Doug Loves Movies - Ben Kolina, Chad Opitz and Jenny Royal guest

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Live from the Punchline in San Francisco, Doug welcomes Ben Kolina, Chad Opitz and Jenny Royal to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Leonard! Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies.

Oh, it's so good to be back at the Punchline in San Francisco. San Francisco! And you may have noticed some cobwebs in here. It's not that this place is a dirty, dusty hellhole. It is Halloween decorations. It is the month of October, so I like to call all the episodes this month Doug Loves Scary Movies. We won't be talking exclusively about scary movies, but it

will come up a lot. And fortunately, talking about scary movies is generally not as scary as watching them. But it can still trigger some people. So good luck, everybody. Applaud if you've seen Terrifier 2.

Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. I keep hearing that that movie is more violent than Terrifier 1. Did anybody see Terrifier 1? Yeah? How do you feel about Terrifier 2? Are you terrified? I can't wait.

You can't wait? It's gnarly. It's supposed to be so violent that I don't think I'm going to see it. I think I'm going to pass on that one. Time for Doug plugs. I know. We just got started and I'm already doing some plugs.

But it's essential. Doug Loves Scary Movies is going to be at Dynasty Typewriter in LA next Saturday, October 22nd at 420. And Doug Loves Movies and Wide World of Dougs are both coming to the Houston festival known as Come and Take It Fest in Houston, Texas.

That's in November. For all my dates and deets and links, go to DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com. Yeah! Woo-hoo! Watch this. Shh, shh, shh. That's Douglovesmovies.com Yeah! Woo! What? Shh!

Ted Danson? That was great. Applaud if you've never been to a Doug Loves Movies taping before. Okay. So I just want to tell you there's no more of those things where you're going to sit there going,

why does everybody know this? Why is everybody saying these things? But also some of you applauded, maybe long-time listeners that are here for the first time, and I appreciate that. The prize bag is maybe one of the nicest bags I've ever put prizes into. It's, I mean, I don't know if any guy here is going to be excited about this,

but it's from a company called Sophia Joy. And it looks like wallpaper that Scarface would have. And it's very lush. But anyway, it's a nice little bag. And then it's also got some items inside that I brought. This thing is from a company called Peacemaker. It's called the commuter because it's everything you need to just turn a giant plastic cup into a bong.

Yeah, I mean, how often have you been somewhere with a giant plastic cup going, if I can make this into a bong, that would be pretty sweet. And then we got some pins from Rockin' Pins, the Douglas Movies pin, and the highly coveted Doug Benson pin, and then a little dinosaur that

I won at playing a carnival game. All of that, which is to say, this is a real easy one to throw away if you're not into it. Put this thing right in the garbage. But that's going to go to somebody here today.

And due to circumstances, I'm sad to say that one of my guests today, who is alive and well, but also cannot be here with us today, put me in a spot where this has happened a few times before. Last time it happened, I believe it was in San Diego, and we got a new regular guest on the show, David Sanborn, came out of that experience. What I'd like to do now, I've got two guests waiting in the wings, but what I'd like to do is bring up three audience members and have them compete in one game to determine which one of them will be a guest for the entire show today. So let's see.

Can you bring the house lights up a little, but not like that full brightness that happened before the show? Just a little bit. Okay. I don't know if it's changing. I don't know if it's changing or if I just need my glaucoma medication. But I can see everybody pretty well.

So raise your hands if you are interested in participating on stage today. This lady right here, what's your name? Me? Yeah. Farron. Farron? Yeah.

Okay, I'm going to get somebody with a name I'll remember. How about, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Farron? Okay, so, and you want to play? You're super into it? Okay. 100%. All right, who else?

Raise your hand if you want to possibly, oh, I mean, I gotta get sausage fingers. What's your name? My name's Jenny. Jenny's got sausage fingers on. That cannot be denied. And did anybody bring a really big poster today that wants to participate? Not the guy with Jenny. That doesn't count.

But I like it, though. Oh, look at this shit, everybody. Josh Feratu I mean we have to give him a shot right do you want to do it yeah he's into it so Josh Feran and Jenny come on up this is so exciting.

Have a seat, whichever seat you'd like. Yeah, we're going to use microphones and everything. All right. So Jenny's on the opposite end over there. Tell us the rest of your name, Jenny. My name? Yeah. My name is Jenny Royal.

Royal? Yes. Nice. Thank you. And you brought sausage fingers because you're a big everything everywhere all at once fan yeah definitely one of the best movies of the year i think you bought sausage figures over the internet from the a24 website my husband bought a24 fingers from the website that's awesome i always wondered who's buying them sausage figures

and then you've also got uh you got some googly eyes, too, and you've got one on your forehead there. I love that. The green room back there, there's a lot of the pictures of comedians that just have googly eyes on them now. I think they're just going to show up everywhere from now on. Everywhere, all at once.

All right, so I've already forgot your last name. Jenny Royal. Jenny Royal. Jenny Royal. Jenny Royal T. Okay, so Jenny Royal is player number one. And then the gentleman next to her is Josh. What's your last name, Josh? Hi, I'm Josh Bookbinder.

For reals? Shouldn't you be on Doug Love's books? Okay, Jenny Royal. Josh Bookbinder. Hit me with it, Farron. Farron Davis Bang. That feels like I just heard a short story how do you spell Farron F a r y n and you you always have the middle name in there it's two last names oh you're married name bang bang is your husband's name uh there? It's two last names. Oh, your married name? Bang.

Bang is your husband's name? Uh-huh, he's cool. He's here. Yeah. He better be cool. What's his first name? Michael. Michael Bang?

That's pretty awesome. Was he born a Bang? Yeah, surprisingly. Yeah. Took a Bang to make a Bang. Doesn't seem like a name I've ever heard before. I mean, I have a cousin named Joe Powell. He's Bookbinder.

Yeah, I know, right? I reacted to that one too, Farron. She's acting like I'm giving a hard time to Bang, but just left Bookbinder alone. That would be a hyphenated name right there for the ages. Bookbinder Bang. All right, so those are our three contestants. We'll learn a little bit more about one of them,

because one will be staying for the entire show. We're going to play a game to determine which one called Last Person Standing. Yeah. This is a game where, as the three of you probably know, since you are here and listeners, but for anybody that doesn't, the three of you are going to take turns naming movies

with a particular person I'm about to name in them. And when you can't think of one, you're out. No lifelines. Last person standing is our third guest today on the show. And we'll just go in the same order that I introduced everybody, starting with Jenny. same order that I introduced everybody, starting with Jenny. And the person I chose for today is the original Scream Queen, maybe not the first Scream Queen, but the one that's lasted the longest. She's screaming in theaters right now as we speak. Jamie Lee Curtis. Yeah. Love her. You don't have to say Jamie Lee Curtis horror movie specifically.

There's about eight of them to choose from. But you can also pick from her other many movies that she did. Jenny, start us off. Well, easiest for me would be Everything Everywhere All at Once. Right? We already mentioned it. And you remembered the whole title. So you're good to go. Josh? Halloween already mentioned it. And you remembered the whole title. So you're good to go.

Josh? Halloween. Of course. Let's go back to the very beginning. Halloween. I'm going to go A Fish Called Wanda. Very nice. Back to you, Jenny. Well, Jenny, it's been terrific.

Halloween, too? Yes! Okay, no more helping from the audience. Somebody yelled out, name the sequel! Or maybe that's just a drink here at the club that they were ordering. I'd like a sequel with extra tequila, please. Josh? Halloween ends.

That's right. We hope. We hope and pray. Farron? True Lies. Yes. I love when people cheer for the ones they like. If somebody mentions a bad movie she was in,

you don't have to, you can still cheer, I guess. Jenny? Halloween Resurrection? I don't think that's what it's called. But thanks for playing. Halloween H2O? That was one of them, but was she in it? I think.

Yeah, okay, all right. People are disagreeing about whether she was in it or not, but I'll let you stay. I feel like you're not going to be here too much longer anyway. That's how I generally run the show with my guests, is the ones that are going to lose anyway. I cut them a little slack. Josh?

Terror Train. Yes. Oh, you... Josh is going to show off and name all horror movies, probably. Farron? Freaky Friday.

Mm-hmm. I heard that she and Lindsay Lohan are up for a sequel. Wouldn't be a remake if they're in it, but they're up for a redo or a continuation or whatever it would be.

We'll see. Because that would be weird. An adult woman switching bodies with another adult woman. Kind of hurts the premise a little bit. Would the young Lindsay Lohan suddenly be eating Activia all the time? Whose turn is it?

Jenny. Oh, I gave you a little extra time to think. Trading Places? Yes! That's where she started being thought of as a comedic actress as well. So she's been able to do anything since. But Josh... No, that was it.

Oh, you don't have any more at all? Holy shit, Josh! I. Oh, okay. Oh, you don't have any more at all? Holy shit, Josh. I'm surprised, but thank you for participating. You may return to your giant name tag. Oh, wait, one more thing, Josh. You want to do a yo-yo thing real quick for the audience? Oh, you left a yo-yo at your seat. This dude got caught my eye before the show

because, as anybody does when they're waiting for a show to start, he was doing some amazing yo-yoing. Look at that. Yeah, see? Jenny and Farron would lose to you in a yo-yo contest. I like to give those visual treats to the people who come see this in person. The listeners are like, what the fuck was that? We could have all just been pretending that he had a yo-yo.

Farron? Yeah, totally.ron? Yeah. Totally. Totally? No. I think... I'm going to be out. No, you can do it. I think it's called

Halloween Forever. What? No. I don't think so. Someone help me. No, you can't ask them to help you. Jenny got help?

You're going to be a terrible guest on this show. Jenny got help? You're right. Jenny did get help. You really can't think of another Jamie Lee Curtis movie? Knives out. You're really going to let Jenny win this one?

She had white hair. Did I ask everybody to not do what you just went ahead and did? Jenny's the winner. Congratulations, Jenny. Nice try, Farron. Say hi to Mr. Bang for me. You did it, Jenny! I did it!

Yay! Go ahead and move to the center seat. And, yeah, I'm going to make some bookends with the other two gentlemen coming to the stage. Are you ready to meet the other two guests? Please give it up, everybody, for Ben Kalina and Chad Opitz. Hello. Hey, guys. Hi.

No, these. I'm talking to them. Hi. That was very polite of her, though. Yeah, yeah. Hi. Okay, hi. I better respond. Let's meet everybody in alphabetical by first name order.

Yeah, that's right. Yep. I'm on the spot now. First time guest, Ben Kalina guest ben kalina's here everybody hi thank you for having me yeah how's it going pretty good i had a pretty chill day yeah yeah i heard that you i when i say i heard this you said it out loud near me um that uh you know you're like oh i should see some movies to prepare for this. Yeah.

And tell everybody the movie you chose to get ready to play an adult trivia game. Minions Rise of Groove. Yeah. On mushrooms. It was delightful. Do you remember everything? Or is it more...

I mean... You just remember the experience. Just moments of brilliance you know yeah it's a little bit foggy but I remember a couple of really delightful things

that happened yeah and if you ever see it again you'd be like oh yeah that happened when I was on mushrooms

yeah it'll be like a journey through my past yeah yeah you can reminisce about that one specific mushroom situation and do you

is the mushrooms in movies, do those go hand in hand often, or was it really special? No, just generally they heighten my attention span. So I think that it does work with movies. Are you on mushrooms right now? No. Because I could really use a tight, focused

attention span. I really need you to concentrate up here. No, no, no. I might take my shirt off. It might be weird. I just imagine Ben sprinkling them in his popcorn. Yeah, makes the movie pop, you know? Sprinkling little mushrooms? Yeah.

Like you just break it up into little pieces and put it in your popcorn. Like M&M's. We'll get to you in a second, Chad, but first... Oh wait, you are next ladies and gentlemen he's been on the show many times and the first time

he was on he rolled right into my heart it's Chad Opitz hello I thought of you today because I watched on ESPN

they were showing corgi races oh my god yeah I've seen that body type before. I said, Chad could beat these corgis. That's right. In a race.

Put me in there. I'll fucking get it done. No, they're just so low to the ground, that's what made me think of you, because you're patented. You can only do it at the two punchlines. This punchline and the one in Sacramento have a stage where he can just run up to it and do a roll.

Has anybody seen it before when he's done it? Wow. Okay. Wow. But let's save it for when you win a game. Okay. We'll have you do it. I'll say victory lap, Chad.

Yeah, yeah. And then you'll run around and do a roll. I'll do a corgi-like roll. That sounds delightful. All right. Jenny, do you have any gymnastics moves that you could... Unfortunately, no, I do not. Break out tonight?

All you brought to the table was a big googly eye in the middle of your forehead. And enthusiasm. And enthusiasm. Let's hear it for Jenny Royal, everybody. So we're all just a bunch of goofy comics up here, Jenny. What do you do for a living? I am a dog groomer.

What? Whoa. Yes. All right. Well, I'm really glad that you stayed up here because I'm not that into yo-yos or banging, but I love dogs. Yes, me too.

So are you like a high-end dog groomer no oh so you're just i'm the lowest end lowest end all right but people bring your dog their dogs to you and you yes and you give them like a blowout and everything yep i wash dogs i trim their nails i express their anal glands i give them haircuts back up back up back up back's rewind a sec. Boop, boop, boop. You do what to their what? You express them? Mm-hmm. Because dogs need to learn to express their... Express them.

Their anal glands? That's just a way to, like, they'll poop better in the future? Well, if they get too backed up, it could cause medical issues. Yeah. So we like to help with that. That's so nice. That doesn't really fall under grooming to me. Like if it has shit in its hair,

that's one thing. But just going up in there to help them out with their movements, that's pretty nice. Dogs love it? They're not fans, generally. They pay extra. You don't see those dogs running into your shop excited to return?

I can't wait to have my glands expressed. It's a scrappy ending. Oh, so exciting. She puts on gloves and plays the song. Express yourself. A little disco lighting, the whole deal. Got us at the mood. Well, thank you, Jenny, for stepping in and participating.

And good luck today. Before we start playing games, though, I always like to chat about movies a little bit, get some recommendations from my guests. And since it is October, I'd like each of you, we'll start with you, Chad, because Ben's already looking around like he needs some time. Chad, please recommend a scary movie.

Recommend a scary movie. Any scary movie. It could just be scary to you. Today on my Twitter, somebody said, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is pretty scary, and I was like, you're right. I'll do a real weird one then. There's this 80s Canadian kids movie called The Peanut Butter Solution.

You know what I'm talking about? That terrified me. Yeah, like five people know exactly what you're talking about, and everyone else is like, no. It's supposed to be scary, but oh lord. I don't think we need a solution that involves peanut butter. Absolutely not. What happens in that movie? It's supposed to be scary, but oh, Lord. I don't think we need a solution that involves peanut butter. No, we don't.

Absolutely not. What happens in that movie? I mean, it's like a low-budget Canadian kids movie, but there's like ghosts, and a kid gets terrified by these ghosts that live in this house, and this air falls out, and the kids at school are making fun of them. It's needlessly terrifying for no real reason. It's a tonal thing for some reason. I'm not sure why it terrifies me, but it just gets me.

And that's like how you get rid of ghosts is with peanut butter? I don't know. You put peanut butter on your bald head and your hair grows. What does that have to do with this story? That's what he does in the movie. He puts peanut butter on his bald head and his hair grows back. It grows too much, like your hair, Doug. I should not have put that peanut butter on my

head. Damn. It's really gone out of hand. Alright, the peanut butter solution. I really thought I was about to learn what that movie's about but I don't think I do know. I still don't know what it's about. I like the I thought you might

it's not scary but I thought you were leading into saying the Peanut Butter Falcon. Oh, shit. Which is a terrific movie. It is good. Yeah. So you just, if it's got peanut butter in it,

you love it. That's true. What about chocolate? Do you hate it when chocolate gets in your peanut butter? Keep them apart. All right. Jenny,

do you have a scary movie that you could recommend to us? Well, there's this one really weird Japanese scary movie from, I think, the 80s or the 70s called House. Yeah, it's just crazy. The same guy claps for everything. Peanut butter. He knows the obscure stuff.

Yeah, he likes peanut butter. He likes the housing market. That movie's good. Just called House. Yeah. Yeah, I think they even made a house, too. Ooh. Yeah, if I'm not mistaken. Oh, you're thinking of a different movie. Oh, I think they even made a house, too. Ooh. Yeah, if I'm not mistaken.

Oh, you're thinking of a different movie. Oh, I'm thinking of a different house? Yeah, that's the 80s. Like on another block? You're talking about the 70s, like Japanese one, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, Japanese. But our house wasn't a remake of a Japanese house.

No. It was just an original house. Different housing market. And then they made a house, too. They did. Yeah, but I liked that first house. It was kind of fun. But this sounds like the one you're talking about is downright terrifying.

Well, it's not so terrifying as super weird and crazy. I guess this director listened to all the stories or listened to his daughter and his daughter's friends and the scary stories they would tell. And then he based a movie about them. And there's just just crazy visuals a piano eating a girl just really really weird yeah it's real nutty yeah very a dude turns into bananas at one point what part of the what part of the piano is its mouth is like the keys open up i think the lid part. Oh, okay. Yeah, Ben and I have no idea about this movie House.

But yeah, I will. I mean, I'm more of a fan of the Hugh Laurie TV series. That's my favorite house. But I haven't checked out this Japanese house. Ben, are you ready? I'm ready. I had some time to think about it. I'm prepared. out this Japanese house. Dan, are you ready? I'm ready. I had some time to think about it. I'm prepared.

Normally, I like documentaries. Those can be pretty scary. But non-traditional scary movie, for me as a kid, I was really afraid of puppets. And The Dark Crystal, I didn't sleep right for weeks. I was afraid of David Bowie for a long time after that. That's Labyrinth. Oh, shit, yeah.

Isn't he supposed to be like a more friendly character in that? Yeah, it's supposed to be, but I didn't like it when I was a kid. That's Labyrinth. No, it was both of them, actually. I just forgot it was two different movies. He was on Mushrooms. Got him some slack. Yeah, it was both of them. I watched them back to back.

I was horrified for weeks. Wait, but yeah, he's not in Dark Crystal, though. No. But it has the same look and feel, but just without Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie. Yeah. I have fever dreams about both of those movies sometimes. But I really did accept Dark Crystal as a David Bowie movie when you were saying that. It feels right, right?

Yeah. I thought Dark Crystal was a David Bowie movie when you were saying that. It feels right, right? Yeah. They should have put some Labyrinth footage in that Moon Age Daydream, the Bowie movie. It would have been fun to have. There are scenes of him in movies, though. Maybe Labyrinth is in there.

Shit like that and fucking Bulge in IMAX. Holy shit. Yeah, right? Coming at you in IMAX. Woof. All right. So what'd you say? Me?

Yeah. Labyrinth slash the Dark Crystal. I've said them both. I think Jim Henson was involved in both of them. Yeah. He's very heavily involved in my nightmares now, too. I wonder if that is that even fair for me to say that your choice is Labyrinth

slash Dark Crystal? Yeah, it's a double feature I guess. I think everybody loves one of those at least. I hate them both. We'll work that out later.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what therapy is for. True. To discuss the movies that ruined your life when you were a child. Well, great recommendations, everybody. I mean, I'm guessing.

I haven't even seen two of these. But I might. Probably not, but I might. Peanut Butter Solution, I think I really will. I think I am interested in checking that out yeah house we'll see uh but we'll also see what's going to happen with my three guests when they compete in some games after these messages we'll be right back let's continue. We're back!

Woo! During the break, we selected some people to be played for today. And so we've got Ben is playing for Here's Wani.

We'll call him Juan because I just assumed the last part just said Juan on his poster, but it's a beautiful likeness of Jack Nicholson busting through the door. Chad went with a gentleman named Sherman brought a box of crispy creams and which we always appreciate and I never eat any of them I always I always re-gift them you're throwing them out to people and

who'd I leave out Jenny Jenny picked Josh our friend that was up here earlier Josh Ferratu all right Sherman Josh our friend that was up here earlier. Josh Ferratu. All right, Sherman, Josh, and Juan. Here we go. I've got three games for us to play,

and the first one is called Live, Die, Repeat. Yeah, give a little golf applause for that. Here's how this game works. Ben, I'm going to say the title of a movie out loud slowly. The first person on this stage who can repeat

back the title completely and correctly wins the game. Got it. I'm ready. That instruction usually confuses people. They're like that's it? That's the game? And I'm like yes that's the game. So thank you Ben for just getting it. Thank you. Good try. You get me. Thank you. Well you. You get me. I think you are on mushrooms right now. Alright.

Just the people on stage. No audience guesses, please. I need my reading glasses. Got some Kit Kats, some Reese's, some Twizzlers. It's like all my favorites. They're just sitting there in front of me. I'm high as shit looking at this candy. So not cool.

Here we go. Abbott and Costello meet the Incorrect. Abbott and Costello meet the mummy? Abbott and Costello meet the mummy Abbott and Costello Meet

The president The Abbott and Costello Abbott and Costello meet the Frankenstein monster What did Jenny say Meet the Frankenstein monster Abbott and Costello Meet

The Abbott and Costello meet the... Abbott and Costello meet the creature from the Black Lagoon. Abbott and Costello meet the Fockers. There we go. Abbott and Costello meet the parents. Abbott and Costello

meet... Getting them out of order now. Meet the little Fockers. Abbott and Costello meet getting them out of order now meet the little fuckers Abbott and Costello meet the killer

Abbott and Costello meet the killer Jack the Ripper Abbott and Costello meet the killer Boris

Abbott and Costello meet the killer Boris Eben and Costello Meet the Killer Boris Karloff That is correct Yay Jenny Would you like some candy? Oh no It's all for you Doug

All for you I don't want it I don't want all that candy I got all these Krispy Kremes over here You could combine them. Okay. You want a crispy cream?

Do you? I just want someone close because then I'll definitely I'll definitely won't miss. Who wants it that's up close? Close. Here you go. Ready? Yeah. Perfect. These are great too because there's no touching

this fucking donut without getting sticky hands so it's like I get sticky hands and you get sticky hands and we all have sticky hands I don't know if this liquid death is gonna

I don't know if that's gonna help but Jenny gets to go first in our next game yeah because she did it and this one I've been having a lot of fun with this game it's called the little search engine that could

i typed a word into the search engine on the internet movie database website app whatever it is and wrote down the top 10 movies according to the basically it's like a popularity algorithm at IMDB

so it's you know movies that have been searched recently but I wrote down 10 of them, and I'm going to tell you the word, and then the three of you are going to take turns. You each get three guesses. There's three rounds where you each get to guess a title,

and if it's on the list, you get points based on how high the list is sitting. Like if it's number one, you get ten points. Number ten, you get one point. One point. And then there's everything in between. Yeah. Yeah.

Jenny's going to go first. Then we'll go to Ben. Then we'll go to Chad. The word, Jenny, is horror. Ooh. Yeah, so name a movie. Again, just people on stage, name a movie, just Jenny actually, that has the word horror in it,

and we'll see if it is in the top ten most popular titles right as of this morning. Rocky Horror Picture Show? Now see, now see to me yeah there you go a little little applause for that uh i was uh delightfully surprised when i saw that that while not being a flat-out horror movie did come in in first place on the list. It's almost like I set up Ben and Chad today. Now Jenny is out of the gate with 10 points for that one, but there's still lots of points left on the board ben uh what do you think

oh crap um horrible bosses that's not the word horrible i mean horror it's the word horrible horrible bosses i thought it would yeah let's go ahead and give you since you said a title that just flat out does not have horror in it. Yeah, I blew the assignment. I'll let you go ahead and do another one. Oh, man. Yeah. It's not easy.

Oh, yeah. There's been a lot of movies with horror in the title, but... I don't think I've seen any of them, though. Yeah. Yeah. So just come up with an expression and have the word horror in there. Horror of not knowing what I'm doing right now. I don't know.

Shit. Horror. You know what I mean? Just say like horror castle or something. Yeah, that's the one. I'm actually going to go with horror moat around the horror castle. That sounds good.

That would have been hilarious if i was tricking you and horror castle is on the list but it is not and neither is horror moat well yeah i guess if the castle wasn't but thank you for trying it should be ben and you might think now it'll come back to you in a little bit so think well think well it's not your turn because you might you might something might come to you all right chad what do you got for horror um i'm gonna while it's not your turn because something might come to you. All right, Chad, what do you got for horror? I'm going to go, it's got my boy Rick Moranis in it, Little Shop of Horrors. Oh, yeah. That should totally be on this list but isn't.

Those bastards. Yeah, that's a good one. I can't believe it. All right. Well, sorry, Chad. Let's go back to Jenny. You could just add some more points to your already huge total. You've got a 10-point lead over everybody at this point.

Well, I'm pretty tapped out, but I will just guess Horror House. Horror House. Let me look. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Oh, number eight, Horror House.

Woo! Holy shit. That's ridiculous. Three more points for Jenny. For Horror House. Ben, see how easy it is? It looks very easy. Yeah.

I'm going to say that maybe there's a movie somewhere called Horror Show. There probably is. I don't see why not. Don't see it on this list. But yeah, that would have been fun. Yeah. Another goose egg for Ben. Chad?

I'm going to say Horror Hotel. Oh, that's fun. There was Motel Hell. Obviously doesn't have horror in it, though. Let's see. Horror Hotel? Nobody's checking into the Horror Hotel. Oh, man.

Sorry, Chad. It's okay. Jenny? Pit of Horror? Whoa. Pit of horror. That's pretty cool. That's a fun guess.

But unfortunately, I don't see pit of horror. But yeah, that was really good. You have a total of 13. No one can beat you at this point. It's an impossibility. Ben, it's your turn. Let's put some points on the board, Ben. Horror bathroom.

Yeah. You'd think they'd go a little bit more crass than bathroom. It's just like a really awful bathroom. Like horror sitting area. Yeah. Horror corridor. There's no way I'm not watching that movie.

Yeah. Let's write it tonight. Yeah, dude. I mean, you know, every bathroom's a horror bathroom if you're living life right. Okay. Chad,

just for fun, let's pick something off of this list. Just say something that's on here. Just get some points just for the heck of it. Hold your head up high. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Horror. Oh, yeah. It was a chamber of secrets secrets but the secrets were horrifying

ultimately so you're not too far off to be honest with you alright well that's that's that game congratulations Jenny Jenny is running away with this

shit do you want to throw a donut, Jenny? Sure. Let's hook her up with a donut, Chad. Just lift the lid up and grab one for her so we all get sticky fingers. It's good to pass that around. Who wants one? Oh my god, way over there.

Good luck, Jenny. Oh yeah! Right in his hands. And then given it's been passed around the table, everyone's going to enjoy it. I told you these would be better seats than... They were sitting over there before. Who'd throw donuts at those people?

Nobody. All right. Let's find out which titles are on the list that they didn't get. I'm sure everybody out in the audience has one that they've been thinking of, and certainly the listeners are also being driven crazy by this. But I get messages from people all the time, why didn't you say? But this is interesting because I don't know most of these movies that made the cut.

Number 10 is a movie called The Dunwich Horror. Have you heard of that, Chad? Based on Lovecraft. I've heard of it. H.P. Lovecraft? Mm-hmm. There you go. All right, Jenny.

So that's real. Yeah, Jenny, give us a piece of trivia about each one of these. Tell us everything that Ben and Chad don't know. Coming in at number nine is a movie called Horror Noir. Oh, you don't know what it is. We got an oh in the back of the room. Jenny, do you know that one? No idea.

Yeah, apparently it stars Peter Stormare, who is a scary actor. So that might be worth checking out. Number eight was Horror House. Number seven, Jenny, this one broke my heart. You would have had an even higher score if you'd have said bloody pit of horror. Oh, shit. You were that close. It just needed to be bloody.

I'm just looking at it going, oh, Jenny, why can't it be bloody? Why is it just a pit? Because a pit would be scary. Like, I don't want to be in a pit. Oh. But a bloody pit?

Wait, am I terrified? Is it being described by an Englishman? What about a... Is it just like, oh, that's a bloody pit is it being described by an englishman what about is it just like oh that's a bloody pit over there or does it or is it full of blood that's the prequel to horror bathroom is it my blood in the pit once i'm in the pit or is it somebody else's blood that was a previous pit resident that's even grosser yeah i don't fucking know here's another one i'd never heard of before but it sounds pretty cool horror in the high desert wow i mean every desert i go to is a high desert but that's not the point here's where i'm surprised at no one giving the next answer because two different movies have had the same name

and they're both on this list and if any of you had said it you would have gotten points twice can I guess it please horror high no damn they've made horror high twice I don't know oh I'm starting to not like Jenny.

It's the high school where a horror bathroom takes place. I really thought you were just going to say it, though. It's the Amityville Horror. Oh, god damn it. God damn it. Raise your hand if you thought of that one. Yeah, see, lots of people thought of it. Amityville Horror was the first one that came to my mind when I was typing in horror.

And yeah, number three and number four from 79 and 2005. Yeah, James Brolin or Ryan Reynolds. Pick your poison. And then number two is called Horror of Dracula. Yeah. I don't know how that's number two. I don't know why so many people are looking up Horror of Dracula. Other than there's two movies here that have Christopher Lee in them.

Horror. Oh, I forgot one. I didn't say number six. Number six is called Horror Express. I forgot one. I didn't say number six. Number six is called Horror Express. That's why I was like, hey, try Horror Castle or Horror, you know, anything.

Just because Horror Express is on there. Crazy. All right. So congratulations to Jenny. Won another game. And we are going to go to our second commercial break. And when we get back, what happened? I got left hanging.

I went for the fist bump. Oh, you went to fist bump. There we go. Jenny with the non-reciprocal fist bump. Peripheral vision. Poor Ben over there. Such a good sport. And then she just leaves you hanging. But so funny.

And so much fun we will be back with our big final game that determines our winner today after this break we'll be right back that's right she just goes jenny we're back yay having so much fun at the punchline, making great donut tosses. Ben, you haven't tossed one yet, have you? No, I haven't. Here, go ahead.

Let's get Ben. Let's throw one, dude. Let's get Ben to toss a donut to somebody in the audience. He's a good baseball player, so it's going to come in hot. Who wants it? Right here? She doesn't have her hands up, though. He's going to throw it overhand.

He's just asking me to throw a donut at his wife. He's throwing it overhand. Really fucking nail it. There we go. Okay. There we go. Okay. There we go. Yay. That was beautiful.

You got that pitcher's arm, dude. That's a second base flip. That's the double play flip. Nice. I usually have movie nerds on the show, so we just like to pretend we can throw things. And we don't know the expressions and the types of throws. But there was a guy who used to come to shows in Chicago,

and he'd sit in the front row with a shirt that had a target on it. And he was just like, yeah, hit me. And I would throw it as hard as I could, right into that guy's chest from like two feet away. And that man died. It's very satisfying. And now that she's back, here we go. We're waiting on you.

Welcome back. Oh, I like that there's commercial breaks that people can run to the restroom during. All right, didn't miss anything. This game is called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? I say a tagline from a motion picture and then Jenny gets to go first again and then Chad and then Ben

and Jenny gets first crack at the first tagline. It's a real tagline that was used in some sort of trailer or poster commercials somewhere to promote the movie. Jenny gets his first. If she doesn't get it, Chad gets a shot at it. Or Ben gets a shot at it. Wait, what did I say before? Your third, yeah. Ben gets a shot.

And then he misses. Chad gets a shot. All. Wait, what did I say before? Your third, yeah. Ben gets a shot. And then, if he misses, Chad gets a shot. If all three of them miss, I will announce the title and we'll move on to the next one. Person with the most

correct answers by the end is our winner today. And the prize bag will go either to Sherman with the donuts or who else? Who are the other two?

Like I won in the back? Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh.

Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh.

Josh. Josh. Josh. Oh, that's right. That's why I forgot because he's been he's been playing several levels today. He's been he's been very involved. And then the third one is here's

Juan there he is over there did Sherman and Juan come together your brothers that doesn't seem fair too late now though wow that's a real one two the fucking donuts and a joint good good job brothers uh all right whose tagline is it anyway let's do this jenny gets to go first

jenny what movie do you think had the tagline, Yipes! Not yikes. Yipes. With a P. Yipes. These killer dillers are out to get the king of the killers. Yipes. These killer dillers

are out to get the king of the killers what do you think what movie do you think that is jenny um no idea attack of the killer tomatoes it's just as good a guess as any but that's not it ben is it the veggie tales movie oh now i get it. You just do mushrooms and watch animated stuff. Even if it's religious. Have you ever seen a VeggieTales production? No, I just figured that the king of the killers would be the devil, you know?

So it might be the VeggieTales. That's a good solid reason. That does make sense. Is there a devil character Dilpon with the well there's a pickle in the Veggie Tales

so I was thinking that yeah too oh the pickle's the bad guy well cause there's Dil I don't know what other movies feature Dil prominent Killer Diller oh

you were going on the Dil part yeah yeah yeah I don't know that Killer it's Killer Dillers with a dash in between killer.

Like it's one word, killer dillers. So I don't know what's going on there, Chad. Can you make, it's not VeggieTales. I guess I should have said that. Incorrect. Okay, considering the goofiness of it and the fact that it got brought up earlier, I'm going to say Abbott and Costello

meet the killer Boris Karloff. That is correct. So it had nothing to do with Dil. That is a good time to leave, I think, right there. That's a good moment to just jump up and get the hell out of here. Jenny didn't get the point, I'm out. Yeah.

Yeah, I think you're right. Victory roll! I think they're right. I think they're right because I don't think you're going to win the whole game today. Let's go, Jenny. I think you got that one,

but here comes the victory roll. I'm going to also throw a donut at him as he does the roll. Oh, my God. It takes a while to get around. Wow. Amazing. Here, Chad, throw a donut.

Or eat it. Whichever you prefer. Okay, this is safer. Oh, yay. Go for that guy at the bar, Chad. I like him. Show us the arm. I'm sorry.

Oh, next time, guy at the bar. Is it a guy? Yeah. All right. No, it was not a guy. I don't think that's a guy. Hey, how's it going? I'm confused.

All right. Great job, Chad. You're on the board with one point. Yeah. And Jenny gets to go first again. Ready, Jenny? Sure. What movie had the tagline,

As private eyes, they're getting an eyeful. As private eyes, they're getting an eyeful. So they're really having fun with the wordplay here. Don't say anything in the audience. I was thinking the same thing. Of what somebody said in the audience?

Yeah, I was thinking private eyes, but I'm like, how is an Eiffel? I'm thinking Eiffel might be a pun. But for like Eiffel Tower. Oh, I see. But I couldn't think. But someone in the audience said, what'd you say? Private Eyes.

Private Eyes. I'll stick with that. Okay, incorrect. Yeah. See, that's what happens. Audience turns out to be the opposite of help. So please don't say answers anymore today. Thank you.

I have to ask every show now, but that's how it is, I guess. Like I said, drunk plus high plus trivia. It's like when you play pub trivia. There's always somebody that has to say it loud enough for everybody to hear right yeah just to be like I knew it then I'll say it for you again okay here we go as private eyes they're getting an eyeful. Starsky and Hutch, they're detectives. I mean, it's a terrible tagline for whatever movie it's for.

That would be pretty amazing for Starsky and Hutch to have that tagline. Trying to think of something in the vein of horny detectives. Are getting an eyeful. Private dicks is more like it. All right, private eyes. They're getting an eyeful. Chad? Abb and Costello meet Hall and Oates. I'll say stakeout.

Wait, which one is your answer? Stakeout. Wait, which one is your answer? Stakeout. Why stakeout? The movie cover had Richard Dreyfuss and Emilio Estevez leering at a naked lady. And their private eyes. They're getting a private eyeful. They're getting an eyeful.

Oh, shit. You know how else this would be a good tagline? Or not a good tagline, but what it would be appropriate for? Abbott and Costello meet the invisible man but how are they getting so close though I don't know I don't know why they're getting an

eyeful of an invisible man yeah it doesn't make any sense I don't know the tagline writing was not good when that movie came out yeah but Chad's got one yeah writing was not good when that movie came out. But Chad's got one. Yeah.

He could take this thing. No. Jenny, you're up first. The laughs are twice as monstrous as ever before. Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein? No. Super good guess.

Ben? Monsters 2. The sequel to Monsters? Yeah, yeah. What was Monsters? The Monsters, Inc. Oh. Yeah, that's what it is.

So you mean so you mean monsters university that's monsters university yes as i am a fan of all of the animated movies that are fun on mushrooms that would be a fun one on mushrooms but that is not the answer chad the laughs are twice as monstrous as before the laughs are twice twice as in all caps as monstrous as before. The laughs are twice, twice as in all caps, as monstrous as ever before. As ever before. Yeah. What the hell? Do you want to guess Stakeout 2?

Yeah, I do. Another stakeout. Oh, yeah, that's what it was called. It got pretty clever with the sequel title sometimes, using another 48 hours or another stakeout another one of these shitty movies well the theme Abbott and Costello

meet Dracula no I don't know what could be you're so close but we're looking for twice as monstrous. So Abbott and Costello

meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Oh! Look at those two. But one of them's not monstrous. So these taglines are so bad. They really don't know what they were doing with taglines back

during those taglines. Jenny, it's your chance to tie it up with Chad. What? She got like 13 points. You know, that's unfortunately how this game works. She won those first two games, but it only puts her in the pole position for the next game. And you've got gotta win this one to win it all.

Chad. Wait, isn't it Jenny? No, I just was saying hi. Oh, hi. Jenny. Just checking in with you. You feel good after that roll? Yeah. Yeah. It was impressive. Yeah. Chad Opitz, the human donut.

That sounds good. And the O in Opitz could be a donut in all of your publicity materials. All right, here we go. Jenny, more howls than you can shake a shiver at. More howls than you can shake a shiver at? Abbott and Costello meet the Wolfman? No. Ben?

That was my guess. I don't really know. Who knew Jim Abbott and Elvis Costello made so many movies together? Jim Abbott. Old Jim Abbott and Elvis Costello made so many movies together? Jim Abbott. Old Jim Abbott. Bud Abbott. Bud Abbott, not Jim.

Well, he's a one-armed pitcher from the 80s. Jim Abbott? Yeah, he pitched a no-hitter with one arm. I'd love to... I hope he uses the arm that he has oh yeah that would be impressive yeah it's like jazz when he uses the arm that he doesn't have yeah um okay so uh bud abbott and lou costello are their their full names but anyway what's your answer and they're not meeting the wolfman but they're probably meeting someone who howls.

Are they meeting Wolfman Jack, the DJ? That's not a terrible guess. Wolfman Jack was, you know, probably not popular until 20 or 30 years later, but incorrect. Chad? Oh, God. You could really run away with this thing if you get this one.

I don't know. The Wolfman one seems so obvious. Let's see. Abba and Costello meet. The Werewolf. Not the Werewolfman. Wait, isn't that what Jenny said? No, the Wolfman.

Oh, I see. Oh, I see what you're saying. Maybe it was just she used the wrong words. Yeah. I can't think of anything else. The werewolf instead of wolf man? Is that what you want to go with? Yeah.

You sure? Yeah. Are you truly sure? Yeah. That's a good idea, audience member. Are you truly sure? Abbot and Costello meet the werewolf. Lon Chaney.

Oh, like with the Boris Karloff one. Yeah. Add his name at the end. Yeah. No, incorrect. This is so fucked up. More howls than you can shake a shiver at is Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein. What?

Frankenstein does not howl. He groans. It turns out, and if you read about the movie a little bit, this one has Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolfman. And so they decided to throw the Wolfman a bone in the

tagline. Isn't that crazy? Talk about burying the lead. Yeah, that's insane. Well, I mean, nobody saw this ending coming, but with merely one point in this game,

Chad Opitz is our winner today! Hey. I'm as is our winner today. Oh my, hey. I'm as disappointed as you are. Okay. Victory donut throw. Victory donut throw. On the way back. Oh, at the bar.

Oh, what the fuck? Oh, wow. Yeah, he got it. That makes no sense. Yeah, I got it! That makes no sense. Wow. He straight up threw it at somebody way down the bar. But I got the other bar person. That's what I'm saying.

Like, you were aiming for her, and you hit that guy way over there. And they're the only options. That is amazing. But she still needs a donut Jenny, you think you can get one to her? I doubt it You can do it, come on We got Ben on deck though Come on Jenny

Here we go Jenny Oh nice Two people had to duck That was a vicious line Now people are just looking at the floor like, hmm, okay. You want to give a shot, Ben? It's been down there for a little bit now. I don't think so.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll take a shot. Yeah, Ben, you can do this. You can do this. I'm saving one more donut, and I'll do it if you don't. All right, where are we going? Okay, we're going right back here. There it is.

Here we go. It's going to have to be sidearm because we've got a low ceiling. Yeah, yeah, you got this. Don't hit the lights. Oh, close. Yeah. Close enough. got this. Don't hit the lights. Close. Close enough. Close enough.

Put some spin on it. Yeah. Close enough. Good job. All right, Chad Opitz, what have you got to plug? What are you going to promote today? I'm going to be at Altercation Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas next week doing some shows. Nice.

Yeah. Be fun. And what are your socials? At Shadow Pits on all this, you know. Oh, okay. Not at Donut Man. Yeah, Donut Man. At Abbot and Costello meet Frankenstein. Roley Donut Man.

Well, congratulations. We'll have you back on the show real soon as a champion. And you must be feeling like a real hollow victory right now. It is. It really is. She had like 80 points. It was all going Jenny's way. And then Chad happened.

Just like a donut. Yeah. That's what happens. But Jenny Royal, do you want to plug your dog grooming situation? Like, can anybody bring you a dog or is it private? I would just want to plug that everyone should brush their dog before bringing it to your groomer so that the groomer has less work to do. That was beautiful. Hey, listen, could you also completely groom your dog before bringing it to me?

Because I'm a groomer, but seriously, that word's getting a little weird lately. People don't like that word as much anymore. So just do it at home. But no, that is a good point. It is kind of like, you know, don't bring the dog in just because it's going to be hard to groom. You know what I mean? Don't wait until the dog's hair is like you know full of full of shit you can't exactly yeah don't bring the dog in the day after it gets attacked by a skunk and be like hey while you're grooming and massaging its bowels can you also get rid of this horrible smell. Hey, as a dog groomer, do you have any tips for skunky dogs?

Wash it as soon as you can. That's it, right? Basically, yeah. Just wash it. Yeah. Okay. And then you're kind of stuck with the smell for a while. Yeah, yeah.

Wash me outside. That's what the dog says. It reminds me of that movie, Admin Costello expressed the Wolfman's anal glands. That is a scary movie. That one is weird. It doesn't fit in the series.

They usually are meeting something. What's the tagline for that one? More howls than your anal glands can express. Otherworldly howls will occur. Something about Dracula. Right?

I had in case there was a tiebreaker situation in that last game, I had a tiebreaker ready to go. The joke being that it's painfully obvious what the answer is. So let's just give Jenny one more

endorphin rush for being better at this than you guys. But all of you guess. Let's see who comes up with it first. This is the worst. What movie had the tagline, it has been said that a man's best friend is his mummy? Abbott and Costello meet the mummy?

That is correct. There we go. You did it. Yay, Jenny. Hey, Benny. Does anybody call you Benny? My grandma, yeah. Yeah? Benny. Does anybody call you Benny? My grandma, yeah. Yeah?

Yeah. That's cute. Ben's short for Benjamin, though? Yeah, yeah. That's when I'm in trouble. Yeah, right. Douglas is the same way. Chadifer.

Chadifer. When his parents say Chadifer, he's like, I'm fucking grounded. Oh, no. Chadwick. Yeah, well, it's just Chad, right? It's just Chad. Yeah, yeah. Most Ch It's just Chad, right? Most Chads are just Chad. They just pointed at a map and went, this country in Africa

will do. It's not a bad one. What do you want to plug? Starting a show in San Francisco with some friends. It's going to be a monthly at Amadeus in the Mission. First one's November 16th and Chad's going to be on it. It'll be a monthly at Amadeus in the Mission. First one's November 16th and Chad's going to be on it. Yay! It'll be a good show.

There's a place called Amadeus? Yeah, yeah. Is it easy to spell? A-M-A-D-O-S, isn't it? It's Amados. Amados? I'm dyslexic. Some say Amados, some say Amados. Yeah, it's the first time I've said it out loud. It's a very new show. I bet you also like

Clamadoo juice. All of it, yeah. out loud it's a very new show i bet you also like clamado juice all of it yeah awesome all right uh let's see do i have any plugs written down here oh guess what guess who's gonna be at finally sketch fest is gonna happen yeah uh in january i'll be back for Sketchfest, and they just moved all of Sketchfest back a year and a week when they canceled it last year. So I'll be here towards the end of January for a weekend doing Benson Movie Interruptions of, let's see if I can remember,

it's been so long since we booked it, The Lost Boys and The Goonies. The Goonies are going to be fun to interrupt because they don't ever stop talking. It's going to be hard to get jokes in, but still fun to watch on the big screen. And I'm also going to do a Doug Loves Movies that weekend

and an episode of Padgett. It's not her podcast. She's just on it. Arden Mirren's podcast, Will You Accept This Rose, which is all about the Bachelor franchise. So we have a busy weekend in January

here in San Francisco. I might even come back sometime before then because I love it here so much. Any place where you can't see the tops of buildings because of the fog, it's just exciting to me. And yeah, that's my plug. And I have one donut left.

And it's got to be the most difficult shot. I'm going to try to throw it into the men's room. Hold that door open. Oh yeah, wow, that's a bank shot. It's around the corner. That's a bank shot. I'm going to try to throw it into the men's room. Hold that door open. Oh, yeah. Wow, that's a bank shot. It's around the corner.

Hell yeah. That's a bank shot. That would have been pretty amazing. But where's a good one? Where's somebody that's far enough away for this to be impressive? Oh, over there by all the pictures. I like it. All right, here we go.

Don't let it down, dude. Oh, it bounced off the table. It was a little shy, but you can still eat it. Five-second rule. Yeah, yeah, I just cleaned. It was a little shy, but you can still eat it. Five second rule. Yeah, yeah, I just cleaned that floor myself a little while ago. Because, you know, like how you should groom your dog before you bring it in? I clean the club before you come in, so happy to do it. But, yeah, I'd throw that out if I was you.

One more time for all of my guests. Ben Kalina. Jenny Royal. Chad Opitz. He'll be back soon. Get ready with that end music. I'll go like this when to play it because I close every episode

with a different last line from a movie and today's goes like this as always oh and thank you to the punchline and to all of you for coming out it's a beautiful day outside

wink I mean by San Francisco standards it is nice because it's not super cold and it's not raining as always oh alright bring them

now it's time for Doug to watch another talky eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.