Doug Loves Movies - Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Jeff Garlin, and Dave Foley Guest

Episode Date: February 24, 2011

Doug welcomes actors Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Jeff Garlin, and Dave Foley to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the UCB Theater on Tuesday, February 22nd, 2, Oceans 11, in front of a live audience. Full of name tags? Where are the name tags tonight?

Oh, they all come out when they get mentioned. We got Tam Fam is here. Is that real, Tam Fam? Okay. Ashley's over there. Rick is in the house. Some other dude. Oh, we got one that's on a boob.

She wrote, hello, my name is... I signed that boob? When did I sign that boob? When did I sign that boob? When Patton was here. Well, you know, Patton inspires that kind of behavior. Says, your name is Angie. All right, well, that's going to be hard not to focus for the rest of the show. Yeah, good one, Hans.

Hans, whatever. Do you see who's sitting in front of you? Next time we represent, get that shit on your tit. Pang is back. It's good to see you again, Pang. Hello, my name is Brian. Anyway, thanks for bringing the name tags. You can put them down now.

One week when I said it's time to play the Leonard Maltin game, and all the... Oh, last week when I said it's time to play the Leonard Maltin game and all the, oh, last week when Kevin Smith was here, when all the name tags came out, I hadn't told him about that aspect of the show and he had never listened to it. And all those name tags came out. Like, everybody had one last week.

And he wasn't phased at all by it. Every other person I've ever had on the show would be like, what is happening? What's with these name tags? tags and bubba but he just was like just went with it so you got to give him credit for that I had a blast last night taping Douglas movies live in Portland at the helium comedy club there with special guest TJ Miller flew in in to do the show with me, and we barely argued at all.

It was good. You can listen to it now or soon by purchasing it for $2 in the comedy album section of iTunes. And we're going to have no taping next week here at UCB on March 1st because I will be flying to Miami that night to do stand-up shows at the Colony Theater on March 2nd as part of the South Beach Comedy Festival. But then I'll be back here the next week,

and you guys that are here tonight should all come back because that's going to be an awesome one. I don't know if it's going to be more awesome than this one tonight, but it's going to be neck and neck. Lately, I wake up every morning i just pinch myself about the kinds of guests i've been getting uh the next benson interruption taping in los angeles at largo on las llenaga is at nine o'clock on monday march 7th and i've already booked a great special guest for the doug loves movies live Live once again in the Pacific Northwest at Parler Live

Comedy Club in Bellevue, Washington on Sunday, April 3rd. This Sunday of this particular week in February 2 Ocean's Eleven, the Oscars are going to be held and I stand behind my predictions that Social Network, Natalie Portman, Colin Firth, Melissa Leo

and Christian Bale will win. I know it's all boring choices but that's what's going to happen. And my other prediction is that host James Franco and Anne Hathaway will do a sketch where his arm gets stuck between her tits. Or I should say, I hope that will happen. All right, here we go. You guys ready? My guests tonight, three funny, talented dudes

who act in major motion pictures and have supplied voices for animated classics like Bugs Life, Wall-E, and How to Train Your Dragon. Please welcome Dave Foley, Jeff Garlin, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. Thank you so much. Jeff Garlin, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. All right. It's packed in here.

Hi, guys. Hi. So, do I know somebody? Do I know you? Oh, okay, okay, cool. Nice to see you. You just chatting with people in the crowd? Yeah, I feel bad for her. She's sitting, she's got a point of, like, okay, cool. Nice to see you. You just chatting with people in the crowd? Yeah, I feel bad for her.

She's sitting, she's got a point of, like, my ass back here. She's going to enjoy herself, I think. Or she could just close her eyes and pretend it's a podcast. Now, Jeff, is your style going to be to only pick up your microphone when you have something to say? No. I will begin now as you have asked me something. I will hold it the whole time. I'm going to go under.

By the way, I'm going to go under. It was bothering me having it draped over. Under is way better. Thank you for having the self-reliance to do that. You were not afraid to look stupid, and you look brilliant. Yes. I look comfortable in my own skin. Imagine if maybe five seconds later I had done it. You'd feel like a fool.

Yeah. I wanted to do that. Congratulations to you on having the courage to copy me. I do. All right. I thought you were congratulating him with this conversation. guys are losing TamFam with this conversation. Gotta keep TamFam entertained.

Dave Foley, first of all, let's start with you. Alright. Is it wrong that I kind of like Monkeybone? I love Monkeybone. Well, yeah, you are both in the wrong. It's a Comedy Central classic right there.

When it's on TV, I'll just sit there and watch it. I think it's... I used to use it as a threat against my children. If they didn't fucking shape up, I'd make them watch it. I find the movie very confusing. Myself. It's pretty amped up the whole time,

especially the Chris Kattan sequence, which I think is fantastic. I think Chris Kattan's very funny. I think Bob Odenkirk's got a funny bit in it, too. Yeah, yeah. They're both very funny in it. And I'm naked in it. I was thinking about mentioning that.

