Doug Loves Movies - Alan Tudyk, Missi Pyle, Chris Williams, and Anna David Guest

Episode Date: February 16, 2012

Doug stages a mini-reunion for "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story," as he welcomes actors Alan Tudyk, Missi Pyle, and Chris Williams to the show, along with author Anna David. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seats with 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Loves Movies! Hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies This is Doug Loves Movies It would be weird if I said it that way Every time through the whole show You've been in a lot of movies UCB Theater

Los Angeles Tuesday February 14th Two Oceans 12 Gary Marshall Day A.K.A. Gary Marshall Day. A.K.A. Valentine's Day. Since last I spoke, you listened. I went to London

to appear on Morgan Spurlock's New Britannia, which should air in the UK sometime in the spring on the Sky Network here in LA. I don't know. Maybe someday. While I was there, I took in a few shows

in the West End, including Les Mis, Dependable, Matilda, Delightful, and Singing in the Rain, Deplorable. No, not really. It was okay. It was fun, but basically it was just watching a stage version of Singing in the Rain, but without Gene Kelly. So it was fun, but basically it was just like watching a stage version of Singing in the Rain,

but without Gene Kelly. So it was like, they're doing a good job of pretending to be them. All right, but this isn't Douglows Musicals. If you are listening to this on Friday morning, there still might be tickets available for the Douglows movies taping tonight at 7 o'clock at the Tom Lee Music Hall as part of the Vancouver Comedy Festival. That's right. The punks

could not run us out of the Tom Lee Music Hall. It's really happening there. So if you're listening to this in time to come, please do. Hey Chicago, April 29th, I'm taping Douglas Movies and it's sold out.

But if you bring a name tag to my Stand up show at Zany's on April 24th you could Play the Leonard Maltin game And possibly win a seat As a guest on Douglas Movies On April 29th Same deal with Nashville you can win a seat

For the May 28th taping Of Douglas Movies at Zany's if you come to a stand up show on May 26th or 27th have a cool name tag get chosen win the game wow that's a lot to go through but if you go through all that then you can win a seat for the

taping on May 28th now it's time to watch this not that fortunately Star Wars Episode I, the Phantom Menace, in 3D, didn't even land in the top two. Ha ha, fuck you guys.

So I wasn't even tempted to see it. Because every week I'm tempted to see the top two movies. Because I really want to bring you guys a Watch This, Not That that comes from a place of knowledge. But then sometimes I see the trailers or I read a little bit about it, and that's enough knowledge to let you know where I'm going to stand.

And that's certainly the case, again, this week. I forgot to say, fuck you, 3D. The number one movie in the country is The Vow, which I pledge to see someday on a plane and and the number two movie

is Safe House, no one has saved no one's house and so what I'm going to say here is unprecedented but I'm going to say see The Vow or Safe House, not Star Wars Phantom Tollbooth this has been, This, especially not that.

Hey, we've made this horrible movie. Let's release it again and add the horrible 3D thing that wasn't part of the original horrible production. Fuck. All right, let me bring down the anger with some happy announcements I will be joined by three special guests maybe more maybe one less

yeah I'm going to be joined by two to four guests for when I interrupt an award show can't say exactly which one but it's going to be at Cinefamily on Oscar Day. On the day that that is happening, I will be interrupting an awards show while everyone watches and enjoys it.

I think that's legally, I think that's how we can do it. It's a membership-only event at CineFamily, so now is a good time to become a member. CineFamily, so now's a good time to become a member. CineFamily.org Okay, as Jennifer Hudson might say, let's do this. The prize bag tonight has some amazing things in it. Some really fun things, like my first CD, Doug Benson, Professional

Humor Idiot. Thank you, golf applause. This is kind of a rarity that I decided to throw into the mix. A Doug Benson's Pot the Vote tour t-shirt. It's from a tour that already happened, but I still say Pot the Vote this year

in, I think, Missouri it might be on the ballot to legalize it. Washington State? California? Alright, what else did the guest bring? Now this one's a little misleading, so don't get too excited, Missouri it might be on the ballot to legalize it Washington State California all right what else did the guests bring now this one's a little misleading so don't get too excited by it but I do enjoy that it's part of the package and an arrested development t-shirt yeah the person that donated it was on that show briefly so don't be all like oh it's gonna be Portia Rossi we also have in the bag what is this cute little t-shirt this is a t-shirt that says

probably something adorable on it that's perfect for Valentine's Day it says I fell for me okay romantic oh and then a couple of books I believe written by me. Okay. That's romantic. Oh, and then a couple of books I believe written by this particular guest called Falling for Me and Party Girl and final item

that's going to be a little bit of a giveaway. DVD, unrated DVD of Dodgeball A True Underdog Story. Please welcome, we've got four chairs out here. Please welcome to the stage, Anna David, Alan Tudyk, Chris Williams,

and Missy Pyle. Hello. Everybody get some microphone. Alan? You look like you don't want to speak into it. You've already said one word, not into it. Is that weird for you to talk into a microphone as an actor? No, no, I can do this. I'm good. I'm good with a microphone. Awesome.

I went to Juilliard, and they taught me to speak in theaters, and theaters naturally yeah especially a 99 seat theater you don't really need these microphones nobody in here is like what but the home listener will really be what if we don't talk into the microphones

thank you Alan I'll be back to you in a second the story of how this panel came together starts with Anna David over there. Yeah, you are currently writing with Tom Sizemore. I am. Is his memoir?

It is his memoir. It is coming out in 2013. And he was going to come with me tonight, but a great guy. Not without his flaky qualities, I will say.

Well, but that's a, you know, as horrible qualities go, that's one of the better ones that he has now. Like he's moved on from terrible person to flaky person, which is not so terrible.

