Doug Loves Movies - Alamo Drafthouse Ritz

Episode Date: July 7, 2013

This mini ep features the opening moments from three Benson Movie Interruptions at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz in Austin, TX.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! and I miss you already, Austin. Always have a great time. You know, sidebar, my TV is on and the sound is down, but I'm watching that movie where Amanda Bynes dresses up as a boy so she can play soccer with the boys. I think it's called

I'm With The Boys. Don't bother contacting the corrections department about what the real title is. I don't give a shit. My point is that she's on my TV, and she's cute and likable and a good actress, and I don't know what the fuck happened. All I know is it wasn't just weed that happened to her. There's something else going on with that girl,

and I hope she figures it out and flies right. Yesterday and Saturday I did Benson Movie Interruptions of Too Fast, Too Furious, Hulk, and Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz with co-interrupters Charlie Hodge, Matt Bearden, Cameron Buchholz, Chris Kubis, Eric Krug, Brian Gutman, and for all three movies, Mr. Matt Myra, and I'll play the audio from the opening moments of all of those shows at the end of this info-packed mini-bone.

Tomorrow night, for free, Los Angeles, the Douglas Movies taping at 7 o'clock at the UCB Theater will feature the return of two recent Leonard Mullen Game winners, Pete Holmes and Sam the Man Levine, a.k.a. Little Wolverine. Pete won in Chicago. Sam's been dominating in Los Angeles. So I'm going to bring them together and see what happens.

Plus another surprise guest or two. Also tomorrow, my new CD called Gateway Doug will be available in the comedy album section of iTunes or at Douglovesmovies.com. Wednesday night, San Francisco. Celebrate 7-10 day with me with a late show at The Punchline. Thursday, 7-11, free Slurpee day.

Minneapolis, late night stand-up at Acme Comedy Club. And then Friday, 7-12, free Slurpee hangover day. I will be doing a Douglas Movies at the Varsity Theater at 8 o'clock with some terrific special guests I'm very excited about. Some people are flying in. It's going to be great.

Saturday night, Los Angeles, Graham Elwood is headlining the improv on Melrose, also known as the Melrose Improv, and I'll be doing a set and also standing in the parking lot after the show, so please join me. And on Sunday, Hook at CineFamily is sold out. It's going to be off the chain.

But later that night, I think there's still some tickets available for the Sunday night Largo on La Cienega Douglas Movie Super Tournament of Championships, 9 p.m., with Maddie Bronger, Sammy Levine, and Johnny Hamm. Go to largo-la.com and use discount code MOVIES for half-price tickets. Okay, sorry for all the plugs, but I got a lot of shit going on. A lot of shit that needs to be plugged. So now, here's the Benson movie interruptions in Austin.

And I'm coming soon to Kansas City, like August soon. Enjoy. Hey! Hey, everybody! Thank you so much for coming to what is a weekend of interruptions of films that were in theaters. People were suffering through these movies ten years ago to this very day. And today, of course, the Benson Movie Interruption will be Too Fast, Too Furious. Yeah.

They just tried to say, hey, we're gonna fucking it's gonna be too fast and too furious. And the audience responded, you know what? You were correct on both counts. And the franchise almost died. But thank goodness for a motion picture called Tokyo Dream. But you were correct on both counts, and the franchise almost died.

But thank goodness for a motion picture called Tokyo Dreadful. I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know the history of these movies very well. This one I vaguely remember, so I am excited to see it again on the big screen, the one I have been told and argued with people about, the only Vin Diesel, 100% Vin Diesel-free movie in the franchise, is what I, how I understand it. And I'm going to prove it by sitting through it right now. And like I always do for these movie interruptions, I like to get, you know, three of the finest and funniest people that I can to help me in making the movie.

Not necessarily tearing the movie apart, but just pointing out its flaws in a humorous way. And to help me do that today, are three of my favorites. Please welcome Matt Baird, Charlie Hodge, and Matt Myra. Here they come. Yeah, it's all the way from the back of the theater. The theater, of course, seats 2,000 people. And, yeah, thank you.

