Doug Loves Movies - Chris Hardwick, Kumail Nanjiani, and Gillian Jacobs Guest

Episode Date: February 20, 2013

Doug welcomes Chris Hardwick, Kumail Nanjiani, and returning Leonard Maltin Game winner Gillian Jacobs to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. They're still not warm that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. My name is Doug Benson, and I pledge eternal allegiance to motion pictures. pledge eternal allegiance to motion pictures. This is Douglas Movies coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday, February 19th

to Ocean's 13. Since last I spoke and you listened, I taped a Benson interruption at Meltdown Comics here in Los Angeles with guests Zach Galifianakis, Neil Brennan, Jonah Ray, and more. We'll be available for $1.99.

$1.99, are you out of your mind? On or around Monday, February 25th, mark your calendars. Yes, mark multiple calendars with that date when it might come out. Today, I was a guest on a very special Oscar edition of Comedy Film Nerds, which is available now on iTunes.

And I'm looking forward to my TV interruption slash potluck this Thursday, Thursday? Sunday. This Sunday in Los Angeles. You know, there's a TV show on on Sunday that we're going to all watch together. And I'll have some special guests who interrupt it with me.

If you're a CineFamily member, you can come and bring a guest or if you know somebody that's a CineFamily member, you could be their guest and bring some food and be on Dining with Doug and Karen. We're going to tape an episode of that from the potluck.

And the next movie interruption at CineFamily is Skyfall. Skyfall! On Wednesday, February 27th, CineFamily.org. Douglas Movies is coming back to New York City on April 2nd. Gramercy Theater. Gramercy, you there, New York. DouglasMovies.com.

Now it's time for Tweet Relief Tweets About Movies. At Greg Bernhard tweeted, In the Devil Wears Prada when Anne Hathaway is in Paris, she's lucky nobody cut off her hair or removed her teeth. This has been Tweet Relief Tweets

About Movies. I like that one. You guys were slow to laugh on it. We're mostly reacting to my face. What an amazing prize bag we've got tonight, you guys. We've got some sort of gold bag that has a mug in it that says something, that gives it away, who's coming out here. We've got a, from Sean Sacame, Snap

the Jab, he's been on the show. He brought a box of macadamia nuts and threw them into the bag and of course I don't encourage that people bring things for me to throw into the bag because there's always so many good things anyway. Like a copy of one of my,

I forget which one it was, second or third records, Hypocritical Oath. And also VHS. VHS copy of Super Jaime. And from the Traverse City, where I just was at the comedy festival there, the Winter Comedy Fest, some Cherry Republic cherry coins,

which I don't think have any actual cherry in them, but they're still proud of their cherries up there in Traversity. Also, Doug Loves Movies t-shirt is in the bag, and another t-shirt, and

a Watchmen director's cut Blu-ray. That's pretty sweet. But no one involved in Watchmen is here. So settle down. This is pretty awesome. A Reese's peanut butter egg.

Just in time for Easter. It's fucking huge. Even on the drawing, the depiction on the side, they've got it cut into slices. Like it's a cake. But it's an egg. Speaking of cakes, I think I see a cake in the front row.

That's exciting. And a wiffle ball ball and a wiffle ball bat are in the bag. So that's quite an exciting array of items. And please help me in welcoming Chris Hardwick, Kumail Nanjiani, and Gillian Jacobs!

We brought our bags. There was a strange woman wandering around backstage, guys, who wouldn't speak to us and didn't belong there, so that's why we brought our personal possessions out with us. Oh, that's a good idea. Hang on to your shit. But I was telling the audience, I had her clean thrown out. Oh, good. She's out the door.

But the way she got in, she could just do that again. Yeah. Because she came in through the back door of one of our neighboring establishments. But she also looked like,

she was like a 6'2". She looked like a model. Yeah. I think those people can walk in wherever they want. Sure. She's not going to steal anything. She's never been

thrown out in her life. Now she's going to fall in love with Doug because he's a challenge. No one has ever thrown me out of an establishment before. She seems effed up enough. I don't know why I gave that.

That was her voice. Is she a Muppet? She's Marvin Martian. The Illudian P-36 explosive space modulator. But from France Gillian Jacobs is back you guys because

she won last week in a real nail biter of a Leonard Maltin game and I decided to institute a new policy which is that the winner each week has the option to come back the next week if they want to. And she said yes.

And I hope she wins again tonight. Oh, wow. Is that just a picture or is it a vine? What's going on? It's a little selfie for Instagram. Oh, a selfie. I like a selfie. When people come up to me now,

I'm going, just long arm it. Like, people should just take their own camera phone and just take the picture. Oh, instead of getting a third party. It's like they hand it to a person who's never seen a phone. Or a camera. Find a grandma to take this picture.

Chris Hardwick is here and he brought... Thank you, 65% of you. The Watchmen. One guy's straight texting instead of applauding. I thought he was sleeping. I'm glad he was texting

because I'm sure it's about how much he loves the show. He's still doing it. Great front row move, bro. Wait, are you Googling her to see what she's in? That was your defense? To you that was better than texting?

Who the fuck are these people I'm supposed to be excited about? Gotta Google the panel, bro. It was a picture of you. Cool. The weirdest dude in America. He still doesn't know who I am. It's okay. Gillian Jacobs, hard G, soft J.

I will say... Mixed vegetables should take him under his wing and teach him, like, what you do is you take pictures and stuff, but then you send them all after the show is over. He wasn't taking a picture. No, he was... He showed something like he took a picture. No, that was my Wikipedia page or something.

It was on Wikipedia. Because his was, I know who that guy is. Wait, you were looking up who the guests are? Where have you been, Doug? We literally were talking about this. He needed some context.

I think what happened was... Sometimes I get in, just wait for Kumail to stop talking and then proceed. Hey, I'm not Pete Holmes. Ha!

I can't wait for him to stop talking. That would not happen. I think what happened was he knew who Chris Hardwick was and he didn't know who both of us were and he was like, I'm not going to know how to spell that fucker's name. Gillian Jacobs I have a shot

at. Solve the mystery. What were you looking up? Her Wikipedia to find out what she is. Have you figured it out yet? She's on Community. Oh yeah, we're such assholes. He's never heard of Community.

It's okay. Have you ever heard of Community? This guy definitely hasn't heard of Community. He seems like a loner. Very isolated. Oh, you're going to say that's most of the fans of Community? Yeah. They're literally looking for Community.

I know. Together, alone on the internet. Community. Community is on television. You can watch it on Hulu. Yeah, you can. Three seasons exclusively online at Hulu.com. What's that web address again?

Hulu.com. And if you're in Canada, Netflix Canada. Did somebody tell you you should have said that last week so that's why you're so determined to say it this time? No, but I did do a trip to Canada

to promote Community on Netflix Canada. And after you say it about a thousand times, it just, you know, it becomes part of you. It's natural. To be fair, normally she has, like normally people are used to

saying you have blonde hair. Yeah, I do normally have blonde hair. So your hair's darker now and so maybe that's why. But her face is the same. That sounded mean. He wouldn't have recognized me blonde. No, no, no. Her face is the same. He doesn't know community.

Her face doesn't change. We don't want it to change. Live with it. It's a wonderful, beautiful face. Thank you, Kamau. it. It's a wonderful, beautiful face. Thank you, command. Yeah. It's all good. Yo. But Joe over here.

Joe? Get back to what I was trying to say. Yes. Takes pictures during the show. I never see him take a picture. And I never see him send the pictures. But there's... Oh, hey, Joe. Hi, Joe. Then the next day,

Mixed Vegetables on Twitter has a bunch of... I see a bunch of photos, you know, with Doug Benson in there. Is he Mixed Vegetables? Yeah. You're the Mixed Vegetables? So, Chris, have I said Chris Hardwick is here

have I said that part he brought I did he brought a rebel rebel the forces strong oh yeah yeah this is a this is junk

this is a company called junk food that makes really awesome shirts and so this is this is a Star Wars junk food t-shirt and then also

a Watchmen blu-ray director's cut and then an Angry Birdsmen Blu-ray director's cut and then an Angry Birds keychain. Oh, Angry Birds keychain because you're doing something with Angry Birds.

Yeah, we are. The Nerdist Empire is just, it's going to take over everything. I don't know. No. Stop it.

Please. Two seconds more. All right. Yeah, they listened to Stop it very quickly They weren't really That committed They're like

It feels like We're supposed to clap here But I'm not I don't think we should We're gonna do it He's Wikipedia nerdist Right now How old are you?

How old are you? 31 You're 31? Do you own a television? I mean I don't mean this In an obnoxious way A lot of people Don't watch television

Like some people Don't even have Televisions anymore I have Netflix You have Netflix You're right Yeah I don't mean this in an obnoxious way. A lot of people don't watch television. Like, some people don't even have televisions anymore. I have Netflix. You have Netflix. Oh, fuck. That's it. So it was not a ridiculous question.

You don't actually watch television. Chris, did you think I asked you to be on Doug Loves Crowd Work? Because Doug hates crowd work. Doug always loves crowd work. Doug hates talking to audiences, looking at them in their seats with... There's still not one that he won't interact with. Nah, it just doesn't have the same flow. Kumail Nanjiani is here.

Whee! I haven't said that yet, right? Yeah. And he brought an indoor kids mug yeah yeah so that's that's the perfect thing

to drink out hot liquids out of while you're playing a video game yeah yeah it's a podcast it's on a website

called nerdist.com yeah well yeah yeah it's awesome listen to it it is good

and your wife is fucking hilarious by the way oh thank you. Emily Gordon is an amazingly hilarious person that's on the podcast with us. All right, I'll have her on the show. And Gillian brought a wiffle bat

and a wiffle ball. Correct. And the Reese's egg. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. She did it like this.

She did it like that. She did it with this She did it like that She did it with a wiffle ball bat Okay Kumail I'm going to ask you one more time To keep control of Chris Chris please Alright I think he'll be good now Well done So you just had a wiffle ball bat laying around?

I did. I had a wiffle ball and bat in my apartment, and then I was at CVS, and I thought, like I told you backstage, that the best principle behind gift-giving is give something you would want yourself, and so I saw a Reese's peanut butter egg, and I've always

I think it would be really fun to throw the egg up into the air and try to hit it with the bat. Okay. But it's not just an egg, Doug. It's like a loaf. It's a chocolate peanut butter loaf. It's big and I just want to knock it into the crowd

really hard. Do you have your baseball, Jordan? If you had your baseball, I? If you had your baseball, I'd have you throw that up here. I'd hit it right back in your face. Line drive, Jordan. That's what you get. I sure love being on

Doug Loves Crowd Work. Ooh, Chris loves comebacks. My girlfriend had never had a Cadbury cream egg and she was like, they look so awesome. I'm like, you know, you might think that until the first bite. And I told her andbury cream egg and she was like, they look so awesome. I'm like, you know, you might think that

until the first bite. And I told her and she took one bite and was like, oh, it's just a liquid sugar. But Reese's peanut butter won't disappoint, guys. Oh, it looks, it's so good. You're gonna be so excited when you win. Do you think the winner would mind if it had a bite out of it?

Not if it were her. No, he'd mind. He doesn't know who I am. Right. Well, look at her Wikipedia and then you Not if it were her. He'd mind. He doesn't know who I am. Right. Well, look at her Wikipedia and then you can sell it on eBay. But also, if she takes a bite out of it,

then you'll have her dental records for after whatever horrible thing it is you're planning on doing. I don't approve. Serial killer pro tip. Killian.

Killian. What was it like working with TJ Miller and seeking a friend for the end of the world? It was delightful. Okay, now the real answer. Yeah.

Exhausting. I love TJ. We played two waiters totally high in ecstasy at this restaurant and the world is about to end. We know an asteroid

is going to hit the world and so people are reacting different ways. This restaurant, which is sort of like a TGI Fridays, we decided to get really high and have a good time.

So it was really fun, me and TJ. How do you know if TJ's taking ecstasy or not? That's why he was perfect for the bar. Into the world, yeah! Aren't you about to work with TJ?

Aren't you doing a pilot with TJ? Oh, you guys are both in that thing? That's cool. TJ's just always like, yeah, I gotta do a pilot. He doesn't say that much more about it. Oh, I'll tell you what. Is it a cop buddy thing? The two of you? I wish.

Yeah, I'm like the crazy party guy and he's the straight laced. Buy the book. And I'm like, what book? And then I do ecstasy and live his real life. It's a HBO pilot that Mike Judge is doing that I'm very, very excited about. Awesome. That's cool.

And you're, of course... DJ's on it. Zach Woods from The Office is on it. So, so funny. Yeah, there's many people on it. He's the dead guy

in that Starburst commercial. You're boring me to death and I'm already dead, that guy. Oh, I don't know. I haven't... Could you Google it for me, please?

The guy from The Office, right, Zach Woods? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's him. That's him, trust me. Okay. I, yeah, yeah. That's him. That's him. Trust me. Okay. I don't have proof.

It's called Silicon Valley. I figured it out. Oh, Silicon Valley. Yeah, so look for it. So that's why TJ's growing really weird hair all over? No, I think

that's just his life. He says it's for a part when he grows his hair weird? Actually, yeah. I guess they did want him to have a ponytail for it. Are you saying the guy who dressed like a ranger to go to the Yogi Bear audition and then walked around with a bodyguard for a year might have made a weird... What?

No, he still has a bodyguard. He still does? I haven't seen him lately. Yeah, I haven't seen his bodyguard. What are you talking about? He has a bodyguard? This guy walks around him and you're like, who is that? He's like, it's my bodyguard.

Really? He just had his sister? This guy walks around him and you're like, who is that? He's like, it's my bodyguard. Really? He just had his sister with him when we were shooting. No, is his sister his bodyguard? No, it's a dude. It's like a dude.

it's like a dude. He's like 6'6". He's like a bodyguard guy and I think he got him ironically and now he just has him sincerely. They developed a bond. I think it's very part time though because I just spent a few days

with TJ and I didn't the guy wasn't anywhere to be seen he had a party at his house which is this high rise and you go up

and literally like 12 people were invited to this party and the bodyguard was at the door like looking at the names like alright you're not on the list

hold on he would go in ask TJ I'm sorry you're not welcome and they would have on. He would go in, ask TJ. I'm like, okay, I'm sorry. You're not welcome. And they would have to go down the elevator to some other party where there wasn't an ironic, sincere bodyguard. Have you been to the movies lately, Kumail?

I have, yeah, I've been to the movies. What'd you see? Did you see A Good Day to Die Hard yet? No, it looks so bad, Day to Die Hard yet? No It looks so Bad Day to Die Hard Good review But isn't the title amazing? It's like they just go Anything that

Just a sentence With Die Hard in it Yeah And we're good to go I want to see A prequel With him graduating From high school

Called Die Hardly Wait That's funny You should say that Because I came up With a few I came up with Curl Up and Die Hard. Twelve-sided Die Hard.

Oh, shit. And yeah, there's like, people are trying to play Dungeons and Dragons and then there's a terrorist. But my favorite is, are you working Die Hard or Die Hardly working? Well, I think Helen Mirren should take over the role and be Lady Diehard.

All right. Okay. I know, too soon. All right. Why would Helen Mirren be Lady Die? I just figured she would be the British female equivalent of Bruce Willis at this point. Oh.

Yeah. That baton was passed while they were filming Red. That's right. The Warren Ellis movie. Which is getting a sequel, right? Yeah, it is. Red 2? Red 2. Even Redder. I didn't love that movie. I thought it was alright.

Really? I liked it. Good Day to Die Hard? Or Red? Red. Good Day to Die Hard's terrible. No one it's not. Yeah. It's just him and his son is the other major character. And it's the two of them bickering while chasing and blowing up things. That's what the last one was because it was Justin Long, not his son. Justin Long was doing his Woody Allen thing or whatever. So there was some humor.

This is like, let So there was some humor. This is like, let's take out the humor. Let's have Bruce Willis mention that he's on vacation 17 times and that will suffice for the humor department. The awesome thing about the first movie is that he's not that kind of guy.

There's a scene in it where he's, in the first movie, he's like picking glass out of his feet and then in that fourth one, he's driving cars into helicopters. What's he been doing in between these movies? They always have to up the ante, though.

Even if you watch the Bourne movies, he goes from a regular badass to crazy superhero kind of shit. So I guess they just have to up the ante. But that reminds me, why didn't they call the most recent one Born Again? It seems so obvious. People would think it was a Christian movie. But there's a new Born Again.

Jason Bourne is looking for Christ and this time he's found him. So, oh, Gillian, what have you seen in the one week since we've chatted? I've watched bits of movies on cable, including bits of Die Hard 3, which I've never seen. You've never seen it? No. I only saw Die Hard last year at Christmastime.

It's great. Yeah, it was great. So I watched part of Die Hard 3. I watched part of My Cousin Vinny. And I watched part, oh God, what's the name of the movie with Charles Grodin and... Beethoven?

No. Beethoven Second? No. Seems like old times, Midnight Run? Midnight Run! I said it before he did. Doug wants credit. Midnight Run. Nope. Midnight Run! I said it before he did. Doug wants credit. Midnight Run! That was pretty good, though.

Have you seen anything good, Doug? Is there anything out in theaters that's good? No. There's nothing. There's a couple things I want to see. I want to see, before Sunday, I want to see Amour, because it's nominated for Best Foreign Film, and it sounds completely depressing, but also amazing.

Yeah. And I want to see No from Chile. That's nominated for Best Foreign Film, and it sounds completely depressing, but also amazing. Yeah. And I want to see No from Chile. That's nominated also, and it's supposed to be pretty good. But as far as anything that's actually out, I have not seen Warm Bodies. Woo! The director is here.

Is it? One person likes that. Is it good, or is it Zombie Twilight? Awesome. It is good. Okay. The guy that went woo, you said he's good?

We don't know anything else about this guy. What if he was also like, and my idol Hitler would have loved it. We don't know anything else about you. We're just sort of taking your opinion. Can you imagine Hitler watching Warm Bodies? I think we're all down. You'd just be blown away by the effects.

He's like,'re gonna come back I worked so hard The fact that there were zombies Yeah Zombies is really That's Hitler's nightmares Yeah Jewish zombies

Zombie Jews Somebody's gotta make That's a great Somebody's gotta make this How is that They made a Nazi zombie movie As soon as he started That'll be the reimagining

As soon as he starts Killing Jews They immediately start Coming back to life And all going after him That'd be the reimagining. As soon as he starts killing Jews, they immediately start coming back to life and all going after him. That'd be the greatest. Or it's like Fantasia. They just turn into two smaller Jews

and then two smaller Jews, and then they overtake him. There's a bunch of tiny Jews right there. Hitler's Apprentice? God, I'm not sure. I feel like all that was really offensive. I don't know. I think it was pro-people and life.

Yeah, but bro. Anti-Hitler and zombies. Yeah. Well, and Rob Zombie made the El Super Bisto movie. There were zombie Nazis in it that were carrying around the head of Hitler in a jar. Oh, that's awesome. So there were... I got to see that.

The Nazi imagery didn't really make me love Sucker Punch, though. It didn't really trick me into thinking it was worthwhile. Yeah. What else is... There's literally nothing else now. What are you looking forward to this summer? I try not to pay attention anymore. Because I find that trailers and

reading about movies just ruins them completely because there's no hope for any surprises. Doug loves movies. Doug hates trailers. I've heard that Safe Haven has a crazy twist. I know what it is. Don't tell it to us. Nobody gives a shit. No, they do. I can tell you what it is. It's still a spoiler.

You guys, it's so great. It's so crazy, I don't want to know. I would love to do it. So you're going to hate watching the movie. I'm going to see it two months from now when I interrupt it. It's in a family. All right. What I do know, Kumail, is that the internet does not enjoy spoilers, even if they never

had any intention of seeing the movie. I will tell you this. I know because I, on my podcast, talked about Twin Peaks, which is now 25 years old. People were like ah spoiler alert bro I'm like fuck you can I tell you that we got

I like the way you say Twin Peaks can I tell you I talked about Twin Peaks we got the same thing when someone talked about The Godfather

on ours that's the thing is that all that stuff is lifted because anybody can go back and you know check on watch anything.

I think a year or two. Like, a year or two. I agree, but people are crazy. I guess that's true. Did you see Life of Pi? Why mess with them? Life of Pi,

that's the only one I haven't seen of the big ones. I had not seen because I thought it would be boring and I was blown away by it. Really? It's just on a boat.

It's really captivating. But I just read it. You'd be surprised how well they, what a good job Ang Lee does of opening it up. That's one of the highest grossing films worldwide right now and Ang Lee was saying it's because an American audience, or like the American

media sort of baffled like, wow, really? One of the biggest, like as big as Dark Night around the world and they're saying, well, yeah, because it's a type of storytelling that's not American story. It's more international. It doesn't cling to language at all. You could sit there with, you don't even have to hear what they're saying

and you know what's going on. Right, you don't have to hear the tiger go, it's great, or whatever. I haven't seen the movie. I decided to not see it. But I'm guessing that's what happens. Well, that's the only thing they have on the boat is Frosted Flakes.

And that's how that whole thing started. It's kind of an origin story. I didn't see it. It's a joke in the title. Spoiler alert. That is pretty awesome. This better get in the quotes in the AV club. Life of

Pi is the origin story of Frosted Flakes. And Tony the Tiger. It's a beautiful movie all the way through and at the end the tiger just goes, it's great. And then you're like, oh fuck, this was a... That'd be amazing. Because he the end the tiger just goes it's great and then you're like oh fuck this was a that'd be amazing because he also teaches the tiger to talk

when they're on that boat together yep I didn't see it because I had all these people on Twitter that first week literally

I had 50 people being like should have been you in the lead bro I was like I'm not gonna see this that is so uncool and that's not a reason to not that's not a reason to not see it.

Of course, I didn't even get to audition for it, Doug. It is not a reason to not see it. I'm going to see it. I have a screener of it. Yeah, because you really shouldn't be up for any roles that are played by children. I don't know. He's pretty young, dude. He is.

children. I don't know. He's pretty young, dude. He is. I took a picture of my friend who's Indian, has a kid, and she's like one years old. Adorable little girl. So I took a picture with her. And people were like, are you recreating Looper?

Oh, what? What? What does that mean? It's like a baby version of me visiting the grown-up version of me. When you say people are like, more than one person made that reference. Multiple people made the looper reference on Twitter. That is crazy insane.

And it was a girl. That is unbelievable. Babies don't look boy or girl. And the weirdest part about it was it was a girl. She was wearing pink. And the weirdest part about it was it was a girl.

She was wearing pink. She could, you know, boys look probably cute when they're babies too. Yeah, she's a very cute baby. You were probably a cute baby. I was a fucking great baby, bro. I was really awesome. That is like, you hear that every night

in bars near a college. I was a great baby, bro. When they get drunk. Chris, did you chime in on recent movies? Doug, I haven't really seen much of anything. I've been touring a shit ton. You're so busy. It's been busy.

So I don't have, I have like an hour at night when I can do stuff. And you play video games. I've been playing, yeah. What have you been playing? Let's hear about that. I just finished the last, the most recent Skyrim

DLC. Oh, the... Dragonborn. Is it good? I haven't gotten to it yet. It's fucking great. There's a whole other realm called... There's a whole other island called Solstheim. I know about the realm, Chris. And there's Ashpon and all sorts of other... These books that sort of pull you in.

There's books? Those crazy books. I don't want to give too much of it away, but it's awesome. I know it's a little Lovecraft-y, right? A little bit, yes, yes, yes. And it's cool. So I just finished that. I'll tell you guys you should only speak in English

when you're out here and not in your nerd language. Video games, not a nerd. No, no, that wasn't that nerdy. That wasn't too bad. I thought the show was called Scrim. I mean, the video game. Scrim? I thought it was Scrim.

Scrim. There's no space. There's a Y. But it's not Skyrim. There's not Sky, Space, Rim. And there are billboards for it, right? Scrim is where you can play the tall man from Phantasm and then you get to go through the...

No one gets that joke. Negative people got that reference. Angus Scrim. Angus Scrim was the guy who played the tall man in Phantasm. No, I know. Well, thanks for your support. He's also in ACDC. He's not. That's a different Angus. Well, there's three Anguses in the world.

The two and a half men guy is an Angus. You're forgetting black Angus. Oh, shit. It's a four Angus world. We just live in it. Let the games begin. Just one game, actually.

Let's go ahead and see some name tags. And let's choose who you're going to play for. What is that shit? That's a pretty elaborate dessert item right there, Chris. If you just want to go grab it. Whoever gets to it first gets to have it. It's your birthday? Oh, my goodness.

There's some Milanos. I can't believe Kumail walked right past the Milanos. That's Alyssa's name tag. Did you make this? Chris is going to take a picture of it. So it'll last longer. Oh my god. That's amazing.

This is fucking awesome. A tiny miniature. It's a tiny Harry Potter cake. That's amazing. You made that. It says Leslie on it. Give credit where credit is due. What is the cake?

What's inside? Don't touch it. It's triple chocolate with buttercream. Oh, gross. And wishes. And it's cream. And it's a Gryff, gross. And wishes. Buttercream. And it's a Gryffindor. And a Harry Potter scarf.

It's Harry Potter's neck. If he had been doing a lot of tanning. This is where Voldemort, this is where he who must not be named hit the cake when its mother tried to protect it. Here's the Nimbus 3000. Well, that's amazing, Leslie. Good job.

Yay, on you. That is like... I think this cake should be salted into my belly. That had to be chosen. Does Chris get to keep it? It's her birthday cake, so you've got to give it back, so make sure you throw it at her.

And yeah, make sure you touch it a lot. Lick the scarf. Who are you playing for, Gillian? Well. Looks really elaborate. I just saw two business cards, which drew me in. And turns out he liked me in Choke. Ian.

Ian Manka. Who works at USC. So, hi. Thank you for enjoying me in Choke. All right. Ian, that's a new angle, just a business card with a compliment on it. I mean, it's not a cake.

And it's not a book. What do you have, Kumail? It's I am legend, but you replaced the word legend with the name Alex. And it says now a major motion picture starring Will Smith. I would love it if he had

fucking gone in and just changed the name to Alex also. But he has not done that. So I regret picking this guy. Change what name to Alex? Whatever the people's name is in this thing. Free name? I feel like everyone should be Alex.

There is no character named Legend. No. What? It's not about like Jason Legend? Uh-uh. No, it's just about a guy that's... My ex-girlfriend had a dog named Legend. Since he's alone, he's legendary. My ex-girlfriend had a dog named Legend. Since he's alone, he's legendary.

My ex-girlfriend had a Shih Tzu named Legend. She did. That's a sentence. I want people to understand the level of detail on this mini cake. Like, she made little spell books with fucking pages. Yeah. It's really good. Can I say something?

The spell book just says spell book on it which you don't see a book that just says learning on it. They're wizards! Shit's different! It should be potions or arithmancy or... What?

You haven't read Harry Potter? Now, if it were a really amazing cake you would open the book and there'd be moving images inside of, like, James Potter. Gillian, have you ever been the meat in a nerd sandwich? She's on Community. What do you think?

Community is the nerdiest show on television in a good way. Thank you. It really is. Thank you very much. Well, you get to go first, Gillian, because I said so. Thanks, Doug. And you're our returning champion.

Isn't that how it works on Jeopardy? Does the returning champion go first? Yes. Yes. Phrase the answer of the question, please. Yes. And then from there we'll go to Chris. Okay.

Damn it. I haven't done well in my last couple DLM outings. All right, we'll go to Camille. Well, that doesn't make a difference. Okay, we'll go to Chris. What? I haven't done well in my last couple DLM outings. Stealing it back.

All right, your first option, Gillian, for category is Bruno Mars, and that's movies where Bruce Willis is in space. Or celebrating a birthday today is Jeff Daniels, so the motion pictures of the great Jeff Daniels. Or at Tay Kay Schney,

T-A-Y-K-A-Y Schney, S-E-H-N-I-E. Good name, dude. Suggested, Who's Beating Gilbert Grape? And that's movies where Leonardo DiCaprio gets beaten up. Oh. So Jeff Daniels, Bruce Willis in Space,

or Leonardo DiCaprio gets beat up. I'll go for the Leonardo DiCaprio gets beat up. I'll go for the Leonardo DiCaprio gets beat up. Okay. The movie is from 1993. Oh, God. Leonard Maltin gives it three and a half stars. I think I agree with that. He calls the movie harrowing but utterly absorbing.

And he also says that it is set in the 50s. And he lists 12 names. Oh, God. Yeah. How many names do you think you can get it in? 50s. Returning champion out of 12. 1993?

Early, early Leo. Yeah, like post-Growing Pains, but... Yeah. Let's say... How many names did they... 12. 12, six. All right, she came to play.

Zero, I can name that in zero. Oh. What's my movie? Now, you know your options? No. What are my options? Do you think you know what movie it might be? I don't want to sort of tip my hand.

Okay. Fair enough. All right. So let me tell you what your options are. If you think you know what it is, say negative one names, negative two names. Then you have to do the order. From the top. Okay.

one names, negative two names. And then you have to do the order. From the top. Okay. Or, if you don't know what it is, there's really no point in doing that, I don't think. So you would have to say to Chris,

name that movie, and hope that he doesn't know what it is. I feel like everyone, well, in my defense, 1993 was my coma year, so I missed a lot. I don't know. Name that movie, Chris. I believe it was This Boy's Life.

That's correct. Oh, yeah. With Robert De Niro. With Robert De Niro. Yeah. Yeah, Robert De Niro was his abusive, I assume he was stepfather. I don't think they were blood relatives.

So Chris is on the board with one point, but you did what you had to do. I had no choice. Kumail. I have never heard of that movie. Really? I think he was... Was he nominated for that or Gilbert Grape?

Gilbert Grape. Gilbert Grape. Definitely Gilbert Grape. But This Boy's Life was a movie where everyone was like, oh, fuck. Put him on the map. Fresh off of Growing Pains. Based on a novel.

Ellen Barkin played his mother. Eliza Dushku was like a little kid in it. Eliza Dushku? Mm-hmm. Tobey Maguire was in it. She's been my illogical crush for about five years now. Illogical in what way? I don't really know why I like her.

But I know I do. Maybe also... Because she was faithful to Buffy. Because you're married, maybe. Huh? No, I have nothing. I have logical crushes on people who are not my wife. Oh, okay.

That makes sense, I guess. This crush is logical. Yeah, I thought it was a whole Spock thing. So, that means... Gillian gets to start us off again, but it'll go to Kumail this time. Alright.

Let's do it. Get in the game. At Lady Leftovers, suggested... Lady Leftovers. Sounds dirty. Something's up with that. You want some Lady Leftovers?

We call them sloppy seconds. Sounds dirty Yeah, it seems something's up with that You want some lady leftovers? Hey We call them sloppy seconds That is a nicer way to say sloppy seconds That is a nicer way to say sloppy seconds, Killian Oh, what'd you get stuck with? The lady leftovers Oh, God Anyway, that person suggested,

I know what you did last summer, and that's movies that came out last summer. At... Thank you. Thoroughly charmed. At Smash Falcon suggested... Smash Falcon? Smash Falcon.

That's Smash Mouth's pet bird. Can I ask you, is Lady Leftovers a guy or a girl? I don't remember, but I think it's a guy. Okay. Ew, then. Much worse. Much worse. I could be wrong.

I could be wrong, though. No, you have to understand, he was an undeveloped twin. So he has Lady Leftovers. He ate part of the other. Yeah. You remember basket case. Yeah. Or the dark half.

What? The dark half. Don't worry about it. Okay. Not for a metaphobes was suggested by Smash Falcon. And so that's

that's movies that people who don't want to see vomiting on screen should steer clear. So there's vomiting in the movies. That's crazy! That's a thing. My girlfriend is horribly vomit-phobic. Horribly vomit-phobic.

I've been doing not for metaphobes on the show for a while now. If she listens, I really, when a new movie comes out that has vomiting in it, I warn them. Has she seen Pitch Perfect? She did, yeah. And how did she react? She must have lost her mind. There's projectile vomiting

at the beginning and end of that movie. You can't enjoy the arc of the story at all if you don't want to see vomiting. I don't know. I didn't see it with her. Alright, you should ask her about it. It's not as bad as you thought it was if she watched that and didn't say anything. And your third choice is at rpolacheck.

The letter R, P-O-L-A-C-H-E-K. Why? Why am I... No one's going to try to find this person. But I still try to give them proper credit. Suggested Christian Mingle. And that's movies where Christian Slater has sex.

Don't do that one. No, I don't know any Christian Slater films. What was the first one? You don't know Cuffs? No. He was in a Uwe Boll movie too. What was the first one?

I know you did last summer. Movies from last summer. Yeah, let's do that. Okay. This movie from last summer. So the year is 2012. Three and a half stars from Leonard.

Oh. Yeah. It's one that he liked. Jeez. Yeah. Summer movie he liked. Mm-hmm. He says,

he says the on-screen title is different than the title he gives it. Come on. Very enlightening. Than the title he gives it? The title of the movie is different than the color he's thinking of. What does he mean?

I know, that's a terrible clue. That's the point of the clues. Make you think about it, doesn't it? That's a terrible clue. That's the point of the clues. Make you think about it, doesn't it? It's a terrible sentence. Yeah. He also says about this movie that it's very funny. Has a very funny screenplay.

Come on. Yeah, from 2012. Three and a half stars. The title. The title. There's something weird about the title. That like one person would call it one thing and another person had a whole different name for it.

And he lists... Is this a funny number of people that he lists? 19 names. It is a funny number. This is impossible. What do you mean it's impossible? I think the concept of impossible is relatively easy to grasp.

If somebody said to you, if you bid 18 names and the next person says name it, that would be crazy easy. It'd be crazy. There's just no clue, though. But that's why you want to get the bidding is where it comes into play. Audience, what would you suggest I do?

Bid 19 names. Take them all. 19 names. Take them all. 19 names. Yeah. Thank you, guys. Kumail. I like that clap.

Gillian has just sunk a putt from three feet. She's the returning champion. Could you read me that clue about the name of the movie again? It's not going to help. If you say 17 names, and then Chris says name it, I bet my house... 17 names. ...that you will get it right.

16 names. Oh, great move, Chris. Really ballsy. This is how the game is. I love what's happening right now. So you said 16. Gillian? Oh, I get to...

You'll say 15. You go lower. 15. I'll do 13 names. Now that's a bold move. I can't believe that happened. The 13 names 13 Chris he says

It's from last summer 3 and a half stars from Leonard Chris just tell me to name that movie Very funny Very funny screenplay Just tell me to name that movie We'll have a great time You'll get it though

I won't get it You will There are 6 people in the movie The main six people will not be named. But if the cast is that large, it probably means there's a lot of big names in it. I'm gonna go twelve.

A dozen. I'm gonna drop Baker's dozen to a fucking regular dozen. What if I say, like, six? Go for it. That'd be fun. Are you saying six? Kumail, make her name the fucking movie. Make her name the fucking movie.

She's saying six, Kumail. Make her name the girl. I kind of... What if I want to name it? No, Kumail. You're supposed to challenge me. Then you should bid lower than that. Okay.

I don't know what it is. But I have a phobia of numbers slowly counting down. You just want to end this? It's freaking the shit out of me. I hate bomb timers. I feel like something's going to go off. New Year's Eve. Yeah, I hate

New Year's Eve. Oh my god. Numbers going up, I'm great with. You said six? Yeah. I'll go four. Name that movie! Alright. I'll give you the four names. He was just going to start guessing without any names.

You only get one guess. And you can say either title, the one that Leonard calls it, or the one that was the official on-screen title. Very, very magnanimous. Yes. And your four names are Lou Ferrigno, Paul Bettany,

Jerzy Skolomowski, and Alexis Denisov, the dude that's married to Willow from Buffy. Lou Ferrigno. From Angel. Shit. I can't. Oh, man.

All right. I'm going to guess. What's your guess? I'll All right. I'm going to guess. What's your guess? I'll tell you why I'm going to guess. No, I don't want to know why. I just want to guess. Doug, let me tell you why. If you get it right, we're going to have to play another round,

and we're already running over. 21 Jump Street? That's wrong. That was out in March, not summer. Oh, man. And Chris knows what it is. I don't know. Do you know, Gillian?

Do you know what it is? Is it Ted? Let me keep saying names until one of you knows what it is. Harry Dean Stanton, Jenny Agater, Powers Booth, Gwyneth Paltrow.

Iron Man 2. Gwyneth Paltrow. It's Iron Man 2. Colby Smothers. It is The Avengers. Avengers! I said it first! I said it first! Oh, that's right! Lou Ferrigno does a cameo Iron Man 2. Gwyneth Paltrow. It's Iron Man 2. Colby Smothers. It is The Avengers. Avengers. Avengers. I said it first.

I said it first. Oh, that's right. Lou Ferrigno does a cameo in Avengers because he played the Hulk. I thought that was crazy obvious. You did make us think it was a comedy, by the way. Very funny screenplay. Okay, so what did he call it? That's what Leonard said.

What did he call it? The Avengers, is it? That's what Leonard said. But what did he call it? That was it, The Avengers, but the movie's called Marvel's The Avengers. Oh, God damn it! Hey, Doug. Hey, Doug. Marvel's Go Fuck Yourself.

Oh, Jesus. Marvel's Go Fuck Yourself. Marvel's, Marvel's are Go Fuck Yourself. Yeah. Marvel's are Go Fuck Yourself. I told you to ignore

that clue it was the only clue I said the clues are terrible and the other no the very funny screenplay I get that point

by Josh Whedon you know that really funny guy I get that point he is funny but I wouldn't call the Avengers a comedy it was just

there were places that were really funny like when the Hulk takes Loki but Chris what would you call yourself the winner?

Yes, I would! Can you come back next week? Oh, I don't know, Doug. Because we'll have to keep playing if you can't. Let's keep playing. Me and Gillian, let's go, Gillian. We'll get another winner. It looks like I can come back next week.

All right, Chris Hardwick's going to be back next week to defend his title. And we got to get... So Chris's cake person, Leslie, wins the prizes. And this awesome cake. And she gets her own cake back. Give her her cake back.

Happy cake day. And we need shitheads from the other two people, from Ian and from Alex. If you can come up. We wrote it on a business card. That's all he does is business cards. You can just write it anywhere in there. And thank you once again to my guests,

Kumail Nanjiani, Gillian Jacobs, Chris Hardwick. Akio Harry Potter cake. I don't know which one to say last. I'm in the state of Denver. I'm going to be at the Comedy Works doing stand-up on March 9th at 4.20

and Douglas Movies on March 10th at 4.20. Did you guys have anything to plug? I'm sorry I didn't ask you that already. Listen to my podcast, The Indoor Kids. Indoor Kids. On Nerdist. And watch Burning Love. It's online right now.

It's fucking hilarious. Burning Love is so good. And be sure to catch Kumail on Rizzoli and Isles. The show is called Franklin and Bash. Oh, yes. Franklin and Bash. And Gillian is on Community. Thursday nights at 8 on NBC.

Yes! Thank you. Biggest ratings it's ever gotten. It's going through the roof. Sure. And Chris? Talking Dead is going on now. And I have a bunch of just go to Nerdist.com slash calendar.

There's a bunch of dates like in Denver and Portland and New York and all that for live stand-up dates in April and May. Right when that poor prisoner dude was finally going to get somewhere with the lady he saw with the lesbian. Don't say anything! Some people haven't seen the show yet! What do you mean? How long do they wait? Well, more than a couple days, probably.

I would throw the spoiler veil. Give people at least a couple weeks to watch it. I'm two behind. That's ridiculous. I'll tell you what happened two ago. Tell me what happened two ago, and I'll tell you the ending to Safe House. Or Safe Haven, whatever it's called.

In either case, no one is safe, no one is house, no one is haven. It's just the way that Rick dies in the last episode. I'm kidding. As always... It's such a great twist, Doug. L. Ron Hubbard is a shithead. And the commenters on Deadline Hollywood...

Hey, thank you! That was for me. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him foggy. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies!