Doug Loves Movies - Cinefamily X

Episode Date: March 13, 2013

This shorty features a ton of plugs followed by the opening moments of The Benson Movie Interruption of "The Last Stand" at Cinefamily with co-interrupters Ian Edwards and Paul F. Tompkins.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! CineFamily, formerly the Silent Movie Theater, in the Fairfax District of L.A. I'll play the shitty audio from the opening of that show at the end of this mini-boner. Next interruption is of Cloud Atlas. All of Cloud Atlas at CineFamily on Thursday, March 21st. Portland, Oregon. Tickets are still available for my four stand-up shows and one Doug Loves Movies at Helium Comedy Club, March 29th and 30th. Sweet Home San Diego. I'll be at the American Comedy Co. in Sandy

D. on Sunday, April 7th at 420. Phoenix, Arizona. I'll be at Stand Up Live, doing stand-up live on Saturday, April 13th. Two shows, 7 and 10 o'clock. Bring your name tags.

We'll play some Leonard Maltin game at the end of the show. It's what I do at all my stand-up shows. We play some Leonard Maltin. So bring your name tags. Enough plugs. Okay, one more. San Francisco, April 19th and 20th.

Douglovesmovies.com Don't forget, Chris Hardwick will be returning to Dougloves Movies at UCB on Tuesday to attempt to continue his Leonard Maltin game winning streak. I'm bringing in two fierce competitors, so it should be good fun, and it is free to get in. I had a great time doing future and past Douglas Movies guest Anthony Jeselnik's show, The Jeselnik Offensive, Anthony Jesselnik's show, The Jesselnik Offensive, on Comedy Central. And if you missed it, it reruns late Monday at 12.30 a.m. and 3 a.m. Eastern and Pacific.

You know, Tuesday morning, late Monday, early Tuesday. However you want to look at it, check it out. Buy Greatest Movie Ever Rolled at chill.com. Hashtag it G-m-e-r gomer and now please please do try to enjoy my muddy recording from cinefamily and as always traffic to keep zach galifianakis from being on time is a shithead hey everybody Hey, everybody! Thank you for coming to the Benson Movie Interruption of Arnold Schwarzenegger's

Return to the Big Screen. Oh, pal, we've missed him since Around the World in 80 Days. Jesus. Like this movie, why would anybody be surprised that it flopped? Like, I've been a politician for a few years, and now he's back kicking ass again, and nope, why would children care?

And that's, movies now are just sold to children. They're the ones that decide which ones are the best ones except for Lincoln Lincoln made a lot of money Lincoln children

like Lincoln Lincoln's gonna be like what they show in high schools and they just all the kids are like ugh

ugh ugh I really liked it though I've watched it a few times now I'm into it and not just because everything Lincoln says

could have been said by Bane so one of my guests tonight is running a little late but everyone else is on board which means two other gentlemen I hear some music playing anyone who's

in charge of the sound is faint. Sounds like the ghost of the silent movie theater. Just playing a little organ music. Please help me in welcoming my friends Ian Edwards and Paul F. Tompkins! Oh no! Paul is up on the stage. He's going to have to leap down.

Oh, there you go. There you go, yeah. I was thinking, like, Ian just hit me with his triumphant great hands. I'm like, I'm going to get hired

and get a higher status. Yeah, you really came in all popcorn! I got some! I just like how you guys make a show out of what black people normally do i was wondering if you would make that joke first or if i would they were like finally a black man has a microphone and a movie that's gonna to deserve to be yelled at for sure. Wouldn't you think that's an idea if you went and saw something in the Magic Johnson theater?

Yeah. Magic Johnson's like, this is a franchise that I could start yelling me up. Yelling. Telling the characters what they should do. Don't get pregnant! Don't get pregnant. Don't get pregnant? That's what they would yell during a sex scene.

That's in a horror movie. Oh, I mean in a horror movie. I thought you were just advising characters as to their life choices. Like, not even stuff that affects the movie. They're talking about their own personal stuff. Yeah, yeah. Save your money! Brush it false!

Yeah, yeah. Save your money! Brush it false! But that's it. So this is, let's hear it for Ian Edwards, everybody. It's his first, first interaction. I think when I asked him if he knew it, I think his answer was, hell yes. Yeah, totally on board. I'm so excited. He's such a funny dude. And Paula Tompkins is here, everybody. Mic clapping for himself. That's right.

No, that was Ian. I rest the microphone in the crook of my arm. Like an English gentleman shotgun. I stand corrected. like an English gentleman shotgun. I said, correct it. It got so gouty in here all of a sudden. Yes. It's very gouty. Doug, why this movie? Why now? Because when it flopped on its opening weekend, I went, that's going to be in Dollar Theater soon.

Sign it up for the interrupter. That is when I will see it. Because I have not seen it. And you have not seen it. I have not seen it. And Ian has not seen it. No, I haven't seen it. Yeah.

Have you ever seen it? No. Anyone? What? That guy? Yeah. A surprise. A year and a half. A a half people have seen this movie.

I knew this would be one where everyone was like, that's when I'll see it. Because we announced it a few weeks ago. Like some of you also, coming up next, Cloud Atlas. All the holdouts on that movie, which is most people. Unfortunately. I think it's, whether you like it or hate it, it's a thing you should see.

It's something you should experience. No, I did. I love that movie. It won me over by the end of it. Like, during it, I was kind of like, this is bullshit. But then by the end of it, I was like, I want to know what happens in all of these stories. I want to hear all the endings.

And then... Bless you. Bless you again. You know, every actor, Hugh Grant plays like five or six parts in the movie, and he hasn't done that in his entire career. And... At the end end when they do a thing where they show

they say the actor's name and they show all the parts they played and everybody was like you know a bunch of parts where they look kind of like themselves and then oh and they also played an Asian in one quick scene and the end credits are so much fun so that's and we're going to have an intermission we're going to let everybody get off of their asses.

And you're going to need one. Yeah, and reboot, as I like to do. And so there will be a nice break at some point. And hopefully it'll be a cliffhanger-y moment in the motion picture. Hopefully! Of which there are many. Every time a scene ends, it's a cliffhanger, because you're like, why are we going somewhere else and when are we coming back? Is it possible to work out in advance when the intermission will be,

or is that something that's just impossible to do? It depends on the reels. We have to stop at the end of a reel, so hopefully... You can just yank the place out. Everybody come to the high That's an option But also I don't want to watch the whole thing Depend on the spot where the intermission should be But you've seen it

How many times have you seen it? They're pros, I trust them Just twice You don't have like a remote And you just pause the shit I'm like right here I gotta go to the bathroom I think anywhere you stop in

Would be a great place to stop in Even if it's ten minutes in. Intermission! What just happened? Ten minutes. Take a walk and come back for another two hours. The end credits are like ten minutes long. I know, the credits are longer than any regular movie. That's too long. Doug, do you have your season of the movie Interruption all planned out?

Do you have other ones stacked up? What I do is when something comes along that I think is perfect for it, I email CineFamily and say, let's put this on the list. And then it's a matter of how soon it gets to dollar theaters. So my point is that Beautiful Creatures will be done soon. Because that movie took a bit of fat shit. And it looks perfect for our purposes here.

A great way to see it. And then a slightly bigger hit that we'll have to wait another week or two more for, but will be amazing. Lincoln. Is Safe Haven.

Nicholas Sparks does it again. I love him. And never fails to make a perfectly interruptible movie. The Notebook is one of the best interrupted movies ever.

Both those titles that you just mentioned, I can vaguely picture what they are, but the titles are so generic. They almost sound like the titles of movies that are in movies. Like if the car crashes in front of a movie theater and it says, Safe Haven, a Pokemon TV.

What is Safe Haven again? Safe Haven is that guy who looks like Timothy Oliphant. Josh Duhamel. And he lives in a place where no one is safe, no one is haven. And he's a fisherman or some shit, and this girl comes to town, I think she's running away from a violent boyfriend or something, or she murdered somebody, or I don't really care. People in the audience are starting to tell me what it is. Doesn't matter.

She's running and she, you know, he's her safe haven. And I've been told by... I'm going to be honest with you. I tuned out so long ago. You lost me at hello. I just, like, snapped back into our current time stream.

I don't know what Doug is talking about. Yeah, what is he saying? He doesn't even know. What was the other one? Saving Haven and what? Beautiful Creatures. Oh, Beautiful Creatures. Beautiful Creatures.

It's based on a young adult novel, but it's witches instead of vampires, so they thought, this will make a shit ton of money, because Twilight's so successful. I want to see somebody make a sexy movie with, like, a straight-up classic ghost. Like, white sheep with eye holes. It's like a bunch of those Halloween Peanuts ghosts running around around, like fighting and having sex with each other. Might as well, they're wearing sheets already. Right?

That's very modest sex that they have. And there's already holes in them if you're religious. Yes. Hello, Jews. It's really comfortable for me to watch. Yeah, you'll... Hoops are nothing. Masks in general

you might not be too crazy about. Do you like Zorro movies? I miss that night, you know what I'm saying? Are you going to see Lone Ranger? Is that guy, is that a little too masked for your taste? That's on the Indians. That's on the Indians. That's on the Indians. Johnny Jeff.

They're free to stay home that night. They killed so many Indians, a white guy had to play one. I don't want to stall for our third guest to arrive. He can just run in and figure it out as it happens. It's making fun of a movie, right? What if for the rest of the movie, it's like, what is happening? What's going on? I don't know what is happening in this movie.

You got to talk during the movie. On our short statement, we got the exposition done in the first five minutes that I missed. So I have no idea what's happening. Why is Johnny Knoxville there? Do you know the running time of this film? I do not. Should I look it up?

Seven minutes. What? Seven minutes. Don't be that lucky. Isn't it weird that short films get Academy Awards, but when did we ever see a short film ever? We were talking about this on the podcast on Love's Movies. We were?

Yeah. But you never see them anywhere. Yeah, it's weird. Where did they go? These are the questions children ask. So Zach Galifianakis is going to slink in here when he gets the chance. And I also want to point out in the audience, Don't Love Movies, Leonard Mungame, Phenom, Andy Wood is here.

And Bridgestone's Comedy Festival is coming up for a series here in April. It's 420 weekend, so I'm not going to be there. Oh, shit! I've got to be at a state where it's legal i'm not gonna be in washington or colorado i'm gonna be in san francisco but close enough i think it feels pretty legal in san francisco so um thank you for coming that guy that saw Last Stand already, good for you. You're all free to leave. Are you here for revenge? Is that why you're here?

Or did you like it? Yeah, it's a good moment. So guilty. You know, everything I read about it made it sound like it would be fun to watch. What? Yeah. Who was writing such things? You know, bloggers.

Bloggers. There you go. Sports and bloggers. Let's do this. Thank you for coming, and let's try to enjoy the last step Do what you can to enjoy it you guys Make every effort Now it's time for Doug to watch another

Talkie Eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him Cocky there's no room In his heart for you Cause Doug loves Movies