Thank you. Thank you. I want to focus on the one person who enjoyed being naked. He's a big fan of your naked body. What was the name of that movie that David Steinberg

directed that you did that was hysterical? The Wrong Guy. The Wrong Guy. I love that movie. There I'm with you. That movie is funny. I've never seen

what's it called? Monkey Boner? Monkey Boner. Is it called Monkey Boner? Why is it called Monkey Boner? Well, it's me. It's about a guy, a cartoonist played by Brendan Fraser.

It's Brendan Fraser, Bridget Fawkes, and me. Oh, I know that movie! All right. All right. Okay. I never saw it, but I know it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And they show it a lot on Comedy Central? And it's directed by the guy that directed Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Beard.

Henry Selick? Yeah, Henry Selick. Selick? Yeah. And it's the only time guy that directed Nightmare Before Christmas Henry Selick Yeah, Henry Selick And it's the only time he's ever directed live actors But he directed us one frame at a time He just runs in there and moves you a little bit Then runs back out of frame I love it Jeff

Why weren't you in the sequel to Daddy Daycare? They didn't offer me enough money. But they did want you for it? Yes. To star alongside Cooper Gooding? Yes, yes, yes. Well, it was originally, my contract was originally a movie with Eddie. And then Cooper Gooding is actually, I'm friendly with him.

And he said, would you do it? And I said, if they pay me enough. And they didn't, and that's the only reason why. Can I tell you something? Best decision I ever made, because in every review, it singled Eddie and myself out as having careers that are too big to be in the studio. And I would have gladly been in it had they said, here's a million bucks. Sure. I'll be in Daddy Day shit for a million bucks. I don't care.

But it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. No. And I don't regret it a second. I was just being silly asking that question. I know you were. I thought the answer was just because it was Daddy Daycare 2 would be why you weren't in it.

No, I was in Daddy Daycare 1. What do I give a shit? But with Eddie. Well, that was the reason why I did it. It was like, I'm going to start with Eddie Murphy. So that's why I said yes. Normally, I wouldn't want to be in Daddy Daycare. Would you do Dr. Doolittle with Cuba Gooding Jr.? For a million dollars.

Part 3? Yes, I would. I would do Part 8, The Shitty One. I would call Dr. D Dolittle befriends Hitler. And if you pay me a million dollars, I'll be there as long as it's a short shooting schedule. I bet you radio could talk to animals. I bet you radio could. Radio could talk to animals.

By the way, if we controlled show business, my friend, that movie would have already been out. Oh, good lord. There'd be some weird-ass movies if we controlled show business. There would be. Chris. Christopher. Hey. Vince Ploss.

I just love the way you read. That's so crazy. Go ahead. I didn't really need to read his name just now. I was just double-checking. No, no, no, I have a question. I was just double way you read. That's so crazy. Go ahead. I didn't really need to read his name just now. I was just double checking. No, no, no, I had a question. I was just double checking to see if I had a question for you. I have to admit, when I sat down, I was rather taken aback that you had notes.

Yeah. Because I thought you're just like a high wonder kind who just can do it all no matter how fucked up he is. And look at you with notes. Good for you. I'm proud of your prep. They're handwritten. Maybe you did them in the car on the way here. Yes, I write it all down while I'm driving.

Because texting is dangerous. See, I like that when you read, I get the impression that every time you go to read, you're surprised that you can read. It does have that vibe. You look down and you go, oh, you're surprised that you can read. It does have that vibe. You look down and you go, oh, these make sense to me. Movies? I love reading. No, that's part of it.

Movies are why I don't read as much as I should because anything worth reading has been made into a movie. Come on. Sometimes a better one. Not Charlotte's Web. Wait, which version of Charlotte's Web has disbursed you?

Any version of Charlotte's Web is not as good as the book. I thought Paul Lynde was good as the rat in the first one. I didn't critique Paul Lynde's performance. I would agree with you. Everything Paul Lynde is gold, that he does. But the book is better.

And by the way, ironically, as a child when I read Charlotte's Web, I pictured Paul Lynde in every role. Like Dudley Moore in The Adventures of Milo and Otis. He reads all the parts. Chris, you played Red Mist in Kick-Ass

and what I want to know I want to know what it's like to be in the best movie ever made. Holy shit! Thanks! Hopefully because of all you guys we'll make a sequel soon enough. If you have a million dollars,

I know who you can get for it. Would you want to star in that with me? Would you want to be a superhero? I would be in Kick-Ass for far less. Kick-Ass 2, if you will, for far less. But still a significant amount, but far less. Yeah. Well, Chris' Red miss' dad dies.

Yes. So you'd probably need daycare. Stepfather. If we controlled Hollywood, Doug, we would combine daddy daycare and kick ass. That's genius. That would kick ass. Combine kick ass with anything I'd be down with.

Yeah. Monkey bone. Yeah. Charlotte's web. Anything. Any kick-ass plus something and I'm there. And so you think there's going to be a sequel?

We hope. I mean, Chloe, who played Hit-Girl, is working non-stop right now. She's working with Scorsese and a shitload of other people. So if we get her back, we'll do it. Can't do it without Hit-Girl. It's impossible.