So just slide in there, grab that mic, and then sit in an appropriate chair. And you can go that way, too. And then, Matt, have a seat over this way here. You don't have to crawl under the thing. Wow. You're so fucking fast and furious, Doug. What a polite guest. Number two. That's Matt Meyer, everybody.

That's never bad. Load in special. Load in for disappearance. They fly me places to sarcastically make fun of better looking people. Well, by they, I think you mean me. And I'm grateful that you came here. And so I came to my point. But anyway.

I used the word reimbursed, but the great thing about reimbursing people is you have to remember to do it. And then I just go, oh shit, I forgot. But I will. And I'm serious, I will. But also, you're going to be here tomorrow. We're doing two movies tomorrow. And if you live through Hulk in the afternoon,

which I hope to do, how excited are you for the evening movie and why? I'm super excited for the evening movie which is Terminator 3, Rise of the Machines, because

a fat, skynet engineer named Chris Hardwick chews up some scenery, and then runs off set to drink more booze, and then goes back on set and says things. And I cannot wait to make fun of Chris Hardwick. If you look up Terminator 3 on IMDb, you'll see the premiere photos, and a very doughy Chris Hardwick is wearing a very shiny suit. It's really delightful. Shiny goes well with dopey, it really does. I really hate that. I had no idea. So you're going to have fun ripping into Hill.

And I came up with a fun idea. Normally texting is not allowed at the Howl Outlaw Draft House or any respectable cinema. But, during Rise of the Machines, I think when Chris Hartman appears on the screen, everyone in the audience should tweet at him directly. Like his

Twitter feed will just blow up with, I'm watching you! I can't wait. He'll be flattered and also probably a little scared. He likes to beg him back. His nerdy little brother, Peter Hardwick. He likes to snog him. But I have to remind him, no, you were a drunken mess.

That's so nice of you to be there. That's why his 13th set was being reminded of what a drunken mess he was. Then he replaced booze with work. I love you, Chris. Yeah, now he's a workaholic. Charlie Hotch is here, everybody. Yes, thank you. Charlie, what is up?

Hello. We're gonna be rubbing elbows, you and I. Are we? Do you decide to eucalyptus? I'm gonna ignore that question, because I'm excited about the? I'm going to ignore that question because I'm excited about the one I'm about to ask you, which is, where do you stand on the Fast and Furious franchise? Are you a fan? I watched the making of Fast and Furious, the new one.

Six. Six. It's just regular six. They make it fancy with the numbers and then I watched the last half of 5 recently so I've seen a making of and a half of 5 and I saw Triple X

with Vin Diesel the other day too that doesn't count at all that doesn't the spirit is there ok so maybe during that too fast too furious since it's Vin Diesel-free, maybe you can just say, for what's not a success, Triple X wouldn't have let that happen.

Triple X would have done, or Dominick, Dominick, Dominick, whatever his name is. Domino the British. Domino, dildo the dough. And Matt Baird would do it, everybody. Yay, Dom about it. Thank you. These two guys, of course, are

Austin radio comedian friends of mine, of which I have developed a few over the years, and some other folks will be joining for tomorrow's movies. Shh. Keep it a that you're here today.

Keep it a secret. Yeah, we totally keep it a secret. I'm going to just put it on the value of my own. It's going to be doing all three. But a little of that. But I absolutely guess. I didn't just drive here. You just drive over.

Yeah, I didn't get in my car. I had to actually go. Like local phenom, Matt Nairden. I walked here. Monday through Friday. Like local phenom Matt Airden. I want Airden. Monday through Friday. I want Matt to tell the audience what he decided to do this weekend. I decided to repaint my house in the next few years. Wait, you wanted to bring your boring lobby conversation to the...

I just think it's way too soon. The most exciting movie that starts with the two? Well, you know, it's the opposite of that. Superior is paint drying. But, no, I just find it amazing that he just decided, you know, the beginning of July is the best time in Austin, Texas to do anything. I don't make good decisions, man. If you want to pass out into some paint, this is the perfect time to do it. There's no painting even happening. Now I'm just scraping and thinking, what the fuck have I done?

