Doug Loves Movies - Alex Edelman, Jackie Kashian and DeAnne Smith guest

Episode Date: August 3, 2020

Doug welcomes Alex Edelman, Jackie Kashian and DeAnne Smith to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming, maybe sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you once again from this shit with another homes alone edition it's sunday august 2nd and my guests are alex edelman jackie cation and dianne smith hey everybody hi hi hello did i get a hello out of jack? You did. Was I soft? Hello and welcome to me. You know, some guy was talking over you, so I didn't hear you. And speaking of guys, let's meet the three of you individually and alphabetically,

starting with first-time guest on the show, comedian Alex Edelman is here. Hey, Alex. Hey, man. Thank you so much for having me you got an album out yeah i've got a new album out it's called until now and uh and yeah i mean it is i am not touring to promote it so uh so this is but this is better this is this is more fun i'm like yeah the new album it's called until now it's fun uh people should uh check it out especially because you know a lot of uh people aren't how did you make an album right like it was already planned to come out around this time and before the pandemic hit you know i had all of

these uh yeah it was gonna it was gonna come out. I actually moved it, moved it back because frankly, my favorite artist said he'd do the cover art, but took forever. And so the cover art is like incredible. And I could never honestly, like he did as a favor because it would be, it would have cost so much money, but yeah, it was supposed to come out a long time ago. And then he got the cover art done right when covid started and uh and yeah i put it out then but but it's it's it's from before the worsening of society okay uh so uh yeah so

that's cool that you're able to the timing worked out for that also uh joining us fresh off of a just did a stand-up show on the internet and then came right over to this show it's jackie cation hey jackie hey how's it going i did do it an internet show how'd it go it was super fun i had um ophira eisenberg and laurie kilmartin and robert jenkins all do 10 minutes and then i just I'm working on a new album. So I just try to get people I want to watch do 10 minutes, do 10 minutes. And then I get to work on 30 minutes. And they, do people pay to see all this?

Yeah. Essentially you got a Venmo or PayPal me something like five bucks. And then I send you the link. And then anywhere between 25 to 120 people come every Sunday. Oh, you do it every week. I call it Sunday services. Please don't blaspheme on my program.

God bless us all. Yeah, that sounds great. And so what time does it go off at the same time every week? No, no. Sometimes I do it late because I got some fans in like Melbourne and Ireland and Austria. And so I do it at like, sometimes I do it at like nine o'clock in the morning. So it's late at night, far away. Sometimes I do it in the middle of the day. So then it's late at night far away sometimes i do it in the

middle of the day so then it's late at night closer well all right well you get me up for one i'll i definitely come on and do a few minutes uh that's super fun i just you know you asked me to do today's and you know i have intense prep to do for this show before it starts right right i couldn't be running off to your virtual comedy club exactly which is also called my guest room i gotta stay focused and also joining us for uh the second time on this program uh first time was up in toronto or actually was in montreal at Just for Laughs Comedy Festival, but when she was a Toronto native, but now living in Los Angeles. Hello.

Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to be here with Alex and Jackie as well. I didn't know who else was on. This almost feels like hanging out. It does. Every time I do one of these zoom shows, I, you know, throw comics together that I am not sure if they know each other. I mean, we all tend to know each other more than not, but you know,

there's just some comics you don't know. So some weeks I'll have three people I've never met. And then like today, this worked out great that everybody's. It's amazing. You know, Alex is on this week's, this upcoming episode of the dork forest he's oh my god he's the dork it's awesome he's gonna dork out about hiking and slot canyons which sounds dirtier than it is yeah these are three of my favorite people it's a weird uh it's it's so funny because i i realize that that it's not this but i feel like some of these podcasts

and shows I'm doing are like the universe being like, here's a bit of charity for you, given what you're going through. But they're like, you're a sick kid. Would you like to meet John Cena? This is what's going to happen, you know? Am I John Cena in this scenario?

I'd love to be. No, Cation is John Cena. You're the Undertaker. God damn it. God, okay, all right. Okay, sure. I you're the undertaker damn it god oh okay all right okay sure i'll be the undertaker um i was out you know listen i know you're we're introducing yourselves to me but let me talk about where i met alex edel edelman or idol man i just know we have often more than once been sharing a green room at the melbourne international comedy festival

we're often in the same venue like like back to back, which is fun. It's so funny. And it's like a fun, weird challenge. Doug, earlier you were talking about competitive comedians and I'm not particularly competitive, but I do know that Alex draws well in Melbourne. So Alex, one of my secret goals is to always have like a house big enough that it's not like embarrassing when you come in with your audience.

