Doug Loves Movies - Brian Posehn, Scott Aukerman, and Kulap Vilaysack Guest

Episode Date: July 17, 2012

An excerpt from the Comic-Con ep featuring Brian Posehn, Scott Aukerman, and Kulap Vilaysack....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, welcome to this boner ep of Doug Loves Movies. Why the cold open? Because I've got some splainin' to do. You see, we taped an episode of Doug Loves Movies in San Diego during Comic-Con, and we filmed it for my next movie, Chronicon, so we don't want to release the entire thing as a podcast right now. But I would like you to hear some of it, because it may be a while before the movie comes out and people will just be bugging me whatever happened to that episode you did in San Diego during Comic Con. So here's the first 30 minutes. The audience audio isn't great and if you hunger for games, I apologize because this cuts off right at the games part.

And as always, episodes without games is a shithead. Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug

loves movies. Hey, everybody. Hey. You don't have to respond to everything. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from Tipsy Crow in downtown San Diego during-Con, on July 11th. Free Slurpee Day, 2012. It's 2 Oceans 12. 7-Eleven.

Never forget to get your free Slurpees on 7-Eleven. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That, Comic-Con edition. Let's go into the audience. Sir, what is one of your favorite science fiction, fantasy, or horror films? Something in regards to you and I smoking weed. Well, I want to congratulate you for weirdest answer I've ever gotten to what I thought was a pretty straightforward question.

But yeah, I'll take you up on that maybe. Maybe later. I've got a thing I'm doing right now. Do you think you understood the question? I think so. Okay, what's your answer? John Carpenter's the thing. I had a mild palpitation

because I thought you were about to say John Carter. John Carpenter's the thing? Oh. Whew. All right, now do you think you got it? John Carr printers the thing. Oh. Phew. All right, now do you think you got it? Should I try again or move on? Move on, okay. Let's go right here to this gentleman right here.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Okay. Fair enough. But you heard the difference. Watch Chainsaw Massacre. Okay. Fair enough. But you heard the difference. Watch John Carver's other thing. Not Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This has been Watch This, Not That. San Diego

Comic Con edition. Alright. Everything's going super smooth. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Regarding the movie that I'm shooting this week right here at Comic-Con, at Bobbert Harris tweeted, what about calling it a Chronicon episode 420 a new toke. Yeah, I like it, but I'm pretty sure

I'm going to stick with Chronicon episode 420, The Empire Strikes Back. And Soulpopped, at Soulpopped, tweeted, after Amazing Spider-Man, they should call him Peter Parkour. This has been tweetweet Relief.

Tweets about movies. Now it's time for Not For A Metaphobes. According to At Real Vixen, R-E-E-L Vixen, the metaphobes should avert their eyes 20 minutes into Oliver Stone's Savages. I haven't seen it because I've been boycotting all Oliver Stone movies since Savages. This has been Not For Metaphobes. Are you guys ready to meet the guests tonight? The prize bag is insane because they all gave,

as their contribution to the prize bag, a giant prize bag that you get when you register here at Comic-Con. Who here tonight are Comic-Con attendees? And that leaves who here just lives in the area and just came to this show? Yeah. That's usually how it works out. The people that are at Comic-Con are at some sort of, you know,

fancy opening night dress-up-like-a-weirdo contest. There's a little axe that says Assassin's Creed 3 on it. I don't know. I missed Assassin's Creed 1 and 2, so I can't really tell you anything about it. Oh, there's just a whole bunch of stuff in here.

Comic-Con is a great place for hoarders to go and just get a whole bunch of crap and then just take it home and go, oh, let's put it right there next to that other crap. There's bags in the bags. This is crazy. And I brought a bag full of stuff, too. And that includes a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt.

And a copy of my new double CD, Smug Life. And my first CD, Doug Benson, Professional Humoridian. My Doug Digs It for this particular episode is a copy of the movie 50-50. It's the funniest movie about cancer ever made. So enjoy that. I brought an old T-shirt of mine. Not my own personal T-shirt, but an old shirt because it was brought an old t-shirt of mine not my own personal t-shirt but an old shirt because it was from an old tour

the Doug Benson pot the vote tour when I went out to try to get people to vote for marijuana it didn't really work but still a fun tour had a nice time and I brought some Smug Life stickers to give away to you guys after the show

for coming so we'll do that after. And, yeah, I think that's pretty much everything. Oh, more stickers? All right, let's get them out here, you guys. Please welcome to stage three of my closest friends. They've all been on the show before, and you know them and you love them. So please give it up for Brian Posain, Scott Ackerman, and Kulab Vilesak.

Thank you. Hello, America. They don't know that they're San Diego. They're not America. That's okay. Hey, Brian. Hi, Doug. You're your normal, high-energy self.

It's exciting to see you here in your element. Comic-Con is like you live, sleep, and breathe it. Yeah. You bought a bunch of crap for your child. You've been here for 10 minutes, and you already have 17 bags of stuff. Yeah, I'm loaded up, but I wouldn't call it crap. Some amazing stuff for your child. Is he already collecting stuff at his young age?

Oh, yeah, he's already a nerd. He's obsessed. Wait, it came from your sperm? Yeah. And he's a nerd? I shot my nerd goo into my wife's ex-cheerleader vagina. And we created...

I think he's gonna be a nerd cheerleader. I don't know. We'll see what happens Now Brian You play a sandwich maker In the five year engagement Yep And

My question is What kind of research did you do for the role Of a guy who makes sandwiches I ate a bunch of sandwiches for 40-something years. It's the role you've been working towards your entire life. I actually do love sandwiches.

No, I actually had to do a little pickle research, surprisingly. Are we still talking about sandwich making? Yeah, yeah. What's pickle research? No, the director... Because your character knows a lot about making? Yeah, yeah. What's pickle research? No, the director...

Because your character knows a lot about pickles. Yeah, the director sends me this email. He goes, I know this is weird. And he's right. But could you please, before you show up in Ann Arbor, Michigan, do a little bit of research on pickles? Because I might want you to improvise about pickles. And I did, and it's in the movie.

What was your pickle improv? Well, the thing where I talk about how I pickled a bunch of things. I pickled weed, I pickled my watch, I pickled money. But that wasn't from the research. That was just me being retarded. But the research, I actually did a little, and there's like three kinds of pickles, and that's it. And then I called a dude

who we all know, Dave Anthony. This was the craziest thing. So I'm on the internet looking up shit about pickles, which... Anyway. And then I asked my wife. I don't know why I asked her. I was like, I gotta do this pickle thing. She goes, Oh, you know, Dave Anthony used to work at a pickle

store. A pickle store? And so I called him, thinking this was gonna be this wealth of knowledge. Like, I can't believe I found one of our fucking friends works at a goddamn pickle store. And I called the guy, and he's like, yeah, there's not much to tell you. I mean, there's like three different types of

pickles. And I'm like, I fucking hate you. Wait, what are the three? Dill? I can't even remember. Yeah, dill, kosher, and then some other kind. Sweet? Yeah, that's like it. That's pickles. That's pickles.

Is that your spinoff movie? That's pickles? They should make a spinoff movie. It didn't do well enough. If it does well on video, we might do a spinoff. Yeah, yeah. Direct-to-video cartoon. What's that, man?

Oh, what's it rated? What's it rated? What kind of random ass? Chew the pickles. We'll answer any question about any films rated, by the way. Is there a joke we're missing? Is there something I should say? Yeah, it's not like he said he's making a movie about pirates. Then there's a definitive what's a rated punchline.

But I don't know what the joke is with the pickle thing. It's pickle G13. Rated P for pickles. Scott Aukerman's here, everybody. Oh, good. And yeah, it's true. Gosh, Doug, the lights are so bright up here. I'm not used to being on stage, but I'll see what I can do. My question for you, Scott, is do you like sandwiches?

Great question. Let me see how i can answer this uh yes oh yeah that's correct that's correct that's correct you're doing great and your ifc show comedy bang bang that's a big smash hit correct smash Smash. It's really interesting. You really find out who has IFC when you do a show on that network. Which is almost no one.

Yeah, I only see it when I'm in a hotel that has it. Do your parents get it? They don't understand it. No, I mean, Do they get IFC? Because I always run into that. When I'm on anything that's not NBC, ABC, or CBS,

my mom's like, do I get that channel? Do I get that one? How do I know what fucking cable channels you get? I don't like you swearing at your mother like that. I feel like there needs to be some

sort of intervention. Yeah, save that for your three-year-old. Is she still... The woman on the floor needs to be recognized. What is your show

rated? Does it have a rating? I don't know. That's a great question. They don't do that on IFC, do they? Because they can say shit and stuff on IFC. Yeah, they told me that there was only three words that you can't say. Do tell. I think I know one.

It's just like pickles. There's only three. FCC was how they abbreviated them. So then I taped the show and I just threw the N-word in there several times. And it turns out you can't say that one either.

But they don't tell me, by the way. Yeah, they think that one they don't need to bring up. That's sort of a gimme. I think most people know. Don't say the N-word. So fuck cock-cut? Is FCC?

I think cocksucker is one. That's a weird one. Because, like, who cares? I think they're all weird. Shit is the weirdest word to me. But you could say that. But that's the weirdest word to me, that there's still places where they'll bleep that out

It's like listening to that song About how that shit is cray Doesn't make the weirdest thing But I mean they bleep out the second half Of the word crazy In that song That was kind of what I was trying to say And Kulab Vlasak is here, everybody.

Hey! Dougie B. I like sandwiches. Co-host of Who Charted over on the really popular Earwolf Network. And what was the... Did you do movies on your last chart? Yeah. And what was...

Do you know what's number one? Number one is Amazing Spider-Man. Have you seen it? I have. What did you think? I didn't like it. So not amazing? No.

They should put amazing in front of, just throw it into titles regardless of how amazing the movie is. They forgot to add the Lee Bad after amazing. I think Five Year Engagement would have done better if it was called The Amazing Five Year Engagement. People might just say, I'm going to see that one. Yeah, I think it would work for almost anything.

Amazing Schindler's List. I mean, that was a hit anyway. That did alright. But it was an amazing list. It's amazing to be on it, that's for sure. And, uh, Kulop, you had a part in... I saw this movie and I probably went, oh, there's Kulop when you showed up.

But, uh, I Love You Man? Yeah. Yeah, I Love You Man. I Love You Man. And what were you? I was one of the bride's friends. I was one of the bride's maids. Did you say something? Like one thing to Jamie Priestley. What was that?

Or Presley? Jamie Presley. You're thinking of Jason Priestley. Elvis Priestley? God, I wish Jamie Priestley and Jason Priestley were the same person. Because then I wouldn't have to fuck two people. It really cuts down on my tight fucking schedule. Well, I could beat off the one while I suck the other guys.

You could do what to who? Nothing. Oh, Lord. You haven't seen... Scott, you've seen the Spider-Man movie? Yeah, no, we saw it together. We're husband and wife. Yeah, I know.

It's funny that you sat down with Brian in between you, though. I don't understand the seating arrangement. I thought it might be one of those things like, you know, when Amy Schumer and Anthony Jeselnik were together, they didn't like you referring to them as a couple and these sorts of things. Oh, they're not together anymore? How'd that turn out?

Yeah, that's it. As soon as you get mentioned on a podcast, then you have to stay together. Is this the gossip section of Doug Loves Movies? Yes. Let's talk about Tomcat. What's the latest with Tomcat? Oh, fuck.

Did you see Spider-Man? No. I feel like I have already. Yes, I said Spider-Man. Why? He's the amazing Jewish guy that works at your office. And eats pickle sandwiches at Zingerman's. How's the pickle account going, Spider-Man?

Hey, Spider-Man, you should have a less tight costume because I can... Anyway. Totally lost interest in my own riff as it was happening. I was going to get to the word pickle eventually. Spider-Bulls?

Spider-Bulls? Your Spider-Bulls and balls and your spider penis. You're not going to see it, are you? No. I almost went with them because it was his birthday. You feel like you have

to see it because it's Spidey. It's the old web head. You love Spidey. I do. But the word on it is so bad. Yeah, it's... Some people like it, but I just... Really taking a stand there so bad. Yeah, it's... Some people like it, but...

Really taking a stand there, Doug. Some people are into it. Me? I haven't seen it, so I don't have to have an opinion. But I think I might like it. I certainly will see it eventually, but it just feels like I need another few years. I think...

And I'm excited about The Dark Knight, but I think all superhero movies should have just... As soon as Avengers came out, they should have all said, well, let's fuck off. Let's just all pack it in because of the Avengers? Take a year off. And let Avengers own this summer.

And every other superhero just fuck off. That's my opinion. That should be in the press release. We're all superhero just fuck off. That's my opinion. That should be in the press release. We're all going to fuck off. G.I. Joe did fuck off. He's like, all right, I'll see you in March. I'm going to go get a coat of 3D slapped on. We got nothing.

Yeah. Oh, brother. So have you been to the movies lately, Brian? Yes, I have a child. From my balls, remember, earlier? Mm-hmm. So that means you saw Brave? Madagascar 3 and Brave.

Yeah, yeah. And which one of those two did you like better? What do you think? Well, there's probably less farting in Brave, right? Right. So you like Madagascar better? No, no, no. No, Brave was great. Even great even my kid like my kid gets

the quality difference like he kind of does he's like somebody in the audience scoffed at that no like oh your kid is so brilliant fuck you bill hicks anyway he is brilliant he's a fucking genius but uh no i mean he kind of gets... We've raised him on Pixar shit, so when we show him, he never saw Madagascar 1 or 2, so maybe that's what threw him. He's like, well, how do I follow this?

Yeah, they're hard to adjust to, and then they put on circus wigs, and it's crazy. Now, the elephant is Jada Pinkett? Is that what I'm... The hippo. The hippo? Well, that's him.

He didn't even know. He wants to know what celebrities are doing the voices. Because that cracks me up, the way they push the celebrity voices in the commercials.

Which one's David Schwimmer? What little kid gives a shit about if Ross from Friends is the giraffe? My kid will only see movies with David Schwimmer, so yeah, yeah. You don't get to go with them?

Is he a strong Schwimmer. You don't get to go with them? Is he a strong Schwimmer? I apologize. I hated myself. He apologizes to Schwimmers everywhere and drowning victims. Be careful this summer. Be careful. That's what it's all about. Have fun, but be careful.

Be careful. I have not. I do want to see all about. Have fun, but be careful. Be careful. Did you see Brave, though? I have not. I do want to see it, though. It's good. I liked it a lot. I've seen every Pixar movie except for Cars 2. Me too.

You picked a good one to skip. Yeah, right? Was that random? Even people that work at Pixar, I know a couple people, and they're like, meh. See something else this summer. That's what they said last year. What are their names? First and last.

Artist and writer. Scott, anything besides Spider-Man? Magic Mike? Are you trying to entrap me? Is this a sting operation? Well, I was very adamant. I was very much against seeing Magic Mike. I'm sure...

Wait, you fucking saw it? Well, let me tell you the whole story. I, you know, whenever I come to San Diego, as I am right now, I go see my mother, and I always take her out to a movie, and that's the one she wanted to see. And I was like,

can't we go see the Woody Allen movie? Or the Wes Anderson thing? I saw that already, but I'd see that again. But she'd just be puzzled by it. Moonrise Kingdom is a little too quirky for its own quirkiness. Had your mother been saving up, rubbing one out,

until you got to town? See, I probably shouldn't have. I should have just said I went by myself and rubbed one out. I was disappointed because I only had a boner like 90% of the time. And it's just so funny. Soderbergh just puts his Soderbergh thing even on a movie about strippers. That is so fucking weird that he made a stripper movie. And had so much enthusiasm for it.

Like, when you're watching it, you're like, he had to sit in an editing room and watch Matthew McConaughey's ass bend over a bunch of times and decide how long you should be looking at his ass. Like, this is about the right amount of McConaughey's ass. He's one of those guys that shoots like 80 takes, too. Oh, and there's just a lot of scenes

with all the dudes standing around with their shirts off hugging each other and stuff. And it's like, I just don't... If I were Soderbergh's wife, I'd be, hmm, where's this headed? I can't wait to watch it in a hotel in two months. But here's the thing that's not getting any press. Olivia Munn takes her boobs out.

What? Yeah. Like, I don't know why that's not the headline. How do you take out things that don't really exist? Well, Scott, they're not as big as any of the men on this panel, but nonetheless, they're not as big as any of the men on this panel, but nonetheless, they are still female boobs. Don't listen, you guys.

Olivia Munn. Who's Olivia Munn? I don't know who that is. Is that the girl from Tron? For realsies? Is that the girl from Tron? That's Olivia Wilde. Who are you? From Attack of the Shadows. What has happened to you? I have a kid I don't jerk off anymore.

Can you save it for when he's around? Triple no. Mr. Potter. Tape! McClane. Since last con. Why did you do that guy? Last con we saw Harry Potter together.

Yeah and I slept through it. And then I never went back and checked it out again. I meant to. The funniest movie that I ever went to and checked it out again. I meant to. The funniest movie that I ever went to with Brian that he slept through was The Mod Squad. And at the most silent, most boring part of The Mod Squad, all of a sudden Brian just is like... Wait, he slept through it and did cocaine?

Was he on Ambien? The whole audience just burst into laughter. It was so fun. Wait, I don't even remember that. Did we see a matinee or was it late at night? No, it was like an 8 o'clock show. Okay. What was the rating?

I probably got super, super high for it. I think that's probably what happened. And then it sucked. You don't need to have any excuses. We all understand. Yeah, I'm just good at... I don't want people to think I fall asleep in every movie. But a lot of them I do.

But in your defense, I do the same thing. Because we're frequent flyers. And you learned to sleep sitting in a chair and watching a movie you're not interested in. So then when it happens in a movie theater, it's like, well, I'll sleep through this flight as well. I woke myself up during Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. He was fighting somebody and I'm like,

what the fuck? He was talking to somebody a minute ago, and now he's fighting, and I missed it. I missed the first part of the fight. So wait, you did see an adult movie. Yeah. Or a movie not for children. And I saw the Wes Craven thing, or the Wes Anderson thing.

I wish it was Wes Craven. Wes Craven's Moonrise Kingdom. That would have been so much better. Yeah, I saw that thing, the Moonrise Kingdom. That would have been so much better. Yeah, I saw that thing, the Moonrise Kingdom. On my birthday, too, and my wife... Anyway. It was your birthday, and she insisted on seeing Moonrise Kingdom. We went out to dinner, and I'm like, let's go see a movie.

And she's like, let's go see this. And I went, it's my birthday. I want to see a movie. And she's like, let's go see this. I went, it's my birthday. I want to see Magic Mike. I would have seen Savages, but I bet you it's... I have not seen it, so this criticism is based on

just conjecture. Anybody see it? It just seems like there's probably scenes of Blake Lively getting the shit beat out of her and stuff, and I'm just like... Well, that's alright. Who, she?

You don't mind. You're like, what am I going to do with the other 10% of my boner? Brian enjoys extremely violent pictures. I'm a little more... If someone's beating on a woman who's not fighting back, I don't like that.

I don't enjoy that at all. I think there's going to be a lot of that in this movie. It is called Savages. It's not called Tea Party. Although... That's why. Otherwise, Tea Party would have been a good name.

Or they could have called it, you know, it could have been like an unofficial sequel to U-Turn, and they could have called it... What do you got? Slippery when wet? No, no, no no beware of falling rocks oh my gosh our long national nightmare is over

we did it so cool up besides Spider-Man is that your whole is that your testimony here today I saw I saw Spider-Man 3 most recently just to see

if I liked just to prepare well no to after I saw amazing spider-man uh-huh I saw spider-man 3 I like spider-man 3 better man 3 is better than I like it better it's more entertaining for me I'm saying all right I'm putting it out there some people are booing hey so people are going cuz Toby McGuire does does dance in part three you do recall he doesn't just dance it's like he's right he struts yeah did you hit yourself with hammers

during that scene or like how did you make that enjoyable i started to really enjoy that scene i hated it in the theater i hated i was pissed off. But somehow, watching it again, I was laughing. It made me laugh. He's real silly, you guys. Don't you guys miss Toby? Where is he? Where has he been? It's really weird.

He has such pretty wet eyes. He was in that movie where he was a veteran who snapped on Natalie Portman. Brothers. And then he was in... He's in Great Gatsby coming out at Christmas. Which I think looks really cool. I haven't seen it.

It's the trailer. The trailer's out and it's Baz Luhrmann. So it's all fancy flying cameras and stuff. And sets and costumes. You know how he does it. Yeah, Brian's not going to be seeing that one. Baz Luhrmann. Well, if you say it like that. costumes and you know how he does it yeah brian's not going to be seeing that one baz lurman well if you say it like that of course it sounds like everything he does is shit

wes craven you watch your mouth john carpenter of mars i thought he was gonnapenter of Mars. I thought he was going to say that too. It really sounded like he was going to insist that John Carter was his favorite. But John Carter's not the biggest piece of shit that came out this year. It actually isn't horrible. Did you see it?

I did, and it was pretty not good. Yeah. I don't know why they didn't use that for the campaign. Yeah, yeah, John Carter. No, it's not the biggest piece of shit to come out this year. I think they kind of tried to imply that, but it was, I don't know,

it just didn't... John Carter, you've seen worse. What the fuck else are you doing? The dog was the best part, I thought. There's a fun dog in there. There's the guy who played the dog is back there. Roof!

It's Andy Serkis' brother. Three ring. Fucking boo! Wait, if I apologize for my joke. Oh, my God. He has a brother named Three Ring. I didn't just make it up for the sake of being funny. I didn't know.

I'm sorry. I was making fun of you. No, no, no. It's a real thing, dude. All right, all right. Speaking of real things, is anyone hungry for games? Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.

There's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies