Doug Loves Movies - Arden Myrin, Mike Lawrence and Jay Larson guest

Episode Date: April 18, 2016

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes comics Arden Myrin, Mike Lawrence and Jay Larson to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody! 420 is almost upon us and on this 420 you should check out Time Traveling Bong. It's a three-night event premiering on Comedy Central featuring Broad City's Alanna Glazer plus Paul W. Downs as cousins who discover a special bong that sends them time traveling with every toke time traveling bong what's not to like three night event starts on 420 at 10 30 9 30 central on comedy central and on the comedy central app enjoy the show doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody, my name is Doug

And I love movies This is Doug Loves Movies. That was perfect. That was very well done. Los Angeles, you win. We're coming to you from the Nerd Melt showroom in the back of Meltdown Comics on Sunday, April 17, 2016, at 420-ish. This is

one of our two LA homes, and for some reason, the name tags are always better over here than at UCB. Let me see. Okay, a couple nights ago, UCB kicked your asses. But it was a rare win for that

crowd. I love Andy instead of Rocky. It would have been a completely different movie. There's a BB-8 over there. Is that what that is? BB-Kate. I love it. It's not knitted though, is it?

There's a lady named Kate on the East Coast who knitted a BB-8. That's some crazy shit. We've got It's a Nick, Nick, though, is it? There's a lady named Kate on the East Coast who knitted a BB-8. That's some crazy shit. We've got, it's a Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick world. All right. Oh, I saw that one on Twitter today, the Rev and Nick. So we got a couple of Nicks.

But I count about seven or eight name tags, so your odds of getting picked are pretty good you guys so good luck to all of you Doug plugs citizens of the Bay Area come to Cobbs Comedy Club this Tuesday 419 for my annual countdown to 420 and if you're in the LA area on Wednesday actual 420 come to the Alex Theater in Glendale for Getting Doug with High. Unless you're allergic to fun.

Douglovesmovies.com and, oh, a programming note, an episode of Doug Loves Minis has gone missing from the iTunes feed, but we're told they're looking for it. And that there have been some issues

with other podcasts as well. So yeah, so there's... It's weird. But subscribers are getting, got it, the episode that's missing. So the moral of this tale is that if you subscribe to doug loves minis and then this happens you'll get the episode anyway so do that

what a cheesy way to force you to subscribe you're gonna miss out on some episodes because itunes fucks shit up so uh you got to get on it. I brought a lovely Baja Fresh bag for the prize bag tonight. It's full of great items like this hat with a pot leaf on it that I got somewhere. And it actually says, it's actually got the MLB logo on the back of it. So I guess that's not really a pot leaf. It's just a green leaf that I just designate a pot leaf because somebody handed it to me. I was at Disneyland yesterday,

and as a pass holder, they give you really awesome stuff like this shitty button. They're having a food and wine festival, so it's a food and wine festival so it's a food and wine festival at Disneyland button and I went on what's today Sunday I went to Disneyland on Friday and I saw a sign they're having this food and wine festival at Disney's California Adventure and I saw on the sign tomorrow at one o'clock Kurt Russell's gonna going to be here, and he's going to talk about his wines that he's made and also tell stories from his storied career as an actor.

And he started out in Disney movies, so I was like, that's going to be awesome. I'll come back tomorrow. And then the next day, I wandered over to where it was supposed to happen at about 10 to 1. I thought, there's maybe a chance it'll be super crowded or there'll be a line. I might not get in, but you know, I'll go over there and see what happens.

And I walk up there and they go, not only is it an extra $200 to get in, you also have to buy your tickets online in advance. So I couldn't even impulse buy a ticket. So I just said it and just went back to going on rides and didn't get to see my hero kurt russell talk about his wines so what can you do uh also in the bag we've got a uh a cd from the comedian keith lowell jensen a cd from another comedian who goes by the name Coolio.

Oh, no, that's the rapper. That's the hip-hop artist Coolio. A Not Safe with Nikki Glaser mug. Yeah. And this thing's weird. This thing. Like, if you go to the trouble of putting batteries in it, it's like an emergency light. Oh, you don't even, I think you can, like recharge it or something just by turning a thing.

Chelsea knows. Oh, here it is on the back. You just, you rev this thing up. And then you just, and you got a light, but I've never been able to get it to do anything. And I also haven't tried very hard. So it's going in the prize bag. And my guest, what's happening?

Doug loves hand-me-downs. All right, so that's your last one. There's something super intimate about this space where people talk to me. It's usually the front row. Where are you from? Texas. Texas. Well, that explains a lot.

Which part? Why don't you say specifically? Dallas. Dallas? Are you just like, got Austin envy or something? Most people think the whole state's shitty if they're not from here. Most people think the whole state's shitty? I guess so.

It's a big state, and there's plenty of nice people there, including yourself. What's your name? Chris. Thanks for coming, Chris. And please welcome to the stage my guests today, Mike Lawrence, Jay Larson, and Arden Marine! Arden!

I used to always say Arden Mirren. I know, it looks like Mirren. But then I just have been on At Midnight with you several times. Yes. And Chris Hardwick really lays into Mirrine. He really nails it. Yeah. I did Chelsea Lately for many years and they had to put it in

phonetically into the teleprompter for her over a hundred times. They spelled it out like that. Well, that's because, you know, she was, I didn't know it at the time, but apparently she's been smoking pot for a while.

Oh, is that true? Yeah. Good for her. Because she did that Chelsea Does special on Netflix about drugs and she did ayahuasca or whatever the fuck.

Oh, yeah. And yeah, but apparently she's a big pothead. And every time I was on Chelsea Lately, if I said something stupid, she went right to, you pothead, every fucking time. And she was smoking herself the whole time. But she's a day smoker. She has all the strengths and none of the weaknesses. Yeah. Like it's a day smoker. She has all the strengths and none of the weaknesses. Yeah.

Like it's a superhero. That's right. All right, well, let's meet everybody individually here on the stage, starting with Arden Marine is here, everybody. Hello. Hello. When are you going to be on At Midnight again, Arden? I was just on on Tuesday.

I lost, but I had a really good... I was on with Carrot Top, which was very exciting. Wait, so he just whip out props for every answer? I was hoping that he did. It was odd to look at Carrot Top and go, Hello, Scott. That felt strange. Everything in my being wanted to touch his hair and go, Carrot Top, Carrot Top, Carrot Top. go, hello, Scott. That felt strange. Everything in my being wanted to touch his hair

and go, Carrot Top, Carrot Top, Carrot Top. But his name is Scott. Yeah, and if you say Scott Thompson, usually you're talking to one of the kids in the hall. That's what confused me. Right? Isn't that weird? That's why he changed his name to Carrot Top,

because he knew eventually there'd be another famous Scott Thompson. Exactly. Another famous Scott Thompson. But you and I were in Austin together with At Midnight doing Periscope. Yeah, that was fun. It was an all Periscope episode of the show, so only people could see it on Periscope, but we had ourselves

a nice time. I made a vine of Arden dancing around after the show in some bar. Oh, I loved to dance. I got, so there was an executive's wife there that was so hammered, and she was like, you're my friend, and then she hit me in the head with a glass, and I bl, so there was an executive's wife there that was so hammered. And she was like, you're my friend. And then she hit me in the head with a glass. And I bled so hard.

I still have a scar on my forehead. And then I dressed today not realizing I was facing you. So rather than flash everybody, you're going to look at Terry Crews in my crotch. Oh, I like that. Terry Crews is going to be right there. So I want everybody to think, if you look up my skirt in general, my crotch looks just like Terry Crews. That crotch is under Crews control. I guess I really should remember to mention that to the lady guests.

But people can look up Jay Larson's shorts right now, too. So something for everybody. Put on your glasses. And let's talk to Mike Lawrence, too. Something for everybody. Put on your glasses. Let's talk to Mike Lawrence, everybody. Back on the show. Oh, man. Totally distracted by the guy in the front

with the Batman hat and Wolverine's arm hair. It is a bold look. I think we might have to... Maybe next week we'll move the front row, or next time we'll move the front row back a little bit. No, I like it. I want to touch all of them. It's pretty tight. People's feet are on the stage.

Does it hurt every time he puts on jean shorts? Every time. And Mike, you're visiting from New York City, right? Yep, yep, yep. What brings you out to California this trip? I did at midnight on Thursday. How'd that go? I am now two and nine.

So you added one, or you're saying that was the ninth loss? I've won twice. I've lost nine times. I'm two and nine as well. No, I'm two and ten. I'm two and ten. Fuck. Braggart.

Okay. And Jay Larson is here, everybody. Five stars. Five stars. Ooh. What did you say? Someone has a popular podcast. Oh, Crab Feast.

Yeah, you're on the Crab Feast podcast with Ryan Stickler. He's a stickler. And you're on the Crab Feast podcast with Ryan Stickler. He's a stickler. And you're in a motion picture. That's why I called you up and said, hey, come do Doug Lowe's movies, even though I should have asked you to do it long ago. It's okay, Doug. You're in a movie that's currently out. That's right.

Limited but going strong called The Invitation. The Invitation. Who's seen it? You've seen it? Yeah. You can get it on demand. It is very good. It's a thriller. It's fantastic. Yeah You've seen it? Yeah. You can get it on demand. It is very good. It's a thriller.

It's fantastic. Yeah, people are loving it. I was lucky to be in it. It was directed by Karen Kusama. Is that how you pronounce it? Karin Kusama. Karin Kusama.

Connecticut. And she, I didn't think I'd fuck up that first name. It was like a thing on set when you walked on there. I was like, hey, where's Karen?

Just think of car in. I'm like, good, where's Karen? Just think of car in. I'm like, good note. Thank you. By the way, dude, I love you on Silicon Valley, man. Great to have you. There's a gentleman in the front row who looks like Martin Starr. Let me remind my guests that this is a podcast that's audio only. Use your imagination.

Not the best place for crowd work. You're going to be doing it all day. And Jay, I wanted to ask you one thing about The Invitation because I think it's one of those movies I feel this way about most movies, but it's one where the less you know about it going into it, the more fun

and exciting it's going to be. But I do have to say this. You got your face slapped hard. I sure did, yeah. I got slapped. You know what's funny is I kept saying to, I'm like, let's do it real. Let's do it real.

First of all, I'm the only person in the movie who's not a real actor, okay? Everyone else is an actor. And I became really close with one of the other guys. I'm like, dude, I'm not an actor. He's like, you are an actor, bro. I'm like, all right, relax. Thespians speak.

And so I was like, let's do a real slap. And the director's like, we're not doing a real slap, Jay. We're just going to do, I'm like, come on thespian speak. And so I was like, let's do a real slap. And the director's like, we're not doing a real slap, Jay. We're just going to do it. I'm like, come on, I want to get slapped. And they're like, we're not doing a real slap. And Tammy would not slap me for real. Because we tried it once. And I was like, that's good.

She's like, no, I can't do it. I'm not going to slap you. And I was like, all right. So then we stage acted, guys. You know the term for it. Stage acted. What's it called? I didn't even notice in the cutting.

I didn't notice that they cut it in a way where she actually could have not slapped you. It seemed like she really gave you a good one. I can't tell you about movie magic, Doug. It's just like what happens on set. It's just some beautiful things that happened. Also, I didn't know it was coming, so why would I notice where the cut is? I can't wait to see it. Is there murders?

I'm not going to tell you that. All right, I'll be there. You should just see it. Terry and I will go afterwards. It's an intense movie. For an intimate value. It's an invitation to murder. Yeah, it's really good.

Thank you. And it's what they call kind of a slow burn. And like I said, I recommend it. Just go see it. You know what's refreshing about that, by the way? What? Everything now is immediate in this world. We're going to have it now, now, now, now.

To sit and just be along for a ride is something that we don't do enough. You know what I mean? Well, without saying what happens, this guy knows. Shut your mouth. What happens in the first few minutes of the movie seems like well this is a kind of an odd waste of time but then it's gonna be awkward talking to jay about it on sunday yeah i don't know how i'm gonna get over this first scene with jay uh no not you know not a waste of time it's still like why is this happening i'm curious and then uh yeah why is my brain working?

I just want to sit here. It all comes together very nicely, and I recommend it. Thank you, Doug. I'm glad to hear you say that. Thank you for finally saying yes to my myriad invitations to be here. I just wanted to work the word invitation in again. But thank you all for being here. Arden brought for the prize bag the aforementioned towel

that has Terry Crews' face on it. You guys will get it after I spit in my crotch for the whole podcast. She's got to use it as a covering. I'll put it on my knees. Yeah. Put it on my knees.

That's a great look. I washed it before I came. I washed it for you guys. That's so sweet. It's in my jizz towel for so long. I washed it for you guys. That's so sweet. It's in my jizz towel for so long. I'm kidding. Girls don't have that. Girls don't have that.

I hope they don't need a jizz towel. I hope they just go somewhere warm and dry off naturally. I just go weeping in the desert. Why is my question. Why do you have a towel that has Terry Crews' face on it? It's a Terry cloth.

It's a Terry cloth? It's a Terry cloth. It says Terry cloth. White people, is there anything they can't make? I know. He hosted a show that I was on, and they gave it to me. And I actually felt uncomfortable owning it. I felt like if I got pulled over,

I just felt like there was something wrong with me owning this. But now one of you will have to deal with it. It's going to be somebody. I feel like if you clean yourself and he doesn't like your body, it just has a frowny face. Yeah, he runs a tight ship.

It's a mood towel. And what else did you bring, Arden? Because you did bring another item that you don't have to put on your crotch. Oh, I have to go get it. Oh, shit. I'm going to go get it. Why is it so small? I know. I don't know why you didn't bring it with you.

Oh, I've got to set this down. She was nervous. I'm tired of carrying this tiny thing. Now she's having trouble finding it. Did somebody throw it in the garbage or something? Here she comes. We're doing this in real time, you guys. I have instant underpants in a can just to add water.

So it could go, it's a set. It's a set. It could go with your terrycloth terry towel. You will look like the pervious person in Los Angeles, which is hard to do. You have a lot of competition. I'll put that right there. I think I know who the last most pervious person

in LA was. You can pass the underpants down here. That might not make it into the bag because I like the idea of owning this. Arden's instant underpants. I like that I just had that in my office. I was like, you know what? I'm going to bring my underpants

in a can and it also says very clearly labeled on the front one pair because you know it's such a huge canister that you think how many underwears are in there I love the guy that opens it and there's one pair and he's like that's how they fuck you with these things

should have read the fine print what did you bring, Jay? I brought a couple things. One, I brought a koozie from my podcast. Fuck the crap, these five stars. That's actually a great gift. And then I brought

this, which is a very special item, but I'm willing to part with. My buddy gave me this a long time ago when, are you guys familiar with the movie The Big Lebowski? Yes.

When the movie came out, Miramax, like as a promo, made these and they're like a little cube that folds into the different characters

in the movie. The dude. Oh, that's good. How could you part with that? The Jesus. You know why? Because my buddy gave it to me and I held on to it for a long time.

And I'm a huge Lebowski fan. I can probably outquote anyone in this room on Lebowski. Oh, really? No, don't. Step up. Hey, Jay, real quick. Yeah? Don't ask them any questions.

Don't give them any challenges. Just behave as if this is a show where there's no audience. I thought it was really cool, and I've had it long enough, and I thought I'd pass it on to someone else who really loved movies and would appreciate it. Alright, shut the fuck up, Donnie. That is a cool thing. Yeah, that's good. I really like it. Oh, and it's also kind of falling apart. Yeah, well, it's also a collector's item

so fuck off, dog. All the best collector's items are in less than mint condition. You went on Antiques Roadshow, they'd be like you know what this could have been worth? You've got to say that it was in good shape, but Flea was fucking with it and messed it up. Or, you know, somebody involved in the movie.

Alright, Mike, what do you got for the bag? I have two things. I have my album because I came here from New York to do the most LA thing possible. Promote myself. It's my album, Sadamantium Wolverine. There you go. And I just pulled out a random comic in my backpack

because I always just have random comics. This is New 52 Deathstroke Issue 13. That's funny that you say that in a comic book store that you just walked through. Comics just end up in my backpack. I'll like you think this is the one I'd steal. Well, you're giving it away

so it doesn't have to be great. All right, that was good. You win this round, Benson. But it's... There you go. It's in a bag and everything, though. Yeah.

Like, that's how they, you know... And it has pop chip crumbs in it because it's been in my bag for, like, six months, and I'm a failure. Well, thank you for bringing that stuff, you guys. All of that is going to be won by somebody after we play some games today. And before we start those games, I have a question that I have to ask everybody, starting with Arden. Yes. What was the last motion picture that you saw in any format?

I saw the Richard Linklater movie in the theater. I saw the new one. Everybody Wants Some. Everybody Wants Some. That's what I saw. I got this. Guy in the audience. Wolverine hooked us up with the answer.

Yeah. Is there an exclamation point in the title, too? I think maybe. Yeah, I think there is. I really want some. Is it great? That's what drew me in. I enjoyed it.

My friend didn't like it, who'd seen it before, and I was like, and so on. Sorry, twice, though? Hate it, let's see it again. No, but I, no, so then she saw it before me, and I went, and I was like, I think she's wrong. I mean, the first 10 minutes, like, acting, you're like, this is really bad. You just give into it. It's really fun. I enjoyed it.

They dance a lot. It's a lot of baseball players that know lots of different... They have different outfits for different dancing bars. Sounds fun. It's kind of fun. Probably by the time this year is done, we'll get the lowest score on the Bechdel test of any movie.

And that's even Batman versus Superman is more of a feminist movie than Everybody Wants Some. There is like two girl characters in Everybody Wants Some, and one of them just sort of vanishes without saying much. Yeah, you're right. And the other one, whenever she's talking, it's about boys or there's a boy that she's talking to. Yeah, it's just, whenever she's talking, it's about boys or there's a boy that she's talking to. It's just all it is.

And I felt like trying to make the lead boy like a philosopher. It's like, fuck off. Really? Okay. I liked the McConaughey knockoff. I enjoyed him. I enjoyed their mustaches. I mean, you know, it is what it is.

I don't watch any Linklater movie that takes less than 12 years to make. Solid joke. Jay, what was the last movie you saw? I saw The Invitation, clearly. You just watch it over and over again? Yeah. It's me on the screen! When you're invited to premieres, guys.

What happened? So had you not seen the movie before the premiere or whatever? Well, we were at South by, so I saw it at South by Southwest. Oh, okay. But then they just did a premiere on the roof of the Ricardo Montalban Theater. You ever gone up there for a movie? Not on the roof, no.

Yeah, it's pretty amazing. The only thing I didn't like is they give you headsets to listen. Oh. And so it kind of takes you out of it. You know what I mean? You're in your own personal thing, but there's nothing like being in a movie theater and hearing the sound as a collective group. That's weird.

But the last movie I watched was Knocked Up. I watched it. I have two kids. It's not like I'm out at the movies all the time. I'm taking care of humans and raising them into better people. I'm stuck on why they would think you need headphones. Because

they're not allowed to loudly project a movie in a room. That makes sense. Because my first thought was like, it must have been like in a fly zone. That was your first thought? Growing up in San Diego, there was a theater, an outdoor theater in the summer that would do musicals and it was right in a flight path

in downtown San Diego. Yeah. In Balboa Park. So whenever a plane would fly over, everyone would freeze. Even if it was in the middle of a song. Whoa. Yeah, it was fucking weird. That's so weird. Because also, it just depended. Like, sometimes you'd just be like, all right, enough of this.

You know, because if it happens like 10 times, you get sick of it. But it's cute at first. Rema, lama, lama, ka-dinga-dinga-dinga. That's my grease stopping. That's grease stopping right in the middle of you guys. Can I change my script? Grease stopped a lot when I watched it on Fox. I watched a movie last night in my hotel room in Dallas.

I watched Honey on HBO with Jessica Alba and Missy Elliott. I watched Honey last night. I forgot. I was in an Ambien haze after my shows. I took an Ambien and I watched Honey last night. I just remembered. All right, well, now we don't have time

to ask Mike what he saw. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Because you doubled up. Now, what did you see, Mike? Oh, God. Fucking Batman versus Superman. Batman. Thank you. That was my review.

She just went, aww. I fucking hated it. Because she's one of those people that has to make noises at everything. Oh, my God. He said it. I thought she was with you. Her boyfriend loves it, though. He's like, thank God someone said it. You know, was with you. Her boyfriend loves it, though. He's like, thank God someone said it. You know, it's not the worst movie I've ever seen.

It's the first one to make me think I shouldn't have kids. Like, I literally, I called my wife after, like, you definitely shouldn't have kids. Do we want kids in a world where this is our Batman and Superman? Because I don't. They made a Batman and Superman movie for people who beat the shit out of me for reading Batman and Superman because I don't. It was, they made a Batman and Superman movie for people who beat the shit out of me

for reading Batman and Superman comics growing up. Yes. It was fucking horrible. That's who that movie's for? People that hate comic book nerds?

Yes. Yes, it is. Finally, a comic book movie for them? Yes. That was in the trailer. You don't remember? Superman's a douche.

Yeah, well, Batman doesn't fare much better. I mean, they're both sort of mad at each other without just having a simple conversation. Yeah. And then the Martha thing is the worst thing ever. They basically reused the Bort license plate joke from The Simpsons. My mom is also named Martha. Like, it's

fucking horrible. Yeah, that part was weird. It's probably been out long enough that we can throw that spoiler out there. No, I just saved lives, thank you very much. I'm more of a hero than either of the two people in the film.

And I haven't killed anyone. Yeah, it's tough but also you know i think you can go ahead and have kids because based on the numbers and everything i don't i doubt that these this batman and this superman are going to last much longer they're going to do like they're already shooting justice league right but you know first of all they won't be in justice league as much as their own movie, right? I don't know. Because there'll be other ones. You know what I mean?

They'll take turns. I hope Suicide Squad is just Zack Snyder killing himself for two hours. But Zack Snyder didn't do Suicide Squad, right? No, but he created the universe that has given us asshole superheroes, so fuck them. Yeah, that's true.

But the Suicide Squad, just the trailer to me, which I've only watched the one time because I don't watch them over and over again, but it feels more fun than Batman v Superman. They had to reshoot it to add more jokes, though. That's what I heard, yeah. The trailer? At least they did that. They went out and reshot the trailer. I don't like this. Let's reshoot it to add more jokes, though. That's what I heard, yeah. The trailer? At least they did that.

Yep. They went out and reshot the trailer. I don't like this. Let's reshoot it, guys. What kind of jokes are they going to add? Are you their squad? It's me, Margaret. Is it because of Deadpool?

Is it because Deadpool came out and they're like, oh, no, it needs to be funny. That's the thing. Deadpool was great. Yeah, it was great. How are we in a world where Deadpool and the Punisher are done right, but you can't figure out Superman?

That is so weird to me. Wait, when did they do The Punisher right? On Daredevil season two. He's amazing. Oh, okay. It's the best ever. I was going to say, you know, this is Doug Lowe's movies, and The Punisher movies so far have not...

I know. One of them is better than the other one, but it's super campy, right? What's the subtitle of the Punisher? War Zone. I think campy is fine. That's the thing. I would watch Batman and Robin any day over Batman vs. Superman, because at least

it made me feel something. At least they tried. I just felt so numb during Batman. I just saw George Clooney on Meet the Press still apologizing for that movie. He should. Like, he's like, I support Hillary, and I'm sorry about Batman and Robin.

What does he have to apologize for? He was just in a movie, and it was fine. He must have been so relieved. He's the only Batman on screen that's never killed anybody. And that's a fact. Interesting. And that's what Batman's supposed to do? Not kill anybody? Yep. Okay.

It's like G.I. Joe. Yeah, because I recently saw a part of Did we ever figure out what the other half of the battle was in G.I. Joe? G.I. Joe? Are you asking me? We know it's knowing, but what's the other half? Yeah, I don't know. That's a good joke.

I've lost interest in what I was about to say. I'm sorry. Let's move on to the part of the show where hopefully there's more discipline. I apologize. More taking turns. Sorry, guys. Why is Arden apologizingizing I said Honey Daniels I was the asshole

I'm sorry you're still both doing it that's great let the games begin people brought name tags and you guys have to pick one each and just a future request I'm taking the box of donuts brought name tags. And you guys have to pick one each.

Just a future request. I'm taking the box of donuts and slowly eating them on stage because I'm a fat piece of shit. Alright, hang on a second. All three of you stop talking, especially Jay. Because he wasn't saying anything. While you pick your name tags, we're going to go to this commercial message. We'll be right back. Hey you guys. If it's not 420 yet, when you are your name tags, we're going to go to this commercial message. We'll be right back. Hey, you guys.

If it's not 420 yet, when you are listening to this, then this is a very important message. Because on 420, I've got three words for you. Time traveling bong. That's right. It's a three-night event that premieres at 1030, 930 Central on Comedy Central on April 20th. Broad City's Alanna Glazer, along with Paul W. Downs, star as two cousins who stumble upon a time-traveling bong.

We should have you right there, if you're a fan of me. But let me continue. This time-traveling bong hurls them through history, and when the bong breaks, as bongs are wont to do, they're forced to bounce around the space-time continuum, hoping each hit they take will get them closer to home. That's time-traveling bong. On 420 it starts, but it's a three-night event, so jump in whenever you can, but it starts on 420 at 1030, 930 Central on Comedy Central

and you can also watch it when you want on the Comedy Central app. Back to the show. We're back! Yes! Who are you playing for, Arden? Kelly's Heroes.

They set out to rob a bank and damn near won a war instead. Okay, you can stop there. You don't have to read every word on it. But so Kelly is your name? Yeah. Okay, great. So you're playing for Kelly. Kelly.

And good job, Kelly. Usually sitting in the back can count against you, but in your case, the fact she couldn't see it at all was a plus. Because have you ever seen that movie, Arden? No, I've never seen this movie, but I can't wait to learn all about it. You could do that on your own time.

Don Rickles and Clint Eastwood and Carol O'Connor, sign me up, motherfuckers. Yeah, it's a crazy all-star cast. Yeah. Who are you playing for, Jay? Playing for Andy. Seriously, man. Hang on a second.

Please, with this crinkling of a wrapper two feet from me. What the fuck? Batman, letting him down. Like the movie. Batman versus Cheetos next week. Batman's going to kill again. The Cheetos have never lost. Who are you playing for there, Jay?

I'm playing for Andy. And it's the Rocky poster. It's the Rocky poster with Andy over it instead of Rocky, which I think is amazing. Yeah, it's not Photoshopped. No, he just took letters and and pieces of paper and wrote them on there and then he you know what i love the most didn't use a y or did the y fall off anyway it's just and and then the y from rocky which i want to say right now i want to take a stance right now for celeste or cologne will everyone take shots of him for being just a hack he won best picture for this

movie show some goddamn respect yeah thank you yes thank you half the room if you're gonna do still best alone if you're gonna diss him i say stop or my mom will shoot oh is that a category Oh, is that a category? It's too bad you can't win an Oscar by naming a movie Oscar. I could keep going all day. Who are you playing for, Mike? I am playing for Teresa. And she just gave me donuts.

So if you guys want some, there you go. No, you get to, that's how they bribe people. You get to enjoy the. It totally worked. It looks like she went pretty far out of her way for that too, the 7-Eleven donuts. I know. From a 7-Eleven a block away.

It's a podcast, so you won't be able to see me getting the diarrhea as I eat them. Are they flavored? Yeah, chocolate. Chocolate mini donuts? Yeah. From 7 Select. Like that's their off brand? Really?

7-Eleven has some discriminating eaters come in there for the select donuts. Not just any donut. All right, so that's the breakdown of who you guys are playing for. And I picked out some games that I like to play. Not just any donut. All right, so that's the breakdown of who you guys are playing for. And I picked out some games that I like to play. And for this first one, we need to introduce a special guest. You guys want to do some fucking lines? What's up? Yeah!

Woo! Oh, my God. Yeah! Wow. Wow. Oh! Yeah Wow Wow Oh Hey Mark Wahlberg How's it going?

How you guys doing? You doing good? Good What's up Arden? I'm okay How you doing? Why don't you move that fucking towel? Okay

Let's start at home She did I'm a fucking towel. Okay. For the listener at home, she did. Who do you think would win in a fight, you or Terry Crews? Me? You're asking me or Terry Crews? I'm asking you to answer the question. I don't have to.

Because Terry Crews is the president. All you have to say is Mark, who would win in a fight, you? Oh, I don't need to finish it. It doesn't even, the end never matters, bro. Mark Wahlberg, V Batman, V Superman,

you would take it all? Bring them all. Let's go, Kill Al. And what's going on with you? What kind of summer do you have coming up? Turns out Donnie doesn't have a license.

So he's getting his learner's permit. Have him drop me off and just do loops. Wait, he's been dropping you off at the show like every time. And he hasn't had a license this whole time? Yep.

I was like, where did you get this Chevy S10? He's like, I found it. So he also doesn't vote? I don't know what the fuck he does. That would take initiative. Instead, he just likes living in the garage. You know, can I hop in here? We've met before.

Do you know that? What? We've met before. I was 15. I don't remember a lot of normal people. Well, it was at... You were at Strawberry Records in Burlington, and I went there with some...

Josephine Pascuccio and her sister. You were dating her at the time. I don't know if you remember that. Diane Pascuccio. Huh? Was I doing a signing? Yeah, you were doing a signing. You signed my bumper sticker for Kiss 108.

I bet I looked fucking great. I like that your voice just got more Boston to compete with it. Just letting them know where I'm at, you know what I mean? Did we get in a fight? No, we didn't get in a fight. You didn't even make eye contact. Honestly, I bonded more with the Funky Munch that day. Oh, my goodness.

Strawberry Records. Strawberry Records is what was up at that point in time. Yeah, that's great. You and their parole officers can love those people for all I care. I do like that bracelet, man. What about this? Yeah, 37 fucking pounds, bro. That's like your Fitbit.

Fuck yeah. I just wear this around and work out all the time. You want to do a fucking line talk or what? Do you have to switch wrists that it's on? No. You prefer being stronger on the left side? It evens out, bro. I like your power pose. You've been listening to TED Talks?

When you're Mark Wahlberg, this is just called standing. I want to ask one movie question. I heard rumors that you're doing Fear 2. Is that true? We will do fucking Fear 2. Is Reese signed on? Reese is the one who wants it so bad. All she wants is the roller coaster scene. I'm like, we don't have to film that, but if you have a GoPro, let's go to Six Flags right now. All right, so here's the game we're going to play. Mark is going to say a line from a motion picture, and it's not necessarily one of his own.

So my guests on stage, and only them, get to guess as much as you can until somebody gets it right. Okay. All right? Good luck, Arden it right. Okay. All right? Good luck, Arden. Thanks, Mark. All right, you ready?

Wow, it kind of feels like you want her to win. Oh, my gosh. Seriously, it's a little... This better not be a line from Everybody Wants Some because she'll recognize it. I'd be all over it. Or Honey. Or Honey.

Honey Daniels, you crazy. Look good, feel good. Look good, feel good look good feel good alright here we go alright whatever mileage we put on

we're just gonna take off Ferris Bueller's Day off it is Ferris Bueller's Day fuck it Boston's home motherfucker thanks Mark Wahlberg wow you're welcome great job wow you were quick Oh, motherfucker! Beep, beep! Thanks, Mark Wahlberg.

Wow. You're welcome. Great job. Wow. You were quick with the draw with that. That was super, super fast. I know like seven movies. That's one of them. That was exciting.

I know seven movies. I love his accent. Seven isn't one of them. Oh, that wasn't amazing? Yeah, it was. Andy! Yeah. A comedian friend of mine just the other day was tweeting about how amazing it was in Ferris Bueller

that he got up and sang the Beatles song. I like Don Crescent more. Right, but then about Don Crescent, I said, yeah, but it was weird that he was lip syncing. It was spontaneous and lip syncing. I don't know how that happens. But then the guy goes on to say it was even weirder when he sang that

song that was sung by a lady. Because people have historically thought that Wayne Newton sounds like a lady. But Donka Shane is a huge ass song that Wayne Newton is famous for so i was i was surprised that he didn't know but he's young what does he know i met wayne newton once and i and i i had had this was a while ago i was hammered and i got to go to his show and i like panicked and i

dropped my bag and it and i it looked like it looked like i dropped like herpes cream all over it was like so i like high on lip gloss and it looked like people dropped herpes cream all over. It was like, so I had high end lip gloss and it looked like people were like, pick up yourself. And it was awful. And then Wayne Newton, just like right now. It was just like right now. It was the right now of meeting Wayne Newton. You know, we got a surprise for you.

Wayne Newton, get out here, man! I don't have herpes, Wayne! Doc is Shane Wayne! She just brings out a box of Wayne Newtons in the prize bag. Wayne Newtons, just brings out a box of Wayne Newtons in the prize bag. Wayne Fig Newtons? Wayne Newtons. Oh!

There you go. Yeah. We know what you meant. A bag of Wayne Newtons. My autism manifests itself into weird puns. I wonder if he likes Fig Newtonsons and I wonder how long it's been since his face moved it wasn't moving then that was a while ago not moving that alright well there you go so Jay Larson won the first game that means he gets to

go first in this next game and let me look at what we're playing here uh then we'll go to arden and then to uh mike in this game because this is one where we go to you individually in turn and in honor of jay's role in the invitation we're going to play a game called abcd's nuts and we are going to spell the invitation now here's how this works okay you're going to play a game called ABCD's Nuts And we are going to spell the invitation Now here's how this works You're going to get the first letter, which will be T And you can name any movie that begins with the letter T To stay in the game

It's harder than it sounds, strangely And then, if you match the movie that I wrote down on this piece of paper Ahead of time, You just automatically win this game Otherwise I have to go through the whole You don't The next letter would be H to Arden If you succeed with T And so on until we spell the invitation

In theaters now A lot of people don't know this but I did improv early on in my career And one thing I felt really strong about Was trying to connect You build a connection You find a vibe between. And one thing I felt really strong about was trying to connect. You build a connection. You find a vibe between you and the other person. That's what I'm trying to do right now. And I'm going to say Time Cop.

Oh, interesting. I went with Terror Train. Yeah. But Time Cop was good. Because also, you know, you didn't have to use a movie that begins with the. Which is usually, you know, that's movie that begins with the, which is usually where people go with the letter T sometimes. Great enough.

Alright, Arden. Any movie that begins with H? I'm going to go with Harry Connick Jr. and Sandra Bullock and Hope Floats. For a second there I thought you were going to try to push through that Harry Connick Jr. was the name of a movie.

So glad I didn't. But I love the added details that you threw in there. I've never heard someone do it that way before. Or like you were worried we wouldn't believe that was a movie. It's real. Sandra Bullock, Harry Connick Jr. Alright, I'm going to go with

Hellraiser is what I chose. Better choice. Well Bullock, Harry Connick Jr. All right, I'm going to go with Hellraiser. Okay. Is what I chose. Better choice. Yeah, well, not necessarily better, just different. E is the next letter for Mike Lawrence. I'm going to go with Pauly Shore's debut and also swan song, Encino Man.

I'd like to ask you to quit wheezing the juice. I went with Event Horizon, which I've been told often is great, and I don't remember it being great, so I plan to revisit it at some point. Jay? Yes. I.

In the nick of time. What's that? I think it's just nick of time. I'm pretty sure it's just nick of time. I'm pretty sure it's just nick of time. I think so too, but let's see what Jay thinks about it.

Jay was a little panicked when he got to that. Like I said, I know seven movies, none of them begin with an I. And in the nick of time came up in my

head, I think it's a movie. That came into your head? Pretty sure it's a movie. Andy? Andy?

Anywhere? Does Andy help out at all? No? What's that? No, no. Is your lifeline. Andy? Andy? Anywhere? Does Andy help out at all? No? What's that? No, no. Is your lifeline? Andy, is your lifeline?

That is a great question and I'll tell you right now that another game in this show will have a lifeline. That's good. But Andy cannot help you now. Okay.

And, uh, sorry, Jay. We can't go to, like, a... Okay. I just know, like, in Scrabble, you go to, like, an encyclopedia

Does that work? Oh alright Or what about like If you get an answer wrong on Jeopardy There's usually a little wiggle room To discuss it with Alex And then say something else You know what?

We'll take it We'll take in the nick of time Yeah Sorry dude So that means that Arden Gets saddled with Hold on Doug

Doug I don't give a shit Take it away Take it back into the room. Don't even say it out loud. I want everyone to know what's going on here. It's a conspiracy against me and Andy. Who stars in In the Nick of Time?

Jay Larson? Why do I need to know that? Is that part of the game? It is when you're just making up a title and hoping that somebody, hoping that it exists. Oh, that's the one with Johnny Depp. That's what you meant, was the one with Johnny Depp

called Nick of Time. Maybe. I think you just said an expression that popped into your head, and now... No, now TV movies don't count? No, they don't count, and fucking don't even,

like, look at that first before... Just go to the end, Doug. Like, nobody say anything but I'm in charge in the nick of time is not a movie that I am going to recognize so we get to move on

remember when you said you wanted a more controlled atmosphere what you were like alright now a more controlled portion Arden I

yeah you still get I insurrection Arden I yeah you still get I Insurrection is that a word Michael I specifically chose the easiest fucking game that I have

in my disposal hey for guests that might not be great at movie trivia and you guys have proven me right is that a movie it might be but you can't say is this a movie? Insurrection! I know that movie and I loved it. Who's in it? Your mother!

Your mother. What year is this? All right so uh Mike Lawrence hang on a second. Hang on, I'll speak, and then you can... Mike Lawrence, if you could name any movie from the millions, yeah, probably a million movies, if you could name a movie that begins with the letter I, you win. I am literally on an episode of Celebrity Jeopardy right now. It's so amazing. Idle Hands.

Yeah. That's awesome. I went with Insidious. Insidious. Yeah, so just for funsies. That was no insurrection. What'sies. That was no insurrection. What's that? That was no insurrection.

You're really still talking about insurrection? Go to V and I'm going to match up with you and then we'll show you how connected we are. Okay. But in the meantime, Mike, what do you think the N title is? Oh, that's right. Needful Things. Oh, very's right. Needful things.

Oh, very good. I went with Near Dark. Yeah. What do you think the V is? Oh, wait. Let's... Go ahead, Jay, since you're so excited about the V. No, I'm not that excited anymore. V is for Vendetta? That is...

If only there was a movie for every letter of the alphabet, N is for Nick would have been great if that existed. It's V for Vendetta, not V is for Vendetta. They're not that obvious about it. It's okay. V is for Vendetta. I love that, I love that you're a stickler like me

what do you have for V Mike varsity blues I went with VHS what do you got for I it's another I a lot of I's in this one indecent exposure indecent proposal.

Also? Where was that? Robin Redford, million bucks. Would you do it? I probably would. I went with it follows. Yeah. T, Mike.

Am I out of the game now? Oh, yeah. Mike won this game already. Oh, okay. This is just an exercise in seeing if Mike and I can match. Okay, okay. This is just an exercise in seeing if Mike and I can match. Okay, T. Um. Oh, man. I'm blanking.

Tank Girl. Okay. I went with the Babadook. A. Arthur. A girl walks home alone at night. Another T. Can you kind of sense how this is working? I see how it's going.

You see what's happening? The Crucible. Yes, but no. T. Mike. I think I only picked that because it was about New England. To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar. Yeah, I agree that that is somewhat of a horror film.

I went with The Exorcist. There's another I for you, Mike. I, Claudius. I think that was like a PBS miniseries. It was a film. It was a straight up just a two hour movie called I, Claudius. I love that Mike says it's a film. So you say, okay, I come in with In the Nick of Time.

No fucking way. You didn't approve of it. No, we're not going to take it. You didn't approve of it. Turns out it're not going to take it. You didn't approve of it. Turns out it was a TV movie. It was a TV movie. It was VOD. I don't even know.

All right. Wait, did you say aye yet? Yeah, I tried it. You said it didn't count. Oh, yeah, you're right, you're right. I just failed in front of you. You're right, you failed. I went with Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Oh, nice. The one from 1978. Okay, so let's try O. Oculus. That is the correct answer! Whoa! I knew we would get there eventually. That was so exciting.

And now for the whole panel, another N. Mike? Nightmare on Elm Street. Oh, that's a good one. But it's a nightmare on Elm Street. Just one? Night of the Living Dead that is weird that they had lots of sequels

that are just a nightmare what'd you say AJ? Night of the Living Dead that's what I wrote down it's magical I knew we would get there actually I didn't know we would get there. You really didn't.

This next game is called Last Man Stanton. No, it's not, Doug. It's called Let's Do a Fucking Line, Doug. Oh, shit! Also, for the record, you missed your great fucking in-name right there.

Why? National Lampoon's Animal House, motherfucker. Oh, yeah, no, we were doing all horror films because the invitation is kind of in that genre. What's up? You ever done a horror movie? You were in a movie? Yeah, horror movie.

You ever done one? Guys, anybody can do it. Anybody can fucking do it. Jay Larson's in a movie. You just really met him just now, and you're very insulting. No, I guess I met him 20 fucking years ago when he had an attitude problem.

Back when you were nobody then. So, yeah, anyone can do it. Yeah, I was nobody the day before I was born. That was it. You're lucky I'm still here, dude. Why? What happened happened donnie just texted me he had a cherry coke incident i don't know what the fuck that happened but i wrote back good job on using incident okay was it an owl creek bridge what's that or is that an occurrence anyway go ahead we're gonna we're to do a line again?

Yep. All right, I'm going to play this time. Good morning, Vietnam. Good morning, Vietnam. It is good morning, Vietnam. Where'd it go, Doug? Ow. Ow, that bracelet fucking.

Don't high five people with that hand, man. Don't you dare fucking press charges, dude. I won't. It does count as a blunt hand, man. Don't you dare fucking press charges, dude. I won't. It does count as a blunt object, though. You broke my shit. I'm not feeling good about myself. I haven't gotten a... We matched on Night of the Living Dead.

I loved that, actually. Yeah, and it's not... No, I'm excited to move forward. And you knew it wasn't the Night of the Living Dead. Of course, who would make that mistake? move forward and you know it wasn't done night of the living dead of course it would make that mistake all right so we're going to play last man stanton and the uh way this game works is uh we take turns we get an actor or actress name from a person in the crowd who's been uh pre-selected and then we take turns naming movies that that actor actress was was in. If you can't think of one, you're out.

So it's much harder than naming any movie that begins with a certain letter. So don't panic, you guys, because in this game, in each round, you do get a lifeline. Yeah, if it gets to you and you can't think of one, or if you just want help for any reason, you can use your lifeline once in each round.

And the person who falls out first in the first round, the next round gets to pick the actor. Oh, okay. So wait, you get to use the lifeline in every round? Yeah. Nice. Who's the lifeline? Good Lord. It's the person whose name tag you grabbed.

Kelly. You up for it, Kelly? Why not? Why not, he says. I'm here, might as well. That doesn't sound promising. It's tough, no matter... I mean, because we'll also probably have said a lot of names by that point,

so it'll be tough on him and on you. But the first name we're going to use, though, comes from an audience member. And there is a gentleman who tweeted me today who goes by Matt DeLuna, which I assume is his name. Where you at? Right here. Dope name, man. Sorry about that poll placement. You wrote to me today on Twitter.

Where are you from? Orange County? Fullerton? All right. Thanks for making the effort to come up here for the show. Was the traffic bad? Yes. Yeah.

So he did it. He made it. He's going to name an actor or actress. And Mike won that last game, so he's going to go first. And then we'll go to Jay Arden. Me, I play along. Okay. But I don't get a lifeline.

And also, if I win the round, I don't win anything. What is the name that you have chosen specifically for us today, Matt DeLuna? Mr. Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell. Oh, boy. Boy. Mike, start us off. Any Kurt Russell movie?

One of the greatest films of all time, Big Trouble in Little China. The movie I put my arm around, Karen Maduno, Overboard. Oh, I was going to do Overboard. I was going to do Overboard. Who doesn't want to open a mini golf course?

Yeah, that's a pretty good idea standing up to think about it. Okay. I think that he's not in this. Whoa, then don't say it. Can I convert? Can I convert? That's a lifeline. Let's do a couple Whoa, then don't say it. Can I confer? Let's do a couple things, Arden, for me. First of all, sit down.

Put the towel back. Okay. You get one lifeline during this round where we are naming one of the hundred films that had Kurt Russell in them usually in the title character role or a very big part and all you got to do is think of one but if you can't lifeline Kelly Kelly Kelly

Kelly he says escape from your Kelly. Escape from New York. He says escape from New York. Thank you, Kelly. I owe you one. It's not really going to be worth anything. All right. I'm going to go with escape from LA. Mike Lawrence?

I'm gonna go with John Carpenter's The Thing. Oh, I like that. Very nice. That movie is so good. I love it. I'm gonna go with The Hateful Eight. Really? That's it? Yeah! Yeah, that's fine. The Hateful Eight. Really? That's it? Yeah.

Yeah, that's fine. Whether or not they clap after you say a very obvious answer could go either way with this crowd. So you don't really have to beg for it each time. All right, Doug, I get it. I'll retroact. But if you're going for the Pete Holmes Award. Okay, Arden, we're back to you.

And now maybe something's jogged in your mind and you thought of another Kurt Russell movie. I'm going to go with the one that is not Kurt Russell, but is Jewel of the Nile. I'm confusing him with Catherine Tina Jones' husband. Michael Douglas? Yeah. Michael Douglas. What do I win?

I'm confusing the person I don't know with this other person I also don't know. I'm out, you guys. I'm out. I just had to touch Terry Crews, but I feel better. Sorry, Kelly. Wait, what movie did you say for Michael Douglas?

I said Jewel of the Nile. You even went to the like shitty sequel yeah what was it a sequel to it was the sequel it was another one with kathleen turner that was sexy and exciting and full of adventure and romance on the high seas is this a promo? I can't remember, but I saw it. Romancing the Stone. Romancing the Stone. Thursday night at 8 on the CW. That was like the adult Goonies.

That was like the adult Goonies. We're going to move on. You're talking in a comic book shop. Goonies is the adult Goonies. Everybody here. Recently somewhere, Sean Astin said that Goonies does not hold up, and that's why it's a great film.

It's an interesting way to put it. I like that. Yeah. Okay, so Arden is out. I've been out since the game started. I was out. But here's the thing. I'll give you something to think on while we sit here and name 30 more Kurt Russell movies.

Okay. You get to pick the name in the next round. Okay. So get real strategic with it. Okay. And pick somebody that you know all their movies. Okay, that's a good point. Thank you. Especially if you can think of someone that's only been in a it. Okay. And pick somebody that you know all their movies. Okay, that's a good point. Thank you.

Especially if you can think of someone that's only been in a handful, then you might be able to take it down. Thank you. All right. Good luck to you. Thank you. I'm going to go with used cars. Mike?

I'm going to go with death proof. Okay. And I'll just say it right now. Grindhouse is now officially off the table. That's not another film. We've already had that debate on the show. So I'm cutting it off at the pass. Jay? Tombstone.

Love that movie. Unprovoked. Now that's why I say it's unpredictable, because they were clapping for the movie Tombstone, not your ability to say the word tombstone. Well, which was my problem with The Hateful Eight. That's what I'm saying. Like, why would you not applaud that movie?

Because it's not very good. Well, it's just something that no one else has done in, like, what, 50 years, you know? No one else has done what? Thrown into mission in the middle of a movie. And that... That's your defense of it? That's a mark of quality?

They should have done it with Batman v. Superman, and I would have gone outside and smoked some weed and then not gone back in. You know what I liked about the Hateful Eight? They were considerate enough to let you use the bathroom. I like that a man did something different than everyone else. You know what's great about The Hateful Eight? There's a part of it where the movie's not happening. That's what I really love about that movie,

is it stops for a while. Whereas Batman v Superman stops for most of it. Glad I could give you guys content. Andy, start thinking. You know, in this crazy social media world, it's just nice to reflect sometimes. I'm going to go with the barefoot executive. See, nobody clapped because none of them

have seen it or care about it. Mike? Furious 7. Yes. I thought he died in that, but I guess he just got wounded. Because he's in Furious 8.

So now he's probably one of the greatest actors that's in two movies with eight in the title. Usually by the eighth installment, there's nobody good. Furious 7 was good. That was good. I cried.

Now, I hope because of Paul Walker... No, I just cried my way because I love stunts. Wait. When The Rock threw Jason Statham through that wall, I cried. In Furious 6, it looks like The Rock and Vin Diesel were going to kiss at a moment in time.

And I saw it at the Arclight, and in fact, the entire audience started going, kiss, kiss, kiss. and in fact the entire audience started going, kiss, kiss, kiss. When The Rock flexed his muscle and that cast broke, my heart mended. It was like the most beautiful thing in the world.

He's like, daddy's gotta work. That's like, come on screen. That's the most masculine thing I've ever seen in my life. It was so masculine it made you cum? Yeah. This is for you, Paul. All right, I'm going to go with

the strongest man in the world. Mike? I'm going to go with the kids' film Sky High. Oh, my God. I like that movie. It's really good. I didn't know it was for kids. Yeah. Great cast in that movie. It's really good. I didn't know it was for kids.

Great cast in that movie. Hell yeah. Jay. Yeah, I'm going to use my lifeline. Okay. Go to Andy. Andy, what do you got? The Computer War Tennis Shoes.

The Computer War Tennis Shoes. Do you think that's a movie, Jay? Come on, who hasn't seen The Computer War Tennis Shoes? Great movie. One of his best. Really sums up the 80s, you know what I mean? If you're looking into genre film. All right, well, let's finish out the Dexter Riley movies, as I like to refer to them,

because he played a character named Dexter Riley in them. Of course. Now you see him, now you don't. Shit, where he at? I believe that's an exact line of dialogue. Mike. Alright, this has been an emotional

game for me because almost every one of these movies I've watched with my stepdad because Kurt Russell is the stepdad to Jeff Bridges is your father I'm gonna go with the executive decision yeah you like that movie Steven Seagal he dies in the middle of it it's fucking amazing and he never comes back and the whole time stepdad's like, he's got to come back. I'm like, he got beheaded by the plane. He's like, no, but he's Steven Seagal.

He can survive anything. And he fucking doesn't, and it's awesome. Just a ponytail just flapping in the wind. Ah. Wait, do you get along with your stepfather or no? I'm not sure. Me either. We have a Batman v. Superman relationship.

Got it. We're angry all the time, but then we realize we love the same woman. That's true. That's pretty amazing. Is her name Martha? My mother's also named Martha. I love your Batman voice. It's my Vin Diesel voice.

I have no range. I thought it was pretty good. I'm a giant robot. All right. All right, Doug, what do you got? Huh? I meant Iron Giant. I'm an Iron Giant is what I meant to say.

But we're not doing Vin Diesel right now. Whose turn is it? Is it which way were we going? It's yours, I think. No? It's you? No. Does anyone know the genius of what's going on or what happened?

Are you asking me a question? We'll talk about it later. No, I think it's my turn. I'll step up this time. I've had this in the back of my head because I know it's not right, but I don't know anymore. There's a chance it could be, but I don't even know if I'm getting the title right. Let me just tell you before you say it, Jewel of the Nile is not the right answer.

Listen. But a fun movie. It was a very fun movie. And honestly, one of Emilio Estevez's most underranked performances. You know what I mean? He's so underranked. Underranked. It's like he wasn't even in the movie um Judge Dredd what I forgot who we were even playing when you said that well I don't know man I'm going to what I can do here no Kurt Russell's not in who was uh I'm not like showing

you up I'm interested first of all which version the Sylvester Stallone one or the Carl Urban one? Oh, Carl Urban. You know who I'm a big fan of? Johnny Suburban. And the rest of the panel sat silently. None of us have anything to add to that. I don't know what it was. It just felt like I was watching Rob Schneider

and Judge Dredd again. He was also in Demolition Man. He had like a brief career as a wacky sidekick in Surf Ninjas? Yeah. We're not doing Rob Schneider though. Is that who you're going to pick?

Grownups but not grownups too. Alright, here we go. I got to do a Kurt Russell movie and I're going to pick? Grown-ups, but not grown-ups, too. All right, here we go. I got to do a Kurt Russell movie, and I'm going to go with... Captain Ron. Nice. Remember there was a boat, you know? I think I need my lifeline. Oh, shit.

Stargate? Andy. I mean, who's your lifeline? Teresa? Teresa says Stargate. Yep. You going with it? Yes, I am. Stargate is correct. Nice work. And again, didn't get much applause because people don't like it or

James Spader, apparently. Or Egypt. All right. I'm gonna say I'm gonna go with Bone Tomahawk yeah because when you said earlier like that the Hateful Eight was the only movie that

whatever it was the thing about the intermission I thought you were leading up to that it was, the thing about the intermission. I thought you were leading up to that it was like a great Kurt Russell western. The best one since Tombstone. But I think Bone Tomahawk is. Yeah, shots fired. You got another one, Mike, or are you out?

I think I'm out. All right, we did it. You win that round, so you get one point. We're playing to two points. Wow. Wow. And I'll add Vanilla Sky for the hell of it. And then what else, you guys?

3,000 Miles to Graceland, Soldier. Poseidon. Tango and Cash, Poseidon. Breakdown. Breakdown. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, yeah, that was a goodon. Breakdown. Breakdown. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, yeah, that was a good one. Jonathan Mostow directed it.

Any more? Waterworld. I think we did pretty good. Waterworld? Waterworld. I'm glad he's not listening, because that'd be sad. Great film. What?

Huh? I mean, it's no Mailman, but come on. To Postman. To Postman, I know. Post's no mailman, but come on. It's a postman, I know. Postman. Mailman. Guys, you don't even know where I stand. What did you mean instead of Waterworld? I meant Poseidon.

Poseidon, which was already, was just said moments before you. I know how you feel. You just can't get Costner out of your head. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You say you've only seen seven movies, but you've done a good job. Thank you so...

You know what? It's nice of you to say that because I'm not getting the energy from the room like that. But I think it's really sweet of you to say that. I'm definitely not getting it from Doug. You are doing a good job, Jay, losing to Mike. And now Arden... Mike's a slayer over here.

What? Yeah, Mike's phenomenal. Mike's phenomenal. I am doing a good job losing. Okay so this next myself every morning so this next round Arden gets to select the actor or actress and then we'll go the opposite direction Jay you're up next what do you got? I'm going to go with one of my all-time favorites, and I'm still going to lose immediately. Wait, wait, wait a minute.

I can't. Why not pick someone? No, I think I have some, but I realize the depths of the levels of movies you got to. I feel like I like people that have done three movies, so I'm thinking of the person that I know the most movies and you'll still win but that's okay, I like this person

I have to have confidence, it's my time to shine and I'm putting out there John Cusack there was a gasp, was that a dumb move on my part? well as strategic moves go, I'm guessing like you already pointed out, that everyone else on the panel knows more John Cusack movies than you do. But, you know.

I enjoy him. He's a fun one. Yeah. I don't mind it. So you got to start us off. All right. I'll do Better Off Dead. Okay.

One clap on the shoulder. She couldn't even clap her hand. She clapped her date's shoulder like that. We really, like, it's... We gotta stop monitoring whether they're clapping or not. Okay, okay. Because people are hearing them not clap. Oh, you're right, you're right.

We don't need to point it out. Okay, okay. Okay. Jay. Say anything? I need you to give me an answer. Not just sit there going say anything correct thank you so much I don't even know I got another one locked and loaded but I can't think of the title I'll get there okay yeah I'll figure it out you

always got you always have Andy you can always go to your lifeline. No, I do. But Mike's got one. He is drawing a gross point blank. Yeah. Ooh, I like that. Maybe, might be my favorite John Cusack movie. It's really fun. Maybe, but there'll probably be another great one that comes up. He does all right.

He does all right for himself. I will go with... How about... High Fidelity. Good one. Good one. It's where we met a lot. Like Jack Black exploded into the world. I mean, you know me.

I like any movie that's got the word fidelity in it. I smoke a lot of pot. All right. I'm going to go with a movie that starred a young Daphne Zuniga from Melrose Place. I'm going to do The Shore Thing. That was a great movie. There's no bonus points for more information. I don't know.

It's the first time I've actually gotten a movie right, so there we go. It's my second time. Yeah. That's all right. Thank you. You picked the person. Believe me, I tried to head her down the road where she would pick some actress that we don't know shit about,

but she picked a dude who is probably everybody's favorite. Jay? I'm going to go with being John Malkovich. Oh. Close second to gross point blank, I think. Whenever I see a small door with a knob on it, I just go, that's John Cusack's office.

I'm going to go with the best worst movie of all time, Con Air. And also realizing saying Con Air into a microphone got more applause than any joke I've ever written. But I'm okay with it. That's a fun-ass movie.

Oh, it's the fucking best. It's a great cast of people all just going nuts. I mean, he's the most subtle in it, I guess. Yeah. And doesn't he just jump on a motorcycle and start chasing a plane at one point? Yeah. Yeah, what's he going to do? What's the plan?

He's like the ninth most interesting person in that movie and like number eight is Danny Trejo's tattoos. I'll go with a movie where he's the second most interesting person playing the same role

and that is Love and Mercy. Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna to go with Sixteen Candles. Mm-hmm. Yep, he's in there.

Great movie. Watched it at my sister's sleepover. Too bad. That movie would have been over in no time if the Instant Panties actually existed back then. I'm going to go with The Rock. Okay. Just tell us why you would think

that that would be an answer that would be correct. That's not The Rock? What's not The Rock? Sean Connery when they're trying to get into The Rock? That's not called The Rock? With Nicolas Cage? That was Nicolas Cage.

Ed Harris? Fuck, you know what? Con Air came up. I'm like, oh, he did that other movie just like it. You don't have to think about that other movie. Hugh, Zack, and Cage, what a team. What a team that had virtually no scenes together in Con Air.

Let's do it again. Yeah, I'm sorry. That's all right. Yeah. It was a good try. Sorry, Andy, sorry. That's alright. Sorry, Andy. I could have used you and I just thought, you know what, I have the confidence I'll use you later on. Like, I'll go to the pen later, but can't win them all. What are you going to do?

Serendipity? I like the way you say it. Thank you. Serendipity? It's my safe word. If I ever had to make a name tag for my own show, on it would be the poster for Must Love Dogs. And I'd sneak a you in there. I'm going to do Bullets

Over Broadway. Yeah! You're killing it, Arden. Oh my god, thank you! Thank you! It's back to you already, Mike. I fucking, I love this movie, Identity. It's so dumb, but it's fun. It's just, you know where it's going,

and you're glad it gets there. Finally. I should write taglines. Finally. Truth and advertising ploy. Okay, I'm going to say, and it's just the two of us right now. Oh, no, Arden's still in. I'm still in it. I apologize. Sorry. It's okay. It's all right. It's all right. I shouldn't have seen... And it's just the two of us right now. Oh no, Arden's still in. I'm still in it.

Apologize. Sorry. It's okay. It's all right. It's all right. I shouldn't have seen him. That's all right. I was hiding behind Terry Crews.

What? I was hiding behind Terry Crews. Oh, I got one. Hot Pursuit. Okay. Not the one with Reese Witherspoon and... I want a Pepsi. It's a... Prior to that, there was a movie called Hot Pursuit starring John Cusack. one with Reese Witherspoon. I want a Pepsi.

Prior to that, there was a movie called Hot Pursuit starring John Cusack. I have one that I think that I know, but I really want to stay in it, so I'm going to go to Kelly. Kelly says the Grifters. Angelica Houston, thank you, Kelly. And I have a backup

for the next one, so thank you. I love how you have extra information about every movie that comes up. But sometimes you just can't get that first part of it. I didn't get much sleep last night. I got like two hours of sleep. Must have been the Ambien. I flew in from...

Now she's making excuses Sam Levine style. Whenever he doesn't do well, he's like, I shouldn't have had that beer. Alright, what did you say? I forgot already. I said the grifter. Yeah, because Kelly said it. Good job.

Mike? All right. Teresa, you got to give me more than diabetes today. Need the lifeline. Eight men out. Eight men out you're going to go with? Yes the lifeline. Eight Men Out. Eight Men Out you're gonna go with? Yes, I am. That's correct.

Eight Men Out. Good jobber doodle. I'm gonna say... How about... There's so many more. The Raven. All right, I think this is John Cusack. I'm going to go with The Jury.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. It isn't? Nope, that was Alec Baldwin and Anne Heche and Demi Moore Go ahead What she thinks does not matter I am sitting here telling you that you are incorrect Oh my god, she looks afraid of you It's like a beaten child

She goes, no, no, don't look at me What was I? Hang on, this is how this game works When it gets to me, I'm going to say the correct title. You're right. Mike? God, there's... I just don't know the name of it,

so I'm going to concede again. Although, does that mean the show's over then? Am I killing the show if I get this right? What do you mean? Because then I'll have the two points, right? Well, you're not killing the show. That's how it's supposed to work. You're winning.

We need to have a winner. And by how everything's gone so far, it might as well be you. Okay. We're going by aggregate correct guesses. You're killing it. So go to the lifeline. Wait a minute. You can do more than one lifeline? Oh, you So, go to the lifeline. Wait a minute, you can do more than one lifeline? Oh, you've already been to your lifeline?

Yeah, last time. Wait, this round on John Cusack? Yes. Just one turn of go, Doug. Oh, I see what you're saying. Vanna White's like, yeah, Pat, don't you remember? Fucking. God, there's the one I'm thinking of where he's an art dealer.

This is not happening right now. He's not going to. I got one I'm thinking of, too. I like where he doesn't want to go out. I like it. It does happen a lot, though. People just start describing a movie, kind of hoping the title will come into their head. But I can't personally think of one

where he's an art dealer. No, no. He's with Hitler, and it's before Hitler becomes Hitler. And it's really terrible. And I'm the only person that saw it. And it's not paying off that I saw it right now. And it's really bothering me.

But that is a thing that happened. He has one arm. He's an art dealer. And he spreads it.'s gonna yell it out i'm gonna go behaving and uh oh yeah they'll yell it out at the very end i i think i know what you're talking about but i can't think of what it's called but what arden was talking about and what i will say to uh end this game. Can I guess? You want to guess the name of the movie that you got wrong the first try? No, you run a tight ship. I'm kind of fascinated

by this. I want to hear it. The verdict? No! It's called Runaway Jury. And I am the winner. But Mike came in second, And I am the winner. Hey, can I... But Mike came in second, so he's the winner today!

But what were you going to say, Jay? It's okay. It probably just made me look dumber. Just let's let it go. Does someone have the name of the Hitler movie?

Yeah, what's the Hitler movie called? Max. Max? Yeah, that's it. That is it. The dog movie's called Max. No, it is also called Max. He is absolutely correct.

Holy shit, Max. Yeah, he plays a one-armed art dealer that tries to buy Hitler's paintings. This was like before Hitler was Hitler. Yeah. Yeah, I remember this movie. They were friends before he had one arm. He was an art dealer. It was before V for Valk was Hitler. Yeah, I remember this movie. They were friends before he had won. He was an art dealer.

It was before V for Valkyrie. V for Valkyrie. The V for Valkyrie. The original title was World War One and a Half, but that was too goofy. World War One and a Half weeks. Congratulations to Teresa. You won the prizes.

Yes. Teresa. Yes. I'll give you the towel after. Actually, all in one bag this time, too. But be careful. Yes. It's heavy stuff.

It might split and fall everywhere. This is coming your way later. Oh, Jesus. Yep, have fun carrying around a wet rag all night. That's the second time Terry Crews has been in White Chicks. And that's how the episode ends, was like seven minutes of clapping. Pass your name tags down.

Name tags Arden and Jay. And we'll start with you, Arden. Do you have any stuff you'd like to plug? Any stuff coming up where people can come see you? Oh, I have a podcast on the Nerdist Network called Will You Accept This Rose? It's with me and Eddie Pepitone and Aaron Foley and we watch The Bachelor and The Bachelorette

every week and you can listen to it there. Thank you. Thank you. and listen to it there. Thank you. Is this shithead supposed to say owner and operator? Cause it's just own with an E. There's no R.

Owner and operator. And you'll hear later, you guys, but I have no idea why those words are even in the sentence. But thank you, Arden. Jay, what do you got besides the invitation in theaters now? Invitations and video on demand. You can watch it at home if you want to get out. Oh, watch it at home, yeah.

Cool up and get fucking scared. Do it. And then the Crab Feast podcast comes out every Tuesday. Thank you. Great storytelling podcast. And then May 20th, I'll be in Nashville at Zaney's. They're in the Wild West Comedy Festival, which is going to be...

You guys can't go to it, but people listening could go to it. Everyone can go to it. They just have to fly there. Can I add something? Sure. Who is this chick? I'm in the middle of my plug, bro! I thought you were done!

I thought you were done, Jake! Unbelievable! Is there any control? I thought you were done! I have to keep going first! I have to keep going first. I have to keep going first. I panic. It's kind of a tradition on this show that someone,

because again, they're comedians, has a plug after their turn to say plugs is over, which you can't do on a real talk show. You can't say, Conan, I'd like to come back from commercial and say some more plugs. But what is it, Arden? I'm going to be in a play that John Ross Bowie wrote

that's going to be here in July at the Bootleg Theater. It's called Hanukkah with Joey Ramone. It's about the Ramones and it's really fun. I play Linda Ramone. So you should come see that. That sounds cool, actually.

It's very cool. Definitely check that out. Yeah, it's very cool. All right, Jay, what else you got? It's not a big deal. I'll be in the next season of Twin Peaks. No big deal. Did you already shoot it?

Yeah. Okay. When and where does it appear? I can't tell you. It's on Netflix, isn't it? Is it really a secret? It is kind of a secret, but no. It'll be where, though?

You don't have to say a date. Showtime? Showtime. Okay, cool. Thank you, Jay. You're welcome. Mike, Lawrence. I have a podcast called Nerd of Mouth

on the Cave Comedy Radio Network. I have a Snapchat Comedy Central Discover series called You're Wrong, premiering sometime in May. And you can go to MikeLawrenceComedy.com for other dates and stuff. A Snapchat series? Yeah. So like each episode

is 30 seconds? They're 90 seconds. So it's like after you're done you're like, oh shit, that was like sitting through

three Snapchats. I'm exhausted. The show is I tell you why your pop culture opinions are wrong. Yeah, it'll be a lot of fun. That is fun. That is good. Can you give us an example of an opinion that's wrong? Or you can argue against any opinion?

Yeah, one of them is I argue why Keanu Reeves is a good actor. I'm not going to argue with you about that. But a lot of people do. I know. A lot of people. And, you know, when the new Point Break came out and they had the boring Australian guy, you realize how much you missed and needed Keanu Reeves. Yeah, not to mention Patrick Swayze.

When the first point break happened, it was directed by a director that was making great strides named Catherine Bigelow, and it starred two guys that we already knew Swayze and Keanu, and Gary Busey for that matter. And then when they reboot it, let's get two guys

nobody knows, or are kind of unknown, have they been in other things? Not really. I think one of them was in one of those movies about, you know, he's a rodeo guy and he gets cancer. I think what it's like... It sounds like I'm playing Last Man Stanton, trying to get an answer out of people.

Well, it's like they thought, it's like, what do people remember about the first point break? The stunt. No, we don't. Yeah. That was like a shadow just agreed with me. Yeah, and everything they did in the first one was extreme enough.

They didn't have to like, oh, let's make it more extreme. Yeah, big failure on that score. One more time for all of my guests, Arden Marine, Jay Larson, and Mike Lawrence. Enjoy your Terry Cruz cloth and I got one last plug I want to say Douglas Movies returns to the Wilbur Theater in Boston on May 28th. And as always... Zach Schneider is a shithead? It's like I won twice.

Okay, and then after this next, you guys were all, I kind of said, thanks for being here, like, wrapping it up, so your mics don't need to be near your faces anymore. That's so sweet of you. Because the end title comes in, the end title theme, as soon as I say this next one. Art Pope, owner and operator of North Carolina,

is a shithead. Thank you. China is a shithead.