Doug Loves Movies - Anthony Jeselnik, Scott Aukerman, Chet Williams, and Samm Levine Guest

Episode Date: June 25, 2013

Doug welcomes Anthony Jeselnik, Scott Aukerman, Samm Levine, and charity auction winner Chet Williams to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth. They're still not warm, then he won't sleep, but Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! Oh, that has got to be aggravating to listen to. My name is Doug. I love movies. This is Doug. I love movies. We're getting there. It was like that first time I said,

you guys should bring name tags, and then the next week I brought it up again, and Adam Scott was like, what are you talking about? Like, why would they do that? And then everybody brought name tags. I felt so powerful. We're at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday, June 25th to Ocean's 13.

Let me see some name tags Los Angeles. Oh. Oh. Alright, you seem like this week's Aiden. So we'll see how that works out. What does your sign say? Super Troopers?

And you change it to Sue Per Troopers because your name is Per. Her name is Sue. What's that little horse that you had on a stick? And then what's your name? Vince. What? My name is Vince and Sus Vince what Vince and Susanna

and you wrote it on a horse head on a stick is that supposed to be like a godfather reference it is alright that qualifies thank you guys for bringing name tags

and good luck to everybody being chosen later. Since last I spoke and you listened, the Benson Interruption Podcast number 22 plopped in the comedy album section of iTunes with co-interrupter Kumail Nanjiani and interruptees Matt, Amira, Jonah Ray, Rob Hubel, Todd Glass, and Burt Kreischer. Holy crap, what a lineup.

It's only two bucks. And if you don't want to buy it, I'm totally cool with your decision. And I love you guys just coming in and grabbing some spots on the floor because I don't know why you're late, but I appreciate

you being here. From the corrections department, it's been a long time since I've seen the french connection which i have assumed for years for years i thought that movie took place in chicago because the chase scene looks just like the one in the blues brothers with uh upper and lower wacker drive and all that but uh that iconic chase scene is actually in bro. Burt Kreischer got the answer right anyway in the Philadelphia episode, but there you go.

There's the correction from the category chase scenes in Chicago. I picked a movie with a chase scene in New York. Thank you to all the people. There's still more people coming in This is crazy I've never experienced this This is like World War Z

The audience just keeps piling on top of each other To get over a wall Thank you to the people of Philadelphia And Hershey, Pennsylvania For a great weekend This Thursday night I'm in New Orleans at the Howlin' Wolf. Friday, Oklahoma City at the Arts Center

or whatever it's now called. I think the word contemporary is in it. And we just added a stand-up show at Acme Comedy Company in Minneapolis at 10.30 on Thursday, July 11th. This has never happened before. So many people just sneaking in

during this part. Thursday, July 11th, 10.30, Acme, Minneapolis. That's what I was saying. DouglasMovies.com for tour dates and deets and links and Douglas Movies t-shirts and an offer from Hulu Plus.

And I'm excited to announce that the Super Tournament of Championships is finally going to happen. Yes. Sunday, July 14th at Largo in Los Angeles at 9 p.m. Tickets are $25,

but you can get two for one if you, at checkout, you click Add Coupon and enter the code movies. So that'll be, what, $12.50 a piece? Maybe $13 something? No, it'll be $12.50 a piece. And the prize bag has got a CD that I made called Smug Life

and a book that I'm in called That's How We Roll and it's a photographic journey through people rolling joints or in my case pretending to roll a joint because I am shitty at it and we got a couple other things

this is interesting, I'm going to have to ask the guest about this it's a VHS of Ninja 3 The Domination. So that's the kind of title that just makes me say sold. And also, for screening purposes only, DVDs of Scream and Psycho. That's a great double bill right there. I would watch those.

Doug digs both of those. Please help me in welcoming the Podcast-a-thon charity auction winner, Chet Williams, along with Scott Aukerman, Anthony Jeselnik, and returning Leonard Maltin game winner, Sam the Man Levine,

a.k.a. Lil' Wolvie. Lil' Wolvie. Lil' Wolvie is back. Doug, I think we're missing a chair. There's not enough chairs? I said me plus four to the theater before, but they got four mics. Does my mic work? Yeah. Do you want to just stand weirdly behind me like that the whole

What are my options? Through the whole proceedings They'll bring you a chair Jordan's friend just threw his chair up on stage And he's going to sit in a weird hole And see how the chair just sits there That didn't work out I got it

That didn't go as planned. Thank you. Anthony's got a seat and a foster. Could you guys scoot down there a little bit? Come on, Chet. What the fuck's wrong with you? You're the worst winner we've ever had of a charity auction. SmileTrain got the money.

