Doug Loves Movies - Alison Rosen, Brooks Wheelan, Andy Haynes, and Bil Dwyer Guest

Episode Date: February 10, 2015

Doug welcomes podcaster Alison Rosen and comics Brooks Wheelan, Andy Haynes, and Bil Dwyer to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, creamy babies, sticky seeds With Tiffany as a popcorn kernel in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you from the UCB Theater in LA. It's in the year 2015 on Tuesday

February 10 starring Dudley Moore and Bo Derek I had a blast and a half interrupting

the final two Twilight movies at San Francisco last weekend as part of the SF Sketch Fest and I look forward to interrupting

Pretty Woman this Friday night at night in Traverse City at the Traverse City Winter Comedy Festival, where I'm also doing a Doug Loves Movies on Saturday at 4.20, and a co-headlining show with the great Todd Berry later that night. Todd Berry, yeah.

Sunday, Doug Loves Movies returns to the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics over there on Sunset at 420-ish in Vancouver, Canada. I'm doing stand-up at the Vogue Theater on Friday, February

20th, but bring your name tags. We'll do some games at the end of the show at DougLovesMvies.com for more info. Now it's time for tweet relief, tweets about movies. Here's a tweet I received from Don't Mind Me 41

the morning after the Grammys. When speeches go long at music awards, they should start playing a movie to hurry them up. This has been a tweet relief. Award show edition. The prize bag is so chock full of stuff.

There's a schmovie in here, of course. I think it's the last one. Doug Loves Movies, I don't know. No, there's no Douglas Movies t-shirts. There's like some Douglas Movies buttons that I've shown you before. But lots of other stuff that we'll go through with the guests. I want to get them out here. As you can see, we've got four chairs set up here tonight.

Please give a big warm welcome to Andy Haynes, Brooks Whelan, Bill Dwyer, and Allison Rosen. Here they come. Pete Holmes Award, Pete Holmes Award. Pete Holmes Award. Oh, she gets it. She wants it. Yay. She went after it.

You really got it. That's Alison Rosen, everybody. She brought stickers that promote her podcast, Alison Rosen is Your New Best Friend, She brought stickers that promote her podcast, Alison Rosen is Your New Best Friend, and a copy of a motion picture starring Jeff Fahey called 100 Below Zero. It's a classic. With the great catchphrase, cold as hell.

It's in Calvin. That Jeff Fahey, he knows. I don't know to what you're referring. This other thing you rocked is this shark attack pack. And it's all these crazy

shark movies, including Shark Island. You know how much you'd have to pay to get them separately? But in this one disc that someone gave me that I'm now giving you, you get it for free, and I hope that person doesn't listen to this. All right. Yeah, that's true.

You're re-gifting that amazing shark pack attack and some sunglasses that are like a fish or something? I think they're thunderbolts. Thunderbolts? And a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ooze action figure of Raphael? Don't act like you're reading that for the first time and you don't have one of your own. I think I don't have anything like this. Well, thank you for bringing all that stuff.

And then you were also shoving out... That's like enough stuff to where you robbed a family. She was... There's a dad thing, a mom thing, and two kid things. That's Brooks Whelan, everybody. First time guest. I've never been on. Brooks Whelan.

She brought some little thunderbolts that you could put on your tennis shoes. Robbed a baby with that one. I was decluttering. She brought some little thunderbolts that you can put on your tennis shoes. Robbed a baby with that one. I was decluttering. What did you bring, Brooks? I just moved back to Los Angeles, and so

I had a bunch of shit scattered everywhere. I was like, I'm going to bring something fun. I looked through my old CDs, and I brought the original Marijuana Logs CD. Yeah, no packaging. Just the CD. Brand new. Is that brand new?

I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure it's in great condition. It probably has some scratches from a 92 Geo Prism that I used to drive. Just lick it. But I used to listen to that thing while I drove all over Iowa. It's the best. Thank you very much. That's awesome.

Who brought the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue? I did. That's Andy Haynes, everybody. Oh, good one, Andy. Try to look at him while I'm showing you this over here. With that obese woman on the front. this over here. With that obese woman on the front. Yeah, it's very confusing

on TV when they say there's an obese woman and they show the cover and you're like, what? She can barely keep her undies on. She's so fat. Bursting out of them. Big fat thing. Feel so sorry for her.

That fupa just pushing him down. Poor big fatty. People were offended by this part right here. Boobs are out in China. Especially the stores where I just stood there and did this all day. Gelson's. Okay.

And then our old friend Bill Dwyer is here, you guys. I am. I'm an old friend of Doug's. We go way back. I brought a deliciously ironic t-shirt of a television show that I just did, unironically.

Yeah! It's back! Oh, Comics Unleashed? It's back, baby! Just as average as before. Listen, Bill, I just gotta ask you, man. What do you think about summer?

Oh, man. Tim Robinson had the best sketch idea about Comics Unleashed. We're right. At the beginning, Byron Allen drops all the cards. So he doesn't know what to ask. He's like, so Bill, you was just at the zoo, right? No, that was you, Andy.

You were at the zoo. Okay, which one of you is, hi, my name's Byron Allen. Okay. That's not my idea. That's Tim Robinson. You just have to throw out some kind of a noun, and somebody would have something out my idea. That's Tim Robinson. You just have to throw out some kind of a noun and somebody would have something out of it. Driving, the mall, zoo, dolphins.

And then everyone does their bit. There's really no interaction at all if you ever watch that show. Nothing. Worse than this. Could you table that for Doug Loves TV? Absolutely.

I also brought one last thing in the prize bag. I think this was a name tag last week here from our friend at Balloonski. The balloon that he made that's supposed to be me. It's really in bad shape. What are you, a swimsuit model? The joint in my

hand, though, that's really holding up nicely. It's just that I'm really falling apart over here. That's a piece of art. I think my head's pointed the wrong way. That's literally amazing. That's the most elaborate balloon I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. This guy does amazing work. Go to

Balloonski. B-A-L-L-O-N-S-K-I. It's a great plug for him. Yeah. Polish fella. Yeah. Balloonski. Imagine where I was shortened from. So all of that is going to be somebody's tonight. All of it?

All of that stuff. All of it? Yes. That's all in the prize bag. Do you remember how all this stuff works tonight, Bill? Yeah, I do. But I wouldn't mind keeping these, though. Swings. Make your shoes fly. I want to give them to you. I don't But I wouldn't mind keeping these, though. Swings.

Make your shoes fly. I want to give them to you. I don't know if I have the authority to do that. What does that mean? He wants them, and I'm saying I want to just hand them. Oh, yeah, you can have them. No, I won't wear them. So you lied when you said I wanted them.

I do that sometimes. Okay. I don't know who you are anymore. And also. I do that sometimes. Okay. I don't know who you are anymore. That's weird. And also before I didn't either. Yeah. A lot of levels. Nothing has changed in the 11 minutes that this program has been.

Allison, have you been to the motion pictures lately? Or seen something at home on whatever kind of device you watch movies on? Oh, I don't know if you noticed, Doug, but I have more free time lately. So, yes, I have. I caught up on Her, which I had wanted to see for a while. And I really liked it. I've been a fan of Joaquin Phoenix since back in the Leaf Phoenix days. The Best Picture nominee from last year.

Yeah, I'm au courant. I like Joaquin in Memphis. What is that? I'm gonna go. Where you turn? And then I also... Where you turn?

I just had James Gunn on my podcast, so I re-watched Guardians of the Galaxy and loved it again. Oh, James Gunn is awesome. Yes, I know he was on this show recently too, right? Mm-hmm. He did the little dance. The baby Groot dance.

Mm-hmm. That was awesome. Michael Rooker, not good at knowing anything about movies. But super nice guy. What did you say you saw? I saw her.

Oh yeah. I noticed you not taking that in the first time I said it. No, I took it in too much. The whole movie was flashing through my head because I just saw it recently on HBO and was kind of sucked into it. I was like, I'll watch for a few minutes,

and then I watched the whole thing. And I really like it. I did too. I didn't realize how stylized it was going to be. And I liked that about it. It's very stylized it was going to be and i liked that about it it's very stylized and it's also but like it felt like as close to uh poetry as movies get if i could dare say that you just did and it's depressing as fuck tonally it kind of reminded me and by the way this is not

funny of um eternal sunshine in a spot was mine which I also really liked. Yes, totally, yes. And where the wild things are. No, totally, not totally. Bill, what about you? I saw the Weary of Everything. No, it was the Theory of Everything.

Jesus. Whoa, wait a second. It was that thing. Okay. Right? That's what it's called, right? The Theory of Everything? Yes. Stephen Haw wait a second. How tedious was that thing? Okay. Tedious? Right? That's what it's called, right? The Theory of Everything? Yes. Stephen Hawking. I saw the movie.

And I just couldn't get past the fact that he looked like Austin Powers throughout the whole movie. Like, Jesus. Can I get some laughs? I don't even like Austin Powers, but I was craving something. This is acting. This is contorting. This is acting. This is contorting. This is what it is.

God. That movie just... Somebody! Let's go for a walk. Don't go see The Elephant Man on Broadway. Whatever you do, it's just Bradley Cooper going, I'm not handsome! No, no, no.

That was... They did that on TV years ago. I'm not handsome. No, no, no. I'm not doing it. Meh. That was a... They did that on TV years ago. Like when I was a kid, man. Back in the early 80s, maybe. Like the Elephant Man was on TV. Like that. And not with makeup. Just somebody...

I don't even know who it was. But then he dies because he wanted to lay down. I saw Billy Crudup doing that. Spoiler alert. Didn't David Bowie do it at some point? Yeah. Maybe he played the doctor. I don't know.

It has a rich history of not using special effects. David Bowie? No, the elephant man. Oh, yeah. Brooks. Go? Okay. I just saw Boyhood, which was great.

It should have been called Three Dope Dads. I saw Whiplash, which I dug, because it's just watching a dude bully nerds for an hour and a half. I liked Foxcatcher a bunch, because I grew up wrestling. I really enjoyed that. I saw a bunch. I lived incatcher a bunch because I grew up wrestling. I really enjoyed that. I saw a bunch.

I lived in New York and it's fucking cold so you just see movies. I saw like most of the movies. It was awesome. I saw a homeless, maybe not a homeless guy, but a crazy guy.

I was walking on Houston in the lower east side. I saw a crazy guy roasting movie posters alone. I was walking by him. He just would stop at a movie poster and make fun of it and then move to the next movie poster.

It was fucking beautiful. I just saw him stop in front of Foxcatcher. He goes, I don't know gay PE teacher. And he moved on to the next one. It was fucking wonderful. Bill, get him on your show. Yeah.

I left. I'm really bummed I didn't just be like, do more, do more. I left because I was like, he's probably going to ask me for money now. But it was really cool. Anyway, see a gay PE teacher. Steve Carell is great in it. Good answer. Did you see the Oscar screeners?

Is that what you mean? No, well, I just, those movies seemed good. I didn't get any of the screeners, so I just went to the theaters. My manager kept all my screeners, which I just found out about. I was like,

why didn't I get any screeners? She's like, oh, I had them sent to my office. I was like, goddammit. I've got voting to do. Yeah, yeah, I've got voting to do. Yeah, I've got voting to do.

Yeah, exactly. What about you, Andy? Oh, by the way, I should mention that Andy, along with Tony Hinchcliffe and I, the three of us, are going to be the comedy entertainment on the 311 cruise. Yeah. That's real? That's fucking awesome. Okay. I want to do that is that real

is that a real thing it's going to be my third out of this will be their fourth cruise I believe and it's one of the best things that's ever happened I want to do that for the Kid Rock cruise I want to be that guy they don't think they get humor though as much as 311

they probably have a comedian I got to be that guy. They don't think they get humor, though, as much as 311. They probably have a comedian. I got to figure it out. You don't have to have somebody come out there and shout for a while. I just want to film that experience that you guys have. Okay. Who else is on that cruise? Doug? It's a bunch of other bands that are handpicked by 311 and their management.