Okay, I have never seen the terrible side. All of him that I have seen is lovely and wonderful. The flakiness factor. Excuse me? Women's solidarity? It's Valentine's Day. That's why we

should be solid. So he was in, then he was out, so he was in then he was out then he was in and I just didn't want to like you know oh that's how a book is written I understand now

well he would have been you know I was strangely relieved when you were like Tom Sizemore probably is not going to do it I was strangely relieved

because as exciting as that prospect is, it's also terrifying to make a guy like that sit here and play my silly games and have a dumb conversation. I'm glad to bring you relief.

I would have gone through with it because that would have been fucking awesome. It's like when Michael Rooker was on. It was like, yeah. I didn't really look forward to it, but then once it was happening, I had a blast. But you just don't know which way that sort of thing is going to

go. Especially with someone who's in recovery talking to a person who's high out of his mind. It's an interesting mix. Also, I've been wife beaten. Wait, what've been wife-beaten. Wait, what? Is that what he did?

I don't even remember what he did. That's the horrible thing about our society now. Somebody's like, oh, that guy was fucking out of control. He did everything. Heidi Fleiss. Heidi Fleiss was his wife. And he beat her? Not the most reliable witness.

Oh, I see what you're saying. Look, wait for the book. You're saying she's a lying madam of fours. That's cool. I just said look for the witness. But that's great that you're writing the book. I'm very excited for you and we will try again if you want to try to get him to come

on the show again. I don't know if I want in on that. It's not worth the hassle for anybody. It would be awesomely weird, but it was also, you know, not meant to be. Instead, you said, I am friends with Alan Tudyk. And that's another...

That quadrupled my relief because I love Alan Tudyk and... I'm a pussy. No, no. No threat whatsoever. You've played a couple of badasses here and there. But yeah, you're a great actor. And so when she mentioned you, I was extremely excited to have you on.

And then I got a call from Missy Pyle's publicist. An email out of nowhere. It's really just my agent's assistant. Oh, okay. I got a message from some dude. Can't afford it. Saying that Missy wanted to promote the artist, which, you know, if you're a listener of the show,

you know I like the artist. So then, oh shit, that's when it hit me. Dodgeball reunion. Let's make it hit me dodgeball reunion let's make it happen Chris Williams and I follow each other on Twitter and so I was like we gotta get him on board and he said yes right away and I will say to you sir

perhaps the greatest guest role in the history of cable television your portrayal on Curb Your Enthusiasm of Crazy Eyes Killer! Crazy Eyes Killer said shut the fuck up to you!

And the audience I'm so proud of you audience member Motherfucker Do people Can you access that because people ask for it all the time? This is Chris. How Chris acts usually. I had to convince them that I was...

I know! I knew of you before I saw you in that role. I was like, that shit's a badass. I left my house with brown contacts on. It toughened me up. Scruffy with a tattoo on. I went outside the audition and went to a random secretary

and I was like yeah there could be enthusiasm around here and she was viscerally scared and I'm like okay it's working it's working so I went into the audition and I was like what's up motherfucker, yeah and I was

totally like, not me. And Larry, when I left, Larry was like, is he a rapper? Is he actually a rapper? I was like, David, Larry, you got two first names. That's a bad motherfucker with two first names. So anyway, so and then I, they, you fucking

bought it. So I sold it. I got, wait, so blue eyes are like more wimpy like you put in brown contacts you'd be amazed in a black man yes it's hard to be scared they go fall in love when they when they see a brother they go oh oh he's got blue eyes he's got some white in him so he won't really kill me he just may hurt me won't kill me is he a little that little. It's something in my history. Other than the thing.

So Missy Try Brown. I did just say I'm gonna try Brown. I didn't say it into my microphone. Just take that however you want to. What has Brown done for you lately?

Missy, I just want to say again about the artist that I not only enjoyed it, but I also thought while you were making it, did you think you were making something people would want to see? And then on top of that, like so much and award so much? I don't think anyone thought that. I mean, when I was told about it i was like a

silent i mean like what is that and so why would you do that why is someone doing it and it's like oh these are yeah exactly um and then is anybody gonna want to watch it especially like you know now when you have a movies like avatar and Dodgeball. Which I feel like, why would anyone want to watch a silent movie? So when I went and I did it, it was, you know, and my agent was like,

you know what, we're just going to forego the back end and just give you some money up front because who's ever going to watch this movie? And I was like, yeah, let's do that. And then I ran into one of their actors and he was like, yeah, I already got my first bump. And I was like, yeah, let's do that. And then I ran into one of their actors. He was like, yeah, I already got my first bump. And I was like, such an asshole. Her first bump means that they sent her cocaine?

Yes. They sent her a block of cocaine. But yeah, it's not going to be Avatar. You're not going to lose a ton of money. But it's doing as well as anyone could ever hope. Yes, I mean, it's not going to be Avatar. You're not going to lose a ton of money. But it's doing as well as anyone could ever hope. Yes, I mean, it's crazy. A silent movie would work now. Well, I decided to go to Cannes because we were going to Cannes.

And I was like, I've never been in a movie that anyone would want to watch at Cannes. So I'm going to go because I can. Sorry. How do you not when you can? So I went to Cannes. And we all walked down this crazy line of red carpets it was i mean i've like you know i've never seen anything like it just like thousands of photographers in tuxedos and we walked with the cast and i was like this is kind of a big fucking deal like like i just thought they were gonna i was like they're like missy come over here

and i was like well i'll just run down the red carpet she's like no you're all going together just stay right here. And they were really mean to me. Because I'd crashed it, kind of. And then I went. And then it was this crazy, fancy thing. Like a presidential, what do you call that? Inauguration.

Sorry. And then we watched the movie. And there was a 20-minute standing ovation. And I was like, holy shit. Because we all stood up kind of like this, and there were cameras on us, so for the first two minutes, it was kind of like awesome. But then it was like, God, this is really going on for a long time. This is uncomfortable.

And we started really being stupid, like tap dancing. We had to perform because we were so uncomfortable. But it went on for like 20 minutes. And then I was like, this must be something. They're like, that doesn't happen. I was like, oh, you know. Yeah, yeah. Was it hard memorizing your lines for the audition?

