Doug Loves Movies - Amy Miller, Dan Van Kirk and Clarke Wolfe guest

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

Doug welcomes Amy Miller, Dan Van Kirk and Clarke Wolfe to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies And I'm coming to you once again from Tomorrowland, where me and my guests will be phoning it in.

It's Sunday, April 12, 2020. Easter, my least favorite so-called holiday. The only thing I like about Easter is Easter eggs, and I can look for those any day of the year in a James Gunn movie. Doug plugs. I'm hoping to do Doug Lowe's movies at Wise Guys in Salt Lake City on Saturday, June 13th at 420. We'll see.

Let's say hello, and how do you do to my guests, Amy Miller, Clark Wolf, and Dan Kirk. Hello. What's up? I should have those guys to play the Three Stooges on because then they can go,

hello, hello, hello. Because you guys were pretty harmonious. Thanks. I should say you ladies. I'll be you ladies. You can. I'll be a guy. No, Dan ruined it.

He was all like. Let's say hello to everybody individually and alphabetically, starting with. Hello, Amy Miller. Hi, Doug. Welcome to our future. This is how we're going to do it from now on. Where do I put my stuff for the prize bag?

Well, that's one of the things that's out the window with the phone-it-in version of Doug Lowe's movies. We can't do name tags, can't do audience participation. Sometimes that's okay. I think so. I think it's kind of going to be a little bit of a fun change of pace, you know, and if people like these episodes doing it this way, there's no distance restrictions, you know, you have to work out the time zones,

but I could have guests on more often that that uh that don't live in los angeles you know what i mean yep i do know what you mean this is uh i think this is kind of a fun way to do the show well i'm excited to be doing this um because i i pretty much i was wide open. Nothing, not much going on today. Not a big Easter celebrator? I mean, I got dressed up for it, but we're not even fucking using video. So this is a waste. Well, I'll get to it right now. I always ask my guests on these shows, you know,

and I say always this is the second one, but I ask everyone to please send me a picture of either what you're looking at or what you look like in your uh environment while uh doing this so i can then share it on the internet with everybody like this is what everybody looked like while we were uh gathering remotely okay good i'll make it really cute. Yeah, make it a really cute picture. Also joining us, speaking of really cute, it's Dan Van Kirk, everybody.

Yay. Hello. How you doing, Dan? I'm good, buddy. How about yourself? I just never because you're always sitting there and I'm looking right at you. I've never really noticed what a sexy voice you have. Thanks. I'll take it.

Now I'm very conscious of my voice. That's perfect. That's exactly where I want you to be right now. How's your Easter going? Perfect. I'm not celebrating the day that three friends said that their body just came back to life. And yeah, I'm going to maybe watch some of that new, what's it called? That show Money Heist. And I might watch Killing Them Softly, the movie with Brad Pitt later today.

Really? Yeah. Did you ever see that movie? I'm sure you did. I did. I did. I really liked it, but I don't remember it at all, so I'm looking forward to watching it again. Yeah, you got to check out our friend Scoot McNary's in that one. He's so good, man. Yeah.

And Ben Mendelsohn is in it. There's a lot of great people in it. Ray Liotta, talking about Chantix. Crazy. No, he isn't. Yeah, it's really, that's all he talks about. People didn't know that it was an ad. There's no way that that comes up. It's the first thing he mentioned. I can't believe that.

Well, thank you for being here, Dan, and also joining us, another favorite from Douglas, we used to do. It's cool, everybody. Hello. Hi. Hi. I haven't spoken on the phone to practically anybody for years. If I'm on the phone, something happens.

We have to talk. So it's weird to have a pleasant, friendly conversation. How's your Easter so far, Clark? Well, it's good. I don't celebrate Easter, but today is actually my birthday. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. I can't believe I even knew that ahead of time,

and I totally screwed up and didn't write it down. No, that's okay. That's okay. Thank you. Thank you very much. I feel bad that you have to bring it up yourself. Oh, no. Well, I wasn't going to talk about Easter.

You want us to sing? That's the world we're in now. You know, maybe. Maybe later. It depends. All right. Let's sing an Easter song for Clark's birthday. It depends. All right. Let's sing a, let's sing an Easter song for Clark's birthday. Happy Easter. Did that ever happen before that Easter and your birthday fell on the same date?

Yes, it's happened many times. And actually, so I always, I really do always make the joke that my birthday being April 12th, there is always Coachella, Game of Thrones, Easter, Passover, always Coachella, Game of Thrones, Easter, Passover, Star Wars celebration, taxes. Like my, I mean, don't get me wrong. 420. Yeah, 420 for those who are getting a head start. So, and I remember, yeah, I'll make a start. And I remember one year I actually threw a brunch and my birthday was on Sunday, Easter 12th, or Easter 12th, April 12th. And it was on

Easter. And I thought, well, it's Los Angeles. And like, you know, Easter's not that big of a deal, right? And then I was so wrong. People take this holiday very seriously, unbeknownst to me. Yeah. Like they really, people really spend this holiday with their family. When I was growing up, it was just like bunnies. And also, someone in my family, their dad's Jewish, and so it's like whatever. So I didn't know that this was a big deal. But, you know, happy Easter to those who celebrate. Yeah, and I don't know what they're doing today about it,

you know, sitting at home by themselves. I guess you could have your own little private egg hunt yeah they're eating a bunch of those eggs they hoarded also egg hunt just like you can't say it too fast very true try it uh okay so thanks thank you to the three of you for being here. We'll chat about movies a little bit if there's time at the end. But, you know, I figure we might as well do a more economical show since there's an audience that paid to get in to see it. So I'm going to say right now, Let the games begin! Nice.