How much did they get, Chet? A little over $2,000, I think. Oh, man. That's Doug's matching contribution. And you're from Oklahoma City, where I'm going to be Friday? That's right. Doug Benson Day in Oklahoma. Yeah.

I decreed that. It's not real. I think the governor did that. The first year that I was there, yes, four years ago was Doug Benson Day, and that was official. Hi, Scott. Use that was official. Hi. Hi, Scott. Use your microphone voice. Hello.

And yeah, that was official. I don't know why you glared at me so weirdly on that was official, and then you raised your eyebrows at me salaciously. Just something about your glasses, your shirt, your hair, just all of it. First of all, it's good to see you. Nice to see you. I haven't seen you in a million years. Yeah, and secondly, I just thought that you would have something to say about Doug Benson Day in Oklahoma City.

No, I don't give a shit. That's what I mean. Something to that effect. Doug Benson Day in Oklahoma City, that's gotta be the worst thing to happen to Oklahoma City since... Since... Oh, never mind.

Since you said that, I should say, Comedy Bang Bang returns on IFC. Scott Aukerman is here to promote that return. And to hang out. Thank you. July 12. July 12. Friday night.

Perfect. I'll be at... Some people in Minneapolis will have to DVR it because I'll be doing... And Sam the Man Levine is here, everybody. Thank you. Thank you.

Wait a second. Side note. Wait, I'm sorry, Sam, to interrupt. That's okay. I'm going to be, Sam, to interrupt. That's okay. I'm going to be doing that a lot tonight. That's all right, man. Did you skip? Was my intro talking about me not having a chair?

No, no. I'm coming around to you. I'm building to you. Yeah, yeah. I just bounce around. It's based on whoever speaks into the microphone. I then introduce them because since they're inserting themselves in the show, I should introduce them at that point.

Duly noted, Sam, go. Oh, all right. I was going to say I also pay just over $2,000 to be here every week, but that goes directly to Doug. Yeah. I'm out of you. It's a pretty sweet deal we have. When people say to me, why do you keep having him back?

I'm like, don't worry about it. Yeah. I got my reasons. Damn straight. No, I love got my reasons. Damn straight. My reasons are he's a strong competitor and a terrific actor. Thank you.

And you brought out the big guns. Pain in my ass. You got four players here tonight. You know how much I love that. I love it. When you get boxed out the audience gets to see you squirm. The listeners only get to hear you whine, but the people that are here get to see the squirming. I'm going to go silent when it happens tonight.

Oh, I would love some silent squirming from you. That would make my life. Anthony Jeselnik is here, everybody. I'm very excited to be coming back on your program, the Jessalyn Nick Offensive. Am I on the July 12th? You are.

Is that a spoiler? Yes, you're on the July 12th episode. On Comedy Bang Bang. Yeah, I'll be on there. And then look for me on Chet Williams' show. It's a local show in Oklahoma City.

It's called What's Up? And what's your return date, Anthony? July 9th. Tuesday, July 9th. So the same week as Scott. You gotta get a jump on Scott a little bit there. Great week for comedy. I'm proud to be in the same week as you, buddy. It's almost like

when you're done laughing at my show, you'll have five minutes and then you can watch Scott's show. That's how hard and long people are gonna laugh yeah it's days later that's the joke colin's sick to work uh you brought you brought a copy of your uh dvd extended and uncensored caligula the fuck you laughing i don't know yeah what reaction do you want at? I don't know. Yeah, what reaction do you want from that? I don't know.

Like, oh, shit. Oh. It's called Caligula, and it's uncut. Interesting. It's not that interesting. All right. Just trying to sell it for you. And of course, Sam brought Psycho and Scream.

Yeah. And Chet brought Ninja 3, The Domination. Have you seen this, Chet? Absolutely. It's a classic. You like it? Yeah, Chet? Absolutely. It's a classic. You like it? Yeah, it's a trilogy. It must be good. All right.