It's a really kind of a nice eclectic mix of music. But the 311 fans are just, they are very much into it. Most of them have it tattooed on their body somewhere. Or at the very least, it's in their Twitter handle. Which I think is a big commitment to any one one band so they're they're really uh people love them and we're going to jamaica and then we're going to jamaica we're just really all the all the shows they do though you're just on the on the top deck of the boat so you're just like on a boat set you know actually you know cool music instead of just uh

you know somebody playing hot hot hot, hot on a fucking steel drum 24-7. Does that one guy still go by Peanut? Yeah, Peanut. He's been on this show, as a matter of fact. I love that. Yeah, I love knowing a guy

named Peanut. I really do. I opened for Ludacris at the University of Florida a few months ago. It was the worst experience of my life. I saw this movie called Start Up. It was on Amazon.

Who said? He's really great, that Australian actor. He was in like. Russell Crowe. Nope. Dark Knight. Jon Hamm. The guy in Killing Them Softly that's like the dirt bag.

You know who I'm talking about. He's in a lot of stuff. Heath Ledger. Ed Lorenzo. Australian Dark Knight, Heath Ledger. No. Guy Pearce, is it? No, he's like...

I can't think of it, but it was really great. And then I also saw that... Well, hang on a second, Grandma. I want to figure this one out. He's like not famous yet, but he's got... You guys all know him. He's great. He's got like gray hair,

and he just plays like the worst guy ever in everything. But he's great at it. Did everybody see Killing Them Softly? And remember the guy that like takes care of the dogs and then he's talking about having sex with a prostitute and he gives up their cover? Hey guys, don't...

What? That's his name. There he is. Ben Mendelsohn is what we were looking for? Alright everybody. Keep an eye out for Mendelsohn is what we were looking for? All right, everybody. Keep an eye out for Bendelsohn. Bendelsohn. He's great. Hashtag Bendelsohn.

Well, I'm having a blast just talking to you guys, but this is the part where I have to say, let the games begin. Lady and gentlemen, I'd like you to go out into the audience and select the name tags you'd like to play for. There's a lot of wrestling in the crowd tonight. Pretty awesome. Pretty awesome name tag turnout tonight.

And while you guys do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. And we're back. Andy Haynes, who are you playing for tonight? I'm playing for Cameron Crowe's feet. Well, that's clever. It's a hard one to say. Okay.

It's two possessives. Cameron's Crowe's feet. Cameron Crowe. Cameron Crowe's feet. Yeah. It's a fun piece of art they made there I like it Yeah alright cool Who are you playing for

Brooks Hannah She put it on Oreos So I I think I get to keep The Oreos That's a genius move I think

Yeah he gets to keep it Right Hannah Oh hell yeah Thank you so much Yeah that's basically a bribe To get you to pick that It's that easy It worked

I'm really proud of all of us. Bill, who are you playing for? I'm playing for the good, the bad, and the Abby. Oh, she really... Maple syrup, not for me. Don't say it! And Allison? I'm playing for Gabriel, who put his name on a real genius poster,

which I love, because it's one of my favorite movies. They do it the same way that Abby did. It's just like a square with his face in it, plastered over the original head. I like it. It's an interesting look. Gabriel genius.

He truly is. Do we hear from Mark Wahlberg yet? No. Oh, shoot. Mark Wahlberg was going to send us a line for tonight, but hopefully he's okay. Our prayers and thoughts go out to him and all his family.

Everybody at Wahlburgers. Mark Wahlberg might listen to this? I gotta up my talking about pussy game. I don't think... You gotta up your listening to this game. Are you excited about the Entourage movie? I mean, I'm more excited for the

Pretend movie. That one where he's the DJ in Japan. I want to see that fucking thing. What movie? The movie within the movie. Yeah, the trailer is like the beginning. You're like, what did they do? Because it's Vinny DJing

in Japan and then it's like I'll be like, what'd you do? And I want to see that movie. That's a really good Ari impersonation. Yeah, I know. I was on SNL. It was pretty good. Cookie Monster. That's why I got fired.

Brooks, can you do Ari? Alright, you gotta go, man. Is that how it went down? Yeah, that's pretty much how it went down. Brooks Whelan At least you got Don Pardo You got in on the cut off on that That's pretty sweet Cause now it's Daryl Quiet Hammond

Brooks Whelan Look it's all good I'm just excited to play for Hannah right now I'll tell you that good old Hannah Oreo everybody did a great job this week with the name tags I'm very proud

and based on our time constraints we'll see how this first game works out this might be the only game we play tonight just depends on based on our time constraints. We'll see how this first game works out. This might be the only game we play tonight. It just depends on how quickly it goes. Well, at this rate. Yeah, right?

I'm slowing it down to talk about how I hope it doesn't get slowed down. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Yeah. Yeah. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Yeah. Jordan, have you ever suggested someone for this? Were you good at it?

Did you give us a good one? I think so. Who would you nominate in this crowd to help us out tonight and give us a really good one? That guy with the beard and the hat. That guy with the beard and the hat. The guy with the beard and the hat. Oh, that narrows it down. Wow, so...

Okay, everybody. Everybody. Actor, actress, or director with a very large body of work. Lots of movies. For us to name. Cate Blanchett. Cate Blanchett.

I like that. Have we done that before? Cate Blanchett? All right. I'll play two. Damn it. Allison, you can go first, though. What happens if I draw a blank?

I cannot think of one Cate Blanchett movie. You can totally think of one. Just breathe for a second. Stop looking at... She looks like all those other blonde people. Gabriel Genius. Stop looking at that poster. Do you put a shit in on the back?

Because you're probably going to read it. I hope you win, Allison. Damn it. Sorry. I'm sorry, Gabriel. I honestly can't. I feel like maybe once the Cate Blanchett seal is broken, then they'll flood to me. But I honestly, there's not one coming to me.