It's like, how'd you get, Doug, how'd you get Tom Hardy on this show? You know, he's, uh, he's. Just to pop in. He's bored. He doesn't celebrate Easter either. It's so, it's crazy who you can get right now to do things because, uh, you know, they're just bored and sitting around all day. They just, you know, they say yes to things like this. So thank you, Tom, for that. No problem.

All right. We're going to start with a game called How Much Did This Shit Make? Okay. Very popular game on the show over the years. Thought this is a good time to bring it back since the economy is finished. We might as well talk money. Sure.

I'll name a movie and then you all guess how much it made not adjusted for inflation according to boxofficemojo.com. If guys hear me typing i'm i'm doing something else okay no that's totally cool me too yeah oh yeah i guess we have to be on the uh the old honor system with this are we doing like price is right rules doug are we trying to get the number exactly

you know i love price is right rules i do i do know we trying to get the number exactly? You know I love Price is Right rules. I do. I do know that. And just like Price is Right, if you get the number exactly, you automatically win $250. Excellent. Okay. Oh, shit.

I need that. So I better not hear those typing fingers, Amy. Okay. I'll do it on my phone. Yeah. okay i'll do it on my phone and um yeah so it's uh it's a movie that you probably have all heard of okay um we'll go in the same order uh that i uh introduced everybody uh alphabetically i'm sorry clark that must really kick your butt your whole life it's okay my name and my birthday. No big deal. My name is always last alphabetically and my birthday's on Easter. No big deal. Totally cool. Totally cool.

Okay. Here we go. I guess order doesn't matter that much in this game, but the motion picture, Amy is Hunger games catching fire okay the highest grossing installment in the hunger game series okay how much do you think it made amy miller is it adjusted for inflation or it is not adjusted for inflation as i said with those same four words earlier. I'm so bad at this. I have no idea. Would you rather go last?

No. No. I'm going to say $125 million. Okay. What's that funny to you? What's so funny? It's just funny the way you said it. Like, it's so funny how you sound like you're not sure,

and then you gave me an amazing guess. Okay. Tan, what do you think? This is just domestic? Yeah, I think so. You're not sure? 346 million. 346 says Tan.

He's a little high. What'd you call me? Clark? I'm going to say 234 million i tried to give you dan don't talk about spreads maybe that voice yes maybe it's not so sexy anymore i'm sorry to say i tried to give you guys a hit saying it's the highest grossing in the series of Hunger Games movies, meaning that they just make an insane amount of money, those movies. 680?

So, Dan, no, Dan, it's 865 million. Whoa. That's wild. I would have never guessed that. Yeah, that's got to be global. guessed that yeah that's gotta be global yeah it's insane how much money those movies make so

real quick I've just been told in my headset that we've got that Eddie the Eagle from the American Comedy Company in San Diego is standing by on the phone and really wants to say hi.

Hi, Doug. Oh, there he is. Hi. Hey, Eddie. I'm good. How are you? You're good, too? That's great.

I didn't even ask, but I'm glad you covered it for both of us. No problem, Doug. What's going on down there? Caw, caw. Hey, there's that familiar caw, caw. What's going on in the basement of the comedy club there? Are you self-isolating there?

Oh, I'm just by myself. It's very dark in here. Yeah, I bet. It must be sad that there's no shows going on. None at all. None. It's still somehow better than open mic night oh yeah okay that makes sense open mics can be kind of rough but uh i'm hoping to see you eddie

i'm hoping that uh the club will be open during comic-con because you know i usually do two doug lowe's loopies shows uh over the course of comic-con at the uh american comedy company they they haven't canceled it yet yeah they're saying comic-con is still going to happen i don't know why they would say that at this point they canceled burning man they did that's not till like september august right that's my point oh eddie you're such a beacon of sanity in this crazy, crazy situation. A beacon. But if it does happen during Comic-Con, if Comic-Con does happen,

I'll be there and do some, you know, maybe I'll just sit there by myself with you on the stage because you're not contagious, right, Eddie? No, not at all. No, birds are good. We already had our time. It's true. It's not the corona bird virus.

Well, give me one more ca-caw. Ca-caw. And we'll see you this summer, maybe. If not, I'll come back whenever they allow me. All right. Feel free. All right. Thanks, buddy. maybe if not i'll you know i'll come back whenever whenever they allow me all right all right thanks buddy that's so crazy that uh that eagle on stage at the american comedy company uh can get on the phone you think they'd promote that more yeah but you know it's a it's an interesting club they don't uh they don't do anything the way you'd expect.

If he has the capabilities of a bird, why does he have to stay down there? He's just a wooden... Bolted to the wall. Yeah, it's just the artwork that they picked for the comedy club. He also owns the club, so he's got to make sure that everything's holding down. Sure. Yeah. See, I did not

know that Eddie owned that place. That's really an interesting twist. Yep. You're welcome for that information, Doug. That's why he's the only one left working there at the end of the show sometimes now it's time to play build a title that's right everybody's game that's the hardest game to play

or explain is back i'm gonna give you guys a title did any of the three of you get a chance to catch the first uh episode of doug lowe's movies it was done this way no i haven't heard it yeah i i don't blame any of you i appreciate all of you responding in a way that sounded like but you meant to for sure yeah um okay so since none of you listened i'm going to play the exact same title that i played with the first group, it did not go well. And I just want to show the world that this game is not that difficult and that we can do better. So the starting title is The Day After Tomorrow. We'll take the off of the beginning. So Dan, since you won that last game, So, Dan, since you won that last game, you get to go first. So add a title to the beginning or end of Day After Tomorrow. Day After Tomorrow, Brother, We're Out Now.

Tomorrow, Brother, We're Out Now? Tomorrow. Tomorrow, Brother. Tomorrow, Brother, We're Out out now that's better it all comes down to pronunciation oh brother where are now okay so that means uh clark you're next uh you need a movie that ends in day or begins with thou. Okay. I will say

any given Sunday after tomorrow, brother, where art thou? Perfectly. Perfect answer. I mean, Amy may not think so. Oh, yeah. I think that's great.

I know that was not considerate for Amy. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, I'm fucked. Okay, Amy. So you need something that adds in any. Doug, when you're doing these, do you get to remove the word the on any title? Mm-hmm.

Okay. If only the's at the beginning of the title. Take it out of the middle. Gotcha. I don't know why you'd want to. What's that? What if the title starts with A?

Yeah, that's the same thing. You can get rid of the A or keep it if it works for you. Brother, where are the ow? Now. How? Well, obviously, I'm trying to think of something that starts with thousand. Oh.

Brother, where are the thousands? Oh. Yeah. oh brother where are the thousands oh oh yeah so that would drop the a for that thousand um i have nothing you guys that's all right you can stick around for our next game regardless also there's no prizes of any kind today perfect yeah just a pat on the head when i see you again sometime and i have the right gloves on fair enough um all right so we're back I will go with any given Sunday after tomorrow, brother. We're out the outsiders. Oh, very good. Okay.

Oh man. Technically wrong. That's a good one though. Vout ciders. Technically right. I don't know there's an e in there you know if you wanted if you wanted to tell somebody that you wanted them to get out side you could say outside outside with you outside with you and your kind um all right so do you have any ideas here clark to add to this i do i well but it's definitely um it's definitely loosey-goosey um i mean we're there oh yeah i guess so so. You know, Doug, Sam Levine and I play this game. When we go wine tasting, we play this game on the drive up.

And my favorite one that we ever came up with, he had ghosts of, so he had, it was the men that stare at goats. That was the one that it ended on. And so my answer was the men that stare at goats of Mississippi, which I thought was great and was very proud of. Did not allow that. Oh my God. I bet you Sam probably had to pull over and get out of the car, get some fresh air. I bet he talked to you about why that didn't work longer than the amount of time you played the game.

Yeah. And then we were there. Then we, yeah, the drive was over. It was a great time killer. Yes, it was. Okay. So here is my, I'm going to, so I'm going to, this is in line with that. Any given Sunday after tomorrow, brother, where are thou cider house rules? Ciders

house rules. If you can pluralize that cider. If you could only. There's only that option. That's good, though. That's probably the best I got, though. So good.

I'm trying to think of like a title that ends with many, but I can't, I got nothing. Yeah. It's a weird, it'd be a weird word to end a title with. I have, I think I have one. Is it my turn? Not a few, but many. Um, yo, you were, you got knocked you got knocked out oh okay i still want to hear it but yeah why it matters i would love to hear it any given sunday after tomorrow brother where are the outsiders house rules well with it see we never accepted the ciders house rules and i got one and also yeah that other that one wasn't wasn't quite there either but

what do you got you don't take annie uh no i don't i don't take i don't take that at all i don't care which i don't care which version of Annie you're talking about. In fact, I would be more likely to accept Blanny than Annie because at least you're building something. You're adding something to it. But what do you think, Dan? Bicentennial Manny given Sunday. Oh, great. I like that one.

Bicentennial Manny Given Sunday. Oh, great. I like that one. Bicentennial Manny. Yeah. That sounds like a guy who sells flags and hot dogs. Oh, it's like a nanny who's a dude, but also a robot. I have to say it all. I don't know. Bicentennial Manny Given Sunday after tomorrow, brother, we're outsiders. I love Bicentennial Manny.

I tried. That's a project right there. All right. Well, congratulations, Dan. Thanks. Winning's really not the right word to use for it, but you did succeed enough. You succeeded the most,

and you will be the first to play in our next game, which we will do in a moment. Let's take a quick commercial break and we will be right back. We're back. That wasn't so bad, right? No. Yeah. It was great. I think people should use all of those products or see all of those things. Yep. Totally. I think people should use all of those products or see all of those things. Agreed. Yep, totally.

Whatever it was I was just talking about, just do it, you guys. Order it and send it back. I just want that initial credit for having gotten you to buy the thing. Yeah, put the promo code in. Put in a fake credit card. I don't know if they don't listen to this part unless it's sex toys don't send those back cancel the order pre-shipped don't use them and then mail them back and say i bought these because doug benson told me to um so that's that's where you're thinking the ads were just for sex toys i don't know i mean if they were smart now's the time to advertise yeah i haven't used better get on it

yeah what's the worst thing to advertise right now vacations now. Vacations. Walking tours? Wait, what's wrong with a good walking tour? You gotta just go by yourself. Just you and the tour guide and they have a little bullhorn. How about kissing booths? Yeah, that's bad. Some kind of yoga retreat?

Cheerleading camp? Hugging convention? That's bad. I'm kind of yoga retreat. Cheerleading camp. Hugging convention. A licking conference. I mean, my voice up for that. This is making me so sad thinking about all the money,

all the revenue I'm losing from the lack of hugging convention. It's a real bummer. So let's get back into the games. But speaking of jobs and the lack thereof, here's a poorly timed game called Jobs, Jobs, Jobs. This is a super fun game. I think Dan got to play it recently. Yeah, I've played it twice. Still haven't won.

Oh. Well, this is your chance, buddy. Okay. To go up against these two people who've never heard of it. You're an old pro at it. Never even heard of a job. Alright, so basically the way the game works

is I'm going to give a clue to Dan, followed by a number of jobs that I've written down that were performed by one particular person, an actor or an actress, over the course of their career. of their career. Dan will then say whether he can figure out who we're talking about with whatever number of jobs from that list he thinks it'll take him to get it. And then the bidding begins. Oh my God. This is like Leonard Maltin, but with jobs.

Can I ask a dumb question? Please. Jobs they had in their real life or in movies? That question was too smart. Jobs they've had in movies. Okay. Doug loves movies, not real life. I can't imagine why, Doug.

Yeah, let's get that shirt going. Let's also get the hashtag going. Douglas movies, not real life. Okay, so yeah, so that's what you're getting on is how many movies. So it'll be just like the Leonard Ball game in the sense that it'll be the easier, It'll be just like the Leonard Ball game in the sense that it'll be the easier, you know, it'll be easier to figure out the more job titles you get to gear. So it'll go to Clark second, and then maybe all the way over to A&E.

We'll see. The bidding can be pretty fierce. You ready, Dan? Yep. First one to win two of these, uh, battles. Uh, so it's basically best two out of, uh, what? Four. All right, here we go. The clue is, uh, this person's mother was a German opera singer. And now that I say it,

I'm not sure if the operas were all German or if the person is German probably the person German opera singer I always say German opera all right uh eight jobs eight Eight. Eight jobs, jobs, jobs. How many can you get it in, Dan? Seven. Opening bid is seven, Clark. He just names, he thinks if he hears seven jobs, he can figure this out. I'm a super fan of this person.

I know the answer. Wow. What? If it's the person. I know the answer. Wow. What? If it's the person that I think it is. You're that big of a fan that you already know based on the German opera singer mother thing. Yes. Let me ask you this. I was going to say, if she knows it, Doug, could she go negative jobs? And then if she wanted to name some of their jobs?

I mean, I feel like Amy doesn't know who this is based on the clue. I don't either. So Clark doesn't really need to show off like that, but theoretically, maybe she could, but she should probably, she should probably hear it or she's maybe just totally psyching out Amy right now. I believe her. Yeah, no, Amy, I wouldn't do that to you. I know, I can hear her typing.

So what do you want to, Clark, do you want to say, you know, like zero names or, you know, one job or zero jobs? Yeah, I mean, I know the answer. You're going zero jobs. Correct. So all Amy has to do is name that person, say that to Clark. Or go negative jobs.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're not going to do that. You don't know what I'm going to do. I do. I'm a different person now. This is new Amy. Quarantine Amy says what?

So I can just guess though, though right or tell her to name it no you just have to say Clark name it if she names it she gets the point if she doesn't name it you get the point okay Clark name that person my hero forever Sandra Bullock that is correct I mean like I yeah her mother's name was Helga hero forever, Sandra Bullock. That is correct. Wow.

I mean, like, I, yeah. Her mother's name was Helga. I am a big fan. It proves out. Yeah, I know that. So wait, hold on. So let's, can we, I don't want to derail your show, Doug, but I'm curious as to how many jobs Clark could have said. Or where would you have gone with?

We've gone with, like, accidental hacker for the net. Yep. And then you've got FBIbi agents and you've got to hope or flash pageant pageant greed and then you've got told me tell you the uh told booth worker and while you were sleeping but let me uh let's reverse engineer this let me tell you the ones i did have oh yeah yeah tell me uh Let me tell you the ones I did have. Oh, yeah, yeah. Tell me. You can tell me what she was.

Which movie was she a scientist? Love Potion number nine. Uh-huh. Cop. Miss Congeniality. Well, she's been a cop a couple times. I guess, actually, cop is murder by numbers. FBI agent is Miss Congeniality.

Yeah. How about The Heat? Yeah, and The Heat. Oh, yeah the heat uh yeah oh yeah and the heat you're right you're right uh law student law oh uh time to kill uh-huh playwright uh it's not capote i'm sorry uh uh the oh god wait a second the infamous that's the name where she played harper lee oh maybe yeah so playwright i guess harper lee i guess she was a novelist yeah she wrote yeah which one's playwright uh the uh ya ya sisterhood oh of course sure yes yes yes yes of course yeah i just i just get very excited whenever i get to say ya ya sister wait what's the german opera singer movie no that's just what her mother really was okay that really threw me off guys yeah i for sure thought that was in a movie and I clearly thought that at the beginning of the game. All right.

It would be funny, though, if that was her job. Like, Sandra Bullock character's job was her mom's a German opera singer. Yeah, that's what I thought. Wow. Like Florence Foster Jenkins. Wow, me. And then the list, you know, then they get a lot easier because i had uh astronaut sure and witch yes yes and then this one's my favorite one on the list number seven would have been

if you got to hear it uh spunky passenger owner of a lake house yeah exactly lake house homeowner yeah i mean she's got lots of great ones where you could just give it away with just a couple of words and then but then my eighth one was of course undercover fbi agent slash beauty pageant contestant that's great those are great sandy b sandy b all right so So Clark's got one point. Dan stayed out of that skirmish and Amy challenge. So Dan, you're going to go first and then it's going to go to Amy on this next round. Okay.

The clue is this person's first acting job was in a cereal commercial. If Clark figures it out, I am going to to i'm going to get out of the game oh you don't know it no i i don't remember who this is but i remember them being on a late night appearance and them showing this cereal commercial and i cannot remember who it is all right well that's the thing is uh these clues are supposed to not help at all. So that wouldn't help. Clark was amazing. All right. So I listed seven professions. I'm going to go six. Dan loves that opening bit of just knocking one off for six.

Amy, what do you think? Can Dan get it in six or can you get it in less than six? I'm going to say I can do it in five nice I can't whispering to the other guests is that it's easy it's really not

not as many side combos Clark I'll go four what why oh i don't know okay name it no no no clark it's too late that's the sam levine talking right there yeah you did it i'm sorry no do it go for it so for who who was next after Clark? It would be me to either do three or challenge her. Okay. Which is it going to be, Dan?

I think I have to challenge her. Name that person. Okay. All right. So Clark gets three. Wait, four? Four. Yes. four? Four, yes. Four.

Four jobs. Let me take a look at it. Okay, I think she's got a shot at this. Ex-con. Con man. FBI agent. and magician. Oh. Kind of sounds like just one person

or the cast of Now You See Me. Yeah. Oh, that's tricky because of the magician one. Yeah. Oh, that's tricky because of the magician one. Mm-hmm. Con man, ex-con, cop, or FBI agent. FBI agent. FBI.

And magician. FBI. Okay. I'm going to say magician. Oh, boy. I'm gonna say magician oh boy is that your final answer no it's not it's not I'm gonna guess magician

I'll go I'll go Ed Norton that was a terrific guess he was a magician in that one movie. Yes. What should I do? Do you want me?

That's incorrect. You want to hear more jobs just for fun? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But the point there goes to Dan. All right. But here's more names,

jobs, investment banking executive. Oh, Steve Carell. No. The sixth profession is newsy. Christian Bale. Come on. I have such a hard time believing that because because I thought of him, of course. I thought of the prestige.

And I thought, was the seventh job Batman? Yeah, the seventh job was eccentric billionaire. I have such a hard time picturing him. I thought of him, and I was like, he wasn't in a cereal commercial. That's wild. Dan, was that the one you were thinking of? I don't even remember still. I just remember seeing them show somebody's first gig was a cereal commercial,

but there might be a lot of actors like that. There might be. All right. This is exciting. We're going to play another round in this game because Dan has won and Clark has won, and Amy gets to go first this time. And then it's going to go at Dan. So get ready, Dan.

Okay. Amy? Yes, Doug? This espion was born in New Jersey. Oh, I got it. I know. Just kidding. And I wrote down eight jobs.

How many jobs, jobs, jobs can you figure this out in? I'm going to say seven. Oh, that's what we call the Dan Van Kirk. Not what I call it. Okay. Kirk. That's not what I call it. Okay. Dan, you're up.

I'm going to say name that person. Goddamn you. Amazing. Are you really? He's just being sinister. Okay, fine. I'll fucking name it. Go ahead. Think about it. If you get it I'll fucking name it. Go ahead. I mean, think about it. If you get it right, we get to play more.

Yeah. This is exciting. If I guess, then it's definitely going to end it. All right. I'm not even going to... Okay, I'll try to have a better attitude. Sorry. I don't know about this new quarantine, Amy.

Amy, I think you could do this. Okay. I'm going to give you the seven. I'm not even going to belabor it. I'm just going to read them really fast and just put it all together in your head and then tell me the name of this person. Sandy Bullock. I really feel like, well, let's go ahead and narrow it down.

It's definitely not Sandy Bullock or Christian Bale. I wouldn't do that to you. Okay. I wouldn't just find a bunch more jobs from an actor we'd already played, but that is a fun idea. It does sound like something you would do. It does definitely sound like something. I'm going to do it in a Sam Levine episode.

He's going to be so mad. Logically, that's not correct, Doug, because you said at the beginning multiple actors. You said multiple actors at the beginning of the game, and then for you to have the same actor more than once defeats the purpose of what you said the rules of the game were. Sam's going to cheat so much when he has a laptop in front of him. Oh, 100%.

He cheats when we do this live in groups back in the good old days. Writing names down. Oh, my God. god okay here we go here's the seven okay i'm ready this person has been a gangster a playwright an army colonel a president a therapist a mental patient and the devil The Mental Patient, and The Devil. Okay. You read them so fast. Did you say The President? I did.

Yeah, I got you. I know what it is. Gagster, playwright, army colonel. Somebody played rights. Oh, you know, right? Okay. President, therapist, mental patient, the devil. It takes zero range to play those last three roles, by the way.

If you could do one, you could do them all. I play one of those at different times in the day. I'm going to say Morgan Freeman. It's so close. That was my first thought too. I love that guess. Who's close? Well, because they're in a – well, in theory, but yeah.

But I think I know who it is. Yeah, I know who it is. Clark obviously does. I have a guess. Okay, what's your guess? Jack Nicholson. Yes. That was my a guess. Okay, what's your guess? Jack Nicholson. Yes! That was my second guess. Yeah, that's correct.

God damn it! Yeah, that was the, yeah. And then of course, of course, job number eight was just, I just wrote down The Joker, so. Great. But somebody always takes one name off

for some reason. Dan, you did it. You win. Congratulations. So good, Dan. Thanks. It's bittersweet. I wanted you to get it, Amy. I wanted to keep playing. It's okay. Sorry. I'll try harder next time. It's okay. You tried your hardest.

I didn't. I thought Jack Nicholson. I didn't see it. Oh, because when is he the devil? Which is a beast. Oh, okay. That's what threw me off. Yeah. The colonel's a few good men. Yeah.

You can't handle the truth, Dan. Okay. Nevermind then. Sorry. I didn't know. Don't be, don't be like God god don't give me more than i can handle has he ever been god is uh no i'm just saying god he only gives you what you can handle i'm just very reflective on my religion today because it's easter but jack nichols has never played god i don't think no i don't think he has either i don't think so either he was president amy in um mars attacks yes yes i interviewed morgan freeman one time and he said that the one role he hasn't played that he wanted to play was the devil oh wow yeah uh which is funny because he and Jack Nicholson, if you like list out those things,

they really have played, like Jack's played the devil, Morgan Freeman's played God. Like Jack's been the president, Morgan Freeman's been the vice president. And I think ultimately he was the president in like those Olympus movies. So it's just funny.

I think all of those things are on both of their bucket lists. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. those things are on both of their bucket lists. Yeah. Maniacal laugh quarantine, Doug. Yeah. I'm really going crazy over here. Um, so we did it. We, uh,

we played all the games, uh, that I had planned for today and have a little time to spare. So let's, uh, let's talk movies. let's talk movies. Let's talk movies in quarantine. Uh, do you guys, any of you have any recommendations of anything you've seen lately? I just watched rear window for the very first time. Oh my gosh. Did you love it? I absolutely loved it. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. So, so good. And then, you know what I kept thinking of? And I know it's not a movie, but I'm like, somebody's people have had to have done this

as a play, right? Where like his apartment would be like downstage, the audience. And then along the back, you would see the whole, everybody else's apartment. I don't know. And you're just looking at his back. Well, obviously they would, I obviously shouldn't say that, but I feel like they would turn everything out a lot and you could also do it in a way that the lighting could highlight where you're supposed to be looking at some right i don't know i'm obviously designing let's ask

sandra volick yeah we're no sandra volick or christian bale when did he play play right christian bale um but they've done you know they've it's definitely this that's When did he play Ray? Christian Bale. But they've done, you know, it's definitely that particular storyline of, oh, I think someone's murdered someone else and I can't prove it. Christopher Reeve, after he was paralyzed, actually did, I think it was a TV movie of Rear Window. And I'm not being funny, that's legit. they, I think it was a TV movie of rear window and I'm not being funny. That's legit. I'm not, I'm pretty sure it was a TV movie. Oh, I'd watch that. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. So yeah, rear window. And then I just watched a documentary on HBO that was recently released called the scheme and it is very, very good. Oh, it's all about the, that monopoly game. No, that's McMillions. The scheme is about, that's good though. Getting like trying to pay coaches to then pay players to go to certain colleges. It sounds, I know, overly sportsy and a lot of people aren't big sports people, but the story itself is really, really good. And then lastly, sorry, I just watched. The only way they could have got me to watch it is if they called it McScheme.

You're like, oh, all right, I'll buckle in for some more McDonald's deception. Are there French fries involved? Sign me up. That's a great, that's a great t-shirt too. And then I watched The Hunt. Oh, how did you like that, Dan? I know this is a personal thing and I'm not indicting this movie because I love, I love, I love so many things about Knives Out, but I enjoyed it personally more than Knives Out.

Interesting. Very interesting. But it's not as good of a script or story, and obviously the performances in Knives Out are amazing. So technically, I would lose so many arguments on why, supposedly. So everything in it is worse. Why do you got to drag Knives Out into it? Is it that reminiscent of a story? I think Knives Out and Ready or Not and The Haunt fall into a very similar type of movie.

Certainly Knives Out and Ready or Not because you're you're not really supposed to like anyone in those movies but yeah they just felt they just felt all very similar vibes to me and I felt very weird that I didn't love Knives Out more although I really appreciate it and so when I finished The Hunt I was like that was weird but I actually enjoyed that more than Knives Out so I'm not saying anybody else would feel the same but I liked liked it. And I think it's a good watch. And even though it's 20. When you're saying these negative things about Knives Out, I can't help but thinking that you're mistaking it with,

are you sure you didn't see The Last Jedi? Fair point. Fair point. I just didn't care about anybody in Knives Out. That was my problem. I just didn't care about anybody. Well, I could certainly see that. That's always a reasonable explanation for not liking something.

I just don't. I think Ready or Not and Hunt seem very similar concepts. Sure. Knives Out is more like a whodunit that you compare to older movies rather than current ones. But nonetheless, I'm happy to bring up Knives Out at all is more like a whodunit that you compare to older movies rather than current ones. But nonetheless, I'm happy to bring up Knives Out at all because I enjoy that movie very much

and I need to see it a second time. So that could be something I could do during quarantine. Let me get out my calendar. Hang, wait a second, you guys. I'm going to write this down. Amy, what about you? Do you have any recommendations for the times we're in? I'm watching so much stuff. I saw there's a documentary on Amazon called Scream Queen about the guy who plays the hero in the second Nightmare on Elm Street movie, which is like a iconic gay film and uh it's pretty interesting

uh just how it went down and like how it became such a gay movie and how that hurt his career ultimately uh yeah it's a really uh it's a it's a story that people don't know because because the nightmare and elm street movies just sort of raged on, even though that second part is kind of an outlier that doesn't really stick to the same rules as all the other ones. Yeah, it's like totally unrelated to anything. Yeah, so when people go back and watch it, they are probably very surprised by how homoerotic a lot of it is. Yeah.

And how it makes sense i mean why would freddy krueger not be you know horrible to uh everybody imaginable he's not a good dude he's not gonna cut anybody some slack especially speaking of knives out um and we've been going through the PT Anderson movies which has been really fun but I don't I had only seen there will be blood once I think in the theater and I just like never was interested in watching again and then we did and I realized they're part of the reason I don't care that much is there's no women in that movie oh yeah worst worst score on the Bechdel test

and it's such a good movie so like on the surface I'm like I should love this but I just I can't care enough well I love having it I love it I appreciate you giving me a reason that I can say

to people why I don't like that movie. I just find it incredibly boring. Whoa, really, Doug? Yeah, I mean. Fascinating. Like you can watch him like when he's injured down in the well. You can watch that a second time. That part is definitely boring.

Like I joke. I jokingly used to call that movie, there will be boring, but it's funny because that is actually my favorite P.T. Anderson movie. I don't like any of his other movies. Oh, but they're so good. Yeah, they're not for me. And they're entertaining.

Yeah, I mean, there will be blood really comes on strong in those last few scenes it's suddenly like oh okay shit's happening oh and now it's over okay great but um i might also i find it rough it might be because i'm also i'm from the south and so i kind of love daniel plainview like as the corporate capitalist money guy taking the church to task a little bit um and that's just my own analysis you know what i mean like but he goes after paul dano's false priesthood so hard that i think maybe that's why i'm like oh yeah this is speaking my language i love it you know dan's struggling with his religion today so if you could just i'm sorry happy easter everyone happy easter everyone about the church wouldn't that be nice if i was struggling we can do an emergency episode of my

podcast we'll just get it out yeah we really gotta hash out this whole pt anderson thing sometime clark because uh anytime i think you and i have wildly varying opinions on, on, on his work, but at the same time, we both, both appreciate some of what he does and, and hate other things that he does. Yes, absolutely. I'm thinking new Doug Benson podcast called I don't see that where you have people on that completely disagree with you about a movie one way or the other

and you guys hash it out. All right. Well, I don't see that as being a good idea. That's what I felt the moment I finished speaking. But you have inspired a new idea, which is a guy that just shoots down ideas. That I like. I mean, executives have been getting away with it for forever. Why can't the talent be the ones to shoot down all the ideas? Sure.

Amen. Yeah. Clark, did you recommend anything? No, but I was, my recommendations actually, it's funny you guys brought up Nightmare 2 because I am making my way through the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. And I started with number two because I know number one so well. And I started, I watched a dream warriors,

which is the third one from start to finish. And I had never seen it from start to finish. And it's funny because everybody says, Oh, it's, it's so good. It's so good. And I'm like, yeah, but like, I love horror movies. And sometimes when people tell me these are good, I'm like, what are they? Dream warriors is great i was shocked um so yeah i'm making my way through the nightmare on elm street movies um and doug i just listened to your episode they released it as a special episode of how did this get made um with valerian did you know that i did hear that that happened. Yeah. And I'm excited because it was an

episode that was behind the paywall. And so lots of people, you know, hadn't heard that one. Yeah, it's real fun. And it was and how did this get made just did like within a year ago, they did Hello Mary Lou prom night two. And they had such a kick out of it and it got such a kick out of it and then again because i'm a horror fan and i have a lot of friends who are horror fans i've heard great things about that movie but i didn't know if they were real or if they were just horror fans saying that and it's also great and streaming on shutter so uh yeah so i've been making my way through like 80s horror movies, which has been fun. That's great.

Yeah, I've enjoyed it. I got to get like on some sort of like, I got to have some sort of goal. I've just been sort of randomly watching stuff, you know, just based on, you know, my mood and what I feel like I can handle this moment. And today I unwittingly put on this movie that I heard that it's good, but I didn't really know anything about it. It's called Never Rarely, Sometimes, Always.

I've never even heard of that. Yeah, well, it's a small indie movie written and directed by a woman named eliza hitman and um with actors that i you know kind of recognize one or two people vaguely but like you know a real fresh cast but just a complete bummer i do not recommend anybody watch it right now oh Well, it's a good title for the movie titles game. Oh my gosh. Yes. Oh, it's such a, I like, that's the other thing is I've been meaning to watch it since it came out a couple of weeks ago. And I, every time I discuss it or think about looking it up,

I can't remember which one of those words comes first. But, but it's funny too also because there's a scene in the movie where uh some people do this thing where if if characters in a movie say the title in the dialogue they uh politely applaud and um so it's something i've sort of gotten wired into me over the years that i'll you know do it sometimes. But the scene where those words in the title come up a lot, if you sat there applauding, people would have you thrown out of the theater. Oh, wow.

Yeah. And that's all I'm going to say about it. So now you have a weird reason to see this movie that I also said is very upsetting material. Can you tell us what it's called again? Yeah. Never. Eh? Never. Rarely.

Sometimes. Always. Okay. Amy is totally right. That should absolutely be a build a title option. That's great. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah yeah that'll be good um plugs does anybody have any uh urgent plugs to get out you can listen to dumb people town every tuesday pen pals with me and rory scoville drops on

wednesdays and i have a nightly show called the good night show that is just small little episodes usually around 20 minutes that are meant to uh just something to listen to when you want to decompress at the end of the day just ease and soothe yourself to my podcast who's your god uh also that doesn't seem as relaxing as dance it's actually really fun um and wait you're involved and it's fun i'm not fighting you dougie come on uh i have merch for sale on my website now if you want to buy a pillowcase you can go to amymillercomedy.com and then i'll ship it to you and then you can put it on your pillow and you can cry into it or whatever no i'm gonna get two of them and then that way the pillows can kiss it's just me kissing myself yeah just stack them on top of each other and

and uh i didn't know that this is something that i'll leave you to your business and i'll go i'll go in the other room oh you're not even watching okay good night night i mean you know you know me and pillow talk i just can't do it um clark what do you what do you uh, the thing you're still doing? Still on DC daily. Um, and I'm all yes, DC close. It's okay. Uh, and I'm also doing a thing on Instagram, which is dumb and hopefully makes people giggle. I'm doing cardio cosplay. So as I'm exercising through the quarantine,'m doing it in cosplay uh so I was Thor from Thor Ragnarok and Marty McFly and it's it's dumb I it's just hopefully to make people

smile and also because I'm not like yeah guys we're working out I'm just like this sucks but maybe if I wear a stupid outfit it'll be funny and so you can watch that on instagram at clark wolf clark with any wolf with any thank you for your service yes i'm sacrificing me and the and the nurses we're really in this together it's true um thank you to all three of you for participating. You know, you're three of my favorites. And Douglovesmovies.com for all of my dates that may or may not happen. That's Douglovesmovies.com. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, thanks again to Eddie as well. And please, if all of you could uh take a picture and uh text it to me in the next few minutes i'd appreciate it yes of course and i'm that's not just my guests i want everyone i know careful text me yeah. And as always, positive energy. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold.

His viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.