First of all, my first year in Melbourne, Deanne's, like my first year in Melbourne was just, let's be honest, my audience, when I come to new places, college students and Jews. Oh, absolutely. You had a mix. Oh, and so Deanne's is like cool young people and lesbians. And so her audience was going out as my audience was

coming in and the changeover was was a real funny mix of people it was just like old jews and yarmulkes and yeah you know it was it was so it was so fun but yeah all lovely people but a spectrum of humanity for sure yeah and i i got to geek out with jackie about joni mitchell once and it was right lovely you've been on the dork forest doug hasn't been doug is uh scheduled to come on the dork forest you can all do it again not alex he's doing it this week but you can do it i remember it's been so long since the first time i did i did dork dork forest once i think in like 2007 in your home when i come to your home and sit at like the kitchen table right and um and uh i have i have no idea what

we talked about i don't know what i dorked out about i know i bet you it was movies it might have been it might have been but i've got i've got something specific i'd like to dork out about this next time that i i hope you like we're due this month we're due to do it this very month all right we'll do it this month and then people will find out what do you want to dork out my first time on the dork forest i talked about david foster wallace and this time i talked about hiking so my annoying white guy credentials are impeccable yeah i'm like you're a dude that's real dude stuff you know what and i kept calling david foster wallace george wallace

not that much white guy credentials and whatnot and and i called his hiking a walk no i didn't no i hiking was kind of intense yeah i didn't even know you could dork out about uh walking along a path you can't you can't if it's scary you can't if it's a terrifying walk yeah all right um before we get to the uh games part of the show which comes in fast fast and hot on the Zoom version, I do have one quick piece of business. A Mr. Alex P123

on Instagram reached out to me to let me know that I said the wrong Drew Barrymore movie on the last episode. Boys on the Side had Whoopi Goldberg in it, not Riding in cars with boys to which I say to which I say enough with the movies with the word

boys in the title Drew Barrymore why you guys are good lyrics that movies so when people say ask me like if there's a rom-com that I actually like, Music and Lyrics is one that comes up. The woman who played Shakira made me laugh so hard. She was so good. Hayley Bennett? Yeah. Was that her name?

Yeah. She's really good. She's in The Girl on the Train and a few other movies. Oh, good. I think she was a Bond girl, too, at one point. She was only like 17 or 18 in music and lyrics. Yeah, but definitely had a real strong

take on that character and it was really funny the way she did it. It was so funny and so smart. That movie is good because I'm convinced that every movie where Adam Schlesinger did the music part was incredible.

So the guy from Fountains of Wayne wrote all the music, if I'm not mistaking, wrote all the music and lyrics. So yeah, he wrote those great songs that had that, you know, kind of feel of those, uh, those, uh, eighties. Uh, Yeah. Oh, right. The pop, the Hall and Oates kind of. Cause yeah. Kind of like, um, Oh, right. The pop. Yeah. Hall and Oates kind of. Yeah. Kind of like, oh, what's like ABC or something like that. One of those bands, you know, those British, British bands.

I liked, yeah, I like everything about that movie. I really do. It's really, cause it's also, I think movies about writing music are hard to pull off, but when they're done right, I think it's kind of transcendent. You know what I liked about that movie? I like that it focuses on the relationship that evolves between a former pop music

idol and an aspiring writer as they struggle to compose a song for a movie. You just Googled it. You haven't seen the movie. And I'm not saying that I'm reading that off. I love that. When we play the games, all of Deanne's answers are going to be way too, have so much more information.

I promise not to do that during the game. I was just feeling left out because I didn't know the movie. What I like was that it was released on February 9th, 2002. You know, the guy who wrote and directed it, though, also wrote and directed the movie before that, also with Hugh Grant, but with Sandra Bullock called Two Weeks Notice. And Two Weeks Notice has thevd commentary i've ever listened to who does it who is the writer sandra bullock and the writer director the three of them just

chatting about making that awful movie yes yes that i thoroughly enjoy that awful movie who is the who is the writer and director i can't remember but i bet you deanna knows yeah she probably it's directed by well music and lyrics was directed by mark lawrence as we all know that's him yes oh yeah almost congeniality guy oh is he it's this yeah it's it's the same movie he he did really i like two weeks notice and music and lyrics and then he made hugh grant who's he's clearly friends with and Sarah Jessica Parker where they left New York which is an error on his part

yeah that one was not good it had a great title too Meet the Fockers no that wasn't it but it was just like horrible that the title was awful that movie it was like have you heard about the...

Morgans. It was Morgans, everyone. Yes. TN is going to be the last word on this guy. I know. It was such a layup for critics when that movie came out, because it's like, have you heard about the Morgans? Yeah, I heard they're in a shitty movie.

Yay. Doug, before, not to ask you a question on your own podcast but but if you had to pick do you have a favorite savage movie quote oh damn like from a review i love bad reviews and so and so i sometimes read bad reviews from like ebert or pauline kale or something and i'm just wondering and sometimes i'll say to a friend hey have you heard about this bad review quote and they'll be like oh yeah i've heard about that one have you heard this bad review quote like i think it's a fun little genre of reading i wrote a movie review that has my favorite quote in it and then i wrote it go ahead it was i saw uh accidentally saw sex in the city

too and you know how there's that game what who would you be in sex in the city too and what i wrote was that i would be the arab guy that had them arrested because that movie was so brutal and so horrible sex in the city City 2 was painfully bad. I don't know if you saw it. Yeah, how do you accidentally see it? Somebody else picks the movie, and then all of a sudden you're sitting there. Yeah. What a horrible accident.

It was a terrible accident. Anything I've seen, it's been because the girl I'm seeing wants to see Sex in the City. I'm like, all right, I guess I got to do this now. Like the begrudging boyfriend. Oh, yeah. The last movie I accidentally saw that I really loved. And I know you're all thinking it's going to be something great. It was Frozen 2.

Oh, sure. I loved Frozen 2. It answered all of my questions from Frozen 1. I'm not even kidding. How is that possible? Well, because my main question about Frozen 1 was, why are their parents such assholes? And in Frozen 2, they answer that question.

Oh, I thought, I mean, I thought in the first one, it was fairly clear that they had to leave for some reason. They weren't just leaving just to go have fun. But they stuck her in a, they kept her in her room and then she was like yeah i guess i'm in my room for 10 years yeah that's true they did she had magic but they didn't yeah they didn't want her to you know she almost killed her own sister right right was there a bigger question beyond that that i missed from frozen water no that was the biggest question. Oh, okay, okay.

Child heroes in movies have to have parents that are dead or parents that mistreat them. It's called the Matilda Law in every single – Is that like an Amber Alert? Kind of. Yeah. Every single child hero or heroine has to have dead parents or shitty parents.

It's true of Lassie. It's true of comedians as well. Well, here's the part where I say the games begin. Okay. We got you guys in a commercial break between, and we're going to start with something called, this was suggested by someone named Greg Bernhard on Twitter. It's called Those Darn Derns.

I'll name a movie, and you tell me if it's got Bruce Dernn laura dern or both oh my god that's awesome laura dern i'm gonna sign this let's do it yeah but here's the fun part though is that i will go to one at a time in the aforementioned alphabetical order and if the first person misses then the second person gets a chance at it and if that person misses the second person gets a chance at it. And if that person misses, the third person gets a lucky point because they'd obviously know that the third choice is the correct one. Oh, it's multiple choice. I love that. You've got to pay attention, though.

Yeah. Got to say Brewster and Lordern or both. Are you ready, Al? Yeah. say Brewster and Laura Dern or both. Are you ready, Al? Grisly 2 Revenge. Grisly

2 Laura Dern. That is correct. Nice. Yes. Revenge. Did you actually remember that movie or you just I took a fucking guess because I remember that movie or you just I took a fucking guess because I thought

that movie sounds like a movie from the 90s or 80s by which time Brewster may have been too established but Laura Dern was probably starting out so she probably took a role wow so you thought it through well yes but also no

because I've never heard the movie. And for all I know, it's an Oscar nominee. But yeah, it's, I guess, Laura Dern. Yeah, most Oscar nominees have a name. The Godfather 2, colon, Godfather Boogaloo. All right. Here, we're moving on to Jackie. You get this next one first.

Okay. Bruce Dern, Laura Dern are both a movie called Fat Man and Little Boy. Wow. Both. Incorrect. Incorrect Incorrect Deanne, is it Bruce or Laura?

I'm just going to go Bruce Also incorrect No What do you think the answer is? Alex, do you know? Yeah, I've actually seen this movie If it's the Paul Newman one It is Paul Newman one

I didn't register Laura Dern as being in it But yeah, I've actually seen this movie if it's the Paul Newman one. It is Paul Newman one. Yeah, I didn't register Laura Dern as being in it. But yeah, I suppose Laura Dern is it. It's the one about the atomic bomb. Yeah, yeah. And there's a young Laura Dern in it. I assume she's, isn't John Cusack in that one? I think she's like his love interest maybe. maybe i i only i only remember uh i only remember genuinely the uh that there's a uh like an argument over whether or not they should do it in there somebody gets radiated to like death

because they wouldn't do it no someone gets radiated death i think during like a test that goes wrong we don't mean do it like have sex no dropping the atomic dropping the atomic there was like a moment where you're like whether or not they should do it and i was like what what are we even talking there's like a chernobyl-y type accident in the movie that is like really not fun to watch is is it is that the movie where Samuel Jackson gets eaten by a shark? Oh, no, you're thinking of Schindler's List. Oh, that's right. That's right.

They always get those mixed up. And it's interesting to me because I really like that. That was a sequel to the first Flipper, right, from 64? No, you're thinking of Schindler's List 2, colon. You're talking about, what's she talking about she's talking about the sam jackson shark movie was called um sharks are smart no i can't remember the name of that movie but they swim backwards shark geniuses yeah no that one was called oh man why can't i do it? Something about deep down. Oh, something in the deep.

Yeah, deep down under. Deep blue sea? No, that was. I think Deanna has, Deanna. Yeah, Deanna, look it up, you cheater. Doing it deep? No, I'll look it up if you want me to, but I really, I'm playing by the rules here.

I want you to know. I'm just, I'm glad in the last conversation, Alex introduced us to the word Chernobyl-yobyl because i'm gonna use that from now on when things feel a bit chernobyl-y have you seen in chernobyl they really go heavy on the makeup for like people thing like deformities from radiation and that happens in this Paul Newman movie. And it's real. It comes almost out of nowhere. Yeah, it's a real bomber. Wait, who said Deep Blue Sea?

Me. Alex. Yeah, that was right. What? Guys, I'm on fire today. You really are. You won't even get a point for that though. He's already two points ahead of us. And it's just Dern Talk. Hello and welcome to Dern Talk.

Hold on, Alex, at this point. But we're going to try with another one for Jackie. You ready? Yes. The movie is called Rambling Rose. I know this one. Oh, that's Laura Dern. That is correct.

Awesome. You're on the board at one point. Deanne? Okay. I wish you'd asked me the Rambling Rose one. I know, right? You knew that one. That would have been perfect for you.

But speaking of things that are perfect, the movie is called A Perfect World. Oh, okay. Never heard of it. And truthfully, cannot think of what Bruce Dern looks like. A Perfect world. You know, I'm an old man now. Yeah. I'm going to, I'm taking a stab at both.

Incorrect. God damn it. Alex? Laura? That is correct. You are just too much of an expert on all these darn Derns. I am very much not. You really know your darn Derns. You are just too much of an expert on all these darn durans. I am very much not. You really know your darn durans.

You ran away with that thing. Here's a dumb question, but please answer it anyway. Has Bruce Stern been in a lot of movies? Mm-hmm. But here's the weird part. That's why I thought this game would be funny, is that Laura and Bruce have never been in a film together. Oh, my God.

I keep hoping they've been in a film together. I think that was my answer. I was like, is it both? And the thing is, they're totally into each other. Like, when they get nominated for Oscars, they show up with each other at all the awards shows. and everything like are they related they're super yeah they're father and son father daughter and uh they're they're super into each other but but strangely uh laura dern has worked with her mother uh uh what's her name? Lad? Cheryl Lad?

She's worked with Cheryl Lad from the Charlie's Angels program. In Ramblin' Rose. Her mother's last name is Lad. She kept her name even though she's Bruce Dern's wife. Chattel? Laura Dern's.

And she and Laura Dern have been in seven movies together. Oh my gosh. Diane Ladd is her name. Oh, Diane Ladd. Diane Ladd. Some of them are, what do you call them, David Lynch movies.

So like in particular, David Lynch movie, Diane Ladd gives such an over the top, insane performance. Do you guys know the movie Wild at Heart? Yes. There's a scene where she's putting on lipstick and just smearing it all over her face. It is so disturbing. Yeah. Every time I've seen a David Lynch movie, I feel like he's sitting next to me, hitting me, going,

Am I weird? Right? I am so weird. Bet you never thought of this before. Diane Ladd played Jennifer Lawrence's grandmother in that David O. Russell movie from a couple of years back. Oh, Joel? Yes. And she's like super famous. I didn't know that she was Laura Dern's mom. Oh, yeah. No, she's had super famous. I didn't know that she was Laura Dern's mom. Oh, yeah. No, she's had

a huge career. Like I said, they worked together seven times, but for some reason, they just haven't found the right script, I guess, for Laura and Bruce to work together. I think she might have been like, I think she's got a couple of uncredited roles, in fact, in her mother's movies.

I think she spent more time with her mother than her father you know back in the day when she was a kid okay um we have to spend some time with our sponsors and go to some brief commercial messages and i love all those guys. We will be right back. We're back. Yay. Told you guys it would be fast. And we're here to play another game. Who won that last one? Alex?

Alex, you won, right? Yeah. I thought it was close. I can't remember remember let's go back and listen to the tape but i'm pretty sure it was alex that won yeah so that means alex you get to go first in the new game newish game that we've been playing on the show called weird algorithm please be about weirdo yankovic please be about weirdo yankovic it's not about him it's just only using his fun name in the title unfortunately but i you know in the future i'd be happy to try to devise a game that's entirely about weirdo he's a big guy, and I love him.

But this game is called Weird Algorithm because on the IMDB, the Internet Movie Database, if you currently click on cast list for emotion, it'll be the option of refining that list based on popularity so it basically reorders the actors all of the actors in any given film in order of popularity according to the algorithms of the IMDb. Wow. That's so unnecessary. It's like, I feel bad for any actor in a movie. That's now going to take this information and go look at the movies.

They were at to see where they rank. I feel bad. It's like Kevin Corrigan. Who's amazing in every movie, but not like the star in any of them. Yeah. And he's not out there doing... I think what happens is a lot of people

search a name on IMDb based on current events. Oh, okay. So somebody's... Their profile goes up when something happens to them in the news. Like Dabney Coleman. Dabney Coleman always doing something.

I'd just like to back up... Sorry just want to say oh yeah kevin corrigan from good fellas henry fool the departed super bad pineapple express king of staten island etc it's so funny this is a problem during the show this way i'm not using it during the games, everybody. Just want to feel a part of things. She's keeping it real. All right. So here's how it's going to work. I'm going to name a movie and then we'll start with you, Alex,

but everyone's going to get a chance to go first. Cause we're going to play three rounds and it will rotate, but Alex goes first in the first round. I'll name a movie. You just guess who you think goes first in the first round. I'll name a movie. You just guess who you think would be in the top three. You want number one, ideally, because number one would be worth three points, two would be worth two points, and three would be worth one point. You can all share answers.

You don't have to have different answers, but, of course, it will help to determine a winner if you disagree at some point. And someone will get to go first each time and kind of set the table. High score after three rounds wins. Ready, Alex? Yes, sir. Do you remember a movie called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? I do indeed. Who do you think in that movie would be considered the number one most popular actor or actress today?

Okay. So that movie's got Harrison Ford in it. I believe it's got Shia the Beef. Shia the Beef. It's got Karen Allen and I think, and Cate Blanchett. So I'm going to guess

I'm going to guess that Cate Blanchett is above Harris. I'm going to guess Cate Blanchett is above Harris. I'm going to guess Cate Blanchett. Okay. Jackie, what do you think?

LeBeouf. LeBeouf. Is that just your answer anytime he's in a movie? That is always my answer. Shia LeBeouf. If I'm saying that correctly. See Peanut Butter Falcon? So good. So, so good. saying that correctly. See Peanut Butter Falcon? So good.

So, so good. It's amazing. Those guys are amazing. Shia is so good. Yeah, Zack, Madigan, Gots again, I think is his last name. He's great. It's really hard not to be moved by it, I think. Yeah?

Yeah. Check it out. It's so good. It's incredible. If you're in the mood for some uplift, go ahead and check it out. Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. It's incredible. If you're in the mood for some uplift, go ahead and check it out. Oh,

great. Deanne, what do you think? Okay. But before I go, you heard some typing. It was literally just me typing peanut butter Falcon. Cause I've never heard of the movie and I need to see it now.

Quote, Doug Benson, you will be moved. Something something like that i i i just have to say harrison ford because that's what i would imagine that's fair i hope it's kate blanchett i love that that's how i am like with the oscars like i have a hope who i hope win and who i think will win. I'm slightly gamifying it, Doug, because I'm like, he wouldn't ask if it was Harrison Ford

directly, but now I'm like, I could be wrong. I think it's Laura Dern. That's what's weird about this thing. You never know which way it's going to go. Alex picked Kate Blanchett, and Jackie went with LaBeouf and Deanne

says Harrison Ford. And just for, just to show you how weird these algorithms are. There's a lot of known actors in this movie in fourth place as student in library. Chet Hanks. Oh my God. Wow. tom hanks's kid no brother brother huh yeah wait no no chum that's chet chet hanks you mean chet hayes the rapper from northwestern who is a consistent embarrassment to to uh that's that's his son, right?

Wait, what? He's got a son named Chet? Yeah. His, his son is named Chet and he is a, uh, and, and, and he's, and he, he bears a Google cause he's a rapper. Okay. I thought he was a brother, but I knew he was goofy. I knew it was like, uh, you know like colin hanks is uh totally awesome and then i think chet put out some sort of like hipster when when when tom hanks had covid yes that was chet okay that was chet yes chet uses a bit of a patois that is not befitting um a man of his background. And it is really, really uncomfortable to watch.

And I think people, out of love for Tom Hanks, have slightly just averted their eyes from Chet Hayes. But, yeah. Oh, because he changed his last name for some reason? I don't think he changed his last name. I think it's his rap nom de plume i think it's hayes instead of hanks yes but his twitter handle is hanks yeah that's what if i if i saw the right video a month three five months ago yeah yes chet hayes chet

the mystery deepens i didn't i i feel like I know even less about him now. Lucky, lucky man. Yeah, but coming in third place is Harrison Ford. Ooh. Yeah, it's strange. It's a weird algorithm. Coming in at number two, LeBouf. Oh, nice. Yeah. Well, well well well what's jackie on the board but uh

uh alex figured it out it's kate blanchett is the number one most popular person in indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull wow the scene in that movie where he survives an atomic bomb by climbing inside a refrigerator from the 50s is truly incredible. Yeah, that movie's okay, actually, in rewatching time. Yeah, I've been hearing from people lately, and then I remind them about the refrigerator. Right, right. Sometimes I'll watch a pattern if the colors change often enough. Sometimes I'll watch a pattern if the colors change often enough. So I don't mind Crystal Skull. Are there any TV stations out there anymore that have the test pattern with the image of the Indian on it?

You would think MeTV or this TV would just play it for giggles, but they don't, which is really good because I think the Washington Murder Hornets is also, they're changing their name. It's another good reason to not have it up. Who is number five on this, on that list, Doug?

I mean, is it Karen Allen? Is it the British guy from The Departed? Who is number five? I don't know. Okay. I don't know.

Yeah, because it's funny. Somebody picked something to ask about that I didn't write down when we played this game because, you know, I just don't – I can't write down the entire answer. Of course, of course, of course. Karen Allen, I believe, felt embarrassingly like fifth or sixth or something. Yikes.

Yeah. And it's like I said, it's weird. So now that you know how weird it is, we'll go on to the next round. Jackie gets to go first this time. Who do you think lands at the top of the popularity list for the film The Princess Bride?

Oh, wow. Okay. So there's that guy, and then that woman were in it. I love hearing you. I like how you show your work. Yeah, gotta show your work. Okay, so there's Wesley and then there's Buttercup. I think Buttercup. You going Buttercup? I'm going Buttercup.

You going Buttercup on this? Mm-hmm. All right. Her name's Robin something, right? She was also in Wonder Woman? Yeah. That's why. We know who you're talking about.

Okay. Yeah. Your answer's safe with us. Okay. It could have been Inigo Montoya, because he said his name a lot. Or it could have been the guy whooya, but, uh, cause he said his name a lot, or it could have been the guy who did Iocane powder. Um, what I got is I got the movie in my head. I don't have any of

the actors, so I'm going to say go with Buttercup though. Okay. Uh, I am in a similar position. I do not think this guy, he may not even be one of the top four, but it's the only name I can remember. So I'm going to say Cary Elwes. I hope he's in the top three, but I just don't know. Oh. It's hard to know for sure. Well, Billy Crystal has a cameo.