OK, well, don't worry, because you can pass once. Oh, good. Oh, no, I think I'm going to save that. Did you think of one while I was saying that? Because I was joking around about being able to pass. Oh. Well, was she in I Heart Huckabees?

No. Well, then that's that other blonde woman. All right, so you're out. I wish we were doing her. So that's what I was thinking. We might need to play another game. Bill? I know there's a...

I'm drawing a blank, too. I know she... I know she's played... I'm drawing a blank, too. I know she... I know she's played... She's going to be devastated if she hears this. I know. She's like, so famous. The great Cate Blanchett, right? Wasn't she just...

Right? That Woody Allen movie, right? Whatever that one was? Flowers for Algernon. You're just helping... What was it called again? Okay, good. Radio Days.ernon. You're just helping. What was it called again? Okay, good. Radio Days.

Good guess. Radio Days. No. Are we doing a. All right, Bill, you're out. Deanne Wiest. Oh, she'd be good. Oh, yeah, she'd be good.

We know lots of Deanne Wiest movies. Why not Gene Hackman? The package. God rest his soul. Why not so many, so many options. Cate Blanchett. I thought that was... You should have protested quicker on this.

I think I have one. All right, Brooks has it. No, you're out. Well, you gave it to me. Is it Blue Jasmine? Yeah. Blue Jasmine! You said the Woody Allen movie!

I know that. I tried to stop him from giving out those kind of clues. You helped me. Thank you. That's good, man. There's one about the queen, Andy. Andy, you got a fake bill. Hey, where were you when I went?

What are you doing? I don't know if you and I will ever enjoy each other's company. There's obviously attention and it's not sexual. You knew these movies, but you're falling on a sword for us? What is happening? Well, I like Andy a lot.

You have really grown to enjoy it and I don't really know Allison too well. No, but you didn't do any. Why did you pass? You said none, but you know two. Well, Doug shut me down. He didn't let me pass when I started. You're not allowed to pass. You get to pass once. Yeah, you're out, Bill.

You get to pass once. Yeah, you're out, Bill. You get to pass once. I'm not there. Yes. Good one. I'm supposed to be writing these down. So the first one was Blue Jasmine. And then I'm not there. And I'll go with...

The Monuments Men. Wow, good one. Monuments Men, where she played that French-German woman. Monuments Men. Yeah. All right, you two are out. Back to Brooks. Well, Bill gave me the other one.

Allison's out? Apparently I'm out. Yeah, you guys are both out. He gave me the other one, but I can't think of... What are we called, right? Queen Elizabeth? No, that's not it. Oh, no, that's not it.

I guess I'm out. Nice try. You're a queen. Nice try. All right. It's on you now, Andy. Come on, Andy. You can do it, man.

There was that Billy Bob Thornton and Bruce Willis movie. She was in it. Oh, my God. Come on. Come on, Andy. Sorry could do it, man. There was that Billy Bob Thornton and Bruce Willis movie. Oh my God. Come on. Come on, Andy. Sorry, Allison. Come on, Andy. You know this one, Andy. There was that one. Come on.

It's like you quit a bowling match but then stuck around and kept giving pointers on how to bowl. I think I'm wrong. I'm wrong when I say Michael Clayton, right? That's the other British skinny lady. Tilda Swinton. Yeah, fuck.

All right. So who even won that? You got to give one, though, Doug. If you win it. I'll win it, but I'm not playing for anybody or anything. I just played along. So I'm trying to figure amongst you, who did the best? Andy.

Yeah. I'd say Andy because I wouldn't have known. Because I thought of one. What's the one I'm thinking of with Billy Bob Thornton and Bruce Willis? What? Bandits. Is that it? I'm going to go with

Lord of the Rings The Two Towers. Oh, of course. She's in all the Lord of the Rings. She's in all those. We could have done a run on those. It's hard to remember after the colon part, though.

Great job, you guys. Oh, we got plenty of time, though. Yeah. No, that means that was a warm-up for a much more difficult and complicated game. We'll do better. So who did we decide was the winner of that one? Andy.

Andy won. Andy won. All right, you get to go first then in a game of Leonard Maltin. Leonard Maltin game. Leonard Maltin. I thought we'd get some actor, you know, that we'd name like 50 movies between the five of us, but we got to about four. Keith Blanchett was a great choice, though.

Yeah. He was. Yeah, if you wanted a challenge, he was a great choice. No, no, she's like the Kevin Bacon. She's been nominated for Academy Awards, hasn't she? Like a bunch. Hasn't she won one? Six.

Aviator. She won for Blue Jasmine. Or Blue Jasmine, yeah. She won Best Actress for Blue Jasmine won one. Six. Aviator. She won for Blue Jasmine. Or Blue Jasmine, yeah. She won Best Actress for Blue Jasmine, but was nominated for Aviator. Yeah, she did Audrey Hepburn, right? She played a Hepburn. Kind of a Catherine Hepburn, yeah.

An earlier Hepburn. She did Catherine Heigl. A Hepburn. She was Catherine Heigl. She played Catherine Heigl in 27 Dresses. In the Catherine Heigl. She played Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses. In the Katherine Heigl story. She played Howard Hughes in 27 Dresses.

She played Howard Hughes in Fingernails. She was a third jar of piss. Wait, didn't she play Amelia Earhart? Yeah, I just... No, wait. Who that was? Hillary Swank. Oh, why don't we do Hillary Swank? Yeah. That would... No, wait. Who that was? Hilary Swank. Oh! Why didn't we do Hilary Swank?

Yeah. That would have been great. That would have been much better. The boxer, Hilary Swank, right? She was in that. Oh, yeah, the worst. No, no, no. The worst. That was the fighter.

The fighter. That was what she was in. Please stop. Boys don't cry. She was in Rocky. Just Rocky Balboa. Rocky 6. She played Tommy Machine Gun.

Susan out of the furnace, right? Tommy Machine Gun. P.S. I love you. P.S. Yes. I love you. I one time met Hillary Swank and I was working at a cafe in her hometown

of Bellingham, Washington and to be funny I went, I really loved you in the next Karate Kid. It was right after she'd won the Oscar. Did she, was she, oh, that's very funny. She rolled away in laughter.

It was like she turned into a Tasmanian devil. I thought she was in a wheelchair when you said she rolled away from that movie. She had Professor X's chair. She floated away. Yeah. All right, so Andy gets to go first.

Yeah. Then we'll go to Brooks, and Andy gets to pick a category. Oh. Settle down, Bill. It's exciting. I love the action. No more hints about things. Keep it to yourself

I kind of like when he does that it's very helpful Inherent Lice which of course is summer camp movies did a great job hosting the Grammys the other night what a fun funny dude this is LOL Cool J.

That's comedies with LOL Cool J in them. No, really? No, really? I was able to find two, Bill. Okay, let's not do that one. All right, settle down like I was trying to say earlier.

You did say earlier. And the Babadookie. That's horror movies that Leonard gave two stars or less. I'm going to do Inherent Lice, because I was a camp counselor for 10 years. There you go. That's a failed up. That's a good one. Nice work.

Yeah. You might be disappointed, though, by this. Because... The Parent Trap. Two stars. The original. No pre-guessing. Okay. Two stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from the year is 1980.

1980. He says one of the actors in this movie Easily out acts Their co-star With a solid performance And also This movie is not As sleazy as it sounds

Oh Oh Bill Settle down Eight names Wait a second Nine names Oh, Bill. Settle down. Eight names. Wait a second. Nine names. How many names can you get it in out of nine?

Oh, shh. I think I know what movie it is, so I'm going to try it. Do I want to go zero names then? Well, that's a... Of course, you can go in a negative name. I'm going to say four names. Oh, okay. Just to be safe. Brooks, can you bid less? going in negative names. I'm going to say four names. Oh, okay. Just to be safe.

Brooks, can you bid less? No. I would say I would need nine and not get it. So I guess you're getting a corner that you might just

have to say to Andy, name that movie. But I... Could you... I don't want to do that because I think it's more fun

if other people... I'll say three. I'll say I can do that because I think it's more fun if other people I'll say three. I'll say I can do it in three. But then the next person's going to say never mind. He's basically saying it'd be more fun if Andy didn't win. Why should Andy get to show off? I'll go one.

He says he only needs one name, Allison. One goddamn name. That's all I'll go one. I'll go one. He says he only needs one name, Allison. One goddamn name. That's all I need, Allison. I'll go zero. Because I feel like I know what movie it is, but I feel like I might have the name wrong.

That's the problem. Okay, well, we'll see about that. How about you, Andy? How are you feeling, huh? It's miraculously back around to Andy Haynes. I'll say zero, I guess.

She said zero, so you have to go negative one, which is you have to name the movie and the top-billed person in the film. Ooh! Or negative two. I could say, I bet they're not top-billed. Now, I bet they're not top-billed when the movie was made, though, right?

Or does that matter? I don't know exactly where these are dug up from. It's just sometimes it's kind of arbitrary. You have to take your best shot. Generally, it's the most famous people, whatever. Negative one. I'm going to cry. This is negative one, Brooks.

Name that movie. Name that movie. I tried to make that happen a long time ago. Is it meatballs? Hang on a second. Yeah. Not as racy as it sounds. You have to say

the name of the movie and the top billed performer then once you've said all that then I'll tell you if you're correct or not. I already got it wrong, I guess. Meatballs and Bill Murray? No, I'm sorry. The answer is Little Darlings.

Sounds pretty sleazy now, doesn't it? Right, I know. And it's about the girls racing to lose their virginity at summer camp. I knew it! It's a contest about getting fucked. Is it Jodie Foster and Christy McNichol? Is it one and two?

It's Tatum O'Neal and Christy McNichol? Is it one and two? It's Tatum O'Neil and Christy McNichol. Damn it! I would have lost anyway, so... Oh, but you really knew it was Little Darlings? I thought it was Little Foxes. Yes, I was going back and forth between Little Darlings and Little Foxes. Really?

How weird. Because there's like a Fox Force 5 something that had those girls in it, I think. Oh, really? Little Darling doesn't sound racy to me because... Brooks Whelan is on the board, and yes, as someone said in the audience. Well done, Brooks. Well played.

Fox Force 5 was in Pulp Fiction. See? Oh. Yeah. All right, so what happened there? Who got, oh, Brooks challenged. Right. So Brooks gets the

points. Yeah, you got the point and now Rosen, Allison gets to pick the next category and then it's going to come at you, Bill. Okay. So be ready. Okay. Want to do some lines? That's motion pictures where

there's a conga line breaks out. Or the cocktail category which is movies that have drinks named after them or for them at the bar at the Arclight Cinemas here in Hollywood.

And nobody ever picks that one. bar at the Arclight Cinemas here in Hollywood. And nobody ever picks that one. That's my favorite bar, so. Please. That dive? And we're going to need a bigger goat, which is, of course, movies that are set on a farm.

So do you want a farm, a conga line, or a drink named after it? It's definite between farm and conga line. And I'm going to go... He was trying to push that drinks thing. Conga line.

Okay. Somebody in the audience really had an emotional reaction. I just want to have my next birthday at the Arclight bar. We'll get fucked up. Okay, so Leonard calls this movie a bomb.

Doesn't care for this movie at all. 1993 is the year. Leonard calls this movie witless. He says it's a debacle. I like that a bunch. Oh, boy. A debacle?

A film. It was a debacle. Yeah. They dropped the camera halfway through. Yeah. And then the kids ran onto the set, and they just kept filming them. It was a fucking debacle.

Listen, you guys, it's a witless debacle from 1993 where a conga line breaks out, and there's seven names listed. How many names can you get it in? Allison Rosen is your new best friend. I'm supposed to start. No, it's just going to start

with Allison. It'll go to you. I thought she picked and then I started. No, that's not how that works at all. He did say that. Okay. It's like Doug's driving a car and you're in the back being like, what the fuck? No, that's not how that works at all. He did say that. Okay. No, I said it would go to him next. It's like Doug's driving a car and you're in the back being like, what the fuck, man? You said we'd stop here.

