Doug Loves Movies - Bobcat Goldthwait, Jimmy Pardo, Paul Scheer, and Morgan Murphy Guest

Episode Date: May 10, 2012

Doug welcomes comedians Bobcat Goldthwait, Jimmy Pardo, Paul Scheer, and Morgan Murphy to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats with 50-ounce and popcorn kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. Did you see, wasn't it exciting when an extra chair was added and an extra microphone? Like, there was just a snafu where I really thought I was going to have three guests tonight. Turns out it's four and I couldn't be happier about it. And I think you guys will agree. Let me get my script out of my bag.

Yeah, my bag. We'll agree. Let me get my script out of my bag. Yeah, my bag. I've got custom made from someone in Chicago. For the next few weeks, you're going to win bags with me on it. Dougloves Movies is coming out of my face like it's a puff of some sort of smoke. And it says prize bag. And as mentioned on the Chicago episode, I apparently have a gunt.

And I don't find that attractive, so I'm giving them to you. I'm getting rid of them. Our good friend Matt Besser has a motion picture called Freak Dance that is going to be on Video On Demand on May 15th and all over the place on other dates, you know and all over the place on other dates

touring around the country. So just grab these, pass them around a little bit and then there's a... I'm just going to chuck them at you now. Hey Jordan. There's a whole stack of them for you guys on your way out. So remember to get a Freak Dance sticker

on your way out. We're coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. I was like trying to figure out, where did I leave off? Which part had I said already? This is Douglas Movies coming to you from Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. Before Comedy Bang Bang on May 8th to Oceans 12. Since last I spoke and you listened, Graham Elwood and I recorded a rental to Oceans 12. Since last I spoke and you listened, Graham Elwood and I recorded

a rental car episode number 12. If you're a regular listener, there was a 50-50 chance you checked it out. And if you didn't, I urge you to listen to this one because we play a new movie game that I want your opinions on. And we also talk to a nice bus driver lady.

The first ever, like, just recording someone just because they're in the car with us. And you'll never guess what her favorite movie is. It's got a great payoff. Attention, Bay Area of California. I will be doing two stand-up shows at Tommy T's in Pleasanton on Saturday, June 16th, and Sunday, June 17th at 420. Each featuring a different opening act that you might know and might love.

People are scurrying like rats to get over to those seats over there. That was insane how fast you were running by. But I still saw you. I'll have a different opening act each day in Pleasanton that you might know and love, and we will play the Leonard Maltin game against you, the audience. Oh, and if you heard Rental Car Ep 12,

you heard Graham Elwood get stumped in the Six Degrees Hold the Bacon game when he was trying to connect Sandra Bullock to Billy Crystal, and a few minutes after the recording, okay, 30 minutes after the recording, I came up with, Sandra Bullock was in Demolition Man with Dennis Leary,

who was in The Ref with Kevin Spacey, who was in Glen Gary, Glen Ross with Jack Lemmon, who was in Hamlet, Ghost Protocol, with... I mean, Hamlet's a good one to throw in. Ghost Protocol. I don't know much about Shakespeare, but I know that's the one

that might have a ghost in it. Hamlet with Billy Crystal. So that's how you connect Sandra Bullock to Billy Crystal, and that's like four degrees, I think. We're going to try another version. We're going to attempt that game again in Rental Car 13 this weekend. Now it's time for watch this.

Not that the number one movie in the United States is the Avengers, which yeah, that's, that's probably the ratio to loved it too. We're like, okay, that was good.

I, I was, you know, sadly, I was disappointed by it. I don't know what was... Yeah, I know. One person clapping too hard. Don't hurt yourself. My hands are bleeding! I don't know which part I like less,

Tesseract 1 or Tesseract 2. It's a lot of talking about the Tesseract. I just don't... It sounded like a, you know, political thing. But I'm going to see it again because, you know, people do love it

and I love that it's so popular and that, you know, there's going to be more movies like that I just have to see that one again and make up my mind as those of you who did see it know there is something that happens in it that is funnier than fucking anything that has probably ever

happened in any movie I was laughing for three minutes the number two movie is Think Like a Man any movie. I was laughing for three minutes. The number two movie is Think Like a Man, which I will not see first before seeing Avengers second. What? That was high when I wrote that. So watch the Avengers not think like a man in tights. This has been watch this, not that. Today on the show, think like a man in tights. This has been Watch This, Not That.

Today on the show, we have a newbie and two oldbies. And a third oldbie. Yeah, and here's what they contributed to the prize bag. There's some interesting stuff in here. I brought, still left over from, now I forget who gave me this, whatever company made this movie. It's called Red Riding. And I know nothing about it.

Better than the Godfather is what some, that's, oh, some lunatic, it says, from the Shutter Island said that. That's the only insane asylum I could think of. Couldn't think of a real one. Okay, can't show that yet. Gotta keep that a secret. Of course, we've got one of the

Trouble Club comic books from Chicago, which is like an improv comic where each artist draws a different panel. We've got a green, beautiful green, Douglas Movies. I, beautiful green Douglas Movies I love movies Douglas Movies t-shirt we got from, I don't know what source

gave me this, a book that I didn't read called Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Dungeons and Dragons yeah, it sounds like a cute premise for a book, assigned by not by anybody involved with it it but signed a copy DVD copy of Caddyshack the 20th anniversary edition yeah I'm talking not

even not even the kid who played Noonan no but like he's a kid now but Doug Benson professional humor edian is in here. Some buttons with a clown on them. And this bag is interesting. We're going to talk about this bag when the guest gets out here. And then also two copies of a DVD of a comedy special by this gentleman right here. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my friends Morgan Murphy, Jimmy Pardo, and Bobcat Goldthwait.

I just saw you at Conan, Jimmy! Well, all people are yelling specific things at the guests. What did that gentleman yell? I just blah, blah, blah, Jimmy! It was directed towards me. What did you say, sir? I just saw you at Conan! He saw you at Conan. Oh, my God.

He's visiting from out of town, apparently. No one that lives here gets that excited about it. Dwight. What is it? Dwight. How you doing, Dwight? Good to see you again. My favorite character on The Office.

What? Nice young man. He goes around and watches a lot of live shows. Did he yell shit out at you? He kept his mouth shut like a gentleman. Yeah, there you go. Shows up here like an asshole and yells out. It's offensive.

You got Bobby C here? Bobcat. up here like an asshole yells out it's offensive you got bobby c here bob kak anything you're comfortable with i am such a big fan of dwight you like dwight yeah mistake bob i don't know 10 seconds i hate him and he liked me he looks he does look a little sketchy yeah wait were at Price is Right or did you just get a sign? I was at Price is Right yesterday. Oh, so you just got a show. Wow. Big trip.

So that's your name tag tonight is your Price is Right thing? You need to pace yourself. It's not a sprint. It's a marathon. Have a seat Paul Scheer is here also Paul Dwight's here

From The Price is Right? Yeah Dude Spin that wheel Spin that wheel Pachinko Master Did you get on, Dwight? No.

Better luck tonight. Not happening. Nobody picked that guy's name. How early in the morning do you get in line? When I drive to LAX at like 4 in the morning to catch a flight, I see people sitting out in line at CBS Television City. We had the second taping at like... I don't give a shit!

That's unfair! You asked him a question, you dick. You can't do that to my buddy, Dwight. Dwight, you fell right into that trap, you asshole. Answering a question. Fuck you.

Facial, Dwight. Facial. Dwight's a good man. Doug, you should just do that to us all night. I do, I do. That's sort of what I do. I think it's fun to yell at somebody that you just asked a question. I do want to say, Doug, I appreciate, no one else has

done this, but you rip the bottle label. The label off your bottle. You don't want to advertise that. I do it obsessively for some reason. Because, you know, I'm such a huge star that I don't want to advertise that. I do it obsessively for some reason. Because, you know, I'm such a huge star that I don't want to be attached to Arrowhead on an audio show.

You can get some of that Jen Aniston money, man. But seriously, it is 100% mountain water. Why are you touching my body? I don't want water from other sources. It's got to be mountain sweat. Right? I don't know. Where other sources. It's got to be mountain sweat. Right? I don't know.

I don't know either. Where's your hoodie, Paul? We're all wearing hoodies. Ghost protocol. Yeah, I would go ghost proto 100%. I didn't bring my hoodie, though. Wait, but then you didn't use 100% of ghost protocol. I wasn't ready to go ghost proto right now.

I wanted to go ghost proto. Well, thank you for coming on the wrong night. Yes, I screwed up participating anyway. Even though my calendar told me that it was next week, I said, I'm going to come tonight. Fuck that calendar. That calendar is a no-one's do. You're not at the calendar.

Yeah, that calendar is an idiot. Thank you for fitting me in. I appreciate it. I haven't received this many text messages in my life Since I've been up here People keep texting you? Is it Dwight mostly? Mostly Dwight Read it, it says

Clearly it's Dwight Dwight's texting you How much for a case of Mrs. Butterworth? I just need it for research The Price is Right has not updated that at all It's still stuff people bought in 1978. I don't know, a box of Tide? Nobody uses a box.

I haven't read the Arrowhead ingredients in a long time, and now I am. But it's smaller cap equals less plastic. We all like that idea. Who isn't green? But now it has a new thing that says, warning, the cap is small small and it's a choking hazard particularly for children where's my cap where did my cap go where's my cap no but that's extremely green because children are the leading cause of methane

but they make great fertilizer they really really do. So your backyard. Your tomato plant can grow. I put so many dead babies in my backyard. Great big tomatoes. Beautiful plants. I can tell you right now dead babies is going to be a runner tonight. But let me ask you this first, Bobcat. Why? Why would that be the case?

It's weird. It came up already and I've got it written down here at least a couple of times. You'll see. Bob knows what I'm talking about. So, is it true your real name is Bob Scratch Goldfarb? Yes, my real name is Bob Scratch Goldfarb. For show business. I actually had someone ask me,

are you Bob Scratch Goldfarb? And I said, yes. Because that's the easiest way to get out of a conversation with an idiot but if there was ever a lull in your career you've done a lot of great things and you're gonna continue to do so but if you hit some moment where it starts to Peter out switch it up to that go back to Bob scratch Bob scratch said it nowhere like you know Prince got a lot of mileage out of his name to

whatever that was. I'm thinking I'm going to change my name to Smiley Face and Modicon. Boom, I'm in. You're not smiling totally on this. Oh, you are on the back. No, you aren't. Both are the most half-assed smiles. Open mouth, half-assed smile, and closed mouth. It's called Bobcat Goldway.

You don't look the same either, but by my expressions, it really should have been my original name, which was Bobcat Goldway. You don't look the same either. But by my expressions, it really should have been my original name, which was Bobcat Goldway, phoning it in. This photo session took longer than to say click. Yeah. I honestly didn't know that was going to be the cover. I should have said, God damn it, flip it around. We're going to fix that in editing, Jimmy.

I know it. A lot of post on this program. Yeah. Jimmy Pardo is... Oh, and I should... So that's the DVD that I showed everybody that they got excited about. You don't look like me either. And it's also...

You don't look like me either. We don't look anything like each other is what it's called. There's no resemblance between us. Go shit in your flat hat. Well, Bob scratches... As long as you get all the words in there, it doesn't matter what order they're in. And finish up with Ghost Protocol. So, Jimmy.

Hi, Doug. Hello. Host of Never Not Funny. Has there been... Dwight didn't even help them out. Dwight did not have your back. You've had movie stars on. Dwight.

Yes. Sorry, what? I was like, you're a podcasting pioneer. Your words, not mine. I was going to say, I feel like you don't get the credit that is due.

You were a podcasting pioneer. Yeah, you're the Lewis and Clark of... You went out on the Oregon Trail, the digital Oregon Trail. Yeah. You went out there

and you ate some zeros and ones and you spit them out and you made a safer country for all of us. My pleasure. Thank you, Paul. There's probably been at least a few less homicides because of your podcast. I know, I've saved a lot of lives.

They can live through your anger and not go out and kill anyone. They know it's fake. They know my anger's fake. Exactly. It's a release for everybody. Like Mel Gibson. His anger is's fake. They know my anger's fake. Exactly. It's a release for everybody. Like Mel Gibson. Yeah. His anger is pretty fake. Yeah. I was just doing my anti-Semite character.

Have you heard that rant? That second tape is scarier than anything because it's so far away and it's like, it's so, God damn it, fuck you! God, you want a sandwich? Like, he does segue into lunch.

Now if he snaps, he should just go ahead and throw in Maccabees in theaters in December 2014. Like, he should start throwing in plugs for shit because everybody's going to listen to it. That's a long rant if in the middle you do break for lunch. Are you out of your fucking mind? Has anybody been to Crafty yet? I need some red

vines. Where are the goddamn pickles? The Jews fucking didn't put the pickles out. So Jimmy, you have a game on your show that So Jimmy, you have a game on your show that you guys call it Movie Cats because there's a kid, Cats, on the show

that's good at it, right? It's his show. It's his game. His idea. It's Dan Cats' game. It's something he plays with his friends. No, it's something he's been doing on his podcast for two years. Oh, okay.

And then we had a little, we were having a good time at one of the recordings of my program and I said, hey, why don't we play that Dan Katz movie game? Yeah, yeah. And then it's kind of become a regular feature on my program as well. Yeah, and I'm excited about, you know. It's kind of like when CSI crosses over to Hawaii Five-0.

It's 100% like that. You thought I was going to go negative with that, Andrew. It is a crossover event. So I'm excited to play that, but also, it was funny because I've been trying out different movie-related games on the shows, especially when Graham and I are in rental cars, and I

said, let's play this. I explained the entire thing to him and then we played it, and he never once said, oh, that's a game they always play on Jimmy Potter's show. I just played it recently and I was pretty good at it. He never said a word. So then it took people tweeting and a lot of emails.

Doug's ripping you off. What the fuck are you doing? You're playing Movie Cats. And so now we play it, but we call it Movie Cats. I don't give a shit. Yeah, exactly. We don't play it. I gave it up. Did you cut it loose? Graham's not that good at it.

Is that true? I want to play the cats guy. Dan's very good. I want to go up against him. He's very, very good. You should hear me play it. Very handsome young man. Well, now you're dangling this movie cats,

and I want to play movie cats. I want to fuck them. Yeah, let's fuck some movie cats. That's all I'm thinking about. Let's bring Garfield in here, and the cats from Tale of Two Kitties. I was actually, I'm more of a Heathcliff guy.

You know, Heathcliff was a little too blue collar for me. People say he was derivative of Garfield, but. Well, no, they're very different. They're both orange.

One likes lasagna and the other one. Fish. Yeah. One's a gutter cat, one's a house. One was street. One kept it real. When you worked with Bill Murray and Scrooge,

did you think someday that guy's going to be the voice of Garfield? Yes. Okay, good. Yes. Good answer, good answer. Oddly enough, he even brought it up. He said, Bob's Catch Cold Farm. You know where the real money is.

He sounds like you. He doesn't sound like... You know what I've noticed? I don't do me anymore well. It's just weird. Who's sitting in for him? Gallagher 2? Yes. When I tell a story

and then I use my popular persona voice from the 80s, it doesn't sound like me anymore. I go, ah! And that's not how I sounded. I lost the fucking magic. I lost the recipe. Someone left the Bob Scratch Goldfarb cake out in the rain.

And we'll never have... I can't take it or make it. Now Morgan Murphy you have been in every Bob's Trash Goldfarb movie except

for Shakes the Clown. That's true. Because I believe you might not have been born yet. What year did it come out?

92. Oh yeah it was 11. Oh okay. Can I tell you that I had a Shakes the Clown laser disc. Wow. Yeah. I had a laser was 11. Oh, okay. Can I tell you, Bobcat, that I had a Shakes the Clown laser disc. Wow. Yeah.

I had a laser disc of Shakes the Clown. What were the extras on that one? There was no extras back on Laserdisc. It wasn't Criterion? No, you had to pop it out and turn it over like midway. What a great way to enjoy a movie. 30 minutes and oh, shit. Put it back in. Do you know that when she was 11,

she lived around the corner from my house? Weird. We did not have that information. Somebody get on Wikipedia right now. Update it right now. No, but... I mean, she would be breaking news. If I was playing in my front yard,

Bob could see my front yard from his backyard. I saw her playing in my front yard, Bob could see my front yard from his backyard. I saw her playing in your yard. I don't want to know about your front yard or his backyard. I disagree. Hey, 11-year-old girl. Years from now, we'll be friends

and it won't be weird. Until now, I'm going to... Here's some candy. Could you hand me my ball back? Hey, little girl. Does this rag smell funny to you? I seem to have spilled gasoline on my handkerchief. Would you check for me with your nose?

At least when I woke up the next day and wandered out of your house, I knew where I was. Oh, I know this neighborhood. Lost but found. So, Morgan. Speaking of that, didn't you think Amy Smart was... Is that her name?

The Mormon girl? Elizabeth. Elizabeth Smart. Amy Smart's... Is that her name? The Mormon girl? No. Elizabeth. Elizabeth Smart. Elizabeth Smart. Amy Smart's an actress. Yeah. Crank two.

I thought Elizabeth Smart was going to be much hotter. I thought she came out... I thought that she came out too hot. No, she... Really? When she really presented herself, she was like really...

She really kind of sexed it up, I thought. Did she? I thought, you know... I thought she was kidnapped, people. This is not a lie. She was too hot, and she needed to be kidnapped. Have more ugly kids. They stay at home.

And her dad, instead of hiring qualified contractors, would get hobos and promise them a sandwich to come into their house. This is totally true. I'm not kidding. You know, Elizabeth Smart, she almost got her missing posters, almost got her discovered.

Hollywood, that's how cute she was. Because if you flipped her missing poster, flip it over, it would list her town. Good at being kidnapped by hobos. Bad at finding my way back home. Or back riding, but just in circles. I also play the harp. So Bobcat can't escape from handcuffs.

Your latest movie, God Bless America. Yes. Yes. Exactly. How do we see it at this point in time? It opens in select cities May 11th, but you can get it on any VODs. Immediately?

Amazon. iTunes and all that stuff. It's all on there now? It's in theaters now. May 11th. Bopping around? You're showing it at Bonnaroo? Yeah.

But, you know, I was recently thinking of, like, I want to actually make a film and put a scrim up and, like, bring, like, you know, Tupac came back, you know? And then, like, but have someone you shouldn't bring back, like Al Jolson, like, hello, Bonnaroo. But I think people are going to think that's racist a little. No, that would be pretty good. He could talk about the history of cinema. And then end with, God bless America. And then your movie starts. And Al Jolson would show up with super awesome abs.

Really defined abs. Yeah, like Tupac's. Yeah, because hologram Tupac, he didn't let himself go. No way. In the afterlife. Well, Heaven has the best gym. It really does. It really does.

It's got a great crunch. Yeah, they have a great, they've got the Pilates machine. It's like an advanced Pilates machine. I think if you were at Coachella and you were really high, and Tupac, what's up, Coachella? You'd be like ah that sounds like

well you know that someone was like oh shit did I miss that he came back there had to be I think there was at least 10% of that crowd

oh there was some smug assholes I knew he was still around publicity stunt so I'm torn between bringing him Al Jolson, or Jesus back. Because that would be pretty good.

Yo, what's up, Baru? It's Jesus. I'm back again. It sounds like this crowd would like Al Jolson better. I'd go with Jolson. Jolson, all right. He can sing. Jesus can't sing.

Jolson's terrific. Jesus sang like a bird. No, he did not. Jesus can't sing. Jolson's terrific. Jesus sang like a bird. No, he did not. Yes, he did. He just didn't bust it out a lot because the apostles were super jealous. Is that true? Yeah.

What did I do? Tito, the apostle Tito and Jermaine were really upset by all the heat Jesus... That's the new book you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was like 14 apostles. A lot of them got... Yeah, there was layoffs. you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was like 14 apostles. A lot of them got, yeah, there was layoffs.

You got the shiv, huh? A lot, yeah. Because like the dwarfs, there was like other dwarfs besides the... Famous ones. Yeah, there was like more. There was like Ray B.

Judas Dopey, Doc, Peter. Dwight. Dwight. Dwight. God bless America. God bless America. Has, you know, spoiler alert, but it's in the opening scene.

You depict an angry man with a shotgun, essentially shooting a baby. Yeah, but you know, here's the thing in my defense that the baby was an asshole all right everybody always concentrates on a baby getting shot but that kid had a really shitty attitude no um out of context it sounds weird but um yeah we do shoot a baby but not real i mean it's it's just you know special effects it's a movie it's not real

yeah it would have been it would have been cheaper no interest what did you shoot we shot what the baby what was it like

just like a watermelon full of blood oh no no no it was a dog you shave a dog yeah you shave a dog shave the pug

yeah it looks just like a human baby you can't tell because they're pink you teach it to not walk and then you you break their front legs you cut them off it's not it's very complex it's very easy actually it's very you guys don't freak out over it and and dogs like it oh that's the thing most dogs want to get in the business anyway so what happened was uh you know we do shoot a baby but it's out of context a little bit. But nobody told the parents who brought the baby that that's what the scene was. They really, the parents come in and they go, hey, what are we shooting today?

And the second AD goes, your baby? And that was when we realized no one had told them that we shoot their baby. You know, the squibs aren't that dangerous when you put them on a baby. No, so the baby, like I said, I need a really ugly baby. Like, I really did want something that looked like a shaved pug, but this kid was kind of cute, and the baby wouldn't cry, and he just sat there like, you know. And we'd go, goodbye, baby's parents forever. And the kid didn't cry. And he just sat there like... And we'd go,

Goodbye, baby's parents forever. And the kid didn't give a shit. We'd take candy away from it. We would take toys away from it. I love to tell you I'm a better man than this, but I got down on all fours, and then I'd get right in the baby's face and go, Hey!

And the baby would go, Hey! I'd go, roll the camera. And as soon as I ducked, it would just stop crying. It looked like Alfred Hitchcock. It was like, you know.

And so, finally I got the baby to cry. You have the worst baby casting director. Yeah, I know. I think the funny part of the punchline

that I don't get to appreciate is like when this kid's like nine or ten, like a police academy. Oh, come on. They're gonna be like, ah, that that's him it's the bad man so i guess i want to see the parents showing off their babies acting they're like oh and and you know and jason was in so many great movies check this out watch that

first scene so so what we shot was you know the mother goes don't shoot I have a baby and then he pumps the shotgun and points it at the baby so she throws it up in the air and then he follows it and then just blam you know and this is a blood cannon

is what they call and it had cauliflower and a bunch of other stuff and that just shot all over the walls and then we had a onesie and some diapers that exploded at the same time, so it looks like snow. And then Frank, or Joel's character, smiles for the first time. So when we shot the other side of the scene to get the mother...

He finally finds happiness. He finds happiness. When he does that. So I say to the effects guy, I go, hey, could you just shoot the mom's side? Just a little more blood?

And it's like a blood tsunami. Like, she is just drenched in blood. Blood went in her eyelids. Blood went in her, like,

all down her mouth. You can't even see anything that's not covered in blood on her face. And the effects guy goes to me, he goes,

eh, it's not an exact science the blood cannon wouldn't that be fun just to take out and put in your car we did the best in traffic when I did piranha 3 double D the highly highly anticipated I don't know how you survived the first Piranha. You seemed dead. I got out of there. I got out of there. I got out of there.

Do you have a lot of bite marks in the next one? Ving Rhames has no legs. I came out unscathed. I'm fine. I got a different hat. That's about it. Piranhas are racist. They had fish cannons. So they had all these. They had fish cannons.

So they had all these piranha and fish cannons, and they pointed them at us, and they go, oh, well, these, they won't hit you too hard. They're going to come at you, but it will be like a light touch. And Ving Rhames turned to me and he goes, just get behind something. me and he goes, just get behind something. For the love of God.

Just go. Get behind something and cover your balls. I got hit with a bass last week. So I took his advice. I was like, yeah, fuck, I'm going to hide. And I hide. The fish cannon went so far off

that the fish shot into the parking lot. So if they were aimed at us, we would have been taken out like a cannonball of fish. They were way too powerful. It shot like hundreds of yards into the parking lot. So thank God the aim was off.

There's no exact science. These guys are like, yeah, just fucking put shit in there. We'll see. We'll see. They're not in front of it. They don't care. Let's go to the metric to fish.

Yeah, it's like, could you perfectly invent something that makes something happen that's never happened before? And we only could do it twice. Yeah. Pounds per inch of fish being shot. But, yeah, so the baby gets shot.

But that's not what the movie's about. I like to say it's a very violent movie about kindness. And Joel Murray plays this guy, Frank, who has a brain tumor. No way, it gets funnier. And then he's about to commit suicide. By the way, Joel plays that role so many times uh he goes you know i'm playing suicidal guys so i i can tell the gauge of a gun by its taste so um he's about ready to blow his brains out and he sees uh he's watching my Super Sweet 16, so he decides to drive 400 miles,

and he shoots and kills the girl from my Super Sweet 16, and her classmates, did you kill Chloe? And he doesn't say anything, and she's like, awesome. So it's a spree killer movie. There you go.

If I had said that much about it, I would have gotten a lot of angry tweets about spoilers. I'm already going to get angry tweets about... I don't think we told too much about... That's the setup of the movie. You told it, so that's the best part. If the director thinks you can hear stuff about a movie... Look, it's not real. Tell them they can fuck right off, you know?

Someone did a study recently, like USA Today or somebody, where they determined that most people don't even give a shit about being told the plot of a movie. People are fine with knowing about it before they go see it. I heard that people see trailers and the funny parts in trailers, they go to see the movie to see those funny parts. It's not

like, oh, that joke is funny. There'll be other funny jokes. It's like, no, no, I want to go see i want to see that that joke again but with an hour and a half around two minute version i want a longer version so i can really dwell on it i really want to get anticipated ready for that joke oh he said it nailed it people get really if you if you give them the plot in the trailer, they're mad. Whatever, they're just mad in general about watching trailers. The people you hear from are mad. Yeah, the people who comment.

I think the average person... Yeah, this trailer, I've been called a racist a lot in the trailer because I don't shoot anybody of color in the trailer. So think about that. The baby should have been black. It was a lot of colors at the end. Wait a second. Look how far we've come as a nation.

Look how far we've come. It's really great. And they also call me a dirty kike a lot in the comments under the YouTube. Which is funny because I'm not Jewish. But I'm willing to become one to piss off these fucking inbred cretins. But I know what I think is funny, yeah.

And I want to say, no, it's... I'm not a racist. We shoot the entire reading rainbow of color at one point or another in this movie. We shoot all races. Just wait for the movie. Yeah. If you don't see somebody assassinated that you like of color, you'll get one in this movie. We shoot all races. Just wait for the movie. Yeah. If you don't see somebody assassinated

that you like of color, you'll get one in the movie. Yeah, exactly. I'm so glad. I'm really glad that's settled. I've got a question for Jimmy. Hi, I'm... Is the special edition Criterion Blu-ray HD

containing your scene that was cut from Dreamgirls. Is it a reality yet? No, it is not. Okay, thank you. Still not in Dreamgirls. Who was your scene with? I was introducing the dreams for the first time without Eddie Murphy.

How do you cut that? You know why? They used a voice... Every other time they introduced the band, they used a voiceover. They introduced the band they used a voiceover they wanted to use a do a special one for the first time with the dreams right they realized now let's just go with the voice over through the whole thing now it makes sense i didn't know that scene was missing right i'm sorry i owe eddie murphy an apology damn right there's no way you

ever sat through dream girl i. It's his fault. I watched it, though. I loved it. Yeah, it's good. I was just in Ross Dress for a lesson. They were playing the soundtrack. That's a true statement. What happens when that... Do you have a Sharpie on you?

Sign some autographs? We're happy to do it. Yeah, yeah. Why would you think I wouldn't watch Dreamgirls? You know my musical taste. You and Poseidon used to get so mad at my music when you'd be hanging out

in my rumpus room. Oh, your music. But I mean, your movies, you don't probably like. No, but like, you'd be like, why do you listen

to the Lennon sisters? The Lennon sisters. Yeah, that was the, that's kind of like. Do you remember the time we were writing in Seattle? And I don't even know

what came on the television. We were in a hotel room. Do you remember this story? No. And something came on. It was like, it was like some stand-up comedy,

like evening at the improv kind of show. And I just remember I took a plate of food and threw it at the television set and then went back to writing. You and Pazain were like looking for the emergency doors.

I don't remember that. Yeah. You were like, I totally don't remember that. He just threw a plate at a TV. You know, if you didn't like yeah you were like I totally don't remember that he just threw a plate at a TV you know if you didn't like

what you were eating I don't I probably and what's on the TV I probably was like you know I thought it was a win win I don't like this movie

what was the name of that movie we wrote that we never made it's called it was called Planet of the Chicks it's not what you think but wait but it was really it was really pro woman Planet of the Chicks? It's not what you think. But wait, it was really pro-woman.

It was the first blow against the war on women that has happened many years later. Why doesn't that be a special episode of Douglas Movies? A live reading.

Oh, shit! That would be awesome. That would be a crazy idea. That's a great idea. And then do a live reading of it. Do you still have it sitting around? I can find you a copy of Planet of the Chicks. Sure.

Like the best draft? Because we did a lot of drafts. I think what the premise was is that the film critics of the future send this killing replicant machine back to kill the two leading men. So there won't be a sequel to Planet of the Chicks. Because they really hate... Actually, no one even saw Planet of the Chicks. They sequel to Planet of the Chicks because they really hate actually no one even saw Planet of the Chicks they really hate Planet of the Chicks 2 I want to hear about this movie

I like this movie it was crazy meta before way before meta everything was meta Bob and Brian Posehn and I would just sit around at his house all day writing this movie. And it went off in so many different weird directions.

I remember. Planet of the Chicks 2 was a movie that came out. And reviewers in the future were like, we've got to stop that movie from coming out. So they kind of sent a Terminator back in time. The Ebonator was the name. It's like you sat there and listened to the premise and then understood it and repeated it.

I just wanted to make sure repeated it just wanted to make sure but we didn't what do you think it's about sounds to me like it's a but okay I'm not gonna commit to that we all know what happens in this movie you're ready to come for Morgan in it? There's always a part. Every part, you can find Morgan. I'm always some variation on a lesbian in whatever movie you have.

This last, I guess I don't have time. But the last, you're going, they always have me playing lesbians I go rewrite I made you the gym teacher put her with a strap on it was so like But, yeah, so Planet of the Chicks, 2013, we're hoping for wide release. You know what stopped us, our enthusiasm? Because remember we had a big part for Shirley Hempel. She was supposed to ride on a pony. And then she passed away.

From what's happening. So that's what stopped Planet of the Chicks? Yeah. Because we had a lot of things. Otherwise, it would have gotten fucking streamlined right to the end. Absolutely. We wanted the guy that comes back from the future

to try and kill the lead actors in the movie to be Henry Rollins. It was ambitious. You know, I actually now have a lot of enthusiasm for Planet of the Chains. I think it would be fun to bring it back. Let's do it. I really do.

I don't know who would play the other guy at this point, but I'm sure you could come up with something interesting. Because there's going to be a buddy picture, you and somebody else. Yeah, but I don't want to be in it now. Oh, okay. So we'll get two young guys. We'll get Charlie Day. Who's that guy?

Oh, yeah. Just get any two of the guys from It's Always Funny in Philadelphia. Yeah, because people always say that guy reminds me. Because he's always yelling. That's right. So we get him. I want... This is more time travel, but I want...

There's a guy who lives on the corner near my coffee bean, and he's always yelling as well. I got that copy right and so you tell that prick he owes me some money I wanted to do a thing where I time travel the 50 old version of me and I talked the 22 year old version of me out of doing hot the trot yeah but then you'd ruin everybody else's life thank you no I mean by not doing it as I'm saying everybody else yeah yeah no that's I'm so you would go back in time

Did you see the Avengers, Paul? Yeah. And? Eh. It was, there was some good stuff. A lot of cubes. A lot of, a lot of cubes. A lot of.

They were in that ship a lot. A lot of ship. Didn't see it. There was some good, the Joss Whedon stuff was good. Like the funny stuff was funny. And, you know, the Hulk stuff was good. The funny stuff was funny. The Hulk stuff was great. There's a huge laugh in it. I don't want to give it away.

Jimmy, what about... How old's Oliver now? 22? 4 1⁄2? 4 1⁄2, yeah. Does he go to the movies more now? We saw Pirates over the weekend. Oh, Band of Misfits. Yeah.

Did you see it? Those Pirates. It was enjoyable. It looksits. Yeah. Did you see it? Those pirates. It was enjoyable. It looks fantastic. Better or worse than the Lorax? I did not see the Lorax. Oh, really? Your kid's not

an environmentalist at all? He doesn't like the Seuss stuff. He thinks it's overwritten. A little too rhyming, Dad, it's too rhyming. Yes, I don't need... Doug, did you stay

for the second tease at the end? Oh, yeah. I stayed for both. Let's see. There's two. There's two. Don't put your hands over yours because you want to stay for both. You don't want to think it's over after the first one.

Yeah. We're not going to say what happens in either one of them other than the first one's not funny. Yeah, first one's not funny. Then the second one. Funny. Okay. If you say so. It's interesting. It's ballsy. It's ballsy. It's not funny. Then the second one. Funny. Okay. If you say so. It's interesting.

It's ballsy. It's ballsy. It's ballsy. It's kind of like, fuck you. We got you. You'll go see the next one. We're here. It was kind of like, fuck you.

It is like a fuck you ending. It's great. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the second part. It's positioned to be, it might be the biggest movie of all time. Sure. It might overtake Titanic. I did find, there are things I like about it.

Audible gasp. Some girl gasp as if this theater were sinking. You know what my problem was? I didn't see it. I'm going to just tell it. This is my issue with it. So they go, oh, okay, we got to watch, we got to watch all these, wait, I'm not explaining. You got to watch all these movies about these characters' origin stories.

Yeah, there's a lot of backstory that you need to know and if you know it, it's kind of boring that they're talking about it all the time. Well, okay, yeah, and then they get to this movie and you're like, well, this is gonna be great because now we know their backstories and they're gonna get right into it. No, then they gotta fucking talk about it again. It's like an origin

story for a team-up movie. It's like, oh, are we going to get the movie where they just start going and fighting like we get it like just go you should have a whole new career as the guy who says what was just said by somebody else you did it again

I was agreeing with it it's your superhero Redondo I like that they would do that was agreeing with. It's your superhero, Redondo. I like that they would do that because I wouldn't know what was happening otherwise. But that's a dick move to the fans. Wait, you haven't seen Thor, Captain America? I don't see a lot of things.

I think if you saw a biography on somebody, you wouldn't be like, I know that happened in their life. But I also just wonder... Well, I thought we know George Washington was president of that fucking idiot. Boring. Chopping down the cherry tree again.

Seen it. Alright, you guys. Malcolm X was shot? What? Let's see your name tags, everybody. In the audience. Yeah, show us what you got. Wow, look at that.

What is the razor head one? Your name is Frazier? Frazier, that's your last name? You're a girl with the first name Frazier? A Frazier. Okay, so different. So you made a sign that says, settle down. So you made a sign that says, Settle down.

So you made a sign that says, Fraser Head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you win the prizes. No, we ran out of time for the game, so she just won the prizes. Wow. Congratulations, Fraser Head.

There we go. Someone held up like Doug. Did you see over here, someone had a poster, and it was a Racer Head poster, but they had changed it. Woo! Doug, I did point out that

someone behind you had what looked like a dead baby. Oh, shit. See, I told you it would come up a lot. What's your name? Seema? Okay, Seema and her dead baby. No, we're having so much fun talking about movies that I just made the judgment call During this show

That this was going to be The first episode in years Where we didn't play any games And yeah So we all go to the tournament To champions then? Yeah yeah You're all automatically

In the tournament And I gave away all the prizes To just the person I agree with you man I agree with you Wow I agree with you Wow

That's where Wow Somebody just called bullshit Hard in the audience And that person's right I agree with you. Wow. I agree with you. Wow. That's where... Wow. Somebody just called bullshit hard in the audience. And that person's right. That's where you or that person should have said at some point enough about whatever we were talking about. I'm not going to interrupt Bob Goldblatt. I'm hungry for games. I wasn't either.

I'm not going to interrupt the plugging of the movie. I apologize. I feel bad that I was plugging. Yeah. What's it like, Bob, being on the worst episode in the history of podcasting? People call bullshit.

By people, you mean that one lady. Would this pioneer of podcasting, would this happen? Not on my show. I run a tight ship. You give the audience... You got where you got because you give the audience what they want. What do they want on Doug Loeb's movies? A game. Leonard Moulton game.

And now we're not giving it to them. It's a mistake. They hear it's a mistake. You think Dwight's going to talk about this now? It's all Drew Carey and Conan. Let's play a new Doug Loeb. I'm telling you, the messages are going to be, it was a refreshing change of pace to just hear a conversation. Look, I'm willing for you to edit out

my plugs so we can play the game. I love Doug Loves Movies. There's a good Doug Loves Movies game that I wanted to play which is called Name the Stunt Team on the Avengers. So we just go down until we run out of the stuntmen that were on the Avengers.

That's all you got to do is guess the name of a stuntman that worked on the Avengers. I we just go down until we run out of the stuntmen that were on the Avengers. That's all you gotta do is guess the name of a stuntman that worked on the Avengers. I go with Hooper. Oh yeah, Hooper probably worked on that. Hooper was probably on the Avengers.

He's a little older now, but you know, it puts on the... Thank you. I'm gonna say Pee Wee Piedmont. Okay, that's a good one. Great stuntman.

Pee Wee Piedmont. What do you got? What do you got? Ty Denning. We'll get Ty's on that. Sure, man. What do you got? What do you got? Ty Denning. We'll get Ty's on that. Sure, sure. Joe Mortensen. Okay.

Oh, it's back to me? Oh, that's Doug. Doug wants it. Oh, I get to play? Yeah, sure. Oh, okay. I'm going to go with Happy Sylvester. All right, great.

John Surratt. I'm going to go with Big Danny Boyle. You're supposed to say bullshit, lady. Yeah, yeah. Where are you? Is your bullshit meter, like, it doesn't get a good signal in here? What's the problem? I'm so bad.

No, no, no. She sounds so much like Dwight. Your impressions are uncanny. All right, you guys. We'll play a quick one. Oh, good. The show's supposed to be over. Wait, we're going stuntmen?

Wow. All right. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, everybody, we all tied on the stuntman thing. It turns out we knew more than most people would know about stuntmen, so it went on for a while. more than most people would know about Stuntman. It went on for a while. We've got to end the show

because Comedy Bang Bang starts at 8.30 every week here at UCB. We all want to get our plugs in. We've got things we want to say coming up. Jimmy? Nobody. We're plugging up.

Go play the game. I don't want that woman taking us all out. This is a new game suggested by at Dan Trippy on Twitter. He wrote, my friend Fred and I used to take turns naming movies that started with each letter of the alphabet. Annie, Batman, Caddyshack. We get it.

And so on. Dean didn't give it a name, so for now we're going to call it Fred Letter Day and we'll start just a temporary name people will come up with better names alphabet game I guess is another way to go nope I think Fred Letter Game I think you made the right call

initially you're first with the letter A Jimmy go Alien Better Off Fred C word Cabaret D You're first with the letter A, Jimmy. Go. Alien. Better Off Fred. C word. Cabaret. D.

Duh, duh, duh, duh. No helping our Bobcat. Daddy Daycare. You always drag your favorites into this. Jimmy. You do not play? No, I'll stick it out. I think you play.

You think I should play? Absolutely. All right, Eraserhead. Only because I had enough planned. I did not have an E planned. So good for you to play. Fletch. Going South.

Halloween. Ishtar. Jumping Jack Flash. Clute. This is L, right? This will be L. L's tough. L is tough.

It's not hard at all. Low. Oh, wait. Yeah. Low. Not. Low. Hold on.

Wait. Three. Two. No. One. Why did I bring this part You're out Lolita

LOL Bobcat M Mandingo N New Jack City Oh God Poseidon Adventure Q

Yeah Q exactly Quexiquotel When it's the is it a T or is it not? No, well. The ref? You're on R. No, no, but I mean as much as I can. I know what you're trying to do.

You're on R. I think you're, it's just like in the library. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that idea, but it's harder if you can't do that. Really? That's not, no. It's true. She can think of an R. Fred wouldn't have it's harder if you can't do that. Really? That's not... No. It's true. She can think of an R.

Fred wouldn't have it this way. She can think of an R, like Rebecca or Romancing the Stone. She's got time. Rocky. Why can't she think of an R? Why does she have so much time? She's got so much time. Talk went down real quick. You got an R? Rocky 3.

Nice. Oh, oh, oh, oh. R, S. Right? Yeah. Seven. What? S. Seven.

Oh, seven. Titanic. Underdog. V for Vendetta. Oh, that's nice. That's real nice. Win-win. V, what am I at?

Wait, you were at W? W. I'm at X? Uh-huh. Oh, Xan real nice. Win-win. U-V, what am I at? Wait, you were at W? W. I'm at X? Oh, Xanadu. There's only like two on that one. Bob Gatt. Yellow submarine. Yeah.

Boy, that was the saddest yeah ever. Yeah. Bob. Zerzy. Zoo, comma, we bought A. Morgan's out. Morgan's out. We're back to A, Alphabet City.

Blues Brothers. I went double B. C. Cannonball Run. Diner. What am I at? E. Elephant Man. F. Cannonball run Diner What am I at? E Elephant man

F Three Freddy got finger Two G, get shorty but don't really get them Because they'll masturbate in front of you H H

HUD HUD Old school Paul Newman I for H? H. HUD. HUD. Old school. Paul Newman. I for Bob. Three, two, one. You're out. Ice Storm.

Yeah. J. Jumanji. K. Me again? K? Three, two. Klan. Klan, Klanville I won this motherfucker

K is a tough one Thank you so much for coming Morgan Murphy, Bobcat Goldthwait, Paul Scheer Jimmy Pardo. They're all available on the internet. Douglovesmovies.com to check up on everything.

Let's see who Jordan thinks I should call a shithead. I can't see it. What? Really? Alright. As always, Lindsay Lohan is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another hockey. Eyes of Gold is viewing Alright, as always, Lindsay Lohan is a shithead.