Doug Loves Movies - Amy Seimetz, Eli Roth, Dan Van Kirk and Matt Braunger guest

Episode Date: March 27, 2019

Back home at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Amy Seimetz, Eli Roth, Dan Van Kirk and Matt Braunger to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today's show is brought to you by The Human Algorithm. The Human Algorithm is a weekly podcast that answers the question of what to watch on Netflix. Hear recommendations from your favorite Netflix stars, employees of the company, and the biggest Netflix fans around. Each episode is just 10 minutes long, perfect for short listening sessions. Think of it as a guide to help you decide what to watch on Netflix. short listening sessions. Think of it as a guide to help you decide what to watch on Netflix, but told in the voice of a trusted friend, even if you're

not friends with Ellen Page or Mary J. Blige. I know I'm going to check it out. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you find your podcasts, like this one that you're about to enjoy. Enjoy the show!

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see because Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies!

You guys, we're in Los Angeles. Show business. It's the center of show business. I need you to do better than that. I actually don't. That sucks when somebody's like, You guys ready for a show? Woo! That wasn't good enough!

Give it up! You don't have to give it up. You can save it. Save your energy. You guys are doing the right thing. We're coming to you once again from the cheapest place you can see this show live.

It's only $8.50. No drink minimum. No drinks, really, to speak of. The Upright Sisters Brigade Theater on Franklin Avenue in Los Angeles. All right, you guys.

That is a great grade on that part, so all is forgiven. It's Tuesday, March 26, 2019. I saw some amazing name tags this last weekend in Indianapolis. What have you got for me here, Los Angeles? Wow, it's like a cluster right in the middle there of some pretty sweet posters. Spider John into the Spider-Verse.

John to the Spider-Verse. John to the Spider-Verse. Spider-John. Spider-John into the Spider-Verse. I read it right, kind of. And then what's that taped to it? Some snacks and some joints. Some snacks and some joints.

All right. That's really a brazen way to do it. What's that taped to it? Some snacks and some joints. Alright. That's really a brazen way to do it. We'll see. We'll see how much my guests like snacks and joints. Because the way you put John on there is not impressive. I mean, look at Space Joe over here.

He colored in the letters with a different shade of green. And he put some Sour Patch on there. That's pretty smart. The Right Steve. How long have you been running around with that one? About a year. About a year?

It doesn't look like it was made today. That's all I'm saying. But it is nice. And I'm glad that you have a name tag that you can go to whenever it's time to come here again what's this one Doug and Leslie make a porno and then you taped a bunch of candy

onto it I'm in I'm lured alright well there's a few other ones there's some good ones I think there's another one back there that looks like some Reese's eggs. Yeah, I always like those. But I don't get a pick.

It's not going to be up to me. But if it gets down here, I'll eat one. All right, thanks, you guys. Doug plugs. Las Vegas this Saturday at 420. Doug Loves Movies returns to the Comedy Cellar at the Rio Hotel. Please come if you want me to keep coming back to Vegas.

It's my special plea. Douglas Movies is back here at UCB Franklin next Tuesday, April 2nd. And we'll be loving movies at Zany's in Nashville on Saturday, April 13th at 4.20. I'm doing stand-up in two places I haven't been to before, Hoover, Alabama, on Sunday, April 14th, and Huntsville on Monday, April 15th.

For all my dates and dates and links, go to DouglasMovies.com. That's DouglasMovies.com! Yeah! Go! Go! That's weird to throw a Wahlberg at the end. Wahlberg! I'll do a

couple of dugouts. I want to do a dugout to Elle Fanning. I saw Teen Spirit this afternoon and she sings real good. And didn't know she could sing. And then dugout to my allergies because they've really been super annoying.

Yeah, I want my allergies to fuck off. Prize bag. Look at that beautiful pink bag I've been carrying around all day. Had a bunch of stuff to do today so just everywhere I went, I'd walk around with beautiful pink bag I've been carrying around all day. I had a bunch of stuff to do today, so just everywhere I went, I'd walk around with this pink bag. It's got a matching pink thing inside of it

from our friend Harmar Superstar, his band Heartbones. It's a lovely pink sleep mask that says, This time it's different. Whatever that means. This time I'm going to sleep. A big, really big sippy cup from some show that I saw in New York. Another thing, this is, people give me weed gadgets and stuff all the time. And this is one of those deals where you stick it on your lighter.

Or your finger, I guess. But you stick it on your lighter. or your finger, I guess, but you stick it on your lighter and then you pull it off of your lighter whenever you want to, you know, poke a bowl. Yeah. I mean, I just

envision that thing just jamming straight underneath my fingernail and making me very unhappy. So that's why I'm giving that away, because that just seems that thing just seems, that thing just seems fucking dangerous. And then we got a Douglas movie sticker.

Oh, this is one of the better prizes I've given away in a while. This is a small packet of Velvet Swing Cannabis Enhanced Sensual Lubricant. Yeah, it's got 20 milligrams of THC and 6.8 milligrams of CBD. And it lists a couple things here. It says it's for romance,

that it's designed by women but fun for everyone. And that it's a cannabis product. So whoever wins tonight, I'd love a report. I'd love to hear back about what happened. And then I also brought, oh, there's a little button in here. What's this button say on it? It's a cool button that says, we're fucked.

And then I also get a lot of these uh rubber band uh bracelet thingies from when i'm on rock cruises especially i got a lot of them on the 311 cruise and so i'll put one of those in the in the bag but then i'm also going to periodically flick them into the audience for throughout the show so you so much people can get them. All that stuff, plus stuff brought by my four guests. Let's get them out here. Please give it up for Amy Siemets, Eli Roth, Matt Bronger, and Dan Van Kirk. Hey, you guys. Let's say hello to everybody individually, starting with my first-time guest.

Tonight's... Bless you. Bless you. Somebody else has An allergy situation Maybe you're You're allergic To my allergies Amy did I say

Your last name right Simons Simons I fucked it up We'll fix it in post But then we'll have to Take this part out too It's such a complicated

It's a domino effect All the changes you have to make but Amy Simons is your first time on the show you are starring in the about to be released Pet Cemetery remake is that a good is that the right expression for it it's a reinterpretation reinterpretation I like

it I heard that there are some changes that like there's no pets and no cemetery but it sounds it sounds terrific yeah it's terms of endearment really yeah and then you've uh you've you're no stranger to this stage you used to do improv in this very theater it wasn't improv I wrote some of my stuff oh okay yeah we but I I did a thing called machu picchu here like years ago got it what was that like but i know matt from it um god 10 probably 10 years ago 10 years ago and it's longer than that uh it's when this theater opened uh we opened the theater actually oh wow with the

performance oh yeah that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been about that long. But we were really into Japanese game shows. So it was a lot of screaming and accosting the audience and stuff like that. Yeah. I think you also got a movie coming out with our pal John Lithgow's in it and Molly Shannon. It's about Emily Dickinson. What's it called?

It's called Wild Nights with Emily. Yeah. That's coming out soon, right? Yeah. So that comes out August 12th here at the Lemley and I think a few other theaters. It's rolling out, but it premieres August august 12th so pet cemetery wait august really no not august april where are we some a month somewhere yeah yeah april april fifth and then april and then april 12th uh well yeah two movies in one month yeah yeah. Good for you. Super cool. Thank you.