That's what she said. That's not what's happening right now. You got into really good times with she said. Yeah. I hope he gets in more of them during the movie. Oh, he will. Don't talk about me. What?

Oh, yeah, that is you. Fist bump. Okay, so to warm up the crowd, I brought something. It wasn't this. This part wasn't a crowd warm-up. This was more of a sound check. And I think all our mics are not feeding back off of each other, right? C-shills. C-shills. Seashells. Sounds good. And Matt Barrett has never seen...

KLBJ is the right expression. I've never seen a single one of the Fast and Furious franchise. This is your... I still haven't seen any of the Die Hard movies. Which always makes you upset. Did you stab someone with this tiny pen? I don't know why people always get angry about it. It seems like people would be excited if they want to turn me on to things, but instead...

No way. We live in a culture now where people just like to go, BOOM! Instead of trying to be helpful and walk me across the goddamn street. You know what? Instead of scraping your house of paint, you could be in here just watching the die-hard movies. It's gotta be one. You could be watching one, and then just go ahead and watch one. That's how we won the war. That's how we won the war, was watching movies. If die-harding existed, the war

would have been over much faster. True. I don't know. You can't prove you're all assholes. You guys really win over this crowd by calling yourselves assholes, by telling your painting stories. crowd. All you assholes, all your painting stories. I don't know how you do it. Who's the cool one? The fist bump thing with

the mower and my tug. This is going to be... I think it's going to be a delightful experience and I don't think you need to know anything about the passengers, one, to understand this one. Other than maybe Paul Walker is a police officer who likes to drive fast cars.

The only thing I know about this is that the running time is 207 minutes, which seems a little more than you need. There is no way in hell that the running time is 207 minutes. That's great, isn't it? You know how long 207 minutes is? It's gotta be, uh, three and a half hours. 120 minutes is two hours. Right, so it's over three hours. Well over three hours.

That is not the case. Maybe you're thinking of Magnolia. I am so in the lead right now. You're thinking of something. Two cloud, two Atlas. Fizzbomb, Left side of the room. I hope you guys enjoy it. And stay tuned to the very end, because I think the credits are important.

Oh, and also we're going to show several of my five-second films. To really fire up the crowd. Hey, everybody! Hi, everyone. This is the Benson Movie Interruption, the rogue version, where I take movies to... This is one of the first cities that we've done it in, Austin, Texas, I should mention, and Alamo Draft House Ritz downtown. Thank you for coming to see Hulk. Not the Hulk. Not the Incredible Hulk.

Just Hulk. The most aptly named piece of garbage in the history of... No, Ang Lee is a very serious and most often successful filmmaker. Like, if Hulk had just been in a boat with a tiger, he might have had 14 made lovers to a cowboy in the mountains. Anything else but what he does in this movie, which includes fighting a giant poodle. Yes, it's true. The most dramatic

superhero movie of all time with the silliest fight sequence of all time. And we're going to do it, you guys. It's over two hours long. It's two hours and 20 minutes long. And the Benson movie interruption tradition is that we actually sit through the credits and

comment on those. So if you guys have had enough and you just want to get out of here, I will not be sad if I turn around after it's over and you're all gone. One thing I just want to point out before bringing my guest out to my co-interrupters, if you will, is that this movie, when it was being filmed, Nick Nolte got arrested for a DUI, and his mugshot was how he appears in this film, which is crazy shirt, crazy hair scientist, right? In the movie. And yet no one at the time said, oh, that's how he looks in the movie he's shooting right now. They all just

made him look like a complete lunatic. He's only half a lunatic because he, you know, got arrested for driving drunk and didn't take off his Hulk wig. But so that's a source of, I find that fascinating. And so does one of my guests, because I busted that news out to him last night and he was blown away by it while we were doing another podcast. A gentleman named Harbar Superstar was in town last night doing a show, and we did his podcast, and it's, what's it called? He'll know. Let me get

my guests out here. Please welcome Brian Gussman, Chris Cubis, and Matt Myra! Two local comedy phenoms And Matt Reimer I'm going to write something down In a second

I'm going to order some food here in a second Matt, you know it And you guys, something down right there Grab your microphones Matt Reimer ladies and gentlemen Say hi to everybody You folks were here with us yesterday Matt and Brian were late today on the set. Hi everybody. How are you? Good.

