Doug Loves Movies - C. Robert Cargill, Vanessa Gonzalez, Mike MacRae and Chris Tellez guest

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

Live from the Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Doug welcomes C. Robert Cargill, Vanessa Gonzalez, Mike MacRae and Chris Tellez to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming, maybe sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again from one of my favorite places to do Doug Loves Movies and comedy in general,

Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas! Oh yeah, we're doing it. Is there anybody sitting here right now that's sad that they're not watching the Houston football game? No? I'm just always curious. I mean, clearly those people are just watching the game and didn't come here.

You guys have chosen a side, and this whole room is anti-football. Or people in Austin don't give a shit about Houston. Okay. Now I get it. So if Austin had a football team, I would have been fucked today if they were playing. Because you would have gone to that.

Do you guys wish you had a football team? You have what? You have a college football team? I'm sorry to disagree, but there are no colleges in Texas fake news anyway I don't know why the weed is good here you guys that's what I'm here to say

it's Sunday, December 29th, 2019. Thank you for... Look, it's right here. Thank you for disregarding the NFL to be here today. And for making name tags. Oh, shit.

I already posted that one on Instagram. Brian DeLorean. He turned it around so the whole audience could see it. He put a little fucking Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda's a total cheater move now, because who the fuck doesn't like Baby Yoda? But that's just like a regular old Yoda doll that you put in baby clothes?

That's a secret. Okay. Sorry. Well, because, you know, they could have made a shit ton selling Baby Yodas for Christmas, but they just didn't, you know, they just didn't know how crazy wildly

into Baby Yoda people would be. And they also didn't want to reveal Baby Yoda before you saw baby Yoda on the show so they didn't have time to make Christmas baby Otis yeah I got lots of fun stories like that I tell most of them standing in a circle everyone's just busy shivering waiting waiting for me to pass it. Oh, so yeah, so I got Baby Yoda. I didn't even look at the other name tags. I'm so mesmerized by Baby Yoda.

What's the, will you be my, won't you be my Nick Bohr? And you photoshopped me very, very well onto the head of Mr. Rogers Tom Hanks. Yeah, show everybody. Look at that shit. Yeah, oh yeah, lights and everything. But good job, Nick. Thank you. Yeah, thanks

for doing that. What's the Pirates of the Caribbean nonsense over there? Curse of the Zack Pearl. Curse of the Zack Pearl. Wouldn't that be great if your name was Zach Pearl? But it's just the Zach part, right? Yeah. Yeah.

What's your last name? Jacob. Curse of the Zach Jacobs. That just sounds like a really anti-Semitic thing. It's a wonderful life, but what'd you change, Wendy? Lisa. It's a wonderful life, but would you change Wendy? It's a wonderful Lisa. Isa, wonderful life. You know what?

The title is in four words. I came up with so many different names that could be in there. But it's a beautiful poster. We look great on it. And Dora the Explorer. The Lost Sophie of Gold. The Lost Sophie of Gold. Okay.

I look at this whole front table here, and I think that you're only here so you can make these name tags. You seem very, they're very polished, very well done. So it's car 54, where are you? No, are we there yet?

Oh, are we there yet? And you change it to, are we there yet? Okay, I'm going to get through all of these. This one I can do with no assistance. It's a Mars Attacks poster, and it's Marta Attacks. Yes. What was that fucking annoying noise those things made in that movie?

Oh, oh. Anyway, I see lots of candy over there great job everybody let's bring the lights down that was intense I either gotta get better at recognizing what these name tags say or Okay, listeners, this is a contest. Write to me and tell me what was just happening. I don't even think I'll remember the answer.

Would you ladies like to help me with a couple of my plugs? Doug plugs. Just read this first one, please. This Saturday, January 4th, the first DLM of 2020 will be taped at the Improv Brea, California to special

time at 3.30. Excellent job. I gotta get a guy to read this one. Twisterling, it says on your poster. What does that mean? I'm Sterling. Your name's Sterling. Twisterling. Damn it. Here, I understand this one. I know what

this one is. Dianjurus Liaisons. There you go. All right. Could you please, Sterling, please read number two? On Saturday, January 18th, the Benson movie Interruption of Fast and Furious 3 presents Hobbs and Shaw. Close.

You'd be disqualified if you were playing in a game right now. At the Castro Theater in San Francisco at 420, as part of the San Francisco Sketch Fest. I just pooped myself. Wait a second, Sterling. You did what? I poop myself. Wait a second, Sterling. You did what? I pooped. You just read anything someone asked you to read?

Have you no dignity, man? Go to Sketchfest, sfsketchfest.com for more info. Oh, also, I'm hosting two shows here at Cap City for New Year's Eve. Yeah.

Very excited. It's the second annual Doug Benson Austin Comedy Parade or something like that. And yeah, it's got a fun title. And we have a lot of fun. The late show's already sold out.

The one where at midnight I go, it's midnight, and then we all go outside. But if you want to have an earlier night, come to the early show. And we'll still have a nice time. One of the comics on both the shows is going to be here today, so we'll talk about that in a second.

Prize bag includes a Getting Doug With High t-shirt. I got my hands on a few of those. I think they're two different sizes, too. A Doug Loves Movies shirt and a Getting Doug With High, so chances are good the winner at least one of these shirts will fit them. And then a

Doug Benson pin from Rockin' Pins and from Alamo Draft House. I've got two cards that are redeemable at any show. Any time.

In Austin only. Austin area locations for, if you go to the movies at Alamo Draft House, you get a free popcorn and two free fountain sodas.

So yeah, I guess you should make sure you have four people before you use these two coupons. Or I guess two people, you know how it works. And then, and then a lighter somebody gave me that just says Nug on it,

which, you know, is pretty cool. It's hard to lose amongst your friends, you know. Where's my lighter? What does it look like? It says Nug. Oh, and I saw Frozen, the touring Broadway version of Frozen. I saw it at the Pantages Theater in Los Angeles the other night, and they gave me a poster. So, yeah, that's in the prize bag.

What am I going to do with a Frozen poster? Police will put me on a watch list. All that stuff. Let me make sure I made, oh, I've got an announcement. Jesus. So much talking I have to do before we get to this. In 2020, whenever we play Last Woman Stanton, the person in the audience who I choose to suggest a name has a chance to win a Doug Benson Rockin' Pin. All that person has to do is match the name that I have put on a piece of paper in my wallet like a fucking magician. Is this what you said?

I'm going to carry it with me until somebody says this name it's an actress a well-known actress and uh the first person who matches me is gonna win you know maybe they'll win more maybe i'll add an extra prize every time and they'll win a whole bag of shit so that's gonna be the plan in 2020 so look forward to that by the time I come back to Austin there still might not be a winner because this is out of all the actresses that there are so it's not gonna be easy for somebody to match me now let's get my guests out here. Oh, and I forgot to say when I... I've got more prize bags. Oh, my God.

This is just... Just settle in, everybody. This was going to... This was going to take a minute because earlier I forgot to say, we'll just edit this part out. I forgot when I was talking about where the piece of paper was going to be, I was going to say, we'll just edit this part out. I forgot when I was talking about where the piece of paper was going to be,

I was going to say, in my wallet! I was going to have fun with that, but now that was ruined. And then I'm also supposed to mention that you guys can get a pin for $10 after the show or go to rockandpins.com if you don't have $10 cash or if you don't have $10 cash. Or if you don't want to decide today. I know it's a... These glasses. I got these new glasses.

They're prescription sunglasses. And they're reasonably cool. But they're already stretched out enough that when I put them on my head, they just fall off. But then also, I can't. It's hard for me to... Anyway. One more thing. I gotta read something that comes with it.

Where's the piece of paper? What happened? Oh! This is just endless, you guys. The things I've forgotten to tell you about. Also in the prize bag today is a copy of the Doug Love Scary Movies poster. Yeah, see it gets a nice oh out of everybody

so it's nice to show that off. Made by Box Brown out of Philadelphia. But then also in the prize bag is a contribution. I don't generally like these contributions because people just bring crap they don't want anymore and then hope to get it into the show.

But this one, I'm going to read you the letter that came with it. Hey, Doug, several years ago, I recorded DLM here at Cap City. Remember the Britney Spears headsets? Remember that? He's the guy that came down here to record the show, which we always appreciate because we got to record it but uh he brought headsets for everybody and two of the guests were dudley and bob and they uh or which one of them uh bob thought since he had a headset on that

he could roam through the crowd and be heard throughout the show. Not just during the name tag part. Was anybody here at that show? Nobody? Holy shit. Well, anyway, you can go back and listen to it if you want. But he goes on to write, since then I've become a loyal DLM listener and haven't missed an episode.

And I've also gotten a job at Rooster Teeth, so I thought I would bring you these things to put in today's prize bag thanks for all the fun Mike Purtle you can reach him on Twitter if you want to Purtletronic yeah he brought seasons one and two of Camp Camp these are all blu-rays I guess laser team blood fest and what was this one red versus blue season 12 okay I think he'd Mike and I both thought that we get a bigger reaction than that but but I'm still thankful Mike for bringing those and for not making me use headsets ever again.

I mean, it was kind of fun and cool also at the same time, but it got out of hand. I don't want the microphones getting out of hand. You see how I have all the mics just sitting on the guest chairs? They don't even get mic stands. I get a mic stand, and they have to just have the mic in their hand, because then there's a better chance they'll remember to talk into it whenever they say something funny. And it's going to be a fun one.

Please, everybody, give it up for my guests, Vanessa Gonzalez, C. Robert Cargill, Chris Tellez, and Mike McRae. Hey. Hello. Hey. Let's meet them individually starting with first time guest on the show, Austin Comedy Phenom Vanessa Gonzalez. Hey, Vanessa. Hi, how are you? Vanessa on the socials. I thought you were going to say you're

buzzed. Yeah. How am I? Yeah, I really laid into that first part um thank you for being here i was backstage saying everybody's been on the show before i don't have to tell anybody anything but then you reminded me you've never been on the show before yeah you've just done the the weed show just the weed show yeah so how do you think you're gonna do at this today? Probably not so good. You still didn't tell me how it goes. But I'm excited to be here. He was like, every once in a while. You've heard the show, though, right? Every day.

Wait, it's not a daily show. You're listening to episodes repeatedly? I don't know. I've been listening to something you're on every day. Maybe it's the wrong one. But I'm excited. Do we play movie games? Movie trivia games on the one you listen to?

Okay, I lied. I don't listen to you. Well, I lied too. You're not going to be fine. You're going to have a terrible appearance because you're not going to know shit. No, I talk everybody through it. Okay, good.

Yeah, the guy to your left will tell you that he's forgotten how this works and he's been on the show before. He's my biggest enemy. It's Chris Tellez, everybody. How's it going, everyone? Thanks for having me back, Doug. When was the last time you were on?

Dude, I got the Facebook notification today. It was a year to the day. Oh, okay. Yeah, so this is my anniversary. Here in this very club. Yeah. Very cool. I come to Austin so many times a year,

I can't keep track of who's been on when. But I love that you guys always come out for the shows. The free one I do at Fantastic Fest, people always show up. They leave work or whatever. Yeah, we did a Fantastic Fest last time. I got to be on that with you too, so that was fun. That was more recently than

a year ago. No, this podcast a year ago, Fantastic Fest, was in September. I'm very baked as well, so I'm just like, fuck, this sucks. But I did sit in the exact same spot last year. I do remember this

angle. Do you remember who you were between? Martha Kelly, rest in peace. I know you were there, but I think Harmar was there. Oh, yeah. Rest in peace, but yeah.

Yeah, it was a terrible, tragic year for the two of them. Right after the podcast episode. I love how this became The Wizard of Oz, and you were there, and you were there. She is in Marriage Story,

and kills it. Yeah. She has a scene with Adam Driver, just the two of them. Someone texted me that today. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. It's the funniest scene in the movie and she's why it's so funny. I'll only watch that scene.

I know her! That one scene is the shortest season of Baskets. But that shows good as well. But we're not here to talk about people who are dead. We're here to talk about people that are alive. About the living people on this stage.

Which include Mr. Mike McCrae! Hello. Hi, Doug. What's up, dude? How are you? Good. I'm so good. I'm so excited whenever you're on the show because you are very good at impressions. Oh, thank you.

And so in a little bit, I'm going to ask everybody to do impressions. So don't make everybody feel too bad. And by everybody, I mean Vanessa. Because she will have no impressions for us today. You don't know that. I didn't know. She's got... I think that's part of the thing.

We all have to do impressions. It's not about... Nobody really works on it ahead of time. It's more like just... Well, you'll see when we get to that part. I'm so scattered today. But thank you for being here, Mike. I love doing it.

Thanks for having me. And also joining us... Third time, maybe? Yeah. Yeah, there you go. See Robert cargill we call him cargill but see robert cargill's looks really good up there on the screen uh for all those movies you write some of them very classy sounding name yeah actually yeah people meet you they must be like what no they meet me and they go do i call you c do i call you roberts and no you don't want people calling you by the c word they do anyway got it and um i saw on the instagram and I exploited it a little bit,

you were posting about meeting the great Stan Lee before he did actually pass, which this is the serious part. Now I feel like shit. Chris was ready to make that joke. I didn't even know you were going to do that. You were ready to make that joke again. But you posted about meeting him and how much he liked your writing of Doctor Strange.

And it was very moving. It was his birthday yesterday? Yeah, yeah. He would have been 97. Whoa. Holy shit. So he lived to 98? Or 96?

Matt. I hate to be the one to break this to you. shit, so he lived in 98? Or 96? Matt! I hate to be the one to break this to you. 96, I bet. Yeah, no, he was way up there. That was what was so amazing about so many of us getting a chance to actually interact with him and meet him. What, before he turned 98?

Did he die going through the quantum realm? What the fuck happened? And then they took away a year? Damn. So I posted a picture, one of the pictures you posted with him of the two of you together and said,

one of these legends was going to be on my show tomorrow. I am sorry to disappoint. And I had a little, yeah, I was worried some people might not have gotten the word that the gentleman had passed and probably will not be appearing today. Now I'm terrified. It's like, all right, bring him out.

I mean, I've always wondered what's behind this big weird wooden wall back here that's like, it seems like it's got space for something behind it. It's not a flat wall. So I don't know what's going on. Yeah, Stan Lee. stanley's back there surprise excelsior wow this is his best cameo yet

i'll try to keep it respectful well that's a fun question. For anyone who has an answer, you don't have to have an answer, but what's your favorite Stan Lee cameo in a Marvel movie? I liked the one, I mean, I loved Deadpool because he's a strip club DJ. That's pretty awesome.

I was always disappointed with that one because I loved that he was a DJ, but because it was Deadpool, Deadpool should have recognized him. It felt like Deadpool should walk up and be like, Stanley, what are you doing here? He's like, get him in all of these. Get out of here.

Go on with the movie. And then he just wanders back into the movie. I'm sorry I brought it up. I didn't... You know what I do. I forgot who was on the panel. I thought I could just have one of my dumbass conversations with people who know even

less about Marvel than I do. I like the one in Guardians. Don't they just refer to him as a creep? Like somebody like Rocket calls him a creep, I think in that one. That's a pretty good one. I like the one from Spider-Verse. Right? He's a

cartoon and he sells them the i see movies i like that you're gonna be great at this i like the last spider the one spider-man one where he was the bus driver yeah yeah when spider-man goes out the window he's like whoa that was crazy no he didn't say that but like no he has a slightly better line he says they've never seen that before. Like, everyone's all excited, and he says it's like they've never seen that before.

No, I think he said kids are crazy. I was like, kids are crazy. No, that's not true. Are y'all going to fight? Stop repeating that terrible line. I like the one from the one where, like, something weird happens, and it cuts to him. He goes, hey, what the fuck was that thing?

Remember that? That's one of them? No, I'm just kidding. I believed it. That wasn't Logan. Thank God. Rest in peace. Where are your fucking claws?

How many more times will we see him you think is that it or has he got a few more in the can I think it's CGI him forever right as far as I know they don't they had all of them like his last one was in the opening where it was all Stan Lee and Captain Marvel right yeah okay cool

yeah I hope that he'll be back I hope that Will's got something about not just Lee and Captain Marvel. Right, yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, I hope that he'll be back. I hope that Will's got something about not just recreating him. Enough of that. I'll live forever. He's already in 20, how many fucking movies is he in?

20 some movies. He was a cameo in almost every one. Which ones wasn't he in? 20-some movies. He was a cameo in almost every one. Which ones wasn't he in? It's a fun game, if anyone here knew the answers. Marriage Story? He's not in Marriage Story. I don't believe he's in Parasite. I think I saw him eating a strudel in Jojo Rabbit.

It's kind of a cool career arc to starting in your 90s being every single blockbuster movie that comes out. It's pretty great. With Endgame, like the highest grossing movie of all time. He wasn't in that. He wasn't? He wasn't in Endgame

he wasn't in Endgame I keep forgetting this is being recorded but he was in something that came out after didn't Marvel no yeah you're right okay

yeah see now people are saying he is in Endgame he's de-aged. Oh, that's right. Oh, what? Someone's right? I don't know if it's him, though.

It's somebody playing him in the 70s. So I don't think that's actually him, which is why I didn't think of that one. All right. I'll take that. I think we all win. Well, great job, everybody. See you next year. What'd you bring for the prize bag?

I actually, I am not just a screenwriter. I'm also a novelist. So I brought all four of my books, Dreams and Shadows, Queen of the Dark Things, We Are Where the Nightmares Go, and then my book that was nominated for the Arthur C. Clarke Award, Sea of Rust. And that was it. And you get a nice tote bag from Amazon Prime. That is enough. Also, you said it quickly. I loved the whole presentation.

Just pass it on down here to me. We'll compile everything over here in one spot for easy delivery to our winner. Mike McRae, what have you got for us? Well, I am also a novelist. And I brought my latest book, which is a flask with Elvis Presley on it. Also,

I know probably a lot of you have Disney+. And every Disney Also, I know probably a lot of you have Disney Plus. And every Disney movie is on there, except there's one film that's notoriously not on Disney Plus, but I have it on DVD, The Sword in the Stone, signed by me. I love how you got everybody very nervous there for a second.

I'll be doing a lot of that. And I didn't know about this, but apparently All in the Family released an album in the 70s. I have no idea what's on it. I have no idea what it's like, but all you vinylphiles out there can just give it a spin and let me know. That's it. I have no idea what it's like, but all you vinylphiles out there can

just give it a spin and let me know. That's it. You know, it's got the opening theme, it's got the closing theme, it's got Meathead arguing with Archie. You know, they probably have like audio clips from episodes or something.

I'd listen to that album. Well, you're not going to get it. It's from one of these lovely people. I don't think you understand how this works. Any of us on this stage can take for ourselves anything that anyone else brought. You have prima notta over the gifts.

Yeah, it's one of those stupid, it's like that stupid white elephant game or whatever. Damn Yankee. What's it called? Dirty Yankee? Fuck you Yankee. Yankee Swamp. That's it. Dirty Yankee? Oh, Dirty Santa is another one, right?

Dirty Santa? Dirty Santa. Dirty Sanchez. I don't know what Dirty Yankee is, but that's got to be something now. We've got to name something Dirty Yankee. But anyway, yeah. If there's anything you really want, you can claim it. So I would like that album.

Not really. Chris, what do you got? What do you got to tempt me with? Oh, man, I got quite the load, sir. I have, first of all, just like last year, brought me some fart bombs. What? You're the death of the party right there. They should sell those.

They do. That's how I got them. And then, man, I went and got some, like, I live like 10 seconds away from a Planet K. So they know me there. And I just have a lot of cool shit they've given me, and I'm like, well, I'll share it with you. I got Gumby, all right? There's a Gumby action figure

that you can throw away later. I got a little Jesus Christ keychain with a flashlight. Because he is the light. I guess I just put that together. I didn't even think about together. I didn't even even thought about it. I was walking out and the guy said, hey, you want this?

I was like, yes. I got a Superbad DVD. I don't even know if the desk is in there. It is. That's quality. For the listeners, it's an actual copy of the movie Superbad. It's not a terrible DVD. A roommate of mine moved out and left it behind.

You just said I brought a Superbad DVD. It sounds like you're saying it's not a good movie. The movie's called Superbad. It's the one with Jonah Hill? No, everybody knows what we're talking about. Okay. So this friend of mine gave me this vinyl recently. And do you guys know that game Fallout, right?

Y'all know Fallout. So the people who do the music to Fallout, this is them, the ink spots. And I listen to it without the game, and it sucks. But maybe you guys will appreciate it. I need the game, not my kind of music. I think he didn't like it either. He was just unloading it on me. But now it's you guys.

Also, somebody else gave me this little vinyl box set because I guess they thought I rock, but I hate it. It's Tang Records' The First Ten Singles. I don't even know what that means, all right? So I was like, it's taking up space. I got some Target bubblegum, Target cigarettes or whatever. You know, we believe you that there's more stuff in there. Do we really need to know about each item?

Yeah, yeah. All right, and in a 2020 calendar, free from Planet K. And that's it. Yeah. I really thought there was still more. The HEB bag. Is it my turn? Yes, it is.

Okay. I'll let you. Okay. So I brought, my mom gave my brother this Santa Claus. Wearing rolled up jean pants and flip flops. And my brother immediately was like, do you want this? I don't know why she did that. And she left the price on it too, because that's how she is.

$12.99. Santa. That's a big value. Probably worth half of what Chris brought. Yeah. And then this is pretty cool. Key and Peel hat. Only worn once. By me.

Are you going to Dirty Sanchez that? You took it? You made the rules. I don't know Dirty Sanchez, I guess. I thought it was something else. And then a candle that someone gave me that says, I just took a DNA test. Turns out I'm 100% that bitch.

But I took a DNA test, and it wasn't bitch results. Mine were just mostly Mexican ancestor. So you prefer a more truthful candle. Yeah. That represents what's really going on in your world Right So whoever wins has to be that bitch That's all I brought

Okay That's all you need to bring So if you'd never heard the show before And I was like, don't forget about the prize bag What did you think at that point? I knew about the prize bag because my boyfriend told me, you need a prize bag. Well, your boyfriend did a good job.

Yeah. We never would have known. Yeah. Yeah. All right, that's what somebody's going to win. Yeah, all of that stuff. So then we just pick somebody? Oh, you'll see.

Okay. Someone will pick you. I'm scared. Yeah, you'll be drawn to someone. We don't know who it's going to be yet, though. But I have questions and things to do before we get to the games. And the first question is, Cargill, what was the last movie you saw? I saw It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.

In a motion picture theater? No, I watched it at home last night. I'm in the WGA, so they send me a big bulk of screeners. I'm sure they do, yeah. We're just kicking back and drinking whiskey and watching all the movies that everyone else, all the other suckers are paying to see. Yeah, it is crazy, right? It's a pretty neat thing that they just send you all these movies.

I don't have a DVD player anymore, so I just have a nice stack of DVDs. I'm trying to see them all in theaters if I can. I saw that one in a theater. That one I give people a pass on. You don't really need theater sound or a giant screen to appreciate what it offers. That's what I figured. I've seen most of the stuff that's out now in theaters, but some of the other things, that was one of those where I was like,

I can watch that at home. You like it? It was really good. It was really cute. It wasn't what I expected. I expected it to more be about Mr. Rogers instead of this guy whose life is falling apart who does an interview with Mr. Rogers. And that was like, oh, well, that's good,

but not what I expected this to be. It was really good. Yeah, that's the tricky thing. Like, as soon as they were saying Tom Hanks was up for Best Supporting Actor, I was going, why is he a supporting actor in a movie that's about Mr. Rogers? And it turns out they found a way.

And that's where people are divided, I think. I think how much you appreciate that device has a lot to do with your enjoyment of the movie. I also recommend there's a very good documentary about Mr. Rogers that if you'd rather just focus solely on Mr. Rogers. That is also very good and also something that you will cry at.

Yeah, I didn't, this new movie, I didn't, I thought Tom Hanks did as good as you could do being a regular human playing this saintly, like Mr. Rogers was just, it was crazy. That's heresy, Tom Hanks is not a regular human. Yeah, he's definitely one of the nicer, but you know, like Tom Hanks has enemies And

Fucking Mr. Rogers Didn't have an enemy on this planet, I don't think You know, anyway This is for another smoke circle At another time Mike, what was the last movie you saw? That would have been two days ago when I went to see Star Wars

Episode IX The Rise of Skywalker Yeah How'd you do? I enjoyed it, actually because I enjoy the endless recycling of characters

and plot lines. Your pathetic rebellion will be crushed by the awesome power of this battle station. I mean giant fleet of ships. Fuck. Okay, cut. Sorry. Sorry. I mean, that guy's alive still?

What the fuck? They really pulled out, yeah, cover your ears if you haven't seen it or whatever. They got Han Solo back in this one. It's like, what? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing in this movie. I'm not even like a glowing Jedi. I'm just a fucking hallucination

alright fine the best part about that though is like you can tell that there was a moment where someone said okay Mr. Ford we need to get you to hair and makeup and he goes no I'm good just put me in a scene where it's really windy no need to worry about it

there you don't need to worry about air how much am I getting paid for this spoiler alert a lot yeah I think if you have the force or know anyone who has the force death means nothing you can just show up and chat you'll be coming back, baby. You can also fucking, like, Kylo Ren and Rey

do fucking FaceTime just in their heads. They fucking fight each other? How are they? What's gonna happen in that fight if somebody really connects? They're not even in the same planet. Yeah, one of them spilled, like, fruit into the other

one's world. Remember that? Like some basket of fucking pomegranates, space grapes, or whatever. Fucking just flew right at the dude. Fuck it. Just make anything happen.

Oh, ladies are so disappointed they didn't get to see Adam Driver's space grapes. I have grapes. That was good. That was good. I also said, did you spill grapes on me?

Are you thinking about my grapes? Or is that your favorite? That'd be funny if they tried to do that thing where they want to fight as long as the other one won't take the call. Get out of my head all right Chris what'd you see man uh well I'm gonna go see Star Wars tomorrow now uh I wasn't planning on it but it sounds amazing uh but last one I saw on Christmas I went to go see Uncut Gems. Yeah, so. Great Christmas movie. I did the same thing. Yeah, I was just with another one of my single, lonely friends.

I was like, this is perfect. Just all the stress. Because there's nothing. I mean, that movie is just. They make you actually feel something. Like, all the commotion in it is just, like, really stressful for me. But I loved it. It's like an episode of The Office.

You know, that kind of uncomfortable. But also, lives are on the line. Yes. So there's only a few episodes of The Office that get that scary. Like when the bat gets in there. Damn. White traps in a bag on Meredith's head.

That's terrifying. I loved it. I felt very comfortable watching that. But I was going to say, have you seen Good Time, the other Shafty Brother film? Same feeling. It's amazing. It feels like that's going to be their thing. We'll see

how that works over time, but I'd be happy if they did something else. Yeah. I think Uncut Gems is a really, really well-made movie, but it's difficult to watch. Yeah, I kind of forget you're watching Adam Sandler for a while. For sure.

He's so fucking good in this movie. Yeah, he does a great job, but the movie itself is just constant tension. It's like you were saying, there's a lot of things going on all the time, a lot of yelling. You're like, how does one there's a lot of things going on all the time, a lot of yelling. How does one person handle that kind of stress? I cannot.

It's like they filmed a day in New York. Yeah, there's always a phone call happening while you're talking to someone. I noticed that was the key. Oh, always. Yeah. There's at least a dozen times in that movie where he's arguing with his wife.

Yeah, there's a dozen times in that movie where he's like, fuck you, and somebody else is like, no, no, no, the person on the phone. Oh, okay. You know, okay, well, you're looking at me while you say it. Yeah, and then somebody's like, hey, someone's here to see you at the same time. It's awesome. Yeah. Okay. Vanessa?

I felt like I just watched Uncut Gems right now. Y'all were into it. Last movie I saw in the theaters was also Star Wars because my boyfriend made me. I didn't get it. I went to the bathroom three times. How many times did you leave the theater? That's good. That's good.

That's good. Just for the last time. You're finally like, I should do something about this. I was like, I'm sorry, I have to get up. But the last movie I was like, after that whole

confusion I went home and I watched Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. But the last movie, I was like, after that whole confusion, I went home and I watched Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. Because I saw it was leaving HBO soon, so I was like, I should watch that. Yeah, it's a good way to get your head straight after all that Star Wars madness. Yeah. And it's good. I went back and I was like, man, they just like chopped up an old lady and put her in a truck. And lived for two months.

And then the mom came back and was like, what happened? And they were all scared. And I was like, just say she left. The mom's not going to know. I briefly had this confused in my mind with the babysitter. What's the other one? The Elizabeth Shue?

Oh, Adventures in Babysitter. Adventures in Babysitter. So I was like, what the fuck? I don't remember that shit. Different movie, darker times. This is Christina Applegate. It's crazy that she fell in love while her mom was out of town

and didn't even care about the old lady. Also, this bitch got hired at 18 at this major corporation. And everyone's like, you're 23, right? I'm right on top of that, Rose. You could do that in the 90s, though.

No internet, no... That's a child. And she smoked cigarettes, and yeah, that was great. See, you do impressions, you just don't think about it. I did. Yeah. You bring it out in me. You got any others?

Impressions? You want me to come back to you? Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's go to Chris. Chris, you know, you don't have to? Yeah, yeah. Let's go to Chris. Chris, you know, you don't have to have any, but it doesn't have to be a famous person. It could be an impression of somebody you know.

Oh, man. You know, because then that way none of us will know if it's any good or not. It comes with a back story, though. No, I'm just joking. There is a guy that I know that I do a great impression of, but nobody knows him. I don't have a celebrity. Does he say funny things sometimes? He just has a really weird voice.

Let's hear it. He'll just go like, maybe you guys don't know local comic people, but he would just be, it's hard to do. Hey dude, what's up? Good to see you. Sounds just like it. Is that me?

That's why the impression's so good. Because you're like, I've got three possibilities already ranked in my head. I just don't want to say his name because I don't want to promote him. That's the hard thing. It's like a friend, but he's not a friend. So he's like,

how's it going? Is it going good? No, it's a weird plug. Hey, check out this guy's weird voice in real life. I know he'll listen to this and be like, what the fuck? What the fuck? You know, like. It's a weird voice.

What the fuck? Yeah. Okay. I thought he just walked in. Who does that sound like? What does that sound like to you, Mike? Not a real comic, but like, who else does that voice sound like? What does that sound like to you, Mike? Not a real comic, but like, who else does that voice sound like?

Do it again? Do what you just did. Hey, man, how's it going? I hate myself more every time I do it, but I like doing it. Hey, what's going on, man? Yeah, because it kind of sounds like somebody. What's going on?

I did it once to his face? Was that Matt Beard? Like he was going to have a heart attack. No, no. It sounded more like Matt Beard and like on something. Like kind of Joe Pesci and Lethal Weapon or two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, that's, I could, I guess I could do a Pesci now.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying is you probably can do an impression that sounds like that guy without having... I can't. It's Home Alone. I don't know. That's pretty good. Pesci? No, that was good. That was on the first go. Imagine if I try it out.

Send some SNL auditions. Who wants to do it? Can anybody do Daniel Stern? We got a whole Web Bandits routine we could do here. Oh, I got it. Here we go. Hold on. He snakes.

He kept saying the name snakes. Is that good? I recognize that as a moment from that movie. I don't know if you sounded like Howard. Oh, okay. Howard. It's more Macaulay Culkin, I think. Oh, that's when he has a spider on him.

Yeah, yeah. That's good. Did I do it? That is it. S-N-L, here I come. Me doing the peshy, you doing the Stern. We're good. No, me by myself.

All right, that's fine. That hurt. I'm happy for your success. All right, Mike, here we are. It's a moment of truth. Have you tried Daniel Stern? No, no, no. I could try.

No, I just nailed it. Growing up in the 60s was weird. There was a war, and I was in love with a... No, never mind. It wasn't so bad. It wasn't so bad. But what do you got? What's your latest impression that you've been doing?

Well, the one I do to amuse myself and my friends the most is Al Pacino from The Irishman. I watch that and I just get fucking doing that all the time. How's he sounding that? Well, he's got like, so he's playing a guy from Detroit and so he has a kind of Midwestern accent, but you can see him

reminding himself during the dialogue that that's how he's supposed to talk. It's my union, Frank. They're not going to take it away from me. It's my union. It's my union. You fucking idiots. How can you be so

fucking dumb, you dumb motherfuckers? He really leaned into that at the end. They wouldn't dare. They wouldn't dare. They wouldn't dare. We did everything we could for the guy. I haven't seen it yet. Oh, really?

Yeah, it just feels like work. Oh. I loved it. Oh, really? Yeah, it just feels like work. Oh. You know, it's... I loved it. It's funny that Scorsese, you know, was trashing, you know, Marvel movies because I sit down and watch Endgame again in a heartbeat, and it's just as long,

but it feels like, you know, fun, you know? The Irishman doesn't seem like it's going to be fun. But now that you did that Pacino, I'm into it. Oh, yeah. For that alone, him just yelling at those dudes in that boardroom. It's hilarious. It's the funniest moment of the movies this year. I've got to watch it. I'm going to watch it. It's just setting aside three hours. It's a slog.

And I haven't been in the right town at the right time for it to be at a draft house Because I'd love to see that at a draft house Because I'd have like Two or three course meal during it You're missing out, Doug You gotta watch it Every movie he says hoo-ah It's weird

It was the scent of a woman And it stuck like a broken record Every movie he says hoo-ah, it's weird. Hoo-ah. He got, it was set of a woman, and he got, it stuck like a broken record. And every movie after that, he'd go, hoo-ah. Well, he won an Oscar for that once. He's like, I gotta do that same shit over again. I just mean that same fucking thing. It'd be so funny if no matter what character

he's playing, like on set, he does some hoo-ahs right before they say action just to get it out of his system exercise that's his foremost exercise okay i'm ready to play cavarkey because cavorkian never do i do uh pacino as cavorkian saying... Do Pacino as Kevorkian saying, I've never seen that movie before, but look, you're going to fucking die in five minutes. I don't think Kevorkian swears.

It'll be $10,000. I'm the doctor. You pay me to kill you. I'm wearing the same wig from Godfather 3. How about that? I'm wearing the same wig from Godfather 3. How about that? I'm not chewing gum ever again. The impression's always him chewing gum.

Yeah, I heard a little Phil Spector creep in there. He's just playing all the famous people. All right, finally we know what... Who's he? He's Hoffa in The Irishman, right? Yeah. Yeah. So finally. I've always wondered

what Hoffa sounds like. Now we know. Not like that. Can you imagine? Well, the thing, I watched Hoffa, the Nicholson movie, the night before,

and he's like a completely different characterization. That's hilarious. Yeah, yeah. Nicholson movie, the night before. And it's like a completely different characterization. That's hilarious. Yeah, yeah. Nicholson's like, he does a nasal thing. He's like, hmm. You know how in The Departed when Nicholson goes, like, there's a rat in here.

A stick and a rat. That's how he's talking throughout the entire movie of Hoffa. Oh, no. He's like, hey, we're running a union. Just an observation, sorry. But guys were thinking that was going somewhere. Nope, not at all. Yeah, I didn't like Hoffa,

the movie or the man. I'll go out and live. Well, I think you won that one. Yeah, I did outlive him. Cargill. Yeah. You got an impression for us after you've heard all these professional comedians? I do exactly one impression that I nail.

Every other impression I'm terrible at, but I do one that I nail. But I'm going to need a beer if someone can give me a pearl snap. Interesting. Well, because it always messes with my throat. But for the people in attendance. Another pearl snap for Cargill, please. Here it comes. This is the only one I do.

I'll get you, Gadget, next time. Next time. Wow. Back to the audience for that one. And that's it. That's my only talent. That was really good. What was that from?

The Irishman. You've got to watch it. All right, you guys. Your natural speaking voice sounds like someone. I'll figure out who it is. I'll tell you who it is, and it will ruin me forever. Everybody does this at some point. They go, wait, you sound like somebody.

And eventually they'll go, wait, you sound like someone on the radio. And then you'll wake up in the middle of the night screaming, going, Gargiel sounds like Danny Bonaduce. I do, don't I? It's Jay Whitecott. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Local reference. Yeah, it's a local comic. That's Jay Whitecott. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Local reference.

Yeah, it's a local comic. That's who it is. So it's a guy you don't know. I also sound like Danny Bonaduce. Well, when I met you, I was like, this guy sounds like Danny Bonaduce. I think you sound like too many cigarettes. That was about two decades worth, yeah. Well, I'm going to sound like Bane sort of right now and say,

Let the games begin! We got some beautiful name tags for you guys to choose from. And whoa, Cargill went for Baby Yoda before anybody else could get it. That's a sneaky move. How much is that money for? Oh, the guy's got a dollar. He's holding up a dollar. That's from a strip club?

Vanessa's going to love that. Alright, so what should I talk about while you guys are trying to figure out... Just grab the one you want to play for. I'm going to do Dora. Because I like these gummies. You wanted Dora? I didn't see there was candy in it for us.

That's too bad. Also, I'm sorry. I'll try my best. That's a popular way to get us to choose name tags. Hey, that's Amy Miller. I like her. She's cool. She'll be back on the show soon.

All right, we did it. We got Jeff Tate on this one. We did it with no commercial interruption. You got to hear how not that interesting it is. Starting with you, Vanessa, you got the Dora and the Lost Sophie of Gold. Yeah. And she's got me on there, and Sam Levine looks really good. Yeah.

And Jeff Tate and Amy Miller. Maybe you'll be on Name Tag the next time you're on the show. Maybe. Yeah. But. Yeah. But excellent choice. Who are you got? Who are you playing for, Chris? It looks like it's a couple because it says

Nightmeric on Emily Street. Oh, I'm going to guess their names are Merrick and Memily. Oh, yeah. Is it Rarick? Eric and Emily. And apparently they like missionary it Rarick? Eric and Emily. And apparently they like missionary. It doesn't have any candy. I am regretting my choice. It wasn't worth it.

I'm sorry. You just like the Christmas lights on there? Yeah, well, I like Nightmare on Elm Street a lot. Oh, okay. And then I read the thing and I was like, that's good. But yeah, there's no candy. So, whatever. Oh, wow. Somebody just chucked candy, so whatever. Oh, wow. Somebody just chucked candy on the stage. I don't like this kind.

It does look like shitty candy. Yeah, it does look like shitty. That was my first thought. Let me see it. It's gingerbread man themed. Oh, they're kind of cute. They're like gummy gingerbread men. Alright. I like this. So high I almost ate the mic while I was

holding the candy. How about that? I don't know. You be careful, buddy. It was satisfying. Mike, tell us about your name tag and do a celebrity impression to

tell us about it. Okay. Who do you want? to tell us about it. Okay. Who do you want? Oh, I thought you'd pick. I'll do Mitt Romney. Well, this is a very fine poster. I'm very pleased to have it. It says Marta Attacks.

The original film was called Mars Attacks, but this is a pun of some kind. So it's the original movie poster, but then... Oh, dear. Did I do that? I'm sorry. Yeah, you did that. That's crazy that you did that. That's not alcohol or caffeine, is it? Because that's a no-no for

me. And this has some comics also at the bottom, including Douglas and Amy Miller, and Jeff Tate, too. I like when Mitt Romney gets excited about something. He does. He gets a little worked up. Especially about the Buc-ee's

sea salt and caramel beaver nuggets, which is, if you've never had snacks from Buc-ee's, it's a fantastic treat, and I'm pleased to have it. But these are serious times. Thank you, Matt. And Cargill,

you got the Brian Mandalorian. I got Brian Mandalorian. Brian Mandalorian and the Baby Yoda. Are you going to try to keep that? Fuck yes. Let's see what Brian thinks about that. Brian says thumbs up, it's yours.

It's going home to my wife. My wife! My wife. Do a bit of Romney saying my wife is Borat. Okay. My wife. My wife. My wife... My wife, Anne, is the light of my life and the mother of my 16 beautiful sons.

I would never say anything disparaging about Anne. My wife, of course, as I prefaced earlier. Thank you. That was perfect. Thank you. Okay, so that's who everybody's playing for. Yeah, somebody's going to win all this stuff,

including these gingerbread men. Alright, this first game we're going to play, you know when I'm Austin, I love to play Alex's, Jason and Deb's IMDb game. I don't know how that goes. Here's how it works, Vanessa. Every performer that you see in movies and TV

has a IMDb page. Okay. And on their page it says, best known for. It lists like four things they're known for. And it's some crazy algorithm. I don't know how they determine it. Awards, popularity. Sometimes the performers themselves

get IMDb Pro and they pick their own top four. But I'm going to start naming somebody's top four. As soon as you think you know who it is, you buzz in with your own name. If you get it wrong, that's negative one point, but if you get it right, you have a chance for bonus points.

Okay. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's exciting. Do you want to practice buzzing in? Vanessa. Good job. Or should I scream like Marv every time?

No, I don't want to do that. Whatever works best for you. But just make a noise, basically, and then I'll call on you, and then you can answer. A lot of people just yell out the answer. Do you want to practice buzzing in, Chris? You could see it in my face, couldn't you? Chris. Yeah, good job. Nobody cared because I didn't pick their fucking signs. Correct. I'm not even going to ask the other guys.

I'm not even gonna ask the other guys. I think they've got this. Who's IMDB best known for? Starts with Sex and the City 2. See, that's smart, nobody's buzzing in because there's a lot of people in that movie. Might need to hear a second title to figure out which one. A theme will emerge, of course. This person

was also in Star Trek 6, The Undiscovered Country. Mike. Who is it, Mike? Your fucking name. Hello. Do you want to go to the bathroom and then is it Mike? Your fucking name.

Oh. Do you want to go to the bathroom and then come back? Kim Cattrall. Kim Cattrall is correct. Oh. I was going to say that. Do I get points? So Mike gets a point for being the first on that.

And now, if he can name the other two movies, the other two projects that Kim Cattrall has in her top four, then he... Big Trouble in Little China and Porky's. Okay. I'm glad you did it quickly, because we are behind schedule. But it also feels like you didn't really think that hard about it. No bonus points for you.

Her additional titles are Sex and the City, the TV show, and Sex and the City, the first movie. I didn't know the TV show. I didn't know they included TV shows.

Yeah, that's why I slipped it in there when I said movies and projects or whatever I said. I didn't know the TV show got it I didn't know that included TV shows yeah that's why I slipped it in there when I said movies and projects or whatever I said just to try to subtly help you with that good job anyway you're the only person on the board with one point here's round two who's tough for best Best known for starts with Sex and the City 2. Chris. Oh, he's going for it. Sarah Jessica Parker. Give it to me.

You're wrong. What if it is? If I ever meet Sarah Jessica Parker, I'm going to play her clip of you saying that. Give it to me. Sarah Jessica Parker, I'm going to play her clip of you saying that. Give it to me. Oh, no. Sarah Jessica Parker, give it to me. Incorrect. That's why you got to wait around for that second title

sometimes. That's negative one point for Chris. The rest of you are still eligible. The second title is Sex in the City, the TV show. Vanessa. Oh, really? Okay.

Cynthia Nixon. No! No, Vanessa. Sounds like I have a dog named Vanessa. The next title is Sex and the City 1 and then Vanessa you can't come in again

stay outside that wasn't explained to me in the rules quit dragging mud in here the fourth title is to me in the rules. Quit dragging mud in here. The fourth title is what was that movie fucking called?

The, you know, incredible journey to the mysterious island. What's that? Shh. No guesses. Smart. You guys are smart.

Because that doesn't really narrow it down that much. That is Kristen Davis. Kristen Davis. All right. That's what I was going to say. Okay, so Mike is in the lead with one. Cargill is in second with zero. We don't need to talk about

everybody else. I say Jeopardy, man. You just stand there and never buzz in. Can I come back inside? Yes. Good girl. Who's best known for Starts with Dreamgirls Secret Life of Bees

Cargill Who is it? Jennifer Hudson That is correct Ah, that is what I was going to say Okay, Cargill Give me two more For two more bonus points Cats Jennifer Hudson? That is correct. That is what I was going to say. Okay, Cargo, give me two more for two more bonus points. Cats.

Oh, I went there. And oh, God. You know what? I'm drawing a blank because that's how this works. That's okay. You don't have to guess two titles. Can I steal? No.

I'll go back outside. You really think that Cats is in anyone's best known form? Well, a lot of the times it's whatever anyone's clicking on. And oh God, is everybody clicking on that this week? That is a good point, but I guess they got more clicks for Sex and the City. And she's also in Sandy Wexler, speaking of Adam Sandler. All right, so Cargill's got one, Mike's got one.

This is very exciting. Round four. Who's best known for starts with Sex and the City 2? Vanessa. Who is it? Cynthia Nixon. That is right!

All right, now you can get three more points if you could name three more Cynthia Nixon joints. Sex and the City won. Sex and the City, the TV show. And I'm going to go out on a limb and just say Adam's family values because she was auditioning to be the nanny

before Joan Cusack. And I think I should get points for knowing that. I wish I lived in that world but you do get points for both of the sex in the cities. Wow. And then she's in something called James White. Yeah, exactly.

I'm like, okay, IMDb. Should be Amadeus. Oh, yeah. Fucking Mozart. That's what it should be. Hey, guess what, Vanessa? You won that game with two points. Let's play the tiebreaker just for laughs, though.

Sex and the City, the TV show. Cargill. Who? Sarah Jessica Parker. No. It was worth a shot. The next title is Law and Order. Mike.

Yeah. Chris Noth. That's right. I was waiting for you to say law. And then his third one is Sex and the City, the first movie. And his fourth one is Sex and the City, the second movie. Chris Noth is best known for being in three sex in the city things one law and order all right so Vanessa you know what you win what you

you win the chance to go first in this next game the chance to go first in this next game. Aww. Okay, yay. Not just a chance. You are going first. I'll start with you then we'll go to Chris and then to Mike and then to Cargill. We're playing a new game.

It's called Sex Ba-Bombshells. I'll name a movie directly at you, Vanessa. Okay. If you miss, then Chris gets a shot at it. I'll name a movie, and you tell me if it has Nicole Kidman in it,

Margot Robbie in it, or Charlize Theron in it. Got it. Okay. Or Charlize Theron in it. Got it. Okay. The Stars of Bombshell. Yeah. Ready? Ready.

Which one of those ladies was in Bush Christmas? Can I steal? No. Like the family, the Bushes? I can't really get into a description of what this is, but it's called Bush.

Okay, Vanessa. I'm going to say Margot Robbie. Incorrect. Chris. Bush Christmas. It was Nicole Kidman I'm going to say Margot Robbie Incorrect Chris Bush Christmas Nicole Kidman or Charlize Theron Nicole would never do that I'm going to go with Charlize

Incorrect Mike Well since I assumed Bush Who do you think it is Mike Nicole Kidman it's an Australian thing right Yeah And we already eliminated the other Aussies. Mike is on the board. On a platter.

It was from her BMX Bandits era. Oh, really? Yeah. What is that? Filmed by Brian Trenchard Smith in 1986. Oh, okay. With bandits on BMXs, and she's one of them. I'm going to check this out.

I don't know. All right, it's your turn. I don't know the deep cuts. I'm cursed with this stuff. Cargill goes first in this one. All right. Which of those three ladies is in something called Wind Rider? Wind Rider.

I'm going to say Margot Robey. Okay, incorrect. It's off to you, Vanessa. Charlize Theron. Incorrect. Chris? Nicole Kidman. That is right.

Yeah, give it to me. Ukrainian. How do you do it? Amazing. Okay, Mike goes first this time. Which one of those ladies in the movie called The Bit Part? Okay, Mike goes first this time. Which one of those ladies in the movie called The Bit Part? The Bit Part.

Margot Robbie? No. Cargill. I'm going to check and see if there's a theme here. Is it Nicole Kidman? That is correct. Vanessa, you're up first. Which one of those ladies was in BMX Bandits?

Damn it! Why is everyone laughing? Probably because they're realizing you don't know which one of them was in BMX Bandits. You're not going to help me, Chris? No. I'm going to say... Not since Trey Galleon has somebody

missed a clue that was so obvious which one are you going with say it again BMX bandits I'm gonna say Nicole Kidman we were just talking about it

yeah it's Nicole Kidman I was like he just got yeah but We were just talking about it. Yeah, it's Nicole Kidman. I was like, but he just got... Yeah, but... I'm stoned. I'm stoned. I was only the second most excoriated person on the stage for not knowing that movie.

Chris. I also don't know it. I was worried that you were going to get wrong I was like what am I going to do laughing at her this hard I don't pay attention when y'all aren't asking me a question I think we both kind of zoned out while they were telling my BMX bandits it was like what the fuck

I totally missed that. Never seen it. Mike, what are y'all talking about? Literally. It was like you'd never heard those words ever. And they just happened two minutes prior. Okay. We got to keep going.

We got to soldier forth because we have a four-way tie right now. This is very exciting. We got to start with Chris this time, right? Because Vanessa just got Nicole Kidman, BMX Bandits. Barely. Chris, which one was in a movie called Flirting? Man. I'm going to go with Margot Robbie on this one.

Incorrect. It's Mike. Charlize Theron? Incorrect. It's Mike. Charlize Theron? Incorrect. Cargill. I'm detecting a theme. Nicole Kidman. That is correct.

Okay, we're back to you, Vanessa. Ask her about BMX bandits. What's that? 1986, Brian Frederick Smith. Which one was in Adam's Family Values? I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. No, which one was in Panic Room? Panic Room. The story of two people in a room. I'm gonna say... It's kind of the opposite of the movie

Room. Is it called Kidman? What? Are we playing or not? What? Nicole Kidman. That is correct. She is an unbilled voice on the phone.

Yeah, that's kind of fun. Chris? Well, let me give Vanessa a point here real quick. Chris? Which one was in Margot at the Wedding? Oh, man. I'm going to go with Nicole Kidman on this one. You did it!

Yeah! Yeah! Mike? Which one was in The Family Fang The Family Fang I watched it on a plane once Nicole Kidman that's correct

Cargill I'm going to take a shot in the dark here. I haven't said the title yet. I have a sneaking suspicion, but go ahead and give me the title. I see you. Nicole Kidman. No. Vanessa.

Con! I see you, the letters or the words the letters but when discussed amongst people it seems like either I'm gonna say Charlize no Chris

Margot Robbie baby you did it I'm winning now you are winning yes well we're getting close to the end. Mike. Mike. Peter Rabbit. Margot Robbie.

Yep, that was correct. Cargill yes goodbye Christopher Robin that is Margot Robbie that is this is really coming down to it holy shit

I love how you just went from one IMD page to the other IMD page. I love it too. Vanessa? Yes. Children of the Corn 3 Urban Harvest.

Margot Robbie. No. Ah, the blonder one. Fuck. That was obvious. Sorry. Other people are still playing. Sorry. Chris.

I'm going to go with Nicole Kidman. That's money right there. Money in the bank. Incorrect. It's just the oldest one. Yeah, but... Okay, Mike. I just thought Children of the Corn, the movie's oldest, fuck.

Mike's for the win. Who is it? Charlize Theron. That is correct. You win. You did it. Yeah, she had a real down period in her career there briefly.

I guess I heard of her first. But Chris, Vanessa, right before you said, oh, I didn't pick the blondest one, You did it. Yeah, she had a real down period in her career there briefly. I guess I heard of her first. But Chris, Vanessa, right before you said, oh, I didn't pick the blondest one, and then you went with Nicole Kidman. I thought they were all the equal amount of blonde. I don't follow much of their work. No, Charlize is blonde most of the time. Oh.

Rarely not blonde. There you go. All right. So, Mike, you won that, and that means you get to go first in our final game of the show today that will determine a winner. This is where it gets serious, Vanessa.

We've been having fun up until this point. But now... We have. Now this really means something. Okay. Someone's going home with this stuff. Do you know how life-changing all this stuff is going to be? There's somebody.

It's a fire hazard. Okay, so we're going to play what I'm now calling Last Woman Stanton. Yes. Let's hear it for the ladies. And I'm going to get from the audience some suggestions for actresses for us to play in this game

where you just take turns naming movies they were in. If you can't think of one, you're out. You can go to your lifeline once, and your lifeline is a person whose name tag you chose. So Vanessa's going to go to Ari. Sophie. It's on the poster. It is, but I it's on the poster I love that when you said that Brian just started nodding confidently like I got this shit Chris

who do you have to go to feel any fun Rarick Rarick though Eric and Emily I don't know if that's cheating there's's two people over there, but oh well. Mike. Marta's got me over here. Marta, okay. And Cargill's got Brian. Alright, cool. Do you feel like, Vanessa, you would have picked a different name tag if you knew that the person whose name tag you chose was going to help you in this game later?

No, I feel good about it. Cool. Now I don't. She thinks you made a grave error. But we'll see. We'll have fun. You never know how it's going to go. So if you have a suggestion of an actress, because I didn't see anybody on Twitter today

talking about it. So if you've got a suggestion, just raise your hand and please be someone whose name tag isn't up on stage because that's not fair. Did we pick your name tag? No? Okay, what would you suggest? Angela Bassett. Angela Bassett. Love it. Looking at the panel. Need another name.

There's somebody back there waving so wild, like it's so important. So excited. Looks like he's landing a plane. Who are you saying? Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Okay.

That's a good one. Okay, I didn't just say, just start yelling out names. I don't think I said that. And then, okay, one more. Cher. Cher. Nice. Okay, so we're going to do the films of Cher. Nice. Okay, so we're going to do the films of Cher

and Halle Berry and Angela Bassett. It's just a game trying to remember all three. All right, so those are the names. And we start with you Vanessa and I play along on this one because it's you know it's fun for me so I'll go second and then Cargill and then Mike oh wait I'm sorry Mike won that last game didn't he yeah apologies so Mike it'll start with you and then go to

Chris and Vanessa than me Cargill. You ready? Start us off. Cher, Angela Bassett, or that third person. Halle Berry. Mask. Cher. Got it. Go. Chris.

Swordfish. Halle Berry. Boom. Vanessa. Oh, do I have to do Angela Basselton? Nope Any one of them At any time Snap out of it

Scared me I was like what does that mean? Did I win? Moonstruck I either say the name of the person that was in it Or I just yell a line from the movie It just didn't work out that it was one so aggressive that I'm sitting right next to you.

But seriously, Vanessa, snap out of it. I'm going to go with The Witches of Eastwick. Damn it. Cher. Cargill. Catwoman. Halle Berry. Mike.

Tomorrow Never Dies. Halle Berry. Mike. Tomorrow Never Dies. Halle Berry. Nice. No? Somebody's disagreeing, but I accept it. Chris? She's in one of those Bond movies. I don't give a fuck which one.

Chris? You know what I'm talking about. The rules are very lax. We'll go with What's love got to do with it? Yes. Very good. Excellent. Mermaids. Well, we're doing

all the Cher movies, are we? Maybe. Come back to the five and dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean. Yeah. Come back to the five and dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean. Cargill? Waiting to exhale? Yeah. Mike?

Monster's ball. Sexy? Okay. Thank you That guy thinks you said monster balls Who's up? What's up? I'm going to go with flintstones the movie oh yeah yeah it's classic that was good i'm gonna say mamma mia 2

oh oh yeah here i go again here who goes again mom is that what it is? Here who goes? Here I go. No. You're not alone on this. Here we all goes again. Here we go again. Mama Mia 2 shares in this. Again. Here I go again. Here we, we as a family.

One of those had to be right. Okay. I don't know what's happening. It's back on me now though? Yeah. Okay, so I'm going to say, I'm going to go with Angela Bassett. Halle Berry.

Oh, I could do a Halle Berry, right? Oh yeah, I sure can. X-Men. X-Men 2. X-2 to some of us that we're driving at. Okay. Mike? I'm no hero.

X-Men 3. Oh, shit. This is where you get into trouble. Oh, I have to do the full title? Yeah. Fuck. Welcome to the show. X-Men United.

Shit. You want to go to your lifeline? No, give me a second here. I know we're running low on time. Yeah. Ride a gas. I got pins to sell. Silk weed.

Oh, nice! What do you mean no? What's silkweed? Hang on a second. Hang on, everybody. First of all, isn't it called silkwood? I got this. I got this.

I got this. Combined milkweed and silkwood. You know that movie about butterflies? I feel like silkwood is the porn version of Silkweed. Anyway, so he fixed it, so we're good. I was doing an impression of a guy with a weird accent saying, Silkweed. Silkweed.

How would Mitt Romney say it? Silkwood. I don't care for that word. How would Mitt Romney say it? Silk. Wood. I don't care for that word. You got it right. Chris? John Wick 3. Oh.

I saw that recently. More words. More words. Oh, man. There's more to it? Oh, yeah, there is. No, you're definitely not coming up with it. I could probably get this.

No, it's not got a new doggy. It's a hard one. It's here we all go again. Here I go again. John Wick 3. Oh, man. Well, I guess I'll use my lifeline. Maybe your lifeline will do it.

It has to be the person with the sign? Huh? Does it have to be the person with my sign? There, I have his sign. Yeah, that's your lifeline, is Eric and Emily. They can suggest something else or tell you the title you're looking for. Oh, just hit me with the title if you know it. What's that?

Oh, that doesn't sound right, but it could be. Chapter 3? Yeah. Is that what he's saying? John Wick 3 Three chapter three. So you don't know any other Angela Bassett or Halle Berry or Cher. Oh. You're going Boys in the Hood?

Is that what you said? Yeah. Okay. You agree with that? Do I agree with Boys in the Hood? Yeah. Yeah. Cher was in that? Do I agree with Boys in the Hood? Yeah. Yeah. Cher was in there?

No, not Cher. Vanessa? Burlesque! Burlesque. Yeah. Right? Yes. Yes.

Yes. Standing ovation. Yes. I'm out, Cargill. John Wick 3 Parabellum. Yes. The love word for going to war also used to describe a certain type of firearm. I probably saw the word and just gave up.

Apparel. Whatever. I thought it was parabolum. I thought it was parabola. Parabola. Mike? Mission Impossible Fallout. Oh, look at you.

Chris? Man. It's over, isn't it? I'm going to take a chance here. Chris. Man. It's over, isn't it? I'm going to take a chance here. Okay. Was Cher in a movie? The Ex-Wives Club? Was that a movie?

No. I guess I'm out then. I mean, it may have been a movie, but Cher wasn't in it. Oh, okay. It seems Cher-like. It wasn't. They really tried to get her for the Diane Keaton part. That's right.

They went a different way with it. She could have played Batman, there's part or Sarah Jessica Parker was like the mistress in that. Yeah. So who's the third lady? Oh, Goldie Hawn. Anyway. Vanessa? I'm gonna

change course here and say How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Very good! Damn it! It's a real good one. Brian, can you baby Yoda me out of this shit and keep me alive from when we're around?

X-Men 3, The Last Stand. The Last Stand, X-Men 3. Back to Mike. I'm going to need some help, Marta. Boomerang. Marta says boomerang. That's good. Wow, that came back at you fast.

Marta, boomerang That one locked and loaded She yells that every time she hears her own name Is Marta here? Boomerang Chris, is it over? I'm out I thought I was eliminated. Yeah, you're eliminated.

All right. Yeah, that feels right. I need a lifeline. Gothica! Gothica! I love Gothica. Gothica! Gothica!

That's good. Sorry, I got excited excited Back to Cargill Did you think of anything? No I'm tapping out I don't got this one Sorry Went so far Mike

Wait don't I win now? Vanessa just got one Oh right Yeah you need another one Have we done Catwoman? Yes. Fuck. Another one.

That's my DJ Khaled impression. What? What did he say? Another one? You need another one. I think he's a young rapper. I'm out. I don't know.

Vanessa's a winner! It's a Christmas miracle. I thought of it too late, but Halle Berry's in The Last Boy Scout. That's the one I was trying to think of. She gets fucking dead murdered. Within like the first ten minutes. Yeah, downhill from there.

What else did we miss? Days of Future Past. Apocalypse, yeah. Oh, Stretch Days. Yeah, I was trying to think of that. The title couldn't come to me. I was just picturing her. I was wrong. It was The World Never Dies. Yeah was trying to think of that. I couldn't, the title couldn't come to me. I was just picturing her. I was wrong.

It was The World Never Dies. Yeah, I figured you were wrong. The World Never Dies, yeah. Yeah, it worked out okay that you didn't win. I'm making him so mad right now. No! That would have been an ugly victory. But yeah, I get all those die, James Bond die movies mixed up. And now the next one's got die in the title.

I know. Too Busy to Die? That's not it. Isn't it? Ain't got time to die. It's No Time I know. Too busy to die? That's not it. Isn't it? Ain't got time to die. It's no time to die. No time to die. Here we die again.

It's in the love boat font. Yeah, it is. That's right. Yes, it is. Too alive to die. No time to die. My name is Bond. James Bond.

And I have no time to die. We had enough time to say all of that. As long as it doesn't take you to die. All right, so Vanessa's our winner, and come get your prizes. Who was it again? Who? Your name tag. Oh, Sophia.

Yeah, Sophia. Oh, she's right there. Yeah, come and get it, come and get it. Yeah, I hope Oh, she's right there. Yeah, come and get it. Come and get it. Yeah, I hope you didn't carry it all. It's like it's several bags. Oh, Sophie. Sophie, sorry.

Sophie. Yeah, Sophie. Sophie. There's your name tag back. Thank you, Sophie. Congratulations. All right, we're only a little bit over, but let's do some plugs real quick.

What do you got to plug, Vanessa Gonzalez? I'll be here on New Year's Eve with you. Yes. And then I'll be headlining here January 2 through 4. Come see me. Come see her on New Year's Eve. Don't worry about those other shows. Yeah, forget it.

And where are you on social medias? At Vanessa Marie on Instagram. At Vanessa on Twitter. Okay. Chris Tellez, plug yourself. I'll be doing Shits Golden next Monday here at Spider House in Austin.

And yeah, on Twitter, I'm HiChrisTellez and on Instagram Chris Tellez. Thank you, Chris Tellez, and on Instagram, Chris Tellez. Thank you, Chris Tellez. Mike McRae. You can hear me do voices on this season of Our Cartoon President on Showtime and every week on the Jimmy Dore Show. And I co-host a comedy showcase at the Spider House Ballroom

the second Monday of every month. It's called the Eagle Hour, and service industry always gets in free, so come on. You can find my books wherever you buy your books. I have two podcasts, one where I talk about obscure films like BMX Bandits. It's called Junk Food Cinema, and I have another where me and Dave Chen give writing advice for those of you that are aspiring writers, and that's called Write Along. You can find those wherever you listen to your podcasts. C. Robert Cargill, thank you so much. All of my dates are at DougLovesMovies.com.

That's DougLovesMovies.com! Yeah! What up, what up! That's douglosmovies.com. That's douglosmovies.com. Yeah! Come on! What is... Shh! Yep, that's what happens. What the fuck? That's what happens.

When I say that, that's what happens. You want to hear it again? No. Yes. Why Ted Danson? All I have to say is douglovesmovies.com. That's douglovesmovies.com. Yeah.

Yeah. For all it's worth. That's like the shittiest superpower ever. It is. I just, basically, I just set it off and run, hoping that whoever's trying to kill me will just stop and listen to them do that. It's like you're on the Avengers C-Team with that power.

I'm just who they call when they need something to interrupt something, you know, they just need a distraction. Hey Doug, can you get the shawarma? Most people with that amount of power create like a sex cult or something. You just get them to yell weird shit.

Yeah, I don't know what. And it's not really my power because they keep adding to it. Although one guy, what did that one guy try to add that was so rude Butt fuck Should have had that No that's when shh came in I had to shh every time he said butt fuck

So wait I'd really prefer if you not have that in there I don't care for that at all So y'all like meet up and practices? What? You meet up and practice? No, they listen to the podcast. You know that podcast you told me you listen to?

They listen to it. Okay. And come to the live taping so that they have their chance to go Ted Danson. It's all very exciting. One more time for all of my guests. See Robert Cargill. Mike McCray. Chris Telles. Vanessa Gonzalez.

Thank you to Cap City Comedy. Looking forward to New Year's Eve here once again. And until hashtag womanuary. Yeah, I'm trying to get that going. Rest in peace, Brody, and positive

energy! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies!