to be back on my show soon. Never again. I get it. This No Courtney for Old Men doesn't have

a shithead on the back. Where's Courtney at? It opens up in the middle, dude. What's your shithead, Courtney? Bill Burr. There she is. All right. Do I have anything I want to plug?

I guess not. I didn't write anything down. You guys know where to go to find all my dates. Thanks to all of my guests. Josh Wolf, Graham Elwood, Ari Shafir, and Alan Magical. Thank you to Stand Up Live.

Thank you to All Things Comedy. Thank you to everyone that's here today. Thank you for supporting All Things Comedy. Appreciate it. And as always, Bill Burr is a shithead. What's that about,

calling me a shithead? Fuck you. You're the shithead. Jerry Jones is a shithead. Your impression of Bill Burr is to, is so, Fuck you, you're the shithead. Jerry Jones is a shithead? Your impression of Bill Burr is to grunge music what Seven Mary Three was to Nirvana. What's happening? What were they talking to you about, Graham?

They were asking me where I got my shirt, and it's from Steel Saunders. It has a podcast called Steel Wars, so we made this Yub Nub Bones Brigade shirt. It's fucking rad. I always support podcast bitches. So should you. I support people who don't call a bunch of random strangers bitches, but...

Is this on? Oh, there's a patio. Sorry. There's a patio we set up outside that has free beer, ping pong. It's true. I just said there's free beer. And they're going to show

Caddyshack out there. They're showing Caddyshack. Yeah, everyone's going to get laid. So there's... And there's. Yeah, everyone's going to get laid. So there's... And there's... Yeah, there's Cornhole. It's all set up for you guys. So that's for you guys to go and join.

Everyone's going to get Cornhole? Yep. You're all going to get Cornhole. All right. Thanks, Al. Thanks, Al. For the sound booth, here's the final shithead. The guy who introduced Trump's parents to each other.

Is a shithead! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!