Yes. Right. As the guy who's like, he's not dead um right right and then andre the giant and andre but i don't know how how active in us weekly and the gossip mags and current events andre the giant is or fred savage fred savage yeah i would just remembered that fred savage as well or pretty uh pretty stacked uh pretty amazing cast and i'll tell you this i did write down 11 names because i found wow that's fascinating interesting that the that there's a there's 11 people that i feel like are pretty known for being in princess by but what order

are they you know christopher guest has a bunch of fingers in the movie and Wallace Shawn takes the Iocane, but I think Billy Crystal is still probably higher. Is he still alive? What's happening? Billy Crystal,

is he still alive? Of course. He's starring in FX shows on the reg. is he okay all right well i'm glad it's working yeah he needs it i want to do voiceovers is anyone finding me that work we're in quarantine anyway he did billy did a show called the comedians i guess you probably it's not a profession that interests you. I'm thinking about getting into it, but I don't know that. Get into it.

They got Zoom open mics these days. Do you think you settled on anybody, Alex? I'm going to settle on William Crystal, Billy Crystal. Okay. So like I said, I wrote down 11 names because I found it interesting. Number 11 is Andre the Giant. Okay. Yeah.

Makes sense. Makes sense. He's passed away. He's passed away, so he doesn't have any new movies for people to be looking up. But also still living, but at number 10, Billy Crystal. Wow, I'm way off. I know, can you believe it? I would not have put him that low.

Yeah, he should not look up his own name. Right. That was an amazing scene. With him and Carol Kane. Is the Patink in the top three? Oh, you'll find out.

He's got to be up there. We're only at number nine. Peter Falk, who tells the story. Number eight, Billy Crystal's partner in that one scene, Carole Kane. That's right. Seven, the kid, Fred Savage.

Oh my god, I'm liking the looks of this for me. Number six is Inconceivable. It's Wallace Shawn. Wallace Shawn. Five fingers of death for Christopher Guest. Number four, Mandy Pants. Wow.

Oh, wow. How is Carrie Elvis higher than Mandy Pants. Wow. Oh, wow. Number four. How is Cary Elvis higher than the Batali? He's very handsome. I don't know. Number three, Chris Sarandon. What? Who is Chris Sarandon? He's Humperdinck.

He's Humperdinck. Yeah, he's Prince Humperdinck. Wow. He was great. Yeah. But what's he doing now? Yeah. He's Prince Humperdinck. Wow. He was great. Yeah. But what's he doing now? Yeah. Who would have thought that he'd get such a good ranking? He's being related to Susan. That's what his biggest credit is.

Yeah. You know, she's always out there saying something. I suppose. Right. Surrounded is surrounded. That's a nice way of putting that. She's always out there saying something. She says stuff and then people people write it down right and some people write it down because they like it other people write it down because they don't care for it it's a crap with her yeah um number two remember when she had she had a series of uh she opened a bunch of bars and had ping pong ping pong uh number two, Kary Ellis.

Yes! What? Wait a minute. What does that mean for Buttercup? I'm so excited. Great job. Number one is Buttercup herself, Robin Wright. That's it. Wow. That is amazing. Unbelievable. Great job.

This is a really tight game we got going here. Alex has three points. Deanne has three points. And Jackie, with that move, is in the lead with five points. Holy. This is spooky, quite honestly. One round left to go.

But I do feel like this is going to be the toughest one. Uh-oh. Deanne, you go first. Okay. The film is called My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Oh my God. Okay, listen. I know it's a very popular

film. I know many people have seen it. I've never seen it. I have also never seen it and can literally not name one actor from the movie. I am sitting here with my girlfriend who's an actor. Is it, am I allowed to just ask if she knows any actors from this movie? Can I outsource this?

There's the Northern Exposure guy. Yeah, you don't have to worry about that because, you know, when it gets to Alex, he'll just, you know, you don't have to lock in your answer yet. So when it gets to Alex, we'll discuss the movie, you don't have to lock in your answer yet. So when it gets to Alex, we'll discuss the movie. And then I don't have to lock in an answer yet from whatever. Well, the idea is if you had one, but you, since you don't have an answer, you need to find out who's in this movie and then pick someone.

That's true. And I'm not allowed to ask them my room. You're only allowed to listen to what Alex has to say. I'm in trouble. I don't know a ton about this movie. I've seen it, but I don't know. Like, I too am not sure. It's the highest grossing film ever produced in Canada. Canada.

And it was made by Tom Hanks' company, Playtone. It was one of the first movies he produced. Tom Hanks' company, Playtone. It was one of the first movies he produced. Is it not written and starring some woman? Yeah, some woman. I'd like to say her. It's Nia Vardoulis is one of the only

names that I know from the movie. Oh, good. And she's been in other stuff since then, so that's a good guess. Fuck. I don't uh i gotta go with northern exposure guy who's dating the uh woman from who was in 10 daryl hannah yeah not daryl hannah um hey bo derrick bo derrick yeah bo derrick and the Derek. You're talking about John Corbett. John Corbett. Dating Bo Derek. Is he? Yes.

This is exciting. They seem like a really good couple. Excuse me while I'm literally just going to Google what Bo Derek looks like now. That's all I'm doing. She looked amazing. I met them together. Why wouldn't she look incredible? She has the greatest bone structure. I'm suggesting she wouldn't. I just want to see what she looks like

now yeah she looks amazing now i can only picture with those like no i can only picture with like those dreads coming out of the sea like that picture yeah no she has normal hair now and she's 60 years old and she's super hot she's still super hot yeah how did you meet them jackie i was opening for brian regan in santa barbara and wow dennis miller john corbett corbett um and uh bo derrick came to the green room and she was the only one who was nice really that's a shame but i'm glad she's nice me too her mom in that movie is somebody but i can't remember hey god hey god jackie was was john corbett not nice uh no distantly polite the other two distantly polite okay

there you go you you are correct uh to to to look for clarification on that he wins the bo derrick wins the the nice prize and the other two were there we're just and and distantly polite it polite is not not nice so you are correct yeah okay cool yeah i i've met john and he's he seems like a very nice person right they were everybody uh was distantly polite until after my set when everyone was very polite wait so so so everyone has met john corbett on this call except for me huh so? So that's basically. No, I haven't met him. I'd like, can we just take a tiny moment?

Like, I guess I think of the word polite. It automatically kind of includes distantly to me. So Jackie, what's a good example between like distantly polite and polite? Oh, right. So afterwards they were effusively polite. They were like, oh, you're very funny. You're very funny. Before it was. Like more personal and engaged.

Yes. Before it was like, oh, it's nice to meet you. I want to talk to Brian Regan. Right. And Bo Derek was like, oh, it's nice to meet you. How long have you been doing stand up? You seem like a nice person. Like sort of engaged me.

Yes. Yes. Got it. You know, you walk into a room where there's brian regan and somebody you don't know at all yes that's that's you know so i think they were i think they sounds like they went out of their way but beau derrick sounds extra nice you're right about that if she right she just she took an extra step because it's it's it's it was just very um it was thoughtful is what it was because they they

they were both engaging brian regan as you would and she was like oh well someone should talk to this other person who's in here i guess i'll be that person and she was very nice to me all right and could you have thoughts while you were talking or were you just thinking about her bone structure are you killing time so that we don't get to my big fact? Cause I could 100% see that happening. I'm just truly interested. Uh, no, but literally meeting Bo Derek was kind of amazing. Yeah. And I was like, Oh my God, this I'm talking to Bo Derek. And, um, and I didn't say anything weird. She doesn't need to know that she's good looking. She knows she's good looking. Right. And I'm in a committed monogamous relationship. So I don't know what I would have said to her. It would have been funny if you just said that, hey, Bo, I'm in a committed

monogamous relationship, just so you know. And I'm also, not at this time, into ladies. And I've never been into ladies, but just by accident okay i'll tell you what not at this time sounds like to a lesbian that sounds distantly polite to me and i appreciate that yes a qualifier on it at least so who else is in my big fat greek wedding wrote it we gotta lock in our answers so yeah i'm near vardolis near vardolis is the lady jackie likes john corbett i'm gonna go with john corbett i have to go nia vardolis because i didn't know her name but she's literally the only face i can think of when i think of that movie there's a guy there's a guy from n sync in this movie say him the guy from joey fatone is in it.

Okay. Joey Fatone is my answer because I think the good ones have been taken, but I may as well. Who hasn't benefited from hitching their star to the Joey Fatone wagon? Who hasn't gone directly into the pantheon of heroes. Yeah, I'm going to guess Joey Fatone. All right, well, you can use the same answer as one of the other players if you want. You don't have to have your own.

You can go John as well if you like. You go John or Nia or I guess nobody else because you can't think of anybody else. I'm going to stick with Joey Fatone. Okay. Personally, I think you're onto something here. Yeah, it might be Joey Fatone. Because they did that thing recently where they all sang stuff on Zoom.

But it's also possible I'm thinking of the Backstreet Boys. I've got his name nowhere in front of me. That's how far far how many names did you write down doug i wrote down six okay well then didn't even finish in the top six and the shit well then can i i would like to also say i'd also like to say john yeah of course now that you tell me i have the wrong answer i sure would like to change to a different answer. And I would love to also... You know what? No. Nia Vardoulis, I know she got it because

she did a one-person show. And as someone who loves one-person shows, I am going to... I will also select Nia Vardoulis along with... Listen, I know we've locked in our answers, but I think it's only fair that I pick Joey Fatone. He just told you it's wrong.

I know, but that's my new answer. Joey Fatone. You should take Nia Vardalos. I'm going to take Nia Vardalos. Okay, so Joey Fatone didn't finish. Oh, damn it. Yeah. Damn it.

I wasn't kidding about that. It's six. So did any of you see the movie? No. I saw it. I saw it way back in the day, but it was, as I would say,

an accidental one because my parents won't stop talking about how much they love the movie. So I've seen the movie. And then I read an article about the movie, about how the woman did a one person show in like North Hollywood, like Emma Stone in La La Land style and Rita Wilson saw the thing and was like, said to Tom Hanks, like, Hey, you should produce this movie. And then he was like, okay, I'll produce this movie.

And I guess they made a lot of money from it. They sure did. Enough for Chet to change his name to Chet Hayes. Well, in that movie, there's an older gentleman who thinks everything can be cured with Windex. And I think of him often during

COVID. And his name was Michael Constantine. Okay. And then coming in at number five, my big fat Greek wedding is all her. No. And she is at fifth place. Nia Vardoulis is at fifth.

No. What? That's a rip. I mean, there's some great people ahead of her. Fourth is Lainey Kazan, and third is Andrea Martin. And then second is that dude, Louis Mandelore. Never heard of him. Me either.

I forget what he plays in that movie, Louis Mandalore. Never heard of him. Yeah, he's... I forget what he plays in that movie, but I guess... Have I won this game? You've won this game. Well, number one, you won even before this round happened, Jackie. Now you really ran away with it. Because John Corbett is number one.

Oh! Wow. Well, I'm comforted by knowing there's nothing I could have done. There's nothing. There was no saving you, Alex. Yeah. I'm just happy to know more about Bo Derek's bone structure. I'm just, I'm just,

I just think this bodes well for me wanting to meet John Corbett. I think. Chance. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just glad I got to tell that story where I got to meet a famous person. Because I met him at the Melrose Improv. He likes comedy.

Oh, nice. He likes being around comedy mediums and stuff. But that's it. Jackie Cation, congratulations. You took it all you won this thing so anybody you'd like to thank

I think I'd like to thank Bo Derek and John Corbett and that guy who had Iocane powder I don't know I'm furious right now I sense that for no reason whatsoever I didn't deserve now. I sense that. For no reason whatsoever. I didn't deserve to win. I have no...

But I'm just like... I made bad choices, but I'm still like, god damn it. It is nice to win, but there's nothing... There's no prizes at stake today. We're still gonna plug your album. It's called now called until it's called until

now but i feel like i should have to plug the dark forest now i feel like i should be like please listen to my podcast the dark forest and the album it's never going to be bred the jackie cation um one of my favorite cation albums albums, but, but yeah, my. Yeah. Just get everybody by Alex's album. It's called now or never. I only get, that'd be funny if at the end of the show, I only get the plugs right at the person who won. That's not a bad prize to be honest. But is there anything else you'd like to plug Alex? Anything else going on?

This will sound so weird, but I made an online Passover Seder with this guy, Benj Pasek, who's a wonderful movie. Is he Jewish? Yes. Benj is a Jew. And he wrote all the music for La La Land and The Greatest Showman and Dear Evan Hansen. he's got an Oscar. And we made this thing to raise money for the CDC Foundation's COVID Relief Fund.

And we've raised like $3.5 million so far. And it's really good. So if you feel like going to watch it, it's called Saturday Night Seder. And you can Google. I'm in. That sounds great. Jackie Cation. Yep.

Dork Forest. The Jackie and Laurie show. I'm doing a bunch of Zoom shows all the time so you can join my email list, which is easy. It's quite easier to get off the list than it is to join it because there's

an unsubscribe button and but i send out an email once a week so if you want to um join that you can find out where i'm doing stand-up all the time yeah i still subscribe to your uh your i noticed that and um i gotta say uh you know it's kind of weird because one of my hobbies right now is unsubscribing i couldn't believe you i have a passion for it lately and uh but jackie you uh you made the cut i made the cut right they're short they're sweet and uh but they are once a week these days yeah i can handle that okay yeah i'm unsubscribing from these things where I bought something there once and they're contacting me every day. Like, I'm not going to need

bong cleaner that right away, you guys. I bought a big bottle. Deanne Smith, what have you got to plug? Hey, well, I would just say if anybody there doesn't know me, you could check out half an hour of my comedy on Netflix, Comedians of the World, under Canada.

So check that out. If you like what you see, follow me on social media. I finally, like literally just last week, got my head around this new reality, so I will be starting to do monthly Zoom stuff of my own. So go to Deanne underscore Smith anywhere, or just Google my name and you'll find it. Oh, great.

Yeah. That sounds good. That was a really smooth plug. It well it's it yeah it's like jesus christ did you write i'm trying to be better at this i normally i would just be like whatever i don't care i used to have business cards that said dn smith on one side and the other side just said google it and i thought that was really funny but then i realized it was also kind of off-putting and like a push pushing people away sort of thing i had business cards i had business cards that said i told jackie cash and she was funny but they didn't usually like women comics and this is this is a card with the names of seven other women comics that are also

very funny and nothing like me yes that is. And then I just picked the first funny seven people on Twitter that year, or that moment when I was ordering that ticket. Thank you all for doing this. I'm going to do, I'm dipping my toes into the headlining on the internet game. I'm going to do a show. I'm going to start talking about it now just to force myself to, uh, start preparing for it. Uh, on October 3rd, Saturday, October 3rd, I'm going to do a, uh, a four 20 Pacific time. Uh,

fun. Yeah. Should be a good time. So will that be your first time doing like a long set? A long set on the internet. Yeah yeah no long set anywhere for a while yeah like because i also you know trying to give myself a little time to i want to have you know enough material but also i hear you with these these shows um i'm doing it with the same company that did maria bamford show recently rush Rush ticks. Yeah. And you can, you kind of hang out after you're set with people. So like it's, it kind of recreates a meet and greet, but, but virtually. Yeah. What I like to do on my zoom shows is scroll through at the end of the show

and make people show, show me their dogs. That's great. I definitely want to see people's dogs I definitely want to see people's dogs. I want to see people's dogs and cats and pets. Thank you. Thank you, Alex Edelman, Jackie Cation, and Deanne Smith. Please come back and see us again sometime soon. I end every episode of the show now with a line, the last line from a movie.

You don't have to guess what it is, but here we go. As always, it's not like that at all. He's my brother. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause

Doug loves movies!