You folks were here with us yesterday for Too Fast, Too Furious. Too Fast, Too Furious, All The Way. Yeah, they forgot to put that in the title. To the director's cut. Yeah. That was just like why I think after that one they were just like, we gotta keep this franchise alive.

Fuck it, let's go to Tokyo. If you have ever watched too fast, too curious, just take notes if you want to make car chases look nice. They do a pretty good job of that. And everyone's talking to themselves. Anyway, we're here for the help. Yeah, there's a lot of dialogue. You can't watch a car driven by a single person

with nobody else in the car with them. They say a lot of things. Yeah, they've got a lot of dialogue in cars driven by single persons with nobody else in the car with them. They say a lot of things. Yeah, they got a lot of faces. It's kind of more like just watching people play video games by themselves. Oh, look out! Oh, I'll get your ass! Majority is more excited. What were you going to say?

I was going to say I was going to correct, because I accidentally referred to this as the Hulk. Yeah, don't fuck around, it's just Hulk. Like I said to people, I'm gonna interrupt the Hulk, and they go, which one? HULK! I'm just here to see Hulk fight plane. It's great! Fuck you, guys, we love you. It's got some great parts. Who here is a fan of this version of Hulk?

Don't raise your hand. Don't raise your hand because we can't see. It's dark in here. But somebody clap back there. Ang Lee's name? I'm calling you Jennifer Connelly. Good job with the landing. Hi, I'm John Denver. Chris Cubis is here, William. I'm not a jumper.

Chris Cubis is here, everybody. What did you interrupt with me before? Did we do something? Not interrupt with you before. First time. You've done some movies a couple times. I believe. You were on the recent Dallas episode.

Yes, I did. That was fun. Murdered. You murdered. That game, I rock that. Tournament of Champions. Second, that was fun. Murdered. You murdered it. That game, I rocked that. Tournament of Champions. Negative one and a win. You're in.

You're in. Yeah, you're in the tournament. Thanks for the ride. I'm reminded of you. I'm gonna see you in the tournament, motherfucker. I got by and gave Ridge a watch to slide. And where do you stand on Hulk? Have you seen it?

I've seen it. I tried to rewatch it when I was younger. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen Hulk? Have you seen it?

I've seen it, and I tried to rewatch it, but I found out I was interrupted, and I was like thirting in the thing, and I hadn't seen the Hulk yet, and I was like, this is going to be hard. This is going to be a rough one. But I think I got it. How do you think you got it? At some point he's going to get painted and green and then he'll break stuff. I don't know, there's not a lot of... Yeah, you didn't really need to do any research for this. I apologize.

You don't have to watch the movie first. In the events of Movie Interruption, it's all improvised. Sometimes it's pretty fun to have someone that hasn't seen the movie going, What is going on? Why is this happening? And Brian Gutman is here, everybody. Also, please come and vote for Peter and I. We're gonna browse into a frenzy, mostly because of his hat.

It's the Legend of Banger Vans wear. And, um, did you like Hulk? Sorry. It's a hard character to get in a movie, I feel like. But he's perfect. Maybe it's because he's not the whole movie, but in the Avengers, they did it perfect. Ruffalo was really good.

He had a sense of humor. He wasn't so serious. And also, he looked good on the screen. They actually nailed it. I mean, he looked like them. Yeah. That's on my gay lips. That's on my gay lips.

That's spit-free shit. Oh, wait, you mean Mark Ruffalo when he was normal? Or when he was Hulk? I just meant Mark. But yeah, and that's one upside to this version of Hulk. They'll never use the word Tesseract. But just as an extra bonus,

because I appreciate you guys paying here, it's a hot day outside, so I guess the air conditioning's nice, but still, you came indoors to nerd out on this what is clearly not a particularly good movie. And so I brought, as somewhat of a consolation prize, for the first 30 or so people who leave before it's over. For everyone who's angry, Matt's leaving

right now. For everyone who doesn't want to stay for the whole thing uh there's copies of a poster with my face on them it says slug life from my my last album and my new album gateway doug comes out on on tuesday now doug i just want to make sure you went to the trouble of not signing those posters right of course i went to the trouble of not signing any of them. It took a lot of effort. I love signing things. And I can really restrain myself to not sign all of these posters. But if you hang around in the alley on the back with one after, I'll sign it for you. Because that's where I'll be prepping for Terminator 3, Rise of the Machinists.

Yesterday, though, we saw a lady take a leak in the alley. She was not a lady. She was not a lady. I wasn't a lady, but she didn't even... no squatting. No pretense, just like, I'm just gonna stand here and pee. It was kind of a sexy pose except for the pee. There is an epilogue to that story. Did you run into her in the interview later? Ran into her maybe today, and she wanted a dollar.

She was wearing the same dress that she had on before. And all the smallest denomination I could find was a 10. So I gave her 10, that one. And then she ran away. You can't spoil our whole list like that! I didn't spoil the list! I gave a 20 to a couple, and I'm giving so much smoking money that all of this here. You're welcome. I'm keeping them here.

Listen, I'm from LA, we have plenty. But I gave $20 to a homeless couple, the clincher was that the guy was going to show me his wife's colostomy bag. You stopped him with the $20? I said, how about I give you $20 and we don't do that? You guys go get some pizza and maybe empty out the bag. If I were him, I would have been like, make it fourter, I'm showing you the bag. Alright, well people that don't give money to people with plastic bags are a shithead. Hey everybody, welcome to the Benson Movie Interruption!

Thank you to the P.I.B. movies, and we've shown two really stinky ones yesterday and today at the 420 matinee, so I hope everybody was good and blazed for those and had some laughs at the expense of some filmmaking not only doesn't hold up, but didn't hold up the second it came out. Like, Hulk is unreleasable in my opinion. It never was, but it's somewhere

ten years ago. But there was another movie ten years ago, in the summertime, that actually I remember pretty fondly. I think they did a good job. It's got a sexy robot in it. And, you know, Arnold Schwarzenegger has got a

funny robot who's not too bad. wasn't the young actor in this movie, hasn't he had troubles with the law? is he dead or something? What happened to that guy? He's dead? He's a junkie, okay. I like the way that guy, he's a junkie! Yeah, poor guy. So we'll have some fun with that today, every time he comes on screen. So we'll have some fun with that today. Every time he comes on screen. And if you haven't been to Events Movie Interruption,

the premise is that I sit in the front row with some friends of mine. We have microphones, and we just make jokes during the movie. It's completely improvised, and as you will find out, some of us have different experiences with the movie in the past. One of us may have not seen it at all. I haven't had a chance to ask everybody. So please give a big warm welcome to my co-interrupters, Eric Kroon, Karen Buckles, and Matt Byron.

There's been absolutely no learning curve on getting down here quicker. They just start from the very top and back of the theater. As soon as I say, sounds like I'm giving an intro, right? Let's talk to Matt first. Matt Meyer, everybody.

We're going to do this. You know what's funny? It's a big song. Junkie, Eddie Merlo. Junkie. Christian Bale. Probably going to be a junkie. It's the curse of the John Connor role.

Oh, okay. I just invented it. How's Michael Biehn doing? He's not John Connor. He's John Connor's dad. Okay. Fair enough. My logic is sound.

It is. I thought I was trying to go for more of the one actor in each film is cursed. But, you know, Michael Biehn's doing great. I just saw him the other day. As a trainer joke. Eric Krug is here, everybody. Local phenom. Fun times.

Love him. where do you stand on Terminator 3 sir it's wonderfully awful I've seen it before fucking it's wonderfully awful it's wonderfully awful okay

it's like it's basically just like the other two only it it's not good that's an interesting take on it very scholarly we don't have to you know that's an interesting take on it very scholarly

we don't have to you know that's part of the fun of this is we don't have to debate it during the movie whether it's good or bad we just make our jokes individually and see what happens but I love that you call it wonderfully awful because Hulk was not that it was just flat out

awful and Cameron Buchholz is here everybody another Hulk was not that. It was just flat out awful. And Cameron Buchholz is here, everybody. Another great local fan comic by way of Oklahoma City, where we just did our annual Doug Benson Day Show. Fantastic success. Super fun, yeah.

But next year I want to do a Douglas Movies there. Don't be jealous, Austin. I do them here all the time. Probably during Fantastic Fest in September. And for anyone listening to the podcast aspect of this, because I always record this part of the show, we're going to do some at the Alamo Draft House in Kansas City. I think in August we're going to do some of these.

Some more 10-year anniversary screenings. Because, you know, how old were you, Cameron, when this movie came out 10 years ago? I think I August we're going to do some of these, some more 10-year anniversary screenings. Because, you know, how old were you, Cameron, when this movie came out 10 years ago? I think I was 15. 15, and so you liked it. I enjoyed it when I was 15, yeah. So you just saw it with Dad, and you both probably enjoyed it.

Yeah, so here's your chance to, you know, realize how dumb you were when you were 15. I'm not fully aware of that. Or you could say I nailed it. You know. I was 10 years younger when I saw Hulk. But I was still old enough at that time to know how awful it was. Actually, all the way here, I was talking to my dad on the phone, and I told him where I was coming, and he was like, I'm watching that movie right now on the side by chair. So, they did this after doing it all the time.

Well, apologies, Andrew, when after doing it all the time. Well, apologies to everyone who paid to be here. I think you just watched it on the Side By Channel. The Star Wars taken out and commercials and... And the one thing I wanted to mention, Matt Myers was very excited about watching this movie again on the Play Screen because his cohort, coworker, boss, whatever you call him,

a little bit of everything, a little of all those things, co-worker, boss, whatever you call him. A little bit of everything. A little of all those things. Mr. Chris Hardwick is in this movie. He is. He's got a, doesn't he have like walking and talking scenes? Like isn't it like. A couple of walking dogs. Yeah.

It's like West Wing, but I'm talking about robots. It's a doughy Chris Hardwick. Yeah, he's doughy and it's, you know, a different guy than he is now, looks-wise or whatever, because he's cleaned up. Yeah. He's cleaned up his life and become a mogul. He's not very any-worded. He's an entertainment mogul.

You can't be fat and be, you know... What's funny is we're going to see this guy on the screen, this doughy guy, playing a big part in this movie, and then we're all going to be like, oh my god, he's technically an executive in Legendary Pictures now. He's, you know, we're both better than he was then. But I'll say this. When this movie came out, I'm much skinnier than I was when this movie came out. Well, that's a good point.

Yeah. We're talking about her. So when we have a request for you guys Matt and I I know that Alamo Drafthouse is not approved of texting Or tweeting during motion pictures But we're lifting that ban for this one screening So during

Whenever Chris Hardwick appears on screen Get into your Twitter account And type in At Nerdist And say something nice, something shitty. The point is just that I want to inundate his Twitter with 200 people commenting about a movie that he did 10 years ago. You want a hashtag? How about I order his hashtag in baseballs?

Who's in baseballs? Who? Who's inazeballs? Who? Who? Who? Who's amazeballs? So add one of this hashtag amazeballs. Go ahead and line it up

and type it in right now if you need to. And then just hit send as soon as you see Chris on the book. We'll be sure to point it out in case you don't notice it. And other than that...

I'm excited. I am too. We'll see what happens. It'll at least be fun to read later. It's like when you give a bunch of people your yearbook to sign, and then you don't wait. I mean, you wait, you open it up later when they're all gone, and then you see all the dicks on your faces.

I like to have a great summer when these dicks dry. Yeah. In you? That's a good drawing if they're drawing in you. Or you have a good imagination. A little bit. Okay. Please enjoy the Benson movie interruption of T3, colon.

Rise of the machines. colon rise of the machines now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie, eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky there's no room in his heart

for you, cause Doug loves movies