Doug Loves Movies - Cinefamily XI

Episode Date: April 24, 2013

This mini ep features the opening moments of The Benson Movie Interruption of "Beautiful Creatures" at Cinefamily in L.A. with co-interrupters Ben Schwartz, DC Pierson, and Steve Agee.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! which was not particularly beautiful and pretty much lacking any creatures. I'll play the audio from the beginning of that show at the conclusion of this shorty. Since last I spoke, you listened. I got word that Werner Herzog is available to attempt to continue his Leonard Maltin winning streak on next Tuesday's Doug Loves Movies taping at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles. Get there by 5.30, and you might just get to stand in line next to Baseball Jordan. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At Crossword Punk tweeted,

42, the number of times two dick says the N word. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Alan Two Dick Edition. Go two dicks! The next Benson movie interruption at CineFamily is Safe Haven. tweets about movies. Alan Tudyk edition. Go Tudyks! The next Benson Movie Interruption CineFamily is Safe Haven. No one is safe, no one is haven. And that will be on Thursday, May 2nd at 7.30.

Saturday, May 4th, I'll be doing stand-up at the Firebird in St. Louis. The 8 o'clock show is sold out, but seats are available for the 11 o'clock show. Bring your name tags to both because we will play the Leonard Maltin game. And we'll also play the game at the end of my stand-up show at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois,

on Cinco de Mayo at 7 o'clock-o. Now here's the opening of last night's movie interruption show, and as always, the N-word is a shithead. The N-word is a shithead. Thanks, Stuart. Thank you. Hey, everybody! Thank you so much for coming to what for me is possibly the most blind movie interruption

that I've ever done. I saw the trailer for this movie and I said, I'm interrupting that. And I'm not going to, I'm going to read as very little, as little bit about it as I possibly can and just enjoy it with my

friends instead of family. And I guess it got mixed reviews. It did not do well at the box office. No one was like, oh, we love Twilight and Hunger Games

so much that this is good too. Didn't work out for me. But games so much that this is good too. It didn't work out for me. But I've assembled a crack team of gentlemen. No ladies

on this one. I wanted to have a woman on the panel to kind of be like, yeah, but come on you guys. Just because they're witches doesn't mean that they're... but that unfortunately did not work out. But I did get three hilarious but also sensitive gentlemen to come and help interrupt beautiful creatures. Please welcome my friends D.C. Pearson, Ben Schwartz, and Steve A. G.

Let's watch the crowd! Take that one over there. Sit in the ones and twos, man. Or you can sit on three if you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a number of pillows now. I'll switch off. DC on five.

On five. Four or five. In that range. I tripped immediately. Steve's a seven. No, no, I'll go for eight. I'll be eight. Steve's a seven. No, no, I'll go for eight. I'll be eight. Who's at the piano?

Elton John's at the piano. Matt Damon as Liberace's son. Oh my god, I can't wait for that. There's no piano accompaniment tonight. Beautiful Creatures has a soundtrack. Can you scream the Liberace cable thing here? What's it called? Beyond the Candelabra?

Yeah. Oh, it isn't. Yes. Behind? Behind? I think it's behind. Beyond the Candelabra in his behind.

Beyond Thunderdome. In between the Candelabra hand. Beyond Thunderdome. In between the candelabra. That's Thunderdome. So anyway, let's hear it for Ben Schwartz, everybody. He's here. He's got a microphone. He's ready to talk smack about beautiful creatures.

Can't wait, man. Yeah? You have not seen this movie? I have not seen it. I saw a trailer whilst seeing other films a while back. But that's as much as I've seen. Okay. I know it seems like there's some form of magic in it.

Yeah. Great. The working title was The Bitches of Eastwood. That was crazy, man. DC Pearson is here, everybody. Author of the young adult novel Crab Kingdom. Correct.

And I believe Beautiful Creatures is a young adult novel. True. They just went into a Barnes & Noble and pulled the camera at a book for two and a half hours. Did you read it? I have not read it. I have read very little modern young adult literature. Right, you're writing that shit.

Why would you read it? Right, it's ridiculous. It's just like, you know, no stand-ups ever watch other comedians. Why would you read it? Right. It's ridiculous. It's just like, you know, no stand-ups ever watch other comedians. Why would you ever experience the art that you're doing? I'm barely paying attention to you right now. Still thinking about that Bitches of Eastwick joke. That was solid.

And Steve A.G. is here, everybody. Oh, that's for radio fans. That is weird. Interesting. And you've never seen this movie. I didn't even know this was a movie until you called me today. Yeah, you thought that we were going to interrupt Heavenly Creatures? Yeah. The people of Jackson?

I was like, that's a good movie though, Doug. Interrupted to say, don't kill that child. Branching out into the classics. Next week we're doing Lawrence of Arabia. Nice. And free lemonade for everybody. Wow. I love everyone that laughed at that. Because lemonade does... is prominent in Lawrence of Arabia. Is that true? Lawrence wants his goddamn lemonade.

There's thirst-fleshing in the desert. Somebody should do a remix where a pitcher of lemonade bursts through. Who made it here? And Lawrence is like, that will not do. And it goes off into the desert. They lost a few people on that. So we're going to interrupt this movie now, and thank you all for

attending another sold-out show here at CineFamily. Get your tickets, listeners, to this part of the Douglas Movies podcast. Get your tickets to see Safe Haven. The guy in the audience just shot a load

into his... I don't know where he shot it, but look out, everybody. He's led into a Safe Haven DVD. Yeah. It sounded like you're Mr. Belvedere sitting on his balls or something. Oh, ha ha! Yeah, where Sean Saban is like,

Oh! Oh! Wesley. I forget the date now, but it's coming up. You'll figure it out. And then next one after that is The Call. We're going after all the great movies of 2013. And thank you guys once again for coming.

Oh, one quick thing. Before the movie starts, we're going to show you some weird trailer from Santa Family that will creep you out. This is probably not for emetophobes. And then we're also going to show you five or six, I'm not sure the total number, but I did some films with the nice folks at Five Second Films. And so you're going to see a five or six Five Second Films festival. Yeah, it's going to take less than a minute. And I think I'm in all the ones that they brought tonight. And I hope you enjoy them.

And I hope you look them up on YouTube and give them lots more hits. And I think they're going to have a Kickstarter soon for their movie, I'm guessing. Who doesn't have a Kickstarter? I saw a Kickstarter the other day. A guy wanted to catch a bus down to the grocery store

and get some food. I was like, I support that project. 30 days to get $2.50 for bus fare. The lights are dimming or I need my medical marijuana for my glaucoma. Please enjoy everything

that's about to happen. Eyes of gold is viewing prowess Please enjoy everything that's about to happen.