Also joining us today, it's been a little bit since he's been on the show. It's always great to have him. It's Matt Bronger, everybody. How you doing? Yeah, it's been a while. It has, man. Not much. How about you? I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, that's cool.

Do you have anything? Do you have two movies coming out this month? I have three. No offense. Oh, why would you do that to Amy? It's her first time. No, that's incredible. That's awesome with Amy.

So you have zero movies? That'd be none. Zero movies coming out. That'd be a goose egg, sir. Do you have a thing? I know I just. Zero movies coming out. That'd be a goose egg, sir. Do you have a thing? I know I just called you up and said, come on down. You're always nice to do that. But do you have anything to promote?

Yeah. My new special just came out finally live in Portland that I shot in a former porn theater, the Paris. Thank you. Yeah. And so that just came out. That's something else. But yeah, same kind of deal.

You know, a new hour, shot it in my hometown. And yeah, pretty psyched it's finally out because I did it myself. I hired the crew, director, producer myself, and then got it hooked up with a distributor and stuff. So it was like went through all those stages you hate to do, but then when you do it, you learn so much more. So I'm psyched that I kind of made it all. So it was great. Yeah.

Thanks, guys. Good for you. Hey, buddy. Eli Roth is here! Congratulations on the success of the house with the coocks and the Walls. House with the Cock and Balls. Cock and Balls.

Jesus. Be correct. That's fun. That's a fun name. And again, you're just here. You don't have something specific to promote, do you? Well, I always have something. There's always a Shark Week coming up someday.

There's always a Shark Week. There's a a shark week coming up someday. There's a couple of stuff that's in post-production, but I have the History of Horror is streaming on Shudder. All the episodes are on. I'm doing a master class for the site Fiverr. So if you want to hear me talk about

storytelling, writing, producing, it's on Fiverr.com. I'm doing a master cleanse on Fiverr. I'm sorry I bought that, too, because it's not fun to watch. So yeah, that's really about it. I'm just hanging out. Why did I buy that? I'm going to get Eli's name for sure. And is there a chance for another season of History of Horror?

We're waiting to hear it. Thank you. So much to talk about. There was a lot of stuff that we wanted to get into that we didn't get to. And we're pushing. It did great, and people love it. And we're fighting to do it for Halloween 2020. So it wouldn't be for this Halloween.

If anything, it would be for next year. But we're waiting to hear from AMC. Cool. Well, yeah, get Shudder and watch the... It's so good. I watched every one of them. Not to sweat your balls up here, but it was awesome. No, they're nice.

Yeah, I was such a fan of it. Nice and fan. Don't sweat everybody's balls up here. It's a biblical expression from the Book of Paul. Don't act like you haven't heard it. No other Catholics in here. I'm the only woman, so... Do you know Eli and I work together? Don't act like you haven't heard it. I don't want any balls spitting up here. I'm the only woman, so. Yeah.

Do you know Eli and I work together? I figured you might because I saw that you, you know, follow each other on Twitter. You saw that? That's what I meant.

Yeah, thank you. He knows Amy. I'm such a fanboy of Amy's from her acting and obviously girlfriend experience and everything, but she was so good in a movie that I produced that Ty West wrote and

directed called The Sacrament which is kind of a little scene film but it's really really cool and she's just amazing at it that's cool we also work together on Twitter the collaboration never ends and finally on the panel and not not finally not last not least

it's dan van kirk hello hi everybody how you doing dog how's it going dan uh i'm doing good i'm feeling good that's great yeah things are good yeah yeah how many podcasts you have now two oh okay three ish but two oh okay see you active i think you have three it's out there because once you have one you can never say you didn't have that podcast that's true okay three yes you have three three so we got dumb people We got Letters to Rory. That is a horrible title. Pen Pals. Yes. You and Rory.

Yes. And then Hindsight, where comedians come on and bring three photos from any chapter of their life, and we just talk about the context of their life when each photo was taken. Yeah, Matt Bronger's done that. Yes, he has. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, it's really fun. It's a great episode, that one I'm on.

I would agree with that as well. Not to sweat your balls, but it is a very good episode. Way to pay it forward. Thanks, buddy. Anytime, brother. Another great movie. We can get some towels up here and a lot of sweaty balls. So sorry.

We've got to dry off before we proceed. All these gross balls. But let's talk prize bag. What do you got for the prize bag, Dan? I brought a off-the-wall Vans lunchbox. It's something cool that was given to me that I

don't have room in my living quarters for. You don't go to work every day with a lunchbox. I don't even go to work. Your podcast is called Pen Pals. You just go out to the mailbox and you're done for the day. You are not entirely wrong.

I like that wall. The bulletin board in the office back there where anybody that ever performs here ever or some that never set foot in here just have tacked to the wall these letters that people send

where they want you to, you know, sign a picture and send it back. And I got one today. I saw it on there this weekend when I was here. I was very, I'm always happy when that happens. Are you hesitant to ever open them? Why, you think they're going to be full of anthrax? I don't actually, but I get asked this all the time

with pen pals. I'm like, no, I don't, I don't think we're... I never even thought about that. I don't think you need to. You know what? Don't, don't actually, but I get asked this all the time with pen pals. I'm like, no, I don't think we're... I never even thought about that. I don't think you need to. You know what? Don't. Don't think about it. Like little springy daggers are going to shoot out of it or something.

I mean, you'd have to appreciate the execution on that. I would. In every way. I'd appreciate my execution. That's right. Well executed. But yeah, it's just, you know, you just sign the picture and send it back. They make it really easy for you.

That's what it was? They put a self-addressed stamped envelope in there. That's what it was? Mm-hmm. That's nice. Yeah. They created a couple little artsy pictures of me for me to sign. And you just put it right back?

Yeah. That's a great little cute thing. I like it. Me too. little cute thing. I like it. Me too. Somebody send a request to Dan for an autograph and write it to

here at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, Franklin Avenue, Los Angeles. And if you can get little knives in there, I won't hate you for it. Or a living scorpion. Aim high, you know. Alright, pass me that box. Okay. Yeah. What do you got for us, Matt know? Ooh. All right, pass me that box. Okay.

Yeah. What do you got for us, Matt? This is my second album, Shovel Fighter. And thank you. It's white vinyl, which I dug, and it's got a track on here called A Ghost at the Two-Man Party, which is the joke of mine I get asked the most about by college kids because it's about me and a friend getting drunk in an empty house. And we noticed things kept getting moved around.

And we searched the house, each holding a weapon and opening the door like drunken SWAT team guys. And find nothing or no one and then decide ghosts are real. And drunk and exhausted decide to go to bed and just say to the ghost, please don't hurt us. We're exhausted. And we went to bed and the next day we got up and found there was a tiny homeless girl that was just in the house the entire time.

No! Yeah. If you haven't heard the joke, that spoils the whole fucking thing. But I think it's perfect that people here that work in and enjoy horror you know and make horror because that is I get I get kids oh she was fine but she was just like sitting there like picking her arm and we're like you okay and she got up and left and then we lost our mind for about 25 years or something but it was it was like one of those things I get people like dude come on

dude dude like cornering me like that, like, that's for real? That's for real? I mean, the whole thing about the story was not so much scared of what this poor person was going to do. She only came in to be warm. And move things. Yeah, well, you know, have half a can of Guinness and make a bed on a couch.

But, yeah, no, that happened. That's scary. But the scariest thing to me was that, thank God or whatever is out there every day, is that we didn't find her. Because I had a frying pan. Oh, and I was hammered. I'd smoked all the weed in Portland, Oregon. We had a pan.

I had a frying pan. And my friend had a bat. And my friend saw me tell the story. He's my childhood friend. I don't see that often. And he was like, no, no, no, after the show. He's like, I had a machete, man. Whoa! Oh my God, that's right.

Those don't even work on ghosts. No, they don't. So that's my prize. Yeah. Get this album. Pass it over. Slide it down like an old-timey bar in a western.

I'm sorry you guys were telling the villains in that story. Yeah, but I did it on purpose. They didn't even know they were the villains. There's nothing worse than drunk white guys. That's true. That's the worst villain there is. Amy,

what do you got for us? Alright I have a bunch I'm excited about this Okay so I have a bunch Of Pet Sematary swag Yeah A t-shirt I call dibs on the shirt

Hey Hey uh Yeah Awesome What's your dead cat in there? That one There's a dead cat in there And uh Pet Sematary pin Ooh Ooh There's a dead cat in there. And a pet cemetery pin.

I like all this. I'm jazzed about this. I am in this picture, guys. That's neat. Thanks, Doug. And a flashlight. In case there's a homeless ghost in your house. In case there's a homeless ghost in your house. In case there's a homeless little girl in your house.

Well, the homeless kids, they will rearrange stuff because they like Feng Shui. I was really confused by that when it came. So it's a pet cemetery flashlight? Yeah, it's got pets. It says. But like a horror movie flashlight. So does it stop working right when you need it?

I was testing it. And it's small because it when you need it? I've been testing it. And it's small because it's a pet cemetery for the small graves. All the small pets and babies. It just came... He buries his kid. I mean, come on. You all know the story. Not even a baby.

It's a young boy. And then also, this is a very personal gift. My assistant is here she painted this i have painting parties and she painted this really fucked up thing uh which is jesus getting poked by somebody and uh it says supreme alex that's for you for the listener at, it looks like one of those sign spinner people on the sidewalk is spinning a Supreme sign while fucking with Jesus. Also, it's signed by Alex,

so, you know, she's my writing assistant, and I hire fucked up people to write for me. We should say that he's poking Jesus with a stick. Just the expression poking Jesus was a little... Well, I mean, is that like the biblical story of the centurion that stabbed him so he would die faster? You know what I'm talking about. He went to Catholic school.

Jesus also looks like a dog in this. Yeah, Jesus is a dog. It is a dog. It is a dog. It's a happy cartoon dog. Okay, now it's a fun picture. Well, you know, Jesus backward a dog. It's a happy cartoon dog. Okay, now it's a fun piece. Well, you know, Jesus backward is dog. So I'm not good at religious stuff.

That's all for today. Yeah, you are, Doug. What do you got, Eli? I brought a, for all the children out there, the House with a Clock in its Walls Blu-ray DVD combo, and I wrote on it, you are a winner. That's very sweet. The movie you'll probably really want to watch,

which is Lucio Fulci's Zombie 4K Restoration, which is an awesome new transfer. It's a beautiful transfer. You can see all the gore and the grue in Tisa Farrow's face. It's pretty, especially when the splinter goes through the eye, the detail's magnificent. All right, well, I'll hang on to that one.

Yeah, I thought you might. Because I don't like to distribute nightmares. But everyone's stories remind me, I did have something else to promote. Although I don't know if this counts as something to promote, but I got my first death threat today from a fan. What? Yeah, I can read it.

It was some girl was kind of stalking me on Instagram, reading really insane messages. And so I blocked her and I don't know how, but somehow these messages started appearing in WhatsApp. It was me.

On her cell phone. It was you. It was you. Aw, Amy. And she wrote, and then so I blocked, I had to look at her messages to block her. And so which I was like,

is there a way to block her without her letting, like see that I've read it? And like, nope, you got to go to the thing. So then she goes to my regular phone. I woke up this morning and it was like, pages, blah, blah, blah. What if, wouldn't it be funny if I just got on a plane to LA

and went and visited a horror movie director because I should be your wife and I'm so in love with you that I kill you. Wouldn't that be a great story? And I was like, hi. And I googled FBI phone number. I don't know if this counts as promoting it, but I feel like

I feel sort of safer talking about it now because then if she does come back, then the police will be like, remember you talked about that on Doug Loves Movies and everyone will listen to Doug Loves Movies episode that I was on when I was alive. Oh I mean that'll be great for me and my show. I'd appreciate

if this lady had some follow through because this will be really fun creepy listening after the fact. After you get that letter full of daggers. It was literally the first misery letter that I got.

It's Annie Wilkes. But from Dubai, thankfully. On that note, let's have a fun show. Because it might be my last. Eli, don't say that! Fly from Dubai is what? 16 hours? You got some time. We'll be okay. I mean, she'll let you know when she's on her way right oh no you blocked her

yeah oh shit yeah you gotta keep your enemies close dude i didn't realize the enemies on dm maybe i should unblock right her Yeah I don't know That could be The blocking could have been the final straw for her Tell her if she's really ever on her way To just mail a letter to UCB To let you know she's coming

She might do it What was the last movie you saw Dan? I'm going to ask everybody that question But Dan knew it was coming so I hit him with it first skyscraper really yep we are we on a plane or a hostage no I did they wake you watch it over and over again I I had an hour and a half to kill and HBO Go was working. Go, go, go. I saw it. It's kind of predictable. Kind of?

No, I knew everything that was going to happen before it happened. But it's exactly what you think it's going to be. And usually that's all you want from a movie. At least you want that to be. Be what I think you're going to be. Yes, meet an expectation. Yeah, and it met that expectation

of be exactly what I think you're going to be. There's a skyscraper. Yeah, it scrapes the skies. And the rock has to defend it. I still think Rampage should have been called... I thought he fought the skyscraper. No, he kind of, yeah. He's kind of against it. I still think Rampage should have been called... I thought he fought the Skyscraper. No.

Well, he kind of, yeah. He's kind of against it, I guess. What do you want, Rampage? Rampage should have been called Monkey. Why? Because Skyscraper wasn't called I'm mad or I want to fight. You know what I mean? It wasn't other words.

That's fair. Okay. Yeah, it was serviceable. All right. Well, everybody just don't race out to see it. If it's in your eyes, go ahead and look. What do you got for us, Matt? What was the last movie you saw?

I saw Us over the weekend. Yeah. Amazing. That movie, there's a lot going on there. Yeah. You know, it's not just, you know,

jump scare movie. It's like, it's full of Easter eggs, which is interesting because whenever a character steps on one, it cracks and then everybody looks at them

and they know they're there. Yeah, exactly. That's, you know, they have it like, like there's no Easter eggs in Quiet Place because, you know, you step on an Easter egg

and, you know, the monster's going to get you. I hated they cut the Easter egg hunt scene from Quiet Place from when the aliens first got there. And they realized they reacted to sound. And then one kid was like, and then wiped them all out. But director showed it to me.

I thought I was transcendent. But no, Us was awesome. It was incredibly ambitious, I thought I was transcendent. But no, Us was awesome. It was incredibly ambitious, I thought, because it really left all these trails that I keep thinking about. And I thought it was an awesome horror movie and the performances were fantastic. And it's one of those things where I used to go

to the Oregon coast as a kid with my parents. And all the houses back then were all shambly and shitty. And you'd stay in one. A bunch of families would get together and rent the houses. And we'd go outside and look in the window and fuck with each other. Everyone's playing Uno or something. One kid would run outside and just put his face in the window and you'd lose your mind. And so I always had that built.

Something about a house near the water at night kind of freaks me out anyway it's just the fact they're in that house then there's a family in the driveway i was like fuck so it kind of it was one of those uh uh movies that kind of uh touched i love scary movies that kind of pull something from when you were scared of something when you were a kid yeah i was scared of hands across america when i were a kid. I was scared of Hands Across America when I was a kid. Fucking A. I was like, hey, really gonna do this shit? I was like a little kid. I was thinking like,

trucks are gonna drive through it. I'm like, you gotta let go. No, I was so certain that Hands Across America, someone's gonna be like, I'm putting a toaster in the tub. Fucking everybody. Even scary. The whole fucking world.

Guys, does one fucking asshole want to put his hand in a fucking toaster and put it in a tub? Some fucking guy's going to do that. I was like,

I'm not going to be fooled by these fuckers, man. You're not going to get electrocuted from some asshole in Minnesota who thinks it's fucking funny to throw a toaster in a tub with his foot in it.

I think they let people wear mittens if they wanted to. The guy next to you, your hand buddy, onto your right, has like, you look down and there's a wire just wrapped around his penis that's out of his pants and it goes into a house and there's someone sitting there

putting it to a car battery right then. No one had that dream but me. I will now. I'm so glad I'm part of this. What was the last movie you saw, Amy? Well, can I say Elizabeth Holmes? The documentary? Oh, the inventor?

Oh, of course, yeah. What's that thing called? Because it inspired my wardrobe for tonight. You dress like her? Come on, man. Oh, I don't know. I keep hearing about her but i don't really i haven't locked in yet really i don't really know about it yet

oh my god she's weird oh my god we all need her in our lives i'm just saying we have elon musk we need elizabeth holmes too because like because you kind of need them crazy people cause like cause you kinda need them crazy people to like start some shit right but to start a company that's ripping people off whatever the hyperloop ain't proven yet

oh boy so you came out of this documentary you came out of it she's a hero to you? Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, listen. Do you understand how many investors she... Okay, so her and Anna Delvey, I am pulling out of prison

and making them a producer of my movies because them bitches can raise money like motherfuckers. Come on. And they don't care about making it back. No And they don't care about making it back. No, they don't care about making it back. He knows what I'm talking about. They're good to just lose billions of dollars.

They also won't care about making the movie. They don't care about making the thing. We're just going to go party. It's like Fire Island all over the place. Me and... Fire Island or Fire Island. The producers. Fire Island.

Whatever. I'm going to make a Fire Island. Fire Island was not a disaster. It was fun. Right, fellas to make a fire island. Whatever. I'm going to make a fire island. Fire island was not a disaster. It was fun. Right, fellas? Come on, guys. In the idea, in the dream of it. Yes.

So, yeah. So, I watched that. She's pretty good, though. Would you like to play her in a movie or a sketch or something? I would like... I would... Yeah. Well, I'd just like to play her in life. I a sketch or something? I would like, yeah, well, I'd just like to

play her in life. I mean, she kind of won. Like, I mean, aside from the prison shit, but like... It is one for the L column right there, the prison part. Like, she billions of dollars. That's all I have to say.

Yeah. I really miss the boat on. Yeah. I just really, I really miss the boat on this story. I really have, I should just watch the documentary and get all caught up.

You should get it caught up. I mean, yeah. I mean, I can talk about narrative stuff, but I was just really caught up by her. I heard that HBO Go works. What?

She's like the Bernie Madoff of the tech world. Like she made like billions. None of it worked. Yeah, yeah. Neat. What have you done? I've made billions of podcast episodes.

Eli, what was the last movie you saw? Chud, obviously. Because you saw Us and you were like, I gotta revisit Chud? Correct. Nice. Yeah, because Chud is on this shelf in the house in the beginning of the movie, right? And they are cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. And I was like, I need to go back to Chud to see like the parallels between the two movies right because there's it's like uh us is like chud but more about uh you know poverty it's like a socially conscious yes reboot of chud

yeah i mean i guess chud was sort of like that wasn't that sort of like the weren't the lead characters like kind of arguing that this is an ecological problem it is the military's been dumping you know, hazardous urban dumping is what CHUD really stands for. Not cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. That's when Daniel Stern and John Hurd

and Kim Grist learned what the government is up to and it is terrible. Let me tell you, these CHUDs are, you cannot stop a CHUD very easily.

You need like a machete to stop a CHUD and it's got to do its little neck extension but they'll fucking infect you and turn you you'll grow fangs

you don't want to mess with a chud alright it's the perfect time to revisit chud everybody check it out again and this is also

the perfect time for me to say let the games begin! People made name tags, Amy, and your job at this point is to select one that speaks to you, one that you like for whatever reason. Each one of you is going to pick one name tag from the audience. And while you guys do that, we'll do this.

We'll be right back. Hey, don't forget, I'm coming to Vegas this weekend. I know you guys are sick of hearing about it. But please, if you're in the Las Vegas area, if you're in the Valley of Nevada, come on down and see Doug Loves Movies this Saturday at the Rio Hotel, the Comedy Cellar, 420.

Three great guests, three of my favorite people to get high with are going to be guests on that show this Saturday in Las Vegas. Did I say Las Vegas? Las Vegas. Back to the show. All right, we're back. And it looks like Amy's really happy with her selection. What do you got, Dan?

Yours is big. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. This is the guy I was talking to at the beginning. Really clever wordplay on this one. His excuse is he couldn't find a Dawn of the Dead poster because that would have been, John of the Dead would have been much slicker. Oh, okay.

It is Spider John into the Spider-Verse. Okay. I really liked the movie and I liked all the accoutrements. No, save me one of them. Save me one of them. It's got extra stuff on it. Sour Patch Kids,

Doritos, and cannabis. Yeah, this looks good. I know. Gold Leaf Industries. That's a shell company created by Elizabeth Holmes. Who are you playing for, Matt? The good, the Matt, and the other.

Just a good coincidence. You're not the Matt he's speaking of.'s it's he's matt not at all yeah but it was it was one of the things he's like way over there and just kind of had this little thing and i was like i've been there amy what do you got i've got doug benson the dog dave afternoon sorry it's a little heavy. It's really good, guys. Yeah. I'm replaced Al Pacino

in Dog Dave Afternoon. Yeah, yeah. I'm really excited to rob a bank to get Yeah, yeah. I'm like, hey! It's from this shit! I gotta say,

it's one of my favorite movies. Erica! Erica! Do it. Keep going. Do you want to keep going? No, but that's what he said in the movie. I feel like you want to keep going. You're kidding. You're playing that in the movie. I feel like you want to keep going.

You're kidding. You're saying that character. You're like, we're going to get that sex change back. Let's get it! Chopper's incoming. Who cares? That's so good. I'm so excited to rob a bank. So, in August 1972, he robbed a bank in New York. 250 movies,

8 bowls, and 2,000 unlookers. We'll never forget what took place. Doug Benson. Dog Dave afternoon. Good job, Dave. Way to go, Dave. And do you like Tito's and Reese's?

I'm going to drink the Tito's now. Really? Can I? I'd love that. I know I can. I don't have to ask your permission. You don't have to. You just have to ask the state of California if it's okay to drink. I think you can. I know people in the audience here bring in cans of beer in bags.

But drinking can cause ghosts, as we know. It really can. Drinking is one of the leaders. Be careful. Thank you, man. Be careful. It's a real problem. It's one of the side effects of drinking,

ghosts and machetes. What do you have, Eli? I'm playing for Hard Candice. And I like this one because I think hard candy is a good reference. And I sort of love your pedophile face. You're like, wait, she has a bear trap? What?

I wasn't expecting a bear trap. Yeah. This wasn't what I signed up for. That's a complication I won't enjoy. That's going to be awful. Yeah. A bear trap. Come on.

And then the stars of the movie are Doug Benson and then my wife. Yeah. Great actor. And Sandra Oh. So quite a cast. Two bowls up. I'm excited.

All right. Well, there you go. That's who you guys are all playing for. Now we're going to play some games to determine which one of you is the winner. And then all the prizes go to that person. Does that make sense, Amy? Oh, my God. You're eating all the eggs immediately.

That's a meter. Just feed me. Go at them, yeah. Reese's eggs are no joke, man. They're so good. They're so good. It's Easter time, man. Yeah, and the other day I had a big Reese's Easter bunny,

but it was just chocolate. There's no peanut butter in it. Thank you. Thank you, Eli. All right, this first game we're going to play is called Characters Welcome. And basically how this works is I'm going to list the characters in the end titles

in the credits of a motion picture, just random weird character names that pop up, and you all guess what movie it is, and the first person who gets it right wins the game. Make sense? Yep. That guy in the Jimmy Buffett shirt over there

seems like he needs a piece in love bracelet. Oh, really shy on that, but you can reach down and pick it up. Thank you. Oh, in his hand. Got it. Nice.

We did it. All right. You can guess as often as you like. Don't forget. Any pre-guesses? Cocoon. Sandra Bullock. Hitch.

Judd is a good pre-guess. All right. None of those are right. This movie has a character named Lady Reporter. Die Hard 2. Oh, I was going to go, just die hard. There's a character named Roger Breakstone. Network. Superman.

Halloween. There's someone called Professor. Animal House. Real genius. There is a, someone named Banner Man. Shame. I don't think he puts up banners.

I think that's his last name. Banner Man. Darksman. Sure it's not the Hulk. Banner Man. I'm sure. That's a great fucking joke. Yeah.

That was a very good joke. I'm glad one per show I think Sam Elliott Says the line too Bannerman Bannerman He's a problem We gotta do something about Bannerman Fucking Bannerman

Bannerman Bannerman Bannerman Banner man. Banner man. Bannerman. That's what's for dinner. I'm damn right I sold our dad's property. I'm damn right I didn't. You don't even wear your earplugs. The body washed away in the river.

That's why I'm on a bus. That reindeer can fly. Let me lift up my mustache so you can hear what I'm saying. Hey, how's it going? I feel like I have PTSD right now. Quiet, we're going to kill Powers Booth. Come on. There's a character named...

Oh, incorrect. There's a character named... Joe Camber. There's a Steve Kemp. Kindergarten cop. Ted Trenton. Airborne. Avengers of the Nerds 3.

Vic Trenton. Oh, back of the Nerds 3 Vic Trenton Oh, Backdraft The way you said it, I was like, he knows it I can sell it well, but I don't know shit Backdraft 2, did you chuck that door again? Volcano Don't just open it Dante's Peak

Beverly Hills Cops Deep Impact Donna Trenton The Trenton. The Trenton Family Secret. Escape from Trent Mountain. Whole lot of Trentons going on. If the hills have eyes.

The Trentons do have a problem in this movie. I'll tell you, it's a serious problem these Trentons have. Alien versus Treditor. The problem... Trenton goes down. Come on. The problem is with the title character, so I'm about to say the title. Chud 2, The Trentons. So whoever repeats it back the quickest wins.

Because it's Cujo. Cujo. I was close with Chud. Amazing. And that is how you... Get it done! That's right. I gotta say, I was close with Chud in Cujo. Yeah, no, you did That's right. I got to say, I was close with Chud and Cujo.

Yeah, no, you did a great job. Wait, Ron Cujo or Steve Cujo? Cujo the doggy. The poor misunderstood to Cujo. Oh, that was a good catch. He just had rabies. What's that? He just had rabies.

Yeah, but, you know, he was normally a nice dog, and then he started trying to eat people. But maybe do you sympathize? With rabies. Do you sympathize? Because you were also in a Stephen King-possessed evil pet movie, too. Yeah, I mean. That's why I picked that,

because I'm a tribute to Pet Sematary and your work in it. I also love crazy people. So my threshold for loving the dark side is a little deep. So yeah. I welcome rabid dogs into my house. That's a slippery slope. That's why I'm sitting on the stage with you guys right now.

Fair enough. Alright, well Dan won that one so this next game Dan gets to go first, and then we'll go to Matt and Amy and Eli, and it's a little game called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?, where I say a tagline from a motion picture. I'll go to you each individually,

and if one person doesn't get it, the next person gets a chance. And just guess what movie had that tagline, and it's advertising or, its advertising or on the poster. The great Larry Cohen had that awesome tagline for the It's Alive. There's only one thing wrong with the Davis baby. It's alive. It's alive.

I love that. He's the best, Larry. R.I.P. All right, Dan. Yes. Here's the first one. And also a theme will emerge. Almost always.

This first tagline is, Companion, Protector, Killer. What do you think it is, Dan? Cujo? No, Matt. Companion, Protector, Killer. Cujo? No. Matt? Companion, Protector,

Killer. Yentl. No. Amy? Companion, Protector, Killer. Mommy Dearest?

It's the worst campaign for a condom I've ever heard. Oh. But we're talking about it. Yeah. What was your guess, Amy? It was Mommy Dearest. Oh, that is a great guess.

She really was all those things and more. Eli, do you want to take a shot at it? Turner and Hooch. Oh. Nice. I mean, he doesn't... I mean, he gets killed. Spoiler alert.

Or he sees a murder and solves it. Like the Dream Team. Yeah. They solve the murder with his drool. Man's Best Friend is the name of that motion picture. Companion, Protector, Killer from 1993. Did you ever see that one, Eli? I never saw it.

I remember it, though. It's a crazy dog movie, yeah. Is it like a robot dog? Seriously asking. I think it might be. No, you're thinking of chomps. You're thinking of chopping mall or robot jocks. Okay.

You're thinking about a lot of things. All the time. All wrong. No, I'm not. All right. Dan gets to go first on this next one sweet what movies tagline was bad to the bone mmm air bud everybody's a good dog for the listener oh matt just whispered to me i had the same dumb thought and that's and that's why we're friends

same dumb wavelength this is where we live what do you think matt some dog movie. Dog Cop. Amy? I'm at a loss for the title, but what's that Snoop Dogg one where he comes back as a ghost? Did anyone see that? Bones. Bones. That's right.

Bones. You want to go with Bones? Yeah. No. The tagline would be bad to the bones. Yeah. Eli? Didn't he say he was on a supernatural high?

Like in that movie? Oh yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah. He like glowed or something? Was it K-9 with Jim Belushi? That's what I was going to guess. Oh, that is a good one. No, it was from 1996, 101 Dalmatians. That's real loose.

Yeah. All right, Dan, you're up again. Okay. Live large. That's the tagline okay live large uh clifford the big red dog that hit somebody in the head uh no damn it is that even a movie i don't know but i know clifford is but it's entirely different book in a tv show okay i didn't know if but I know Clifford is, but it's entirely different. I think it's a book and a TV show. Okay, I didn't know if they ever did a movie. I don't think they did. Oh, now I know what it is. I can tell you, man, but I won't.

Oh, give him your other dumb answer. Oh, I know what it is. I really know what it is. Okay. Man, I know what it is. Get on my dumb wavelength. No, I gotta earn my failure. I know, I'm saying if I don't tell you. He's saying just read his mind.

Disorderlies. No! No, that's what I was gonna say! No, Eli, you know what it is, don't you? Yep. Eli, we're on the same dumb wavelength. It's Amy's turn now. That was what I was thinking.

What do you think? You do think it's disorderlies? That's what I thought. That's what I was thinking. I was trying to think of the title, but I was thinking it was disorderly con. Starring the fat boys? Yes, exactly. was thinking it was Disordering the Fat Boys. Yes, exactly.

And Ralph Bellamy in his final performance. Going from His Girl Friday, working with Howard Hawks, you end your career on the Fat Boys. And scene. What's your guess, Eli? Beethoven. What do you think Dan Beethoven

that was the one you decided it was yes you know who else is large and a dog Marmaduke yeah this is great I love how this is going dog movies in their advertising campaign

they're terrible it's weird no it's just hard dog movies from the 90s we saw here we go, Dan. Okay, let's do it again. Be afraid.

Be kind of afraid. Be kind of afraid. Be afraid. Be kind of afraid. Scooby-Doo. That's right. Boo! And that is how you...

Get it done. There's some guy that has a following here. I've been around a while Which guy is it? It's Eli actually You guys tell me Everyone knows what you're doing Alright Matt

You gotta try to get on the board here Dan's got a point Alright Matt you get to go first on this one No whammies The tagline is But not all dogs stay there. All dogs go to heaven.

That's right. Oh, thank you for that underhanded volleyball you tossed my back. Poof. Holy shit. Thank God for T-ball stance. All right, Amy, here's a new one.

Be easy on me. Who let the dog out? Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot? Yeah. Yeah, who let the dog out? I don't know. They're from the Bahamas that sing that song. That's all I know.

Benji? I don I know. Benji? I don't know. Benji got let out and ran away. Eli? Milo and Otis. Yeah, who let the dog out? This is not easy. Dogma?

That would be a pretty great tagline for that movie. But also predate the Bahamian song. Dog Day Afternoon. Dog Day Afternoon, obviously. Who's Dog Day Afternoon? Dog Days? No, that was the tagline for Cujo. Shut up.

It's true. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. All right, Matt's turn. What movie had the tagline, Who Let the Dog In? Shut the fuck up.

Are you serious? God damn it. I apologize. I apologize. I apologize. It's who let the dogs in, but that was just too funny to say the same thing again. Who let the dogs in? Hold on. Who let the dogs in?

Oh, wasn't there 102 Dalmatians? I'll do 102 Dalmatians. Shit. Why not? Amy? Who let the dogs in? I haven't. Real?

I think it's like a real question. Oh, God. God, that's terrible. I don't know. Ten things I hate about you. Sorry, I can't think of anything. Eli? Hotel for dogs?

That's right! Once you said it correct, I, you know... Which brings me to, I want to pitch to you, Eli. When are you going to get around to doing Hostel for Dogs? Can I tell you, every time there's the change,

the kids movie, there's been a lot. I've been pitched Hostel for Dogs? Can I tell you, every time there's the Change the Kids movie, there's been a lot. I've been pitched Hostel for Dogs. Oh my God. But I still want to make Bear Witness first. Oh. Which is like my Turner and Hooch about a bear who witnesses a mob hit.

I'm in. Take my money. And Tim Allen's just got to keep him there. And it's like, just don't make a mess. And the housekeeper's like, what? And then Bear Witness 2, Kangaroo Court. It's like, water in the court. The kangaroo punches.

I have a whole world of these. I love it. Yeah. NASCAR dog. Who's driving the car? Farmageddon. I have like 50 movies of bad, bad movies. A nun that becomes like,

gets super genius called Nun the Wiser. I have like endless posters in my head for like horrible VHS cassettes I wish I owned. I just want to, I just want to, yeah.

Smart Cookies, Tim Allen has to get a Girl Scout trophy. Why is it always Tim Allen? He's got to prove to his boss that he's responsible. And he teaches the kids how to argue down credit card charges. You should start a whole pun reduction company. He teaches them how to smoke.

Just, you know. Anyways. All right. We have a three-way tie between Eli and Dan and Matt. I'm sorry, Amy. It's fine. We still have one other game, so you're not out completely, but this next one,

since there's a three-way tie between you guys, I'm going to say the next one and the first person who says the answer will win this whole game. You should know it right away. Okay. The electrifying dog is back from the grave.

For Frankenweenie. That's it. Wow. Guys, that is how you... Oh, I love you all. For Frankenweenie? Yep. For Frankenweenie.

All right. Dan gets to go first in our final game tonight. But this is the one for all the prizes. Yeah. Do you want to take another bite of Reese's or take another shot off your Tito's? You didn't even drink your Tito's? I didn't even drink it. I was going to give it to somebody else.

Really? Yeah, I'm kind of. Chuck it into the crowd. Toss it maybe. It's going to hit somebody in the head and then I'll feel really bad. Is it really glass? Yeah, it's pretty glassy.

Then we'd have to bury them in the pet cemetery and bring them back. Let's play Last Man Stanton. This game is a game where we take turns naming movies that someone's been in and i'll get a name of an actor or actress from someone in the audience a pre-selected audience member and then if you can't think of one you're out but each of you has a lifeline i like to play along in this game but each of you has a lifeline i like to play along in this game but each of you has a lifeline you can go to your name tag person one time for help say please help me oh yeah i recommend you do it early and and not often where is aloha la candy one La Candy One. Up here. Hey. Hey. How's it going? Good.

What's your actual name? Candy. Candy. Oh, okay. And you live in L.A. or something? Yeah, Pasadena. Pasadena? So what's, and you just like the word aloha?

I grew up in Hawaii. There you go. Yeah. Okay. Grew up in Hawaii, moved to L.A., her name's Candy, and she's one person. That's all in her handle. She got a lot of information in that She doesn't even need a bio I just signed up to

Be able to find out who's coming to the show You just signed up to get When I hinted who's going to be here Did it work? Did your name tag get picked? Yeah It did? It's up here? Holy shit. Okay.

Well, you know, it's still... We're all going to play with whatever name you say. I don't think you can necessarily pick a name that would be easier for Eli. What's that? It's Odd One? It's someone who hasn't made a movie in a while. It's someone who hasn't made a movie in a while?

Is it a book writer? He has a lot of movies under his belt. A lot of belt movies. Yeah. A lot of Rocky films. Okay, well give it to us. We'll see what happens christian slater okay i mean yeah you got to go in order but also christian slater come on i mean he's you know i like christian slater as much as the next person but The game's going to be over pretty fast

if we just do Christian Slater. But we also don't have a ton of time. Let me see really quickly here. No one else in the audience reached out to me ahead of time. Let me see if we can do a real-time thing right now where I'm just going to say, quick,

name an actor on Twitter. Get your phone out. Yeah. You jerk. Quick, name an actor, which is just a good tweet in general, because people like to participate, and I bet you people will be able to do so. All right.

I wrote, name an actor, question mark. That's not what I want. I want to just have an actor. Someone's going to write, yeah, Doug, you should. Yeah. All right.

Here we go. It's tweeted. This is so exciting. The first response we get we will use in this game in addition to Christian Slater. We'll play both names.

There's so many people on their phones right now. I mean, we'll know if it's one of those guys, because we heard them already say what they wanted us to do, you know. So, I'm just going to refresh until somebody

actually does it. Oh, we already got two. Probably from the first and second row. Holy shit! I've already got like six names. One of them is Doug Benson. That's stupid. But I'm just going to go with the very first one I got. Christian Slater?

I mean, that would be the best thing that ever happened. It's very, very hard to do. Actually, I can't go with the first one because it's just like, it's ridiculous. We'll be here all night,

but I'm going to go with the second one, which is, WF Dave suggested Benicio Del Toro. Yeah, the first one was Tom Hanks and that's just,

that's silly. Plus, nobody could beat me on Tom Hanks, except for, except for maybe Dave or, or, I mean, Dan I doubt it

My friend Dave Dan Benicio Okay, so it's those people You can go to Lifeline once Let's rip through this Dan Sicario Okay

I'll go Usual Suspects. Eli. Sicario 2, Dia del Soldado. Oh my god, you're such a show-off. You know how to say Dia del Soldado. Yeah, either one of those actors. Christian Slater or Benicio. What do you got, Amy?

Pump up the volume. Let's do it. Wolfman. What? Benicio. Was it Wolfman? Oh, yeah. He had his own Wolfman. It was called Benicio's Wolfman.

Yeah. Benicio is Wolfman. Yeah. Benicio is Wolfman. Dan. True Romance. Oh, nice. I like it. All right. I'm going to go with Heather's.

Nice. Eli. Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Ooh, that's very good. Very good. That's very good. That's very good. Fuck, he made it. Sometimes I dabble in voices, and that's very good.

Yeah, that one really... You sure should be behind the camera, Eli. I don't know, Amy. You could change all that. Amy? Usual Suspects. I said that one second. God damn suspects. I said that one. Second. God damn you.

Yeah. Motorcycle diaries. Oh, okay. No one else would have said that. Matt. Cuffs. Spell it.

K-U-F-F-S. George Cuffs. Cuffs. There you have it. She's Spell it. K-U-F-F-S. George Cuffs. Cuffs. There you have it. She's preggers. There's a turkey. Quoting Cuffs. Yeah.

Wait, we'll get an impression every time you actually know a line from the movie. Heck yeah. Bought a turkey, now it's in the street. Yeah, she's preggers. Mila Jovovich. Yeah. Doing a little dance. Before she had to kill all those zombies.

Amy. Oh, fuck, man. Wait, no, it's me. Oh, wait, who is it? Where? It's me. Oh, he was just doing impressions. I thought he was...

Dad. Interview with a vampire. Very good. Is it me again now? interview with a vampire very good is it me again now? is that the way we're going? okay the wife he's a reporter in that one too

I'll leave you alone on this plane or whatever he says to her He's a reporter in that one too. I'll leave you alone on this plane or whatever he says to her. Sorry to bother you on the plane. You know, murder in the first. The first. The first. Oh, what was that one that he did? Anyway, Amy.

Is it okay to say Mr. Robot? Can I just do it? You could say it, but it doesn't qualify as an answer because it's a TV program. You guys are bullshit. But you can go to your life line. We are in the age of cinema in television. We really are.

The lines are getting blurred all the time. Yeah, whatever. But you should put it down. Okay, I'm going to write it down. I'm not going to count it, but I'm going to write it down. But do you want to go to your lifeline? It was my path. Do you want to ask Dave?

Yeah, buddy. What do you got, Dave? Snatch. That's good. Listen, Dave. Respect this wonderful entertainer. Dave. Snatch. That's good. Listen, Dave. Respect this wonderful entertainer.

Yeah, man. She's the only woman up here, dude. You can't just sit out there fucking yelling out snatch at nice ladies. A little rough, dude.

Do you want to play the game or not? Do you want to go with that one, Amy? I'll go with my snatch, yeah. Snatch it up. Snatch you, peach you. Matt? Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Good one. Oh, mother. Dan? Guardians of the Galaxy. You mother grabber. Really? Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. Mm-hmm.

Oh, this really opens up a can of worms, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. It does, big time. Yeah. Eli? I'll close it with Untamed Heart. That might be my favorite Christian Slater movie. He has a baboon heart. Yeah, only Marissa Tomei can nurse him to health. It's true.

Tomei Bills. The movie was originally called Baboon Heart. From the director of My Bodyguard. Oh. Untamed heart. Oh.

Okay. Did anything that happened after your last answer Amy help you to think of another one I met a loss right now okay thank you for being here and for being yeah I'm just gonna be pass it's like all good women should be That was a joke, doc. Oh, okay. Matt.

Was that an Elizabeth Holmes quote? That's what, yeah. Like all women should be. It's about her voice, Timber. She cuts down trees. I'm going to ask for my lifeline from Matt over here. Oh, here we go. Matt on Matt action. Gleaming the cubes.

Gleaming the motherfucking cube. That's my man right there. That was a good one. Oh, skate classic. Yeah. Dan? Avengers Infinity War. Yeah.

Avengers Infinity War. Oh, what was that one where he was in the bonus scene at the end of something? Captain America Winter Soldier. I don't know. No, I don't know. But you're right. It was fun, though.

Now you're just making up shit. There's one that he's in the final scene, but I'm going to go to Eli. Oh, my God. Broken Arrow. Oh! Nice.

I was sitting on that. Still with the Slaters. Matt? Swimming with sharks. Oh, that's right. Benicio Del Toro. That's early Benicio. He was the assistant.

He was the assistant before the dude was working for Spacey's character. I mean, we're not allowed to talk about Kevin Spacey anymore, but thank you. You'll never see that again for me on this show. You'd think Eli would've got the shark movie. It's true. It's sad. Dan? The Way of the Gun. Oh, another nice pull for Benicio.

Eli's really thinking about it. It's your turn I'm out I'm out Oh yeah I'm gonna use my lifeline I fucked up that

Winter Soldier thing Legend of Billie Jean The Legend of Billie Jean All the Slaters Were in that one Ellen Slater Christian Slater Oh my god

Wow I'm so ashamed right now I think she wins That was full Slater That was full Slater, Christian Slater Oh my god, I'm so ashamed right now I think she wins That was full Slater Yeah, okay, so we're going The Legend of Billie Jean Great song Pat Benatar

Matt Oh man, I don't think I have anything Don't beat yourself up like that You've got a wonderful life I'm out I'm not going to waste anyone's time Thanks it's been good Dan do you want to Use my lifeline

Spider John what do you got Spider John 3000 miles to Graceland he says That's got Slater in it. Is he dressed like Elvis, too? Stupid. Thanks, bud. You were bad at your name tag, but you picked a movie I love.

Remember when I said Motorcycle Diaries? He's not in that movie. I know, but... He's in Che, but same guy. Okay. Whoa. Amy, would you like a job with the corrections department? Because that...

That's my self-critic. Why did it take you that long? Correcting myself. Oh, wait, you're the one that said the wrong one? I'm the one that said it. Oh, okay. I'm sorry I said over the top. Neither one of those guys are in there.

They should have been. Together. Well, this is interesting. Let's see what Eli does now. Well, that's got to be Che Part 2. If I can explain the two movies. Right, exactly. Che 1 and Che 2.

I'm going with Che 2. All right, Dan. 13 Days. Oh, that's right. That Missile Crisis movie, right? Mm-hmm. He was like, missiles. Missiles.

Quandry. Missiles. Heather's gleaming cube. Gene. Cuffs. Do you have another one, Dan? I think so, yeah. Dan's got another one.

I did. What was that Hueyoll movie he's in? It wasn't in House of the Dead or Far Cry or Postal. No, it was something about they were in caves for some reason. Oh, wait. What's her name? Yeah, the... From Sharknado was in it.

Fuck, I know I shouldn't worry about it. I have such Slater shame right now. I should really... No, you've done great. You guys all did really great with Christian Slater. I really wrote that off as that would be over quickly. But the Benicio Del Toro... Was he in The Counselor?

He should have been. I feel like everyone who looks like him was in it. I feel like we should cast The Counselor again. Benicio was in The Counselor. Was he like everyone who looks like him was in it. I feel like we should cast the counselor again. Benicio was in the counselor. Was he? I think so. Everyone was. Okay, well then that's mine.

All right, Dan. Uh, I believe the collector shows up in Thor. Nobody's on. We got a yup. He gets the Tazeract at the end of Thor, I believe. Am I correct? No? No, but he's... I don't think you guys are certain.

Yeah, he shows up in a few of them, so I'll take it. We'll talk to the corrections department on... Should I say... Tomorrow. Is he in Thor of the Dark World? Yeah. Yeah, that would be... Then it should I say tomorrow seeing Thor the Dark World yeah yeah that would be then it's gonna be Thor the Dark World

is mine yeah Dan Christian Slater is also in this was a movie that just got nominated I remember thinking because it takes place around the same era as 13 Days. It was an Oscar nominated film.

Not force majeure. This is so exciting. I can't believe this is happening. Does? Apologies to the next show here at UCB. Yeah. I will defer to my man. I thought you had this, Dan. I thought so too.

Also, you could have just said Che. Nobody really said it. Oh, that wasn't an official? Eli Roth is our winner! Hard Candice. Candy, come get your stuff. Come come get your stuff. Come get all your stuff.

Let's give her a name tag back, too. What other Slaters did we miss? What? King Cobra? What's that? A porno producer of gay porn? Okay. Does anybody know that recent movie that Slater was in?

Where's Candy at? Sin City. I was thinking right. He was in The Wife, yeah, but I said that. The Last Jedi. The Last Jedi? Benicio. Interesting. Here you go, Candy. There's all your stuff.

Congratulations. Yay! If you don't want that shirt, let me know. Yeah, Dan will take that shirt off your hands. Real quick, Dan, what do you got to plug? This Friday, you can see me headlining the Dallas Comedy Festival as well as doing a live pen pals with Rory Scovel. And then go to...

That's in Dallas? That is in Dallas at the Dallas Comedy Festival. Perfect place for it. The next night, this Saturday, the 29th, I will be taking my tour, the Together Tour, to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Go to DanielVanKirk.com for all of my dates. I have runs of tour dates coming in the Midwest and the East Coast in the next couple of months. And follow me at DanielVanKirk.

Love it. Thank you, Dan. Thank you, buddy. Matt Bronger. I mentioned finally live in Portland. All my dates are at Matt Bronger. I mentioned finally live in Portland. All my dates are at mattbronger.com. And listen to my podcast, Advice from a Dipshit with Matt Bronger, where I occasionally have guests, but it's usually just me.

And people leave messages anonymously. And my partner producer, Amanda, cherry picks the best calls so I hear them in real time and do not have any research to listen to people's requests for advice. And just dole it out based on my millions of mistakes throughout my life. So listen in. Thanks, guys. Nice. Amy's got two movies coming out in August. April 5th and 12th? Yes.

Yes, Pet Sematary and Fun Times with Emily. Fun Times. What's it called? So April 5th is Pet Sematary premieres and it will be wide release and then Wild Nights with Emily starring Molly Shannon, myself

and is in limited theaters but in New York, LA April 12th. Thank you, Amy Simons. Great first guest appearance. Come back anytime. Eli Roth. The History of Horror,

streaming on Shudder. Shudder is great. Get Shudder. The master class will be on Fiverr.com. You can watch it live or it'll be on the site. And if you want to send any death threats, please send them to my Instagram to real Eli Roth

because I don't want the other Eli Roth death threats to, like, I don't want the death threats to get confused, like the stalkers. Mine is at real Eli Roth. Okay. Because otherwise, you know, then you've got to make sure it has the blue check. Because there's just some guy named Eli Roth. He doesn't need death threats.

He doesn't need death threats. He's already stuck with your name. You're crazy. Exactly. Life's tough enough for the guy. He's already got people all the time going, no, you're not. You're delivering my mail.

Come on, it's my name. It's my name. It was a coincidence. All right. Thank you, Eli. And I'll be doing stand-up April 19th at the Royal Oak Music Theater in Royal Oak, Michigan. It's my Countdown to 420 show.

And yeah. One more time for all my guests, Dan Van Kirk, Matt Braugher, Amy Simons, and Eli Roth. And as always, positive energy! Yeah! Now it's time we're done

to watch another talkie. He's a cultist doing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.