Doug Loves Movies - Chris Cubas, Geoff Tate and Craig Robinson guest

Episode Date: February 3, 2020

Live from the LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio, Doug welcomes Chris Cubas, Geoff Tate and Craig Robinson to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug. I love movies. Do you guys want to try that again?

Yeah. Are you surprised? My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again from LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio, Texas! We are doing it. I'm so excited.

We have the cast of The Irishman. No,. We have the cast of The Irishman. No, we just have the poster for The Irishman. But me and my guests signed it for you guys. That's one of the many things that's going into the prize bag. It's Saturday, February 1st. We're doing it. One month into the new year, 2020. Yeah. Where are my name tags at? I know you guys always come up with good ones,

and this is no exception. Holy cow. Eric and Pie. Crazy Rich Raisins. A person named Rich should do that poster. Crazy Rich Raisins. Dude, where's my what? Carmen. I saw Pablo Copp on the internet today. Missy Robles. That's your name, Missy? What's this bell over here? Yeah, like a bicycle

bell on a cutout of Texas. Don't know what that has to do with any particular movie. Pee-wee's Big Adventure? Yay! Yeah. There's no basement in the Alamo. Wow, lots of good ones. Oh, I like that one of Jeff and I replacing Leo and Brad in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

What's your name, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. What's your name once upon a Ryan in Hollywood? Good job. Great job, everybody. Hot tub time, Mashian. That's your last name? Oh, Ian. Hot tub time, Mashian. Now I get it.

Great job to all of you. Good luck to everybody. Of course, we know only three of you will be chosen, and you will possibly, one of those three, will win the contents of this bag that I brought, plus stuff brought by my guests. We have a hat that I was gifted just the other night in Los Angeles. Noelle Wells gave me this hat that says,

Noelle Wells, it's so nice. And all you got to do is take one look at it and go, oh, I see why Doug doesn't want to keep that. It's just a little too colorful for my tastes. It's not necessarily something I would wear, but I do appreciate it and want to pass it on to someone who would like it. Along with this biscotti that I got on the flight here. I'm not into it, but somebody might be.

I was on Lights Out with David Spade recently, and I got a luggage tag from that show, and that seems a little weird for me to be pointing out to people on my luggage that I was on Lights Out with David Spade, so I'm keeping it to myself. Some Douglas Movie stickers on the floor. And I got this from next door. It's the Alamo Kids Club Prize Book.

It's just a lot of fun things for little kids to do if they're seeing an R-rated movie next door at the Alamo Drafthouse. And, oh, are you really going to? No. I can do it. I can pick this yeah I don't know maybe not.

Maybe I really should have had you do it but thank you for offering the stickers are safe and I don't know why I always save the magazine for last it doesn't really seem like the best part of the prize bag. But I was in Santa Barbara, California recently. And so I brought a copy of Santa Barbara magazine for you guys.

And down the road, someone's going to get a lovely San Antonio magazine. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then also in here somewhere, there it is, is a Doug Benson pin from Rockin' Pins. All of that, plus the stuff brought by my guests. Let me do some Doug plugs really quick before I bring them out here, because I'm very excited about them, and I think you guys will be as well. Don't miss the next Doug Loves Movies in L.A.

Are you guys going to be in L.A. on Tuesday, February 11th? Because if you like goats, this one is the one for you. And for all of my dates and deets, go to DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com! Yeah! Yeah!

You know what? I'm happy that you guys are here, even though you clearly don't listen to the show much. That was the messiest one I've heard. Maybe you're all drunk already. Is that what's happening? Now it's time for tweet relief. Tweets about movies.

Ken Jennings, our good friend Ken Jennings, he tweeted, it is with great sorrow that I announce the cartoon dog from Call of the Wild has died. This has been Tweet Relief, the greatest of all time edition. All right, let's get my guests out here. Speaking of great people, I love these guys, and I think you will too.

Please give a warm welcome to Chris Cubis, Jeff Tate, and Craig Robinson. Hey fellas. Hey John. Let's say hello to them individually, starting with the man who is headlining here this very weekend, LOL. It's Craig Robinson! Good day. Good day.

Somebody's got crunches. Did you see his poster? Oh, is it you? Yeah Or you just like the You like the Crazy Rich Asians? Why am I face on the poster? That's what Crazy Rich Asians needed Was a little Craig Robinson

That's beautiful Y'all are crazy You know what I noticed? What? That you're Doug Benson And I play Doug Judy On the television show Yeah, yeah

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Yeah, yeah Doug is a very Suddenly cool name, I guess You've never seen Brooklyn Nine-Nine? What's that? You've never seen Brooklyn Nine-Nine? What's that? You don't watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine? I do.

I've seen it for sure, but I didn't know you were on it. Yes, I have a character named Doug Judy. Once a year, I've been on it. Oh, you're like you pop in for one awesome episode each season? Exactly. All right. I'd binge that. I'd watch all the Craig Robinson episodes.

They're fun, man. That's one of the most fun things that I do. Yeah. It's a good show. It's just one of those shows where you don't have to tune in each week. It's not one where they force you to watch every episode because there's no spoilers to speak of. Exactly. So I get lazy on it, but it is a very funny show. Yeah. We probably watch TV the same way. You watch something for a while

and then we're like, okay. Yeah. But also, yeah, you get pressured into watching certain things. I know what you mean. Like, I... There's certain things you gotta be in the mood for. Like, I want to finish Game of Thrones.

I'm on the second season. What? I just don't. I have not found the time yet. I want to sit down, because I know I want to be like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. A lot of people watch that show every week, though,

because they were afraid to hear what happened from the internet. Yeah. You know? What season? You don't care? I mean, I know, and I know,

like, a lot of people. You vaguely know things that are going to happen. You'd be like, oh shit, this is that wedding

I heard about. Right. And I never saw the dragons fly or, I left off where the real cool father

got killed after he said that the guy was, that he lied on himself to spare his life? I mean, I watched less Game of Thrones than Brooklyn Nine-Nine, to be honest with you.

I never got hooked on Game of Thrones. I saw most of the series just because it would be on in my hotel room, but I never understood what was happening. Yeah, you got to really pay attention. And they have White Walkers or something like that. That's why I'm not watching Succession, because it feels like you gotta listen to what they're saying, and all they

do is talk for an hour every episode. Did you see Chernobyl? Mm-mm. I'm on, like, the third episode of that. And it's only, like, six episodes, but I only see it when I go to Canada on a plane. That's it. And it's only like six episodes, but I only see it when I go to Canada on a plane. Chernobyl is a great thing to watch as a reason to leave the country.

Go to Canada. All right. Well, thank you for being here. I know you have three shows here tonight. Yes. At this club. Yeah. He's huge in San Antonio.

And so I've cut into your resting time for your shows tonight, so if you want to bail at any point, I will... There he goes. There he goes.

As soon as I give him a reason to go. But yeah, let give him a reason to go. But yeah, let us know how you're doing. Keep us abreast. I'll stay for a little bit. Okay, he's going to stay for a little bit, you guys. Oh, look at that support. Oh, thank you.

It'd be funny if you're like, well, I'm going to take off, and then they cheered. Also on the panel today, it's our friend Chris Cubis. What's up? I took a megabus here, so I'm high as shit, and that bag of Oreos is staring me in my eyes aggressively right now. Oreos are your name tag? No, there's just a box of Oreos right there. Oh, because O is your name?

Her name? Somebody's name is O? One of your names is Oreo? So you brought some Oreos. All right, well, can Chris have some? Hell yeah. Here we go. I'll give them back.

I'm not giving them back. I'm sorry, bro. Is that your face on that poster? No. Who? Dale Cheeseman. Oh. Who's that? Dale Cheeseman's been a guest on the show a bunch of times.

And what people do when they make their name tags is they try to guess. They figure out who's going to be here and then they put your face on it so that's why your face is on some of the posters yep there you go people know you're in town this weekend you're over there wow my favorite one is the pineapple express one yeah so do we know something people don't know but my name is kit kat that's why there's so many kit kats on that poster right now People don't know, but my name is Kit Kat. That's why there's so many Kit Kats on that poster right now.

Perfect. And finally, let the chanting begin. It's Jeff Tate, everybody! Jeff Tate! Yeah, that's what you're up against today, Craig, is people love Jeff. Yes. We're really going to put it to the test. We're going to make him choose between me and Craig Robinson. Does this sound fun?

He said the nicest thing to me just now backstage. He did? Yeah. What was that? Can i tell him jeff oh yeah yeah it was yeah go ahead i i forgot i don't know no he said that we we worked he said man you know we worked together like you know 14 15 years ago he said i'll host it for you and then right after that you just just start doing all these shows and I just feel really proud of you he was like I know it might sound corny whatever and then

we got to deal like that I mean it was cool I would go ladies and gentlemen Craig Robinson then he would murder and then like a week later he was in every movie and I was like oh good for him he's so funny. True story. And then I told him and then he told you and then now I'm telling you again and you're all caught up. What do you got for the prize bag, Jeff? Oh, I brought, oh it's under,

I brought this week's issue of Entertainment Weekly. It's got Daniel Craig on the cover. I read it on the plane already. I read it yesterday, so I won't tell you what happens. Bullseye. Real fucking snarky this week.

And a double feature of Batman and Batman Returns. Yeah. Right in honor of Joker. The Jack Nicholson one. That's what I brought. Nice job. Thanks everybody.

I brought on vinyl a copy of the soundtrack to Michael Douglas' Falling Down, which has tracks such as My Rights as a Consumer, A White Guy in Gangland? Still a cop. That's one of them as well.

A White Guy in Gangland was the song my ex-wife and I danced to. At our wedding. And then for some reason I also brought a copy of Three Ninjas on Laserdisc. Because I figured if there would be one room that would clap for it, it would be you fucking nerds. That's great. All right, Craig, what do you have? I was not told to bring a gift. But if anybody has an Afro,

are you in the wrong room, Craig? No. Afro-less audience, it's moment. But you gotta wait till after my third show tonight cause I'm gonna need it but no Doug did not tell me that there were gifts involved would you tell the people that

you weren't sure you know you weren't sure if you were gonna come and I didn't want to add that extra pressure of having to bring a gift cause that's not cool but what I'd like you to do is sign this The Irishman poster. We all signed it.

But yours is going to really make this thing valuable. Just my name or you want me to put some on there? You can put some more words on there. Do you have anything to say about The irishman uh i didn't see it that's as good as anything we put yeah i haven't seen it either jeff hasn't seen it have you seen it chris i watched two thirds of it and i fell asleep i have not gone back you're not interested in going back? I don't know, man.

It's like, I watched two hours of that movie, and it's like, oh, there's another old white dude talking. I guess I'll do another hour of this. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that's a Notre Dame fucking convention right now. Room full of Irish people. So that's why you wrote on the poster,

I haven't finished this That's exactly what I wrote And Jeff wrote I'm Joe Pesci I am They CGI'd Joe Pesci's older face Onto my face It's real controversial And I wrote next to Pacino

I wrote And Craig wrote I didn't see it. I mean, this is suitable for framing you guys. For a murder? So somebody's going to win all that stuff, but we chat a little bit first before we get to that. And so I don't spring these questions on you, Craig.

I'll start with Jeff on the other end there and then you can figure it out by the time it gets to you. Jeff, what was the last motion picture you saw in any format? I watched The Big Lebowski. How did you do that? On my phone and in my mind. And do you cosplay as him every time you watch? Every day, man.

Once you find out about these pants, it's hard to go back. Like, I mean, come on. You know how the White Russian is the best drink? These are the best pants. He was right about two things. Those look like the pants a fancy phlebotomist wears. They're like the person who cares about their scrubs. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Fancy scrubs. I mean, I got them on fancyscrubs.com. I was trying to find some, like a sack braf tuxedo. Hang on. Has anybody seen The Big Lebowski? It's my favorite movie. And right now, my favorite sentence in the movie is when the landlord goes, I'd love it if you came and gave me notes. Remember, he goes, I'm doing my dance quintet.

And the dude's like, far out. He's like, I'd love it if you came and gave me notes. Why? Why are you asking your tenant to come watch you dance and then give you notes about your dancing? And then he does. He goes, not good.

Is that the sequel John Turturro's doing? Yeah, that comes out next month. Maybe I'll dress like that movie. I don't know. We'll see. I haven't seen it yet. His character is kind of crazy in that movie. It was interesting to see him get a whole movie

He's getting a spinoff? The pedophile? Yeah, yeah, but That's what I meant by kind of crazy That is wild He was a pedophile in that one? Yeah, yeah It's a prequel, so maybe it's Before he did that

Oh, so they're gonna CGI him? They're gonna make him young? It's like Joker, but it should just be called Jesus. It's how he becomes the Jesus. Anyway, of course what happens is he was framed for being a pedophile. That probably happens in the first one minute of the movie. You were framed. He's like, oh, thank God, now we can watch this.

Yeah, that also could have been those other characters in the first movie just talking shit about him. Because it wasn't like John Goodman's character was ever saying anything factual. Yeah, but then whose flashback was that? Because he goes door to door to tell people, right? Am I crazy? That does happen. So that's a weird flashback if they just went into John Goodman's head where he's imagining that. I'm just trying to help this pedophile get off.

I just really feel bad for him. You're a little old for that, Doug. I have small hands. Chris, what was the last movie you saw? I watched on the same day I went to the theater and saw Bad Boys for Life and then I went home and watched Gemini Man

because I wanted to love Will Smith again So you got three Will Smiths in one day? I did, well, spoiler alert more than three I'm assuming no one else here has seen Gemini, man. I saw it. Yeah, it was pretty fun. It was fun. It was a fun little movie. People are mad,

but like, what do you want? Will Smith hit Will Smith with a motorcycle. What do you want from a movie? Yeah, but that's in the trailer. That's true. So you don't have to go to see Will Smith hit Will Smith with a motorcycle. That's true. I just want there to be one Will Smith per movie.

Is that too much to ask? Sometimes there's two Will Smiths? Which one do I root for? How does his son feel? His son did a movie with him and then he's like, this next one, I'll play me also.

I'll play younger me. Step aside kid. There's also like a touching scene where, well touching is probably a stretch, but he like drops it, younger him off at school. That happens in the movie. Oh man. So like Jaden's really gotta be, you never

did that once. You were filming Hitch my whole high school career. Oh sure you'll take that kid to school. So you know how. This whole time I just thought you didn't know how. That's my impression of

Jaden Smith. It was pretty good. Thank you. Craig, what was the last movie you saw? Timmy Failure. What? Timmy Failure? Failure, yeah.

Who's that? It's a kid named Timmy. It comes out February 7th on Disney+. It's a children's book series. And it's turned, I'm in the movie. That's what I was going to ask. I was going to ask. So it's a screening of Timmy Failure.

And that's the last movie I saw. I watched the Aaron Hernandez documentary on Netflix. And I saw Don't Fuck With Cats. And you know what they said? Like, they never closed it out. Who was the other person in the video? They never went back to that. There's some, like, Google it.

Because I think they figured it out. There's like a neighbor or somebody they said was like, that other person. Aren't they just as culpable? For the cats? Not so much for the feet. Then he cut a dude's foot off, right? Okay, we're only people who watch that. Yeah, I don't understand any of this.

Only people that watch that murder documentary. Did you see Don't Fuck With Cats? I don't. Not only do I not fuck with cats, I don't watch movies called Don't Fuck With Cats. Because there might be some fucking with cats going on in the movie. It's a documentary. It's three episodes long. It's simple. But is it uplifting?

No. I mean, do the cats get revenge? Do they go out and buy a gun? They get the guy at the end. He's in jail now, right? Or do they? Spoiler alert. Do cats get them?

Do cats get the guy? No. alert. Do cats get them? Is it the cats that get the guy? No. Are there cats in the movie? I'm making a documentary called Don't Fuck With Cats, and it's me not watching that movie Cats that came out this year. That's probably why that movie didn't do well, because everyone heard the message from Netflix, don't fuck with cats.

So they are not fucking with it. The Alamo Draft House in LA, since the day Cats opened, has had a screening every day that's a rowdy cat screening where people could just yell shit out the whole time. But it's like, they've been able to fill a theater every day

since it opened. I think it might last forever. Oh, the next Rocky Horror? Yeah. Kind of thing. Like Rocky Horror, but with no rules. You just yell shit and throw shoes. I want to see it just because they talk about how bad it is.

Right. It's one of those movies where you go, I just got to see if it's really that bad. But I feel like 15 minutes in, you're just going to be like, God damn it. It is that bad. but I feel like 15 minutes in, you're just going to be like, God damn it, it is that bad. You know what's weird? I'm not a good judge of what's a bad movie. I'll enjoy a movie and people are like, oh, that sucked. I'll be like, oh, yeah, I guess.

I enjoyed what's the Will Smith one for Netflix? Oh, Bright. Bright. I was like, oh, man, they did that that I like Bright People were so hating on that movie I thought it was fine Didn't mind it

He didn't like it He loved it Perfect movie to eat Oreos to Which is why he's not going to watch it again Somebody took his Oreos Man, they got a new Oreo Called Moe's Stuff And it is disgusting somebody took his Oreos. Man, they got a new Oreo called Most Stuff, and it is disgusting.

What, it's just a bunch of random items? No, it's just too much. It's like more than double stuff. And the inside, it's Most Stuff. So it's like, I guess it's like the building inspector won't allow any more marshmallow in the cookie, and it's too much.

It's too much. You know how sometimes you're like, this isn't enough, and it's too much. It's too much. You know how sometimes you're like, this isn't enough. That one's too much. You can really taste the hoof. What? You know who should promote that? Most Def. You changed his name, though. He's Yassin Bey.

You can't call him Most Def? No, no, no. He's Yassin Bey. You can't call him most definitely? No, no, no. He'll get mad at you. What? You can't even capitalize the letters in Yassin Bey. Yeah, it has to be all lowercase. So that's why you don't see him in movies much anymore, because they don't want to fuck with paying extra money in the credits.

Find us someone that won't fuck up our fonts. Find us someone that won't fuck up our fonts. Also, because he's no longer most deaf, he's completely deaf. Fake news. All right. Oh, this next part's really fun, Craig. I think you'll like this part. We'll start with Jeff.

You already sort of did one because you did a scene from Big Lebowski. But I like to ask everybody to do an impression if they have one. You don't have to if you don't have one. But Jeff, do you have one you'd like to share with us today? I don't. I mean, I just have the one I do. Everybody knows it. Okay, you've already heard it? Yeah, it's Ray Romano.

Or wait, no wait, it's not Ray Romano. Oh, I'm hoping it's like Viola Davis. I want it to be just wildly different than Ray Romano. It's not Ray Romano. No. Viola Davis. Ah! Ah! Bova Davis! Is that spot on, right? My name's James Bond, you motherfuckers.

That's a quote from the new one. You don't know because you haven't read that Entertainment Weekly thing. Okay, so what's happening? Did you do an impression? I did it. Everybody loved it. Now it's Chris's turn? Did you do an impression? I did it. Everybody loved it. Now it's Chris's turn. Everybody loves your Raymond impression?

Everybody loves my Raymond impression. Yeah! Take, take, take. But that's who you really meant to say was Ray Romano? Yeah. Darth Vader the episode of Family Guy where they had Ray Romano

current the frog Harold Remus they were all like hey hey they were arguing I'm Family Guy And they were arguing. I'm family guy.

Very good, Jeff. I hope you just keep coming back on the show and not trying any other impressions. Just do Ray Romano every time. And also forget, even say, no, I didn't mean Ray Romano. I meant Ray Romano every time and also forget even say, no, I didn't mean Ray Romano. I meant Ray Romano. Chris, do you do any impressions? I don't, but

I did just watch Copland within the last couple of weeks and I keep seeing De Niro on that poster. There's that scene where he's eating that sandwich. It's the only maybe close to impression I've ever had where he goes, I gave you your chance, and you blew it!

But he's got half a salami sandwich hanging out of his mouth when he says it. I feel like I could pull off that part of that performance pretty well, the salami sandwich half. You sounded just like him, though, in the, you blew it! And he's shaking that fucking sandwich. I love it.

You know, you sounded like when you said, I gave you, when you started, it felt you had some Bane going on. Okay. Oh, that's a weird mashup. Bane. I'm Bane. I like your version of an impression.

My girlfriend, oh, she's going to get mad when I hear this. My girlfriend will try to do accents, but all she does is say stereotypical things about that ethnicity. So she'll be like, oh, I can do a Mexican accent. Tacos, burritos. She just says words with no voice inflection. It's pretty great.

Well, if she's the one that does the impressions in the family, try to get her on next time. But that wasn't, I thought that De Niro was really good. Craig, what about you? Do you have any good impressions you'd like to share? Yeah. I do. I have Liam Neeson. Oh, we're already very excited.

Okay, this is Liam Neeson. What's the movie we're... Taken? I'm sorry. Taken 2? Taken 3? He was in a plane. A walk amongst the Taken tombstones?

Is it Rob Roy? On the plane. Non-stop. Non-stop. Air Force One. Okay, now. I turned that movie on. It's still going. I got Unstoppable playing in my bedroom and Non-Stop in my living room.

You talking about that or the Irishman? Okay. So you're going to have to help me out, sir, okay? Oh, audience participation yes does the podcast listeners need to hear him just just just as loud as you can you could do that with your mic or do it well no because i want to turn to him yeah give him the mic in my good idea okay and i want you to call action and when he he calls action, you're going to say, are you trying to hijack this plane?

Okay? I love this. Let me get in character one second. Just let me know when you're ready, and I'll start it. Action. Are you trying to hijack this plane? I'm trying to save it.

Thank you. Thank you. Whoa. I am impressed that Doug managed to book Liam Neeson to just run on stage and say that line. What took him out? I don't know. Yeah, that's why he's not doing action movies anymore, because it's too exhausting

to be that amped up about everything. Those take-ins, though. How great an actor do you have to be to sell like riding a motorcycle on the rooftop

and like or like having a a blindfold on a bag over your head and you're counting the paces okay we made a left turn I smell Arby's

you know it's just like you know you saw me three times yeah it's family i don't know why they still hang out with him do you want to go to the movies not today dad i don't feel like getting kidnapped i know i didn't know we could have other people in our impression I'm going to need four volunteers I'm much better at a dinner scene Your Doris Roberts

Your Peter Bohn That's what you could do Jeff Next time come in with one with multiple parts and have audience members play the parts. I also do an impression of Liam Neeson. Oh, yeah? Get under the bed! Get under the bed! That still sounds like Ray Romano.

No, it's because it's like an Irish accent. You don't have a good ear for accents. Ah! No, you gotta say like... Give him the phone! Guinness! Baked potatoes! That's how you do an Irish accent. Is that Ray Romano?

All right, one more. One more question for you guys. Not so much a question. it's kind of a game. It's called Doug Loves Muppets. Hi-ya! Hi-ya! What film do you think should be remade with Muppets playing all the main parts,

and which Muppets would you cast? I'll give you an example. A guy named Mott Woosel on Instagram suggested a remake of Cape Fear with Sam the Eagle as Max Cady. Whoa! You blew it! Janice from the band, the Muppet band, as Juliette Lewis. Miss Piggy will play the Jessica Lange role, of course. And this is really interesting casting.

Nick Nolte's part is going to be played by Beaker. That guy's way off. Sam the Eagle should play the Nick Nolte part. And Animal should play. Right? This guy's way off. Sam the Eagle should play the Nick Nolte part. And Animal should play. Right? This guy's fired. I'm in. I'm taking over the project.

Okay, hear me out. Do you guys remember the movie State of Play? No. And Fosse Bear plays Russell Crowe. Who else was in that movie? Yeah. I would like to see you pull this out. I'd like to see Rolf the dog play the

Russell Crowe role. Oh yeah, that we can put Fonzie in the like we get him to like we like slick down his hair and he plays the Ben Affleck character. Oh, Ben, that we can put Fozzie in the, like, we get him to, like, we, like, slick down his hair and he plays the Ben Affleck character. Oh, Ben Affleck was in that? Yeah, he plays the other guy. Russell Crowe plays the one guy and Ben Affleck plays the other guy. Come on, there's some sort of...

I can't believe I missed that. I love comedies. Those guys are both hilarious. Chris, what about you you Do you have a Can you recast a Muppet I would do The Raid With Miss Piggy

As the main dude In the raid And then she's just Karate chopping her way Past all the chickens As she makes her way To the top of that building I like it All the Muppet chickens Get them Yeah yeah yeah Get them some work chickens. As she makes her way to the top of that building.

I like it. All the Muppet chickens. Get them some work. That's fun. Gonzo is the main dude at the top. Just in charge of all the chickens. Damn, I got to shoot that. That's going to go viral. That is a good idea with or without Muppets.

Just a movie where... That would be weird if it was just a pig and some chickens. Yeah. Just live action. I was like, babe. Right? They can draw them so they look real. Just make it. What happened?

What about you, Craig? Do you have one that you would like to see? I can't think of the title, but I just want to see Fozzie Bear say, I'm the captain now. Captain Phillips. I'm the captain now. Waka, waka, waka.

Waka, waka. I'm the captain. Kermit would play the Tom Hanks role. Kermit could be Tom Hanks, you know? Yeah. Or Bad Boys with the two dudes in the balcony. Oh, that's a great idea. Oh, that's good.

But now we can CGI them so they look like they're 40. They'll play themselves at 40. Jeff, did you really stand up for that one? He tried to point at the Irishman poster because the audience could hear that. What happened was I fell. I leaned forward too quick, and it was either Stand up or fall down

I did the one That I figured we'd spend less time on Perhaps I was mistaken I mean that's how you initially got into stand up comedy Is it was either that Or fall down Yeah I couldn't find the bathroom

I went the wrong way And I was like yeah I couldn't find the bathroom I went the wrong way and I was like yeah I was on stage well that's great job guys on all of that stuff but here's the part where we transition and I tell our friend Bert Kreischer to turn the show off

because he doesn't like movie trivia and I say let the games begin now Craig if you want to play the games you have to like Chris and Jeff are about to do pick a name tag that you like the most and then that's the person you're gonna be playing on behalf of. Oh, that's dope. But also if you want to split,

this is also a good point for us to cast someone as you for the rest of the show. Yes, cast someone. You want to do that? Yeah. Alright. Let's hear it for them for showing up for some of it. It's Craig Robinson, everybody! See you tonight, buddy. Have a great right let's hear it for him for showing up for some of it it's craig robinson everybody

see you tonight buddy have great shows watch him on disney plus february 7th in timothy j failure that's his full name i you know something just call him Timmy failure but I know the whole thing hey everybody Doug loves movies is coming to Orlando Florida and Houston Texas plus I'll be doing stand-up in Santa Cruz and I'll be in Denver on 420 yeah back! Back to the show. Alright, so we gotta pick somebody to fill in for Craig Robinson. Yeah.

You know, I'd love, we got a couple of dudes up here. I'd love for it to be a lady. Yeah. But we should also make it a little bit of a competition. So let's get some people up here. Crazy Rich Ration, we've been talking about you so much. Do you want to play?

All right, come up on stage. And then the lady with the Texas thing, we've got to get her involved, right? Yeah, come on over. Let's pick one. Was there one more woman that would like to participate that brought a name tag? Oh, she's got a name tag. That shows your enthusiasm. She's got a name tag that shows your enthusiasm. A name tag? Yes, you. And bring your name tag, too. People always leave them behind.

That's why I picked you. It wasn't your personality. Get it. I mean, because I don't know her personality yet. Your husband will get it back, I promise you. Oh, I like the way I just wanted to keep it. Your husband will get it back, I promise you. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I like the way you just take a seat already. Just take it. Boxing people out. Yeah. All right, let's get them all microphones, you guys, so they can play this game. You can stand for it, because it'll be quick. And there you go. And let's get your names real quick. Your name's not Texas.

It's Rebecca's Big Adventures on the back of her Texas sign. And then we've got Blair Bud instead of Air Bud with lots of delicious candies and what's this weed-like substance? She's shrugging, not sure. All right, Blair.

And then, of course, our friend Crazy Rich Raisin. I am here. How many, is this your first, our friend Crazy Rich Raysian. I am here. How many? Is this your first name tag, Crazy Rich? No, it's my third one. Oh, okay. Yeah, we went with Thor Ragnarok and Mad Max Fury Ray.

We landed on this one. Mad Max Fury Ray? Make sure you get on a microphone, Jeff, if you're going to talk. You're Mad Max Fury Ray? I heard about you, man. The message boards were aflame. Okay, just hang out over there, Jeff. Stan, did you see all of those people can't see the other people?

There you go. Great job. Hey, flip this around, Rebecca, because I the other people? There you go. Great job. Hey, flip this around, Rebecca, because I don't want to call you Texas. There you go. And in fact, you might want to put your name tags down, because you guys want to be ready to answer quickly. Because to determine which one of you gets to stay for the rest of the show, we are going to play a game called...

Where the fuck did I write it down on here? We're gonna play... I swear I wrote it down somewhere. No, I don't need... Oh, that's a good idea. Your glasses. Okay, we're going to play How Long Is It? Okay. Yeah, how long is it?

I'm going to name a thing. You guys each get to guess how long you think it is. The person closest without going over, Price is Right style, is the winner. We'll start with Rebecca. Rebecca, and Rebecca how long did Tom Hanks say in hours he watched tapes of mr. Rogers to prepare for his role in Won't You Be My Neighbor? Where, of course, he played Fred Rogers. 125. 125 hours?

125 hours. She's going 125 hours, Blair. What do you think? 10. Blair is thinking Tom Hanks is not that committed. So we have 125 hours 10 hours What do you think Ray?

Oh my god I can't 125 that seems like a lot That's like a week 11 hours Oh classic Price is Right move You just fucking one dollardollared her ass. Hey, you could have played Last Woman.

You picked this. This is according to an interview he did with NPR. We have a clear winner between the three of you because Tom Hanks says that he spent about eight million hours. So Rebecca gets to stay.

Thanks, dude. There you go. Can I get a shiner on the stage? A shiner would be nice. Which is a beer, of course. Yeah, a shiner. He's not asking to be punched in the eye. Please don't punch me in the face.

I'll just take a beer. Yeah. Yeah, China beer. He's not asking to be punched in the eye. Please don't punch me in the face. I'll just take a beer. Yeah. Yeah, Jeff needs to stay in his power seat over there. You can grab right there, Rebecca. Have a seat, Rebecca. Let's hear it for Rebecca. She did it. Thank you to Blair and to Ray for getting up here.

But as you sign back, what do you do for a living Rebecca? I work for Barnes and Noble Okay Very nice What are you going to Never mind What Jeff? I said what are you going to do next?

I think we're It's a bookstore Don't fucking blame me We're going to When do you start an Amazon? Don't blame Jeff for the fact that Jeff never reads books You could keep bookstores open, Jeff, if you just tried. Not single-handedly, I've tried.

What was the last book you read? I'm reading Starless Sea right now. I was talking to Jeff. Which Jack Reacher book did you read most recently? I don't remember which Jack Reacher book I read the most recently? Oh, I don't remember. I don't know. I don't remember which Jack Reacher book I read the most recently. I'm currently reading a book called Labyrinth about the L.A. cop rampart scandal.

All right. And the Biggie and Tupac shootings. It's going to be a movie that keeps getting pushed. So the movie's probably going to be terrible. So I'm just going to read the book. I'm fucking tired of waiting. They're probably not anxious to put out a movie called Labyrinth.

People will just think it's a remake of the David Bowie thing. Man, I was two chapters in before I realized it wasn't about that. Like, I hadn't thought I was about that. You're like, where are the goddamn elves? Wait, so David Bowie played a cop? I don't remember that movie at all.

Direct quote. Okay, so, Rebecca, since you are now an official guest on the show, we don't have time to do all of it, but would you like to pick between recasting a Muppet movie or the last movie you saw or doing an impression? The last movie I saw. Okay, what was that? The Two Popes.

The Two Popes? The Who? Oh. The Two Popes. Oh. Uh, Catholics, I don't know. The Two Popes. No, you're accurate. That's what it's called. Yeah.

And did you like it? I did. I liked it. It's a couple of popes sitting around talking, right? Yeah, they're talking. They're friends. Yeah. But what do they, do they share a joint?

Like, why are they... Pizza. They eat pizza and just talk about being popes. They talk about being popes. Wow. It's really good, Netflix. People say it's great, yeah. It's total bullshit.

They never once are like, have you heard about sex? I heard about it. I heard it was great. You never either? Not one scene. That was filmed It was cut Yeah

Alright well Thank you for that Rebecca And now we're gonna start Oh we also need you to pick somebody to play for Does anybody have Rebecca On their poster You should pick Is there another Rebecca in here?

Or pick something Craig would have picked. I mean, that one's got weed on it. I love Broadway, so I will go Les. Les Miserables. Come on. Whoa. Oh, that was petty from the front. Crazy Rich Asians was like, it's not Douglas Broadway.

It is sometimes though. That's actually really good. Yeah, very good job, Missy. Good luck to you. You don't work at some fool bookstore, do you? No, I'm very happy that

any bookstores still exist. I'm going to be on the record about that. I don't want to get death threats. Okay. Because those librarians will fucking... I don't know why they would care. They're librarians. They work at free book places. Let's start with Jeff's favorite game.

Do you know this one, Rebecca? It's called Purple Rain Man. Yes. Yes, she knows it. Hey, Doug, who are we playing for? Oh, you guys never said? No, I don't think so, right? Yeah. Okay, Jeff, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Ryan. Once upon a time in Hollywood, Ryan.

Once upon a Ryan in Hollywood. It's got me and Doug on it, and I saw that movie, and I liked it, and I didn't see the one with weed on it. It's funny, though, that Brad Pitt makes

that exact same face that I'm making at one point in the movie. He's like, I want to talk to George Spong. And who do you have, Chris? Oh, you got another good one. I am playing for part man, part machine, all cop, Pablo Cop. And Craig Robinson is in the backseat of RoboCop's jail car.

Jail car, I just said? Cop car. He looks happy to be there. Yeah, I'm gonna... Maybe he's... That's Doug Judy. Maybe it's a... From the show. That's a callback. I felt terrible that I

didn't know that he was a recurring once a year character on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Alright, this game, of course, is a mashup title game. I'm going to name the third-billed people in a movie mashup title that I came up with. Actually, it was probably one that was suggested by somebody on the Internet. And I'll go third-billing, then second-billing, then top-billed. First person to give me the full, title first person on stage that is gotta remind people that it's two movies mashed together mm-hmm got it and the people in

the you know the first name is in the first movie in the second names in the second one third build it's a tough game Sam Shepard and John Bernthal. Yeah. What? I don't imagine anybody getting it on that. But this next clue is very helpful. The second build people in this movie mashup title would be Casey Affleck and Christian Bale. People are whispering.

What was the first two names that you said? Sam Shepard and John Bernthal. Sam Shepard and John Bernthal. Casey Affleck and Christian Bale. And then the top-billed people are Brad Pitt and Matt Damon.

And it's not an Ocean's movie. Whoa. The assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford versus Ferrari. That is correct. Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Jesus! I was literally just going, which one's Sam Shepard? Sybil's dad. What movie is Sam Shepard and John Bernthal in? Oh, is that? No, wait, that's not the one.

John Bernthal's in the other one. Yeah, Bernthal's in Ford versus Ferrari. Ferrari. And Matt Damon and Sam Shepard, Casey Affleck at bed. Brad Pitt star. I've never even seen Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford all the way through because I don't have time to ask for a ticket. I'm a busy man. Congratulations, Jeff.

You get to go first in the next game, and that game is Whose Tagline Is It Anyways? I will say to you, Jeff, the tagline of a motion picture. You will have one guess what movie that is out of all the movies ever made, and so you'll probably not get it. Don't feel too bad. And then we'll go to Chris, and then we'll go to Rebecca,

and everybody gets a chance to guess if nobody's getting one right. Jeff, what movie has the tagline, Make Your Own Legend? Make Your Own Legend. Make Your Own Legend. It's probably something about maps. I'll go ahead and tell you right now,

it's not national treasure. Do you like map humor, Rebecca? Don't forget to use your mic. Make your own legend. Ford versus Ferrari. Oh, that would have been a fun twist. That would have been a fun twist, but no, that's not it. Chris? Make your own legend.

Big fat liar. I like it, but no. Rebecca? Since I love Matt humor, I was going to say Master and Commander. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Full title. I got to give it to her.

The Master and Commander. No. Full title. Oh, and Commander? No. Full title. Oh, duh. Wrong game. But isn't it like Master and Commander at the edge of the world or some shit like that? At the far side of the world.

Oh, Ray's so pissed sitting there. He's so mad. He didn't get up on stage and he fucking knows things. If it helps. Take it easy, man. It's not Doug Loves Boats. How's it feel to be on the pointy end of that one? It's okay.

My husband's dying inside right now. He should be here. None of those answers were correct. But it sure was fun. It's for the movie, speaking of movies that are on Netflix, it's for one called

Dolomite Is My Name. Yeah. But let's keep going. Might get easier. Jeff? The movie's about maps. The Dora the Explorer. The Lost City of Gold

Jeff what movie had the tagline Check out his package Check out his package Now that might be Ford vs Ferrari Check out his package be Ford versus Ferrari. Check out his package. Okay, Magic Mike XXL. I mean, that'd be some pretty direct marketing to have no...

It's not a pun at all. It's just like, look at his fucking junk. Were they going for subtlety? Chris? Oh, what's the... I might have the wrong name, but the Vince Vaughn movie where he donated a bunch of sperm.

It's called, like, Delivery Man? Something like that? Wait, he donated a lot of sperm. Why would anyone say, check out his package? Well, the title's delivery, man. Because it's all fucking purple and bruised. He won't stop jacking off at that clinic. It's a mangled fucking dick that's been overjacked.

That's what that movie's about. He's a jacked up little dick. The tagline should be, he's delivered too many packages. Delivery man. Or, you don't want this package. Delivery man. Or you don't want this package. Delivery man. Return to sender. What do you think it is, Rebecca?

I'm going to say the shop girl. Oh, shop girl. Okay, it's just shop girl. Settle down. You don't have to throw the in front of everything. The Jaws? The The Sting? The answer to check out his package is Sausage Party. Sausage Party.

You're up again, Jeff. Oh, man. What movie had the tagline, Kick Some Past? Kick Some Past. You're up again, Jeff. Oh, man. What movie had the tagline, kick some past? Kick some past. I fucking know. Like, I've seen this one. I'm positive I've seen whatever movie this is.

Kick some past? Is it Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure? No! Chris, is it Hot Tub Time Machine? That is correct! I've never seen it. It, I don't think it is. It isn't one of those movies, you're not sure what it's about

unless you see it. Hot Tub Time Machine. I don't like, I don't like movies that promote misbehavior on the pool deck. Right? You gotta be safe. Can't we take something seriously? Jesus. Do you know how many people die because

of slip and falls because of the hot tub time machine? Probably six or seven. And those are avoidable deaths. And those are avoidable deaths. One guy tried to get the chant going. Right? Didn't catch on.

One guy now. But it's all it takes to light the spark of a rebellion. Can't wait till that ninth one comes out. All right, Jeff has one point. No, he doesn't. Oh, sorry, Chris. Same. I mean, that was kind of right.

It's me and you, Pablo. We're trying to win this shit. And Rebecca's here. I feel bad about it too. But you get to go first this time, Rebecca. What movie had the tagline, Soak Harder? Soak Harder. Nothing?

Nothing Jeff? Hot tub time machine 2? Yeah Yeah that's right Does he have a point now, Chris? Yeah, unfortunately. Okay. Chris, you gotta go first on this next one.

Okay. Did they make a three? Okay, just making sure. No, we could ask Craig about it. Hot Thrub Time Machine. That's what it would be called. Hot what? Thrub.

Thrub? Combine two and three. What? I'm going to save that edible you gave me for the bus ride home. Whatever. You want this to be what's going on in your head when you're on a fucking bus later? Yeah. I'm in a safe space.

Any one of these people will tell me where my hotel is. Chris, what movie had the tagline? What would you do to get out of debt? What would you do to get out of debt? What would you do to get out of debt? What would you do to get out of debt? Fucking uncut gems. I got nothing. That is a good tagline.

It's debt based. I mean, clearly it's wrong. But it's a good guess. I wish I was giving out points for good guessing. But Rebecca, any idea? Can I use a lifeline? No. Oh, maybe later.

Maybe later. Don't get ahead of yourself. But, you know, just think about the things people would do to get out of debt. And while you're at it, think about Craig Robinson movies. Yeah, I was trying to figure that out. I just figured that out. Craig Robinson is in all these movies. out Craig Robinson is in all these movies

all right I'll go ahead and say it it's Zack and Mary make a porno mm-hmm I didn't even get a guess Jeff what's your guess? The goods. That had more words in the title, too. So hard, so harder. Yeah. No, it was just the goods. This is like this live-dive-repeat shit a guy added on DVD. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's interesting. I promise. I'll talk to the corrections department about that. I mean, it doesn't matter, though. But again, another good guess. But it was Zack and Mary Make a Porno. But that means that Jeff and Chris in this particular game are tied for the win. So we're going to do a tiebreaker to determine who goes first in our final game of the day.

All you got to do, guys, is just say the movie out loud. Whichever one of you says it first is the winner. Nothing ruins a party like the end of the world. Ah, Jeff got it barely. Good job, Jeff. Tate, Tate, Tate.

It's just not really catching on today But maybe he wins The whole thing You guys can save it up for that But I'm rooting for Rebecca and Chris And we're gonna play To determine a winner We're gonna play Last Woman Standing

Or Stanton Stanton makes even going to play Last Woman Standing! Or Stanton. Stanton makes even less sense as Last Woman. But anyway, several people in the audience reached out to me on Twitter with telling me they have ideas for names to use in Last

Woman Stanton. So I will reach out to them. And Rebecca, you know how this game works yes I do okay so we'll start we'll start once again with Jeff but we'll switch the order around and I like to play so it'll go Jeff me Rebecca Chris and where is Milo gin my Logan my Logan and you What's your actual name? Milo. Your last name's not Logan?

Something else. Okay. I get it, Milo. Stay low profile. What's your social security number? He's like, my name's already Milo. People know me. People are aware of me.

All right, Milo. Do you have a lady? This is a ladies only edition uh and if you match the name that i have written down and put in my wallet you will automatically win the doug vinson pin instead of the prize bag winner tonight who is your suggestion milo kim basinger excellent suggestion it's not a match I love Kim Basinger. Excellent suggestion. It's not a match, but she's a good one. We're going to get more, though.

Don't panic, everybody on stage, because Kim Basinger has been in a lot of movies, but not so many lately. Once or twice, but don't say any in the audience. Where is... I think I've spoken to this person before. It's a pretty memorable Twitter name. HBO CEO of Tits. It's

fucking Ray? It's crazy. I mean, yeah. Like, if I had a guess, it's the Ray ass name. Wait, why are you... Did you just lose a bet? Yeah.

Oh, you're chipping in for the check. Okay, that was such weird timing. I had someone across the table money. Like, oh, I knew that was going to happen. Okay, so we already know your name is Ray. And what lady would you like to suggest today? Frances McDormand. Frances McDormand.

That's another good actress, Academy Award winner, but probably not enough for an exciting match today. So we're going to get a third name from someone named Malkatraz. Where's Malkatraz at? What? You're here with Rebecca? I don't pay attention to him, so it's okay. It's just always so weird how these seem like rage just from being the one I picked.

It's like such a weird... For sure. ...coinkydink. All right, so what's your actual name, dude? Roger. Why are you called Malkatraz? It's like Charlie Sheen.

Like you can't even explain it. It's Charlie Sheen's nickname. Charlie Sheen's nickname for what? For John Malkovich. For John Malkovich. In being John Malkovich. In being John Malkovich. He calls him Malkatraz. Okay.

Thank you for doing that impression off microphone. You make all my guests look bad with your amazing impression. Hey, Malkatraz! Hey, Malkatraz! Hey, when can I escape? I'm in your hand. I will say my husband would do way better on this than me. Better than a Ray Romano impression?

I kind of hope so. Okay, so what's your suggestion, Roger? Laura Dern. Laura Dern, okay. Why is that so funny, Jeff? I don't know. I can't. I'm taken aback by a lot of this.

It's a lot to take in. Okay, so we've got the films of either Kim Basinger, Francis McDormand, or Laura Dern. None of them are in my wallet. So prize bag today gets the pin. Jeff, you know I like to play along, but you get to go first. So start us off. L.A. Confidential. That's the movie that Kim Basinger won Best Supporting Actress Oscar for.

Oh, I didn't know that. Can I change my answer? Nuh-uh. It's a protest. It's my turn, though, now. Oh, sorry. Yeah, we're going to go around that way. Gotcha.

I mean, sometimes we go the other way, but we don't always go the other way But We don't always go the other way What I'm trying to say is never say never again Oh Who was in that? Kim Basinger She was the Bond girl in that Bond movie Rebecca I'll say Marriage Story

Very good, Laura Dern Possibly going to win the Oscar week from tomorrow For that movie Chris Rebecca? I'll say Marriage Story. Very good. Laura Dern could possibly get away in the Oscar week from tomorrow for that movie. Chris? The Getaway. Mm-hmm. Kim Basinger. Basinger and Alec Baldwin.

Yeah, when they were a thing. Jurassic Park. Oh, I love the way you did that. Like you're the guy welcoming everybody Welcome to Jurassic Park We haven't tested everything yet Good luck, have a good time I'm a rich asshole

Welcome to my dumb island Will you watch my kids? I gotta go check the fences Don't worry, they don't want to eat people We've got at least two or three goats Will you watch my kids? I gotta go check the fences. Don't worry, they don't want to eat people. We've got at least two or three goats. We should have maybe got more goats, but we'll be fine. We thought the goats would make more goats, and turns out that takes a while.

Yeah, they're being terrorized by dinosaurs. They're not making any new ghosts. They're too scared to fuck. Too scared to fuck. Jeff Tate story. Whose turn is it? Oh, it's mine. So you said Jurassic Park.

Okay. Um. Oh, it's mine. So you said Jurassic Park. Okay. Okay. I just want to say something normal, but I'm just too wild at heart. I was trying to sit on that one. Rebecca. You can do this. I can do this. And you have one lifeline, who is Pablo Cop.

Nope. Who is Missy, Le Missy Robles. Do you want to go to her? No. I know it's three billboards. Oh, I see. I see what's happening. And I'm trying to finish the rest. Yeah, that's the thing.

If you were also into maps... I mean, this is where being a real map head comes in handy. Yeah. Is it a real place, or was it made up for the movie? Made up. Ray, of course. Ray again. Ray was on top of that. You know, I think it's a real place, though.

Now what are you going to do, Ray? You don't know shit. I know it. I'm the map head. And I wrote it right there. Ebbing. Or whatever it is. Did you hear that, Rebecca?

Did you hear Jeff say it? He just said it. He said Ebbing. He did three billboards from Ebbing. Are they inside? Are they indoor billboards? They're outside. Yeah.

That's how you can light them on fire. All right. Three billboards. You got the next word. You just said it. Yeah, we're trying. We're trying, Rebecca. We're trying.

We're trying to get you to say it. I already stopped. Oh, I lost y'all's heart. Trace billboards. Trace billboards. Outside. Ebbing. Ebbing. We've established all of those words.

You just need one more word. What state is ebbing in? What state? You can swear. You can swear. You can swear. You can swear, too. She's like, oh, shit. She covered her mouth all cute.

Zip, zip. Zip. Zip. Zip. It doesn't have it. Okay, let's break it down for you. It's not California. It's not.

It's not Mississippi, but it's close. It's closer. Alphabet? Not geographically. Like, as a word, it's close. It's closer. Alphabet? Not geographically. Like, as a word, it's closer. Why are you so... Oh. It's not map-based.

I'm saying, like, word is closer. What part of the country was it, that movie? Do you remember that? Like, was it north or south? I'm trying. A Blake. I'm so sorry. I think...

Oh, Jeff's going to write it down for you. Jeff's going to write it down for you. Missouri. There you go! She said it! Missouri! Yay! If you motherfuckers don't cheat for me like that, I'm going to be so mad.

Just kidding. I mean, Missy could have helped her probably. Did you know it, Missy? No. That's me? Mm-hmm. I mean Missy could have helped her probably Did you know it Missy? No That's me 8 Mile Yes Kim Basinger

Where? A Mile Outside What? A Mile Outside Detroit, Michigan I think it's in there, isn't it? It's eight miles from city center, hence the name. The city's smaller than eight miles?

It's a dot. Listen, you don't want to come at me when it's map related. Here's a god damn it almost famous you're trying to think of a fun way to say it and you just spit it out and then I was taking too much time

that's fair you know who would know would definitely know Some Laura Dern movies If we asked some little women I was trying to do that With Almost Famous But I fucked it up

You fucked it up Back to you Rebecca I'm going to say Star Wars No Okay Are we doing this? So there are several more wars involved. The Last Jedi.

Wait. What happened? Which one's in that? She just said The Last Jedi. Okay. Good job. Chris? Oh shit. It's my turn. Fargo. I forgot Laura Dern was in there with that weird purple hair Fargo, Frances McDormand, best actress

Yes, go Burn after reading No don't do that because Rebecca wants to stay In the book business Well no if every time you read a book you burn it Then you have to buy another book Oh okay So please burn your books that's what we're

saying as book lovers as people who love books that's the new marketing that we're going for i like it okay this is getting uh getting down to it i going to have to go with I'm just going to sit here and make weird noises. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and pass it along to you guys because I don't want to keep everybody. Ray is just like he can't believe it.

He's like, why is Doug tapping out? There's so many more movies that all three of these ladies have been in. It's crazy. But go ahead. Oh, okay, I'll say one. Because I finally thought of one. Oh, but I can't.

No, I'm not going to get the words right. Let's go to Rebecca. Do you want to go to your lifeline? I'm going to use my lifeline. Missy, what do you got? She's got something. Batman. Yeah, Kim Basinger.

Yeah. Did the bad dance in Batman. For sure. Vicki Vale. Vicki Vale. Chris? Vicki. Vicki, Vicki, Vicki.

Vicki Vale. Shit. Right? Vicky. Vicky, Vicky, Vicky. Vicky Vale. Shit. Right? This is tough. Citizen Ruth? Mm-hmm. Very good one. Raising Arizona. Jeff's playing fast. God damn it, the turnaround.

Yeah, he's trying to get Rebecca out of here. I'm out of here. And he succeeded. Okay. I mean, it wasn't specific to... No, we all get it. We get it. We get it. What's the full title? Yeah. Son of a bitch. Jurassic Park.

The Lost World? I mean, there is a movie. They call that, but she's not in it. Where they switch it, but she's not in it. What's her name with the red hair? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Julianne Moore. There you go.

Sorry, Pablo. Do you want to go to your lifeline? Oh, yeah. Lifeline. Pablo. Blood Simple. Blood Simple. Blood Simple. Pablo. Blood Simple. Nice pull.

Early Coen brothers. Wonder Boys. Wonder Boys. Coming in hot. He said that with so much confidence. I know he has another one behind it. I got dozens, man. Dozens. Sure. dozens, man. Dozens.

Oh, but so she's in part two, which is Jurassic Park part two? The Lost World. No, I already said that one. But the second one is called Jurassic Park

The Lost World. I said that the last time. And y'all told me no, and she's not in it. No, she's said that one. But the second one is called Jurassic Park The Lost World. I said that the last time. And y'all told me no, that she's not in it. No, she's in the third. They switch it at the third one, right? Right, but then that's Bryce Dallas Howard. No, there are three Jurassic Parks before they get to her. Right? Am I fucking losing my mind?

But Laura Dern hasn't come back yet. She's in part two? No, she's in the third one. What does she do? Which is called? And what does she do? She like just cuts a ribbon or something? And what is the name of that movie?

Hang on, you guys. Hang on. Hang on. Don't, don't, don't. Okay, so it's, she's apparently in the third one. So what do you think it's called? Right, and I thought it was called The Lost World, but clearly it's not. So what would you call it if you were naming the third Jurassic Park movie?

Jurassic Park 3. Yeah, Jurassic Park 3. Oh, nice! That much I did know. I don't remember that Laura Dern was in it because it sucks balls. It's not a good movie. What's his name is in it? All right.

Back to you, Jeff. The Nice Guys. Why are you racing through this, by the way? The Nice Guys, I said it. To make it harder on your competition? Clearly. Yeah, yeah. I mean, this is how I win.

Clearly. But I've got a length of a show I need to do and I don't need this to be over right away. So take a second. Wait for me to call your name. Pretend you've done the show millions need to do and I don't need this to be over right away. So take a second. Wait for me to call your name. Pretend you've done the show millions of times. Yeah. Think with your beard a little bit.

Whose turn is it, Chris? Oh yeah, because he yelled a thing. Hold on, let me think with my beard real quick. So Francis McDormand, Laura Dern. I'm sorry. We're out of time. Oh, damn it.

I ain't got nothing. I'm drawing a hard blank. Does Pablo have another one? He says Blue Velvet. Blue Velvet. Yeah. Jeff? You're playing against Pablo now.

See, I called your name. That's when I want you to say a title. Well, I was going to wait nine and a half weeks. Yes. There it is. There it is. All right, let's do this. Jeff Tate is our winner! See, I knew that would be a good chant.

Because you deserved it, Jeff. And do you have more titles, Jeff, locked up there? Nope. That was really it? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I got more Coen Brothers, I could say. Raising Arizona. You said that already. Did I say that already? I mean... There's definitely a few

she wasn't in. What's the one with the ballot of the so-and-so? What's his name? Buster Scruggs. Buster Scruggs. God damn it. Yeah, Ballot of Buster Scruggs. Fargo, we did say already. Buster Scruggs. God damn it. Yeah, Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Fargo, we did say already. Hudsucker, the man who wasn't there, she's in the man who wasn't there. Hail Caesar.

Uncredited secretary of the process. Ray, you should have been. Ray, you should have done better in that game you did. Yeah. Good job. Alright, Rebecca, do you have anything you'd like to plug? Buy more books.

Yes! Read the book first. I love that. That's a great plug. Chris Cubis? Check out my podcast, Canceled. We watch TV shows that only last one season. We're watching a show called QED where

Sam Watterson plays a like Sherlock Holmes-esque inventor who solves crimes and made it six episodes in the 80s and he is a dickhead. The whole show he's just like, hey stupid, let me do that for you. He's just real mean. It's pretty fun.

Who plays this part? Sam Watterson. Who's always very, you know, upstanding, likable people. No, the whole show. Every time someone says something, he's like, oh, I can't believe you figured it out. He's like, yeah, I'm not stupid. Like, you are stupid. Like, he's

just real mean about it. I want to see this. It's on YouTube. You should watch it. It's pretty fun. It's also just racist enough because it's like 1981. So like the Japanese are bad for some reason. Oh yeah, I remember 81.

I remember that. What's the name of the show again? QED. Quentin Everhard Deverell is the character's name. Wow man no wonder he's a dick Yeah I think I didn't see that the first time around Because QED just doesn't

Grab you as an interesting thing No but not interesting at all Okay speaking of His Moriarty on the show Sank the Titanic He just drops it in the first Episode he's like, you'd be surprised what a well-placed

iceberg could do. Ha ha ha ha. And then it's like, oh, you killed thousands of people. This isn't a fun thing you're talking about. Hang on. This guy can decide where icebergs go? Apparently, yes. Wow. This is a real villain. This is a real fucking

Thanos type. Is there any closure? Do they wrap it up nicely in episode six? Does he quit the detective agency to spend his days trying to trick all of our grandparents into reverse mortgages? Oh, did it get a little real?

Sam Antonio. He's not in those ads anymore, though. It's Tom Selleck now. Oh, he aged out. The beginning of the ad, he goes, you know, this isn't my first rodeo. And then he talks about reverse mortgages. And it's like, you know what? I don't think you've been to a rodeo.

I don't think you've been to a rodeo i don't think you've been to any rodeos if you think talking about reverse mortgages in a park is a rodeo right i mean this isn't even a rodeo the thing where you're like this isn't my first rodeo are you just repeating what i just said i think so it's important we need to get it out there what do you got to plug jeff uh on february 8th i'm at a place in santa cruz california called dna's comedy lab and on oh that's neat i'm gonna be there uh march 7th really oh man let's keep doing this you name a place i'll tell you when i'm going to be there. Okay, March 4th, I'm in Chicago. I'll be there in May. Yeah, right.

I'm at a place called Ad North Bar, March 4th. March 5th, I'm in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Nope. Sorry, Eau Claire. But it's right between Chicago and Minneapolis, where I am March 6th and 7th. Minneapolis, a place called Comedy Corner Underground. I'll be back to Minneapolis. Yep, I'm sure that's coming up. Sometime this year, we're working on it.

And the second and fourth Tuesday of every month now, I do a movie trivia game at a place called Chameleon in Northside in Cincinnati. So the next one is February 11th at 8 o'clock. They got dope pizza and I write movie trivia questions.

Wow. I want to go to that. They're not very hard, but they are wordy. And who were you playing for again? I was playing for Ryan. Hey, Ryan, come get all your prizes. Congratulations. Congratulations. Where is he?

Can you figure out a way to get over here? It's complicated. That's why not everyone is a comedian, because just finding your way to the stage is the hard part. Yeah, all that stuff there on the floor is yours. Thank you so much for participating. The pin fell off of the bag there. See it? Yeah, there you go.

Congratulations, Ryan. He drove here from Illinois. What happened? He drove here from Illinois. Almost 16 hours. Are you serious? 16 hour drive. That's insane. Wow. Let's hear it for Ryan, everybody. Holy crap.

I'm going to be in Chicago in May, dude. Yeah, what? What problems are you escaping? Well, don't bring them up. Good job escaping. I'll be in Chicago. That's in Illinois. I'm doing stand-up.

I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in Tampa, Florida on Thursday, February 27th. Bring your name tags and be like Rebecca here and find out how insanely hard this stuff can be. Do you want to say your last name on the podcast or do you want to keep it first name only? All right. One more time for all of my guests.

Rebecca, Chris Cubis, Jeff Tate, and Craig Robinson. Thank you, LOL Comedy Club. Thank you, San Antonio. I can always count on you guys to show up. It's been a while since the last time, so I'll try to come back sooner. And as always, positive energy! Whoo!