It really was. Actually, it's funny because I didn't have any lines. And then one day at lunch, the director, Michelle Hasenvisius, says, Missy, we're going to do the scene where you audition for Romeo and Juliet. So maybe just do the Juliet monologue. And I was like, this is a fucking silent movie and I have an hour to learn Shakespeare. Like, what the fuck?

It was pretty funny. Well, you learned how to pronounce Havanissius. That's pretty impressive. It's taken me like 95 times. Did I get it right? Yeah. Havanissius? Yeah.

No way. Literally, people are like, and what's the director's name? And right? Yeah. Havanissius? Yeah. No way. Literally. People are like, and what's the director's name? And I'm like, Havanissius. Havanissius. Well, because that's going to be

their scouring Los Angeles and probably the world looking for actors to present on the Academy Awards that will be able to not fumble Havanissius. That's going to be a tough one. Havanissius. That's how you do it.

See, I'm already blowing it. I thought I knew it. They probably won't ask you. I don't think so. I think I'm safe. Now, Alan, Leonard Moulton sat right here in that very seat that you're in right now.

My man. Do you know this already? Do a fan he is of Tucker and Dale versus Evil? I've heard that. But Leonard Maltin and I go back before that. Because why? Why was he already a fan? He was a fan of Death at a Funeral because he has a show called Secrets Out. Thank you very much. The first death at a funeral.

Not that other. Abomination. Not the black version. That's what you're trying to say. Death at a motherfucking funeral. Yeah, exactly. That was the second one. Yeah, no brown contacts on ours. It was all blue eyes.

No, he was a fan of that. He has a show called Secrets Out on Reels with the Z Channel. And so I went and saw him because he was letting the secret out that they did a shitty job marketing that movie and you should check it out. And I met him and he was very nice

and then he got sick. Or he went on vacation. Or he got sick on vacation. I can't remember exactly what happened. But I got to do his show. I got to host his show one time. You hosted Leonard Maltin's show on Reels? Secrets Out.

And I ran into him just over down in Franklin there. And he said he hasn't taken, he hasn't taken a vacation since. I don't know. Not gonna let that happen again. I never really thought about it. I'm Leonard Maltin, damn it. Are you the only person who's ever done that? No, they had other people doing it, but I think I did an okay job.

You nailed it? I did. I changed all my lines that I was like, Leonard Maltin and I are roommates. I had this whole thing that we were roommates. You draw a line through the room and say, don't touch my stuff.

Yeah, we were good friends and I'm always filling in for him and he's a cut-up. What was your secret that you let out? What was the movie that you said people should know about?

Slither. Slither was the movie. Oh, nice. I was a fanither was the oh and then I have my buddy Nathan Fillion come on and I interviewed him and that was a lot of fun because they let me interview they had me go review movies but I couldn't like bottle shock go review bottle shock so I went to go review bottle shock was cool I got to sit in with reviewers and they go in these weird screening rooms and they all wear a lot of makeup and a lot of perfume in the middle of the day to do this, and they

look at me like, what the fuck is he doing here? How did he get a pass in here? And I watch it, and I'm like, well, I like certain parts of it. I can't... Leonard, I can't review it. I can't put down my fellow actors. I can't trash a director, because you never know. Yeah, that makes sense. So I just did DVD it I can't put down my fellow actors I can't trash a director because you never know

yeah no that makes sense so I just did DVDs I liked and I let that secret out I'd watch that that's a good show did you see

50-50 it's out on DVD now no I haven't seen that dude please do what is it do yourself a favor 50-50 is Seth Rogen

and oh yeah yeah got nominated for a bunch of stuff not Academy Awards which I'm pissed about Please do. What is it? Do yourself a favor. 50-50 is Seth Rogen and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oh, yeah, yeah. Got nominated for a bunch of stuff. Not Academy Awards, which I'm pissed about. So that's why I'm bringing it up. Golden Globe, didn't it? Yeah, got nominated for a screenplay for Golden Globe and some other things. But it deserved a lot more.

I mean, it's no artist. They talk in it. Oh, all right. They stand around. Oh, I've got cancer. At least in the artist, they're like, dancing. They're dancing. Cancer wasn't at least in the artists they're like dancing they're dancing cancer wasn't

invented yet in the artists right back in the black and white times they didn't have cancer they just had oh he's dead guy's dead

gotta look into that so did I talk to everybody Chris have you been to the cinema recently

what have I seen yes I've seen I've been DVDing the screen. Hey, it's a microphone. See, I was just mumbling the first part, too. Anyway, I've been watching DVDs, a lot of DVDs. Yeah, so what's your number one favorite? My favorite movie, besides the artist, Drive.

Drive. People love Drive the artist, Drive. Drive. People love Drive. Love Drive. Albert Brooks got snubbed by the Oscars. Totally. He could have won. He should have won. Don't you think that if they didn't do that fork in the eye, maybe he would have, that

that was a little bit gratuitous and strange? That was such an odd, unnecessary. When you say it's gratuitous and strange and unnecessary, you mean I would like to work with all of those people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying that in an abstract... In an abstract way. Strangely brilliant is what you meant. You're right, you're right.

That's totally what you meant. Anna, have you been to the cinema lately? You know, I feel like I've been renting... Beginners. I just flipped out over beginners. That's really good, right? Oh, my God. Christopher Plummer seems a lock for the... He better be. I'll tell you beginners I just flipped out over beginners that's really good right oh my god Christopher Plummer

seems a lock for the he's the he better be he's sort of a lead in it right he's not really a supporting actor

he's a lead and he's old and super famous and great and plays a gay dude like what how can you vote against him

he loves a gay dude yeah and an old gay dude who dies who dies who dies what wait a second He loves a gay dude. Yeah. And an old gay dude? Yeah. Who dies. What? Wait a second. Why is it called endings?

Enders. Why is it called enders? And his speech at the Golden Globes was so beautiful. You cried, Doug? I didn't cry at that, but I think he's a good speech maker. I like him. He's done a lot of great work, so good for him. That's what I say.

But I say now, in front of all of y'alls, that as much as I enjoy George Clooney and most of what he does, Jean Desjardins from The Artist should win Best Actor. Has anybody seen it? Raise your hand if you've seen it.

They're clapping for something they haven't seen it anywhere in the world and I think a lot of people like what that you know well it's a it's a novelty yeah people have to psych themselves up like when I went I honestly went in like okay here we go you know but it still seemed more fun than War Horse. It still seemed like it would be more enjoyable and extremely close and incredibly loud. It still seemed like most of the other things that have been nominated, I've been not afraid to see,

but just feel like it's homework or like you're being punished. So at least the artists, I thought, well, there's going to be some happy dancing in it and a cute little dog. And he really is unbelievable, this guy, Jean Dujardin. I mean, he's one of the best. I think you said it the best, Alan.

You said he's a buffoon, but he's also really sexy, so he's like a sexy buffoon. Nice ass. The character is sort of like Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain, and he does a good job of being like

Gene Kelly which is but that's the other amazing thing about your performance and most of the people in the movie all the people in the movie is how they captured the time so well and that must have been like not to give you an insanely great compliment but that must have been like the work was all on you

you kind of had to show up and be that for that guy that doesn't speak your language who has that crazy last name to be able to direct you doing it I think I pronounced it wrong yeah I mean I will say just say yeah oh I didn't say say it's sexy

but now that you have now that you have I'm in and can I just appeal to the nerds in the crowd really quickly? Galaxy Quest. Now let me do another one. Suburgatory. Yeah, suburgatory.

I just wanted to say suburgatory. I just wanted to say it wrong because it's hard to every time I think about watching it, I think I can't even say it. But I it's hard to... Every time I think about watching it, I think, I can't even say it. But I have watched it. You have watched it. Yes, yes. And I just, in fact, just saw an episode on a plane.

Really? With you in it, knowing that you were going to be on the show. We're on the plane? I'm sitting there going, what am I going to say to compliment him about this performance? And I thought, you know what? Just make it all about missing. No, but yeah, you're great in everything that you're in.

You're the fucking pirate in dodgeball. Yeah, yeah. How do you get that part? How do you walk in and did you have to walk in and say the receptionist's pirate talk? I knew exactly the moment that he nailed it. We did like four or five different groups of dodgeball people. And in his audition his role has no lines he doesn't say anything but there's one part exactly there was one part we did the whole thing and at the end he went ah and i was like there you go that's when i

knew you had it yeah i mean we did some stuff there was i kept trying to button the scene had it. Yeah, we did some stuff. There was, I kept trying to button the scene. Like, we'll harvest whales for oil. Stupid pirate shit. Let me ask you this though, what's your favorite movie rating?

Rating? Yeah, yeah, you know, PG-13, X. R. R. Oh! God damn it! X R So we play a game or two? Let's play a game or two. That was amazing.

Did you see that either? This is called Build a Title. I'm sure you're all terribly confused already. It's just for fun. Low stakes. We'll start with Anna because she's heard the podcast the most. Oh, yeah, she has.

The most. But then we'll go in your direction now. We'll go to Chris and then Alan and then to Missy. Is it easier if you start first? Usually, yeah. I like this. Go ahead. Because I only pick titles where there's something you can build off of each end, but maybe pretty obscure, weird stuff.

But Half a Canyon, I don't know what that means, Half a Canyon, but that's their name on Twitter. They suggested, because it's Valentine's Day, Blue Valentine. So you need a movie that ends in blue or begins with Valentine. Oh, well well how about Valentine's Day The Gary Marshall movie Yeah that's perfect

You did it Now we move on to Chris You need a movie that ends in blue Or begins with day Day of the Condor Yeah What do you mean what Day of the Condor. Yeah. What? What do you mean, what? Day of the Condor?

Oh, wait a second. Isn't it a certain number of days of the Condor? Oh, dude. But that was, I felt it. I liked it. I think I allowed it one other time, and I was wrong, too. I learned my lesson. Starts with day or ends with what?

You're in luck, Alex. Starts with day or ends with blue. Blue. Blue. Blue. Blue velvet. All right, you're out. Your crazy eyes are out. Alan, what do you think?

Ends in blue or begins with day? I'm going to do days of thunder. Ooh. That totally works. No, wait, it's three days of thunder. Boo! All right, good work Missy Has to begin with thunder

Or end With blue No Because it's Valentine's Day Valentine's Day Of thunder Road Thunder Road Days of Thunder. How many? Road.

Thunder Road. I don't think that's a movie. It's a song. Bruce Springsteen song. Yeah. That sounds like a great movie. Yeah, I'd see that movie. It needs to be made. Isn't that like Patrick Swayze

movie or something? What was that? Roadhouse. That was Roadhouse. Thunder Roadhouse. Thunder Roadhouse. Hers doesn't count. All right, Anna, where are you at?

So what does that mean I do? It has to end in blue or begin with thunder. Okay. End in blue. Oh, shit. If you can't think of anything, Alan will be our winner. No, I can't allow that. And nothing special will have been achieved.

No, you did good. Thank you. You're welcome. Hold on, hold on. Use your microphone. Thank you. There's Blue in the Face is like a Wayne Wang movie, but it is. Blue in the face?

It's a movie. But it has to end in blue. It doesn't end in blue. Baby Blue. Baby Blue. Audience, you're right. There's no way there's a thing called Baby Blue. There is.

There's a cartoon called Baby Blues. That wouldn't work anyway, right? I was thinking of the Big Blue would be a movie that ends in blue. Deep Blue. Great examples. Alan's our winner, everybody. Congratulations, Alan. You did it.

That took so little effort and so little skill. That means you get to go first in the Leonard Mullen game. But before we play the Leonard Mullen game, everybody on the panel, please go choose from the audience. Let's see those name tags, everybody. Oh, God. Where are they? Here they come.

People have to shuffle through bags to find them. Okay, look, when you're on the podcast, you don't know what these things look like. Yeah, I know. People bring crazy. What's that a bottle of over there? Maker's Mark, isn't it? Maker's Mark.

And your name is Maker? There's no Maker's Mark in it, is there? It's an empty bottle? Oh, it's unopened. So the first one to grab that gets a free bottle of Maker's Mark. Not an ad. And yeah, so anybody in the audience, just get up from your seats and go out and select

who you'd like to play for. And then bring it back to your seat. Just anything that speaks to you. Missy's fast on the move. She's making a beeline. Jordan's in the front row with his baseball, holding it weirdly. Because I think I told him he couldn't play again.

Oh, Alan's got some sort of crazy Mars Attacks character. Isn't that the noise they made? Something like that? Very quacky sound. Joe. That's amazing.

Joe brought that in. Good work, Joe. Here, let's see that. Oh, that looks like a nice one. Oh, you got the Maker's Mark. All right. Somebody had to get that, yeah. So, Allitude X is playing for Joe. What?

Martian from Mars Attacks. And then Chris Williams is playing for Maker's Mark. And Anna's playing for... Somebody took the poster for Dick, starring Michelle Williams and Kirsten Dunst and changed it to Rick. Clever. So I assume his name is Rick. I'm going to assume. Yeah.

And who are you playing for, Missy? I am playing for Jesse Phillip Solomon, who gave me his Ident-A-Kid Services of America identity card. Wow. What can you get with that identity card? Is that his? I think you get a kid, right? That's how you, it's an adoption card.

So this, if I, when I get a baby, or I get this kid. It's like, so you don't get lost. Oh. They give us those. I thought I was

going to get a baby. All right, I'm not even going to repeat what you were saying. The listeners at home don't need that. The trauma from whatever that was you were trying to explain. I don't know if you were traumatized or were traumatizing others, but either way, it's creepy that you're out of school and you're lost.

I need to say that in this Leonard Maltin game, the first category was suggested via email by Bill B., who wrote, I started listening to podcasts a few years ago in Stuttgart, Germany. That's where he's stationed in the Army. So this particular category goes out to the troops, and this one in particular named Bill B. I don't know why he was so...

Is that B-E-E? Or just... He's like... The initial B. He's just like, I've told you too much. He also told me his rank and his serial number. And he suggested a category. It's a good idea for a category. Here's Johnny

which is... And Alan, you get to choose first and then we'll go to... We'll go to... We'll go to, we'll go across, straight across to Chris and Anna, then Missy. You get to pick between, Bill B's suggestion was Here's Johnny, which is films in which one of the characters does an impression of Jack Nicholson, for whatever reason. Nice. Yeah, it's happened in a few movies, I guess.

But then I'm going to have to guess the movie, aren't I? Eventually, yes. Keep that in mind. That's one category. You get two more, and we are on a time limit here. Okay, good. The show has to end in four minutes. Oh, gee.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Nine minutes. Okay. Or, at Arabra Arabra she suggested Iron Lady, which is films that have a female robot in them. Or, one more category, at Penis

underscore Slap suggested suggested Gwyneth Paltrow that's movies where Gwyneth Paltrow that's movies where Gwyneth Paltrow dies. So which one of those do you think you'd be able to ace? I want to do Gwyneth Paltrow.

Okay. Now this is a very lucky category you chose because there's actually two movies that I came up with that meets that criteria. And you get to pick the year. Would you like from 2003 or 2010? A movie where

it's about your time. 2003, please. You got it. This movie got three stars from Leonard Maltin. He calls it incisive. And he also says that it... What else did he say about it? Leonard, talk to me.

Talk to me, Leonard. He says that she plays an American. That Gwyneth Paltrow plays an American. That's a bit of a clue. And it's incisive. And he lists six names So how many names do you think you can get it in? Alan

You start the bidding I honestly can only think I can only think of one Gwyneth Paltrow movie that I thought she died in And I'm realizing now she didn't die in that movie Oh We all wanted her to die In Shakespeare in Love.

Right. Right. But you don't want to say too much. You don't want to give away too much to your fellow competitors that you're not sure what movie it is. Right, right, right. So just bid big if you want to go out strong.

How many names are there? You can bid six if you want. That'd be like you get to hear the whole cast. I'm going to go four names. All right. No, three names. Oh. Three names.

Okay. Three names. All right. Joe. I can't believe you're doing that to Crazy Blue Eyes. Jesus, God. What do you think, Chris? You can bid lower,

you could say name that movie. If you say name it and he doesn't, you get a point. Name it. If you bid lower... Oh, now I have to name it? Oh, I get three names now.

You get the names, yeah. All right. Give it to me. All right, here's your three names. Yeah, yeah. Amira Kesar. Oh, shit. I don, here's your three names. Yeah, yeah. Amira Kesar. Oh, shit. I don't know how to say them.

But this one you might know. Michael Gambon. Gambon. Michael Gambon. Yeah, I don't know that one. The sleeping detective. Or Blythe Danner is your third name. Her mother.

Hmm. So you're familiar with her. Did you fuck her? She was in those, right? I checked out at the third into the first. You guys weren't in any of those, were you? The fuckers? Okay, good.

From 2003? Who's watching movies in 2003? It was a shitty year. From 2000, 2003? Mm-hmm. Who's watching movies in 2003? I know, it was really... It was a shitty year. It was just silent films that just ended. I'm gonna go... With the advent of sound, they didn't have it down quite yet.

Why would they kill Gwyneth Paltrow? Yeah. What do you got, nothing? I got... Name a movie. Sliding Doors. That's a good one. I mean, to name that's not correct.

Turns out she definitely died when she played the tragic suicidal poetess named Sylvia Plath. Sylvia. Boring. That's not that shit. I'm sorry. I'll try not to choose any more boring movies.

Thank you. I forgot to narrow it down to just the exciting ones. You can't blame me for that, Joe. Chris Williams gets a point, everybody. Mark, Mark. Thanks. All right, we'll start with Anna, and then we'll go to Missy. Anna gets to pick a category.

Would you like Dude, Where's My Sklar? That was suggested by Abby Monster and that is movies that feature one or more of the Sklar brothers. Of which there are two that I'm aware of. Or would you like Blue Valentine? That category is movies that have either

the word blue or the word valentine in them. Oh, I'm liking that one. Or, celebrating a birthday today, the friend of the show, Simon Pegg, is 42 years old today. So, the films of Simon Pegg would be your third option. Okay, I thought I was going to go Blue Valentine. I'm actually going to wing it here and go Simon Pegg.

Yeah. Friend of the show. Let's do it, yeah. Good guy. He's going to wing it here and go Simon Pegg. Yeah. Friend of the show. Let's do it. Yeah. Good guy. He's going to be on again someday. Three stars for this movie featuring Simon Pegg in some capacity from 2006. Leonard Maltin says this movie was co-produced by one of the actors in it.

And he also calls it Slam Bang. 2006, three stars, Slam Bang. Can I ask one question? And no questions are allowed. I mean, you could ask one, but I'm probably not going to answer it. Is Slam Bang a compliment?

I don't know. From Leonard Maltin? It could go either way. Slam Bang could be... Do you know who Leonard Maltin? It could go either way. Slam Bang could be... You know Leonard Maltin? I mean, do you have it? Like, let's say you were describing a man's lovemaking skills.

Would that be a compliment? Like bow ties and stuff. I mean, very trim beard. For him to say, Slam Bang. That's good. All right. Okay, okay.

Too much discussion. I'm a roommate, sorry. There's 11 names. and it's from 2006. How many names do you think you get it in, Anna David? Well, I'm going to say five. Wow. Fair enough. Missy?

So, wait, if I say name that movie to her, does that mean that I know the movie? She gets to name all five? No, she gets to hear all five names, and then if she names it, she gets the point. But if she fails, then you'll get the point. I'm going to say name it. For making her do it. Wow, okay. Here's your five names.

I think, I don't know, maybe. I like your faith in me. Eddie Marzan, Simon Pegg, Lawrence Fishburne Maggie Q and Carrie Russell are the five names from this 2006 slam bang good luck co-produced by

one of the stars okay three stars from Leonard any idea? I have an idea okay my idea is Hot Fuzz what?

Simon wouldn't be that lowly Billed in Hot Fuzz And Lawrence Fishburne was definitely not There were no black people in Hot Fuzz But there was a scene in Hot Fuzz Where Carrie Russell cut her hair She got arrested for it The rest of the names are

Jonathan Rhys-Myers, Michelle Monaghan Billy Crudup Ving Rhames, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Tom Cruise, Mission Impossible, Trio. That's your point. I should have gone Blue Valentine. Missy gets a point, everybody. All right, so let's start with Chris, and then we'll go to Alan.

Chris gets to pick a category. Would you like the number one movie 10 years ago today? It's the King of Pancakes category. 10 years ago today, the number one movie in the country. Or would you like a movie with four letters in the title, like SWAT or Paul, starring Simon Pegg, or Milk? the title like SWAT or Paul starring Simon Pegg or Milk or

Thar She Blows, movies that feature some sort of blowjob sequence. Really? For lack of a better way to put it. A blowjob sequence? Thar She Blows. A scene or scenes involving

oral sex on a man's unit. Wow. How can I not take that, though? I don't know. Ten years ago today, you might have an idea. Yes, I do,

but the category is so beautiful. Take the blowjob. Take the blowjob. It's Valentine's Day. Take the blowjob. Yeah, exactly. You can never turn down a blowjob, so let me go.

But what rating do you automatically get when there's a blowjob scene? Arr. Oh, Jesus. This movie featuring a blowjob sequence or moment is from 1982. Four stars from Leonard. He calls it dazzling.

That sounds like Leonard. Dazzling, but then in parentheses, if somewhat loose. 1982. And there are... This is going to be so confusing to everyone. There are ten names. How many names do you think you can get it in?

Chris Williams. 1982. 1982. I think you can get it in? Chris Williams 1982 I think I can get it in Five He says five names 1982 I can get it in five Alan

I can get it in five What do you think of that? Now I get to say? Now? Yeah you can say name it Name it Oh shit Name it in five. What do you think of that? Now, I get to say? Now? Yeah, you can say name it. Name it. Oh, shit. Name it in five.

All right. This is for the win, Chris Williams. I see, I see. You're taking down the whole game if you get this right. It's over if he does it? It's over if he gets it. What about me?

I have a point. You had a chance at one point. 1982. Fallatio. Dazzling. Has a blowjob scene in it. 1982 fellatio dazzling has a blowjob scene in it and your five

five names are yes Brandon Maggart okay oh okay Brandon yeah what's up Brandon you can give me the other four

that's fine give me the other four but Brandon I know Brandon Warren Berlinger could you say You can give me the other four. That's fine. Give me the other four. But Brandon, I know Brandon. Warren Berlinger. Could you say if one of them is the one

receiving the blowjob or if one of them is the one getting the blowjob? Exactly. Was it Berlinger? I don't think the receiver,

he might have been, yeah, he might have been the receiver, but I'm not sure. I don't know who those actors are, Brandon Maggard

or Warren Berlinger. But I do know the next three actresses, and none of them are the ones giving the blowjob. And they are Amanda Plummer, Swoosie Kurtz, and Jessica Tandy. Wow. We all have a picture of Jessica Tandy giving a blowjob. Yeah, yeah. So it's not cocoon. Hugh Cronin.

From 1982. Four stars. Oh my God, with the blowjob sequence. Jessica Tandy. I never put Jessica Tandy and Felicia together. Don't even. Don't put them together. I could have sworn there was a blowjob scene in Cocoon.

With that oatmeal sale. You said, I mean, Jessica Tandy, who else and who else? Amanda, you're not going to get it. seen in Cocoon. With that oatmeal sale. Jessica Tandy. Who else? You're not going to get it. Swoozie Kurtz. And Amanda Plummer. I can give up. You don't know it, right?

If nothing's coming to you at this point, it's not going to jump in there. Porkies. Okay Okay that's incorrect But just maybe See if this helps at all Amanda Plummer plays a character Who's had her tongue cut out

Oh god Oh it's the Robert Altman film Can I say it? No What is it Alan? The World According to Garb Ah two dicks I mean two dicks

Wow What was Jessica Tandy That's a good way to win Like actually knowing it After challenging Who was the next Who was the next name I'm glad I could help shape

The next names are all giveaways Well Hume Cronin Then John Lithgow Glenn Close Mary Beth Hurt Was giving the blowjob And Robert Williams And it was

There was a horrible accident The other day Yeah It's disturbing It's disturbing Yeah a kid gets It's awful It's disturbing. It's disturbing, yeah. A kid gets... It's awful. It's just awful.

It's really abominable. Hey, you get a point. Chides chops his dick off. But you get a point. So something good came out of that horrible, horrible fictional blowjob accident. Let's keep going. We've got to get through this.

Shouldn't I get another point since I said it before anybody else? Well, you know, if it were up to me. No, it's not up to me. People would give me such shit if I just gave you the win for that.

But, you know, you might get there. We got three people that are one away from a win. So we'll start with Anna. Okay. Pressure.

And since she feels left out we'll go to Missy after Anna even though I think it's supposed to go the other way around but I really want everyone to have a good time

and be and be involved I'm the coach that puts everyone in can you give me a point for Rick so we're all even yeah

oh that's not a bad idea yeah the one guy you're playing for thinks that's a great idea Jesus what a Rick but you get to pick the category that's exciting oh it is mm-hmm okay would you like based on a two-story that's movies with the word house in the

title which would you like in theaters? That's movies that are in theaters now. I got that. Thanks. Or would you like, submitted by at lucky number Nevin, would you like My Wife? And that's movies where someone directed their own wife in the movie. The director was married to an actress in the movie. Which one of those would you like? I will take In Theaters Now.

Okay. It's In Theaters Now. Okay, In Theaters Now. So Leonard doesn't give it a star rating. He just gives it an extra long review on his app. And his reviews are always very entertaining because he writes from a real personal point of view.

Yeah, he writes a lot of things like, this isn't really what I like this isn't what I go to the movies for things like that he says it's pretty good and then he says compared to most early 2012 releases it's a masterpiece

compared to most let's not lump in the artist it was it's definitely better and what a compliment that would be a great in a movie in the ads to say it's definitely better than one other movie and there are 10 names back to the whole 10 name thing again. How many names did you get in? So all we got is it's better than something else that came out in early 2012. And also, he also said about it that it was pretty good.

That helps. I'll take 10 names. So it's going to take the names to tip it probably. Yeah, so that's why I want 10. Yeah, so it's going to take the names to tip it probably. Yeah, so that's why I want ten. Yeah, so she's going for all ten, Missy. So I could go for less? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'll do that.

How many less would you like to go? Like eight. She says eight out of ten. Oh, wait, it's going to go to him next? Yeah, it's going over to Alan next. Okay, hold on. But he could say name that, you know. He could name it in eight, yeah.

But that's a lot of names. That's a lot of names. I'm going to go with like three. Whoa. That's so weird. Can you believe this is happening to you? I can. It's being handed to me on a platter.

I think so, yeah. And I get to take it from pile. I like it. Name it. And I do that. All right. I hope you know some from pile. I like it. Name it! I'm going to do that. All right. I hope you know some movies that are out right now. I can read the mind of this man right here,

so I don't need to. He knows everything. So you think about movies that are out right now. Movies that are out right now that feature David Sequeira. Oh, Jesus. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Also, I'm sorry, that's Daniel Sequeira, David Burke,

and Liz White. Oh, yeah. It doesn't get you into the zone of anyone that you might recognize. So if you just name a movie that's out now, if you name the right one, the crowd's going to go nuts because that'll be amazing because the clues were

terrible. That would be amazing. But I'm excited because crowd's going to go nuts because that'll be amazing because the clues were terrible. That would be amazing. But I'm excited because Alan's going to win this thing. I'm so excited. I'm very competitive. Favoritism. We're only eight minutes over at this point. White. Jen White. Was that her name? Jennifer? Jill White.

Liz White? Whatever. Yeah, this is... Poor Liz White. It's an American film? No more clues. No more clues, Missy. It's not normally how I talk to a person, but with their name Missy, you can say it.

No one's ever said that to me. Because my name is Missy. Or that I've just known You know I've never had that experience It goes without saying When they're looking at you That they're Missy

I mean it's always Missy You know But when another kid Got called that Did you go Yo What's up I feel

Enough stalling Missy I don't know I was gonna say I think I know your Missy. I don't know. I was going to say. I think. I know your Missy games. Let's say it's got. It's the one with. I can't even.

It's like talking on the phone with my mom. So just tell me something about anything about the movie um what about that one where the the couple they're going through a divorce the separation it's the separation it's called a separation i haven't seen it yet but i heard it's true it's amazing nominated for best foreign film uh no but very close as soon as you said it, you lost me at a couple because it's the story of one young man trying to shake

his Harry Potter roots by appearing in Woman in Black. Right. Yeah, Woman in Black. I didn't even know that was a movie.

I didn't either. It's a horror film. That's what happens. You're busy making movies. Yeah, I don't watch horror movies. I don't watch horror movies. I just have,

I'm busy winning games. That's right. Alan Tudyk's our winner. Awesome. How much fun did kids have with your last name when you were like

growing up? Was it rough? Yeah, it was around second, third grade. They called me Tootie Fruity.

And then, like second grade. What? Yeah. They dropped the dick part? Just run with the Tootie Fruity. What? They dropped the dick part? Just run with the Tootie? I'm telling you, I know. It was Tootie Fruity up until third or fourth grade, and then one guy goes,

hold on a second. Wait a second. We've been missing something, guys. Two dick. Hold on. Double dick. Two dicks. so double dick, two dicks. You even pulled a two dicks. I was in a car episode with Graham Elwood.

We were making ourselves cry saying two dicks. It was so juvenile. But it came from a place of love. We said we were fans, and then we said two dicks over and over again. Good old two dicks we were calling you. That's a nice thing to say about someone with multiple genitalia. It is. But I'm glad we confronted

it and it didn't fester. Because when I officially really met Dax Shepard, I had said something that he didn't like many years before and he just let it bother him for a long time. And then he met me and we talked about it and

we both agreed that it was a horrible thing that I said. What was it? No, we're not going to say it. I think he was a fighter. What? Doesn't he seem like he could fight? I think so, yeah. Don't repeat it. He might be in a club or something. I'm not a fighter. Not at all, really? You're a club or something. I'm not a fighter. Not at all?

Really? No, no, no. You're a big guy. Let's talk about this later. Yeah. I just feel like, you know, to have a nickname like Two Dick, I feel like it's so much better than Earth, that last name. Like a name that people would make fun of.

I mean, it's like that guy has two dicks, as opposed to like half a dick would be like a bad last name. Do you know what I mean? I'm so glad nobody called me that. Where my parents were two dick, where the two dicks are from Texas, where they landed in Texas, they're Polish, there was a, I guess I didn't feel as bad,

there is a doodick. That's worse. Oh, yeah. Two is better than do. two is better than do do is better than do as far as the dick names go i say i think you're a winner jimmy huge dick has it over me but or just williams or just williams Oh, I see what happened. Congratulations to, who is Alan playing for? Joe! Where's Joe at? Come get your amazing prize packets.

Full of stuff. Tell us the names of your books again, Anna. I want people to buy your books. Falling for Me and Party Girl. There are two of them. Party Girl. Not based on the Parker Posey vehicle. No, I did not Girl. Not based on the Parker Posey vehicle. No, I did not write a book based on

the Parker Posey movie from the 90s. That'd be awesome to just watch a movie and then just write about it. Just write about that one movie for a whole book. Publishers are really after those kinds of books. They'd be so into it. That's what I'm working on right now. And Missy, everybody go see The Artist. Even if you think you're not going to like it,

go watch it, and then write to me on Twitter that I was right and that it was enjoyable. Yeah. I appreciate it. That's good. And can I say,

check out OSS 117, Nest of Spies, same Jean Dujardin, and the director. Michelle Hasner, and Berenice. Berenice, Berenice Bejo

one of the best it's a comedy it's a French comedy very funny it's like Naked Gun that's what they made first before this one

yeah it's a spoof of 007 it's fantastic it's so good they're all extremely extremely talented Chris Williams what do you got coming up I'm doing

Incognito the Prison Magician what's that like on A&E it's a little thing I'm con Incognito with a Prison Magician. What's that, like on A&E? It's a little thing I'm concocting. I've been doing around town. Do you really do magic? I am a magician and I do magic and shit, yes.

That's awesome! It's the Magic Castle. I would see the shit out of that. You do it at the Magic Castle? No, I'm doing it around the Empire of the Comedy Club. Where is it in LA? I haven't done it. I have different dates.

You can find it on my Twitter. Well, okay. Chris Williams on Twitter, everybody. Chris Williams underscore. And Chris was playing for, can Makers Mark come over here and write down a shithead for me to name at the end of the show? Because that's the prize that people get if they, you know, shithead for me to name at the end of the show? Because that's the prize that people get if the so-called losers

get to vent and name somebody as a shithead. Where's Rick at that Anna played for? Rick's way back there. I'm sorry. Come on down, Rick. Can I read that? This pen is fucked up, man.

Oh, that's a good one. Use this really dark one. Okay, that's Rick playing for Anna. All right, Anna playing for Rick. Then who'd you play for, Missy? I played for... What's your name? Jesse.

Jesse. All right. He can look the same, man. And you probably need that back, right? It's an ID, right? Oh, she can keep it? He weighs 59 pounds. Oh, so it's from when you were in school and weighed 59 pounds.

You are legitimately the cutest kid. I mean, look at that kid. She... All right, thank you. Missy says you're the cutest kid and that's what everyone's laughing at when she showed the picture. All right, did we cover everything?

Wait, did Rick come down? Yeah, Rick came down. Oh, did you want to meet him? Because it's like Valentine's Day. You picked this sign from the cutest guy. Does he want your sign back, Rick? No, it's present. I've got lots of shows coming up in Southern California.

Go to DouglasMovies.com For details and links And I'm taping my next album At Parlor Live In Bellevue, Washington On April 20th Thanks What's that?

Can I plug Suburgatory again? Oh yeah I'm sorry I didn't ask you to plug something Suburgatory every week It's tomorrow night At 8.30 Wednesdays

At 8.30 8.30 On ABC Yeah Some of the writers From Parks and Rec And Community It's tomorrow night at 8.30 Wednesdays at 8.30 On ABC Some of the writers from Parks and Rec And Community Cheryl Hines That's all I need to know Cheryl Hines and always with the boobs crazy out

Chris Parnell And Hannah Gasteyer Very funny show And congratulations on that Jillian Bigman Jillian Bigman We his wife. Oh yeah. Jillian Bigman. We've just gone through the cast. Everybody's great.

I love it and watch it and thank you for this amazing Dodgeball A True Underdog Story reunion. Let's hear it for Missy Pyle, Chris Williams, Alan Tudyk,

and Anna David. Thank you for getting the ball rolling on this very special episode. And as always, Dane Cook is a shithead, Jenny McCarthy is a shithead, and

finally one I agree with, Jar Jar Binks is a shithead and finally one I agree with. Jar Jar Binks is a shithead.