Doug's driven with me, too. I'm just like that. I can name this in four names. Three. Oh. Brooks. Two. What. Oh. Brooks? Two. What the hell is happening?

Andy? He obviously can't name it. So name that movie, Brooks. All right, so you get two names. Are they the top or the bottom? They're the bottom. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I listened to this a while ago.

I love this. I tried to keep this game from you guys tonight, but we had plenty of time. So your two names. Okay. Are Steve James and Tom Wright. Okay. I won't play.

So that's no help at all. I'm not doing witness protection now. You might have already had a sense of what you think it might be. No that's no help at all protection you might you might have already had a sense of what you think it might be no i didn't at all just give it just guess uh i will i'm not gonna wait this debacle with a conga line in it uh i won't waste anybody's time um i i have no fucking clue uh i'll just say um i literally have no idea and I know this movie came out that movie came out in 91 I don't even know movies that came out in 91 Philadelphia

I think that came out in 93 yeah seven names in Philadelphia there wasn't any stars in that movie there wasn't too much wit I gotta say but you remember the conga line. It was also a debacle. Yeah.

I just tried to think of a movie from 93. Philadelphia. A goddamn mess. Bomb. Philadelphia. Bomb. Alright. So this actual movie is this is a this is a tricky one i'd be amazed if anybody

ever figured it out uh it's a motion picture called weekend at bernie's two i have a fucking joke about weekend at bernie's too you do it's uh it's just like the only way i'll believe that film is if the phrase, I honestly can't believe this is happening again, is used 700 times. That's all they say the whole movie. Or, I'm on vacation, which is what McClane says now. They could have just used Bernie. I'm tired of saying everything. What?

The theory of everything, they? The theory of everything. They could have just put Bernie in the wheelchair and it would have been way better. All right. No, no, he's got a theory. No, no, he's got a theory. A theory for parties. Look, he's waving.

Do they ever say shagadelic in that movie? Theory of everything? No, he kept saying... Does he ever go, gravity is shagadelic, baby. He kept saying, no, baby, no. Have you seen, he wears the same teeth

and the same glasses as Austin Powers. And then he's raising his eyebrows, which is all he can do in one, oh man. I'm telling you, see it.

Is Beyonce in it? Huh? No, but she should have been. I'll tell you. Eddie Redmayne should give back that SAG award. All be home.

All right. Brought that to a grinding halt. Andy's on the board. Andy just got appointed Thank you for knowing nothing Brooks Ah fuck you man That's mean It could have been Philadelphia

I did Philadelphia Did it come out in 93 or 92? I don't know Whatever Okay No one knows Alright

I don't know if anybody knows. I mean, he won an Oscar in like 93. Who's memorizing much of anything about Philadelphia other than... I'm just thinking of what year Tom Hanks won the Oscar for that. I feel like it was in the 93 Oscar. He won two years in a row, didn't he? Yeah, Forrest Gump was like... I was going off Forrest Gump.

It was the year before that. I don't know. 93? 93, it's confirmed. Okay. Thank God. Phew. My dad took me to the movies, and he wanted to see Forrest Gump, and I made him see Baby's Day

Out instead. I stand by it. You were, yeah, that was a good choice. Baby's Day Out is it's so insane how many perils that baby Baby Stay Out is it's so insane how many perils that baby

oh my god is going through and then also how much pain that baby inflicts on the bad guys right it's a prequel

to Mr. Magoo I like that that's Bernd Troyer's first film for real he was the baby double in that film yeah wow

yeah that's real good factoid. I mean, I'm not 100% on that. That's why it's a factoid. I'd say 50% that might be right. No, I think you're right. I think that's accurate. It's a fiction toy.

I heard it was the baby from American Sniper. Yeah, that's true. That's like a thing I'll tell in a garage, but not into a microphone. You tell it into a garage? Like I say, if we're in a garage, I'll throw that's true. I mean, that's like a thing I'll tell in a garage, but not into a microphone. Like, that's why I don't... You tell it into a garage? Like I'm saying, if we're in a garage, I'll throw that fact at you. Why would it be in a garage?

I'm saying I've said that fact out loud to people before, but never into a microphone, which is why I don't understand why Brian Williams lied, like, into cameras. What? I'm just like... I'm saying, like, I'll tell lies if I'm not being recorded. If you're in a garage yeah yeah I get it yeah that makes sense

that's my idea of hanging out what did you say Chris Brooks a garage apologies to put your hands together but this is an

exciting matchup I like how this is going and who just challenged who on that last one? Andy won. Who was the challenger? I challenged him.

You challenged him. No, Andy challenged Brooke. I challenged you. What the fuck? What are you doing? Why are you rewriting history? I challenged him. I said, name that movie.

He said Philadelphia. Allison and I are champing at the bit for a shot to win this game. I'm ready to pick the next category. Right, right. I just want to make sure we go the right direction. So we're going to start with you, Bill, and then go to Allison. So excited. Okay. Wait, I get to pick? Yeah, you get to pick. Okay. Alright.

We're going to need a bigger coat. Movies about coats. That's movies, no, where someone is frozen. Oh. Okay. Someone is frozen. Yeah, red underscore beard 033 suggested, this is a good one, Jurassic Pork.

And that's films where Jeff Goldblum has sex. That's a great one. Yeah, that's a good one. Mm-hmm. And then... Oh, I feel like I did that one already, so I'm going to skip it for now. Apollo 86.

Apollo 86. That's movies where Carl Weathers dies. That one's out. We're not doing that one. Okay, that one's out. What do you think of those other two? Let's go with Jurassic Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love that Jeff Goldblum. Yeah, you looked around at all the guys and made that decision. That's right. I didn't look at Allison. She's ridiculously attractive. Really good looking. I feel like maybe the tension is sexual. She's married, Bill.

Really good looking. That's a weird... That's good looking right there. Look at that right there. I'm pointing right at it. That good looking thing right there. I'm not being gross. All right.

Point at her face. I'm not... Two and a half stars. Just stop pointing. All the pointing is weird. Yeah, this isn't a garage. It's not a safe place. Two and a half stars

from Mr. Maltin for this film that Jeff Goldblum gets to have some sex in. The year is 1986. 1986. And he says about this movie that it is extremely

intense. And he also calls it sharply written. But he lists a mere four names. So this could get ugly fast. How many names can you get it in, Bill? Minus two. Wow.

This is negative two. Well, what are you going to do with that Allison just pray maybe that he's he just seems so confident so now I say how many I can name it in or I challenge him to name it name it alright so you got to name the movie and then the top two

build people in the correct order top person first and I won't say if you're right or wrong until we hear all three of your answers. It's got to be The Fly, Jeff Goldblum, Gina Davis. That is correct. Yeah! Wow. That's exciting. That's just exciting.

I'll point it out. I'll point it out. Exciting! Come on. That's exciting. That's just exciting. I pointed at Allison. I pointed at her. Exciting. That puts me in the lead, right? I'm in the lead right now, right? Like, I'm in the lead. I'm winning, right?

I've never won this. If we stopped right now, I would win, right? No, you're tied. There's a three-way tie for first. Oh, even though I did a negative two, I don't get more points? No, no. You'd normally get included in the Tournament of Championships, but I don't want to have you back on that soon. Shagadelic.

I'm dizzy. People write in after some people are on the show And they'll be like have him back in three years And stuff like that I listen to every single tweet No it's always a pleasure to have you Bill And you are now officially In the tournament of championships If

You win tonight. Oh my God. Yes, you still have to get one more point. Jesus. And this next round starts with Andy gets to pick the category and then we're going to go to Brooks. And Andy gets to choose between

Ken Jennings. That's the category where it's movies where the title is in the form of a question. And then Interstellar got her groove back. The romantic comedies of Matthew McConaughey. And then we're right back around to LOL Cool J.

Comedies with LOL Cool J. I'm going to do... I'll do LOL Cool J. Okay. Oh, man. I know one. The year is 1991. Two and a half stars for this movie

that's got LL LL Cool J in it. Leonard Interesting calls this movie LL. Long, loud. Finally we know what that means long loud cool day um

Leonard says this movie's got some laughs but it all goes out of control any lists uh 12 peoples. 12 actors. How many can you get in 1991's year?

I can get it in six. Andy says he can do it in six names, Brooks. Name that movie. Oh, what a play we have here. I'm only going to win because Andy's stupid. That's my only way to get in. I'm stupid? You hang out in garages.

Yeah, well. You are on SNL and you're wearing an undershirt. Not an undershirt. I'm stupid? This has a pocket. That makes it not an undershirt. Jesus Christ. It's got a decent feel to it. That's it not an undershirt. Jesus Christ.

It's got a decent feel to it. That's the only way I can win. I'm doing a power move. You call me stupid. I'm banking on it. All right. All right, you get six names. And yeah, so thanks for playing, Allison and Bill. But neither one of you have a chance of winning this thing.

My nightmare where I can't stop coughing on stage while doing a podcast is happening right now, so if Lucenders at home are like, who's that person dying? It was me. Do you think you're dying? Hopefully not. I seem to be pulling through. You, you guys.

No, I'm just silently coughing up here. You should have Bill point into your mouth. It's not magical, man. It could be. You don't know yet. That's true. I can't know if we don't try. Just going to point.

It's not going to be anything weird. Just going to point in your mouth. Perfectly normal. If I'm weird, just open your mouth. I'm going to stick my finger in there and point at something. Just touch your uvula. Isn't that what it's called? It's a uvula. Uvula. Uvula Isn't that what it's called? It's a uvula.

Uvula sounds sexual. Weird. Not touching anything. I'm just pointing at things in her mouth. It's not weird. Someone's getting a very musical ringtone over there. Might have been the Bee Gees, I think. It would have been way badass

if you answered hello like that's what I would have really been like that's fucking cool like what if you had held up a finger to us

hey keep it down for a second it's my agent this is my agent it's gotten a lot better though the cell phone shit right at shows and stuff

yeah I think it's gone movies and all that at concerts it's like it's gone back down it's good I think we hit a peak and we're coming back. I think it's gone. Movies and all that? At concerts, it's like it's gone back down. It's good. I think we hit a peak

and we're coming back to enjoying it. It's great. Your six names are Karen Lynn Gorney. That's three names. Remember what movie

she was in? I always have fun with that. I have a signed headshot of her. Christina Ricci. Wow. Delroy Lindo. LL Cool J.

Someone's stopping at Redbox on the way home. Luis Guzman. Ah, yes. That's what you call strip clubs. And John Capodice or Capodice. Hmm. That guy was... That's your six names.

Bill, settle down. I'm just buying some time for Andy. No, we don't need you to do that. Christina Ricci. We didn't wrap this shit up. Luis Guzman. Delroy Lindo. Fuck.

I don't have it. Comedy with LL Cool J. Do you know it, Brooks? No, I don't know it, but I just banked on you not knowing it. It's a tough category. You picked this category. Yeah, all I knew was toys. I was just hoping it was toys.

Guess toys. Guess toys Guess toys Alright I feel like it's in here somewhere I just have to pull back the years of years of drug abuse

Let me ask Brooks a question really quick. Do you think it might be toys? I mean that's what, look look i would guess that just because uh all right yeah i thought it just felt like you're talking him into guessing the wrong answer no but i was saying like i guess philadelphia what did i just say too much what's your answer i don't know you don't even want to guess toys toys I knew it wasn't toys it's a motion picture

that starred Michael J. Fox and James Woods called The Hard Way The Hard Way the cop movie so Brooks Whelan is our winner he got the two points The cop movie. So Brooks Whelan is our winner. He got the two points. Two points.

Andy's stupidity is the real winner here. Over two. How can we call that, that I don't know the hard way, is stupid? I'm sorry. He used to be a scientist. It's a well-played game by Brooks Whelan, I will say that. That's strategy. Just throw it back at Andy.

One time I went camping with Brooks and all he brought was beer, cheese, and summer sausage. I brought a skateboard too. That's a party.

Well, that's great. I'm excited to win. Hannah won. Where is she? Come and get your prize bag, Hannah.

Can you crack those? I'm going to eat these. I feel like it was an even trade now. I got Oreos. You got the marijuana logs. I'm being sincere. That's fucking great.

Yeah, yeah. You can burn your own cover for that marijuana log CD. Not even nothing. You couldn't stop and have gotten a plastic wand at Staples

anything no she has the content that's all you need it's great Allison Rosen is your new best friend podcast

on iTunes very popular check it out anything more specific you need to plug Allison well when they'll hear this on Friday, right? No, tomorrow-ish. Oh, tomorrow.

Okay. Well, check out my James Gunn interview, and then on the next one, next Monday, check out Scott Aukerman. Okay. And follow me on Twitter at Allison Rosen. All right. Thanks for being here.

Thank you. Bill. Bill. Bill Dwyer. Thank you. Bill. Bill. Bill Dwyer. Doug Benson. What do you got coming up, buddy? I'm at Flappers in Claremont this weekend. I'm at Crackers in Indianapolis next weekend.

Everyone thinks you're making things up. I'm not. I'm not. I'll be at Flappers and Crappers and Flappers and Chappers. I thought it was funny as I was saying it in my head. I built another ER club. What's the next club?

And then I'm on the season finale of this season's Children's Hospital which hasn't come out yet. Oh, okay, cool. That's great. Awesome.

It's a good one. Thanks, Bill. It's a good one. I'm sorry you didn't win today so you're not in the Tournament of Championships but it was still a great performance. It was a great job. Yeah, yeah. It was an easy one. I'm sorry you didn't win today, so you're not in the tournament of championships, but it was still a great performance. It was a great job.

Yeah, yeah. It was an easy one. You guys all had one. I liked it when you pointed. Are you going to be in the BattleBots reboot in any way? Maybe they'll have me. I don't know. No one's called.

All right. Well, we're putting the word out now that you need to be a part of it. Like they don't know that already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brooks Whelan, are you excited about going back to New York for the SNL 40 years? No, I am not going back for that. No, come on.

That'd be a fun surprise. Like, just have, like, a lineup of people that were fired. Yeah. Eddie Murphy and Brooks Whelan. Yeah, no, I'm not kidding. Somebody was like, are you going to that? I was like, no. They were like, they invited Eddie not... Somebody was like, are you going to that? I was like, no. They're like,

they invited Eddie Murphy. I was like, we had different careers there. How the hell did Eddie Murphy get an invite? Exactly. We're not quite the same book.

He's not going to show up or if he does, he's going to do something that's very inconsequential. I'll bet he shows up. He'll introduce a clip or something. I'll bet he shows up.

All right. I don't care. Of course. I'm sorry they got rid of you. That sucks. I bet you he shows up. All right. I don't care. Of course. I'm sorry they got rid of you. That sucks. No, it's totally fine. That sucks. What's going on, Brooks?

Where are you going to be? Flappers and crappers and snackers and laughters? Are you no snappers, you son of a bitch? I'm featuring for Bill at Clappers. No, I just, back in L.A., I have a new album out. It's called This Is Cool Right. Just listen to it. It's good. I think, maybe. Are you going to a new album out. It's called This Is Cool Right. Just listen to it. It's good.

I think, maybe. Are you going to be on the girls' 40th anniversary? I'll be on girls' 40th anniversary. That's for sure. Yeah, that's great. I invite it back to that one. Cool. And I'll be camping with Andy next weekend in Joshua Tree,

if anybody wants to. Camping with Andy. Are you pitching ways for your character to follow Hannah back to New York City? No, I think it was just, I think she was just like, it'd be fun. Brooks is from Iowa.

Do my show. And I was like, that was fun. Thank you. And then, yeah, I was like, so what am I doing? Yeah, now your character's stuck in fucking Iowa. Yeah, he's stuck in Iowa book, which is fine.

It's a reference for people who went to Iowa. God damn it, guys. I was going strong. I should have just fucking got out of here. Andy Haynes, we're going to be on the 311 cruise together. That's going to be a blast. It's Jamaica. It's Jamaica, man.

And then when we get there, you get on a private island. You don't get to really see Jamaica at all. Oh, great. But it's a neat island. Cool. I'll wave to Jamaica and all the other Caribbean islands. You don't want to go into real Jamaica. No? It's crazy. Oh, great. But it's a neat island. Cool. I'll wave to Jamaica and all the other Caribbean islands. You don't want to go into real Jamaica. No? It's crazy in there, yeah.

Okay. I... You have the worst Uber down there. I have an album called Greatest Hits, and it's not new, but nobody ever bought it, so maybe you could change that. Andy had my favorite new joke I've heard in like six months about getting divorced, people let you away with stuff.

Can I tell this joke? It's funny to me. I've told a lot of people Andy's joke. I don't know if it's going to translate or if it's the right time to do it. Okay, yeah, you're right, all right. Also, we're not in a garage, you know what I mean? Andy has my new favorite joke of the last six months. Listen to his album, you're right. Also, we're not in a garage, you know what I mean? Andy has my new favorite joke

of the last six months. Listen to his album, it's great. It's at I'm Andy Haynes. Your album, that's what it's called? No,

it's called Greatest Hits. And his Twitter handle is 2Haynes. Yes. Thank you to all of you for being here. 2Haynes.

Thank you. You're welcome, Doug. Brooks Whelan. Thanks, Dougan Bill Dwyer and Allison Rose and as always Maple Syrup not from Vermont is a shithead

leaving the UCB theater is a shithead I'm not leaving I don't know why Now I really want to see this Zachary Quinto in the slap trailer Is a shithead Now it's time for Doug to watch another Pocky Eyes of gold and viewing prowess makes him shithead.