Chet digs it. It's got Lucinda Dickey in it, so that can't be bad. I guess you seem pretty confident that you're coming back, that you're giving out number three now. You'll be like, I'll get to two and one. It's got a good running time, an hour and 32. What happens if you win? Do you come back next week? I don't know. I don't think I'm going to win, one. It's got a good running time, an hour and 32. What happens if you win? Do you come back next week?

I don't know. I don't think I'm going to win, so it doesn't really matter. All right, well, that's the same attitude they have at the Olympics, and that's what gets you the gold. You don't give a fuck. What happens? Have you been to the movies lately, Chet? I just saw Man of Steel one week after it came out.

Did you already tell us what you do for a living there in Oklahoma City? No, it's very boring. Tell us anyway. I help sell Medicaid claims processing stuff. I loved how you changed up the snore to something else. You're really a professional. Go ahead, Anthony. No, what do you do?

I sell Medicaid claims processing systems to all the various states around the country. Is that like a scam artist? No, no. He just sends them this weird box that they can't figure out. I just send them a bill and the states send me money. Are you mad about Obamacare? Is that going to put you out of business? No, that increases it. More people.

Yeah, that's right. I'm from a red state, guys. You hear that shit? Yeah, he's a rebel. I saw five movies this week, though. Hang on, we got... I felt so bad. Christ. It's starting already.

We're not even... He's competitive outside of the games portion. Chet, what did you think of that Man of Steel motion picture? Yay or nay? Eh. Oh. You picked a third option. Yay, nay, or eh? And I agree with you and I haven't seen it yet.

Who gives a fuck what he thinks? He paid his way onto the show. Why wouldn't you ask people with, like, talent what they think? He gets all the privileges of a regular guest. That's, you know, all that money's going to Smile Train. I love that you call it privileges. Privileges that are constantly abused. That reminds me, Pete Holmes has to come back soon

because he did win in Chicago. That's true, he did. So if you win this week, I'll bring him back. I'm not going to win this week. Yeah, Pete was abused as a child. Is that his story? It's the only one he tells, man. I guess I haven't been around

when he's in storytelling mode. What about you, Scott? What have you seen? I saw four movies. I saw Man of Steel. I hope four out of these five, or five, four out of the five.

Oh, Jesus. Numbers. Can't do it. I hope you steal all of Sam's movies, is what I want to say. Yeah, I saw Man of Steel. That's one of them. Which, it's fun to imagine all the body parts

that would be laying everywhere in that movie. Yeah, it'd be horrible. Millions of human beings. You mean if, like, James Holmes came in the theater? Or do you mean, like... Because that's what I did. Anthony, tell me you're joking when you say that. That is a terrible thing to say.

I need you to follow me around all the time like my DJ and just say that. Yeah, like a ventriloquist act. Stop saying that. Guys, he's kidding around. I think people have already forgotten who James Holmes is and that's why that joke didn't kill.

Holmes is also a heart. That's never a funny punchline or anything. Holmes. That's what set him off. That's why the show is called Holmes and Yo-Yo. They knew where the laughter was. What? There was a show called Holmes and Yo-Yo.

It's about a detective team, a man... You are staring at me like, please help me out on this one. I'm telling you, it's a real thing. I want to say See Francis Ha. That was a great movie. You really liked that? I loved that movie.

The Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach collab. Collabo. Yeah, they collaboed on that. Is it as good as Sylvia LOL? That's stupid. Let's go to Anthony before Sam. Hopefully he'll take the last of his five movies and we can just get right into the games.

The last of them? We've only got one. Didn't Scott say four? I saw Stories We Tell and World War Z. Oh, okay. World War Z? It's fine. Yeah, okay. World War Z? It's fine. Yeah, okay.

Some people hate it. Really? Yeah, I don't get it. Why? Book readers. They're fucking book readers. Why spread so much hate around? Book readers.

Why waste time hating something? Why talk about it? Goddamn book readers. I'm going to see World War Z tonight after this if you guys follow me on Foursquare. And I saw Man of Steel like a week or so ago. I loved it. When people say that when the critique is that

the fights go on so long they're boring, that's like fucking let me pay double because I love that shit. I loved all the fights going down. I love when Superman's not like, let's go fight over an ocean so no one gets hurt. He's like, this has to happen right here. You know, fucking. if this is going down i'm taking all you assholes out with me yeah people fish what's the difference yeah it's like oh let's go hang out in this china

shop for a second while i work up the courage yeah i loved it i i just got bored I kept zodding off I didn't even see it you guys it's a pretty solid joke for not having seen it I'm channeling Pete Holmes right now I would have gotten pretty bored too

if I thought of that joke so you like all the Transformers movies then? is that what you're saying? I saw like part of the first one those things suck. Okay. If it's one dude, two robots fighting, who's the good guy?

