Doug Loves Movies - Chris Hardwick, Tom Lennon, Greg Proops, and Samm Levine Guest

Episode Date: January 29, 2012

Live from Cobb's Comedy Club at SF Sketchfest, Doug welcomes his comic/actor friends Chris Hardwick, Tom Lennon, Greg Proops, and Samm Levine to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Attention, Cobbs Comedy Club. There is a technical difficulty. It's 2012, and we're still figuring out how to play songs in public places via equipment, I think they call it. So I am going to provide a live rendition of the theme song I co-wrote with my friend Mike Furman. I believe they call this a cappella. Could everyone give me a... Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seats

with 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see because Doug loves movies! Hey everybody My name is Doug And I love stools that are too close together

I'm going to rearrange these a little bit This happens to me in all these shows I really should come by early And get everything set up exactly how I like it Instead I wander up at 4.20 Give everybody ish Yeah Give everybody

A little time to settle in A little time to hotbox outside If that's their thing. Where was I? My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from Cobb's Comedy Club house. Is that what it is now, a club house? I think that's what he said earlier.

Cobb's Comedy Club Club San Francisco, California January 29th Two Oceans 12 At 420-ish San Francisco Sketch Fest You guys having fun at Sketch Fest? Lots of great shows 17,000 podcasts being recorded during Sketchfest.

Most of them are just into a personal device in people's homes. People are blogging about it. I've read some great blogs and posts on AST, specialthing.com. People have been writing about the shows. And I appreciate when people write about a show that I was in and quote things that happened

because, you know, I'd like to know what happened. I'd like to hear about it. Be like, oh really, I said that? That's pretty cool. We did Benson movie interruption yesterday of Roadhouse. No one is road, no one is house.

And it was a blast. So much fun. But after the show people keep giving me credit for like jonah ray and brendan walsh were on the panel nikki glazer did it as well and nikki you know people knew when she was speaking that that was nikki but the three dudes everyone just gave me credit for every awesome thing that everybody said and i took it because like you know i put the whole thing together no but Jonah Ray, I got credit today from someone from what Jonah Ray said. If you guys recall, there's a scene where the great Patrick Swayze is wearing what looks like a karate thing. It's like a karate shirt, but it's tucked into jeans.

It's like a karate robe tucked into pants. And the pants are pulled up really high But when he first walked in with that on Jonah Ray said That's karate casual And the place went nuts And I sat there going I'll get credit for that

And they'll be happy to So I'm very excited about how that went I want to do Benson movie interruptions Back here in San Francisco and anywhere else that they'll have me. Because to sit in the front row of a movie that's as much fun... That movie's fun to watch regardless,

but then you add a bunch of extra jackassery to it. Like every time there's a naked ass on the screen, one of us guys would go... So juvenile, but so hilarious every time. And I'm excited to say here at Cobb's Comedy Club

house that seriously, is that what it's called now? Company? Brewing company? What is that? Why does it say Lagunitas Brewing Company on the wall? Where the fuck am I?

You can't do that to a stoner. You can't change a venue name during the program. You're lucky I found the facility. I'm excited to announce here at Iguanitas, which is Lady Iguanitas Which is Lady Iguana I am Happy to say that You know maybe this one will go terribly Afoul and will change our minds but

The plan right now is to Record another Douglas movies on April 19th 420 Eve Right here at Cobb's. Yeah. At 8 o'clock. At 8 o'clock for the people that are such partiers

that they can't get it together for 420. Which I think is the perfect time of day to do a show. It's a beautiful day outside, so I thank and applaud you for sitting in here. But I think you're going to be rewarded with some hilarity. Now it is time for... Oh, and tickets are on sale now-ish

for the Doug Loves Movies at Cobb's. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At Andy Kindler, great comic, Andy Kindler, he tweeted, I wish Gary Marshall would stop trying to be edgy and just make a commercial movie. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.

Speaking of Gary Marshall, for the one or two people who asked me on Twitter, the one or two gullible individuals who reached out to me and said, was that really Gary Marshall and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber on your podcast? For those couple of assholes I will tell you that

in addition to Paul Tompkins yes, Gary Marshall and Lloyd Lord, Lord Weber. I could not say his name right for the entire show, and he was so polite about it. He's a wonderful man. I'm going to revisit Starlight Express. I thought that was dumb, but I'm

going to revisit it because he was such a delightful guest. And we'll have, we'll try to have some more open-door policy shows in the future, because that was so much fun. People wrote to me on on twitter that was the best weirdest episode ever because it was both all right let's see uh great seed isn't it oh when when doug went into the prize bag and i got to look right straight up his asshole thank god he was wearing jeans. But I'll tell you, Karate Casual is going to catch on.

Okay, I'm going to say I don't like to judge what's in the prize bag, but this is the best thing in the prize bag. So I'm going to say it last. Of course, there's woot monkeys in the prize bag. Yeah. That's what it sounds like.

That's the horrible noise it makes. Congratulations to whoever this hits in the face. Because you're going to have a noisy, stupid toy that your dog or cat is going to murder. Holy shit! Oh my God. That was a good one That was second only to the time I struck a baby That was the best one

So somebody's gonna win a woot monkey tonight Woot monkeys becoming more rare Because I'm tired of traveling with them Airport security is always like Why is your bag screaming? Traveling with them. Airport security is always like, why is your bag screaming?

Someone brought a nice candy bar. A really tasty candy bar. It's probably gourmet or some shit. Dylan's Candy Bar. It's Belgian. And someone brought a copy of the book Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. And on a lighter note, just to lighten things up in case they didn't like that book, he also brought This is San Francisco, a children's classic.

Of course, speaking of classics, Doug Benson, professional humoridian, is in here. And one of my guests flew up here today and was so kind to sign not only the emergency instructions and the SkyMall magazine, but he also very graciously like, who needs three fucking autographs from the same? He also

graciously signed a barf bag from his flight up here. And finally, a very hard to get bootleg copy of the CBS Halloween 1995 special

of the popular sketch group called The State. Please welcome to the stage my guests Sam Levine, Greg Proops, Tom Lennon, and Chris Hardwick. Hooray. Thank you.

You're very sweet. Thank you. It's so much fun to have such popular friends. These guys have all been so cool to me to participate as often as they do and to all be here. What's happening, you guys? Getting settled.

I was getting, yeah, I was getting all emotional over here. And you guys are like dicking around. I wish I had taken more artistic license with the opening. I could have sang that anyway. And I didn't. Well, it's not too late. Do you have another version you'd like to do? Would you like to do a metal version?

No, I wanted to do more of like Doug has candy wrappers, cream of babies, circuses, in his seat. There's still not one that he won't see.

Doug loves movies big and tall. Doug don't give a fuck. he'll see them all Buy some popcorn and some Sprite Doug is gonna watch your movies tonight Doug loves movies That was awesome. How are we supposed to follow that?

That's what I wanted to do. That reminds me, what was running down Christina Aguilera's leg at Etta James' funeral? I didn't have time to read the story, but I saw on the internet today that something was running down the leg of Christina Aguilera at Etta James' funeral. It's probably one of the tiny aliens that operate her. She was just moist with, you know, sympathy.

She was so sad her vagina was crying. I think a lot of ours were. My man-gina was weeping. Sam Levine is here, everybody. Thank you. Oh my goodness, thank you so much. Sam the ma'am, a.k.a. Little Wolverine. That's why

I didn't shave for you today. Oh, you're Little Wolverine today? There you go. I'm just a little Little Wolverine today. I would say a Wolverine-y, like the little tiny... You know, there's no reason to make it more emasculating than it already is. No, it's fine.

It's adorable. It's fine. So, Sam, what did I write down here to talk to you about? Oh, you're the current Tournament of Championships Yes Champion And you're going to be in the Super Tournament of Championships Someday When we have a third competitor

And that's what we're fighting for now Who would you most like to go up against? So far Jon Hamm is in the mix And that's who I'd like to go up against Really? Do you think you could take Ham down? I don't. He's just so fucking handsome.

I just like being anywhere near him. Not gay at all. I just like being around that man. I'm going to exploit the situation and call it Ham versus the Jew. That's going to happen. Because I just thought of it. I support that. I'll sign off on it

You will Today Sam and I over lunch Had a fascinating conversation About how many Jews there are And it turns out in America 5.4 million But he rounded it down to 5 Fucking cheap Jew

So What are you going to do? We're dwindling people. But so powerful. You're like the 1%. We are. We're the real minority. Where's our parade?

Wait, we have one. Never mind. There's a Jewish parade? There is. There has to be. Yeah. It's called the Why Me Parade. That's great proofs, everybody! Hello, San

Francisco. Hello, Doug's World. Hey, dude. Hey, brother. Here's my question to you. Which are you prouder of in your storied career? Being one head of the two-headed pod race announcer in phantom menace come coming to you in 3d pretty soon right too soon pretty soon there's six of you yeah

too soon yeah let me say you 3d again on my podcast in a couple of weeks but uh are you more proud of that or your brief cameo in Super Jaime? Oh, well, there's no question, Doug. I think more people saw Super Jaime. And that's not come out in 3D. Yeah, that was in 3D when we shot it. The thing I remember about my cameo in it is that I'm acting like I'm jinked

on an eight-day meth binge like a squirrel that's been shot out of a fucking bazooka or something. And I remember being high with you, but I thought, that's how I act when I'm high? Like a hypermaniacal fucking... The Star Wars one, as you remember, that movie, The Phantom Menace, a terrible accident happened and much of the plot was destroyed. And so that's why it's like the way it is as you recall the part that i'm in which is pivotal to the plot of the phantom menace which is a there's a grain embargo in the senate don't make me go into that part is that the jedis crash land on a planet but rather than use their jedi power to fix their craft they enlist a five-year-old in a death defying race to the fucking finish

in order that they may win the prize money and risk his life. And I was one of the hilarious announcers in that. Oh, my God. They should make a movie of that. They should, because the one they did was good. But it needs to be in 3D, because when I watch it, I think,

I'm tired of two dimensions. Well, you also wonder like what will that poop that Jar Jar Steps in look like? Right. And when he goes you're going to be like fucking I never heard it in HD sound before. That was Tom Lennon

who spoke a brief moment ago. Tom Lennon. Who brought that awesome... So is it really hard to get your hands on a copy of the state Halloween special from CBS? It's a surprising pain in the ass. In fact, we only had a couple copies, and for some reason this year,

we tried to burn some copies at a place in Hollywood that makes dubs of stuff. And they refused. Really? Yeah. For like piracy issues. They're like, under no circumstances will we burn your copy of this. How were you dressed? I was dressed as a pirate. I was dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow.

And I came and I said, mateys, we have our special. Perhaps you can put this in your double disc. Out of double disc. Is that when they became suspicious? And they said, sir, your penis is out. And I said, that's me little matey.

And then I proceeded to make a really shitty copy at home. It's actually a pretty good copy. Somebody burned it for us. It's not like the Star Wars Christmas special that it's out there but the it looks terrible like it's really shitty copy that's a shame because you want to see you want to see a bunch of Wookiees sing good King Wenceslas amazing in the best quality possible I would just get the Phantom Menace in 3D and relive some of those golden moments. No Christmas special for Jar Jar.

No. Oh, sorry. What? Are you going to shit on my career now, too? Go for it. Wait a second. Oh, fuck. I ruined a bunch of movies.

I know. I'm sorry. I pointed out that Greg was in a Star Wars movie, regardless of it being the shittiest one. No one else here can say that. I did write and direct. No one else here could say they were in Super Jaime and the shittiest Star Trek. Star Trek.

Close enough. Don't worry about it. Battlestar Galactica. Don't worry about it. How dare you. Oh, the tweets I'm gonna get about that oh don't worry about it

oh I know there are differences one of them takes space takes place in space a little less than the other one every once in a while

they go to earth on one and Data never stepped in poop no that's true so Tom yes what can we expect from you in the film What to Expect When You're Expecting? Okay, quick bit of backstory and fuck you. Okay, I read the script for a movie called What to Expect When You're Expecting,

which, by the way, is funnier than you'd think. Okay, fuck it. So Rob Hubel and I had a conversation before the movie. They offered roles to me and Rob Hubel. And Hubel lives one block away from me, and we talk a lot. And I said, I don't think I'm going to do it, Rob. And then Hubel says, dude, don't be a dick. None of your fans are going to see this movie anyway.

It doesn't matter. I've been in tons of these kinds of romantic comedies. No one cares. It'll never affect our credibility. Six nights later in Atlanta, Georgia, Hubel and I are doing like the robot on a karaoke stage with Jennifer Lopez singing Don't you want a baby? And I thought,

I don't know about the credibility thing. He just didn't want to do it alone or with somebody lame. So he just talked you into it. It was a suicide pact. When do you start shooting the movie, though?

The movie, the movie will start, it's, we're shooting six back-to-back. Awesome. So, yeah. We go down to New Zealand

for like the next, I guess 18 years. Right, right. So you signed on for the trilogy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peter Jackson, the whole deal. What, but you gotta you signed on for the trilogy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peter Jackson, the whole deal.

But you gotta admit though that also that's exciting to have that story to tell, to be like near Jennifer Lopez. Yeah.

She's fun to look at, right? Oh, well, you know, I didn't actually think she was that fun to look at until I saw her in person and I was like,

I get it. Did you say that to her face when you met her that would be really offensive i basically i walked i was like oh now i see now i see all the places my wiener would go and i get it i get it lady no but just like facially she's crazy my wiener would go her eyes her eyes actually i want to hear proof's voice your wiener would go. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Her eyes! Her eyes! Actually, I want to hear Proop's voice, your wiener, in the Padres.

Hi, Jennifer. Who's ready for all this? Hey, let's get muy loco and live la vida snake. You're just Jenny from the block? Well, you ain't tasted the rocks that I got. It's called getting there. Proops does.

You can count on him to get there. Oh, I have a movie question. By the way, it's a super funny movie that hasn't come out yet. So that's why I'm not shitting on it at all. What's the spectrum you're expecting? That sounds hilarious in and of itself. That should be the trailer. You guys doing the robot.

Yeah. Well, J-Lo sings what? I don't want to sing it, but it's... Chris will sing it. Don't you want... Oh, by the way, a weird footnote about that. In that movie, Wendy McClendon-Covey, Clemmie from Reno 911, we play husband and wife. In case you want your head to explode.

World's colliding. That's not that crazy. I have a movie related question for you. Oh, please. It would seem, and I'm just out of the movie business loop. Doug, wake up. Doug. It would seem

there was a thing going around Reddit of Matthew Broderick opening the curtains and saying how could I possibly be expected to go to work on a day like this? Do you want me to solve this mystery? Please. The date is Super Bowl Sunday.

That I know. And it's just an ad for the Super Bowl. If they fucking make a Ferris Bueller sequel where dumpy, shitty Matthew Broderick... I'm serious! Like, Ferris Bueller shouldn't have a job

that he has to skip out on for a day. That guy should be fucking out there, just living the life. He should be Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago. He should be, yeah. He should be, but there's no way that current Matthew Broderick, as much as I love him and he's amazing, and Election is one of the best movies ever made, in my opinion,

I do not want to, if they make a Ferris Bueller sequel, the man is dead. You can't make anything John Hughes ever. You cannot. He made Miracle on 34th Street, and that was a fucked up move to redo that classic. But no one should do that to him, I think. I think they should pick him.

Did Ferris Bueller die at the end of the movie? I can't remember. How amazing would that be if he did? We solved this. We solved this on my... And then he rises up as a zombie and says, go home. We solved this on the Nerdist podcast. We solved this on the Nerdist podcast.

Ferris Bueller is Cameron's Tyler Durden. We figured that out. We figured this out on the Nerdist Podcast. And then it's all, the whole time, and then Simone is like, the whole time it's been you. It was not... That makes a lot of sense because

Matthew Broderick has the same lack of remorse that Brad Pitt has about how fucked, what the fucked up shit he's making him do. So if they put the deleted scene back in, you would see Alan Ruck doing all the stuff that you thought Ferris Bueller was doing. He would fucking kick the stand out and make the car shoot out the window. Exactly. Well, he did. He did do that.

Yeah, he did do that. So that part happened. That part happened. So it's starting to piece together. Jesus Christ. I think they should do a Mobius of fucking nerdiness. Can I get a glass of red wine up here? No joke.

Yeah. May I have a vodka if Thomas can have a red wine? Yes, please. Can I have a vodka and soda? No homo. I'd like a... Wait, what was that? I thought we were supposed to say no something after we ordered it.

Because I fucking There's nothing Seriously Write a message to me Tell me You can be a dude And say you like another dude You don't have to hashtag it

No homo That to me makes me go Mmm Possible homo Potential homo Yeah He brought it up Must be on his mind

Yeah Maybe they're saying I'll see you there, no homo, as in no homophones. Like, there. Yes, you're being... Huh? Grammar jokes? Thanks for doing the show,

Stretch Hardwick. Oh my god, I'm going to rip apart from my own reaching for premises. I'm filled with jelly. Someone actually said to me recently like, how can you do a whole podcast

just about movies? I'm like, yeah, it's a pretty tight subject. Well, they make one, two of those a year, right? There's not a lot to discuss. Nope. Fucking idiot. Thank you you pumpkin butter Oh look at her

Seriously I've done a lot of these on the road There's never been a cocktail waitress On the stage With exactly what we asked for That's a good thing no one tipped her She doesn't wait around for a tip It doesn't wait around for a tip She doesn't wait around for a tip She's just like

Scram before we could I've only got hundreds I'm still good with my Four and a half dollar bottle of water I got at Burbank Airport Been using this thing all day You gotta bring an empty one through Through the x-ray

And then fill it up on the other side The water fountain Jesus Christ all day. You've got to bring an empty one through the x-ray and then fill it up on the other side. Jesus Christ, is that the level you guys are really at? Hey Thomas, where'd you park? I've got to tell you though, I'm more at that level environmentally. I don't like buying

bottled waters all the time. I'm just cheap. I was just wondering if we should start some sort of farm aid for you. Yeah. Bringing your empty water bottle through bummed me the fuck out so bad. That's legitimate little old lady stuff.

Next thing is like, there's all the splendor in the world at Denny's. Tom, do you want to carpool the duck aid this year? Or do you want to just meet there? We'll just get a big city park. You're fine. Just act like a man.

Willie Nelson. Dog hands, candy wrappers. Seriously, no matter how successful you are, $4.50 for a bottle of water that's going to eventually ruin the environment. Okay, I'll drop it. I'll drop it. Oh my god, you played the green card. You should not have picked a better city to have this

debate in. Doug loves environment. Hey, Woodsy the Owl, I could go on Current TV if I wanted to have this conversation. Yeah, but more people are going to hear this one. Oh, snappage. I would argue more people are going to hear this one. Oh, snap it.

I would argue more people in the front row. No one on Current TV. I've done full hours on Current TV. I've been watching Current TV a lot lately. When is Keith Olbermann going to host a countdown with Keith Olbermann? Like, he's never there. It's always like, I'm Schmingy Fingy. I love Schmingy Fingy. So opinionated. so Schmingian.

He really puts his fingy on what's happening. Does Hal Gore think he invented television also now? By the way, there's almost never any hybrids in the parking lot at Current TV, I've noticed. Whatever. A lot of SUVs? No, just, you know, like shitty cars that burn fossil fuels. Oh, come on, what's not good now? You got me in your fucking wormhole of San Francisco bullshit.

By the way, last night on this stage, I said that San Francisco, the amount of pot smoke in the air these days makes being in San Francisco like climbing K2 inside of Doug Benson. Makes being in San Francisco like climbing K2 inside of Doug Benson. That's what I call a shout out. I was in Santa Cruz on Friday and it's way worse. Like you just step into the air and it's there. And no one around either.

It's just there. And there's vampires and a roller coaster. Yeah. God damn vampires. Proops, what were you saying? Surely you can't object to a pot-soaked atmosphere. Isn't it one of conviviality and snacks? No, it's, yeah.

It's so CNS. That's what we call it, Doug, right? Because Doug and me will get live. We're sympathetic, yo. There is. I've noticed it too, just walking down the street today. At 9.30 in the morning to the Starbucks, there was fucking... I would say right now, I feel like

48% of San Francisco is smoking the world's strongest joint out on the street. The hobos here will shotgun you for a dime. The hobos will shotgun... I thought you were doing better than this. I said...

I said homeless. You downgraded it. And he fills his water bottle. He changed it to hobos. They don't have hobos in San Francisco. Hey, can anybody shotgun this water bottle until I get to the other side of the street? Hey, there's Hobo. Hey, no Hobo.

Stewardess. Stewardess, can I get some more logs for my barrel fire? What? You're on a plane. No Hobo. Everybody. No Hobo. Did you say no Hobo?

Hashtag no Hobo. Everybody tweet to somebody tonight. Mind if I smoke your cigarette and no Hobo? No Hobo. Tweet somebody, ask them to borrow money, and then hashtag it no hobo. Yes. Hey, can I, hey, anybody put some salve on my feet? No hobo.

Hey, Tom, can I borrow your fingerless gloves? No hobo. Anybody want to hop a boxcar with me? No hobo. Bindlecraft. No hobo. Bindlecraft. No hobo. Sassy new bindle. Okay, I'm a hobo.

I'm a big hobo. I'm so hobo for you. A lot of those sounded like hobos to me. I am so hobo for these beans. You, me, and Woody Guthrie in a boxcar. Oh, a big pile of beans Boxcar in quotation marks Oh, god damn it

Rolling around in beans More like a caboose when you back it up No hobo No hobo No hobo God damn it Nice bindle stiff I didn't No hobo I didn't God damn it. Nice bindle stiff.

I didn't... No hobo. I didn't... What'd you say? What was that? Fuck it. I was gonna say, I didn't get you anything for Christmas this year.

Hashtag no ho-ho. Wow. I didn't get you any hostess treats that are wrapped in foil that are cylindrical. No ho-hos. Are you doing no ho-hos?

I didn't get you any hostess treats that are wrapped in foil that are cylindrical. No ho-hos. I don't know ho-hos. I didn't win any track and field races. No Flojo. I didn't fuck Ice T's wife. No Coco. I don't have any Chinese instruments of death. No yo-yo. I didn't have any big brown characters from Japan with big mouths and wide eyes.

No domo. I didn't just get a Kennedy Center honor for playing the cello. No yo-yo. I have not received fellatio. No blowjob. God damn it. Proops gets there.

Proops gets there. Proops gets there. He really does. He's a closer. This guy is a closer. This guy is a closer. I had one that I was really happy with, but that was it. Doesn't that happen to you

on Whose Line is It Anyway? What are you taking down now? Doesn't that happen to you where... I've strived in my career to entertain the masses. Some aspects of each other we have not shit on yet. No, I'm not shitting on it, but does it drive you crazy when you have something really good

and the game would stop right before you could say it? Oh, no. I don't recall that ever happening. It's the lying in bed later thinking, that could have been funnier. Those are the moments I wish I had back. Those and all of

1996. I'm trying to decide what to do next. No regrets, yo. You know I love to write a tight show, but I also like to ask the guests, have you guys been to the movies lately? Yes What did you see Sam?

I saw Warrior Great story Greg I have a home Warrior is really good right? Yeah it's really good I understand that they're shooting down the walls of heartache Bang bang Oh that one.

I thought I'd make a reference that you have to be. It was fantastic. It was fantastic. Thank you. Yes. I'd like to lose. Scandal. That band was Scandal.

Yeah. Yep, I remember that. I'd like to lose a lot of your crowd if I may. Oh, we had them with No Hobo. So good. I know, right? And then it all. I know.

Yeah, now the barren wasteland. All those people right now turning off a free podcast. That's bullshit. I also saw... This show's come to a screeching halt. No slow-mo. And we're back!

Oh, Hardwick brings it back! I was there at the Douglas movies at SF Sketch Fest. No so-so. I went to the county fair and had an iced cone that was flavored and it fell out of my hand. No snow cone.

That took too long and it sucked balls. I'm the first to admit it and I'm the last to know on that one. But the listeners don't know that it was highlighted by you putting a swizzle stick in your mouth. Like Dr. Evil, yeah. Yeah, that sold it locally.

I have evil plans to make rhymes in two syllables later. Hey, how's the balcony doing? God damn it, I forgot there's a balcony here. Oh yeah, there sure is. This is amazing. I love this turnout, and I'll be back on April 19th. No promo.

Oh. Oh, God damn. Son of a bitch. They turned my mic off even Did your mic just go out? They were like, yeah, we're shutting his mic down Wow Is it weird if I run out and get batteries?

Yeah, it was a good idea to give me the one that might Lose its charge Or something Does anybody Was it because I drooled into it? That might have been it. But it still doesn't seem very hot. Let's get a little bit more heat on it.

It's been a little in and out. Yeah. Here comes someone who can help us. It's the brawny man. All right. He just goes back with it. That sweater vest says to me I like the Patriots What do you think?

Is it good now? Oh don't boo Don't boo I'm just being calm Thank you sir Thank you very much He's so awesome The crack staff here

At Lagunitas Brewing company When are they going to Change the sign? Yeah, they should change it every few minutes. Really, fuck with me. So, where were we? Have we started the show?

No. Here we go. Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from Cobb's Comedy, Iguana. Where are the words? Okay, we got one for Warrior. That was a good movie. comedy iguana. Lady iguana. Okay, we got one for Warrior. That was a good movie. I also saw The Pope of Greenwich Village. Has anyone

else seen this ridiculous fucking thing? Yeah. I saw it a long time ago, and it is like, it is the height of, it's a classic example for me of a movie where the guy's best friend is so fucking annoying. Yeah. Why would he spend two more seconds with this guy? But it happens, I guess. But they're cousins. Because he's no homo.

But then also, if you haven't seen this movie, the only reason to watch it is to watch Eric Roberts acting like he is literally a cartoon character in a film where everyone else is normal. He really commits to it. But it's good in a weird way.

As opposed to his other work. Yeah. Okay. I like Eric Roberts. He was more grounded in The Dark Knight. I liked him in Raggedy Man. I'm on the side of Mark Roberts, yes. He's been in some straight-to-video shit and stuff, but Mark Roberts

is what I called him. You just called him Mark Roberts. I know a guy named Mark Roberts. You combined him with Mark Hamill, and that would have been awesome if Eric Roberts had been in Star Wars He was in Star 80 He was in Star 80 Thank you I think we just built a title almost Something happened

But you don't know what it is I don't know I'm just here hosting Where the fuck does it say iguanas? They just put it up. Okay, I'm standing in the wrong place for that. It says iguanas. Doug's not that high.

There actually are some scary lady iguanas nearby. No, there's a sign that says laguanitas. Okay, just checking. And I had some fun with it. Just checking that it wasn't like fear and loathing shit. Because sometimes it kicks in. You do the skillets. I've heard of them.

I should say that Greg Proops brought those lovely books to try to get people to be smart like him. And Sam Levine's responsible for all the airplane crap. Yeah. And the reason I signed three things is because obviously whoever gets it is going to want to keep one and sell the other two at a premium on eBay.

There's a premium section? Yeah. And signed Sam Levine items are in there? It goes for between $2.50 and $5. Hang on a second. I got to call bullshit. Yeah. Go ahead.

That helped because you had a phone. It's unfair. It was in my hand. They don't know that you had a phone at home, which is amazing. You got to play to the crowd here. Of course. The crowd at home will be like,

oh, everyone laughed. It must have been good. Must have been amazing uh chris you've been in the movies lately well i i've not actually been into a movie theater for a while but i did i did the other night try to get through birdemic and it is it's and i have because i have a friend in the movie like i know someone who's in the movie and so like oh i gotta watch this how bad can it be chris can i ask what a small synopsis of the plot of birdemic shock and horror can you sing it i'll tell you because i've

watched i only watched 40 minutes of it and i have seen nary a birdemic yet there's yeah they come in late they really take some time setting up the characters birdemic wellemic. Take the plot of birds and later introduce the video game Joust without having the technology to pull off Joust. It's crazy. It's the movie. It has to be on purpose.

Does it? Because it doesn't even... The movie is sort of like... The movie is... Fucking terrible? Well, yeah, but in a way that you can't even... The movie is sort of like... The movie is... Fucking terrible? Well, yeah, but in a way that you can't even... The scenes will start and people are standing there and then they start acting and then they stop

and then it fades out. They do stuff like that. It feels like the guy edited it in camera. No one wanted to take any kind of room tone to make the sound. If Tommy Wiseau's the room is is jazz burt demick is a fucking twitching person having a fucking seizure on the ground that's that's the one that's what so it's i thought you were gonna say another musical

style and then you said a fucking person twitching on the ground yeah it's really amazing different but it's that it's exactly that different. But what's so fascinating to me about it is that it's just part of our culture now where really awful things get rewarded. So they're making another Birdemic. He's making it. That guy is making Birdemic through 3D.

I know. I'm in it. I play the guy's best friend. I read for it. What to expect during a birdemic. It's so weird. It's so weird. I wanted to like how like, oh, it's so cheeky because it's not great, but it's really, you just get mad at it.

You just want to punch it. The best bad movies are the ones that are fun to watch in spite of their badness. Greg? Yes, Doug. Oh, what pictures have I... I haven't gone out to the cinema because, as you know, they let the public sit in the seats. And I have to spray myself with sanitizer.

God damn it, I hate that policy. Seriously. I can barely go to Amoeba Records because I'm in the cha-cha section while a Mexigoth is sneezing. And I have to just surround myself with sanitizer. A what is sneezing?

A Mexigoth. Is that a Star Wars character? Yes. Mexigoth was in the Padres. I thought we were calling Mexigoths Taco Billies. One, those are delicious. Two, they're spicy. Mexigoth was in the Padres. I thought we were calling Mexigoths Taco Billies. Yeah. One, those are delicious. Two, they're spicy.

Three, they have a beaded chain collar. Abort! Abort! Mail out! Mail out! I'm pretty sure there's one of them I really am fond of, and I can't remember which it is. I'll figure it out. It's in one of them. And so I watched the artist. I had a screener of the artist.

Yeah, they send it to us. It's in black. Yes, they. Yes, us. The president of show business has a list of us. And what happens is he presses a button and one of his minions who toils ceaselessly in the basement shoots screeners to our individual homes via FedEx

because it's terribly important that you see them immediately. But the other day I got one that was they sent me what's another Harvey Weinstein? Oh, Iron Lady. They sent me Iron Lady because I'm in SAG. That was good. Robert Downey's great at that. Because I'm in SAG and WGA. Senior?

They sent it to me and then but then with a note saying, but if you want to see My Week with Marilyn, you can go to a website to watch that. Yeah, you can download it. I'm like, yeah, but I need My Week with Marilyn to be on DVD so I can really control. Right.

I can really slow down and speed up wherever necessary. When you're seven, your itch starts to scratch. Iron Lady, I'm not going to stop or start it for any reason. Right. No, in fact, you'll get up and make food during the middle of it. Iron Lady's a casserole movie, you know what I mean? I have chopping to do. I'm going to put

something in the oven. Some of it you just listen to for a while. Are you really going to sit here and tell me that Margaret Thatcher is not in your spank bank? Come on. Dude, Margaret Thatcher and Dira Gandhi, you know, there's a few ladies that you think I'd get with her. She's in my offshore account, but she's not in my spank bank. She's in your Cayman Islands. Because you've been Cayman over her. She's in your off-spank-shore account.

Yeah, you heard me. All right, well, we really. No more high bro. Only low bro. Shall we play a game or two? Yes, Professor Falcon. The audience seems to support that idea. We have started. I thought that was the intro.

The program has started. Here we go. If it had started, I would have heard the theme song. Could you do it, Greg? One more time. Chris, when... Don't sing it again, but... After I name the third audience-suggested shithead

at the end, I'll point to you. Do you know the end theme as well as the opening? I believe I can recall that, yes. Okay, good. Says the guy who doesn't smoke weed condescendingly. I think I can remember that song I've sung a few times. But you know, they go on fucking American Idol

and they forget the lyrics and they hold that against them. Like, once you're successful, you can forget the lyrics all you want. Yeah, I mean, all I keep thinking is who watches that shitty show? I do, and I keep thinking is, who watches that shitty show? I do, and I'm obsessed. Do you really like American Idol?

I do, I love it, because I love singing, and I love... Doug, we should have American Idol viewing parties. For reals, do you like it? Doug loves American Idol. Doug interrupts American Idol. Dude, I barely Twitter about it, because people just get so angry.

Like, how the fuck do you fucking like American Idol? Why don't you just smoke weed and lay down in a ditch? But you do that too. Yeah. I smoke weed and watch American Idol. I didn't get that involved in the voice. I wasn't into that. I watched a few, but I didn't get into...

What was the Simon Cowell one? X Factor. Yeah, I didn't watch that. What about the skating one? Did you watch that? There was an ice skating one, wasn't there? Oh, I watched that watch that. What about the skating one? Did you watch that? There was an ice skating one, wasn't there? Oh, I watched that.

I saw the dude from The Scorpions or one of those dudes. Awesome. It was fucking great. That's good entertainment. It was great. It was just,

it might have been, it should have been called Waiting for Someone You Heard of One Time to Get a Sprained Ankle. And that concludes the Pete Holmes Memorial sidebar

Portion of the show Someone you heard of Might spray that rag on He'll be back No but like he's a king of sidebar Like I try to always drag it back to movies It's a weird compunction that I have Is that a word?

Are we playing already? Oh we're playing we're going Oh really? I'm already losing I feel like Let's play Build a Title Yay Is that a word? Are we playing already? Oh, we're playing. We're going. Oh, really? I'm already losing, I feel like. Let's play Build a Title. Yay! We'll start with Sam and go to Greg and then to Tom and then to Chris.

Because Chris is a little unclear about Build a Title. I think you just put... No, I think I know how it works. Well, you'll definitely figure it out by the time it gets to you. I think I already know. Okay, yeah. Well, then you're in the fucking sweet spot. Although I say, you know, I get all cocky about it, and the last time I played Doug Gloves' movies,

I completely fucked up the rules. Okay, yeah, let me remind you quickly. We're not at Leonard Maltin Game yet, but when we play Leonard Maltin Game, only say the name of the movie when I ask you to. Don't blurt it out as soon as you know it. And then fuck yourself over. Okay, here we go.

At AC Barentine suggested Falling Down. Sam Levine, go. Falling Down to you. Oh, who was in that? Freddie Prinze Jr. Thank you. Hashtag some homo. Okay, Greg Proops.

Falling down to you. Ends in falling or fall. Begins with you. What do you to You Ends in Falling or Fall Begins with You What do you got? Ends with Falling? Ends with Falling or Fall A movie You know, to build a title

Or Ends with You Or Ends with You I'm sorry, Begins with You Ends with Falling, Begins with You Falling Down in You You're the One I don't know where that fits in with you. Oh. Ends with falling, begins with you. Falling down in you. You're the one. I don't know where that fits in.

Oh, doesn't that start with you? No, but could it? Oh. That's a contraction. Fuck me. Can I do one and pass it on? Please. Falling down to U-turn. Falling down to U-turn. Sweet. I like that. That's very sweet. Oliver Stone movie starring J-Lo and no robotic dance. I saw U-turn. Falling Down to U-turn. I like that. That's very sweet. Oliver Stone movie starring J-Lo and

no robotic dancing. I saw U-turn. It was really freaky and not good. Okay, so we have Falling Down to U-turn, Chris. Falling Down to U-turning Point. Yeah. Ballet movie. Falling Down to U-turning Point Break. Whoa!

Falling Down to U-turning Point. Whoa! Falling Down to You, Turning Point. We skip Greg and we go to Tom. Break, Turning Down to You. You're out, Greg. Breaking Away. You're out. Falling Down to You, Turning Point Breakdown. Oh!

Wow. Is the movie called Breakdown? Yeah, there is a movie called Breakdown. There most certainly is. It's awesome. It's actually very good. They break down on the side of the road, and a bunch of truckers.

Oh, and then shit happens. And then they pull like a, it's like Deliverance in the desert. Fingers and french fries, the whole deal. Go, Chris. There's piggy rapes. It's amazing. Falling down to you,

turning point, It was hot. It's still amazing. Break down. Falling down to you, point, break, uh,

what was it? Break down to you point break but break down to you we created a Mobius I don't know what to do with that I don't think you guys the same title again so try again you get a couple extra seconds to think. Falling Down to You Break Down. No. Has someone written this down? Falling Down to You Turning Point Break Down. Yeah. Down. That's exactly right. By law. Here's a clue. Nazis. Down.

Down. Greg gave you a great one that they'll hear at home. Down. There's Nazis. Down. Down. Greg gave you a great one that they'll hear at home. Down. There's Nazis. Down. Downtown. Julie Brown.

Okay, Chris, you're out. We go to Sam. Falling down and out in Beverly Hills. Oh. I was thinking of downfall, but that's cool. I will say. And then we go to Tom. What?

I add cop and we go. Keep going. All right. Cop. What did you end with? Oh, Beverly Hills cop? Okay. Yeah, down on Beverly Hills.

Cop out. Out. Oh, shit. Am I out? Yeah, you're out. It's between Tom and Sam. Very exciting. Come on, Tom.

Fuck it. I meant out Laws Really? Is there not a movie called Outlaws? Yeah Outlaws Outlaws of attraction

Oh shit Back to Tom Lennon Come on TL Attraction Attraction. Shun. Starts with attraction? Fuck. Or shun. But it can also end with falling from the very beginning.

Yeah, it could end with falling. Or fall. Or fall. Ends with fall. God damn you, Doug. Brad Pitt was in it. I know. Do you fucking hate me Brad Pitt was in it. I know. Do you fucking hate me?

Fine. Thank you for the help. Legends of. Legends of the falling down. You know the rest of it. I think part of the game should be you should have to say the whole thing correctly. It is. Yeah.

Sam can do it. Sam can say the whole thing. Can I? Yeah. Jesus Christ. You're the only one who didn't order a drink. Sam can say the whole thing. Can I?

Yeah. You're the only one who didn't order a drink. Legends of the falling down... U-turn? Down to U-turn? Down to U-point? Break down and out in Beverly Hills. Cop? Cop out.

Laws of attraction. Sam Levine. By the way... So you need something that ends in legend or begins in shun. In China, a room full of people this size just did something useful. Right now, in the bizarro... I made Doug spit. In the bizarro other side of the earth from us right now,

all of this same number of people, and they invented something that will play an MP3 or do some shit under horrible working conditions. Of course. Oh, of course, of course, of course. Sweatshop. Yeah. This is more of a nicely air-conditioned shop

where we create ideas And fun and mirth I got nothing for laws of attraction So you're out and Tom is our winner Hang on, I have something for the top Oh, sorry The pledgings of the fall Whoa

The pledge So we just have pledgings of the fall Wait, I don't even know what we're doing. So we just have pledgins of the fall. Wait, I don't even know what we're doing now. What happened with pledgins of the fall? What the fuck is going on? You need something

that ends in pledge. No, nothing. But that's not spelled the same. Which is nothing except for a clean home. Ends in pledge. This isn't building. This is hurting.

What are we doing? This is... I honestly want some sensible laws of attraction. This isn't building. This is hurting. What are we doing? What was the very end of it? Outlaws of Attraction. Can you think of a movie that starts with Shun? People in the audience can. Of course they can.

They always can. You guys are the smartest audiences that aren't allowed to participate. It starts with Shun. Shunatown. Shunopolis. Shunville.

I give up. All right. Sam Levine is our winner. God damn it. That was inevitable. That one was so great, I'm not even going to bother to repeat it. I got really confused at Pledgians of the Fall. I listen to this podcast all the time.

That shit flies, man. Yeah, yeah. It's true. You've got to be a regular listener to know what kind of shit flies. But tremendous job by all. No stakes to speak of didn't really matter who won except now we're going to play

the Leonard Maltin game oh boy holy shit that does mean that we will start with Sam and then move in the direction of Chris Hardwick gentlemen on the panel Greg, Tom, Sam,

Chris, please pick a name tag that you would like to play for. It is an amazing array of name tags. You can go out. Go down the stairs and into the audience. If you see one, there's a big one over there.

There's a big one over there. This is ridiculous. I know your listeners love this part of the podcast. I'm a big one over there. Alright, Doug, while they're doing that... This is ridiculous. Because I know your listeners love this part of the podcast. Oh my god, I'm overwhelmed by you. This is absolutely insane. This is absolutely insane. I know, I know. Alright, I'm going to go with this young lady.

She baked her name in these sandwich brownies. That's perfect. What are these? Whoopie pies. These are amazing. I usually lose if you've listened before. Let's make some room for it.

Here you go. Put it right there. I'm going to try. I'm really going to try. Oh, my God. There you go, Chris. Put those right there. Gobble.

Oh, roofies. Are those edible? Or do they have... Are they edibles? No. More specifically. Could I eat them? Yeah, but do they have... Are they edibles? No. More specifically. Could I eat them? Yeah, but do they have weed in them? Oh, look at that. Oh, no. No weed in them, but you can't eat them.

Oh, I see. Okay. This is an incredible amount of work that you've put into this, Wendy. Well done. To me, if food doesn't have weed in it, that's wasted calories. That's a good call. Alright, Tom, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Brandy. I'm not going to sing the song

because you probably have to pay for that. Not yet, but someday. Oh, then great. Brandy, you're a fine girl. What a good life you would be. Why are we skipping ahead? Such a fine girl. But my life...

It starts like this. Oh, there's a pot in a harbor town and she works a-laying whiskey Oh, there's a pot in a harbor town. And she works at laying whiskey down. There's a brandy fetching out the round. She serves them whiskey and wine. Let's say brandy. We're not there yet.

You're a fine girl. Well, I love life. It would be. A guy comes in and he gives her a ring. But my life, my My love and my lady Is the sea And by the way I think the real version

Of that story Is secretly he's gay He's just saying It's the sea Oh my god You just ate the D For Doug I thought it was for me

Are you eating Are you eating... Are you getting higher right now on candy? Well, I'm playing for Wanky now. How was it? Oh, is she playing for Brandy down there? Oh, yeah, I'm playing for Brandy. We got lost down at Wormhole. She's a fine girl.

What a good wife she would be. Oh, but my life and my love of my ladies is sea. Sorry, Brandy. Do-do-da-do-do-do-do. Yeah. Who are you playing for, Greg? Check it out. I'm playing for Marie, who has an elaborate grand piano.

Do you want me to hold it while you do this? Yeah, thank you, Thomas. To scale. I'm going to give you some... That's like some Schroeder from Peanuts. Ricky Schroeder was on Peanuts? Yep Sorry it only makes a heinous noise

But you get the idea It's like Schroeder and Lucy and what not I love it Does he get to keep that Marie? Or do you want that piano back? No he does not I know how much it's worth What I really want is a cookie now

For future audience members Of Doug Loves Movies Please only bring things that you don't want back Thank you Because the guests will wander off Does she want that back? She said pretty clearly She also said through telepathy

That she'd like you to stomp on it right now That can happen Sam She also said through telepathy that she'd like you to stomp on it right now. That can happen. Sam, who are you playing for? I am playing for a guy who called himself Patman. Patman. He printed out the Michael Keaton bat symbol. Yeah, old school bat symbol. It's just on a simple piece of paper.

It was printed out today because the date's right there on it. And as you know, I like to choose the least creative name tag because I myself am not creative and hate creative people. I feel the uncreative should be rewarded occasionally. For more Batman wallpapers, go to movie-wallpapers.org slash pictures slash b slash batman slash batman underscore o o o dot jpeg. Thank you, Chris.

Give them some traffic. You guys are the worst. There's some cookies right there you could have had. Pat's had a rough life, dude. There's some Raisinets. The guy needs one nice day. Your name is Raisinets. Those cookies are screaming, by the way.

They're the shittiest candy alive. I love Raisinets. You do? The cookies are screaming. Well, you should have picked her then for Raisinets. I didn't see her Raisinets. Instead, you have a tiny piano you have to give back. I was dazzled by the Elton John-ness of this awesome prize.

That's more Liberace, I think. It is a bit more Liberace. You're right, Sam. And before we started eating away at it, what was the name of your choice, Chris? Wendy. Wendy, okay, so hopefully we'll remember that. She left you alone. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Also known as Welcome to Jamaica, man. Have a nice day.

Yep, that's right. I fucking love that joke. Come on! Three people are on board. Let's move on. Are we playing the game yet? Yeah, we've already played. We've already played and you're out. I've never won this game, ever, Brandy. Yeah, you know.

I usually lose pretty fast. Leonard Malt game. Sam Levine gets to go first. You guys picked your name tags. How many points do you play until? Two? Playing to two points. Stop showing off, Sam. I listen to the fuck. Are we doing European rules today?

Are we doing standard Doug Loves movies? Wow. No, today is Quidditch, Leonard Maltin. I'm a beater! Where the rules are completely inconsequential and just waste a lot of time in the film you're watching.

Remember, a room in China doing shit right now. Yeah, but they're not happy. They're not happy. Not at all. Yeah, it's miserable. It's a fucking sweat house. We're comfortable. They're just very skinny and sexy and getting shit done.

Yeah, but they have to give up their first daughter and all that. Of course. That's Tom Lennon's fetish. It's like a woman is working too hard and she's skinny as a result of it. Oh, that's hot. You just said I'm in the sweatshop. I want to get with that exhausted woman

who is below average weight. She doesn't even know her rights. Here's a quick... I like them like veal. Oh, she doesn't even know her rights. I like them like veal. Oh, you like them to hang out in a tiny box? Yes. Sex veal. Oh. I should also say,

before beginning this game of Leonard Maltin game, that... Are we playing it? Not only will we not be playing the Wayans World category, but I also won't, for the third show in a row, play the movie Scary Movie. Because in the last two shows, I played the same movie in the Leonard Maltin game. And people wrote to me on Twitter, Hey, you fucking... And I was like, yeah, what are you going to do? And it was different guests each time,

so I could play it again tonight. But I'm not going to, because I just ruined it by saying... describing it. Hello. Greetings. Chris is like, Who's hosting this? Let's do this

I gotta get my Leonard Maltin app Out of my pocket Pulling out the app Turning on the phone Doug loves movies Typing in his code I know

Isn't typing in the code The worst? But you kind of have to It's the worst thing Anyone ever has to do, Doug. Hashtag white man's problems. No, it's hard for black people, too. It's hard for everyone of every culture.

Equally. A guy who smokes as much drugs as you, you have no case for that fucking phone? Are you insane? I know when I can drop it and when I can't drop it. Yay, I have the answer key I'm getting you a fucking otter box Dude dude check this

I will show you this thing backstage You can't break it Amongst other things This is fucking pristine I don't drop my baby Right you treat your phone like a god damn baby That's right I just feel so awful that you have

to punch that code in every time when i think of the people in sudan who haven't had a hot meal in eight years or the the clitorectomies that are happening all over the fucking third world right now i think that's almost three seconds of your life. You know what I mean? Every time you turn it on. A clitorectomy is clearly worse. I am on board with that statement. And for a comedian who makes as much as you, three seconds is valuable. Yeah, it is.

Oh, shit. That tweet that I just wrote is old news. Because I had to type in my password. Well, you know, if some of those women put passcodes on their underwear, then they wouldn't get clitorectomies because no one would know the code. Oh, wow. I agree.

Don't get indignant with me, you assholes. You've been laughing at horrible shit this entire show. Be offended by everything or nothing. By the way, I said I like to fuck sex veal. He fucked sex veal. Wait, wait, I said I'd like to fuck Sexveil. He fucked Sexveil. Standing ovation. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm gonna put a mirror up to you fuckers. Tom Lennon just talked about getting a boner from a woman who is malnourished with no rights. And you laughed hysterically. I hiss

back at you, San Francisco. I hiss back at you, San Francisco. I hiss back at your hypocrisy. We are all awful people. All of us. And I stand by my passcode. Doug, what happened to Doug? Hey, everybody.

In fairness, by the way, I'd like to point out. No, that really was a horrible thing I said. Three and a half hours ago when we started this podcast. I don't even remember it. Doug turned to Sam and he said, Sam, I have to pee right now so bad I'm going to wet my pants. When we started, he then said,

You just reminded her. Oh my God, that's right, I've got to do that. He said, Sam, you're going to host the show for a while. Right. But I can't pee now because they're about to play the theme song. Then the theme song didn't play for 18 minutes. Yeah, for like a year. Yeah.

Okay. Chris, you're doing my job. Chris, you're doing my job. Oh, you're supposed to. Oh, my God. This is terrible. Is that Doug? Yeah.

It's just all one constant mumbles from Dick Tracy. Here's Doug now. See this, not that. Hey, he's back. Doug loves pooping. Auto-captured poop. Literally two hours ago. Yeah, you guys, I had to take a shit,

and apologies to anyone else that goes in there next Cause I didn't have time to Clean up the situation And it's not the bathroom that you go in next It's just the hallway Don't go in the hallway next Is what he meant No time

I've got a show to do The bathroom's fine. The rule of the theater, anywhere backstage is a toilet. Doug, you asked me to take over for you while you were gone. I think I did you proud. I got four words in. You did a great job.

Thank you. I honestly thought, as soon as Chris went into that rant, I was like, I've got two minutes. You did. And you were totally accurate. Chris did you as Dustin Hoffman as Mumbles in Dick Tracy.

Right. It was a lot of levels. It was that Al Pacino movie Injustice for All. You're out of order. I'm out of order. The system San Francisco's out of order. Don't judge me when I make a clitorectomy joke in your face.

Rather look at yourself and realize there is no spoon Whoa Oh shit Oh my god Are we playing the game or Let's do it let's play Letter Molden Game Brandy I think I'm losing still again I'm sorry We got 17 minutes Of Letter Molden Game fun

Ready to go Let's do this We start with Sam cause he won Build a Title Hit me Doug We got 17 minutes of Winter Mountain Game fun ready to go. Let's do this. We start with Sam because he won Build-A-Title. Hit me, Doug. My notes are on the floor, but I don't care. Hit me. Before we play this game, it just happens.

One of the movies in this game came up in the conversation. What the fuck? That's an exciting clue. Is it Scary Movie, Doug? God damn it. I'm not going to play it three shows in a row. Or will I? Could be Scary Movie 2. Technically not the same film.

That's right. There's lots of scary movies All the way up to 14 Alright Sam Levine Did I say that we go to Chris Hardwick from you You have one of the Following categories to choose from Would you like Star Wars

That's films With either Star or Wars In the title Would you like It's Heather Graham's birthday today. Yeah. A few people like her. Roller girl, if you will. That always sucks when that falls on a Sunday.

The banks don't get the holiday. Oh, shit. Now you have a shitty mind. Oh, shit. We found a glitch in the matrix. There's a glitch in the matrix. Oh, my God. The agents are on to us. Somebody in the matrix. There's a glitch in the matrix. Oh my God, the agents are on to us.

Somebody call the guy. Maybe if you hadn't have uprated the crowd so harshly, your technicological things would be working now. And I said technicological. Technicological. That's right, I added an extra syllable to sound smarter. Yeah, my microphones. Your third choice. Are you all right? I am fine. The microphone sound smarter. Yeah, my microphones. Your third choice, are you alright?

I am fine. Your third choice, Sam, is four-letter movies. That's movies with four letters in the title. Examples would be SWAT, Paul, Milk, Mash. Did you just explain to him how four letters work? It's just fun because those are the ones we've played in the past and I keep adding them in. MASH. Did you just explain to him how four letters work? By the way, Sam... It's just fun because those are the ones we've played in the past and I keep adding them in.

It's fun. I would like to go with STAR WARS. Okay. This movie has STAR or WARS in the title. Alright. One and a... Greg is trying to play the STAR WARS theme on the tiny piano to no avail.

And to little comedy. It is a little piano. Humor left the room. It is outside smoking right now. Oh, shit, I like to smoke with humor. I'll go outside and have a good smoke with Jokey Joke. Whose turn is it? It's on Sam Levine.

Which is not fair because Sam doesn't have a drinking problem yet. I guess I have to remind everybody, don't yell out answers Chris Hardwick style. Wait until it's your turn. And that goes for the audience too. Yeah, Sam, fucking Jew cop. I know your 420 crowds get rowdy. Sorry.

One and a half stars from Leonard for this movie that has Star Wars in the title. 1993 is the year. He calls this movie straightforward. And he also says that there was a TV movie version of this same story. And he names 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,

12 names from this movie from 1983. 12 names. Oh, 83. You said 93. Wait a second. What year is it? Holy shit, it's 63. No, wait, it's 43. Do I hear 23?

The year is 1983. 83. Let's be clear that it's 83. It is? We've all traveled back in time? And one and a half stars. How many names do you think you can get it in, Sam, out of 13 names?

83. Hmm. I'm going to say negative two. What the F? This, you know, you remind me of... I'm wrong, by the way. You remind me of Ray Fiennes in Quiz Show. I think you have all the answers before I do this whole interesting. I've said

many times on the show before, I'm probably wrong. Never meant it more than I do right now. I have to say name that movie. I can't do it in negative three. Of course, who could? I'm telling you, I'm probably wrong. Son of a bitch! I know which movie it is.

I think I can do it. God damn you freak of freaks and geeks Wait no you were a geek I'm sorry What is it? Is it the aforementioned Star 80 starring Eric Roberts And Mariel Hemingway Get glasses He got them in the wrong order

Oh Wait Thank you Get glasses. He got them in the wrong order! Oh, wait. Thank you. How could you be excited? That was fucking Jedi shit I just did. In fairness, Doug gave you a huge clue before. He said we'd already mentioned it. You yourself mentioned Eric Roberts earlier,

which is now very suspicious. Yeah. Yeah. It just seems a little plain. You actually, your only monologue in this podcast so far was talking about Eric Roberts. It's true. And I tell you, Chris Hardwick talking about Quiz Show

is not that weird to me now. Yeah, right? You were in an office together, and Doug was like, you gotta make it look fake. I mean, you gotta make it look real this time. Right, right. Don't accidentally blur that.

Just to show how on the level all of this is, Sam and I were at lunch today. No hobo. And the subject, the subject came up of, we started talking about Marmaduke for some reason.

Yeah. And I had in my- God, I wish I'd been a fly on the wall at that fucking conversation. That must have been like being in Paris in the 20s with Hemingway and Gertrude Stein. That's why I was nominated for Best Fucking Picture! I don't know, Greg.

I mean, it's almost as if that dog thinks he can be on the couch whenever he feels like it. Well, I mean, what a reductive look at Great Danes. One has only to look at Danish history to see that Marmaduke is not doing them any service. Great Dane? Great Dane? More of a middling Dane, I'd say. Great Dane cook is more like it. Oh, you're offended by that, too? Yeah, they are. This fucking audience needs a clitorectomy.

Too sensitive. Too sensitive. Sex view. My name is Mitt Romney and I do not approve this message. Okay, so what the fuck just happened? I'm so confused. Sam won. Yeah, yeah, but my point is... And it's super dubious.

My point is that I have a category called No Chipmunks, which is movies with talking animals that are not chipmunks. And loaded up and ready to go was Marmaduke, but when Marmaduke came up over lunch, I went in and I removed it. What a good man. Yeah, because this is a completely fair game.

Wow. Standards and Practices is shining and smiling right now from above. Standards and Practices is the most fucked up thing in show business. Because the network hires people to tell the network what they cannot put on the air. They hire... Oh, I'm flipping out over nothing. Everyone's looking at me like

we're in Star Wars. Hey, by the way, Wendy, I remember your name. What was in the cookies? Was it a lot of stuff? Did you put it in the butter? She said there's no shit in there at all. It's sugar! Oh, that's what happened. Oh, he's off.

Doug is running around the stage just like he's celebrating that I reversed the order. This is a movie called Super Fructose Me. Where you fucking fructose the shit out of yourself. I'm sure Sam As much as myself Was delighted by the fact

That a movie We already talked about Was the first movie That came up Very randomly It was great And then you fucked it up And you got the names wrong

I fucked it up I guess I should have Got zero names But that's you know Yeah you went But the last time I did that You yelled at me And said if you know it

Just go negative But seriously Who's the star in Star 80? Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts! No, the star in the title of the movie is the girl, not the guy who took a shotgun and

ended both of their lives. Remember that scene where he takes the thing from the nail clipper and stabs the dude with it? That's fucking great! I want to do that when I'm in high school. Well, you still are castable as a high school student. That's the idea. Why are you in the new Jump Street?

What the fuck? Oh my God, you totally... Call your agent. That would have been amazing. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you. All right, here we go. But Chris Hardwick gets a point.

Oh. No, I've... Listen, the crowd and I have been fighting. I've lost a lot of goodwill. A lot of goodwill that I've built up for years. You did call them assholes. Yeah. No, hypocrites.

They got uppity on me. They got uppity on me. There's like one black guy. How could they get... That's rude. That's rude. That was way out of line. That's way rude.

That was super racist dare how dare he but seriously is there anyone using the word uppity besides you and newt gingrich we trade off it is such a fucking racist word uppity why is that right but you don't know why uppity is racist i really don't i must be a fucking moron what did did I miss? Or sexist. You only say it to someone that you're better than. Yeah, but that's not true.

There's a ton of... I don't know what I just stepped in. Chris, I'm on your side. You stepped in Jar Jar Binks shit! Mees, I don't like it. I had no idea. I guess it's really cards on the table time for Chris. I'm

sorry about everything. I will fold like a fucking house of cards. I have no No, dude, I'm with you. I had no idea. Hey, I'd like to hear more about the Marmaduke conversation. Yeah, me too. He had the fish and chips. I had the steak salad.

Don't leave out anything. Now I gotta know what... Just because of the way Twitter works, I'm gonna step out of this show and all of a sudden be the most racist person in the world, according to the internet. I don't know what I'd say. No one will accuse you of being racist,

but they do agree with me that usually the word uppity is only brought up in situations where a white person is talking about. Oh, really? They say it in the movie The Help a lot. Is that what it is? Do you also throw around the expression tar baby? Or food stamp

president? I don't... I thought uppity was like an obnoxious, rich, smart person who was like, I know more than you. I thought that's what uppity was. That's a smart aleck, you asshole. How much more time is there? Four more hours.

We have two more minutes. My next question, have we started the podcast yet? I'm starving. Because we don't want to lose some of these gems. Like the thing about Marmaduke. You know, Thomas and I were driving over here. Stop getting uppity. I didn't know that was a bad word I will never say it again

According to Chris you can use it in any situation I had to wait almost three seconds For my Lexus to show me where I was backing up For reals? Almost I'm exaggerating greatly It's like a second It was like you worked in a coal mine in West Virginia

I'm extra sensitive I just want to say I'm extra sensitive to race issues Yeah. It's like a second. It was like you worked in a coal mine in West Virginia. I'm extra sensitive. I just want to say I'm extra sensitive to race issues because I met a black guy once. So it really stands out to me. Don't worry about it, Chris. Uppity doesn't immediately mean that, but I was just trying to... Hey, Chris, if it makes you feel better, I said I was in the sex veal. Yeah, he did say that. All right, so we're going to start with Greg Proops for this next round.

Jesus. My superstar. Whatever you want me to call you. Are we still playing that game? Different game. It's the same game. Okay. And we'll start with you, and you'll get to pick a category,

and then we will go to Mr. Tom Lennon. All right, cool. I will then fumble. And then a round to Chris. Whatever you want to do, man. Everybody's strategy is their own personal thing. Would you like... Greg Bruce, would you like

three letter movies? That's movies with three letters in the title? Not like Milk, Paul, Swat, or Mash? Or would you like I Have a Boomstick suggested Nice Beaver And that's movies where a known actress Shows off her vaginal area

Yeah, people love it Or Wow, these guys Vaginal, vaginal is how we say people love it. Or, wow, these cats... Vaginal's how we say that now? Vaginal. Because I just want to... There's an elephant in... There's an elephant in the room,

which is the way you pronounce vaginal. Vaginal. Vaginal. Vaginal. Oh, you played a gynecologist in a movie, so I'm going to go with you on that. Keep shitting down my neck. Why is that shitting on him?

He played a gynecologist in a movie. A movie I like a lot. When does that movie come out, by the way? Oh, Sam. So easy. God bless you. Don't you want a baby? When does

cake... Hashtag no J-Lo. Fuck yeah. Boom. Seriously, tell everyone when cake, veg, and net-non... Fuck, that didn't work at all. I think we were talking at the same time.

Alright, the third category you get to choose from, Greg, is at Sipperly, the guy's name is Sipperly, Greg, is at Sipperly. The guy's name is Sipperly, his last name. Sipperly when wet. Suggested Darshi Blows, which is motion pictures where someone gives someone else a blowjob.

No. I detest that category. I never find it funny. I'll do the vaginal one. Thank you. Check your pronunciation, but okay. Vaginal. There's a nice beaver in this film from...

Thanks, I just thought it stuffed. I couldn't stop thinking that the whole time. That's where the idea came from, was that joke in Airplane. Yeah, all right. 1993. Please go ahead. And two and a half stars for this movie

that features a vagina. Leonard Mullen calls this movie that features a vagina. Leonard Mullen calls this movie Mordant. Mordant? Mordant, meaning dying in France. It was not popular in France. He also says that this movie has

an oversized canvas. What? And yet it has... So it's like a later Monet. And yet it has a, on full display... I can name it. ...vaginal area.

Yeah, and someone shows their thing here. Yeah, and there are... Is this the counting process? There's 26 names. I can do it in three. We go to Tom Lennon. Can you go lower, or do you want to say name it? Oh, man, I feel like I know the movie,

but I can't remember the title of it. I'm going to say name it. Okay. In three. All right, Greg Bruce. Because I think I might be wrong. You get. Okay. In three. All right, Greg proves. Because I think I might be wrong. You get three names. With my guess.

It's from 1993, Two and a Half Stars. Which is sometimes 83 in your show. Yeah, it could be from any time in the history of cinema. In the word, yeah. Oh, wait, is it? No, you can't guess. I know, I fucked up. You already said name it.

I know, I fucked up. You'll have a chance in a moment. Back off, man. Back off. Back off, dangle. Your three names are Dirk Blocker, the late Charles Rocket,

probably the late Dirk Blocker also, and Michael Beach, who is probably still alive, to the best of my knowledge. An oversized canvas. Yeah, oversized canvas from 1993. You see somebody's vaginal area. Two and a half

stars. Check your pronunciation. Sliver. Oh! I don't think we saw Sharon Stone's vaginal in that. Oh, I was just thinking I did. The actual answer is, I'll tell you the actress, and everyone will go nuts saying what the movie is,

because you can't forget it. The actress is Julianne Moore. Oh. And the motion picture's called Shortcuts. She has an argument with Matthew Modine, where she's her vaginal... She's ironing her pants. Her vagina was on the tip of my tongue.

I believe you also see Huey... Cut off. Oh, censorship! Stop SOPA! What I was about to say was Huey Lewis and a little fella I call The News. Oh, you did? I don't remember that.

I never said that. Maybe the mic's cut out on things that aren't totally solid. It wasn't that amazing. It's not amazing until the mic's go. I'm still workshopping most of my jokes about shortcuts. All right, I'll see you later, Greg. Greg's taking off, you guys. Remember four hours ago there was a lot of goodwill in this room?

Now there's a lot of hunting. Alright. I try to always bring it back to movies, you guys. I'm a one-track mind. So who got the point on that, Sam Levine? Tom got the point. Yay! Tom has a point. Shit.

So you have a point? No, he's out. Chris has a point. Tom has a point. Greg and I have no points. Greg and you have a point? No. Chris has a point. Tom has a point. Greg and I have no points. Greg and you have no points. So we'll start with Chris and go to you. Go to Sam. Nope. Sam's out. No. Technically that's the same direction you just went. Go around the other way. We'll go to Tom.

I guess. Yeah. Okay. Chris, you get to pick category and hopefully Greg will be back in time. He's out, though. Greg's out. We'll catch him out. No, he's not out. You continue to stay in, like, every other time you've played this game.

I thought when you lost the... No, no, that's build a title. Here we go. Chris, would you like... Yeah, yeah, and 12 Guests at Christmas is the elimination round version. Oh, right, right, right. Okay. All right, Chris, would you like... Yeah, yeah, and 12 Guests at Christmas is the elimination round version. Alright, Chris, would you like Asparagus P

on Twitter suggested zero names. That's where I will give you everything that Leonard has said about the movie, except for the cast, and then you have to start at zero names or less. Next category is King of

Pancakes suggested the number one movie ten years ago to this very day. Yeah, it's an exciting category. Or, oh, I can't believe Greg made it back in time. That was close. Greg, did you eat like a powdered donut or something?

I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. When did it start snowing in San Francisco? The Falcon and the Snowman is the answer. Or heat. IFC, the network where comedy bang bang is going to be on soon, they named the most underrated comedies of be on soon They named the most underrated Comedies of all time So either the most underrated comedies of all time

Number one movie ten years ago today Or zero names Where you just fucking find out everything there is to know And then the bidding starts at zero Oh I want to go underrated comedies Of all time I know the answer This is an exciting one because

There's more than one answer there's more than one answer. There's more than one example. So you get to pick the year this time, Chris. Because you picked a good one. Would you like 1979 or 1991 for the most underrated comedies according to IFC? I guess

let's go 91. Okay. Okay. Two stars from Leonard Maltin. Oh, I'm probably in that. He's part of the underrated. Yeah. He is the 1%.

Two's about my wheelhouse. 1991 is the year. Memento fucks that up, I know. Leonard calls this movie wildly overblown. Wildly overblown. And he also says that the lead star of the movie makes a steady stream of wisecracks, only some of which are funny. The lead makes a steady stream of wisecracks, only some of which are funny. The lead makes a steady stream of Wisecracks, only some of which are funny.

It's wildly overblown. Two stars, 1991. Overrated, according to IFC. And there are 13 names. How many names do you think you can get in, Chris? Oh, my God. Let's just start at 13. Yeah, smart opening bid. Then we go to

Tom Lennon. Sure, take it down by one and let's keep going until we get there. Okay, so Tom says 12 by my math. Then we go to Greg Proops. 91. Four. Four names! Uh oh. Yeah. No fucking around.

No, we go to Sam. Enter balls. Stage right. What's he going to say? Greg Proops named that movie. Oh, shit. See, I was hoping my gambit would empower Sam to once again use his Jedi powers. What I've done is cut myself off at the nuts here and left myself once again exposed to the horrible paucity of my knowledge in this area. But go on.

I don't know. I don't to the horrible paucity of my knowledge in this area, but go on. I don't know. You might not even know what paucity means, so... This one could go either way. It's like 50-50, like cancer. Really? You're not going to fucking get all over him for that? I've got a good fighting chance. What?

San Francisco. Is it because I'm wearing a dumb tie? Is that what it is? I seem more threatening? No, there's a film called 50-50 about a guy with cancer. It's a movie reference. I know that. I know that.

It's not a people who have cancer jerks reference. I like people with cancer. That sounds even weirder for some reason. I feel bad for them. Okay. Here's your four names, Greg. Leonardo Cimino. Frank Stallone.

That's an interesting name. That doesn't come up a lot. Lorraine Toussaint. And Andrew Bynarski. This was an underrated comedy from 1991? Mm-hmm. Comedy? Mm-hmm.

With Frank Stallone? Yeah. Probably some sort of weird cameo I'm guessing or maybe I'm going to go down a limb on this one and say Evelyn the Taper wait a minute that's not a movie

that's just some weird shit I thought of in lieu of thinking of something good and coherent I don't know if you remember the Evelyn the Taper series, but it was one of Portugal's finest achievements. It won the Golden Flambé in 94, which is Portugal's third highest honor in cinematic excellence. Try to name a comedy that was overrated from around that time.

It's an overrated comedy from 91, yeah. No, it's underrated but overblown. Yeah, well, that's according to Leonard. Fuck. Leonard is amongst the under-raiders. Kittens. You know, you took a shot at it. Am I wrong?

Did the review say? It does have the name of an animal in the title. You are killing me. You're killing me with this. Why? Because I'm giving up clues. Well, he already guessed. Kittens. Oh, did he? Yeah. Oh, and that's wrong? Yeah, what is it?

I don't know! Oh! I thought you knew! This guy seems to know. Did you say this movie paints too big of a vagina? It's Hudson Hawk. Oh! Hudson Hawk. Yeah, everyone in the audience knew it. Bruce Willis, Hudson Hawk. So Sam Levine gets a point?

Woo-hoo! Oh, Hudson Hawk. Of course. Just the audience knew it. Bruce Willis, Hudson Hawk. So Sam Levine gets a point? Woohoo! Oh, Hudson Hawk, of course. Just for you, Patman! Patman fever, driving me crazy. Everyone 40 and older gets that joke. Hudson Hawk was the

movie that Bruce Willis had his car completely shaving creamed by the crew. Do you remember that? Because he said some shit like rich people don't make that, you know, whatever. He made some comment about the crew is poor and I'm rich and whatnot. And they put shaving cream in his car. Are we just talking backstage

right now? Well, I have done fucking nothing. Do we have 400 people in front of us? There is no end in sight. Can I get another glass of red, by the way? I'll take another vodka tea. Brew up some coffee soda. I just need to make sure there's not a lot of traffic going from here to SFO this hour of the night, right?

I can make it there in like 10 minutes? Okay, great. We'll wrap it up. Who's got the points, Sam? I got the points. I wasn't kidding. You got a point. Who else?

Three of us have points except Greg. It's almost even. Greg is going on without a point. Can I change my answer to Hudson Hawk? And we'll start with Greg. Oh, my God. Greg and I were not involved in that. It's got to start with Tom.

Start with Tom. Okay, and then we'll go to Greg. I guess. Yeah, we'll start with Tom. Tom, Chris, me, Greg. That's Night at the Museum money right there That's what that is Sam, it should be Tom, Greg You don't see them making two dollar bills anymore

You always go at the person who challenged and fucked up That's who you go at Alright, well It's gotta be Tom and Chris No, I'm gonna lose, I know, Brandy, I'm sorry, I told you Sam insists on Tom and Chris. No, I'm going to lose. I know. Brandy, I'm sorry. I told you. Sam insists on Tom and Chris, so that's all I care about. Greg and I were involved in that, and it was going this direction. All right, so Tom picks the category.

Look, we've all had a few drinks. Thank you, thank you. Tom picks the category. Okay, great. Let's go. Tom, would you like short film that's movies that star a small person that probably is not Sam Levine? No. He said person, right. Would you like not

Chipmunks? That's movies where animals talk and Marmaduke has been taken off the table out of fairness? Shit. Or would you like Roadhouse? Which is movies that feature an RV in some way. Because an RV

is a road. I feel like the last two are two of my strong suits. I'm going to go... Were you in the Smurfs movie? Probably. At some point, I probably came in and I said, look you Smurfs,

I don't care if you raise all that money by tomorrow. I'm still banning blue things And then the blue man group shows up It's a fucking crazy scene It's on the cutting room floor I will take Weirdly, I think I will take

Movies that feature a recreational vehicle Okay I know this one This one Greg Proops Wait till it's your turn No, but this one I know this one. This one. Greg Frups. Wait till it's your turn. No, but this one I know. Okay.

Might come around to you. And it's not Hudson Hawk 2. Nothing is Hudson Hawk 2. I'll say. Tom Lennon, two and a half stars from Leonard. This movie's from 2006. In fairness,

once on the podcast I said Leonard could suck my crinkly balls. Did say that. Now he heard it once again. I was only saying it again because I know he listens. Because Leonard does listen. So you still can. Leonard turned this off

hours ago. The offer is still open. He falls asleep to these. Two and a half stars. 2006. He says this movie is about a beleaguered husband and he also says about this movie that it's pretty funny

at times. Two and a half stars. I already know this one. And there are, well, you have to wait. 2006? Four, five, six, seven, eight names. How many names did he get in? But I humiliated myself before it twice. How many names did he get in? But I humiliated myself before twice How many names did he get in? Tom Lennon, star of 17 again

How many years ago was that? Six years ago? Yeah I think I know this one Were you in this one? I'm probably in it You might be Does somebody go to either a doctor or a gynecologist or a friend? I know

And ask to either look at their vagina, or their friend, or their relationship, or that they turned into a teenager. It is not an Anna Faris movie, or a hot tub time machine. Fuck, I might not be in this. I'm going to try it, I'm going to try it in,

fuck it, we've been here a long time. I feel like 2006, unless I'm crazy, six years ago, I'm going to say, I think I know it in zero Fuck it. We've been here a long time. I'm going to... I feel like 2006, unless I'm crazy, six years ago, I'm going to say I think I know it in zero. Whoa! Where do we go now, Sam? I'm doing... Who's it go to? Chris? Name that movie. Name that movie, he says. Son of a

bitch. I may be wrong, but I need to say that I already said it when I was asking for the category, which is, is this movie called RV? Yes, it is. Yes. Yes. Without that saying. Tom's got two points now, I think.

Is that two points for Tom? That's two points for Tom. Tom is the winner. Wow, Tom Lennon. Awesome. Kristen Chenoweth, Jeff Daniels. I saw this movie. I cracked myself up picking RV as the movie in the category about RVs. That's pretty funny. I had such a fun laugh over that.

But you didn't laugh when I said I'll take the recreational vehicle category. No, no, I was playing it cool. Like Alex Trebek up here. You just sat, you just were, you're the Cheshire Cat over there. Robin Williams and Cheryl Hines, are they the? Cheryl Hines is the wife, and Robin Williams, right? Yeah, yeah, Jeff Daniels gets second billing, though. Oh, boy.

Yes, and Christian Chenoweth is his wife. I saw it on a plane, and I walked. I was thinking it was going to go negative one. Oh, okay. Up and down the aisle of the plane. I wouldn't have gotten it. I wouldn't have gotten it. Yeah, so Tom's the winner.

That's fantastic. This was fun. We've only gone 13 minutes over. So that worked out perfectly. I feel bad. I really was kidding around. I hope I didn't offend anyone. You offended me, Chris. I don't know.

I'm always worried about hurting people's feelings. You're the most uppity white guy I know. Stop it. Stop saying it. The black dude left. Oh, great. He's like, I'm out of here. I can't stand all this uppity talk.

Chris, you were right. Thanks for... I think you can still use uppity, but for comedic purposes, I jumped on it. I hope I did offend some people here because I've been told I'm a little too family friendly. Here's a sentence you could still say. Mrs. Obama was uppity.

I could... Listen, as long as you can absorb some of the heat off of me and take it on to you, I'm fine. Done and done, it seems like. Do you mean... Wait, Mrs. Obama, do you mean Black Sigourney Weaver? Oh. Take a look at pictures, people!

They're never in the same room together! Somebody's gonna make an awesome YouTube clip of her saying... What does she say in Aliens? Get away from her, you bitch. You bitch, yeah. That'll be awesome. Thank you so much.

We went a little long, and Cobb's Comedy Clubhouse is very nice about these kind of things, and they have another show coming up at 8 o'clock. Oh, that's plenty of time. Yeah. Let's talk about

Marmiteen. Let's keep going. Everybody on the panel, name the top 100 movies of all time. Let's do it. AFI or BFI? Oh, Jesus. Okay. Hot Tub Time Machine. Yeah, that's number one.

Anything where I'm the gynecologist. Well, Hot Tub Time Machine's a great movie because if you say, fuck this, after ten minutes, you've still seen Tom Lennon. And you've seen his entire role. So that's all you really need to see. So you were playing for whom? Who were you playing for?

I was playing for me. I was playing for Brandy. Where's Brandy? Come up and get your prizes, Brandy. You get this whole bag full of stuff. Some of it is actually... Did you cradle her head? Congratulations.

Thank you, Brandy. And who was Greg playing for? I'm sorry, Marie. He was playing for the piano. Where's Marie at? Do you have somebody for me to call a shithead at the end of the show? Did you write it down on something? Oh, Brandy. You are a fine girl. Sean is a real estate

novelist. Oh, that's Marie. Marie, you're a fine girl. Oh, look at that. There you go. Thanks for bringing the piano, Marie, and thanks for writing that down. Pat, right in front of you, needs to give a shit. In my mind,

what I really think happened is the piano was used in a murder and she wanted somebody else's fingerprints on it. Someone extraordinary. And she thought, one of those fucking Benson idiots will touch this thing. Then I'll put it right back here on the crime scene.

A tiny virtuoso has been killed tonight. And only one of you could have been the murderer. Let's see. That's what my fans call my guests, is the Benson idiots. And who knows an F-sharp minor? Only Greg Proops. That's messed up.

Who'd you play for, Chris? I played for... Wendy. Enki. Now it's... Oh, he's eating more of it. I played for Wendy. Where'd she go?

She's right here. Oh, there you are. Who do you want me to call a shithead? Oh, it's on the thing. The bottom of the plate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta take these off of there. You gotta eat them all now, I guess.

Okay. Oh, my God. Well, good. No one's gonna eat that now. Oh, my God. Well, good. No one's going to eat that now. Oh, fuck it. Oh, there you go. Okay, there it is. Who's that?

Just a first name? You licked your hand and then grabbed the other ones. I don't even know what to... I mean, I can't... No, Doug. God damn it. Thank you to my guests, Tom Lennon, Greg Proops, Sam the Man Levine, a.k.a. Little Wolverine, and Chris Hardwick. After the third shithead.

Okay. Oh my God, another drink came for me. Can't believe I missed that. All right, as always, Jessica is a shithead. Alright, that's some personal crap right there. And Hugo in 3D

is a shithead. I'm down with that. And the Laguna Brewing Company is a shithead. Bah, bah. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his brewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you,

because Doug loves movies. loves movies. Please don't be mad at me.