Doug Loves Movies - Chris Hardwick, Kevin Pereira, and Olivia Munn Guest

Episode Date: June 30, 2009

On his first theme show, Doug welcomes 'Attack of the Show' co-hosts Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn and 'Web Soup' host Chris Hardwick to the podcast. Recorded at the UCB Theatre Los Angeles on June 16th, 2009 (a week before Michael Jackson died, fyi).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody Welcome to I Love Movies at the UCB Theater. Fantastic turnout. That was a nice, loud ovation there at the beginning. For some reason, people have been sending me comments. Maybe it was one person. You know how when one person writes to you and says something about something, you go, oh, everybody feels this way. But it's just one dick. But anyway, this one dick wrote to me and said that,

was there even an audience there at the last podcast? It was hilarious, but nobody was laughing. And it's like, well, there's some variables involved that this guy doesn't understand. You know, first of all, there's about ten people here. No, no, it was a good turnout, but, you know, we're not micing the audience that heavily because we count on the listener to find the jokes themselves.

You know what I mean? It's fun for us during the live performance to have you here laughing. That helps encourage us and make us, you know, continue with riffs that seem to be working but the listener could decide on their own so announcements and listeners if you think something's funny fucking laugh at it and don't sit there going why isn't anybody laughing at it well because we don't have fucking microphones in their faces this is the ucb theater that we're coming to you from, live.

Right before Comedy Death Ray, which happens every Tuesday at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles. You can go to ucbtheaterre.com for more info. I like to do movie reviews in eight words or less, so I'll do one of those before I bring our guests out. Eight words or less with a hashtag in front of it is something I write on Twitter quite a bit to try to get the notion out there and to get people to write reviews, because then there's Comedy Death Ray Radio. Have you guys heard that?

Two of you have heard it, good. Comedy Death Ray Radio, I go on there and I'll read some of the best ones from Twitter on Comedy Death Ray, because it go on there and I'll read some of the best ones from Twitter on Comedy Death Ray. Because it's on Friday and movies open on Friday. It's perfect. But here's one eight words or less review for a movie that's coming out. We're taping this on a Tuesday and then the podcast will come out on the weekend.

The Proposal opens on Friday. So here's my eight words of last review of the proposal. Here's a proposal. See year one instead. Now, I could have said see the hangover instead would work too. Just the same amount of words. So see the hangover or year one instead of the proposal is what I propose. Let's bring out our guests.

I've decided, you know how it is, I change my mind about a lot of the things that go into the format of this show. So if you're listening right now, I apologize at some point, I will get this exactly right and you'll be like, you can listen

and you know exactly what you're going to get. But I decided that from now on, or at least until i get tired of it or the listeners complain or one dick complains i'm going to do theme shows i'm going to bring out guests that are are connected somehow and then talk to them about movies like the connection could be extremely vague and probably will be when it's hard because it's hard to book a theme show. But traffic permitting, I think I've got a great theme show for you guys because my guests tonight, one of whom wasn't here a few minutes ago, but hopefully will be here soon. Guests tonight are the co-hosts and an occasional guest host, an often guest host, and he often appears on,

from the program Attack of the Show on G4. Let's hear it. Please welcome co-hosts Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn and frequent guest host Chris Hardwick. Let's hear it for the three of them. Let's get them out here. As I suspected, it's just two of them. No Mun. No Mun.

No Olivia Mun. Now this isn't some sick joke I'm playing on everybody. No, no. She is in traffic. Is that right, Kevin? Yes, she was posing for a red light camera. That would be a terrible joke. I'm going to bring out the guys And then say Olivia But she's not gonna

That wouldn't pay off at all It's just a fucking Banana factory up here Right now But eventually We're gonna get a donut In the mix Should we get a

Should we get a bowl To place our junk inside So we can display it I get the people Listening to the podcast Won't get to see that That's how podcasts work right Won't get to see that

I'm glad you got my email about the audience, though. Thank you. That was rude of you to say that, and also true. Chris, of course, also, yeah, you can pull that out of there. Yeah, you can just hold it. Good, now we got the bowl.

We just need you to talk into it. That's the key thing. And hopefully Olivia will wander onto the stage when she arrives. Right when you hear, good night! Hey everybody! That's our show! I'm on the cover of Playboy! We don't have time for that shit!

So she's coming from Santa Monica. Oh snap! She's really here everybody! Could you guys all leave and I'll do the intro over again? That'd be good No, please sit down Oh yeah, you got your purse

Don't do that to me I was actually recruiting people to come inside Alright, talk into this thing I was handing out flyers outside Which flyers? That's nice Was it my linens and things flyer? Yes, we have that.

I do, actually. It's still in my back pocket from the show. Olivia was on the cover of Playboy. What do you mean, was? It is, sorry. But it was revealed today on Attack of the Show. When does it hit newsstands? Friday. By the time you're listening to this,

it will be on newsstands. Did you say there's a lot of badge? There's a lot of VADs. So by the time you're listening to this, it will be on newsstands. Did you say there's a lot of VADs? There's a lot of VADs. Approximately how much? You don't actually show VADs. She showed me one of the proofs for the photo. I was like, what do you think of this? I'm like, the bikini or the fact that I can see the top of the Unpolished of Holies?

Yeah, I did not like it. You know what you should have done? Wait, we can see the top of your VADs? They try to get top VADs. They try to. I have not. Hi. How are you?

Olivia knows someone in the audience. Yeah, I'm not quite sure. I'm like leaning in. I'm not quite sure because I haven't seen the photo-proofed picture, but there might be like a hint of like of a lump or something. That doesn't sound healthy. You might see partialial Mound. I'll pitch a few from there.

Won't make it to home. They should have just gotten a sluttier girl and you just point at a vagina. Check that one out. Or maybe they'll just Photoshop another one on. Vaginas are not pretty. I beg to differ. Each one is delicate.

That's what works out so great. The only thing more disgusting than a vagina is a fucking penis. No! I think penises, if large enough, are beautiful. Then you would have liked our bowl idea. It works out perfectly. We were all going to whip it out and put it in a bowl. That's a great idea.

What happened to that idea? But then you brought a cover. Kevin was also on a cover. He was on the cover of linens and things. That's the finest windshield flyer you will find. I try to do as many visual jokes on the podcast as I can. Wait, no.

Doug, check out this cool thing I can do with my hands. That was awesome. Wow, no. Doug, check out this cool thing I can do with my hands. That was awesome. Wow, you had an applause for that. He just caught 75 quarters off of his elbow. Listeners. He totally beat Fonzie's record. So, um...

Didn't Fonzie do that on Happy Days at one point? Catch a bunch of quarters off his elbow? Let's say he did. Let's say he did move on. I don't know why he needed them because he could just turn the jukebox on like that, so why would you need

those five quarters? What a fucking show-off. What a showboat Fonzie was. Fuck Fonzie in the face. Fuck him in the face. Who cares? The fucking Super Bowl would be playing on the TV at the bar, and he'd come in and hit the jukebox and turn it on. That is uncool.

Okay, they had a flat screen in the bar on Happy Days. Okay, so let's get into the show, shall we? Did Dunk offer you guys water? No. I didn't, but we can all share from the same one if you want. Now, there's waters backstage,

but there's usually like a hanging out backstage. Oh, wait, Chris is going to get some waters. And a Cornish game pen, please. Here, bud. You can start with that one. I didn't drink out of it yet. And Kevin's going to get one soon. And I'll talk to you guys about you before Chris gets back.

Favorite subject. This isn't a video podcast, is it? No, no, no. There's no cameras. I can tell because you're just like this the whole time. Oh, yeah, yeah. I can just totally read right off of a piece of paper. That's what I do. Every quip just like this the whole time. Oh, yeah, yeah. I can just totally read right off of a piece of paper. That's what I do.

Every quip is written down ahead of time. Oh, look at that. Thank you, Chris Hartley. So, Olivia, it says here that you were working on a few different movies of late. I was. And they're all in the can, as they say? Or your work? Yes, it's in the can.

You're taking it in the front in one of them now. You did something weird. I want to go home. Batter up! I want to go home. You are in a Broken Lizard movie? Yes, Freeloaders. Called Slammin' Salmon or Freeloaders?

There's two different movies. I did both of their last movies. Oh, okay okay because IMDB says AKA and then says another name but they've got two movies that haven't

come out yet Slammin' Salmon and Freeloaders wow yeah and you're in both of them yes I am

nice thanks thanks guys for the round of applause no it's cool it's cool whatever you clap when

he does this but then yeah it's cool again another visual that was an awesome hand gesture You clap when he does this, but then... Yeah, it's cool. Again, another visual. That was an awesome hand gesture. It totally was.

I'm live. Watch it on the iTunes visualizer. It'll trip you out. And then you did a... This is, to me, the most impressive thing. I don't know. I have no idea how big your part is I mean I know that one day I got to fill in for you on Attack of the Show because you were

so busy working on this but you're in a Tina Fey, Steve Carell movie called Date Night those people are like the nicest people in Hollywood by the way I think that when you're more successful you need to be a bitch like this guy, that's how you know you're successful.

But I did Date Night and then that was two weeks on that movie and then I shot another secret movie that I'm actually not allowed to say. That's why I didn't bring it up. I respect that. Is it the much-anticipated movie about the book The Secret?

Yeah. I wish this movie was over. It happened! Turns out The Secret? I thought it was The Secret. I wish this movie was over. It happened! Turns out The Secret for happiness in life? Be hot. Starring Olivia Munn. No.

And when does Date Night come out? April 2010. I'm glad you added that because I was like, oh oh shit my time machine's broken you have a time machine? you can only go back a couple months at a time I don't care

so if you're doing anything in April let's do it when you get it fixed go back in time and fix it oh fuck yeah nerds yeah

time jokes do the cool hand thing it's fine yeah let me ask you this Do the cool hand thing. It's fine. Let me ask you this at Nerdist. And then I'll get to you at Olivia Munn and you at Kay Pereira.

Pereira is a hard name to spell though. It's not easy. When you Google your name and spell it wrong, it fixes it. It does that for everything. I didn't know Google Google knew who I was. Well, Google knows who everyone is. What's wrong with you?

Oh, me too. You too? I got my name on Facebook. I didn't get it either. There was a name grab the other day. Why'd you guys miss it? You're the three biggest nerds in the world. I was about an hour and a half late.

I was two seconds late. And someone got Olivia Dotman, too, didn't they? They got them all. They got them all. You guys all you guys were so mm late I'm so happy about that one okay so when you go on the road just to make do the whole setup before you do that joke yeah I'm all sitting there and then I said this you were you Chris you played the arson investigator in Johnson Family Vacation. Why do I have to do that?

Why is that a bad thing? It's a job. What is that? No one here has seen that movie. So I'm wondering what arson investigator means. Was Cedric the entertainer set on fire? Oh, right. In that movie?

Doug, awful, awful, awful. Here's the thing. Several years ago, Johnson Family Vacation was basically an African-American version of the film Vacation.

Yes. It means hip. It does. It means urban and for the kids. Oh, is that the one with the girl from Cosby Show?

Probably. So I did it, and I worked on it one day, and I really was essentially a featured extra, but my ego called it a cameo. And then I got cut out of it in the end. I never even saw the movie, but I don't think I'm in it. But occasionally I'll get the $3 JFV check You know, that rolls in

What about Deleted scenes on the DVD, did you check that out? I really Did you show up in there? Oh, we gotta show these motherfuckers that awesome investigator scene That'll tie that shit together Cause my buddy, you know, our buddy Brian Postini

That character was Russian That was a Russian character My name's Dimitri motherfucker socialism has a small part in sex drive and I watched the extra or the unrated version and he's got two more lines so check that out everybody was that an impression of Ryan what What the fuck? That's not one of the lines. Was that an impression of Ryan? What the fuck? What the fuck, bro?

He didn't say that. He just made references that were clearly too old for the audience that Sex Drive was aimed at for the regular release. And then in the unrated version, instead of adding more nudity, they add more lines that the young audience doesn't understand. Like good Fonzie quarter jokes.

What's up with Vicky the robot? We can't use that. She's so literal. Is that Scooby Doo? No. I'm trying to figure out what you're doing. But the biggest news movie-wise with Chris Hardwick is

he'll be appearing in... A cameo in... H2, which is short for... Halloween. Oh, I thought it was some sort of something on the energy scale or something. Periodic Table of Elements. It's Halloween, right? H2, no.

This time, I think that's pissed. It was a sequel to the remake of Halloween. Which is why he had to grow out facial hair. I did grow out facial hair. So you're in H2 with facial hair? My mom was here yesterday because we did this thing on our show called the Megadare where Kevin and I go-kart blindfolded and we have people in our ear, like people that we trust giving us directions.

I chose my mother who is Asian and has a horrible accent. And then he chose a Spanish-speaking day laborer. He was a day laborer. Yeah. He was great. Miguel was awesome. I don't know what that means, but I'm trying to remember. Yes, his name was actually Carlos.

You pulled up to, like, Pico and La Brea and got a day laborer? You know what we got to do for the shoot sometime? We had to spend a lot of money. I love it, because I always want to pull up and just hire those guys for the most random shit. Like, you know, can you, like, check my MySpace and write back to some people? Oh, my God, that would be great. Did one of your immigrant henchmen get my Facebook address? Is that what you're trying to tell me?

That's what I'm telling you, yes. We totally have it now. But my mom thought you were so nice. Oh man, Chris, he's so nice. Why not he shave? Oh my God. He's pubes. Why he have such wild, crazy pubes?

Yeah, he's so wild, crazy pubes? He's so handsome, but the hair. Why he not shave? She's right. Why I no shave? I don't know. So she likes every man clean shaven, or is it just special for him? Maybe just him.

Maybe your face is so pretty, you're coming up with all that hair. I think that's what the real story is all about. I don't know. That's funny. So you start shooting soon? I already shot it. It's in the can. Wait, wait, wait.

You grew that for the movie? And you still have it? No, this is just being lazy. Oh, okay. You're on a weekly TV show, right? I'm on a weekly television program, yes. Which show? It's called Whip Soup.

Oh, wow. That sounds irreverent. Do you show viral videos? Oh, we show viral videos. Yeah. Is it with your witty, sarcastic sense of humor? Yes. Look out, internet.

Here I come. And I don't know if you guys have missed it, but Chris has been on 17 different TV shows promoting WebSoup and apparently the Spriggs barbecue thing is the only clip that could show. Really? That's a great song.

It's great. It's really good. Have you guys seen any movies lately? Wait, wait, wait. Would it be a major spoiler alert if you told us whether you live or die in H2? Die.

I live. Die. Live. Or do I? Yes, I do. You do? Yeah. That's where he lives.

I live and I'm in the You live just like you did in Terminator 3 so that you could not be in the next one. You live on to not return. Can I tell you about

Engineer No. 2 and Terminator 3? Please, please. Give me an ear you about Engineer No. 2 and Terminator 3? Please, please Give me an earful Engineer No. 2, you don't see if he fucking dies or not There should be fan fiction about Engineer No. 2 Because he ostensibly Is one of the people that is responsible

For putting Skynet online And I want to know more about that fucking guy You see nothing Of the actual shit that is mentioned in his name? No, nothing. It's engineer number two. He's number two.

Engineer number two. You know, they give Christian Bale $20 million to talk like gravel. Like, I want to fucking hear about engineer number two

and what he was up to. What was his preschool like? Gravel was booked. Yeah, gravel. Gravel has a big movie coming out this summer called Transformers 2. That reminds me,

I was supposed to interview Michael Bay for something, and I put out to Twitter, I said, oh, tweet me questions for Michael Bay, and someone said, ask him if he got molested by an explosion as a child. Ask him, do you mind stopping? How about now? Could you quit it?

How about now? Now? quit it? How about now? Now? We're done. We're there. Now? I'm going to see Transformers 2, even though I hated Transformers 1. Absolutely. I'm still going to go.

You hated it? I get fooled every time. Wait, why did you hate it? It was boring. Did you hate it too, Kevin? I liked the CG, but it was... There was no characters to get interested in. I didn't.

Everybody that I talked to loved it. That thing wasn't my story. People love it. But nobody listening to this podcast I thought it was alright. I wanted to hear more of this. They didn't use that one time. They didn't use it one fucking time.

They used it once. They did it in one scene. It's very quiet. Whenever we test Blu-ray players or televisions on Attack of the Show, our gadget producer loves to show the scene where Optimus Prime is down the freeway with one of the Constructicons,

and all the girls just left the room. There they go. I left the room, too. I mean, I was no fan of Transformers before I saw it. I didn't grow up on the cartoon. I didn't know anything about it, so that probably didn't help. But seeing the trailer for this new one starts off with that Bumblebee guy playing.

Somebody says something, and then he plays the Pointer Sisters. I'm so excited. I just can't help it. Let's do it. It's insanely queer. It's the queerest movie that's going to make $300 million. Megan Fox straddling the motorcycle. Yeah, well, have you seen the topless photos of her on the internet?

Where? Of Megan Fox? Yeah. Are they good? Is her boob job nice? I heard it's bad. She's got toe thumbs. She's got toe thumbs.

I know that's fixating on the wrong part. Don't get me wrong. But it looks like a big toe sewed onto her hand, and it's a bit of a turn-off. I don't have a foot fetish. It's just wrapped around. You're like, oh, would you hide the toe thumb for this part? Can you just tuck it under?

Just do this. Do salatongs. Do western grip, because I can't see it if it's away from me. Is that a real thing? It is now. It's like a Texas yearbook. I learned all of my sexual stuff from Kevin. He likes to tell me all the terms. There's a good one in In the hangover

Or not the hangover Whenever I see two or three movies Over a couple days I was watching Sex Drive And a girl goes do you want a rolling brown out And the guy's like yeah And then she turns around and starts to shit on his face And then he starts screaming

No brown no brown it's pretty funny it's that guy Clark Clark Michael Clark Duncan no Michael Clark Doug it would never yell no brown out he can handle anything he can handle he can handle said and his buddy. Have you ever done a rolling brownout? Have you ever personally done a rolling brownout? No, I'd never heard of it before. I saw the movie and I didn't subscribe. The ratio of sex terms of people that have actually done them or accomplished them legally

or when someone's conscious are really, like, the ratio's really low. I don't think anybody's done half the things. Someone needs to be passed out before you can really do great disgusting sexual maneuver. Chris, rolling brownie? No, but I've done a Martian tan. What's that? That's when someone has a baby on your face. Uh, oh, uh, oh, uh!

What? Why is it called a Martian tan? I don't know. Do they make that noise while they're burping on your face? Yeah, that's part of it. Uh, oh, uh, oh, uh! Yeah, you gotta... Uh, oh, uh, oh, uh! Wow, it's a boy! Yep, yep. I'm trying to think of a better name for it than what he called it. I can't think of a good one, though.

Special delivery? I don't know. It needs to sound more lascivious than that. But we've talked so much about nothing that time is running out on us already. How long is this show? It's a 45-minute podcast. The last episode I fucked up and went for an hour

because I didn't time it right. Did you get in trouble? No. I have seen two really good movies, but they weren't movies that I saw in the theaters. They were just movies that I saw at the end of the year. Please, recommend them. Let's be of some value. One is called Time Crimes, which is a Spanish time travel movie.

Boo! Why? Spanish...time travel...movie. I'm cool with movie. I was gonna say I didn't like any of that, but I'm cool with movie. I'm not cool with Spanish or time travel. Alright, Mr. Xenophobe. Seriously, have you ever met a Mexican with a time travel machine? I said Spanish.

Spanish, as in from Spain. I meant a Spanish-Mexican. Okay, if that doesn't wet your movie-watching appetite, then I saw a Swedish vampire movie called Let the Right One In which is fucking phenomenal oh my gosh

I watched it last night and I fell asleep what? I did I really did are you doing subtitles? that's fine no no

because I was like you know what I want to hear it because I'm artsy like that I really want to know no you're lazy so good I put on subtitles

because you can do it I'm not lazy I was like I'm going to sleep oh yeah yeah don't ever nothing should don't ever watch anything dumb.

I fell asleep. But it was great. Yeah, really great. No, but that is my... I agree with that. Like, I can't watch... I can't be on a couch watching a movie with subtitles

and not have to make a few stabs at it before I get through the whole thing. It's true. Makes me sleepy. Reading makes me sleepy. I'm sure the 50 hits of marijuana have nothing to do with that either. This movie's making me tired.

I smoke sativa. It's a very up high. I don't smoke either. I could go to sleep on a dime. Up in 3D? Anybody? Up in 3D? I've not seen that yet.

Wait, wait, wait. Up in regularD? Anybody? Up in 3D? I've not seen it. Wait, wait, wait. Up in regular? Whatever. For those of you who saw it and you're all adults, who cried during Up? I'll raise my hand. I haven't seen it yet, but somebody tweeted today that the first seven minutes is the most depressing movie they've ever seen. It really is.

And then they try to remind you it's a kids' film with a very well-paced scene right after that. But the crying plus 3D goggles is like abstinence plus 12. It was literally filling up the 3D goggles with tears. That can mask your tears. Is it like they're reaching

out of the screen into your heart? The 3D, really not that great on it, though. Not that great. 3D is never that great. 3D, they always pick like four different things for the 3D. It that great on it though 3D is never that great 3D, they always pick like four different things It always disappoints me I've never been 100% satisfied Coraline was great Coraline did it?

It had depth but there was not much Why can't we get like Captain EO 3D Oh, Captain EO I can't believe you brought that up. We don't have time to talk about it, but I'm in Captain EO. Are you engineer number three?

No, I'm one of the dancers. I'm not kidding you. I am not kidding you. Tell me you remember some of the dance. I can't have time to get to any of the games if I talk about it. It would be perfect for the audio podcast if you pop one of those moves right now. Well, there were no moves, because Francis Ford Coppola went crazy over budget on this shitty 10-minute film.

Please note, this podcast was recorded on June 16, 2009. It's an experience, not a film, first of all. Where Michael Jackson has that great line where they crash, and he goes, the honing beacon, we ran right into it. You ran right into it. You didn't run right into it. Can I just tell you the most bummer story about Captain EO? Because Mike Furman had a friend who worked on Captain EO. Mike Furman, half of Hard and Fur, who created the theme song for this show

that a lot of people love and so on. Oh, they do? That's nice. But not the last part. Thanks for this show that a lot of people love. Oh, they do? That's nice. But not the last part. Thanks for not keeping that in. It's just the only one guy. So someone from the crew went up to Michael Jackson on Cat the Neo and they were like, oh, Michael.

He was just kind of standing alone. He was like, oh, Michael, do you mind if I get a picture? And he was like, okay. And so he and a bunch of people crowd around Michael and they're like, oh, Michael, do you mind if I get a picture? And he's like, okay. And so he and a bunch of people crowd around Michael, and they're like, okay, everybody smile. And Michael Jackson makes a smiley face and goes, I hate smiling.

What a fucking bummer story. That's a real story that Mike Furman tells. Oh, my gosh. I can do maybe one better. Oh, please, please. Where did Mike get that from? Is this Captain Eel or Michael Jackson? He had a friend who worked on the crew or something.

I don't really have a specific story about Michael other than when all the child molester thing went down, I was like, no kidding. Of course he did that. Because at that time, he was between Bubbles and macaulay or whoever was next so the kid was the kid was an unknown trying to make it in the business and i think his name was jonathan and during the make the every the whole day i was there shooting captain neo every

time they'd say cut michael jackson would go to a corner have an eight-year-old sit on his lap and they would whisper in each other's ear and giggle. And then Francis Ford Coppola would say, all right, we're ready again, and then Michael Jackson would come back. But the whole time, he had a fucking eight-year-old date with him. And the whole industry and the world is like,

what? He did what? He's a fucking child molester. I'm saying it right now on a podcast listened to by dozens. I am still trying to figure out if you're kidding

about the fact that you were a dancer in Camp Diaz. I was in it! Then I kid about that and then go on to slander Michael Jackson

with on-the-scene evidence that I'm making up. Did you go to the court? Did I what? Did you put yourself up for like as a witness? As a character witness? No, I should have.

You should have. You just found yourself that one day you'd be so famous that you could request an eight-year-old on the corner. I meant to say talk to me instead of Jay Leno

and somehow the signals got crossed. My publicist fucked up. But yeah, they put Jay Leno on the stand. He's like, I don't know. He seems like a nice guy.

Jay, are you having a stroke? Yeah, right? I'm just, you know how I am. I'm just not a little bit of a... No, seriously, I don't know. He seems like a nice guy. Jay, are you having a stroke? Yeah, right? You don't know how I am. Seriously, I can't stop. Does anybody else smell toast? Long story short, Francis Ford Coppola went way over budget and they couldn't afford union dancers

anymore. They hired comedians. Not comedians, but I got hired because I was a friend of the guy who played the one-legged robot. Oh, okay. Who was actually a one-legged dude. That's how he got that job. Wow, naturally.

And the little dinosaur thing that walks around farting all the time, that guy is, that was the black guy that's in Bad Santa. Michael Clark Duncan. That's not his name. That's not his name. It's Tony something. Tony Michael Clark Duncan.

That would be the greatest name for a midget wrestler. Tony Michael Clark Duncan. So, so anyway, the dancers were let go. The last sequence of the movie, Angelica Houston, spoiler dancers were let go. The last sequence of the movie, Angelica Houston, spoiler alert, turns beautiful.

Turns into a beautiful princess, or as beautiful as Angelica Houston can be. I'm not judging. And I'm not expressing an opinion. But anyway, she turns into a beautiful princess, and then everybody breaks into a celebratory dance that's totally freestyle. No choreography. They tried to teach us choreography.

They hired a bunch of fucking mocs who don't know shit about choreography. Even the girls didn't really have great dance moves, and we just couldn't get it. For your audition, did you have to dance? No, there was no audition. There was like... And Robot gave him the part.

There was like... Major Domo gave him the part. There was like, Major Domo gave me the part. He's like, dude, they need dancers tomorrow. I'm like, I'm not a dancer. Come in and you'll pay. I got paid 50 bucks and I was there for 16 hours.

Oh my God. So maybe I got paid $57 and the OT really added up. And I just like, when they said, go dance in jubilation I just danced as horribly as I could so that I would stand out because I knew it was going to be a Disneyland

I knew it was going to be part of a Disneyland attraction and for years after that every time I went with a friend to Disneyland I'd be like, I'm in this and they'd be like, what? and then I would point myself out and I was dancing like such a retard they'd be like, what? Yeah, I'm in this. And then I would point myself out, and I was dancing like such a retard that it was like, that is you! Do you realize

that you had the perfect opportunity to make people think it was really 3D and just reach, like, right into the screen and touch people? No, I didn't, because I wasn't wearing the most horrifying, like, this kind of, like, I had, I was the orange one. There was orange ones, yellow ones, and red ones. I think I was an orange one with this horrible orange outfit that, like, I was the orange one. There was orange ones, yellow ones, and red ones. I think I was an orange one.

With this horrible orange outfit that reveals half of my gut and the legs are missing, you know what I mean? Did anyone have legs on this shoot? No, I mean your legs aren't covered. It was an extremely sexy outfit on a very

unsexy young man. And I'll just show you in case you ever see Captain EO again. What's the song? What's the song? Which you're not. It's like, do you remember? No, no, no.

It's, um. Do you remember? That's not it. That's not it. It's, uh, I forget. Oh, uh, something about the greatest part of me or something like. You're just another part of me. That's it.

That's it. Yeah. And Michael's,ael's doing his shit in the middle but i'm off to the side just going just acting like a complete retard and like but now you can't see it anywhere like it's somebody sent me a still that i'm in when Michael Jackson was dubbing the prince, you know, when he was like, whatever he did to her.

That's a sex term. Dubbing the prince. He touched her with his dick, winced, and then she turned into a beautiful princess. She turned into an eight-year-old boy. I can't believe I have to do this. My child is in the corner. And, um... So...

Alright, we don't have enough time to play the games. Let's talk about something else. Normally, you guys, Chris has been on the show before, but I have a couple of movie-themed games that I play that the listeners really enjoy. And we've run out of time for them. Can I shout out one film real quick that I love? Oh yeah, yeah, I'd be happy to. And then let's see what the video likes.

Are you guys familiar with the Winnebago Man? Do you remember those clips of that guy? Oh my god, I saw that at, what do you call it, South by Southwest. Yeah, Jack Rebney. It's an amazing movie. Amazing documentary. If you're into it, it's funny. It's so good. Winnebago Man, but when's it going to come out? A bit torrent?

Oh, you could already get it that way? Yeah, I think you can. I think you can. Oh, but it's so much fun to watch at the theater, because that guy is hilarious. You need to watch it with a crew. Have you seen the viral video of the guy trying to explain Winnebago, and he just keeps swearing at the crew? He keeps getting mad? Like, some documentary filmmaker tracked that guy down, and you meet him and learn all about

him, and it... He's a mountain hermit. Yeah, he finds him in the middle of the jungle, or I mean in the middle of the forest. Jungle's better. Two cans flying around everywhere. He's swinging from a vine. He tries to scare the audio guy.

A little bit to the sky. A little bit to the sky. But yeah, so he lives out in the middle of nowhere. You don't think serial? They find him, but then there's twists beyond that. It's hilarious, but also there's times where you feel like crying a little bit. It's really well done. Are you crying now?

A little bit. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it. But it's called Winnebago Man. And I recommend trying to hold out to see it in a theater, both for the profit potential and for the fun of seeing it with an audience. Support the movie any way you can, absolutely, but see it, most importantly. There was another good one I saw. That was the best movie I saw at Southwest.

The other one that I really liked was the one about the sweethearts of the prison rodeo, about women in prison who it was the first time they got to compete with the male prison on like on the other side of town, in rodeo. And these women are fucking amazing. And they go through all this horrible, like getting thrown off of bulls shit just to get out of jail for a few hours. Like it's this exciting, like they got to go train, so they get to leave.

Do they win? They get to leave every day. Do they win? One of the girls does very well, like beats dudes. She beats the guys? Beats dudes, yeah. Wow. So, spoiler alert again. But that's called Sweethearts of the girls does very well like beats dudes beats dudes yeah so spoiler alert again but that's called

Sweethearts of the Prison Rodeo and what have you seen lately Olivia Munn that you like Paul Blart Monk Hop now do you

no fan of that movie do you really like Paul Blart Monk Hop when I went to see it my expectations were so low it was unbelievable I was like

this is the best movie ever because I went I know you can the best movie ever! Because I went I know, you can judge me if you want. No, I'm not judging you. I did not see the movie, but my friend Jonah Ray told me that on the DVD edition it said, now with 15% more fart jokes.

And that totally made me respect it. I'm like, I want to see it now! That's really funny! See, that's why when I went... Oh, that's not a joke, Jonah, it was me! No! Oh, it's Oh, it's a sticker on the DVD. It says 15% more fart jokes. The thing is, they totally don't take themselves seriously during it. You're just watching them

and they know that it's a stupid movie. And so you're watching people like, this is really stupid. And this big fat guy flipping around. Like, how do you not love that? Big fat guy in a mall. He's a cop. He's a genius.

He does like when he squirms around on the floor and makes squeaking noises like his stomach is a shoe Yeah That's a good story I want to be the Cinnabon girl In the sequel Oh

They're making a sequel They're doing a sequel right Yeah I'm pushing for it Did you see Observe and Report Uh uh Cause it was like It was like essentially The same movie

And the same character But so like How it would really be Like super I heard it was dark yeah it's crazy dark so check that out if you get a chance also uh we live in public i'm on the documentary kick right now this one uh andy timmer who did dig uh dig fans no no not the website the uh the documentary yeah it's a great document yeah well she did one called we live in public about this guy uh

josh harris who made pretty much, this was early, or mid-90s. And that woman was a bitch, by the way. Let me tell you, she was on our show and she's a bitch.

You did drop three F-bombs right in front of her. You don't bring your child to our show, you fucking cunts. She was a guest on our show. It's not like she showed up to just check out a tape.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She was a guest on our show. No, no, no. Hold on, Kevin. Even you thought she was a cunt. I'm putting that out there. You did. And if she's listening.

That's definitely the first time on my podcast that someone has said cunt twice. Really? Listen, maybe once. Maybe once. To be fair, Blaine Kapach has said today, maybe it's a contraction for cunt not. So maybe that's what that is. C-U- an apostrophe T Chris Hardwick came prepared with things other comics said which I always appreciate I did not

I don't I didn't have any cunt jokes up the sleeve I just heard that Olivia Munn she just got the twice so how old is this kid you swore in front of? I don't, who cares? She was on my show where we are saying shit all the time, and it was during commercial break, and that's the energy. And she comes on, and she's just like, I'm like, what the fuck or something? And we're just, you know, he's going to learn one day. And then she's like, we have a child in here. Can you watch your mouth? And I'm like, who the fuck are you?

Like, shut the fuck up, you stupid cunt, is what I want to say. And by the way, by the way, it wasn't me just thinking that she was a bitch. She was a bitch. Everybody there thought it. All the producers thought she was a bitch. That's a fact. My friend Nikki Glaser has a bit about being at like the supermarket and swearing on the cell

phone and some lady goes, hey, my baby's here. And she's like, yeah, well, your baby doesn't know that I just told my friend you have the ugliest fucking baby i've ever seen as long as we're quoting other comedians anyways um we live in public uh it's great the bitch makes a great documentary i gotta give her that who brings their kid to a shoot what is this captain eo or something come on whisper i wrote. I wrote that one. I'm bringing that child to sit on my lap,

says Kevin. No, he can sit right here for the whole interview. It's fine. It's all good. And you'll just whisper. Tell your mommy I said this. So I should mention before we go that I do a thing where I have games on Twitter that at the end of every show,

Chris knows this this but the other Olivia and Kevin probably aren't familiar with this. Kevin Pereira. You don't listen to the podcast but for some reason it's hard to explain. I started saying Willem Dafoe is a shithead as my outro as the outline because

he doesn't seem like a shithead. No, he seems fine. He's a good actor. You can't believe he's a shithead. He was pretty mean in Spider-Man. What if I didn't get it? He's a meanie. I saw him at Lisa Klein buying a lot of clothes for his daughter. He seems like a very nice guy.

So that was the joke. He's not a shithead, but I say Willem Dafoe's a shithead. That's a funny joke. No, it's really, yeah. So that's why I've moved on and I let someone who wins a game on Twitter that I play I let them decide who I'm going to say is a shithead

it's a really fun game by the way I get unfollowed by all of my friends the instructions are longer than the actual game it's very complicated but I appreciate that you hung in there through it all even though you probably ignore it. And so

there will be a new ending line thanks to Aaron Wardy, or Ward, Aaron E-R-I-N W-A-R-D-E That's fine. W-A-R-D-E, Aaron Ward E.

You should do read-throughs before your podcast. But anyway, follow her, because she helped us to come up with, we do this thing called Build a Title Tuesday, and she helped create the title. I saw this. Father's Day After Tomorrow Never Dies Wide Shut Terminator 2 Judgment Day of the Dead Man Walking. That's called Build a Title,

and normally I would have played that with you guys, but we ran out of time. That's too bad a Title and normally I would have played that with you guys but we ran out of time. That's too bad. Yeah, I really didn't. You would have been so great at that. Next time.

So anyway, she won the right to say who I'm going to say at the end of the show. Does anybody have any plugs they want to get in before we go?

I'm going to be at the Improv in Louisville, Kentucky June 25th through the 28th. Are you going to be in town? That's where you're from. I'm actually performing in Louisville. Oh, no, no. I'm performing in Louisville, Kentucky. June 25th through the 28th. Are you going to be in town? That's where you're from.

I'm actually performing in Louisville. Oh, no, no. I'm performing in Louisville Friday night. Oh, shit. That's your one plug. You can't say anything more. God damn it.

That'll be too late. And it's Joel McHale's show, too. So it's like, if you're going to be going to come to see me, they're going to see me. You're opening for that cunt? Wow.

Wow. No, he's a super nice guy. I would come to see you, Chris Hardwick. You're a very funny guy. If you haven't seen his stuff, he sings and plays the guitar and comes into the audience and mingles. I do.

But when I'm alone, I just tell jokes like a schmo. But you're really funny. I guess for this audience, it's more like Chris should be describing what you guys do. Like they all know that he does that stuff. They might not. It's super nice of her to say, though. It is. She's a sweetheart.

She is not the C word. No, no, no. These two are so fucking cool to work with. Oh, my God. I have to talk about my eyes. Every time I go around there, they're fantastic. Super fun. And they agreed to come do this, which I appreciate very much.

Yeah, we're very busy. We're sitting right here. Very busy. I'm very busy. I should leave now. Can I go home now? What do you want to plug? Attack of the Show, weeknights at? No. Seven. The Benson interruption. Can I go home now? And what do you want to plug? Attack of the Show,

weeknights at? Seven. What time? Seven? We're live at four. Seven Eastern. We're live here at four. Live here at four.

In my blog, oliviamund.com. Oh yeah, go to oliviamund.com. I didn't even plug Web Soup, which is a show people can actually see. Stop doing, you had your one plus.

We talked about it already. Web Soup is actually a really fun show. I'll plug Web Soup. You don't have to plug it. You guys should watch Chris Hardwick's web soup Sundays at... When is it? Let's say nine. Sundays at nine.

And congratulations, listeners, who think this show was too short, because you got four extra minutes for this one. It's all plugs and pedophilia. Let's hear it for Kevin Brer, Olivia Munn, Chris Hardwick. It was my first theme show. I think it went well. You did good. You talked about music.

And here we go. Thanks to Aaron, I have to say, Stephen Baldwin is a shithead. Oh. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.