Doug Loves Movies - Bobcat Goldthwait, Dana Gould, Clarke Wolfe and Adam Ray guest

Episode Date: April 24, 2019

Back at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Bobcat Goldthwait, Dana Gould, Clarke Wolfe and Adam Ray to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies. Coming to you once again from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles.

Hot crowd. It's Tuesday, April 23rd, 2019. Did you guys have a good 420? Yeah. Awesome. Did you? Awesome Blossom. Did you guys get too high to remember to make name tags for tonight?

Yeah. Yeah. I thought that might happen to a few of you. But okay, we got some. We got some really tiny ones up front. Good luck. Good luck with those. But yeah, we got a few here, so we're in good shape. You can go ahead and bring the lights down and everyone can rest their arms. Doug plugs, I'm doing stand-up on Saturday May 4th at Zany's in Rosemont Illinois and then the next day also at 420 I'm

doing Doug Loves Movies. It's a Cinco de Mayo tradition and then the next night Monday May 6th I'm doing stand-up at Zany's in Chicago and on Tuesday, May 7th doing Doug Loves Movies for the first time ever at the Comedy Off-Broadway Club in Lexington, Kentucky. Cure your Kentucky Derby hangover with a little of the horse that bit ya. Whatever that means.

For all of my dates, go to DougLovesMovies.com That's DougLovesMovies.com Yeah! Go, go! Wallet! Last week, I got to see

a great documentary called The Biggest Little Farm, and then I got to visit the titular farm out in Moorpark, California and I interviewed the husband and wife

who made and are the subject of the film because it's a couple John and Molly Chester they just decided to leave their apartment and start a farm and the movie is about

all the things that happen. And you can hear the interview I did with them at the end of this episode. Uh, I'd like to do some dugouts dugout to lump block on Twitter for tweeting to me that he digs the dugouts, uh, dugout, uh,

dugout to, uh, Sean Sack of my, a frequent guest on the show, and his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl for coming out to the show tonight. A dugout to everybody who came to my shows last weekend in Royal Oak and Boston.

It was super, super fun. And a dugout to our friend Sean Jordan, whose album The Buck Starts Here, drops on Friday. Get it wherever you get your comedy recordings these days. The prize bag tonight includes a, you know, I've been talking about these all the time now, a pin of my face from Rockin' Pins. And I'm excited to say that also tonight

there it is, also so I'm putting one in the prize bag but then also tonight you can purchase these for $10, cash only get two if you only have a $20 and there'll be a nice lady selling these after the show tonight

probably just out on the sidewalk on Tamarind where I'll be standing around smoking with people. Also, another pin, as long as they're giving out pins, this one says Star Buds on it, and it's a nice little marijuana pin.

We did an episode of Dining with Doug and Karen at a place here nearby in Hollywood. Oh, that's not going to fit if I don't change the adjustment thing on it. But we went to this tiki bar with delicious food and amazing drinks. It's called Lono, L-O-N-O, on Hollywood Boulevard. And so they gave me this hat that I would never wear publicly,

but the winner of this bag might a Douglas movies t-shirt some rolling papers I was recently in Nashville so I stole a book about Nashville from from my hotel room all of that plus stuff brought by my four awesome guests, one of whom might not be here yet, so that's exciting. We'll see how many people walk out here when I introduce their names. Please give it up for Dana Gould, Clark Wolfe, Adam Ray, and Bobcat Goldthwait. Goldthwait!

Here they are. Sit wherever you like. Whoever's least likely to cheat and look at the answers, sit next to me. Because that's a crucial spot. All right, so we are missing one, as I thought. But, uh... Oh, he walked in? He's doing his, uh... He's taking a pee or something?

Oh, alright. And somebody forgot the glasses. There he is! There he is. Hey, buddy. Hey, Dana. Hi. Let's just chat. Well, how come we lost one, we gained one, and we lost one?

That's how it's going to be. Yeah. Well, let's say hi to everybody individually, and we'll start with the first person to arrive here tonight. Clark Wolf is here, everybody. Hello, everyone. And here's exciting news in the world of Clark Wolf, at least to me.

You mentioned backstage that you have seen Avengers Endgame. I sure have, Doug. I saw it today. Here's my only question, because I don't want anything spoiled. My only question is, is the Taylor Swift song Endgame in the movie? Doug, it is.

No way. Are you kidding me? I mean, no spoilers, but yes, at a very pivotal moment when... Wow. Yeah, I don't even want to make a joke because I don't want anybody to... No spoilers. I mean, she's reminded me thanos for a long time now and i've seen her snap her finger at her concerts and then i i read the obituary so it's working

she uh she dusts those boyfriends pretty fast she reminded you of theranos of who's that thanos i thought you were making an elizabeth holmes reference oh no i was not because she's also like a robotic kind of like... But it would be a much deeper like, shake it off.

Might as well say hello to this monster next. It's Dana Gould, everybody. The man behind Stan vs. Evil. That's the kind of response as an entertainer you hope for. Dead silence.

There were two very enthusiastic woos. What was somebody moving? Most people were just pooped out from cheering for Dana for the first time I mentioned his name. You can't get too many applause breaks just in one little conversation. But I did break

the seal on the Theranos pharmaceutical scandal references. Yes, you were the first one to get there. We should create some sort of award for that. And now it's going to get obscure. We have the Pete Holmes Award. That's the person who spoke

before being spoken to. Because that's his game. But thank you for being here, Dana. Also joining us, he's the one that came racing in last minute because he's busy running around doing shows. He was at the comedy store. It's Adam Ray, everybody.

Getting laughs with nothing, appearing this Friday. It was a hilarious missed high five. You're going to be at the April Foolishness. Our friends Kevin and Bean do a big show for charity here in Los Angeles at the Microsoft Theateril foolishness or kevin and friends kevin and bean do a big show yeah uh for charity uh here in los angeles at the microsoft theater and you're gonna be one of the uh

comedians there friday night yeah ray romano be there too yeah ever met ray romano no i haven't oh shit never met him is he nice all right well i guess i don't need to go to the show I did meet him a couple of times and he is very nice He is I was projecting You just

Yeah Does he Does he truly sound like that No Cause everybody does He does right He reigns it in a little bit

Just talking right now He reels in the ray But he also You've seen him He's a dramatic actor now He's always really good and stuff Yeah

What was his show on TNT that he had? Yeah, he was in that show, Three Old Men with Boners. Three Old Men with Boners. I love that show. Every season. Yeah, Three Men with a Certain Age Boner. With a Certain Age Boner, yeah. Yeah.

Working title. The first show to have a boner in the title. Yeah. What's up, Doug? How you doing? Good. That's good Very good

Thanks for being here Thanks for having me I'm glad you made it Me too You know who else I'm glad is here Bobcat Gold Whoa

Well Well thank you Hey dude Hey buddy How are you I'm good I see that you And this other gentleman, Dana Gould, you're going out on a tour together.

Yeah. Two old men with boners, oddly enough. Yeah. Oh, where's the third? Prove it. Yeah, and who are these boners you speak of? I wish. That's where I'm going.

I'm going into Norman Fell kind of territory now. I don't have boners anymore. Yeah, we're doing a tour. Who came up with calling it the Warped Tour? The W-A-A-R-P Tour? Yeah, exactly. I didn't come up with that. No, that was some guy on Instagram. That's great. I love random strangers. I didn't come up with that no that was some guy on Instagram

that's great I love random strangers busting their balls we wanted to call it the hilarious Wilburys I think on social media the thing is the biggest insult is someone will put under something they don't like political or something they said.

They'll go, unfollow? And I'm like, I used to play arenas. Millions of people have unfollowed me. You're really, really late to that train i'm not gonna see hot to try either someone said in the way it wasn't it wasn't me but someone said making a big announcement then you're unfollowing somebody is like making a big stink about walking out of a party you crashed i'm leaving harumph i don't like the arrangements but we're we're shameless we're going all over this great yeah we're doing a tour we're gonna bring this kind of excitement we're doing about 10 or 11 we're going to Nashville, Chicago, Portland Washington D.C., New York

Pontiac, Michigan. You heard me. Did you say Boston? Boston, Massachusetts. Go to danagool.com and there's a whole list of them. Neat. It'll be fun. It's the show with two heads.

It's funny. You're doing one here in Los Angeles at Largo. At Largo? Yeah. I'll come by and watch that. That'll be great. It's the show with two heads. It's funny. You're doing one here in Los Angeles at Largo. At Largo? Yeah. Come by and watch that. That'll be great. We're going to work on the boners. Do you remember people... My friend Danny Bond's dad came in one day and he's like, at work I pulled the biggest boner today.

Because it used to be in like a faux pas or like you'd crack the joke. Danny Bond and I did not know that. I'm like, where's your dad work? Where's that cool?

Rite aid. Pretty much anywhere. Pretty much anywhere. Pretty much anywhere. Depends what you got. Let's talk prize bag. We'll start with you, Adam. What did you bring for us tonight? Oh, boy, dude.

All the way from Hollywood. We got some Koi Naturals Healing Balm. What? You guys aching? You breaking? Does it work? Yeah. I don't know if that's a slow...

It does, yeah. Does it work if you apply it to yourself? My arthritic Jewish mom in Seattle finds it quite enjoyable. She still... When you put it on her? That's a personal question. You brought up your mom in lotion. I did, out of nowhere.

Yeah. And arthritis. Drink four if you're playing the arthritis Jewish mom drinking game. you brought up your mom in lotion I did out of nowhere yeah and arthritis drink four if you're playing the arthritis Jewish mom drinking game she says it doesn't cure

her arthritis but she's like but it makes me feel I feel something so okay that was a shitty pitch yeah that was really

we also got look I don't know how you like your chapstick but a lot of the times I'm putting it on my lips and or my mom's, you know? And callback. And I'm always thinking, like, God, wouldn't it be great if I could get, like,

all the flavors from your local vending machine? Well, now you can, with Coca-Cola's Lip Smackers. Now, did I buy this for myself? You know, maybe. But, you know, Sprite, Barg's Root Beer, Fanta. Two Fantas. Okay, I thought that was going to get a bigger applause. But duly noted.

You've got to change up the chapstick flavors because you don't want to get addicted to one flavor. And people don't want to, you know, you don't want to be known as the cherry coke guy. And you're like, all right, maybe it's a Barg's type of day. This is like the world's worst earthquake survival. Or best, depending on where you grew up um dentine pure yeah no it's pretty bad this is all the stuff the rock keeps in his fanny pack or the stuff that glenn close gives out on halloween uh and then a six-pack of corona that's weird is it i feel like it's pretty great

anyway so there you go And you can keep the target Good job Were you like embarrassed To just be buying chapstick In a liquor store So you had to buy Six bottles of beer?

Maybe It's a It's a special party That's a sad party If I wasn't coming here so let me just get this straight you're showing up at your mom's house with some booze lotion and stuff for your lips yeah and gum don't forget about my good son well both one of the skies I haven't got the Faygo lip smackers it's I'm giving it. It's Juggalo approved.

Oh, nice. Yeah. All the Faygo flavors. All the Faygo flavors. I do not recommend the LaCroix lip smackers. Those aren't as good.

It's too subtle. What do you have for us, Bob? I have a Ted Ted McGinley mask From the show Stan Against Evil John

John Ted Who's Ted McGinley? I don't know Ted McGinley's that guy That cursed guy That every show he's on Gets cancelled

He was on Married With Children Yeah Ted McGinley I could be Ted McGinley I would be really mad Cause they Clearly fucked up, Ted McGinley. I could be Ted McGinley. I would be really mad because they clearly fucked up the Ted McGinley mask and made it look like John McGinley.

Here's the thing. She'd go back and try to return it. This looks like I got this from Dana just before I went on. Not the case. Ted McGinley.

It's John McGinley. I would have given you some chapsticks Yeah I know I was looking for a new coke chapstick This is The thing is this is his actual flesh So

You might think it's not a great prize But if you need to plant his DNA At a murder site Boom Remember when they did the comic books with Kisses Blood Yeah Same thing But if you need to plant his DNA at a murder site, boom. Remember when they did the comic books with Kiss's blood? Yeah. Same thing.

Yeah, but now Kiss is like, oh, we really need that back. Can we just get our blood back? You know, I used to... You know, the crew will give you Mick Mars' colon. The crew. You know, I used to... You know, the crew will give you Mick Mars' colon. I used to see Paul Stanley at the Color Me Mine in our neighborhood all the time. And he's very sweet with his son. I'd be there with my daughter

and he would be... Because his speaking voice, he's like an old Jewish woman from New York. You are just painting the Dickens out of that toadstool. I like that it said it was red,

but you're painting it blue. You're just painting it the color you want. You wanted the toadstool. You got it. I saw... Color me mine. I went to see...

I never saw Kiss because I was growing up. I was like, I don't like Kiss. And then I saw, color me white. I went to see, I never saw Kiss, because I was growing up, I was like, I don't like Kiss, and then, and then I saw him, and I saw him in Phoenix, and they were like going,

the Phoenix fire marshal told us we can't do the show we normally do, but you can't stop Kills. And then the fire blew up, and then I was like, these guys are playing fast and loose. And then the next night,

I saw him in Tucson. I was like, I got to check that out again. And he goes, the Tucson fire marshal said, we can't do the show you normally do. Every Arizona. But you can't stop kills. And I was like,

you got, that's a flag that's a pattern if I'm gonna have a lawsuit that is a clear pattern I always feel that Peter Criss was late when they're handing out the costumes it's like I'm gonna be the

God of Thunder oh that's badass and I'm gonna spit blood god of thunder. Oh, that's badass. And I'm gonna spit blood. And I got a big tongue. And I'm a god demon. Oh, wow, that's cool. What are you? Paul Stanley, I'm the sexy star child. I came from another galaxy to seduce the women of Earth.

Oh, that's rad. What about you, Ace? Oh, I'm clearly a wizard, because that's the only way you can explain how fast I play the guitar. It's alchemy. Cool, what am I going to be? You're a cat.

Do I have any powers? No, you're just... You like to sit on warm surfaces? And if I touch your back in the right spot, you shoot your ass up for no apparent reason. That's a superpower. Do I get boots? No. Women throwing little cups of cream at him.

Dangling a giant mouse at the front of the stage. Is that why that song, Beth, the first line is, Beth, I hear you calling? Because she's calling the cat home for dinner? I can't come home right now. There's a fish skeleton, but the head's still on it. That's who Ray Romano sounds like. Hey, TC.

Office of Zimble, Jesus. No, TC. Office of Dibble Jesus. Not him, but the other one. They go, hey, TC. I don't know. All right, this tour is going to be dynamite. You guys are going to be on stage at the same time, just reminiscing? Yeah.

Sure. I'd watch that. Well. Yeah, that'd be fun. What do you mean you've never heard of grunge? For the big finish, you guys could trade glasses. See what happens. See what craziness unfolds.

Brought to you by the walk-in bathtub. Are you ready to rock? There's a bootleg of Paul Stanley at some show and it's great because you can only hear it and he's like Detroit is the greatest city in the country are you ready to rock Detroit

we're telling them the band of the way and nobody rocks like fucking Detroit Cleveland that happened to me when I was a kid. And the Ramones, they... Yeah, I grew up in Syracuse.

Hello, Schenectady. One, two, three, four. And couldn't get them back for the first four songs. You're in Syracuse. We're much... No, we're about as bad as Schenectady. You were right. My apologies, Joey. We're much... No, we're about as bad as Schenectady. You were right. My apologies, Joey.

We're slightly easier to spell. But not by a lot. Clark, what do you got for the bag here? This is a scary looking thing you put on the table. The scariest. Anybody here enjoy the escape rooms? Going to escape rooms? That's

okay. No, that was a good response. I don't want an audience that enjoys escape rooms? Going to escape rooms? That's okay. No, that was a good response. I don't want an audience that enjoys escape rooms. So, I was anticipating a smattering. But that said, what's great... I had a colonoscopy

the other day. And I wore my cowboy hat and I had the gown on. And the doctor kept talking to me. I was really nervous because I stopped breathing during procedures sometime. Whoa. Okay, that's not the story. But to make me feel better, the doctor kept talking to me about country music.

And I'm like, I don't want a doctor that likes country music doing any procedure on me. How did he bring it up? Like, oh, so you've seen Brooks and Dunn live? No, she was like, they were talking about this upcoming concert, like a country Coachella. Stagecoach. Oh, stagecoach. Stagecoach, yeah. And I'm like, I don't know anything about country, man.

I'm just balding. And I think you guys should know this I sometimes don't breathe all the way during surgeries I just find that funny because there's no no skin off of my teeth I just wake up with all these people shouting over me breathe! and I'm like hey! When did you get here? Yeah it's no skin off my nose look i've i've done a lot you know i'm past like uh do you know i mean now it's now it's timely death time

you know i mean if i die i'd be like oh it wouldn't be like i got ripped from the height of my career people would be, I already thought he was dead. I have that. Sometimes people will burst into tears in a mall and tell me they thought I was dead. I'm sorry, I interrupted your escape. Oh. How it got from your lower intestine to the escape room. That's what I call my butt.

I call mine a panic room. So this is an escape room in a box. So you actually don't have to go out and do anything. And it is to promote the movie Escape Room, which is directed by Adam Robitel, who did a great horror movie called Taking of Deborah Logan, if any of you guys have seen it.

It's really good. But anyway, if you don't want to actually do the Escape Room part, all the answers are just in this book right here. So you can just crack this baby open and essentially play with all the gifts inside. They just give you the cheat codes right there. They call it a hint book, but it's the cheat codes. But you do this in your own home?

Yeah, yeah. You can do it, you do it at home so you don't have to. But I know how to get out of my house. But do you know how to get out of this box? Yeah, wait till you open that box. That's right.

What do you win in escape rooms? Like, if you go out with friends and do them, what do you win? Are you asking me? Yeah, all right. Anybody. Yeah, bragging rights. Don't friends and do them, what do you win? Are you asking me? Yeah, anybody. Yeah, bragging rights.

Don't ask anybody. Yeah, you don't win anything, but there's no prize at the end. If you get out exceptionally quickly, they get annoyed.

Yeah. That's true. That's true. And you get the honor of taking a photo and putting it on Instagram. Oh, also,

they let you live. Oh, yeah. If you get out. So that's crucial. The movie Escape Room is available on Blu-ray and streaming right now. And so you get to play it. It's available on

Screaming. You know, for most seniors, like any room, there's an escape room. Where's the keys? Who are you? My cat's a wolf.

I can't get out of this chair. Escape chair. All right. Dana, what do you got for us? Oh my lord. What happened? This is gonna knock your shit apart? Oh, my Lord. What happened? This is going to knock your shit apart. Oh, finally. I have a...

For all the fans of Stand Against Evil... Who's the Ted McGinley fan? They're all in this room. Who's the Ted McGinley fan? This is the Ted McGinley's own. This is Stand Against Evil Jigsaw Puzzle. You know that would make John McGinley... own. Stan against evil jigsaw puzzle. You know that would make John McGinley, that would frost his cake.

I'll hear from him. Did Bob Scratch Goldfarb think I was really Ted McGinley? That guy sunk the love boat. For the record, I almost took this back in the green room because I love puzzles and horror.

And my LP, my long player. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that should get more woos. That's a great item. This cover is in the movie The Big Sick. On a wall. And I'm like, why did you put pins in the album cover? Yeah, it's on Kamal's wall in The Big Sick.

But it's a real album. Wasn't just mocked up for that movie? Nope. Well, all that's going in the prize bag, but before we get to that, I just have a quick question for everybody before we get to the games.

Adam, we'll start with you. Last movie you saw? Shanghai Nights. No. I just like to give that movie more credit than it's received over the last 25 years. What about Shanghai Noon?

Does it hold up to the standard set by Shanghai Nights? I don't think so. It's the other way around. Oh, Shanghai Noon was first? You go Noon to Nights? You go Noon to Nights. Are these the sequels to Shanghai Surprise? With Madonna and Sean Penn.

Yeah. Yeah, any movie, right? Not a new release. Richie Rich, actually. What? I show my nieces. Richie Rich, actually. What? I showed my nieces Richie Rich. You showed it to your nieces? Yeah. They wanted to see a kid movie.

We stopped. The cover of it looked enticing to 29-year-old girls. And we watched Richie Rich. How did it work out? Did everybody enjoy it? Where did you go? Yeah, I finished the whole thing. Where?

Back up. Are you a time traveler? How did you? Did you go to? I was up in Seattle. Oh, yeah. They actually do still have video stores there. They really do.

Yeah. And yeah, I don't know why. Scarecrow video? Yeah, they do. Yeah. It was. It doesn't hold up. Macaulay does a pretty good job but they passed out

do you get to say to your kids like he's on bath salts now is he really he chewed his own nipples off during a full moon oh shit Richie Rich

yeah he's also got a show coming up at Largo yeah yeah he's gonna do his podcast there. That's great. Oh man, you should definitely go and just sit

in the audience and scream that out. Show us your chewed off nipples. Bobcat, what was the last movie you saw? I would say

Leaving Neverland. I thought I didn't like it I thought there'd be more songs oh man yeah apparently

there was clearance problem what's the movie about I was thinking that you were talking about that Johnny Depp

movie Finding Neverland how many people have seen that that didn't have any songs in songs you know if video stories were a thing that would be a funny mitsap bad that's not going down at the neighborhood blockbuster

leaving neverland also subtitled home alone so there is a macaulay culkin thread So there is a Macaulay Culkin thread. No. Do you mean going in the cinema? It could be in any format. Well, I just watched Stan and Ollie, which I thought was great. I don't know why that movie didn't... It was just... Those guys were so...

Steve Coogan and John C. Reilly were great in that. And it was a good movie. And the cinema... Her Smell, I think would have been the last thing. How'd that work out for you? It's an intense movie. Did you see it? Yeah.

It's rough because it's a very difficult character to be around. And there's lots of... Elizabeth Moss really throws herself into it. Really? Yeah. You didn't find her annoying? No.

I've been around way more crazy or dangerous people than her. So I just thought... It was too mild for you? It was a little like if she was at the party, I was just like, all right, you know. I've been to a lot of parties where the solution is, well, just knock them out, man, so we can keep the party going.

Oh, shit. That was me once. I woke up while my friends held me down, and the third was smashing my head into a bathtub. And I go, what's going on? They go, you're out of control. It's a true story. By the way way that's the opening scene in richie rich is it yeah mac you're out of control you know i watched the oprah thing right after on leaving

neverland yeah what'd you think well i didn't know that anthony i i do stand by survivors i didn't know anthony Anthony Edwards was a survivor. Did you know? An adult survivor. The guy from ER? Yeah. And he's got a whole organization and he's talking he's reaching out to the guys it's not a dry eye in the house everybody's... And then he says we have a saying in our organization

and that is you are not alone. And I'm like that's a Michael Jackson song. I was like that's a Michael Jackson song seriously guys you didn't run that around the clubhouse a couple times we better change that quick what else can we let's call it free willy you know if you're feeling sad or suicidal, you just tell those bad thoughts, beat it. That's what we say in our organization. I just think it's very ill-advised. Just keep telling yourself, I'm bad, I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad. Now, did you know that? It doesn't matter if I'm black or white. Now, did you know that? Remember that time? I'm bad. You know, bad was going to be a duet with Prince.

Oh, man. And Prince came in, and they go, well, listen to the song. And they started playing it. And it played the first couple lines, and Prince was like, all right, let's stop right there. Michael Jackson's not singing to me. Your ass is mine. And I'm certainly not singing your Ass is Mine to Michael Jackson. This meeting is over.

And then he left. I like that just something creeped out Prince. Yeah. Didn't you have a hit single about a clitoris? Yes, I did. Weren't you wearing ass hit single about a clitoris? Yes, I did. Yeah. Weren't you wearing assless chaps on stage? You know, I tried that.

All chaps are assless. That's a great point. Point of order. That's a great point. That's a great album title. Boy, if Prince would come out with that. Yeah. I was on... All chaps are assless.

I'm not singing all chaps are assless. Well, then stop wearing them, Prince. To Alice Cooper. So a couple days after he had worn those chaps... Pick a lane. I was on Arsenio Hall. Yeah, no biggie. I was on Arsenio Hall.

Yeah, fuck yeah. That was a big deal. You have to carbon date all my references. You have to carbon date all my references. So Prince had just gone on the MTV Awards with no ass in his pants, and I thought, well, this will be funny. I'll do the same thing. And I had him cut my ass out of my pants on the Arsenio Hall show.

But that day was a day that the whole audience was children that had been brought to the taping by the LAPD. Swear to God, it's a true story. And I just like, and I walk out. Nobody told you that? And I don't care. Like, you know, we're going to go over you. I truly walk out and I just see children. And I'm like, I have no ass in my pants. Oh, man.

It was terrible. It was just... Thank you for answering the question, what was the last movie you saw? Oh, man. Clark, you've had some time to think about this? Yes, I have. A lot of time, sorry.

What's your answer? Well, we touched on it earlier, but Avengers Endgame. Oh, yeah, you just saw that today. Which, you know saw that today. Which, you know, I'm sure nobody wants to hear me talk about because obviously,

spoilers. But, did you enjoy it? You could give us that. I really, really did. And I would say, I didn't get a chance

to do any of the rewatches, you know, like a lot of people. Do you need to? Well, that's what I would say is if I could make a suggestion,

I would rewatch Ant-Man and the that's what I would say is if I could make a suggestion, I would re-watch Ant-Man and the Wasp, and I would re-watch Infinity War. Everything else you're cool, you can watch as much as you want, but those were the two that I would strongly suggest. That's what I tell anyone who wants to watch Police Academy 4. You have to watch. Re-watch Ant-Man first. Yeah, watch Ant-Man, Infinity War,

and hopefully you'll be tired by then and you won't want to watch Police Academy 4 that's a great suggestion but yes highly recommend I foresee this movie being a

big success that's very bold of you yeah I know listen I haven't said much on this podcast so I want to sorry

I want the one contribution I make that Avengers movie I think it's gonna do something could break records right it could be the biggest of all time I think it will be

and you know what I will say I only hope that Iron Man is sassy I want Iron Man to be sassy yeah and I want there to be a majority of shots

that aren't parallel to the ground. Outside of that, they can do anything they want. Does Hulk snap at least? He's got to. Does he smash? There's a lot of talk on the internet about how peculiar it is that the Hulk is not in the trailer much or at all.

And I just write that off to that, you know, in this next one, Mark Ruffalo or Banner is still going to be having trouble getting the Hulk to come out. Because that was a whole thing in the last... It was. I would say that that's a savvy observation

that the internet made. Maybe he'd come out if you took some Viagra. Get it? That's a 10-year-old joke. That's a 10-year-old kid joke. And a good one. I wonder if it's too late to cancel the tour. It's never too late.

I know. You want to hear a true 10-year-old joke? Wake up. Yeah. What's from too late. I know. You want to hear a true 10-year-old joke? Wake up. Yeah. What's from a 9-year-old? My niece has told me because she likes it.

Oh, I thought you were telling us how long ago the joke was written. I said this on Arsenio. I said... I do want more Arsenio stories if we're being honest. But my niece told me,

she goes, what's a taco's favorite dance? The salsa. Oh, taco? If you don't talk through the punchline, it's funnier. That was what was wrong with that joke? Yeah. That was everything.

My goddamn interruption. You stepped on my topical taco joke, dude. All right. Torn from the headlines. Torn from the headlines. If she said that afterwards, I would have really laughed. Torn from the headlines, Uncle Adam. You know what an enchilada's favorite dance is?

Say, here we go. The hokey pokey. Wait, that's pretty good. What was the last movie you saw, Dana? The last movie I saw was Us. Okay. Which I thought was completely fine. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that.

No, I'm kidding. I came in my own mouth. It changed my life. Totally made me rethink. That'll go right on the poster. I wouldn't see it if it said that. I thought Elizabeth Moss was great. I wouldn't find that to be a compliment

if someone did that during my movie. Seems like they're doing something else rather than paying attention to my movie. Hands off. No, I thought it was good. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it a lot. I guess it's a movie.

I watched The Act, which I thought was really good. But that's more of a miniseries. Oh, okay. But yeah, Us. All right. Great job, everybody. Watching movies. What about you, Doug?

Huh? No Hulk in us. We don't have time for me to talk about Under the Silver Lake. Yeah, I saw that today. And? It's long. It's a long movie. And there's a lot

of weird stuff in there. Do you have a time restriction for your films? No, I don't. Unfortunately. I should have one. I keep falling for this movies that are over two hours and has anybody seen like that Kevin Costner Woody Harrelson the highwayman yeah I have not seen it. I heard that it's a lot of them just discussing how are we going to catch Bonnie and Clyde.

And if you just go on Wikipedia or some shit, you find out how they did, in fact, do that. I think Emma Arnold said it should be called Old Guys Looking at Maps. I think that's where I got my entire impression of what that movie would be, just from Emma's tweet. All right, you guys, this is the part where I say, turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin!

All right, so it's kind of a meager selection. Not a lot of name tags, not a lot of big ones, but people did make some effort of some kind. So what I'd like each of you to do is just stand up and go select the name tag that you would like to be your partner for the evening. You'll play on behalf of them. Is that a Sing Street? Can you change it to Sing Pete?

Good for you. Are you coming to the Malton Fest? Oh, because we're going to play that movie at Malton Fest. All right, yeah. So that would be a good name tag to bring because we're going to do Doug Loves Movies before it. All right, while these guys do this, we'll go to a brief commercial message.

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Go to Sirius XM.com slash DLM and get your first three months of Sirius XM outside the car for $1. See offer details. Offer available to new SiriusXM streaming subscribers. SiriusXM. No car required. I found one. All right, we're back.

Dana Gould found one. That's the main thing. Who is it, Dana? Who are you? Oh, I didn't get your name. I'm sorry. Dan. It's probably in there. Re-Dan-imator. See, he worked it into the title. He's named Dan.

I could have also thought his name was Anima. I don't judge. That's a popular name now. It's right up there with Kate It's you And then that's our friend Jeff Tate It's his head There you go

He's become very popular People love potatoes Yeah The Reed's Animator There you go, good job Directed by Stuart Gordon. I forgot all about that. Yeah.

What do you got, Clark? All right. I got Kila Clowns from Outer Space. So I'm playing. It's Kila? It's Kila. Great. Kila.

All right. And this is you, Doug, and Dave Koechner on here. Oh, nice. Yeah. So that's a good looking crew. You thought there was a shot Dave would come by tonight? He was in Orlando. Oh, he was in Orlando.

So that... I don't follow that logic. I saw that show. Oh, she was at that show. Cool. She was at the Orlando show, yeah. All right, what do you got, Bobcat? I got Sing Pete. Yeah, I love it.

And that's Pete, right? And his last name is Enjoy It. You got Bobcat. I got Sing Pete. Yeah, I love it. And that's Pete, right? Yeah. And his last name is Enjoy It. He just wrote that on the back because we're all sharing messages, positive energy messages. Yeah, baby. Oh, that's great. I didn't even realize you.

That was sweet. I didn't catch that. It was Brody. That's okay. What do you got there? It's always a bummer to bring up a fallen comedian. That's good comedy fuel, Pete. You know,

I don't know. I didn't know Brody that well, but I have a lot of other dead friends you could bring up if you want. I truly believe that I'm made of asbestos at this point. No way. You were... You were...

Well, so... You were friends with Robin Williams. Yeah. Very good friends with Robin Williams. Yeah. And then you became...

You were very good friends with Barry Crimmins. Yeah. I made... I was the best man at both those guys' weddings. Both of those... Right.

And then I made a movie about them. I have this film I want to pitch, Dana, starring you. See, this is my concern. Yeah, I was worried that that's where this was headed. Dana's not going to survive this tour they're going on. After your wedding.

We're not close, close. Yeah, yeah. That old Bob Scratch charm. But Bob, do you like that movie, Sing Street, that poster? I've enjoyed this movie twice. It's so good. I love this movie. Yeah.

I think people think I'm not a softie. I enjoy this a lot. And music. You're very into music. Yeah, I really can't complain about this film. Alright. Manila folders don't get enough action

these days. So it's nice to see Adam's name tag is attached to one. Wasn't that your high school yearbook quote? Yeah. We got K-Skidball. I'm going to guess Casey? Yep. Nice. There you go.

Great movie. If you haven't seen it, put it in your queue. Sir, have you seen it? Yeah. Great. Pretty pumped about this choice. You seem pretty happy. K-Skidball.

You seem very confident. Yeah. All right. pretty happy. Basketball. Seems very confident. Yeah. Alright, let's start with some games to determine who's going to win all these prizes. The first one we're going to play is called Characters Welcome. I'll start naming characters

from a movie. And you guys, all of you can just take turns guessing as often as you like what the movie is until somebody gets it right. Cool. Alright. This movie's got a character in it named Miss Anderson.

Miss Anderson. Miss Anderson. There's a no to boat trip, but great guess. Mr. Ralston. Fast Times? No. Someone else named Raymond. There's a Mr. Bernstein.

Four Weddings and a Funeral? James W. Geddes. Chinatown? No, this is Citizen Kanedes Chinatown no this is a Chinatown what is it citizen case it is a cane is correct you did it I was just about to say Jedediah Leland oh yeah that's a real giveaway one and then of course Charles Foster Kane I thought it would be really funny to have guys that are really into movies

and get all the way to Charles Foster Kane. But Dana pulled it off. There's a shark in it named Jaws. I don't know. They don't ever really call him that, though. They don't ever nickname it. No, that was... Jaws is back.

Oh, no. Jaws 2. I saw Jaws up close. I know what he looks like. And I don't want to tell you guys what the hell again. Talking to Jaws. It was only after the hit single Mr. Jaws. Mr. Jaws. Mr. Jaws.

I used to make those things when I was a kid. It was so much fun to just take weird snippets From songs and just make it the answers In an interview What do you like looking at Mr. Jaws? Skyrockets in flight Well why is that?

It didn't make any sense The setups were like as bad as Comics Unleashed They would do the same Every song in the top ten They would take every song in the top 10 and just do a little snippet of it. It was like, I'm talking to Jaws.

What is your favorite song? Mr. Jaws. Why do you keep biting people? Popcorn, popcorn, popcorn, popcorn. Oh, okay. He likes popcorn. Why can't we be friends? Yes, that's in it.

That's in it. It's a good song. Those things are very entertaining. Because each one of those little snippets of song, you get excited for hearing that little bit of that song because you know it. Yeah. So that's weird.

And then Albert Brooks did a parody of that where he just wrote his own songs. Are you Abe Lincoln? No, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry, I thought you were Abe Lincoln. And the name of that? Party in Outer Space. From Party in Outer Space. Yeah. Wow, I just met were Abe Lincoln. And the name of that? Party in Outer Space. Party in Outer Space.

Yeah. Wow, I just met Lassie. Party in Outer Space. We're really in a... We're going to be amusing ourselves on this tour. Come on, Party in Outer Space. Come on. It's such a good title.

Party in Outer Space. So funny. I like titles that there's no guesswork. You know? Teen Wolf. What's it about? Yeah. You know?

I can't believe I sat through the whole goddamn thing. There wasn't a single Teen Wolf to be seen. There's all these old wolves. damn thing. There wasn't a single teen wolf to be seen. There's all these old wolves. There's only dancing and dancing with wolves, by the way. Now that you mention it, Twilight should be about

old vampires. It should. I mean, I guess they are. Yeah. We'll be right back. Every teenage girl has to decide between coprophilia and bestiality, and that's what these movies are about. A dog imprinted on my baby. All right, so this next game we're going to play is called

Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? And Dana won that last game game so he gets to go first and so it'll go dana and then we'll go to clark and bob and adam and what i'm going to do dana is i'm just going to spit out at you the tagline for a motion picture real motion picture the poster tagline not the character's tagline it could be a poster tagline or something just from the advertising materials. But it's not like, you're shit out of luck from Magnum Force. No. Okay.

That was Dirty Harry's catchphrase. I'm thinking catchphrase, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to do those. You know, Dan, if you listen to the podcast like I do, you'd know. No, I'm just as confused. I was like, wow, it's clearly I don't want to listen to the show or watch it. Well, here's the thing.

Since we've become closer, all of my free time is dedicated to my personal safety and health. I leave here, I am instantly encased in bubble wrap. I'll give you a heads up. If I start clutching my chest, I'm not doing a bit. That's good. Yeah, you should warn us about that.

Listen, he's doing Fred Sanford now. Does laugh sound way too young? To know who Fred Sanford was. To know a Fred Sanford joke. And to know that I was doing, and to know that I was saying that as Albert Brooks. He's doing Fred Sanford now. Where's Nemo?

It's funnier when you sound like Albert. There he is. Oh my God. I like that scene in... Finding Dory? No, what was Albert's... Modern Romance. Modern Romance.

Where he's going through the Rolodex looking for women to go out with, and he finds Ellen, and his parents named Petey. He's like, Petey, Ellen, Petey, Ellen, Ellen. And he's on quaaludes and then he just goes, Ellen, Petey, I love my records. Do the one about a no-win situation. Look, there are no-win situations. You've seen them.

Vietnam. This. He's only got two examples. All right. So that's good. We've had them. We worked the impressions in anyway, even though we're bullet-trained, playing games.

We're going gonna hit that starting with you dana i'll say that you know like uh it will scare you to pieces is the tagline for uh reanimator right that it's that simple and they're they're difficult because it's you know it's a tagline it could be for any movie we haven't started the game yet i truly am that confused I truly am that confused. All right. Dana gets to go first. And the tagline is...

Guilty of maximum fun in the first degree. Cop and a half. Oh, shit. You don't get a go yet. Sorry. Sorry. If Dana would like to steal your answer, since it wasn't your turn, he can, or

he can come up with his own. What do you think it is, Dana? Guilty of maximum fun in the first degree. I think I know who's in it. Is it a Pauly Shore movie?

Oh, I see where you're driving. You're in that movie that you're thinking of. What?

Aren't you in Jury Duty? No. Oh. Yes. Yeah, you are. Oh, man.

What just happened? Cincinnati! How do you forget that you're in jury duty? That's a great movie. I would be opening every show with that. I'd be walking into 7-Elevens like that.

I was in jury duty, two kick-ass. For free. Do you have a guest, Dana? No. Okay. Clark? Is it Police Academy 4? No, but that's a good guess. Bobcat, what do you think it is?

Man, I don't know. I'm trying to... Am I in it? I don't think you are. Is Pauly I in it? I don't think you are. Is Pauly Shore in it? If it's in the 80s, it's either me or Pauly Shore. That's a great time.

It's the healthion of cinema. It really was. I'm going to pass. Okay. And do you stick in with Cop and a Half down there? Well, look. I'm split between Cop and a Half and another fantastic cop-related movie.

Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. Oh, that is a good guess. Yeah. Yeah. But the answer is... Oh, it's neither? I'm assuming it's about a judge, a wacky judge. Well, kind of. It's a movie called Ernest Goes to Jail.

Damn it! Oh, man. I was one Estelle Getty guess away. Yeah. All right, Dana, you ready? Here's the next one. The tagline was, He's back. and this time...

dot dot dot That's it. That's it. So the subtitle of the movie is the end of the catchphrase. Yeah, the tagline I guess is going to end with the title of the movie. He's back, and this time...

I'm going to say it's a Jason movie. Okay. Not an Ernest movie? The original title of that was I'm Getting Gang Raped, Vern. Hey, Vern! They're cutting my butthole open with a razor blade I've already got the poster

It opens in six weeks in Tulsa Alright moving on to Clark Jason goes to hell? No Clark He did Jason goes to hell? No. Clark. He did. Is it is it

Ernest goes to camp? No. Oh, great guess though. Okay. Trying to play the game here. I was originally called raped by woodchucks. This time he

he's got to do something right this time what is he doing that's we need to figure out see up to you what did he do that he didn't finish is he is he dieharding that's a great guess. Adam? Stop or my mom will shoot. He's back and this time he's played by Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro in flashbacks. That's a great tagline. Yeah, I'm going to guess... Fuck.

What is that that Invincible with Mark Wahlberg oh okay applies I guess he's back a character we haven't seen yet this time he's invincible boom final answer no the actual answer is Ernest Saves Christmas This time he's invincible. Boom.

Final answer. No, the actual answer is Ernest Saves Christmas. Oh, my God. Oh, man. I'm sorry, Keela. Follow your instincts. And this time he's raped by elves? What is the end of it? All right, Dana, it's your turn.

Oh, God. The humiliation is endless. America's favorite class clown finally makes the grade oh yeah

this is back to school with Rodney Dangerfield no Clark yes is it Ernest goes to school that's correct

whoa yeah love it love it play in the game y'all play in the game happy y'all. Play in the game. Happy Gilmore?

Also a good guess. Billy Madison. Here's the next one for Bobcat. And Africa will never be the same. Ernest goes to Africa. Yes. Originally it was called Ernest has unprotective self. for Ketos. That was originally called Ernest as Unprotected.

I'm slowly sensing a theme. All right, Adam. Yeah. America's hero is finally back in camp.

Ernest saves camp. No, Dana. Oh, goes to camp. No, Dana. Oh, goes to camp. No.

God damn it. Stop or my mom will shoot. It's got a camp in it. Schindler's List. It's not a bad guess. You know, it's not right, but it's not a bad guess my my comedy plus time equals

history my oldest daughter has ADHD and every summer she goes to this place to where they work on methods to to make it better I just think concentration camp is such a terrible name to send children? They should call it a focus farm. Is this the Flight 93? No.

Getting even with Dad? Oh, he's finally back in camp. Well, Ernest goes to camp would be that. Camp Nowhere? Did everybody guess already, Clark? He's finally... He's back and he's finally...

America's Hero is finally back in camp. Ernest goes to the army? Ernest in the army. Yeah, so very close. Ernest goes to the army? Ernest in the army. Yeah. So very close. Ernest goes to Camp Crystal Lake? All right. So now we got to...

How many goddamn Ernest movies did they make? Millions. They made too many of them. I only knew the one. Yeah, they made way too many of them. Ernest goes... Just the denim vest budget. Ernest goes straight to video.

Ernest makes most of his fortune being the dog slinky in Toy Story movies. Yes. Oh, yeah. Cash those checks. All right. Jim Varney. Yeah.

Shakespearean actor. Mm-hmm. Janet Varney's father. No. All right. Jim Varney. Yeah. Shakespearean actor. Mm-hmm. Janet Varney's father. No. Not true. Not true. All right. So Clark and Bobcat each got one right, I believe.

So we're going to do a tiebreaker between the two of them. So just sit back, Adam and Dana, just for a second. And we'll see if... and i'm going to say it and you can both guess as often as you like till somebody gets it right uh everybody loves earnest but nobody's quite sure who he really is that's. It sounds like the most existential of all the Ernest films. Ernest went

to prison already, right? He went to jail. Went to Africa. He went to school. Ernest scared stupid. He went in the army. That is one. He did get scared stupid.

I don't know. I don't know if that's where we realized we didn't know who he really is. That's the only one I got left. Ernest. So let me just. Ernest goes to heaven. Oh, wow. Nice.

So they just did this. Too soon. Find Ernest. Replace all Medea. Print. I'm glad you didn't do that on mic because I'm a big fan of the Madea films. Is that your way of saying no, I don't?

I can't believe the Madea films are over. You know, that was the last one he just made. No way. I know. Is that why it was called Madea Endgame? I can't wait for you to find out why the Hulk wasn't in it.

All right. There was a Halloween one. Yeah, this is just stupid, you guys. That was the tagline for the importance of being earnest. Yeah, the movie

had nothing to do with earnest. No, that's had nothing to do with Ernest. No, that's a good one. I love that. That's a good one. And then there also apparently was Slam Dunk Ernest.

Yeah, that was the one I was thinking of. That one really was shot on tape. That one was. Really? Yeah. Who else was in that?

What athletes? Who? Air Bud was in it. Air Bud. Yeah, finally. It's a crossover franchise. Oddly, Pac it. Air Bud. Yeah. Finally. Crossover franchise. Oddly, Pacino is in that. Yeah.

Yeah. But De Niro was playing him in Blacklist. Yeah, exactly. All right. Well, this is very exciting because I feel like I've got a game here for the big finish to determine who wins the prizes that's going to go very quickly i'm very i'm very excited about what's uh happening with this because uh we're going to play last man stanton and that is a game where you guys take turns uh naming movies that someone's been in

that we you know name ahead of time and if you can't think of one you're out but you get one lifeline you can go to the person whose name tag you chose. You can go to them once for help if you need it. And if they can't help you, you can phone one friend. You can pull out your phone and call somebody if your lifeline is a dud. Is that true? That's new since the last... That's new, yeah.

Ooh. That's new. How's it been working? Jim Norton wanted to call Ozzy Osbourne, but he got his voicemail. Even Ozzy's voicemail would have been entertaining. It was just an automated voice. It wasn't him saying anything.

Yeah, that would have been fun. Real quick, Bob, to Ozzy Osbourne's outgoing message for us now. do Ozzy Osbourne's outgoing message for us now. It's a little vintage Bob Scratch. Thank you. I don't usually

bust out the voice. That's amazing. Alright, Dana, do JFK telling a joke. A man goes to a party. Forgets his wallet there. The next day, all he can remember about the party is the home had a red

doer and inside was a gold toilet seat. He travels through the town until he finds a home with a red Doha. Knocks on the door and retrieves his wallet. The owner says, how did you remember my home? You were so drunk. And he said, I remembered your red Doha

and your gold toilet seat. And the owner of the home says, you're the man who shitted my tuba. Too soon. Too soon. Yeah. Too soon. You're going to hear that at every show

on the tour, Bobcat. Hopefully. Hopefully. How many of you remember what a president was? Yeah. All right. So, Clark,

you get to go first in this next one, and then we'll switch the order up. Which way were we going last time? We'll go to Dana and then Adam. Remember when we used to shoot presidents we didn't like? Well, those days are over. That's, yeah. Too soon. No.

Said Doug Benson of Los Angeles, California P.O. Box That joke's a federal offense Here's a fun fact T.S. and T.S. Elliot Stands for too soon It's weird Alright

Clark you get to go first And we're going to name the films Too smelly. It's weird. All right. Clark, you get to go first. And we're going to name the films featuring the character named Ernest. Really? Yeah, you get to go first. Name any of the Ernest movies. Ernest goes. Feels like a trick question, but it's not. Ernest goes to Africa.

That is correct Bob Dana Ernest goes to camp is that what we're doing Ernest goes to jail yes Bob Ernest goes to Africa

and plays basketball that wasn't one of them I mean we did Ernest goes to Africa and plays basketball? That wasn't one of them. I mean, we already did Africa. But that was the plot. Isn't this a fun memory game? We just said all of his movies. Am I on Wait, Wait, don't tell me?

Peter? Well, I can't tell you. You just told me not to. Go to your lifeline. Pete, what do you got? Slam dunk Ernest. Slam dunk Ernest. Wait, I just remembered.

Slam dunk Ernest. Got it. Very good, very good. All right, back to you, Clark. Kiela, can you remember what... Kiela. No, I know that one. Okay, do you remember? You can't say, no, I know that one when she says one out loud.

Okay, okay, okay. Can't reject that one. Ernest scared stupid. Ernest scared stupid. Back to you Dana Dan Ernest saves Christmas Ernest saves Christmas very good

Yeah Adam Thank you Dan I'm going to use a lifeline Or I mean a phone line Your person's got to They got to fail yeah Okay

Lifeline who is it a phone line. Your person's got to They got to fail, yeah. Okay. Lifeline, who is it? Ernest in the Army. Ernest in the Army? Is that what we called it? Yeah. Close enough. Yeah, Ernest in the Army. Awesome. Good job, Casey. Good job.

Can I call my dad in Massachusetts? He's 88. What's the name of an Ernest movie? Run! Who died? What's happening? But was it Ernest Goes to the Army? No, it's Ernest in the Army. In the Army.

No, she nailed it. and didn't get the point. Did we already say Ernest Scared Stupid? Yeah. Yeah, I think we said them all. No?

Did we do? There's one more. Okay, well, don't say it yet. Okay. So Bob's out? Yeah, I'm out. Clark? The importance of being earnest.

I mean, I should give you a point for just remembering that. All the fun we had with it. Dana? Earnest goes to jail. We already said that one. But he said it with so much confidence. Had we said that one? Yeah. I thought so. Yeah, we were out of them.

Did we say that in this part of the game? We were out of them. But, you know what? You were the last person to say one, and that was essentially what I was driving at to make a nice quick game so we get out of here on time. So Dana Gould is our winner tonight. He did it. Read the animator. Come get your stuff.

And the two movies that really did it were Citizen Kane and Ernest Goes to Jail. Yeah. Yeah, that's how this works. You know, you've got to have a really broad knowledge of cinema. Congratulations, Dan. That's the Ernest equivalent, the Citizen Kane

of Ernest. And be very careful with his bag because it's not a two-bagger but there's some heavy beer in there. We should still

call Dana's dad to see if he's seen Jury Duty. Jeffrey Combs was on Stan Against Evil and he was a great guy. Oh, cool.

Yeah, he's a good actor oh cool yeah he's a good actor he's a good he's a good guy to hang out with right on yeah so the tour is coming up Dana that's the that's your big thing to plug tonight right sure anything else no okay so the what's it called the comic with two heads show two heads show with two heads yeah me and Bobcat Goldthwait all over the country. Specifically the places we like. Go to danagould.com

danagould.com for tickets. Yeah. And that'll be super fun. Denver? I'm excited for you guys. Is this city? We'll be there? It is a city.

Nashville? Okay. We are going to get bedazzled in Nashville. Don't know why you do that. But congratulations. Clark Wolf. Yes, sir.

What's coming up for you? What have you got to plug? So I think by the time this goes up. Promote yourself. It will be announced that the time this goes up, Promote yourself. it will be announced that the feature I shot last, that I'm in, Satanic Panic,

directed by Chelsea Stardust, coming from Fangoria, will be premiering at the Overlook Film Festival in New Orleans on May 31st. So I will be there for that and the movie comes out

later in the fall. And speaking of reanimator, I just shot a segment for Deathcember with Barbara Crampton. Oh, very nice. That's a fun horror anthology. I just shot a segment for Creepshow. Yours is better, but...

I didn't say that. Yeah, you win, fine. I didn't say that. Segment off. But yes, so Deathcember and Satanic Panic. Right on. Bobcat Goldthwait on tour with Dana Gould. Yeah.

DanaGould.com for tickets. I'll be bringing the fire. What do you guys do? Switch each night? Who goes last? Yeah, it's like, follow that. Yeah, no, I mean, you both can make it very difficult on each other. Yeah, by doing each other's material. Yeah. No, I mean, you both can make it very difficult on each other. Yeah, by doing each

other's material. How's your JFK, Bobcat? A man... Oh, shit. I just think, I don't think like a week goes by that I don't think in my head, you're the man who shit in my tuba.

It's so great. It's such a great punchline. And then in that voice is amazing. You're the man that shit in my tuba. I love it. Tuba. So yeah, I'm doing this tour. Hey, tell us about the tour.

I'm doing a tour. I'm writing some movies. You're writing some movies you're writing some movie misfits and monsters is on oh yeah you could probably get the series i did on i don't know some streaming service it was on the true tv which is the federal witness relocation network like if you need to cool down they give you a show there so no need something to turn off when impractical jokers is over yeah yeah that was a joke i wrote i said about the ratings of the show in the script it's like well what it's a what about the people that fall asleep during practical jokers they watch some of this show and she was like no don't put in there. It's making fun of their cash count.

No, you're not insulting them because they're just on all the time. Of course people are going to fall asleep to it. It's always on. Maybe that was what it was. I don't know. I'm a big fan of their reverent brand of humor. They're friends. They're friends with each other.

So that's where the fun comes. I like their skewed take on the modern scene. I've often said I like Jackass I just wish it was PG I wish those guys in Jackass would remain

on their feet I wish they would put themselves in dangerous situations Adam Ray tell us about it Stud man I got

an album coming out on Friday. Nice! Recorded at the Punchline in San Francisco, one of my favorite clubs in the world. It's called Read the Room, so you can get that anywhere. And then She-Ra season two on Netflix drops Friday, too. Whoa. I play She-Ra.

No. It's a different take. I play her talking horse sidekick, Swift Wind. Duh. Swift. Swift Wind. Is that for real? Yeah, and I'm just like, have you seen Richie Rich yet, Shira?

No. Is that for real? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I'm really surprised they didn't call me. You can do the next season. I could just hear Bob on the phone with his agent.

Swift wind should have been mine. Should have been mine. That sounds like a character. It's right up my poop alley. I met the guy last night and you're not sending me out enough. No, what I'm up to is uh I did a documentary call me lucky yes everyone needs to watch that thanks and uh and uh I'm currently I'm turning in that movie into an a narrative film with Judd Apatow so that's what I'm going to do very cool yeah that's

I'm going to just shut up it's really just sunshine and rainbows over there at your computer it's a movie if you don't know Call Me Lucky well it's dark but I think it's hopeful but interesting in the documentary,

there's a lot of speaking of things that if you have to go to depict them, that must be difficult. Yeah, exactly. I set an alarm because I valied park. And in what way is the alarm going to help that situation? Well, I know I got to go get the car. Well, they close at this time? I'm going to help that situation. Well, I know I got to go get the car. Well, they close at this time? I'm going to call you timely.

They close at 11. Oh, yeah, you got nine minutes. Oh, sweet. Stick around. Sign some autographs. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you to all of my guests,

Adam Ray, Bobcat Goldthwait, Clark Wolf, and Dana Gould. I'll be doing Douglas Movies at Malton Fest here in Los Angeles on Friday, May 10th, where we're going to do an episode of Douglas Movies, and then we're going to watch the aforementioned

Sing Street on the big screen there at Gromans, the Egyptian. Yeah. Thank you guys for being here. Next LA show here at UCB is on May 14th. And as always, positive energy! Yeah, baby!

Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies If you don't know SiriusXM, then listen up. Commercial-free music plus sports talk, comedy, and news. They have it all. And right now, you can get your first three months of SiriusXM outside the car for just one dollar. Go to SiriusXM.com

slash DLM to see offer details and to subscribe. That's Sirius, S-I-R-I-U-S, XM.com slash DLM. Offer available to new SiriusXM streaming subscribers. SiriusXM, no car required. SiriusXM streaming subscribers. SiriusXM. No car required. And now let's go out to Apricot Lane Farms for my chat with John and Molly Chester about their movie, The Biggest Little Farm. Hey, everybody. I'm in Moorpark, California. I can't believe it.

I can't believe I'm actually at the farm, the Apricot Lane Farms, where a great movie I just saw takes place. The movie's called The Biggest Little Farm. That's easy to screw up. I could have said those in the wrong order. And I'm sitting here with, how do you describe your connection to the film, the stars? Well, it's a documentary, so yeah, we're the subjects. The subjects and the stars and the photographer. And I'm the filmmaker.

Yeah, John Chester and his wife Molly Chester. Where were you living when you were in that apartment? Los Angeles somewhere? Yeah, we were in Santa Monica. Yeah, Santa Monica, and their dog barked too much, so they had to move somewhere. I got the idea, let's go start our own farm. Because that's a logical fix. Super, super smart fix. My girlfriend, we're having some issues with some cats,

so we might do the same thing. Just move to somewhere where her cats can live. There's a premise for the whole film that we made yeah yeah no that's and it's uh i'm so happy that the that it all you know worked out and that also you you you did it your own way and the idea was that you wanted a farm that had everything not just one particular crop or one type of animal. Yeah, the idea was to essentially reawaken the ecosystem of this land, which meant you had to infuse it with the same level of biological diversity that a healthy ecosystem would contain. I mean, that's how an ecosystem works, right? It balances itself through diversity so that you don't get epidemics of pests and disease. It's not perfect, but it's the way to collaborate.

Has anyone else, when the gophers show up in the movie, has anybody else said to you that you should have just got Bill Murray to come take care of all the gophers like he did in Caddyshack? Because that gopher puppet in Caddyshack, it's ridiculous in that movie, but then when you see the real thing, it's pretty similar. It just doesn't dance when the music comes on.

Bill Murray was one of our first calls when we had the gopher problem. You got to take care of these varmints. All right, well, that was a silly question. I'm going to ask real questions now. At what point does your decision to start your own farm become a documentary? Because you were a documentary.

You shot wildlife footage. That was your thing. And so you obviously kept getting footage along the way through this process, but at what point did it become, let's make it into a movie? Once I thought that I might have something to share, to say, because we didn't know what we were doing. We weren't farmers. And we didn't know if actually turning the engine of the ecosystem back on

was going to work. But around year five, we saw the return of so much wildlife that had like this purposeful intent that would balance out the issues we were having, like ladybugs coming back and abolishing, obliterating aphid populations. And the return of like barn owls to eat gophers and gopher snakes and the coyotes were starting to kind of work with the system at that point i knew i i had a very unique perspective and story to share with people that inspired me enough to want to make a film again because i really you know started farming because i was you know not inspired with the kind of work that I was doing anymore. So, yeah, you filmed over how many years? So it was eight years in total.

But the whole time, even while reluctantly not admitting that I would ever make a film about it, I always, I learned through the whole experience of being a filmmaker, that regret is way more painful than the time wasted to just capture something for a moment that you see. And so I was like amassing this footage over the period of years without really telling anyone. Did you know? Yeah, well, I mean, I saw the cameras and things, but he always has a camera. But he really did kind of give up the industry I didn't we didn't go into this thinking that it was gonna be a film and then he just started

Just capturing things a little bit a little bit more and by year five then he started talking really about doing something Then it got real. I think we're both like inspired that it was working. Yeah, that was year five Like oh my gosh Actually this is actually happening? Yeah, and you were getting footage of everything as you went along each turn, so it plays so beautifully. It comes together really nice. Documentaries are generally very good if you're going to a theater, if it's getting a release and you're going to a theater to see it, because something had to happen.

They had to capture something. It could be the biggest little farm. Look at this great farm we made. No problems. That could be cute, but I don't know if it's going to get out there in the documentary circuit. Also, this movie is so much more

life-affirming and fun than you'll find in a lot of documentaries because documentaries can be obviously pretty heavy. But is it... Throughout the film, you always say apricot. Yeah. What's your reaction to people who say apricot? Both apparently are right.

Right? That's my reaction. But you guys are consistent. Nobody in the movie says it the other way. We had to make a decision. I honestly truly don't even know what I say. Apricot. Apricot Lane Farms. Some people say apricot.

Here we are. I feel like Midwest is apricot. It might be a regional thing. Tomato, tomato? Is that like a similar? I guess so, but that's the thing about tomato and tomato. Well, nobody says tomato. It just sounds too elegant, too snooty. But better tasting. I just think apricot sounds more like a soap or a flavor.

It's just more artisanal sounding than apricot. Apricot sounds like an apple. Yeah, we're apricot. We're apricot. Okay, I'm glad we settled that. Thanks for properly addressing us. That worked out. Okay, I can't even read my own writing at this point.

Oh, so this story, this documentary, I think is destined to be adapted into a narrative feature film or TV series. So have you guys thought about who is going to play each of you in the movie? I had some casting ideas I was throwing.

I'm like scared on the way here. I don't want you to tell me. Can you mute that and then tell me? No, but that's the thing. It's got to be movie stars. So I don't think you're going to be insulted. I'm not going to say, you know, Danny DeVito and Rhea Prome. Although Danny is a movie star. But you know, it's going to be movie stars. So I don't think you're going to be insulted. I'm not going to say, you know, Danny DeVito and Rhea Prome. Although Danny is a movie star. But you know, it's

going to be like Clooney, Matt Damon. Who are you thinking? You're saying it, so it's better. Tom Hanks is a little old now, I think. But he could have definitely captured that. All those would be great. Or I was thinking maybe, you know, the real-life couple John Krasinski and Emily Blunt could play the parts. Yeah, I think that would be perfect, actually. I was saying earlier to my girlfriend that you reminded me of, like,

somebody like an Emily Blunt should play you because you never, you never seem to have much doubt about it. You're always very strong and to the point. And, you know, I don't know, you know, what's different on the editing room floor. Like, did you ever, like, did you ever get like, did you ever like yell at him for filming too much or? Not for filming too much. That doesn't bother me but I am we argue I mean we've had our relationship has gone through the ringer for what we're doing we're definitely stronger because of it but sure you have a couples therapist we have an incredible he's able to buy a summer home so we can

live in one home yeah learn how to you know, the way that's productive and not sliding into the areas that aren't productive because we're naturally going to disagree. And what we bring to the table for each other is the completion of what each other needs. So it's. That's what our therapist says. Yeah. That's what our therapist says. Yeah. But no, I think the whole experience of like being out of control in the middle of this ecosystem that we, you know, brought back to life, there's so much self-doubt and really

no one has the answers. So there's really nothing tangible to grab onto. So you're trying not to just sort of destroy each other out of fear. It's hard not to be frustrated with each other when everything's going wrong. You want to blame something. The movie gets to move on to the next success or something, but when you're actually living it, you have to

go to bed at night and be together. It's darker. It definitely was darker than the movie showed, but the movie was more about the animals and their story along with ours, so you couldn't go too deep. We are the classic optimist pessimist

in the sense that I'm kind of the never-ending optimist, but then that also can mean I have blind spots sometimes, and he's the pessimist who can sometimes weigh down a little bit, but he has sight and that depth that... Sorry, did that... I never knew I was like the pessimist. We need our therapist. Can you give me a call? Molly's like a hummingbird.

You did see more of the downer of the two. Like you were more likely to be like, well, this is, there's nothing we can do about this. You should be like, this is something we're going to do. I like to think of that as like logic. Yeah.

Practicality. Right. Yeah, absolutely. Well, that's, I think that's the battle of the sexes in general. Right. Realism versus... Your realism is her pessimism.

Right. I get it. I get it. Do you... So this farm is so much work. Are there hobbies? Are there other things that you're into? Or is it all about the farm all the time?

I dance, and my instructor, who has become a friend, comes here to a little room we have on the farm. And we have five or six girls who get together two times a week. And that keeps me sane. That sounds fun. Yeah, that's nice. I mean, I swim. That's pretty much it.

I used to surf, but now I don't have any time for that. We have a four-year-old kid. And we have boys. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, then also as filmmakers filmmakers like are you interested in other films that are out there like do you see movies much or is there no time for that there's there's not a lot of time for that we do i think documentaries are something we watch a lot of

john watches more than me for sure well on my show i always ask my guests what was the last movie you saw do you remember the last movie you watched? I think I saw Icarus last. Oh, yeah, that's a documentary that's got some twists to it. Because it started out being about one thing, and it ended up being about the guy that was supplying the doping. I saw Black Klansman. Okay. That and Green Book.

I watched all the... You watched the Oscar? I watched the Oscar run. You fall for the Oscar bait? I was clicking through that to sort of catch up after to find out what was all the... Yeah, what the fuss was about? What it was all the fuss about. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. Great answers to all the questions. I just have one more. Uh-oh. Yeah. I just have one more. Uh-oh.

Yeah. And did it ever at any point come up, the idea of maybe having some sort of spot to grow cannabis on this farm? We jokingly talked about that as our parachute. It doesn't come up in your family-friendly movie. No, no, it doesn't. The thing people need to understand about that is as soon as you grow cannabis, you now have to put in fences that are like eight feet tall with wire. The thing people need to understand about that is as soon as you grow cannabis, you now have to put in fences that are like eight feet tall with wire. And there's a whole lot of other fun stuff. You bring in more dangerous stuff than coyotes when you're making drugs.

Suddenly you need guns that have like a clip attached to it. Oh, yeah. It's a whole other thing unfortunately. No, we do not. There's no easy solutions. We have no plans. No aspirations in that area. Well, that's only fair.

But with our soil, it would be the best. It would be good. Well, the movie comes out on May 10th. Yep. Do you know how many screens? Like a few cities?

So it launches in New York in LA the first week May 10th and then it goes out gradually wide over the next two weeks

after that yeah several hundred theaters after yeah so get it in everybody you know don't go to that three hour Avengers movie

when you can have 90 minutes of pure life thank you love it you like that yeah it's that movie when you can have 90 minutes of pure life. Thank you. Love it. That's good! You like that? Yeah!

It's that movie. We're changing the posters right now. I'm already exhausted about a three hour Avengers movie. Did you enjoy seeing it on a larger screen? Did you see it? No, I haven't seen it yet. But I'm just saying that's probably your biggest competition right now. Oh yeah, we saw a screening at a screening room in Beverly Hills.

It's nice on a larger screen. Oh, yeah, absolutely. No, that's one of the things I would say to people is try to see it as big as possible. But any way you see it, if it ends up on whatever streaming service or whatever, it's a terrific experience. And, yeah, I definitely want people to know about it. It is something you can do with your whole damn family. Yeah, the film.

You know what else? You guys can stick around and help us with chores now because we're... Are you into that? That's what I heard was an option that you would show us how to do some stuff and then we'd actually do it because I know I love that part of the film

where you guys figured out, hey, if we just tell people, hey, want to volunteer to come work on a farm, people will do that. They show up. It's an experience people want to have. Those are all the volunteers that have come. Oh, I love that. I'll take a picture of that before I leave. And they've lived here, each of them have lived here for at least three months. Some of them

have lived here as long as six years. Wow. Some of them are still here and we can't find them. They still aren't working for free. Wow. No, they're not working for free. These are all, if they're here, they're now part of the paid team. Well, people should go to thebiggestlittlefarmmovie.com.

Yeah, biggestlittlefarmmovie.com. Yeah, to find out more about the movie, where they could see it, and then also about this place in general. Yeah, so then you could link off to that, to apricotlanefarms.com. Yeah, don't pronounce it apricot when you're typing it. It's spelled the same either way. All right, thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you. That was great. Thank you for having us on.

No problem. Bye.