Who cares? You know what I mean? But Superman... Yeah, which machine is truly good? The last Superman was so terrible because he didn't fight anything. He just carried cars around and then threw a rock into space. It was bullshit. This one, shit goes down.

It's awesome well I think Christopher Nolan's kind of found like a you know way to make PG-13 as intense as it possibly can be like Scott was saying

like there's a lot a huge body count in this movie but since you don't see the parts are you a scientist? I don't know what to say to that I don't know how to

yes and that I would have said no if I were you No That's fun Your timing's off That's the problem Sam what's left What did you see that no one else saw

And makes you better than everybody No it doesn't Nothing on this list will make me better I also saw a man of steel Or as I like to call it, My Two Dads. Now that's a great joke. Nah. And then here are the other ones.

I zotted off during that one, too. Fuck, even I zotted off during that one. You weren't even wearing an IZOD when you zotted off. And here are the other four movies you can talk about whichever one you want. I saw Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, Searching for Sugar Man, Total Recall, and White House Down. Wow, there's a lot of thought processes in those titles. A lot.

A lot of seeking and thinking and downing. Yeah. Wait, what was the last one? White House Down? You saw that already? Yeah, I saw it. I went to a preview screen. How that is.

This is a real... You are tickled pink right now. I fucking love saying how that is. If you are... This is a real review. If you love Die Hard, The Rock, and Black Presidents, that is the movie. Whoa, three for three.

Three for fucking three. That is the movie for you. Oh, I'm in. Yeah. Really? Yes, really. Even after Olympus has fallen? I did not see Olympus.

I was not aware it had fallen. But yeah, this movie is Die Hard meets The Rock meets Deep Impact. Because of Morgan Freeman. Deep Impact, he lost me. I didn't care for that one. That's alright.

What about the fifth element, bro? Black president. That's true. Head of state. Was it Tiny Lister? I thought you were supposed to be smart, Levine. That movie takes place in the future.

It hasn't happened yet, so I can't talk about it as if it were in the past. So did all those movies. That cuts out a lot of movies if you can't talk about what's in the future. They didn't start with like five years ago at the bottom of the screen. So you assume the future. I assume the present any time I see a movie.

I don't assume that... You think if it doesn't say five minutes ago or that it's set at some point in the future? Yeah, plus you can tell by what they're wearing. Let the games begin. Gentlemen, pick your name tags.

Go get the name tags you want to play for. There is a crazy-ass puppet that says Todd next to it. I am drawn to that. There's Aiden O's. Aiden's kind of an unfortunate name to have here.

For at least a little while. Sam's already picked one. What is that thing that lights up? Chet got the... Someone bring it to me. The smallest name tag. There's a two-parter. Two-hander.

What's that crazy thing in the back row that's lighting up? It looks like... It's a two-parter. Two-hander. What's that crazy thing in the back row that's lighting up? It's a frog? Looks like War of the Worlds up there. That's a complicated one. We've got some really fancy ones here. Scott's still looking around. Scott's very choosy. There we go.

He got somebody. Anthony has to wear his. I love that you're wearing it like a Bjorn. That's pretty interesting. Yeah. This is a nice proton pack. Tell me what the hell that is, Anthony, that you're doing, wearing. I am playing for a guy named Pete Venkman. I don't know if that's his real...

Is that your real name? Just the Pete part. Just the Pete part. He had a Venkman and he has a little Ghostbusters backpack, which I'm now wearing forwards as if I were some sort of, like, hilarious robot. Hold up your Venkman sign so I can vine the Venkman sign. Oh, this is a vine?

Yeah. Who are you playing for, Scott? I found a nice young man in a Comedy Bang Bang t-shirt from the new season, which you can buy at Earwolf.com. His name's Leb. Unbreak-a-Leb. Leb? Is that your name, Leb? Caleb.

Caleb. Oh, Unbreak-a-Leb. Unbray. Unbray. Unbreak-a-Leb. Yeah, Unbrae Caleb. Unbrae. Unbrae. Unbrae Caleb. Yeah. That's what they should have called it. Chad, who are you playing for? I don't really know.

There's no name on it. Royal White. What's that other piece of paper they gave you? Is that just the shithead? Royal White. It's a fucking bobblehead. It's a bobblehead. The Kansas City Royals.

So you assume his name is Royal White. No, it says white on the back of his thing. I was going to say, why when you look at that do you say white? Yeah, it's a black guy, but it says white on his back, right? That's right. Yeah, somebody wrote white on his back. So who is that supposed to be? George.

George? And you don't have a George Brett? Bobblehead, that would have made this so much easier. Go with George White. All right. Is that right? George White? Okay.

All right. All right. You look just like him. Sam. By far and away the most famous royal. What do you got? Hold yours up, Sam. Oh, you went with Super Troopers.

Yeah. Because these guys are great. She's sitting right behind me there, and she's got Aiden-level enthusiasm. Most of these guys have been on this show, have they not? If not all of them? The dudes from Super Troopers? Yeah. I'd say three have been on, if I had to guess.

But you know how I am with math. I do. Sue says I'm correct. Yeah, she's going to run the whole show from over my shoulder like a weird parrot. Yeah, she's going to run the whole show from over my shoulder like a weird parrot. Okay, so let's play the game that we call Leonard Maltin Games. Since Sam is our returning champion, I will start with you. All right. And then we will go to Chet because he is here after spending a lot of money.

Yeah, totally worth it, right? Went to a great charity. We'll see. because he is here after spending a lot of money. Yeah. Totally worth it, right? They went to a great charity. We'll see. And then Scott from Comedy Bang Bang and Anthony from Being Offensive. The world of Being Offensive. It's a great world, man. I didn't get one single, like, Twitter thing

from anybody saying, that was so offensive when you said, you know what I mean, like, that you't get one single, like, Twitter thing from anybody saying, that was so offensive when you said, you know what I mean? Like, that you would get on any other show. Because people knew what they were tuning into, Doug. It's right there in the title. Plus, why would you tell me that? Because that's a compliment. It's a great one.

Listen, I'm not sure whether to clip the blue wire or the red wire, but I'm afraid that you're going to explode with that thing on your chest. I just might, Doug. I just might. All right, Sam, get to pick a category. All right, buddy. Okay, pal. What do you got?

There we go. What do we got? Would you like... Let's see, where do I want to start? Let's go with... Would you like... Let's see, where do I want to start? Let's go with... Would you like Super Rhymey, and that's titles that rhyme, have rhyming words in them,

or At Cromptown suggested This Isn't the End, that's movies with a scene after the credits. Oh. Like after all the credits, not this bullshit where they put one here, and another one, and another one. Or North Dallas 40. And I was in Dallas recently, and that was why I was suggested.

But movies that have malt liquor in them. Let's go with after the credits. Liquor. Would you like a movie that has a scene after the credits from 1979 or 1986? 1986, please. All right. Do you hear that confidence, everybody? Yeah, it's annoying.

How, like, you said nothing except the bits. Confident you were about the numbers if you, like, had something to do with that year. I said nothing with the bits so far. Not even a bit. Two and a half stars from Leonard. All right.

He calls this movie a saga. He also says that it's typically uneven. And he also says that... That's enough. No more clues for you. All right. I'm the clue Nazi. There are 15 names.

Wow. Yeah, it might be more. Let me double check. 16 names. Negative one? I like how you said as a question to be less of a cunt

I'll give you a bonus for that Chet what are you going to do with that name it yep he had to say name it.

I'm not going to say the thing that I always say that gets you incensed. Words before the answer would qualify. Okay. Is it Ferris Bueller's Day Off starring Matthew Broderick? Yes, it is. Was number two Mia Sara? I was trying to... No, it's Alan Ruck.

But Mia Sara was in third position and then the guy that likes child pornography. Jeffrey Jones. That's so funny. Doug told me that people think Sam's obnoxious on this show. I was like, I know Sam.

I like Sam. I'll be on this thing. But you, by doing what you just did, you ruined that movie for me. Like the whole movie. I've stopped trying to win people over appearing on this show. It's just, there's nowhere for me to go but down.

So I'm embracing the demon. I know a little something about that. Yeah. Isn't there, didn't somebody start something on the internet somewhere? Some sort of fan, Sam Levine on DLM fan page or something? I think so, yeah. Fabulous. I like how you say that that like you're not sure.

You know, fucking, you could probably give us the fucking URL right now. Somebody said that, somebody said that that happened but I don't, I didn't look at it because I didn't want to,

I didn't want to see it. Yeah, yeah, I believe this spot. I didn't want to believe it. Okay, so we're going to start with these other fellas down here. We're going to start with these other fellas down here. We're going to start with Scott.

Ooh! And go to Chet, so Anthony might get boxed out again. Again. Like I give a flying fuck. I'm here as a favor. A party favor?

Uh, would you like... Party starter. What are you saying, Sue? Just sit there and fan yourself quietly. Yeah, some of it's drifting over here. I like it. Yeah, some of it's drifting over here. I like it.

Scott, you get to pick between from our friend at RealJPB suggested Octopussy. And that's films where Leonard Maltin lists eight women or more in the cast. Yeah, it's very... It's in bad taste that category and then celebrating a birthday tomorrow the great Jason Schwartzman

so the films of Jason Schwartzman or the asparagus pee category which is where I only whip this out when all the players know what's going down this is a category where I read everything, the entire description of the movie,

and then everyone should know the name of the movie, and then the bidding begins. The Devil Wears Prada. No, that was just... I know. That was just Pete got all the names on that one, and he still didn't know it was Devil Wears Prada. It wasn't a big movie

or anything. That feels like it should have been a thought in your head. I was just filling the space while waiting for the category choice. I'll do...

What was the first one? Octopussy. Octopussy. I'll do... Do I get first one? Octopussy. Octopussy. I'll do... Do I get a guess a year or no? Maybe. We'll see. Okay.

I'll do Octopussy. Okay. The year is 2008. I'm sorry. This category is hard. It's hard to find ones that have eight women or more. You should have fucking prepared. I had two the other day.

Today it's just the one. Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 2008 that has eight women or more in the cast. He says of this movie that Kyle MacLachlan appears unbilled. And he also says that some of the actresses in this movie are in fine form.

Some? He says a number. But I feel that's saying too much. Oh, interesting. And he lists 11 names. Think, Anthony, think. Wait, are you doing your impression of me saying something

you shouldn't actually say? No, I was just, the joke was that I was going to answer it instead of Scott. And then the joke ended up being... It's not your turn. What? How many names?

Is it eight, or how many can I guess? Oh, your top number is 11. Oh, it's 11? You can start at 11. Yeah, 11 names. Yeah, I'll go 11. That's what you would do. And then we go to chat.

What would Anthony do here? Yeah. Nine names. Took a little chunk out of it, but leaves Sam in a position. Name that movie, Chad. Oh, interesting. I love you, Anthony.

Took the coward's way out. Gets eight out of 11 names? Nine. Oh, nine, sorry. Took the coward's way out. Gets eight out of 11 names? Nine. Oh, nine. Sorry. I want him to get this. Congratulations, Chet. I think you...

Oh, I don't know. I have confidence in Chet. This is going to be for the fucking win for Sam if you don't get this, Chet, so there's no pressure. Congratulations, Sam. No, no, no. All right. if you don't get this, Chet, so there's no pressure. Congratulations, Sam. No, no, no. Alright.

Here we go. Just think of what I'm thinking, Chet. Blythe Danner. Shoray Agdashaloo. Agdashaloo, right? Yes. She was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for House of Wind and Fog.

That is correct. Sand and Fog, but sure. I'm so happy I got close. Michael Rady. Leonardo Nam. Rachel Ticotin. You guys all know who she is, you just don't know her name.

Total Recall. Yeah, her name. Total Recall. Yeah, she's in Total Recall. Tom Wisdom, Rachel Nichols, Blake Lively, and America Ferrara. Are the 9 out of 11 billed actors and actresses in in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants? I'm going to need a full answer. Two? That's correct. Hang on.

There's more. All right, Doug. Nicely done. Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet. Everybody! Chet, you have totally redeemed yourself for giving money to that fucking charity. All right, Chet's on the board. Thank you, Chet.

You really came through. And Sam's really biting his tongue right now. About what? See, that's what I'm saying. He's being really good right now. About me leading him into part two, that was like totally... I was just being dramatic there.

I love that answer. I should shut up. So that means that since Sam challenged Chet we're gonna start with Scott Anthony and then go to Sam Yeah. It makes sense. So Anthony Sam Chetney? Sure. I like the way you said that. Anthony Sam Chetney? Sounds like a weird sentence. Yeah, I bet he did.

Anthony, would you like two thumbs down, that's movies where the late, great Roger Ebert gave a movie less than two stars. Or the Werner Herzog category, which is films that have a colon in the title. Or the Battle of Balls Deep. And that's movies where Lord of the Rings actors have sex.

So the stars of Lord of the Rings go off and get their fuck on in another movie. So it's two thumbs down, or what was the other one, the middle one? The middle one was colon. You know, a movie, it's usually a sequel, but a movie with a colon in the title. I'm going to go with colon in the title. Here we go. This would be a very entertaining category for everyone. Tompkins here.

Three stars from Leonard for this movie that should have a colon in the title, but here's your first clue. What do you mean? What the fuck? Hang on. Does it or doesn't? Hang on.

The way Leonard writes it, it does not have a colon. Yeah, it's interesting. I think it does. Kind of like, you know, Star Trek Into Darkness does not have one. Yeah.

But you think it should? Leonard could do whatever he wants with it. So this isn't necessarily a movie that has a colon. It's just a movie that you think should? Yeah. Yeah, that's a clue. Wow. You should have put that in, right?

That's one of your clues. When you told me about them, you should have been like, oh, and by the way, if you pick this category, I'm going to fuck your whole world up. That's not implied? Aren't there twists and turns in this?

Anyway. I think it should have a colon. It doesn't here. Does it have a year? Yeah, 1990. Thank you. He says this movie that you should stay through

to the end of the closing credits. Yeah. So it might be Ferris Bueller again, which I think should be called Ferris Bueller, colon, Zdayz. Zdayz. Leonard calls this movie Goofy

and it says it has gratuitous cameo appearances in it 1990 three stars 1990 and he lists 13 names how many names do you think it will take you Anthony to come up with that I'm gonna have to say I

need 13 names I'm gonna say I need 10 fair enough Sam in that movie, Anthony. Oh. Come on, Anthony. Again, we're back in a position where if you don't come through for me, Anthony, it's another week of Sam. Honestly, I want to lose just because you deserve that. After this colon, no colon bullshit.

This movie might not have nine women in it, but it probably should have. I've never heard the side of you that was such a spot on voice impersonator.

That was fucking solid. Hey, everybody. impersonator. That was fucking solid. Hey, everybody. I drowned a baby. I drowned a baby.

Hansung Benson, 420. I don't take my career seriously and neither should you. We need more serious comedians Your names are 10 out of 13 You get Tony Randall You get Kathleen Freeman Key Luke Getty Watanabe

Jackie Joseph Dick Miller Haviland Morris Christopher Lee Robert Picardo And Robert Prosky Jackie Joseph, Dick Miller, Haviland Morris, Christopher Lee, Robert Picardo, and Robert Prosky. We will see you in two weeks, Sam.

Because I don't think... I'm going to put a little mark next to Sam's name. Two points. This is... I want to kick you for putting that mark in front of me. It would be so great if you said it right now. I'd be so happy for everyone. If I say it right, can I kick you? With no repercussions whatsoever?

Maybe if you take off your... those things. Be careful. That looks like that would hurt. Yeah, take off your pants and then kick me. If it's not sexual, I'm not having it. I don't know why this is sticking in my head as what the answer is.

I give it to you way off. Oh, I hope you get it. If I'm right, I'll take my pants off. Whoa! Highlander 2, The Quickening. Oh, that definitely does have a colon and should have a colon I know why Leonard gave this movie

three stars yeah there's kind of a story behind it Sam of course that's his way of saying he knows the answer maybe a little you fucking made me name it when you knew the movie I didn't know it until I got the names

I would have never thought in a million years he would give this movie three stars. I'm way less mad now. He heard the names of a bunch of people that are in Joe Dante movies. What's it called? Gremlins 2 colon The New Batch. Yeah, no colon.

That's bullshit. According to Leonard. Leonard is wrong. Leonard is wrong. Yeah. Did you know that? What you got in that? Fuck no.

I don't care. What about you, contest winner? Of course I knew it. Did you know that? What you got in that? Fuck no, I don't care. What about you, contest winner? Of course I knew it. Did you really? Absolutely. I feel bad the contest winner didn't get to play that much. He was pretty involved. Why? Fuck him.

Yeah, that's true. Any of these people would give the right arm to get on stage with us. That's true. That's a good point. I wish that was an option. I wish I could get some arms for my trouble. Anybody

want to give me an arm to get up here? Chet, do you have anything to plug? My new show, The Anthony Jeselnik Experiment. We'll be traveling the country. He's going to give watching the Anthony Juslik Offensive

a chance yeah and he's gonna film himself doing it I appreciate you trying to plug my show I would watch you

watching his show that's a great that's a great idea I don't blame him for not you don't know that I have a much, I have a pretty smart audience.

Who watches my, none of them fucking give to charities. Oh, and your person you chose did put a shithead on the back, and so did Chet's, and let's see what Scott's did. Read mine loudest. Okay. Wait, which one is yours? Oh, this one. You know which one is mine.

All right. I will read that one the loudest. That's a good, that's just a good pointer. Scott? Yes. Plug time. Please come,

come, I don't know, come to your homes and turn on your television set and watch Comedy Bang Bang July 12th. Doug is on it.

Yay! You know, the premiere episode. It's going to be like the best 90 seconds of television that week. It's competing.

It's got strong competition. And also, don't go see Doug in San Diego. Come see me instead because for some weird reason we're having

our shows at the exact same time. Yeah, I'm doing Douglas movies at the American Comedy Company in San Diego. I'll be at the House of Blues July 17. They're like a block apart or so. That's a real Sophie's Choice, you guys. I don't know what I would do. One of us or neither.

Great night to get the fuck out of San Diego I was sorry to hear that can you say what's going to happen in your show to try to sell it I'm going to have special guests we're going to have a really good time it just comes down to who you like better I wish you could be on mine though

that's kind of what was in my head that was what was in my head like I do every year during Comic-Con on Wednesday night. I have a show, and last year you did it. I know. I don't know why we didn't coordinate this. But come see me. Don't come see Doug.

Okay, that's the bottom line. Yeah, and July 12th. Go see Scott. July 12th, San Diego. No, July 17th. July 17th, watch Comedy Bang Bang. July 17th, watch Comedy Bang Bang. And the Anthony... The Jessalyn Nick Offensive premieres on July 9th.

Bam! Pretty good. I got that one right. Thank you for remembering the show you've been on. Yeah. And I will be on a few weeks later. And anything else? You got more tour dates coming up or anything?

Or are you just home for the show? I'll be on tour in the fall. You guys can get your shit together by fall. You guys can get it together. You guys can get it together. Sam, we'll see you in two weeks. I'm not here next week. I'll be watching Tom Hanks on Broadway. I might even go see his show.

Wait a minute. First plan is just watch him walk into the theater. Wow. Probably shows up about an hour before curtain. You think he's an hour early guy? Yeah, I think so. Probably jump out of a car, too. I'll really have to keep my peepers quite...

I'll have to keep them keen and alert. In Forrest Gump, he was using his real voice? What? That's Tom Hanks' real voice? The Forrest Gump voice? It is. Oh, boy. This bit is going nowhere.

I thought you were doing a Southern... No, I wasn't. I was doing me talking. What? Because they said the word peepers? I don't know. Paula Deen apologized for saying peepers. Well, this is the last time I get to plug Do No Harm

before it starts airing on NBC Saturday nights at 10 p.m. Don't miss it. You're going to be on plug its whole run every week. Keep watching, everybody. Then we'd have two viewers. I want you guys to submit reports to me about having watched it and what you thought of it

and what the network did wrong. Let me know how I could have been better. Sam deserves better, and I also like it when he's busy. Oh. I don't know how to take that, but thanks. Super backhanded, but thanks to all you guys, especially Chet Williams for giving all that money.

Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet. Everybody. Scott Aukerman, Anthony Jeselnik, and we'll see Sam the Ma'am Levine again soon, not only here, but in the Super Tournament of Championships. Apologies to comedy. I almost said it.

Because you're here. It's nostalgia. Put your hands together because we went two minutes over. And as always Paula Deen is a shithead

the way Alison Rosen wipes her butt is a shithead Sam the Man Levine aka Lil Wolverine is a shk.a. Little Wolverine, is a shithead!

Now it's time for Doug to watch another hockey. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies!