Doug Loves Movies - Amy Miller, Ngaio Bealum and Graham Elwood guest

Episode Date: December 27, 2016

Live at the American Comedy Co. in San Diego, Doug welcomes Amy Miller, Ngaio Bealum and Graham Elwood to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again. That's right

We've been here before How many times do you think we've been here? 18 18 is the guess I'm going to accept Is correct But it's just a guess This is our 18th time at the American Comedy Company

In Sweet Home San Diego! Oh, you guys are so nice. Did everybody have a good... I don't know what I'm even supposed to say. Did everybody have a good Christ holiday? holiday. It's Monday, December 26, 2016.

Did Santa leave any of you time to make name tags? Holy shit, I saw London is calling on a top 20 worst movies of the year list. And here it is in the front row. London has Colin.

Because your name is Colin. Yeah, and then we have Empire Strikes Matt. And here's the thing about Twitter and Douglas movies. I know more about people than I want to know. Matt's here alone tonight because his wife didn't want to come. I had to learn that today. I don't need to know that about an individual audience member. A sad front row friend.

Empire Strikes Matt. Did your wife strike you before you left the house? Has she been to the show before? Yes, that's why she tapped out. She probably got hit in the face with a donut. Young Franken-Sai? Your name is Sai? Okay.

And you attach some treats to that. Lots of tasty treats on there. Doritos. Furitos. Sour Patch-itos. Judge-itos. Judge-itos. What was that movie with Gary Oldman?

Oh, Tippy Toes? Was that what that was called? Yeah. Yeah? That was weird. All right, you guys. Thanks for bringing all those name tags, and good luck being chosen by one of my three guests tonight.

Doug Plugs, this is the kickoff to the holiday taint tour. Yeah, welcome to the taint. A taint Christmas and a taint New Year's. But here we are, right in the taint. I'm doing stand-up tomorrow night at the Irvine Improv in Irvine, California at the Irvine Speculum. And then...

That's a fun thing to call it, right? If you go to the show tomorrow night, you guys, I recommend Uber because the parking... Parking at Irvine Spectrum, they have those signs that tell you how many spots there are for each level, and I don't know if I agree with that. I think there's something shifty about those signs. Sign, sign, everywhere I sign.

Losing my mind. Thursday, I'm at the Sack Punch line, the old Sack Punch, in Sacramento, California. And then New Year's Eve at 420 at the Improv in Tempe, Arizona. Plus, I've got stuff coming up in Oxnard, California. California has a comedy club now. Not deserved. in Tempe, Arizona. Plus I've got stuff coming up in Oxnard, California.

It has a comedy club now. Not deserved. I'm just guessing by the number of reservations I've seen so far that either Oxnard is not a hotbed of comedy or I am not hot in Oxnard. And then I'll be at San Francisco Sketch Fest in January. And this is exciting. I'm excited to announce that I talked to my friends here at the American Comedy Company.

And I said, you know, it's nice to do the annual Comic-Con episode of Douglas Movies. It's nice to do the night before Thanksgiving. It's also nice to do this new tradition of the day after Christmas. But let's go deeper. And this year, it's the inaugural

event. We'll see if it goes on for years to come. Douglas Movies, right here on Valentine's Day. Yeah. So your fucking wife better get her shit together, Matt. But yeah, I hope to see at least you guys. Because some of you from the last time didn't come tonight.

I should take roll. There should be roll call at these things. But that should be on sale right now. I think maybe you could buy tickets on your way out of here. I don't know how that works. But for all of my dates and deets of all of my shows, go to Doug slash loves slash movies dot com no don't say slash in between

each one I don't know why I did that that's douglovesmovies.com there's no reason there's just no reason to make it longer like for a while there I was like I'll just to make it longer. Like, for a while there, I was like, I'll just keep making it longer. But what?

Can you imagine? Just sitting there watching me not speak for... longer? From the not-really-a-corrections department, we were playing Build a Title recently and a movie that ends with they, which you'd imagine there isn't one because that's weird. A movie that ends with they is

They Shoot Horses, Don't They? So you can stop annoying me about that, people on Twitter. And also as much as that's cool that you can put that on there, you're just fucked because then there isn't another movie that ends in they. Go ahead and bother me about that one if there is.

I don't think there is, though. Let's look at the prize bag, you guys. Christmas just happened, so Santa, I guess he skipped this bag. I guess he skipped this bag actually this is probably one of the cooler things that's ever been this bag a guy in Fort Lauderdale Florida gave me this

it's a little tiny Bert Kreischer's face sticker that like you could just put somewhere it's him making an o face and you could just put it somewhere if you want uh a couple of hotel cookies you know when they check in they're like you want a hot cookie i used to say no now i say I'd like two. Then I put them in the prize bag. The same guy that gave me the Burt Chrysler sticker also gave me a bunch of stickers that have George, I almost said what's his name,

George Carlin on them. And he also gave me a George Carlin shirt that says, question everything. Yeah, it's pretty cool. And I've also got a pipe that's only been used once. And I looted this from a loot crate. I guess it's a Luke Cage belt buckle. But it just says Cage on it.

So if I were you, I would tell people it's Nicolas Cage. And then I'd act out a scene from one of his classic films. I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire! All of that's going in the bag, plus the stuff brought by my guests. Please give a big, warm... They've all been on the show before, you know them, you love them, big, warm San Diego. Hello.

Hello. I heard some Santee claps in there, and I do not... I asked for a San Diego welcome. I guess it's officially in the county, but... I had the El Cajon clap one time. I'll tell you... I was in college. I'll tell you one thing,

I just... I was looking up movie times today here in San Diego, and I saw that the Santee drive-in is still a thing. So I gotta give props to the Santee for that, because that's, you know, Lakeside doesn't have no fucking drive-in is still a thing. So I gotta give props to the Santee for that, because that's, you know,

Lakeside doesn't have no fucking drive-in. Big shout-out to the Santee drive-in, everybody. Come on! Two screens! Yeah! Is there a swap meet? Weather permitting. Oh, I'm sure there's a swap meet. That's where they make their real dough. There's so

many people out in the East County that have meat they need to swap. Let's meet my guests individually. Am I talking? Donnie, let's meet my guests. That's the safe word is Donnie. Let's say hello to Amy

Miller, everybody. Back again. The Unstoppable. Amy Miller, everybody, back again. Hi, Doug. The unstoppable. So precocious. I'm old. How can I be precocious when I'm old? Well, I wanted the listeners to think you might be a teenager or something. But you were on the very last show we did here at the American Comedy Company.

I was. Yeah, we were here making American comedy great again. And, uh... Magka. Yeah. And it's good to have you back. Thank you. You're so nice to always have me back. And I did the last

one, too, in L.A. where I got to kiss Jon Hamm. Yeah. Spoiler on that. If you... But it's been out, right? If you haven't. Oh, sure. It's out.

Yeah. Well, I kissed Jon Hamm. Yeah. Okay. Well... A lot of other stuff happens in the show. We didn't just make out for two hours. Wait, you kissed him on the mouth?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know when you're trying to... It was mouth-ish. It was like side-ish. Did you get half his mouth? You know when someone's trying to kiss you on the cheek and then you're a creep and you move over a smidge

and then it's kind of just in the corner? Oh, you got a little corner mouth. Yeah. Mouth taint? No. Yes. Yes, it was. The t a little corner mouth. Yeah. Mouth taint? No. Yes. Yes, it was. The taint of my mouth.

Thank you. The taint isn't at the ends. Yes, it is. It's at the bottom. The taint leads to the end. Between the cheek and the hole. Wow. So wait a minute.

Does this turn into a tobacco commercial? So are you saying... Wait, so this whole area is the taint? Just a pinch between the cheek and the hole. Right here in the corner of your mouth. That's a hole? That's a taint hole? Yeah.

All right. Come get a photo with my taint after the show, everybody. Come out to the Santee Drive-In and touch my taint. I love it when they have touch my taint night out at the Santee Drive-In. Some of my friends sneak in in the trunk. You got a trunk to taint touch. It's all teas all the time.

Graham Elwood is here, everybody. Hello, San Diego. What are you wearing tonight, Graham? I'm wearing a Batman shirt that I got from one of my nephews for Christmas. The day of our Lord Jesus baby's birthday. That's so nice. It's kind of a van go. Yeah, it is.

It's very... It's like a starry night with Batman. It is. It's great being related to Graham. The whole family could shop for him at Target. Well, last Christmas I got this Batman wallet, so yes, they can. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I'm the easiest person to shop for what's happening with the there's a beverage coming in thank you so much how are you doing

Amy's got a beverage don't be a fucking creep she's working I wasn't being I was being nice I have a girlfriend I wasn't being a creep

I'm sure you do yeah alright yeah that's every time someone accuses me of being a. I wasn't being a creep. I'm sure you do. Yeah, all right. Yeah, that's every time someone accuses me of being a creep. Tell that to the waitresses in Tucson. I don't know. I don't know anything.

I'm just fucking around. Roll star. I'm just fucking around. How about a round of applause for your sexy waist? Yeah. Yeah. You want to kiss my taint girls for an extra tip?

The cheek one, not the weird one. When did it become 1989 in here? It's so weird. What happened? We took a time warp in like 1989 comedy clubs. Everybody's all sexist and drunk and full of coke. I don't know what clubs you're working at. Yeah, I thought it got in more of a strip club vibe there at the end.

All right. I think that's what he was going for. Is that what was happening? Yeah. I was going really actually more of a truck stop kind of a meth lab. Truck stop comedy? Yeah, truck stop. Oh, kind of a glory hole situation?

Yeah, I was looking for more of a... Touch this taint through the glory hole? Yeah. Could you even get your taint up against the glory hole? I guess you could. I bet you. Well, it depends on which one. You got to put... Are we going face taint or are we going hole? I guess you could. I bet you. Well, it depends on which one. You gotta put...

Are we going face taint or are we going downtown? What are we going? Downtown taint? There's not. There's only one taint on the body. The toilet paper lid. I beg to differ. I'm on Amy's side of the taint issue that there is a mouth corner mouth taint. Yeah. I'll tell you something

else. There taint a taint issue either. That's the new style. Let's create issues that don't exist. This whole show's tainted now. Become president off of it. I just think it's all taint. All the time?

It's all taint, man. We are all taint. That is the deep spiritual words of Mr. N'Gayo B-Lub! Free your taint. Free your taint, and your taint will follow. I'm just saying. Yeah.

Weed and coffee, everybody. That could be like a fun off-Broadway parody musical Taint Misbehavin'. Maybe it's all like puppets of taints. Hamiltaint. Whoa. Alexander Hamiltaint.

Alexander Hamiltaint. Whoa. Alexander Hamilton. Taint. Alexander Hamilton. I'm not throwing away my taint. Or shot. Can you imagine like sitting down, I'm going to write a musical about Alexander Hamilton. How do I get going? Alexander Hamilton. Alright. Let's take the rest of

the day off. We're nailing it. We're nailing it. But what am I going to name it? Ellen Buck. Oh, you just Hamilton. That's cleaner. That was... It's called I Like Lawrence's Pants.

Udayo thank you for being here my pleasure thanks for having me I love San Diego yeah it's a great place good times

gas lamp quarter although I think tonight we smoked more of a gas lamp eighth working on smoking a quarter

still early yeah it's still it's still it's still oily here in the gas lamp. Right? That wasn't bad, but nobody cared. Nobody liked it.

I'm going to analyze it Pete Holmes style right now for everybody. Go to the chart. Do we give things for the gift bag? If you'd like, sure. That seems like a fun place to... Oh, I brought weed. Well, maybe you should have gone last. Oh, sorry.

I get excited. I can't keep a secret. Because I don't think, you know, as much as I love everything that Amy and Graham bring to the bag, I don't know if they could top weed. I'll rustle some up before the end of the show. I can give you some weed to give. How much of it do you got there in Gaio? And what do you call it?

I have some nugs. I think would be the technical term. I was a judge at the Emerald Cup this year, right? So it's the outdoor organic cannabis competition throughout California. I had to smoke like 300 different kinds of weed. It's hard fucking work, you guys. Fuck off.

I just make it look easy. Now look. So these are a couple samples. And I don't know. We're a judge, so it's all blind tasting. So number 601, which has sort of a diesel-y gasoline smell and feel, slightly pine-y, Rattling of the northern hills. And number 86, which is more of a

fruity kind of a hybrid. I have a notebook. A fruity kind of delicious thing. They didn't make the top a little taint. They didn't hint of feces for the base. It's copper and seawater.

Put those in the thing. Let me put those right in the bag. It's not safe. I have more, Doug. But we were discussing backstage that, like, I always... I've had guests like yourself and myself, we've wanted to give weed away on the show before but before it became legalized

here in California it felt like a sketchy move but you guys all have to be 21 to be in here right? yeah and you're only going to smoke this if it's something you think you would enjoy there's no like weird paranoid pot smokers who made a great name tag

who might smoke this and do something weird and then blame marijuana there's no like weird paranoid pot smokers who made a great name tag who might smoke this and do something weird and then blame marijuana I didn't hear I didn't sound like anybody responded to that description I need to talk through a waiver and a release record by accepting this marijuana you hold blameless and indemnify oh guyGuyle, Beelum, Doug Benson, Doug Loves Movies, Eddie Miller, Graham Elwood, their entire family, Star Trek Universe, and Perpetuity.

I don't want to be responsible for the worst weed flip out of all time. Maybe just smoke two hits at first and see how you feel. Yeah, what could go wrong with the diesel-y weed that he has in there? Can't be any problems with that

high-octane weed. It is kind of high-octane. You should give it a little buzzy. It's good for washing dishes. This one smells a little bit like power steering fluid. Who wants some? Selling that out at the fucking swap meet out in... I already forgot the name of that shit.

Oh, shit. Santee. Santee, motherfucker. How could you forget? Christmas was just yesterday. Oh, shit. Santee. Santee.

Show me your taint. Santee Claus. Let's go to the taint. Is that you, Santee Claus? Let's go to the taint. Is that you, Santy Claus? Let's go to the taint toad board. How many times have you said taint tonight? Oh, it says too many. Amy.

Hi. What do you have for the prize bag? I like to have a theme, as you know, and the theme today is gifts I didn't want. These are some hideous socks from my mother. I have a theme, as you know, and the theme today is gifts I didn't want. These are some hideous socks from my mother. There's a DVD of Chappie. Oh, my God.

Nope. That is a fucking, that is a hate crime. Chappie doesn't like crime. My boyfriend's dad gave me a flashlight. That's useful, actually. Does it vibrate or something? No. It just illuminates. That was only one of the ones he gave me. So, I still have

another flashlight and just a pair of fishnet stockings. Wow. You guys were tantalized by these stockings. Anyone can wear them. I mean, you know, they're a 1X, so not everybody, but...

That's all I have. I'm gonna put them on my head and rob a bank, but sexily. And you can watch Chappie in them. Somebody please periscope that if the winner can wear those and watch Chappie. With the socks on the bottom just waving a flashlight. Please.

Don't dream it. Good stuff, Amy. I just mentioned that N'Gaya was also contributing a download card for his comedy recording, Weed and Sex. That's right. You can buy those from me. What are you talking about on Weed and Sex? Mostly Weed and Sex.

There's some, I think there's some quantum physics and a little existential philosophy. Oh. But mostly Weed and Sex. Okay. Keep them separate. That's his whole message. Just keep them separate. Weed and Sex go together like Weed and Sex. Put weed Keep them separate. That's his whole message. Just keep them separate. Weed and sex go together like weed and sex.

Do not put weed in the pussy. Especially not that diesel weed. Oh, shit. That's why I said copper and seawater. Look, just buy the CD. Let that slow cook. Let that marinate, you guys.

Graham? I have a copy of the Comedy Film Nerd Guide to Movies that I'm putting Let that slow cook. Let that marinate, you guys. Graham? I have a copy of the Comedy Film Nerd Guide to Movies that I'm putting in the book. Oh, shit. When's that going to be out of print? When are those going to go up in value? We got a couple boxes left. Okay, a couple boxes, you guys.

A couple more boxes of this, and then it's done. And we'll print more. Then I also have a, what's called a bamboo cream hair wash. Oh, somebody's staying in a hotel. Wow. You might call it shampoo if you're a fucking dirty, filthy garbage person. I call it hair wash. There is a cleaning and makeup remover towelette.

So after you wash your hair. Hey, Graham, do you know what my favorite Warren Beatty movie is? No, Doug. Which one? Hair wash. I'm sorry. Shampoo. That's what I meant. At the Hair wash. I'm sorry. Shampoo. That's what I meant.

At the hair wash. And then. Talking about hair wash. Oh, yeah. Bamboo cream. Couldn't rhyme it. That was pretty close. Almost got it.

And then I got a shower cap. What? What are you staying in two different hotels? You can't steal both those things from the same property. They will catch you. There you go, pal. Thank you. You don't need the shower cap if you're going to use the hair wash.

That's just a little tip. Oh, that is a good point. I like to just keep asking for shower caps and nothing else. I like a clean shower cap, so I use hair wash on my shower cap. I'm going to need 20 shower caps and three more towels.

All of that. Can be yours. Two bags tonight. It's a two bagger tonight. Oh, shit. Somebody's going to win all that shit, but first we have to ask an important question. We'll start with you Amy.

Oh, aren't you excited? Who knows which way we're going to go after Amy. You already told me you saw a movie this afternoon. What was it? Collateral Beauty. Oh no! Tell the truth! Oh, wrong one. Wrong, no. Tell the truth.

Oh, wrong one. Wrong Oscar bait. Damn it. It's an Oscar-bation exercise. Will Smith came back like, oh, you didn't give me a nod for concussion. I'll show you fucking Oscar bait. I can cry even harder this time.

I'm going to play a guy who talks, writes letters to hope. Fuck you. It was real bad. You should come back, return to sender, and that should be the end of the movie. He's on a Jim Carrey downward spiral. Oh, my God.

He's going to flip the fuck out unless he gets his goddamn Oscar. Collateral Beauty is his The Majestic for sure. That's going to make some people mad at me it was so bad there were a lot of people crying there and then I was judging them the audience was crying? yeah

they were crying about the price I hadn't seen a movie in a while I wanted to do my homework and I just fucking blew it I got out of it like an hour ago. I don't know. I love Will Smith. Helen Mirren plays Death. Yeah.

And what are the other ones? Kate Winslet and Ed Norton are Will Smith's best friends. Is Katie Holmes love? Keira Knightley plays Love. Oh, right. And then some kid we just met plays... Time. Time.

Yeah. Who plays Parsley in Sage? The amount of time I want to spend on this movie is up. It was not... I don't know. I love Will Smith, and then he was barely in it. You know? I like to live my life...

Will Smith is barely in it? I mean, kind of. He, like... I thought he was going to be, like, the most central character, but he probably has fewer lines than everybody else, except for the ones where he's sobbing. He's not living Big Willie style anymore. Oh, because he plays a guy who doesn't talk. He plays a guy who doesn't talk a lot.

Well, yeah. He's quiet. I'm giving away the entire movie, but you shouldn't see it anyway. It's so bad. Does he talk more in I Am Legend, where he is alone and there's no one to talk to? Yes.

I think he does. I think he does. And I don't know. He should just be like a cool, like funny action guy and like not have a shirt and just. He had a shirt the whole time. Oh, so you want him to be homeless in every movie? He had a suit in that movie. Homeless and cut.

I just want him to be charming and not a pile of fucking tears. Which, like, if I want to see that, I mean, that's what I am. So I'm... I'm an easy... Charming pile of tears. Yes. Oh. I'm an easy cry and I did not cry at this movie. It was so fucking bad. And they say the title

a bunch of times. There's one... Do you remember the conversation where it was literally like, you have to look at the collateral beauty. What's collateral beauty? Collateral beauty is this. I don't believe in collateral beauty. Collateral beauty is real.

It goes on for so, they say it like 17 times. Oh, I can't wait to go and clap every time. It's, I saw it alone and I was mad. Bravo, bravo.

Yeah, you gotta see it with a friend because Because they don't say Batman versus Superman Dawn of Justice once. Just waiting for it the entire time. Give me half of it.

What's eating Gilbert Graves? They don't say any of it. I don't remember. Yeah, I don't think they say that either. No, nobody ever asked Gilbert Grave what he was eating. I'll tell you what's eating Gilbert Grave. He's got a fucking huge ass mother. She's eating everything.

So it's very, very aggravating and time consuming. Dealing with his gigantic mother. You're saying his mom is eating him? Is that what happened? No, it's eating at him. It's a metaphor. Yeah. He loves her, though. I at him. It's a metaphor. Yeah. He loves her, though.

I'm sorry. I don't know. Got it. What if his name was Dilbert Dong? Would the movie be called What's Sucking on Dilbert Dong? Somebody look that up. That movie has to exist. Could somebody Google?

Get on that quick. I think Jenna Jameson was in that. Charlotte Stokely. All right, Graham, what was the last movie you saw? Yesterday I Saw Fences. Oh, isn't that neat when they make a play into a movie and you're like, damn, that would have been awesome if I had seen it when they were in a play.

Yeah, they should have just, I should have just seen it on Broadway because they didn't adapt at all. It's all this... It's such a mistake when they take a Broadway play and then they don't change it for the medium of film

and they just have people come on and talk, talk, talkity, talkity, talk, talk. It's a play. Yeah, but this is a movie. But also... So you should show it to me. Yeah, but it's a waste of the format. It's like you don't always have to be sitting on a couch

around one coffee table together. The opening scene is obviously, if you go to fucking Samuel French, you'll see the blocking in the first page of the play as how they did it. And then instead of going and showing me, because it's a goddamn movie, they just talk it up and talk talk.

If you go to Samuel French and request a polio. You're absolutely right, though, Graham. It's very stagey. But also, the performances are good and the material is good. It did drive me nuts that it just felt like, wow, I wish I had seen this on Broadway. If you would have seen it on Broadway. Because they did this every night. This intensely.

There they spent, you know, days doing it. And they got to cut and have lunch. If you would have seen it on Broadway, you would have walked out and gone, this is fucking amazing. Because that's, it was great theater. But for the movies, you got to, it was the problem with August Osage County. It was too fucking yappity theater talk. Right. But this is, that movie failed

in a lot of ways. Right. There's fantastic scenes in it, though. Fences is really, like, the performances, because, you know, Denzel and Viola Davis,

they did those roles on Broadway and won Tonys for it. Denzel directed it, right? Yeah, yeah, and he directed it, but it's, man, it's just really

watching a play being filmed. Right. Because it's a play. Right, but it's a different, it's just really watching a play being filmed. Right. Because it's a play. Right, but it's a different... I know what you're saying. I'm being obtuse. 12 Angry Men was a play.

A Few Good Men was a play. Men, Men, Men was a play. And you can make it into a movie and then you adapt it. You figure out ways to open it up or whatever. Yeah. They did a little bit of that in Fences, but Denzel didn't spend a lot of time worrying about it. What?

Nothing. I feel like there's a fence between us now. But yeah, but it's like, it's not an Oscar grab like Collateral Beauty It's a good film I mean, they should both get Oscar nominations For their performances, I think Denzel and Viola Davis

But I'm leaning towards some of the other things I've seen And haven't seen In terms of like Who should win They got their Tonys, good for them But they are really good They are good They're very good

Denzel's got like two Oscars though, right? Doesn't he have a supporting and a He got a glory and a training day But they are really good. They are good. They're very good. Denzel's got like two Oscars though, right? Doesn't he have a supporting and a... He got a glory and a training day, I think. I think that's how it broke down. I had one of those ones too. It cost me $400. A glory and a training day. Well, look how good you look.

That's what he should have done is got Antoine Fuqua to direct Fences. Get a little fucking action in there, you know? Jesus Christ. Maybe a body count. No, you wanted car chases. Yeah, it didn't have enough car chases. And it needed a third act.

It made no sense. The Magnificent Seven Fences. Maybe bring in the cast of Picket Fences. The TV program? You're dismissed, Amy Miller. Was Don Cheadle in it? Leave my courtroom. No, Don Cheadle wasn't in Picket Fence.

No, there was another show. Cheadle was on TV. He was on TV, right? He played the lawyer on that show. Oh, yeah, yeah. The Showtime one? No. Oh.

It'll come to me. With Kristen Bell? With Five-ish Finkel Yep What the fuck show is this My phone is in the green room Like Boston Legal Nope

Wow The Practice Nope This game must end Please Donnie Donnie Donnie Donnie Have you ever thought about a TV podcast

Huh Huh Huh Doug loves TV Donnie, Donnie, Donnie. Have you ever thought about a TV podcast? Huh? Huh? Huh? Doug loves TV. I've got one more question for Graham before I ask you and Guy. Okay. So think about your answer, last movie you saw.

Graham, you did a Rogue One spoiler episode on Comedy Film Nerds? Yes, sir. That is correct. Thank you. One guy. Now, but here's the interesting thing about Rogue One spoiler episode on Comedy Film Nerds? Yes, sir. That is correct. Thank you. One guy. Now, but here's the interesting thing about Rogue One. It's like people haven't seen it yet. They don't really want it spoiled per se.

How long do you wait? What's the etiquette? Well, also, especially when in the first five minutes of Rogue One, you are basically told you know what's going to happen because it's a prequel right and you know what happens in star wars episode four right so what is there to spoil or are people that sensitive that just even pointing out what i just pointed out is a fucking spoiler is this like if a tree falls in the thing? Is that what this fucking question is? It's like a comedy film nerd, Kwan. Yeah, if a tree falls in the wood, does a bear wipe his ass with it?

If you meet Martin Scorsese on a bridge, kill Martin Scorsese on a bridge. Holy shit, I was watching The Aviator today on HBO. Oh, that's not bad. Oh, no, I'm thinking of The Rocketeer, but please continue. Yeah, The Aviator. Yeah, The Rocketeer but please continue yeah the Aviator yeah the Rocketeer was the first Howard Hughes movie and then Scorsese made one called the Aviator

and in the Aviator if you guys get a chance to see it on HBO or on your own personal Blu-ray or whatever fucking everybody's eyes are crazy bright like they're all wearing the way the movie

shot everyone's eyes are super bright like Leonardo DiCaprio's eyes are super bright blue and a lot of other people's are bright blue and Alan Alda's are bright green but their eyes are all really fucking bright did you try adjusting your hotel TV it's not the hotel TV I'm telling you it's HBO

he did kind of a technicolor thing but the eyes It's not the hotel TV. I'm telling you. It's HBO. He did kind of a technicolor thing, but the eyes really fucking pop, and I found it distracting. Leo's eyes. That's it? That's all he's got. Okay. Anyway, what were you saying? I saw a movie.

Yeah. Yesterday was Christmas. And my kids, being half Jewish, we all went for Chinese food in a movie. It's a tradition. But since we're black, we saw Hidden Figures. Which was great. It was awesome. It was the best.

It was like a... Who's seen Hidden Figures? No one here. Don't front. It's cool. We're friends. But It was like... Who's seen Hidden Figures? No one here. Don't front. It's cool. We're friends, but, you know, fucking go see it. How was Janelle Monae? Is she a good actress? Janelle Monae was great in that.

Everybody was good. Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner did his ass off. Kevin Costner? He did. He was Kevin Costner-ing all over the fucking place, and it was delicious. Kristen Dunst is in it, and she's great. Everybody was really, really good, and it was delicious. Kristen Dunst is in it and she's great. Everybody was really, really good and it was a well done

story and it had the good humor and the things and the crying and the stuff and the things. It was, man, if I was in eighth grade, that'd be probably one of my favorite historical films of all time. You know what I'm saying? It was really good. Yeah, and space, astronaut stuff. Space, man, fucking John.

The guy who john glenn was hilarious too uh i recommend it highly all right go see it in figures and do you ever recommend anything not highly yes yes what's the kevin smith walrus one which i like but i can't say i recommend it tusk right it's a fine everything is well done but i can't say i recommend the film well you could walk around saying that about everything no i just say it about that one really i generally can either recommend or not recommend pretty clearly but that one i'm like i don't yeah well i always go to a movie with my mother on the holidays. What did you see? So since yesterday was Christmas, we went. She gets to pick.

And I was very happy at her choice. Oh, okay. What? He's got a new movie out. Moana. He does? Jean-Claude Van Damme has a new one? I thought.

What? On the Netflix movie. Oh, okay. Yeah. I drive down to San Diego, and I pick up my mom, and we look at Netflix. That's nasty, really, because you know what comes after. It's a Christmas tradition. We just stare at Netflix.

Smallest device I can find. Me and my mom just cuddle up and watch. Oh, look at that, mommy. He's got your dad's quads. No, we went to the theaters and saw La La Land. Oh! Yes. Was that good?

It's so good. He loved it. Everybody says it's great. It's ridiculously good. It's good fun. I could see why anyone would hate it. It's like perfectly hateable if you want to hate, you know, like if you don't like musicals, it's a fucking musical.

You're going to have to deal with the singing and dancing. But Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling are like, they're both so crazy talented and engaging throughout. I thought throughout the whole thing. My mom thought parts of it were slow, but she also, you know, drinks her beverage by

lowering her mouth all the way to the cup holder. It's like people on the other end of the row are like, is that guy's mom blowing him during the movie? Only on Christmas. It's a Christmas miracle. It's just the taint. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. But I'll tell you, there's not a lot of... You could do a spoiler episode of La La Land, Graham.

No, we could do a spoiler episode of La La Land, but I did like it. I don't like musicals normally, but that movie was a lot of fun. It's quite stylish. Yeah, it's a love letter to L.A. To L.A., to music, to the acting profession, to show business. And that's what I, you know, without spoiling anything,

I just think the movie starts so beautifully the way. There's a horrible traffic backup in Los Angeles on a ramp. I think it's like the 110 or some shit. He takes all the side streets to his job as a weatherman, and then there's Sarah horrible traffic backup in Los Angeles on a on-ramp. I think it's like the 110 or some shit. There's a weatherman and then there's Sarah Jessica Parker. No, no, there's just a bunch of people stuck in traffic and they all get out of their cars and start singing about how they came to Southern California

to be to follow their dreams and then the song quickly becomes about how they're all pretty much struggling and not you know they don't know if it's ever going to work out or not it sounds unrealistic to me but because the words are it's hard to catch all the words when you're watching the movie for the first time but but basically they're all just singing about how what a struggle it is but then at the end of the song is them going, but tomorrow when we wake up,

we're going to be in the sun. And it's just about how the struggle is real, but also who has it easier than people who live in fucking Southern California? You know? The weather is so good. And then the movie

goes from there. So I was like, I was into it already at that point. And it's also about jazz in Gaio, and there's no black people in it. So that's a great twist on what's going on with jazz. That's not true. Everyone knows there's no black people in Los Angeles. No, I'm kidding.

All the guys that Ryan Gosling plays jazz with are black. Every single one of them, I think. And then John Legend, of course, has a big part in it as a sellout to jazz. But I've said too much. No, he just wants to innovate jazz and Ryan Gosling's more old school.

He's old school. He's conservative. Yeah, as white people are. They tend to be. White people don't like change. I want my black jazz to not change. You can kiss my black jazz. How about that?

My entire funky modern 21st century black jazz. Somebody wrote my entire funky modern 21st century black jazz somebody wrote a think piece or a blog about how racist uh la la land is because it's about white people and and their love of jazz and like i get i i guess that that makes sense but i was like if that person's mad at la la land for not being enough about uh black people in jazz they should be really mad at all that jazz the movie about Roy Scheider as a dying white man

has jazz in the fucking title and it doesn't have any black people playing jazz in it I know it's it's a leap I just wanted to smoke weed and talk about movies it's a big leap I'all are so deep. I just wanted to smoke weed and talk about movies. It's a big leap, I know.

But you gotta, yeah, you gotta see this movie. And jazzercise is mostly white people. There's a lot to be said for that. You make some good points. What is it?

The Utah Jazz? The Utah Jazz. Yeah, they're all black. They're black. And we all, I mean, Utah is the capital of jazz. It is. It is for jazz. Utah. It goes to die.

Yeah. People, the people who play jazz hate coffee. They hate, well, I was going to say they hate having lots of wives, but they'd probably like that, okay? That part's alright. They'd probably be alright with that. Alright, well, sorry to... That was... I don't know what just happened.

We'll fix it in the post. We won't do shit to it in the post. But we will say, let the games begin! People brought name tags. Pick one you like. Bring it back to

your seat. And then we'll play some games. I thought I could fill this time with singing because we don't have any ads in this episode. But thank you to everybody for listening to the ads

on this show throughout the year, for skipping the ads, whatever your jam is, whatever it is you do, thank you for doing it. We signed a deal. Uh-oh. Whole table clapping for Graham's selection.

Graham's getting cheered. Went all the way to the back. Leave it here. Where's he going? The guy who's going to the ladies. Hello, ladies. Hello, ladies. Hello, ladies. That's what I say to my junk when I take it out.

Look at that. We did it. Graham Elwood. Oh, wow. Who are you playing for? What is that big thing? This big thing is Brian brian sylvania 65 000 and i believe uh he put well his name is brian hatfield so you've got all the actors so you've got doug benson brian hatfield

jeff tate jacob siroff sam levine emma arnold and graham elwood with two l's misspelled my name take this and jam it up your fucking ass yeah pick another one another one. I would have seen this correctly. What about London has Colin? Oh, wow. I would have broke this over your fucking head if I would have seen that correctly. Jam this right in your goddamn taint two L's. What do I look like? A fucking hillbilly? It's one L.

L wood. Not L wood like a fucking derelict mutant sewer liver, some kind of fucking Trump. Elwood. I love that Hillbilly has double L's in it twice. And you use that example of what you are not.

I'm going to fucking Hillbilly with all those L's all throughout my goddamn name. Hillbilly. Hillbilly. E. Thank you for taking the time. I really appreciate it. That is nice. That's a good name tag.

Put a lot of effort into it, except checking my name when he pulled that photo from the internet where clearly my name was spelled correctly because it was probably off of my goddamn website. What's the guy's name again? Fuckstick. His name's Brian.

You should write a book on how to make friends and influence people. His name is... Hey, Brian's friends, you got a new nickname for your friend Brian. Yeah. Fuckstick. And it's with two K's at the end.

Fuck stick. Drive an automatic. But happy holidays, Brian. Happy holidays, you fuck stick. Fuck stick salutations at this new fuck stick new year, you cocksucker. Amy?

I got Tango and Cashly. Is your name Ashley? Real throwback choice. I don't know why it's so hard to find an image of this movie online, but it's in German for some reason. Die zwei besten cops von L.A. müssen zusammenarbeiten online but it's in German for some reason.

Pretty good. Does anyone speak German in here? No. Nobody? I lived there for a year. Yes? Did I nail it pretty much? Thank you so much. We got a couple people think you did a great job with that. The ones who don't speak German are like, that was great. God bless America.

But yeah, it's got lots of little lights on it too. That's why I picked it. I like free lights. Yeah. Oh, you're going to... So is it okay if lights on it, too. That's why I picked it. I like free lights. Yeah. Oh, you're going to... So is it okay if she keeps it? Yeah. Where's Ashley?

Yeah. Ashley, is that a cool? Yeah. What? You stole it off of somebody's display? Christmas is over, Ashley. It's done. It's over.

It's the first day of Kwanzaa, everybody. I'll give it back. Nein! Ja, aber wer ist der Junge? That's yes, but where are the children? Du hast. That's all I know. It's the second day of Hanukkah I think

Third So maybe we shouldn't speak German I don't know why Sorry too soon Maybe you just shouldn't speak at all Oh wait a sec up to the crowd How about them troops Hey did you know that there's a car service Oh, way to suck up to the crowd. How about them troops?

Hey, did you know that there's a car service? They won't pick you up in any German-made cars. Did you know that? No. Yeah, it's true. It's called Juber. Yeah, thank you. Thank you very much.

I was waiting for that. If you haven't thought, if someone hasn't started that yet, they should seriously think about it. Because what Jew wants to be picked up in a German car? I pick you up in a car that runs on fuel made from potatoes. Yeah, that's good neutral fuel. Tuber. Oh. Shit, I did not see.

So my Holocaust joke wasn't that bad, now was it? I didn't notice the Dixie Riddle cup in your hand when I was talking to you. Gas chamber of a joke. You got a fucking gas chamber joke? That's a lot. What would I cross the line with? I know what I say. And that's part of the problem.

White man can't say anything anymore in this country. It's getting close to that. It's getting close to that. It's getting close to that. Unless you're an NBA coach, you pretty much don't know what the fuck you're talking about. That's how I feel about it. Did you ever get picked up by that ride service that's a little alien with a horn for a nose?

No. You've never taken Q-Bert? Did you know? That's right, I decided to take a seat. I had to sit down after that one. Take a seat, have a seat. Doug, did you know Dolly Parton's starting a ride share company? What's that? Booper.

Really? We're going to keep going? Because my inbred cousin has one Where he picks you up in a car that runs on peanut oil Goober There's a service that'll pick you up If you are completely fucked up and don't know can't

even speak. It's just regular Uber. No. I hear my rise. It's next. Are you taking a picture? No. It's next. Are you taking a picture of me? No, it's next level. Like, you can't even operate the app.

Like, if you hit all the wrong buttons, it gets you to this. And it's called stupor. That was a long way. That was a long way. Once she got that big laugh, I was like, do I walk away, or do I try to finish this shit? Do I make people wonder or do I make them go, yeah, that wasn't worth it?

There's a new sex positive ride share that picks you up and then they give you anal sex tips. Luber. What? Patience and saliva-er is a little long. There's a service where you get picked up by regular age Bruce Willis or younger Bruce Willis. Woo, please. Oh, I'm playing for Jake. Oh, shit.

Oh, I'm playing for Jake. Oh, shit. All I need is this lamp and this table and this ping pong and these pants. Yeah, he's got he's turned the jerk into the Jake. The Jake.

Yeah, yeah. I just thought it was fun. It's clever. Yeah, classic clever. And I love that movie and his dog shithead. Oh, it's a great movie. You tattooed my name on your ass. More people have read that than the phone book.

It's a very funny movie. What are we going to play, Doug? Thank you for asking. I'm here to help. We're going to start with Alex's, Jason and Deb's IMDb game. The name of this game has got a little cumbersome based on who thinks they originated the game. It's sort of become like Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

Fucking hate that name, but they got good steaks. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Isn't that it? Maybe. Yeah. Soon to be the San Diego Chargers of Anaheim, Los Angeles, Irvine.

Sorry. Oh, it's not my fault I lost to the Browns. Ah! Oh, this woman is getting up to leave. She's like, that's enough. She's had it. That's it.

That's bullshit. That's where I draw the line. Fucking Holocaust jokes are cool, but don't talk shit about my goddamn chargers. I will fucking fight you right now. I will fight you right now. Damn, that was cold. She has nothing to...

Norm Turner's a man! She has no way to consume her drink because that was the final straw. Jesus. The San Diego Comedy Company ran out of straws. IMDB game music. When this place first opened,

when this great club first opened, it was beer only. Do you guys remember that? Nope. Mike Diamond remembers. They all waited. When this great club first opened, it was beer only. Do you guys remember that? Nope. Mike Diamond remembers. They all waited until the liquor showed up. Sorry, Matt Diamond.

Apologies to anyone named Mike Diamond. Is your name Michael Diamond? No, mine's Clarence. That was one of the best hip-hop albums of all time. Paul's Boutique, second album. One of the best second albums from any band ever Yep Riddle me this my brother I'd throw out Weezer Pinkerton but that's cool

That's a good second album too Yeah Alright You guys know how this game works? No I'll tell you. IMDB page has, everybody has a top four. Four best known for at the top of the page.

I'll start reading somebody's top four. Buzz in with your own name when you think you know it. Negative one if you miss. Bonus points for each additional name if you got it. Each additional title you can name if you got it right. So quiet in here. I love it. We're ready.

It's like we're about to putt. No spoilers There's a guy eating Sour Patch Kids In the front row It's really distracting I know I kinda hella want one

Where'd you get those Patch Kids? They were on the floor Oh for your sign He's just eating his sign Yeah Sign sign I got an extra L on mine

if you want to fucking bite on that for a while. Fucking bullshit. Giving them L. They'll be L to pay. Yeah. Oh, shit. Wow. L, L-O. Oh, you are correct, shit. Wow. Hello.

Oh, you are correct, sir. Hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar. All right. Do you guys understand how this works? Yes. What are you going to buzz in with, Ngaio? Ngaio! I like it.

I like how you seem startled by yourself. I was surprised. Amy, are you going to go with Amy? Amy Miller. Oh, full name. I like it. Always. Graham?

Elwood. Elwood. Elwood. Elwood. I don't like the tongue motions they're doing I bet you don't so Graham will be buzzing in with the character name from Legally Blonde

yep that's what it was it's a film reference snap and drop Yep. That's what it was. It's a film reference. Elle Woods. Hey. Snap and drop. Yeah. What happened? I just noticed he had a medicated brownie sitting next to his sign.

Oh, next to his London is Colin sign. I can't eat it now, dude. I got to talk. I mean, thank you. After the show. Thank one kick in for like 45 minutes. Dude, you can't time of now, dude. I got to talk. I mean, thank you. After the show. Thank one kick in for like 45 minutes. Dude, you can't time a Corova, dude. I had an existential fucking crisis on a Greyhound bus

thanks to a fucking Corova chocolate chip cookie one time at two o'clock in the morning. So don't fucking tell me. I love this woman. I know my drugs, you guys. I love this woman just gave N'Gayo and Doug Benson marijuana tips. It takes a while.

You can still learn. It does, but Carrova, that shit hits me. I know my brands. Don't worry about it. It'll kick in during the Trump administration. It's just what I need. All right, here we go. That's what all medicated marijuana should say.

Take a case of Trump. Yeah. All right, here we go. Right. Legal weed and Donald Trump, because we're going to need to be high as hell to fight this shit. All right, anyway, keep going.

Straight up. Sorry, I didn't mean to upset your fans in Iowa. Go. Straight up. Sorry. I didn't mean to upset your fans in Iowa. Go. Thank you. Thank you for yielding the floor, Senator Beelum. I reserve the rest of my time. Who's top four on IMDb starts with Guardians of the Galaxy? Second movie.

Jurassic World. Umgayo. Oh, he got in there ahead of Elwood. What do you think it is, Umgayo? Crisp Rat. Oh, it is a Crisp Rat. Very good. So you get one point for that, and you get one more bonus point.

You get to name two more Chris Pratt vehicles. Was he in two more? Two more Chris Pratt things that may be listed in his top four. Parks and Rec. And one more? Yeah, don't cheat you guys um right parks and then rec uh it's mash i don't fucking know you remember that episode of mash he was like three he was the baby when it was like, you got the baby! Chris Pratt was the baby that was played by a rooster.

You got one of those ride parks and recreation. And then the other one they listed was Her. Yeah, the motion picture Her. Weird. I like that movie. Scarlett Johansson? Yeah, he works in the front desk at the place where he writes his greeting cards.

That guy's like, I don't want to fuck my phone. Yeah, that's a pretty good impression. That's that movie in a nutshell. Didn't he also, wasn't he banging a mannequin in a different movie for a while? Or is that a different? What? Oh, sorry. Ryan Gosling was in the real girl.

Lars in the real girl. Oh, okay. Yeah. Listen, you know. Someone loves that movie. I know, I know. Caucasians banging inanimate objects and fucking. They can't handle real women, yo.

Raping robots and shit. You guys are weird, man. NASCAR's cool, I guess. Okay, so Chris Pratt was the correct answer to the first round. Now we're going to play another round. And Ngayo's in the lead with two points. Play three rounds and a tiebreaker if necessary. is in the lead with two points.

Played three rounds and a tiebreaker if necessary. Who's best known for Kingdom of Heaven? Underworld. Amy Miller. Oh, what do you got Kevin Costner Not Waterworld

Are you sure I am I'm at 90% I'm at 95% I'm 90% water. The next title, so Amy, you're out. That makes sense. Midnight in Paris.

And the final of the four listed, worth one point if you can get in and get it, Frost Nixon. Elwood. Elwood. What do you got, Elwood? Michael Sheen? That's correct.

Boom! Very nice. Very nice. Yeah, he's got an interesting top four. I'd rather see like 30 Rock in there. Maybe one of the Twilight movies where he acts extra crazy. Extra crazy. Yeah, he has a lot of fun in those movies.

All right. Gaio has two points. Graham has one. Amy has negative one. Thank you. Yeah. Girl power. I don't know why you're cheering for that, but that's good.

It's encouragement. It's encouragement. You should encourage her in German. Where were you yesterday when the Chargers were playing? I was at the Raiders game. Oh, no, that was two days ago. Same thing. Same day, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't bring up the Raiders. Why? I mean, let me rephrase. Let's talk about movies. That girl that got up earlier is going to cut you If you say Raiders again Her dude's like yep

I got my ear reattached last week Fuck That's hardcore Who's top four in IMDB starts with The Hunger Games Lots of people in The Hunger Games? Lots of people in The Hunger Games. Amy Miller. Amy Miller wants to guess anyway.

Coming back from behind, what do you got? Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Lawrence is correct. It's a gamble. I like to gamble. Good gamble. Now you get to name three more Jennifer Lawrence, J-Law, as I call her when she doesn't answer.

Okay, Joy. Two more. Silver Linings Playbook. One more. Another Hunger Games, Doug? Exact title, please. Hunger Games, Doug? Exact title, please. Hunger Games. Isn't there like a...

First of all, good guess. Three? Second of all, shut up. Like mocking something in it? Shush! Mom, stop it! Shut up! Why are you helping? Hunger Games Mockingjay.

Okay, that's a good try. But only the first Hunger Games made her top four. The others are... So, Amy, that getting Hunger Games right brought you up to zero. And then... Thank you. at her top four. The others are so Amy that that getting Hunger Games right brought you up to zero. And then

Thank you. Her other three are Winter's Bone. Sorry. It's cold outside. American Hustle. And Silver Linings Playbook. Okay.

One point for me. But that brings you up to a tie. Okay, one point for me! But that brings you up to a tie with Graham with one point each, but N'Gayo wins this game with two points. Ah, yeah! However, it's the most points I've ever had on this show. And I love that, thanks to Graham Elwood, we have little fun music

in between the games. Fun transitional music. Ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom. Now it's time to play ABC Deez Nuts! Oh! Ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom-ba-boom. Now, as you know,

Deez Nuts are right next to my taint. Deez Nuts! This show is kicking off my holiday taint tour, so I'd be remiss if we didn't spell holiday taint. So, Ngaio, you get to go first,

then we'll go to Amy, and then Graham. You just name a movie that starts with that letter? What starts with the next letter in spelling holiday taint. So any movie, N'Gayo, that begins with the letter H would qualify for you to stay in this game. Hellraiser. Hellraiser begins with an H. I worry about the guy with the pins on his face because I think, what if he trips? I think he's already

tripping. He's tripping throughout the whole movie. I don't want them to get pushed in further. If you fall down and push pins in your face, young man, don't come running to me. Exactly. I went with a movie called Holiday Inn. Oh, sure.

That's an old holiday winter movie. Old classic holiday winter movie. All right, Amy. O. Am I supposed to do H or O? O. O, fellow. O, brother, where art thou?

O. Okay. Do you want to just say a lot of O's? I didn't know if you would give me O, fellow. You just got to stick to one. Well, and when you went O, fellow, you would have been right if you just stopped at O. Because there was an Othello I'm sorry Doug.

No you're killing it. You gave me three correct answers. Alex on Jeopardy would love that if you had multiple correct answers. I went with Ocean's Eleven from 1960. Yeah, that one.

The Rat Pack. Yeah. L is your letter, Graham. Live and let die. L would. Is there two L's or one? You're going live and let die? Yes, sir.

I went with looking for Mr. Goodbar. Oh, what a weirdo. Yeah. Is she dying? I is your next letter there, Gaio. I? I. I.

I. I. Comma. I. Ro. All right. I. comma, row. All right. I, robot. No, I went with It's a Wonderful Life.

I was going to go with Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. That's cool. I mean, you could go with any of the Indiana Jones movies except for Raiders. We're trying to match you. We're trying to match. I didn't know that until this show. D. It's not important to know that. D.

Dumb and Dumber. No. I mean, yes. But I picked everybody's favorite Christmas movie, Die Hard. Yippee-ki-yay. Finally, we can end this debate. I don't know why it's a hot debate all of a sudden. It's not a debate.

It's a distraction is what it is. It's a good Christmas movie, right up there with Lethal Weapon. Lethal Weapon, once again, the finest, and I've said this before, and I stand by it, it is the finest action series. The finest of all the action series. Yes, sir. More than your Fastest and your Furiousest.

But those movies are about family. That's true. But they're all about family. Hey, Graham. Hey, Graham. Hey. Hey. Hey. I have some A movies, but I can't think of a Christmas one.

Oh, that's what this is? Christmas ones? No, it's not. Is it? No, you're just trying to match Doug. Yeah, but he's been picking all Christmas movies. Oh, God. You haven't noticed the trend? Let's

go with... Ah, shit. I don't know. Alright. And Justice for All. I went with Assault on Precinct 13. Because nothing says Christmas. Took place on Christmas. Did it? Christmas Eve. N'Gayo, why?

I ask myself that every day. Roll a joint, stare into the abyss, have my coffee. Fap Deez nuts Are you okay over there? Why? I probably do We'll come up with one Is there one called

I don't know why this is such a challenge I probably do. We'll come up with one. Is there one called... I don't know why this is such a challenge. All of a sudden. Give me a minute. The mind plays games. What? Yule night. Yule night?

Sure. Fuck it. All right. I don't get to say this often in this game. You're out. All right. I can live with that. Amy, why?

What? Oh. Oh, I have why now? Yeah, because you're the guy who couldn't do it. I bet you that's a movie. It's a horror film. Yule night? Y-U-L-E. Yeah, no, I get what you were going for.

I'm fucking looking up. If anything, it would be called You'll Log. You'll Log? It'd be about a murderer that chokes people with a log. You don't have to murder them, though. Yeah. Okay. Amy?

Yard, but the longest one. That's the prequel, actually, to The Longest Yard. It's a great movie. It's before the prison was built it's fantastic okay Amy you're out Graham so wise on me huh yeah

I know why why why him yes I know. Why? Why? Yeah. Why him? Yeah. Yes. Yellow. Let's go Young Guns.

Young Guns. Yes. I went with Yanks. What? Not a high school play, but like an actual movie. All right, Graham. T. This is just for fun.

You win. Oh, okay. T. How about the Burt Reynolds classic, The End? The Poseidon Adventure. A. Arrival. Are we there yet?

I. I. Arrival Are we there yet? I I Inglorious Bastards Imbruge H

N, I'm sorry What does it mean? I put an H in taint That's what they say about you That's how they say it in the south What does it mean? I put an H in taint. That's what they say about you. Oh, that's how they say it in the South. Taint. I'd like you to enjoy my taint. Would you do me a kindness and tickle my taint?

The juniper breeze is blowing through my taint this afternoon. Bless your heart. N. N is for me? Yeah. N. Neverland. Next.

What? It's a horror movie. Okay. I went with New Year's Eve. Oh, right. Terror Train. Trading Places. 200 Cigarettes.

All of those movies take place on Christmas or New Year's. Yeah. Fucking Yanks. I had no idea. Looking for Mr. Goodbar, I had no idea that was a Christmas movie. It's a feel-good Christmas movie in the 70s. And I guess Ocean's Eleven, they pull the heist in the first Ocean's Eleven. They do it on New Year's Eve.

I think so. There you go. All right. So nobody really won that. You told me you won already. I won. So nobody really won that. You told Graham he won already.

I won. I did say that Graham won, but do you really feel proud about it? Not so much you won, it's just me and Amy lost. I'll stand by my initial statement. Nobody really won, but Graham continues to maintain control of the board.

First loser. And you get to go first in this next game, and we'll switch the order around. We'll go to Amy, then to Ngaio, and then to me, because I like to play along, because it's time to play Last Man Stanton. Yeah! Oh, yeah! Stanton, Stanton.

Is this what Ryan Gosling does in most of La La Land? Pretty much. Yeah, this is the part my mom thought was slow. Stanton on these hoes. Mom, quit drinking all that beverage. Last man Stanton. Everything should have a theme song. It's true.

There's a gentleman in the crowd. We've already spoke to him. He reached out to me today on Twitter. Maybe it was yesterday. Probably today. His Twitter name is Matt underscore Diamond. Matt Diamond. Yeah. Empire Strikes Matt

was his name tag. It's cute. Yeah. So cute. And so you got a suggestion for Last Man Standing? That's a good one? Or is it why your wife refused to come with you? A little bit of both.

A little bit of both? Okay. Let's hear it. Anthony Hopkins. Anthony fucking Hopkins. Ooh. Tony Hopkins. Westworld, of course, does not count.

Yeah, dang is right. That's what we all know him for now is the guy that slows down Westworld to a crawl. Oh shit, it's Anthony Hopkins. Let's go make a sandwich. He's going to give a speech about the preciousness of life and butterflies life and butterflies

he yells at the one guy that's working on the naked robot for putting like a smock over the naked robot and he says you don't need to worry about it. These robots don't feel shame because they're fucking robots. But the guy doesn't go, I just don't want to look at robot crank all day

while I'm trying to fix his goddamn eyelids. It's not making the robot more comfortable. It's just making me more comfortable. Yeah. It doesn't even come. The guy doesn't even say that. It's just like the robot more comfortable. It's making me more comfortable. Yeah. It doesn't even come. The guy doesn't even say that. It's just like, yeah, you're right. Well, would you say that to your boss?

I'm a robot homophobe. What? Would you say that to your boss? Would you be like, listen, asshole. Well, I don't know. Anthony Hopkins might eat my liver. All right. So why is everybody acting like, wow, that's a crazy reference.

Yeah. Why would you? Oh. Oh, hey, Doug. Yeah. Don't eat a human liver on the tank. He was just acting in that movie, Doug. Anthony Hopkins doesn't eat human livers. All right, so Graham, you have to start us off with any Anthony Hopkins.

And keep in mind, all three of you, that you get a lifeline, which is the person whose name tag you chose at any point where you... Jake, be ready. Where you feel like you... Okay. As soon as you feel like you need help. All right. I'll start us off with Silence of the Lambs. Go to that.

Yeah. Get that one out of the way. How did you think of that so quickly? Graham has a very agile mind. But now it's your turn. Quid pro po. Quid pro co.

Quid pro quo. Quid low. What? Low, get low, get low. Quid quo flow. Get low, get low. My turn, right? From the window to the wall.

To the soot, dip down my ball. All y'all bitches crawl. All skeet, skeet, motherfucker. All skeet. Skeet, goddamn. Damn. I just tried to say quid pro quo. That's all that happened.

Quid pro quo that's all that happened quid pro quo from the quid pro Clarice to the wall to the hoe remains of the day whoa that's one nobody else

appear would have said I like that movie though it is good it's my favorite of the what are those movies called? Boring That was so juvenile Do you know any juvenile?

Merchant Ivory Slow motion for me I like it like that Do I know any juvenile? Are you fucking kidding me? Use it. It's my favorite Merchant Ivory movie. Oh, Merchant Ivory. Yeah.

I love those guys. I like to turn the sound down and turn on some juvenile and just watch. Yeah, it's a very genuine role for him. Did you say genuine? Genuine? Did you say one yet? Or are you just going to sing?

Batman. Batman? Sure, fuck it. No, that's not how it works. You have to say something that's correct. You don't just say anything and then go fuck it. Yeah, fuck it. How many times, you've been on this show 13 times. Come on, are you telling me

he was never, ever Alfred one time? No. What? He had to have been at least once. I mean, come on, one time. He had to come in there and go, oh, Master Bruce at one time. He had to come in there and go, oh, Master Bruce at one time. All right, so let's use your lifeline.

Jake. Let's use your lifeline. Where's the Jake at? What? Thor. He was in Thor. Thor. Good job.

Batman. He was in You Were Lost. Good job. Batman. He was in Eulog. Thor, Batman, close enough. Yeah, yeah, he played the innkeeper in Eulog who was like, you don't have the right fireplace. Yeah, that was great. I might as well just get it over with. Thor 2, The Dark World.

Is that right? Okay, good. Well, that burned through a couple of mine. Or we could have Marvels teach you those. I'm going to go with the movie Magic. Oh, yes. Super creepy. Yes.

Super creepy. Way back in the day. I actually saw that in a drive-in. That's the ventriloquist one? Yeah. Ooh. Graham was conceived while watching that movie. Yep.

It makes a lot of sense. Yep. Ashley. Oh, we're going to her lifeline. I'm so bad at this game. It's a lot of pressure. What do you got, Ashley? Noah.

Noah. Noah. Is that right? Noah. Yeah. Is that Ashley? Noah. Noah. Noah. Is that right? Noah. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. Noah.

Noah. Well, I saw it. It was Russell Crowe and Anthony Hopkins was like, Hey, what are you doing? Building an ark? And Russell Crowe was like, Yep. Let's see if she floats. Yeah. Noah. Yeah.

Noah. Okay. N'Gayo. This one's going to wrap up quick. I like this. Apparently so. Yeah, it's putting us right back on schedule. He wasn't in Batman?

No, okay. We're just going to stab at some shit. Okay, but let's at least establish that if he wasn't a Batman. No, stab at. Go ahead. Oh, he's not in any batman okay but if he was he wasn't in batman he wasn't alfred to jack nicholson no right okay but he wasn't in any other one okay all right fuck uh. I have one, but I forgot. Oh, wait. He was in... I'm just kidding.

No. Fucker. He wasn't in... He wasn't in... What was it? Red Dragon or whatever? Yeah, fuck. I don't...

I can't say. He's trying to do other Hannibal Lecter movies. I don't know any of his films. I swear to God, you guys. Yeah, no, he's kind of a tough one. Gallipoli. Was he in that? He should be, but...

He should be, but he wasn't. Yeah, because he's one of a tough one. Gallipoli. Was he a man? He should be. He should be, but he wasn't. Yeah, because he's one of the greatest Australian actors that we've got going. Fucking inherit the win. I don't know. He was fucking... You gave it a good try. Anthony Hopkins is not an easy one. What's the one?

Chariots of Fire. Was he a man? No, stop it. Jesus Christ. Now you're just going to name British shit? James Bond. Monty Python. Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Oh, oh, oh. Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean. All right. I'm going to go with Free Jack. Is that the kangaroo?

Oh, no. With the Emilio Estevez? Yeah, all right. And Mick Jagger? Yep. Damn. Good call. Thanks.

Graham? and Mick Jagger damn good call thanks Graham I gotta go you going to your lifeline let's do it just don't add an extra letter in there it's so hard Matt what is it Brian red 2 oh red 2 good job yeah red 2

is that what you're going to go with Graham do you agree with that man I you agree with that, man? I do agree with that. Red 2? Yes, sir. That is correct. Yeah. Thanks, Brian. Trying to worry you a little bit there. Sorry, my ass just hit your side. I feel like Brian gave me a sweet gift that I could

maybe say red. Is he in red? First of all, you're out anyway. Why? Why am I out? Oh, you're not out yet? No. Okay.

He's not in the original red, so you're out. Fuck you, Brian. You can't even spell Graham's name. Man, you were ready for that. Look at this sexy waiter right there. Yeah. Wait, what's happening? Why are we doing that?

I'm sorry. He's being equal opportunity. I didn't want her to think I was only creepy to the female staff. I want to be creepy to the male staff, too. Yeah, look at that guy. I'm a liberal progressive, so show me your taint, dude. Graham's a lib prog. And...

I have all the rebels. I'm going to go with the world's fastest Indian. Kurt Russell? Oh, no, Anthony Hopkins. The motorcycle. It was the motorcycle, right? Yeah, it was a fast motorcycle.

So, Doug, is it merely just me and you? Uh-huh. I mean, you won the prize bag for the person you're playing for. That's right, brother. Yeah. Prize bag. L to pay. But do you have another one for fun?

For fun and for free. Let's go with he's a tough one he is a very this is a this is not he doesn't have like a string of big budget ones well someone's gonna disagree with their well I just sit there and look at my phone and eat Sour Patch Kids. I can judge you.

Yeah, just sit there chewing on your brain food. Sour Patch Kid is absolutely brain food. This is obvious. Well, let's get your lifeline up here to get his prizes. Where are you at, dude? Where's he at? Brian! Come up here, buddy.

Come on. Enjoy those fishnet stockings, dick. And here's the sign. Here's your sign. There you go. Fix that fucking L before you ever show your face to me again. You should be a better proofreader, Graham. So I'm just blaming other people for you.

Congratulations. Yay! Way to go, buddy. Nice work. Seriously, nice work. I honestly, I think I'm, I cannot think of another, I'm trying to think of Anthony Hopkins.

It's really hard. Yeah, I'm tapped. What did we miss? What? Amistad. Amistad. I'm trying to think of Anthony Hopkins. It's really hard. Yeah, I'm tapped. What did we miss? What? Amistad. Amistad. Amistad.

Hearts in Atlantis. Meet Joe Black. Oh, fucking meet Joe Black. Road to Wellville. Road to Wellville. The Edge. Oh, yeah. The Edge with Daniel Baldwin.

Zorro. Zorro. Zorro something. Both Edge with Daniel Baldwin. Zorro. Zorro. Zorro something. Both fucking Zoros. The Mask of Zorro. Mask of Zorro. God damn it. I like that movie too.

Transformers The Last Knight. Transformers The Last Knight. What? The one where he kills the bear. That's called The Edge. Oh, with Alec Baldwin. The bear killing Alec Baldwin. Was he in any of the Jurassic Parks?

It's called The Edge. How come? It seems like he should have been one of those. The bear killing Was he in any of the Jurassic Parks? How come? It seems like he should have been one of those. You don't need to guess anymore. I'm just asking a question. The people are in front of us and they know. The people do know. Legends of the Fall.

Legends of the Fall. Yeah, he did make a string of big movies there, didn't he? As it turns out. Yeah, he was make a string of big movies there, didn't he? As it turns out. Yeah, he was in a lot of big stuff. I mean, that was good business he did. He sure was. Speaking of business, Graham, what do you got to plug?

Earbuds, the podcasting documentary is now for sale, ladies and gentlemen. Many of you helped make the movie possible. It's at comedyfilmnerds.com. We sell downloads starting at $7.99.

Standard F, high def, bonus features. You can pre-order DVDs. Those will be ready probably after the first of the year. So go to

comedyfilmnerds.com and get Earbuds, the podcasting documentary that Doug Benson is in. I will not confirm that. Amy Miller? You okay there, buddy? I almost fell over.

Thursday night. Thursday night in San Francisco I'll be at Doc's Lab headlining an album release show slash birthday party. My birthday's coming up. Yes. And my album just came out.

It's called Solid Gold. I'll be selling it in the back along with some pillowcases that say I'm sleeping with Amy Miller that have a portrait of me on them. I'll be back there if you want to give me your money. Oh yeah, I'll be back there

with the Comedy Film or Guide to Movies and some CDs. Yeah, buy my stuff, though. Thank you so much. Oh, so that guy's not creepy. I'm creepy with a thank you to the waitress. Thank you, waitress, for doing your job. That guy, yeah, yeah. And that's, okay. I got it.

No, no. He's creepy, Graham. Oh, okay. Come by and buy her pillowcase, weirdo. You can nut into it all fucking night. That's why I got them. You're going to sell socks next? I know he's creepy.

I just love money. I'm coming into money. Is it my turn? Yeah. Okay. New Year's Eve at the Sacramento Punchline. April 7th and 8th at the Velveeta Room in Austin. And check my podcast podcast Rolling with Ungayo

on CannabisRadio.com and iTunes and iHeartRadio. Yeah! That applause is great. Oh, and buy my shit. I'm selling a thing. And if you spend extra, you get free weed. Right? Because the weed is free, but the

little canister is $20. And we'll autograph all your signs and everything. We'll be in the back. We'll autograph. You don't have to buy anything. Just photos, autographs. We'll do it all for free. You have to buy something for me.

I'm not going to. I'm just giving it away. One more time. It's called a soft sell. Donnie. Thank you, Doug. One more time for Graham Elwood, Amy Miller, and Niall B. Lum. So they're going to go set up in the back, and I've got a stall to give them time.

Come visit Humboldt. Come visit Humboldt? Yeah. What are you doing here? Come visit Humboldt. Come visit Humboldt? What are you doing here? That was Graham Elwood, that last one. I wish they were all Graham Elwood. I mean, I know I was about to say what's going to happen if I come to Humboldt,

but I have a pretty good idea. I've been there. Shut up, Graham! You set up your merch in silence! But yeah, I've been to Humboldt, and I liked it very much, but I don't know how many Douglas Movies fans are in Humboldt. Okay, well, you got to see the show here. What's the problem?

More! Give me more! All right, well, I'll see what I can do about that. What? Is there anywhere else I need to go that's not San Diego? Santee! Kidnap the Santee Claus, throw him in a box. All right, so one of these shitheads is confusing to me.

So let's walk our way through it. Let's talk our way through it. Accidentally getting hotboxed in the chair. That's what I thought. It says chair here, but whoever wrote... I mean, I know it's tough to translate from German.

But you're going to get your little blinky lights back, and that's the most important thing. Thank you, guys, everybody, for being here. Have a great taint. And we'll see you on Valentine's Day. Get it together with the wife, Matt. Yeah, you force her to come here. Sit her up front.

I'll talk to her. I'll set her straight. I'll be like, every major holiday from now on, you've got to come here with your man. And as always, Trump is a shithead and accidentally getting hotboxed in the chair and

getting too high to be here is a shit egg.