That's right. You have an interesting mic technique. Do you know that? No, I'm kind of just resting my... It's almost like you say something and then you want to shake it off. Hey everybody, how are you? I'm going to stick with it now that you brought it up.

Yeah, it's your style. I saw Henry Rollins the other night and he did this. That's why he held the mic. And I thought, why has no stand-up ever done that? It just seems like maybe he wants to be in a fight or something. He wants to sing a Black Flag song. But it was all, for those of you listening, the wires wrapped around my head. You know what I mean?

It would hurt your hand less if you punched somebody right now. It would. All right, try it. So I imagine hecklers, I imagine hecklers, this is a good, you know, heckler, like, I'm ready. All right.

Now I want to do it. That's why he did it. It seems like a lot of trouble for no reason. But he just, like, he came out and wrapped it around and did that, you know? Did he ever shove or push you

or anything? No. Because one time I saw him at some function, and he came up to me, and he liked the routine that I do about McDonald's, which is weird right there in and of itself. And he punches you hard when he's giving you a compliment, or at least in my case he did. He loves Curb Your Enthusiasm,

and all I got was a bunch of gentle lovemaking. If we could just talk TV for a quick second. Can you tell us anything about the next season of Curb? I know a lot of it's in New York. It's in June sometime. And the second half of the season will take place in New York. The first half is in L.A., second half New York. And it's hopefully good.

I mean, I think it's funny, but who the hell knows? Is Steinberg still working on those? He directed an episode, yes. He directs an episode every season. Oh, good. Yeah. That's how I ended up. Actually, he said, I'm doing a screening tomorrow night.

What was the name of the movie again? The Wrong Guy. The Wrong Guy. And I went, and I couldn't have loved it more. Man, that's a funny. Did you ever see The Wrong Guy? Yeah, yeah. It's a funny movie.

That's right. You don't think so? Yeah. I do. Guy? Yeah, yeah. It's a funny movie. That's right. You don't think so? I do. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Just the enthusiasm is not running amok from your mic. I don't know what to say. We've talked about it on the show before.

It's a very funny movie. Yeah, it is. I love it. What movie are we talking about? You obviously like it. You don't love it. I don't know. Go ahead. Sometimes I don't know movie are we talking about you don't love it I don't know go ahead sometimes I don't know

what we're talking about but I do know that I want to know that's a horrible segue I enjoyed it what had you guys been to the cinema lately

have you seen anything yeah what'd you see Chris pretty much everything that's out right now I've seen well what would you recommend then so you, Chris? Pretty much everything that's out right now, I've seen. Well, what would you recommend then, so you don't have to trash fellow filmmakers?

Everything that's up for an Oscar, pretty much. All ten Best Picture nominees are good movies, I think. Yeah. I think all ten are good. I've not seen all of them. I just saw Gnomeo and Juliet. Did you really, though? I did. I saw Gnomeo and Juliet. Oh, dear God, man. Unfortunately, I did not get to see it in 3D.

By the way, I will not see a 3D movie ever again. I'm boycotting 3D. I'm with you. I'll see it 2D only. 2D only. You know what movie made me do that? It was the worst movie I saw all year, which was Tron. I actually took my glasses off because there were tons of moments that weren't 3D.

Whether it was made in 3D or added later, I think How to Train Your Dragon was the only release this last year that was worthy of sitting there with those fucking glasses on the entire time. I love 3D. I used, I have collect 3D cameras. Oh, Harold Lloyd. Have you seen Harold Lloyd's pictures?

Harold Lloyd, the great comedian, took nude photos of 3D. I mean... He had some hot Maryland pictures. Yeah, 3D. I mean, it's a nice place of hot Maryland. Yeah, he did. I swear to God, these books are available. They come with the 3D glasses. Harold Lloyd, the great classic sound comedian in his later years,

would take naked pictures of women in 3D. I have. I swear, and they're great. I ordered this book from Amazon that was the history of 3D nude photography, and I thought it would be kind of quaint but it's got like pictures like from the 1860s of women being penetrated

by a black man and the black man's head is turned away because it's the 1860s he would be lynched for doing this. And somehow for a black man a hood would be lynched for doing this. And some member of black manhood would be inappropriate. He's just doing this. And you're seeing

but it's like there's like spanking and just like oral sex. It is not at all quaint. That reminds you of something? It's hardcore. Jeff Garlin, you have something? I saw the mechanic. I saw that too. Now, it's terrible. But it's awesomely terrible Jeff Garlin, do you have something? I saw the mechanic. I saw that too. I saw that.

Now, it's terrible. But it's awesomely terrible, in my opinion. Well, you're young. All right. Fair enough. But what's his name who's the lead? Statham. Yeah, Jason Statham is so watchable.

He is such a movie star. I've seen numerous movies of his. They're terrible. Yeah, pretty much everyone. And he is just, movie star and he can be in I've seen numerous movies of his they're terrible yeah pretty much everyone he is just you watch him the whole it's like wow he's great yeah yeah he's good I wish he would just like you know I don't he was in that one movie with the bank heist or whatever not that Italian job no no no the bank Job The Bank Job The Bank Job and then his first movie the only two good movies he's ever been in

Yeah No, No Me Oh Juliet That was his third movie His first movie was the one Lock, Stock and Smoking Grandma That's a

Smoking Barrels, yes But that guy I would love to see him in a great movie Alright, well The Mechanic is not awesomely terrible What have you seen But that guy I would love to see him in a great movie Alright well The mechanic is not awesomely terrible What have you seen? 8 movies in your life? I'm 21 give me some time to grow

Yeah but also it's more fun to sit and watch something shitty when you're younger When you get older it's kind of like Oh I could do other things The clock is ticking Yes but I still went Let me ask you this. I have great tolerance for seeing crappy action movies and crappy sci-fi and all that,

but I cannot watch more than 10, 15 minutes of a bad comedy. It makes me angry. I get angry and have to leave. Yeah, that makes sense. And also, every bad comedy these days has really funny people in it because they use the people that are part of the system. That's something about you, Christopher. How have you only been in good movies? How do you do that?

Have you seen Marmaduke? Because that's a shitty movie. You're in Marmaduke? You're just a voice of something in Marmaduke. I was a voice of a dog, so that cancels me out. It was just a paycheck. Yeah, yeah. You didn't even have to bring that up. Nobody would have called you to task for that. I think I was out of town when my daughter went to see Marmaduke. By the way, yeah. No, no. See, you didn't even have to bring that up. Nobody would have called you to ask for that.

No, I think I was out of town when my daughter went to see Marmaduke, so I spared that one. And by the way, in all sincerity, that's not what he's talking about. Like when you're live at... Yeah, I think it's easy... Just because we were in brilliant animated movies. Yeah. Tomorrow I'm recording Cars 2. I am.

How are you? Yeah, yes, I am. I saw the first one. Can I go on record saying, well, that's just bullshit. I didn't get a call.

You may still. All right. Yeah, you should just complain about it in every interview. Yeah, why? They're such nice people.

They wouldn't want you talking shit about them. Yeah. Pixar. Oh, yeah. To be in non-shitty movies, guys.

No, it's just. No, by the way. No, I've... Live action. It's a fucking... School the old timers. I'm actually proud of my own movie.

I want someone to eat cheese with. But outside of that, thank you. But outside of that, I've only been in shitty movies that I can think of. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think. I think... Like, I still, with my parents,

I'm only 21. I don't got, like, a mortgage to pay and a family to feed, so I'm really... Oh, but you will. But I will. So when I'm wrong, but I think. I still, with my parents, I'm only 21. I don't got a mortgage to pay and a family to feed. Oh, but you will. But I will. So when I'm older, I guarantee you guys, I will make some shitty movies. I bet you. But right now, I get to really pick what I want.

You shouldn't. I really shouldn't. But also, there's a bit of luck to it as well, though, right? What's that? There's a bit of luck to it as well, because, you know. I mean, yes, there's certain luck where, you know, with Role Models, we got that script like five months before we made it.

It was called Big Brothers. It was a completely different director, different writers. It was shitty, but Rudd and Sean William Scott were attached. I was like, I want to work with those guys. They got David Wayne attached. They rewrote it completely, and we lucked out and made a really awesome movie out of it. I think so.

I was really... You don't have to applaud that. I've been happy for you with each successive release that it's putting more and more weight behind. People can't just yell McLovin at you on the street anymore. Tell them that

because they still do. But people must call you Red Mist, though. I've gotten that a few times and that tends to be what you kind of described backstage. I was saying, no one ever goes wait till they get

a look at me or what's that yeah the last line of how many times people say that he goes once and I thought

boy fanboys are just a lot smarter and more respectful than the general it's true because all these people you get

very specific questions that you have no idea like what kind of gun was that I've never gotten that question. Really? The nerds don't ask you really specific stuff? Because it's in Doug's notes.

Yeah, it's right here. My fan base tends to be I'm buying you a shot, bro! That's the people I meet. Those are the best fans. I had those when I was young. And I don't miss them.

Don't miss them at all. Did you get a text? What are you reading your iPhone for? It's time to play the Leonard Maltin game. Oh, wow. All right. Do you know I've gotten a load? No Leonard Maltin over the years?

People just threw up names. Just like whoosh, that's it. Everyone threw up a name. That's a very rough and buff like. Lara's got a super flashing sign. So let me tell everybody what the prizes are this week.

A poster of my face. My album Hypocritical Oath. We've got Jeff Garlin brought a copy of Young and Handsome, A Night with Jeff Garlin. Which is, it comes to your home and videotapes an evening together and then puts it inside this packaging. That's what I do. You are correct.

And I also brought a copy of Professional Humoridian, my first CD, and the motion picture that some of you may know called Super Jaime. Christopher brought, and I appreciate this, Kick-Ass. And Dave Foley brought another one of Christopher's movies. Called How to Train Your movies. I forgot.

Called How to Train Your Dragon. I forgot to bring that. Which is nominated for an Oscar, so you could be looking at an Oscar winner in the next few days. What'd you say? Is this guy... How to Train is nominated for an Oscar. I'm not going to win.

You're not going to beat Toy Story. Who is in Toy Story 3 up here, out of curiosity? Me. Really? Yes. My friend, you will not win. we're fighting over here i'm actually going to the academy awards nice dreamworks ask you no pixar asked me congrats christopher but the future the world's your oyster i told you that thank you thank you thank you'm 48, you're 21. I'm just... I'm winning this battle, I guess.

Yes, you are. Fuck, when I was 21, I was a comedian, but I didn't have a career. Go ahead. We need to... You guys need to pick who you're going to play for. So go ahead and go to the audience member whose name tag you like the best and take it from them. We each pick a person. Yeah, pick one name tag you like and go get it from them.

Laura. I want to pick from Laura, too. I want to play from Laura. You got it. That sign is unbelievable. You got to stand up and go get it. No. Oh, get the sign. Yeah, just go get it from me. I want to pick from Lara too. That sign is unbelievable. Stand up and go get it. Get the sign. Yeah, just go get it from her. Alright, well I'm obviously

going to go for someone in the front row. How would that work out? You wouldn't be able to go get that. I want that one. I'm sorry, Chris. This is actually a calculator. I can remember Angie. Colin on his calculator. Oh, and a little picture of me.

That's pretty impressive. I like that. Is that Doug or you? It's me. I thought it'd be a shitty version of you. It's Doug. Okay, that's great. See, you were a little clever.

iPhone shit don't work, man. Because his is, look at his. Hello, my name is like a name tag. No. This guy has a Texas Instruments TS-84 plus silver edition. That's impressive. A calculator.

All right. And Dave wants to play for Angie with the boob? Okay. All right. Oh, I didn't see that. I did see that, but I didn't see that.

I saw the big bosoms. You noticed that there was a big boob that was scribbled all over. No, no. I thought it was a tattoo. That's the worst tattoo I've ever seen. By the way, it's located right next to your head. If you really wanted to. It's all right.

No, it's all right. Do you mind putting it on the table? No, that's okay. That's all right. Everyone can see you. Yeah. Oh, and that's why he has his name Russ on there. Okay.

Jeff Garland putting it together. The name of my podcast, which will be premiering tonight. All right, Jeff, we got to play this game, so turn the riff gun off. Okay. My friend, there is no on off. Set phasers to quiet.

Wait, wait. Doug, there is no on off switch. It's always just on. Fully charged. That's what I love about you.

Wait until they get a load of me. All right. All right. So you have to pick a category. I'm going to give you three choices.

Do we each pick a category? No, Jeff will pick a category. All right. We'll you three choices. Do we each pick a category? No, Jeff will pick a category. All right. We'll go from there. I'll talk you through it. Okay. Try not to ask any questions.

Would you like the category Oscar nominees? That's movies that have been nominated for an Oscar or more this year. Or it was Alan Rickman's birthday yesterday. Great, great actor. was Alan Rickman's birthday yesterday. Great, great actor. So Alan Rickman movies. And then your third choice would be we're coming to the end of Black History Month.

So these would be movies with either Black History or Month in the title. I'll go for Oscar nominees. Okay. This is a movie. Normally, I let you pick a year, but these are all from 2010 because they're nominated for an Oscar this year. Oh, okay.

That's not good. I haven't seen all of them. All right. Well, this one, Leonard says, let's see what he says. He says it starts out promisingly. I think I know it. I think I know. Wait know it. Wait your turn. Name that movie?

It's too early to name it. And then he also says, he also calls it a muddle. M-U-D-D-L-E. And there are 12 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Jeff Garlin? You could start the bidding at 12.

You could go low at 3. And we move down to Chris. Fuck no. So you say name it? Name it. Alright, so I'm going to give you the three names. Alright, Jeff Garlin got it already.

That's correct. I knew it. Inception. Wait. As soon as I heard start, it started off promising. It was all promising. It was all so good. I'm much older than you.

You're not Leonard Mulford. It pays off sometimes. You didn't even give him the actors, too. Now you've got three names. I knew it was Inception. I knew it was Inception. That was awesome. You should have been zero names

But I couldn't Here's the thing It's the magic of ADD Magic of my post-stroke head I had a stroke in 2000 I didn't remember it I didn't remember the title Until after I said three names

Otherwise I would have said The three names would have been Lucas Haas, Michael Caine, and Pete Possilthwaite. The great, late Pete Possilthwaite that is pronounced Possilthwaite. On the show one time I said Possilthwaite and everybody made fun of me saying it was Possilwaite. And I couldn't prove it on the spot because...

How can you? Yeah. There's going to be an app, the Possilthwaite app that you'll be able to say No, it's this Possilthwaite till your mother gets home Alright, here we go

Stupid pun So Dave Foley You get to start us off this time And Jeff, you got the point First person to two points wins It's exciting It's a short show, you guys. I don't know how I cram it all in.

Groucho Marx once went and saw Second City and after the show they said, Groucho, what'd you think of it? He said, make it shorter and make it funnier. There you go. And that note still applies to every show they've done since. Every show anyone's done since. I don't care who you're seeing. Shorter and funnier. Every show anyone's done since. I don't care who you're seeing.

Shorter and funnier. Shorter and funnier always wins. All right, Dave. All right. On this very day that we're taping this, it's Kyle MacLachlan's birthday. Is it? Yes. So movies with Kyle MacLachlan. Motion pictures that feature hit men or women.

Professional assassin movies, essentially. And for a third category, one of the Ernest Goes To movies. Very tricky category, because who's in those movies? I'm going to go with kyle mclaughlin movies okay some people are disappointed i'll try to bring that category back next time i think there's confusion because you went oh and then you applauded you're in you're at odds with yourself you yeah this the audience is a rollercoaster of emotion. Okay, would you like a Kyle McLaughlin movie from 84, 87, or 95?

These are all in the 1900s. I wasn't born for two of those. He brings up a good point. You could do one of the older ones. 84. I'm going to do 84 because I had been born a long time a good point. You could do one of the older ones and mess with him. 84. New 84? Because I had been born a long time at that point. Okay, Kyle MacLachlan is in this movie.

Leonard Maltin gave it one and a half stars. He calls it... He says... Everything he says gives it away. Oh. Oh, he said that there was an alternate unrated version that's longer. I think I know what this is.

You think you know already? I know I do, too. All right, well, let's start the bidding. There's a shitload of names. There's like... Oh, yeah, no, I can't. 84. 20 names.

How many names do you think you can get in Dave It's a Kyle MacLachlan movie From 1984 One and a half stars There's a longer version Unrated version You know what I thought I had it

But I don't So I'm gonna have to go I'll go I'm gonna go Three names Wow I'll go three Interesting style

Yeah Jeff Oh wait Was that the way we're going Yeah names. Wow. I'll go three. Interesting style. Yeah. Jeff? Or wait, was that the way we're going? Yeah. No, that's the right way. Wow. Now if I could do three, I have to do better three, correct? I can't say three also? No, you can go two, one, zero.

Or say name it. And if he names it, he gets the point. If he misses, you get the point. Oh, if I say name it right now? Yeah. Okay, name it. And if he names it, he gets the point. If he misses, you get the point. Oh, if I say name it right now? Yeah. Okay, name it. All right. Your three names are Alicia Witt, Sean Young, and Patrick Stewart.

People in the audience know it. And it was from 1984. Sean Young. Patrick Stewart. If you can't think of it, Jeff Garlin's gonna, that's for the win, this particular play, right?

I'm sorry. You have to get the dude shit. That's not right. I'm just gonna guess. It's the luck of the draw sometimes. I'm gonna guess, because I haven't even seen it, Dune.

That's correct. Yeah. Yeah. That was my guess, too. That was his first act. That's the movie that introduced us to him. Was it? And I think it's underrated.

I kind of like it. Well, you know, it's always bad. I saw that movie the week it came out. And I had not read the book or anything. And they gave you a pamphlet when you went in. To help you understand. To help you understand. And I'm looking up the phrases and everything.

The first thing it says is Wadib. You're like, fuck this. Totally. Totally. I'm going to learn all these weird names and stuff. And I got to look at a vagina floating in a giant aquarium. That's my stage name, by the way. People don't know that.

Vagina aquarium? Vicky Vagina Aquarium. I would totally go. I would see that that okay uh so you got a point dave i did i got a point and since that skirmish was between jeff and dave we'll start with christopher all right let's go later uh you can pick a category between yesterday was jennifer love hewitt's birthday so we got got... Okay. Russ is very excited. So you can do movies that love... Friends call her love.

This is just a thing I want to throw in. Happy birthday to... I think it's pronounced Miko Hughes. It's his birthday today. He's the boy who said, boys have a penis, girls have a vagina, and kindergarten cop.

And who came back from the dead in Pet Sematary. So happy birthday to him. He's still alive. That's good. And then for your third category, any of the ones we've mentioned so far tonight. Whatever you want. Let's do the Oscar.

Okay. I want to try to get a point. Let's do it. This, of course course was from 2010 Leonard Maltin gives it two and a half stars Okay Is there another clue? You're going to get a couple more

Cool cool cool He calls it sober Yeah that's probably not a compliment And he says That the production design is handsome sober? Yeah, that's probably not a compliment. And he says that the production design is handsome. And, uh... Fuck me.

And just for an extra bonus clue, he also at the very end says, it's not a total loss. And this is such a nice thing to say about an Oscar nominated movie. Two and a half stars he gave it. The wardrobe is handsome. There's seven

names. I'll go for five. Four. Four. Four. You can't really trick anybody into bidding less or more.

Dave? Oh, I get to bid? I guess I will bid three. Nice. Jeff? Is it multiple choice at any point? I listened to it, but I can't remember. It just repeats like you just did for two rounds.

So we just keep doing that. You don't really have to learn anything new. Can I say to him, name it? Yeah. You either say name it. I'll say the name to him. No, because he said three names. Oh, okay.

It always goes in the same order. You can sit in a different order next time you come on. I didn't have to bid at all. Okay. You could have said name it to Chris. Oh, I could have said name it. Do you want to take it back and say name it, Chris? Yes, do that.

That was such a plaintive voice in the darkness. It was probably something I might win surprises. You already were an asshole and called me out on three names. I don't know how this works. Alright. Name it.

Alright, here we go. I got clammy hands. Dave's going to win the whole thing. Two and a half stars. Anthony Scher. Or Scher. S-H-E-R is how it's spelled. Either.

It doesn't matter. I don't know who the fuck it is. Geraldine Chaplin. And Art Malick. I said four names. Can I get another one? Oh, that's right. Yeah.

Hugo Weaving. That should do it, right? If you saw it, maybe you didn't see it. Oh, that's another clue. What? I think it's Thweaving. Thweaving? Nominated this year. This year for an Oscar.

Hugo Weaving. Because the other names don't mean anything to me Who was great in The Matrice by the way Was and V for Vendetta That's what I call the whole three parts The Matrice So Dave Foley is going to be our winner So if I don't get it

He automatically hits the point Why? Because you bid and you made a bold bid, and it didn't work out. Sorry, Laura. This is tough love here. Could be a three-way tie. Hugo Weaving. Oh, what movie was he in?

That was nominated. Let me give you one more clue. Sure. One more clue. Sure. I picked it because it's funny that it's an Oscar-nominated film. Because I think his two and a half stars is a little generous. Really?

And it is a total loss. Is it? Well, now I think I... Now you think you know it? Is it up for Best Picture? No. No more questions. It's just nominated for an Oscar.

You see what I'm saying? Like a movie can get like a technical nomination and be a pretty shitty movie. Oh, I don't understand this. We didn't get that. For instance, if Burlesque had gotten nominated for a song, which it didn't even get that, that's how bad that musical was.

It couldn't be one of the five best songs of the year. Keep making jokes so I can think longer on what movie this is. I think we gotta call it. Okay, I have no idea. What do you think it is, Dave? Show off and name it. Yeah, earn your point.

I'm not sure if I know now. What do you think it was? Hugo Weaving? And then it got nominated in a technical category? And then it doesn't deserve to win? Then I didn't know. Audience, tell them what it is. The Wolfman. One person said Alice in Wonderland, but everyone else said...

The Wolfman? It's The Wolfman. The Wolfman. Wolfman is nominated for makeup effects. And will win because it's against Barney's version. Which is horrible makeup. And we'll win because it's against Barney's version. Which is horrible makeup! And Secretariat. I thought that was a real horse.

That was a real horse too, so maybe Secretariat will win. I forget what the other movie is up against. What's the other one it's up against? They only nominate three, but only one of them has effects makeup. Barney's version is just... Wow, they do a great job of making Paul Giamatti look bald and old and Jewish and hairy and all that stuff yeah well so

Dave's Dave Foley's our winner I am by the way can I just say and I just want her to know it I I wanted the bosom girl to win well she did. And she wants... Wait, I think you should sign the other one. I don't... He's only 21. Did you use permanent marker on there? What were we talking about backstage? You're going to be scrubbing all night? Now, the only image I'm going to have tonight

is you scrubbing your tits to get it clean. What is your name? Angie. Where's Laura at? Can you sign it to Elizabeth? That was for her. Awesome sign.

I have a giant kick-ass sign. Yeah, she stole off a bus. Really? That explains that one dip in ticket sales. Jeff is really curious to know if you'll make love to me. I wanted more of a laugh from that. You all just sat silently and made me feel uncomfortable.

You will, you said? She said yes. Okay, here you go. Are you kidding? I just got you laid. I'm happily married. Are you married? You're not married. You're married and you live with your parents? Pull your pants up.

Pull your pants up. Pull your pants up. Pull your pants up. I don't care about the style. I never buy that style. Oh my God, he's signing everything. This is a whole ordeal. I sign mine ahead of time.

Not that anybody gives a shit. I forgot to bring it. Nicely done, Jeff. I think it sold in the hundreds. You didn't learn how to play the Leonard Maltin game, but you signed your DVD. I know how to play. You were great at it.

I had a point. What are you talking about? That's what I just said. You were great at it. I felt sarcasm. I are you talking about? That's what I just said. You were great at it. I felt sarcasm. I felt very high sarcasm. This is what I write on things. H-I-G-H.

You think I'm scarred from working with Larry? No, I'm cool with Larry. All right. Do you have anything to plug besides the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm starting in June, Jeff? People should buy my book. What's it called? Right now it's called My Footprint but the pair back will be out in September with a new

title. I'm not making up. They want a different title so I'm giving them one. Where was Jeff? Who was Jeff playing for? Oh right there. Okay. Dave Foley, do you have anything to plug? I'm planning to read Jeff's book, Footprint. My Footprint.

My Footprint. I'm looking forward to the new title. The name of the new title is Curbing My Addictions. Really? Yeah, they want Curbing the title. They gave me a big advance that didn't sell, so I feel like I owe them. Oh, that's nice. And Dave, you're doing some stand-up comedy now.

I am doing stand-up comedy. So people look for him doing that because that'll be awesome. Later tonight. I think I'm doing some tonight. Well, people won't hear the podcast to be able to get out to your show tonight. But there's people here.

But look for him all over. Yeah, go see him tonight. Later tonight. Oh, you're in Death Ray tonight. I don't know. I didn't think I was. Oh, okay. But you've been doing Death Ray. I got a text from Scott Aukerman that I am in Death Ray tonight. Oh, you're in Death Ray tonight. I don't know. I didn't think I was. Oh, okay. But you've been

doing Death Ray. I got a text from Scott Aukerman that I am in Death Ray tonight. Oh, then stick around and do that because it's next.

I'm supposed to do the blue monkey bar. I'm supposed to do that tonight too. Oh, well. Race around like a New York comic. I know.

Hey, Christopher, what do you have in the can? You're in the Fright Night remake? Yes, yeah. That'll be out in August. Has anyone seen the original? Yes. Are you all really pissed that we're remaking it? have in the can? You're in the Fright Night remake? Yes, yeah, that'll be out in August. Has anyone seen the original? Yes.

Are you all really pissed that we're remaking it? Are you the friend? I'm Evil Ed. I think it's a great movie to remake because lots of it works, but some of it doesn't work. Right, exactly. The first one.

So this is a chance to make it scary for one. It's not very scary, the first one. That's what we're going for. And it's in 3D, so you guys will not see it. No. Fuck it. What the fuck? Are you serious? I love 3D. Are you serious? That's what we're going for. And it's in 3D, so you guys will not see it. No. Fuck it. What the fuck? Are you serious?

I love 3D. Are you serious? That's what happens when DreamWorks makes movies. I love 3D. And who's the main kid? Anton Yelchin is playing Charlie. Oh, Anton. I love Anton.

Anton's amazing. He was on Curb. Yeah, he was great. I love that kid. Oh, that'll be good. And Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell's a vampire. Colin Farrell.

That's a good cast. Thank you. Oh, all right. Hey, Doug. Hello. Can I talk to you? Hey, Doug. You put together a good cast there. Hey, Doug. Well done. Can I be on the show every week?

I think 50% of the people here would love that. That was probably a generous percentage, but yeah. I want to be on it as much as I have to. I'll see you next week. You can be his... All right. I want to be on it as much as I have to. I'll see you next week. You can be his week.

All right, I'll be here on time. Next Tuesday, be here on time. Oh, wait, I can't. I'm going to Miami. Oh, that's me, Jeff. Oh, I'm sorry. Now, since you guys haven't listened all the way through to a podcast, what happens is the two people that lost tonight,

they get a valuable prize as well. Because in their honor for them i will close the show by calling whoever they want me to a shithead so i will name the two shitheads and then the closing theme will play so ladies and gentlemen let's hear it for christopher mince plas jeff garland dave foley there's hardly three nicer guys in the business. My book, by the way, when it comes out in Payback, will be in 3D. It will be in 3D, I want to say. Doug, that was funny. Just keep going.

I'm not going to go out with another zinger. Go. Go, man. It never shuts off. Do your thing. Call somebody a douchebag or whatever it is you do on your podcast. Go. Natalie Portman is a shithead?

No! I say what people... What do you mean, too soon? Do you all know her or something? Too soon. She died this evening, Doug. She's dead.

I'll just have to go back in and dub something else in. Probably Jeff Garland. All right, so Jeff Jeff I want you to know That if you have something hilarious to say After this next one I'm done No I'm done Shut up I'm done Jeff doesn't run in and say a few more things

Before the credits start to roll You know why? That's discouraged. But you probably have the last line sometimes on the show. I don't think I ever have. Really? Yeah, but I'm okay. It's not my show.

I created a weird moment. Why did you do that? I had a funny 3D book joke, and we could have left it at that. The words look like they're coming right at you. I'm protecting you from saying something underneath the theme music that's about to start coming on. No, you will say something. Wait.

You will not let me have the last word. Let me ask you a question. You always do that Shatner. Shatner does that. My question is, if I did speak under your theme music, would I be heard? No, I wouldn't, would I? That's like sort of

an ad in post, right? Well, but you'd kind of be heard or people... Kind of be heard? Yeah. It's not like John Philip Sousa. It's not going to... Oh, so we used to hear

the rumblings of the show while you have theme music plays? Well, the audience is still recorded. Like, if people want to clap along to the theme song, you hear that. Oh, okay. I'll probably talk during your theme song.

If you didn't want me to talk, you should have lied to me. And I do have to take a picture of everybody. Okay. But I'll be talking. So be ready for that. In the picture, I'll be talking. And also, Jeff, I know what the next shithead is, and it's so good that all this buildup is fine.

Like, it's not going to ruin it. Okay, go ahead. This is one of the best shithead choices I've ever heard. Okay. It's crazy inappropriate and hilarious. Okay. I may not talk. Are you ready?

I'll decide. And as always, Elton John's baby is a shithead. Now it's time for the to watch another talkie Eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes it cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies