Doug Loves Movies - Clark Collis, Joyelle Johnson and Carmen Lynch

Episode Date: July 3, 2020

Doug welcomes Clark Collis, Joyelle Johnson and Carmen Lynch to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Doug Benson here. A new podcast with two white guys named Doug is not what the world needs right now. But Wide World of Dougs is going to introduce you to Dougs of all races, creeds, and colors. My friend and fellow comedian Doug Mallard. That's me. And I are going to meet all the best Dougs to prove that there are some great Dougs in the world and some I'm sure you will want to call friend. There are some great Dugs in the world, and some I'm sure you will want to call friend.

And we'll always have some of the funniest women we know sitting in on the conversations as well. Because nobody knows any women named Doug, but women named Doug are always welcome. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Doug hates candy wrappers, green and maybe sticky seeds. With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. Hey, hey, hey everybody My name is Doug and I love Masks This is Doug Loves Movies Coming to you once again during hard times for another Homes Alone edition.

It's Thursday, July 2nd, 2020. My guests today are Clark Collis, Joyelle Johnson, and Carmen Lynch. Hey, everybody. Hi. Hey, boom. Hi. Hey, Boone. Hi. I just feel like everybody feels like they need to be in sync, in harmony, like the Three Stooges, when I have to introduce everybody all at the same time. Let's say hello individually and alphabetically, starting with first-time guest,

senior writer at Entertainment Weekly, is Clark Collis. Hey, Doug. How's it going? It's going pretty good. I don't know why I said it in that fashion. I apologize. It's just, it's the thing you say, because it's like, you know, it's like we're talking on the phone. It's old school phone chat. Yes.

We're going to listen to you i should say that you know long time fan um and uh when i thought when i dreamed of appearing on doug doug loves movies uh i had an idea it might be in a comedy club for instance or some other sort of similar venue not sitting on the couch in my mother's house in south wales where where you know other sort of similar venue. Not sitting on the couch in my mother's house in South Wales, where, you know, my sort of childhood home, with my 90-year-old mother sitting six feet away from me. That wasn't quite the... Hello, Mum.

You want to say hello? Aw. Well, she does not want to say hello. I'll apologise right now for the language, because I've got some really saucy guests on the show today. I've got my earphones in, so we're good. Oh, okay. So she's just going to hear just your half, your fourth of the conversation.

I've told her that's the gold, basically. The rest is just not worth listening to at all. That's the gold, basically. The rest is just not worth listening to at all. So that's great, though, that you're with your mother and you can do most of what, you know, you're doing a lot of work remotely, I imagine, because the entertainment world is still churning. Yes, yes.

It's a busy world reporting. It's pretty much a 24-hour job reporting on where Tenet is currently, watching where Christopher Nolan's's film tenant is being released or what is being released is now like essentially like watching the stock market it's like a 24-hour position uh you've just got to yeah there's like on an hour by hour basis there's this big uh like you know show business you know movie chessboard that's got that and mulan and Fast and Furious and James Bond, all these movies that, like, just they're, you know, it's more like, you know, it's about time that the movies were as fluid as people tend to be.

That's true. But it's also, like, we have to report every time it moves. And I'm not making light of this, but they say, no, we're not going to release it next week. We'll release it the week after. And you just think, are you watching the news here? I don't think people are going to be going to the movies in two weeks' time.

I mean, I hope I'm wrong. I hope it's all cleared up by that. Some people say that it's just going to disappear, but I'm not entirely sure that it is. Yeah, I think that they're going to disappear but i'm not entirely sure that it is yeah i think that uh they're going to be uh caught off guard if they uh you know keep just moving the uh it's like the airlines when they keep delaying a flight by an hour it's just like just say it it's not gonna we're not gonna go today you know no no i i agree um but, conversely, they're starting to make, you know,

they're starting to make the new Jurassic World. They're starting to make the new Matrix movie in Germany. And I understand why they're doing this. But it's like, don't you want to release some of these films? It's like buying someone a birthday present when they haven't unwrapped, like, the one you've just bought them. You know, it's sort of thinking too far ahead almost, I think. Yeah, and besides, who wants to see a Velociraptor on a Zoom call?

That is true. Yeah. Well, thank you for being here. My pleasure. Let's say hello to Joyelle Johnson, who's returning to this show. How's it going, Joyelle? It's going fantastic. I just want to make sure Clark's mama ain't feeding him no answers over there, okay?

He might be on standby on Google. I don't trust it. But yeah, no, happy to be here and happy to be talking to you, spending some time. Hey, buddy. I think you won the game portion of the show last time i i uh i didn't win last time i was robbed oh okay i mean i gotta go controversy there was controversy the last time there was controversy and i we need to know are we doing full titles or are we not doing full titles what are the rules i think we'll have to uh leave that up to our uh our third guest joining us for

maybe her third or fourth time on the show her new album vertically obese is out now it's carmen lynch hi so excited to be here it's been a while since i've done this yeah it's been a little while since probably the last time you were on might have been at the grammar c theater at the grammar c so i'm gonna say uh no full titles because i don't i won't remember the full title name either so yeah it's's really tough when all these movies keep coming up that have these numbers and colons, and it just gets way too complicated. So I'm trying to go easier on people because it is a rough time right now, so the last thing people need is me saying, no,

it's not a fellowship of the ring. It's the fellowship. Darn. And that's one I would have gotten to get it together. Carmen. I'm trying. I'm not cheating. I'm not looking at my phone. I'm not talking to my parents. They're in the kitchen. So I'm not, I'm good. I'm not cheating. Oh, so you're locked in with the family as well? I'm in Virginia, but I'm going back to New York next week. I haven't been home since March, so I'm kind of excited. Oh, yeah, that'll be a nice change of scenery for you in this thing.

And the way I understand it, and Joyelle, you can weigh in as well. And Clark probably knows this too. It seems like New York City, really, everybody did such a great job of locking down that it's, they're in better shape than a lot of places are right now. I mean, fingers crossed. Yeah. I mean, it says a man who's 5,000 miles away from New York City. But yeah, I think so. But it's just, I don't know. It's just like, you know, if you want to, if you want to make God laugh, tell him or her your plans, you know. I'm not, I mean, Entertainment Weekly, we have two offices,

we have two main offices in New York and LA and neither of them are occupied. One of the weird things we found is that we can put a magazine out remotely, but we actually don't know how to then send that magazine off to people that we've interviewed or whatever. Someone was like, could you send an interview? Could you send a magazine to our client? Are you interviewed? And I'm like, I have no idea how to do that because usually I would just walk across the office and stick it in an envelope and then stick it in the mailbox. Um, it's just a weird sort of fluke of technology that we can we can cause like two million issues of a magazine to be printed

but i can't like send it to anybody um but i'm not coming but basically there's a long-winded way of saying i'm not coming back to america until like there's at least an office for me to go to and i'm not even sure that's going to happen this year. I mean, I've got no insider knowledge, really. But I know the New York Times have said, like, you know, people don't have to come back and work until at least January, which seems like a long time away. But, you know, maybe that's what's going to happen. Yeah, we just don't know.

That's the tricky part. Joyelle, what's the word on the street there in New York? Hey, Clark, stay in Wales. Carmen, stay in Virginia. Doug, stay in LA or Texas. Where are you? I'm in California, but I can't. I'm on a no-fly to New York.

If I wanted to go to New York right now, I think they'd make me quarantine as soon as I got there um yeah no I because it seems like things are gonna go back up in New York because I've been out you know specifically going to like the grocery store things like that but people are just out trying to have their margaritas in the sunshine and God keeps telling us to go inside there was a hail storm in Brooklyn on Monday. And I think that's God saying, stay y'all's asses in the house. Yeah. Margaritas, margaritas taste fine inside too.

They sure do. Girl, a bottle is real much cheaper. I'll take a whole bottle of Jack Daniels and stay my black behind in the house. So I suggest everyone else do as well. Yeah. I really, it's a shame that, you know, that it seems like we have to go, you know, get back to as locked down as possible to stop this thing. It's, you know, and people don't want to lock it down. So it's, it's just creating a really, really weird situation.

Just reminds me of all the disaster movies i grew up on in the 70s where there was like three or four white men that made a few bad decisions and then all these innocent people have to perish yeah yeah i just think how every zombie movie starts with the the virus and then then we get here so i've just been thinking about that as well yeah and like in jaws they make a big deal out of closing the beach because you know uh you know they say you should close the beach because of sharks and then they do close the beach after one person dies and this is a much this is much bigger and they're still arguing

about whether or not the beach should be open it's a really good point yeah it's really weird it's also interesting how especially films like every single film uh seems to have more resonance regardless like i'm sure if i was to watch like earnest goes to camp there would be a reason why that film like resonated with me 10 times stronger than it would a year ago because you see movies with you know where there's like one or two people in a hollow you know one or two people on a desert island or whatever and you're like oh like that's like me and then you see people with you see movies with big crowds and you're like oh that's what we used to be and it's almost like no matter what dumb movie it is,

I'm just sitting there weeping, you know, because there's either too many people or too few or something or a dog or whatever. The dog's not that good. It's a constant perspective check to be watching these things. And, you know, that's why, you know, I make a big part of this show now about you know just discussing the kinds of things we're watching and what we would recommend for you know there's

everybody's kind of reacting differently but some people want stuff that's very comforting or nostalgic and other people want you know stuff that's new to take their – everybody's got a different approach. Is there anything – let's just go through and I'll ask all of you, starting with whoever feels like they have a movie to recommend first. I have a movie to not recommend. Oh, okay. Well, we'll start off with this is something this is joyelle johnson's this is even more exciting i watched the lovebirds last week. Ew. It already sounds bad. Yeah, it was pretty

bad. And I was rooting for it because we had all the ingredients. We have Issa Rae and her beautiful black skin on the screen. We got an interracial colored relationship, but it was just too zany. It was just like, what? I don't understand what's happening

at this point. It kind of went off the rails that carmen that's the one uh kumail nanjiani is uh it's oh yeah and it's very much like uh like uh scorsese's after hours or out of towners or something where it's a couple that just gets kind of ensnared in all this criminal activity or like date night, you know, it's just one of those movies where, you know, just all these weird incidents keep happening and they're, they're two very likable actors, but yeah, I agree with Joyelle. It's just like, it's frantic. And at one point,

and at one point Issa Rae chooses, you chooses you know it's a it's supposed to be a funny scene it makes no sense because they're they're uh they get choices of what they're what kind of torture they're going to endure from some bad guys and they're like would you like do you like some hot grease poured on your face or would you like to be kicked by a horse and kumail gets kicked by a horse and then Issa goes, I want the hot grease. Like she doesn't want to be kicked by the horse, but there's no way she would pick the hot grease to the face over getting kicked by a horse.

Yeah. And I was like, why are these the choices? What was this brainstorm like? I was like, this, weed wasn't involved. Like I can tell when movies like weed was involved, I'm like, this was a different drug that was involved in the brain. The bad guy in that movie is just a crazy lady who just sitting around thinking of, well, we have a barn and a kitchen. That's two ways we could torture them.

Yeah. You say that seems like, you say it seems like an unlikely choice between being, you know, hot oil or a horse. And I'm not saying that my schoolboy days were quite like that, but we had a really strange art teacher. And to fully understand this, you need to know that children's sneakers in Britain, certainly in the 70s, were called daps. That was like a sort of like a nickname for kids sneakers. And like plimsolls, you know, like the kind of sneakers that kids would do gym in. And if you were bad, the art teacher would give you a choice between

Roger the Ruler and Donald Dapper. And Roger the Ruler was being, was being hit over your knuckles with a ruler, like a wooden ruler. And Donald Dapper was being smacked on your ass with like his sneaker. Right. But which is weird in itself, but also he had anthropomorphized, you know what I'm saying? but also he had anthropomorphized, you know what I'm saying.

He had given human characteristics to these two implements of corporal punishment. Roger the Ruler, a, you know, a male ruler, and Donald the Dapper, another male, you know, plimsoll. It was very weird indeed. And then you had to sort of, as a, I was like nine, you had to sort of, I was like nine. You had to choose with which thing you would be beaten.

I guess I'm revealing too much on this show. Which one did most people pick? I think they would pick the one they didn't choose the time before, you know, because you're like, well, I remember that. Yeah. Let's change it up a little bit this time. Well, if your ass still hurts from the dapper,

you've got to put the ruler, yeah. For sure. Yeah, it was also that guy. I'm taking in Roger the Ruler. Yeah. That guy was later arrested for flashing people on. Oh, lovely. I know.

It was quite a, this was a private school that my parents were paying people for me to attend. So there you go. And that's why Britain should not be in charge of anything. Okay. Just in case they can't beat you at a private school,

where can they beat you? That's true. That is true. There you go. Sorry, I think I've brought things down a minute. There you go. I'm traumatized now. I'm kidding. Is there something you can recommend, Carmen? Well, I like to watch

sad things. I don't like to watch happy love stories because I don't know why. I guess I'm just not... I don't know. I do better when I watch depressing shit. So I watched The Pharmacist. It was about opiate addiction.

It's not funny. It's not funny, but it was good. Sorry I laughed. Is it a documentary? It's a documentary about a pharmacist. This man was amazing. It was a pharmacist and his son, I'm not giving anything away really.

It was in the first hour that his son died from whatever that drug is. i can't think of the name of it right now but um he notices that it becomes this you know this horrible addiction and his pharmacy all these kids come in and and uh have these fake prescriptions of uh whatever that drug is can anyone remember the big opiate opioid oxy oxy oxy cotton that's it yeah and so that's just lovely uh lovely to watch you know you just learn i like to watch documentaries you know so there you go that's my uh two cents it's called the pharmacist the pharmacist okay and uh where where did you uh watch it i watched it here with my parents i mean what uh what streaming services oh netflix netflix oh i was wondering why you asked like you

really cared who i saw it with but yeah what were you eating at the time my parents just got netflix like a week ago when i came down to see them and, uh, and they still forget they have it. They're like, well, let's watch something on NBC. I'm like, you have Netflix now, you know, there's a lot, but they don't know how to pick. They don't know how to pick something. Just, uh, you know, just point them to season one of, uh, floor is lava. I don't know that one oh it's so dumb it's like it's a game show where the the set the floor is like oh yes yes yes yes i've heard about

that okay yeah what i'm gonna i'm gonna hook them on love is blind or the 90 day fiance or one of those oh my god there's a uh a movie right now uh uh what's his name clark gasper noe gasper noe yeah yeah he's got a movie called love that's on netflix now and it starts off with like full-on graphic pornographic uh sexy like without even credits there's no credit just go in that sounds like that sounds like outlander i could see now lander there's so much sex in it i was watching it with my boyfriend's mother and i thought i was watching porn it's wild it's wild how dirty netflix is getting yeah well there's three stars but still yeah yeah there's that thing 365 days it's got like zero percent on rotten tomatoes and it just looks like it's a like a soft core porn movie why didn't they just call it a year

i probably because uh numbers that come before letters in the alphabet and if you have a movie it begins with a number uh you're at the very beginning of everybody's list of movies when they go to buy yeah it's like a new strategy to have a to have like a movie because it's a letter a so you're not buried in the alphabet of movies they They also very specifically wanted you to know that it wasn't a leap year. That's the thing. They didn't care which year you thought it was as long as it wasn't a leap year.

Take a decade, two or three of those years might not be in play here. Okay, so Joyelle says don't watch Lovebirds. Carmen says The Pharmacist, especially if you're missing if you had an Oxycontin habit and you want to relive that. Yeah.

If you want to see what his name went through, what's the name of the guy? Limbaugh, Rush Limbaugh. What do you think, Clark? What's the uh i was gonna say maybe i'm misunderstanding this game but i think i might think something that people do actually want to watch um or some people but i uh i'm plugging my own stuff here really but um it's the 10th anniversary of edgar wright's film uh sc Pilgrim versus the world. And I wrote an oral history of it for Entertainment Weekly.

And obviously, you know, before I started doing that, rewatched it. And it's just a blast, I have to say. And it's got this, you know, then, well, still young, but then very young cast of up-and-coming stars, Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Chris Evans, who's particularly excellent. Brie Larson, basically half the MCU are in this film. It's very well cast. I would be hard pressed to,

it's one of those films you kind of have to see to quite get the hang of. It's, it's got a lot of music in it. It's about, you know, Michael Cera plays this guy who's in a Canadian of music in it. It's about, you know, Michael Cera plays this guy who's in a Canadian indie rock band. It's funny because right at the start, he kind of has a high school, he's in his 20s and he has a high school girlfriend and he sort of cheats on the high school girlfriend

with an Amazon courier played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead. And you're like, well, I know Michael Cera's, you know, goofily charming, but how is he going to dig himself out of this hole to make himself, you know, the audience embrace him. But, but, but you kind of do. And it's, you know, it's, it's inspired by video games and comic books, and it's a graphic novel adaptation. And it's also a sort of a superhero movie. And it's just a lot of fun. But also I had the opportunity, I mean, so that's my recommendation, but also I had the opportunity to talk to the cast. And it was, you know, some movies, you know,

people aren't falling over themselves to talk about Anaconda, for instance. J.Lo's not like getting on the phone to talk about that time she battled a giant snake. But Scott Pilgrim is a movie that didn't do that well at the box office, but that everybody involved in it really loves. And so, you know, there was a week where, like, Jason Schwartzman is calling me, and Michael Cera, and Chris Evans.

But because it's in the evening, I might have had a couple of drinks before a couple of these conversations, because, you know, these interviews are set up sometimes on short notice, and I'm in the U.K. And also, as I'm demonstrating amply now, I am talking way too much on those occasions when I can't be more serious.

I've had about 15 things I've wanted to say during this. You'll have to apologize. Because to be honest, Doug, when you emailed me saying, do you want to be on the show? I'm like, I will talk to anybody. Like three months ago, I would have been honored to be on Doug Loves Movies now I just want to talk to anybody uh and so you know what I'm saying is Jason Schwartzman knows a lot more about my personal life and sort of problematic relationships in the past three years than anybody else on the face of the planet uh and uh so this

is really i've come on to apologize to jason schwartzman uh should he be uh oh yeah he'll listen to this oh sure sure you've had edgar as a you've had edgar as a as a as a guest duck right i'm edgar wright the director well yeah that's what i was going to say first of all i love the expression amazon courier in association with Mary Elizabeth Winstead because she's tall and she worked for Amazon. And then also, when it came out in the summer of 10 years ago, I was a huge fan, you know, from opening weekend. I believe it opened against Expendables movie. And that's how I feel about those movies.

They're perfectly named. But in the case of Scott Pilgrim, I was just like, just blown away by, you know, everything about it. And so I talked a lot about it on social media. And Edgar Wright reached out to me because he's, you know, sad that his movie that, you know, turned out so great just wasn't really received because people didn't know what it was. And yeah, and we became friends. almost maybe there's one or two that I haven't yet, but I've met almost everybody in Scott Pilgrim through Edgar and they are all just wonderful, awesome people. And keep seeing them all get more and more popular and famous as time goes

on. Yeah. It's a good time. Sorry about that. Joyelle and Carmen Clark and I had to catch up about it. Yeah, I actually went to grab some food and I'm back, so I'm good. I cooked a whole pie. But that is always a great recommendation to people to check out Scott Pilgrim versus the world. And there's something else. In addition to your oral history, Clark, isn't Edgar teasing that something else is about to happen with Scott Pilgrim?

He was saying, well, to start with, they were going to re-release it in August. And they may still do. In the same way that anything can happen in the next month, it is possible they may be re-released in Scott Pilgrim in August, but definitely they are planning to do so at some point, even if I guess the 10th anniversary celebration re-release becomes an 11th anniversary re-release. I have no idea.

But yeah, they're also talking about maybe doing, they're a bit cagey about it, but maybe doing some sort of like animated, like another version of the story that was animated this time around, which people got quite excited about, yeah. All right. Yeah, I mean, obviously it would lend itself to animation

having been based on a graphic series of graphic novels in the first place. All right. So let's, you know, take some pills and watch a double bill of the pharmacist in Scott Pilgrim. We're not the lovebirds. Turn it off. Yeah.

No lovebirds. Lovebirds are out. But, you know, also it's on Netflix. So if you like Issa Rae and Kumail, I would say still give it a watch. Yeah. We got to go to a brief. Sorry? I was just going to say, I could also recommend a documentary,

I Am Not Your Negro, James Baldwin. Oh, of course. Black Lives Matter. James Baldwin. Yeah. Clark, talk about that for 20 minutes. Go. Oh, great, because I need to go shower. So go ahead.

I was just glad you didn't cut her off. So no, we did not have time. That would not have been a good look all around. Sorry, you wasted all your time on lovebirds. We could have been talking about Black Lives Matter, but lovebirds need some more attention. But yes, I'm going to go to a commercial break right now. And when we come back, we're going to play a game

people are talking about from coast to the same coast. They're not talking about that much. We'll be right back. We're back. And it is time to play a game inspired by the popularity function on the IMDB website and app. It's called, this game is called Weird Algorithm.

Because, did you know this, Clark, that, or any of you for that matter, that if you go on IMDB and you click on view the entire cast of a movie, it'll show you the list of everybody it's in the movie you know basically listed as they are in the credits in the movie

they're alphabetically or billing or whatever and you can click on a thing that says no let's see the same list of people from this movie but in order of their popularity according to IMDB's algorithm which i assume is just searches on imdb for things well that's just crushing i mean what kind of psychopath would pick that up not the gang yeah oh that's the thing is uh it's sort of like you know i'm loath to tell actors about it because i feel bad for them looking themselves up and seeing how they rank but it's so it's all so random and silly and uh like this business isn't hard enough yeah exactly i mean it's and those rankings change all the time right right? Like the number one person changes what,

like every day or week or something like that? Oh yeah. It's all depending on like, you know, things that are going on in the news and in entertainment news, pop culture in general will shift these things. And as you'll see, like these are all ones that I looked up today, so they should be up to date, but it's still, it's still very, very strange algorithm. So it gives everybody a chance. I'll name a movie that I'll go to each of you and ask you to name an actor or

actress you think would be the, you know, the most popular person in that movie today. And then who, if you get the, if you name the top person you get three points second person two points third person one point and after three rounds whichever one of you has the most points is the winner nice any questions oh i'm ready i'm just wondering like if you commit a crime like you give Me Too'd or something, does that make your popularity grow up? I'm sure it does.

Like, if you're trending on Twitter? I thought you meant if I commit a Me Too crime in the course of playing this game. I was like, what? Come on, Jordan. He's there with his mother. Come on. He's got a Raja.

Just because he's all the way over there in in south wales you gotta be careful i said it's my mother all you know all you've heard is a muffled female voice in the distance you know i don't you know someone someone is tied up nearby we know that much that's true yay okay um so clark you're up first because we're going to go alphabetically, but each of you will get a chance to go first. Plus, you can share answers. It's a sharing game. If you all agree, you can just share it.

That's huge. Share the victory. I'm going to say whatever Clark says, probably. Just kidding. Okay. So, the first movie is going back a little bit. It's from 1978, and it's called The Wiz. Yes!

Big screen adaptation of the stage version of The Wizard of Oz called The Wiz. What do you think, Clark? Who in that movie do you think would justify would be the I'm worried that I'm going to name the cast of a completely different movie. Then I will be basically racist towards black movies and they'll be like, do all black

movies look the same to you? That's the cast of this movie, of Car Wash. This is like Tyler Perry. i'm genuinely terrified but this is with this is with michael jackson in the wits right right um he is he is i can confirm that he is indeed in it well in that case i'm going to say michael jackson i mean just even though even though you know he seems like a, I mean, I'm not making a joke. He seems like somebody people would know. Indeed. Most popular now?

Most popular trending like right now? Yeah, today. But, you know, like I said, this algorithm, it's really unpredictable. You're going to, I think whenever I give you the answers, there's always some shocking information. Okay, then I'll just add to the fun and just say Diana Ross. I mean, she's Dorothy. Yeah, let's go for that. I mean, I feel like Clark is correct, but I'm just going to mix it up a bit.

Okay, it's a smart play, I think. I mean, I know how it's going to work out. So I really can't tell you what kind of play I think it is. Well, those are the only two I remember in the movie. So I'm going to go with Michael Jackson. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Can I change my answer? You sure can. Because she was just trending the other day.

So I'm going to say Lena Horne. Oh, yeah. I think she celebrated her birthday recently. It was her birthday the other day. I'm going to say Lena Horne just because. It was so funny, too, because when someone's passed away and then it's been a few years and then they have a birthday and people are like happy birthday lena horn like when they don't throw the word laid in there i could start to get i got like almost excited like

wait i thought lena horn was dead like that's awesome if she's not dead and then of course she is dead all right yeah exactly meanwhile olivia deavilland is 104. I was just going to say, she's still alive. That's crazy. She's like 104. 104. They show a picture of her when she was, you know, probably 80. Yeah, there's no current. Yeah. Okay. So, you know, this always shakes out in a really interesting way. I'm just grateful that there weren't any roles for white people in this movie because unfortunately they'd probably, you know, be number one. Nipsey Russell played the Tin Man.

He was at number nine. And then Ted Ross is the lion, is number eight. Quincy Jones appears briefly playing an organ in that place they go to at the end. Emerald City. Emerald City. Yeah, he's sitting there playing. He's like the musician at Emerald City, so it's a little cameo for Quincy. Yeah, he's in the movie.

Yeah, yeah. And then sixth place is Lena Horne. So pretty good ranking considering she hasn't been with us for a while. This is another weird one in fifth place uh iman the fashion model she's like an extra in it or something nice like she's just like a cool looking person probably probably also in the emerald city yeah i bet she was there yeah yeah and then um diana ross comes in at number four diana ross would not appreciate coming in at number four absolutely not

yeah no she will be rolling over imdb if mr ross gets a gets the knowledge of that wait till she hears that the other Supremes were higher than her. What? Florence. No, but points need to be awarded for those who said Michael Jackson, because he did come in number three. So who said Michael?

Clark said Michael. I said Michael as well. Carmen said Michael. So you each have one point, but Joyelle is close behind with no points. Here's another weird one. Ranked second in the Wiz, someone who is a guest at Aunt Emma's party and is uncredited. Wow.

Robin Givens. Nice. Whoa! That's a deep cut, baby. Wow. Robin Givens. Nice. Whoa! That's a deep cut, baby. Wow. How weird is that? And then this is actually pretty cool and a nice sign for his legacy. Number one out of all the gifted and amazing people in The Wiz, number one is The Wiz himself, Richard Pryor.

Hi! I forgot he was in it. Dur dur dur. Yeah, cause he just shows up at the end and he's behind the curtain. But there you go. So that's round one. We got two more rounds to go.

All right. If all of the films are blaxploitation musicals, I'm going to be frantically trying to lose for the next one. Well, you know. Let me assure you of that. All I do is sit around trying to think of ways to make Joyelle look good. And so. And I don't succeed. I know, right? You're saving it for the end joyelle i mean come on is there anybody less likely to beat me than the white man in the south

of wales like i was hoping for chariots of Fire or some Merch and Diver. Anything with Emma Thompson or Anthony Hopkins. Well, I think this might be better for you, this next one. But Joyelle does get to go first this time. And it's the motion picture with an exclamation point at the end of the title. It's so exciting. Mama Mia. Mama Mia. Mama Mia.

Also based on a Broadway musical. So you guys know what the theme is here. Yeah, I'm going to come out the gate and say Meryl Streep. That's fair. She is, I assume she's the mama. Who are they referring to in that title? I think it's just an expression. I mean, there are a lot of old white women in that movie, but. Oh, I guess maybe it's the, maybe it's the daughter is saying, mama mia.

What have you done, mom? Why did you have sex with three guys in one weekend? God, I can't remember who the guys in that are. I know one of the dudes. Just imagine some bad singing. Some actors actually singing. That just makes me think of Russell Crowe for some reason. Yeah, the women in Mam mama mia are all songbirds and then the men are famous actors who are willing to try all right i well i can't remember their names so that's not gonna help um so i'll say you know what i'll say meryl streep because i can't i

can't remember those guys okay one want to name one of the men. What do you think, Clark? I'm gonna... I actually went to see Romney or Broadway with my mother, who I'm pretending is here. Not a young girl tied up. I'm gonna say, because I think it would have amused you to see her at number one,

I'm gonna say Christine Baranski. Yes. Oh, yeah. That would amuse me a great deal. And she should be a pretty popular figure right now because of the good fight, which I hear is great, but I never even watched A Good Wife, so I feel like I can't catch up at this point.

But wouldn't Meryl be number one, in all honesty? If my life depended this point. But wouldn't Meryl be number one, in all honesty? Like, if my life depended on it, I would say Meryl, but I'm not going to change my mind. I'm going to stick with Christine Baranski. You're going to lock it in? Yeah. Christine Baranski and Meryl Streep for Joyelle and for Carmen?

Yep. All right. I only wrote down to number four but i thought it was interesting because four is stellan skarsgård oh great actor not a great singer number three and his singing in this and the sequel, Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again, which I think that title is just in reference to this man, is Pierce Brosnan. Oh, yeah, Remington Seal.

That's the only one I know. Yeah. Yeah. You took my heart away. You made me feel so good. That's pretty good. It was brutal. But coming in at number two, Meryl Streep.

Yes, she was just trending the other day as well. So that's two points for Joyelle and two points for Carmen for that. And number one is of course what i was speculating is the title character played by uh amanda cypher i was um not saying her name correctly did you well that's that's the thing about her is that i think she just lets it slide when people say it one way or the other. Like, I don't think she corrects people ever. Because I just remember always wondering which one it really is. Do you know, Clark? Do you know how it's pronounced?

I do not. I do not. I do not. You've never had to interview her and say it out loud? No. And also, you actually don't. One of the great things about interviewing people is you actually don't have to say their names on the most part because because I wouldn't come in and so so so is that oh you're interviewing with Doug I'm like I wouldn't be

coming in going hello Doug Benson my name's Clark Gullis how's it going you know it's not really it doesn't really come up that much um Amanda Seafrage I don't know I really don't know I have the confidence of somebody that really has no idea I remember I remember working on I was helping write the jokes for a

MTV movie awards and she was a presenter and so it became a big debate you know one of those things that is amazing about show business,

where everybody sat around for 20, 30 minutes trying to figure it out, and then using different sources. And one place would come back, it's Seyfried. Another place would come back and say it's Seyfried. And, like, it's just, like, no consistency on how to pronounce it. And to this day, I feel like I still don't know. I don't like that. I was watching Charlize Theron being interviewed on the TV last night

because it's the kind of exciting thing I do now. And there was a whole discussion. Like, the first, it was weird because she was promoting this movie. There was, like, a time of discussion how to, The two interviewers, the two hosts of this chat show were sort of talking to her, not really letting her have a word in edgewise, much like I'm doing with you folks, about how you pronounced Thrawn.

And it turns out that no one's ever got it wrong. And she said how... She said how you pronounced it. And it was, like, the brown note or something. It was, like, something that only dogs could hear. It was like, it was like, I'm like, no way. And I come from Wales where nothing is understandable. And it was just like, it was just like, it was, it was, it was,

you know, there's no way I can pronounce it like that. She burped? It was very much like that. I always thought it like that. She burped? It was very much like that. I always thought it was Theron. But she's someone that's just given up on correcting people. Yeah. It's a South African

guttural thing, probably. I'm a big proponent of people pronouncing names right because people always mess up my name and um same thing happened i do warm up for the patriot act when we were able to tape and hassan minaj his name is hassan and he people were calling him hassan for the longest and then he got on ellen and had like a 10 minute discussion about pronouncing his name right and he said his

father was so disappointed but it's like no pronounce my name right so yeah that should be the first thing that comes up when you google somebody it's a clip that has them or somebody else correctly pronouncing their name that's true because they do that for for the definition of words you can click on that little microphone yeah you know yeah because i'd really like to just know, you know, I just like to know because I hate saying somebody's name wrong to their face. Doug, how do you say your last name? Beato Hall. Oh, Tom. Okay, so, wow, this is exciting.

We got Clark with one point, Joelle with two, and Carmen with three as we barrel into the third and final round. And first up is Carmen. Uh-oh. Yeah, Carmen, she can't be back this time.

I know! All right, here we go. Don't worry about changing your answer. You've got plenty of time. We'll lock it in after everybody's decided. Okay. The film, from the same year as The Wiz, interestingly enough, I would not have guessed this, 1978.

It's Grease. Okay. Okay. Oh, my gosh. what is her name? I can't remember her name. Can I call her by her character name or is that bad? Well, what's her character name? Maybe we can help you.

Rizzo. Oh, Stalker Channing. Yeah, Stalker. I'll go with her. She was 43 when they made that movie. She might as well be. She's great. I like her.

She was like late 20s. I mean, all the high school students were in their 20s, except for I think Olivia Newton-John was closest to her real age or closest to what she was supposed to be, but she was still probably 20, 21 or something. All right, what do you think, Clark? I think I was trying to be too cute last time, and I think I would be foolish not to say John Travolta.

I think that's my guess. Well, that's kind of forcing Joyelle to not be foolish. I didn't really mean it like that. It's like you're preemptively insulting Or he's calling me foolish. Yes. Yeah, you're insulting everyone. Oh boy. I'm going to be me too

before the end of this. Put your mother on please. Well, since I got challenged to be foolish, I'm going to be cutesy and say Lorenzo Lamas. Nice. Nice. Very nice. That's a fun answer, Lorenzo.

Okay, back to you, Carmen. Do you want to stick with Stockard Channing? Wow. Yes, I will. Okay. And Clark is sticking with Johnny Trav's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever interview him? I did, he is oddly, only over the phone, he is oddly shy I have to say given the, given the, you know, sexy cockiness that he tends to exude. He is not as you would imagine. I mean, he was very nice, but really quite shy,

which always, I never understand how people, it's like De Niro, I know De Niro is shy particularly, but he's a real tough interviewer. And you're like, well, you're a really good actor. Can't you just like act as if you're somebody who can do an interview? You know what I mean? Like you can pretend you're somebody who murders people uh pretending you're somebody that can that can string seven words together would seem easier than that but uh yeah he was fine

he was also for that um movie the fanatic the fred durst movie which uh i didn't like as much as some of other john travolta movies i think it's fair to say but um there you go oh i didn't like as much as some of other John Travolta movies I think it's fair to say there you go I don't even know that one it was directed by Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit fame John Travolta plays a stalker who stalks

a character who stalks like a horror movie actor, essentially. It's, it's weird. Yeah. Yeah.

I know Fred Durst, I know Fred Durst directed that movie with Ice-T, the like, the comebacks or something like that. Right. I mean, it just wasn't, it wasn't really my,

it wasn't quite my thing. I think it's fair to say, but. Oh, and real quick, real quick, Ice Cube. I said Ice-T. I was about to say. think it's a fantasy. But... Oh, and real quick, real quick. Ice Cube, I said Ice-T. I was about to say. But it's Ice Cube.

Oh boy. Okay, so... Black ice matters, I don't know. I'm gonna say Olivia Newton-John, since we changed in answers. Oh, okay. Oh, interesting. I kind of...

Okay. You want to change yours, Carmen? Well, I kind of wanted to, but I didn't want to piggyback. I'm going to leave it, actually. I'm going to leave it. With Stockard Channing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so

Clark is saying John Travolta. Joyelle is saying Olivia Newton-John. And Carmen's going with Stalker Channing. Here we go. Yeah. At number four, because that's all the only ones I wrote down. A lot of people in that movie. But that was such a good pull.

Lorenzo Lamas finished number four. Oh, okay. Wow. Yeah, so close. But nobody actually ended up going with him. Number three is Rizzo. Oh, yes. Tucker Channing. And number two, so that's one more point for Carmen,

so she's up to four points. Number two, this is another one of those ones that this site comes up with these, and I'm like't I can't believe this apparently the actor Michael Biehn who's in the Terminator movies Avatar I guess he uh or no which one was he in he's in he's in a bunch of James Cameron movies yeah he um he's has an uncredited role he does something in Greece. He's in there somewhere. He's second.

What has he done lately? Why would he be so popular? I do not know. I do not know. He was in a bunch of Cameron movies. He's the guy that comes back from the future in Terminator. I can never

remember, but he's either Hicks or Hudson in Aliens. He's the one that isn't Bill Paxton. Yeah. He's great, but no, I can't think of what he's done recently. Oh, yeah, he's the bad guy in the Abyss. I thought he was really good in that, because he goes crazy because of the pressure

of being underwater. Okay, number one, it is John Travolta. Oh, number one. It is John Travolta. Oh, wow. You know, I feel like, but I'm kind of a ringer here. I don't think it's fair. You know what I mean?

I'm not funny. I work at an entertainment magazine. It's just not fair. I take it. I would take it. Take it. Here's the thing. First of all, you're tied with Carmen. We have a two-way tie. Oh, okay. Royale is tired of winning, so she doesn't mind just hanging out

for a second. I'm so cute. She's winning all the time. But, um, yeah, I don't think it's unfair at all that you, uh, I don't think you brought any particular advantage to this clerk. I thought you were going to say you didn't bring any other particular talents

to this, to this show. I just have been tired of, I've been talking too much lately and I just wanted to get a guest who could take over that for me. And you, you've been a delight because this is our this is our first time meeting even even you know just over zoom and i i really appreciate you being here but you and carmen need to go head to head now this is a speed thing the first person you can tell me so you can just take a few guesses each

as quickly as possible who is the second most popular person, not the top person who's the second most popular person in the motion picture was

when the other route was turned into a Broadway musical, the movie Beetlejuice. Oh, my God. Who's number two? Winona Ryder? That is correct. Oh, my God. Yeah, because Michael Keaton got the number one slot and then katherine o'hara gina davis and alec baldwin i mean but that's a solid those five people all had substantial and ongoing

careers and even one of them did some archery it's pretty amazing you think alec baldwin would be number one because of all his snl stuff. Or even Winona, because she's on Stranger Things. Yeah, I think that's why she's two. I think Catherine O'Hara's three because of Schitt's Creek is really popular. And Keaton's number one in that case because now he's talking about, aren't they discussing with him coming back and playing Batman in something? Yeah. Yeah and baby yeah he's only batman joyelle is on the record that michael keaton is the only batman i agree he was great so good he's

terrific he did bring like a personality that nobody else bothered to do with Batman. They all think he should just be boring. Yeah. His quirkiness is so fun. Yeah. Superman can be boring. Batman needs to be. Yeah, exactly.

Okay. So congratulations to Clark. The other thing I was going to say, though, when you were saying it's unfair, is that you don't win anything. Yeah. You know? though when you were saying it's unfair is that you don't win anything you know there's no there's no prizes i mean you can strut around south wales bragging about it all you want except i can't because i'll be wearing a mask but yes yeah well it'll be like it'll be like you'll have to lift it up to uh you know, get a pint in there when you're done.

I'm just thinking how I'm going to, if there's any way that I can explain to my mother that I won something this evening and what that thing was. Moms are always proud though. I'm sure. I'm sure she'll be proud of you. I guess. Oh yeah. She must be very impressed that you're on. I will say, I will say, I once came, the only thing I've ever really won was,

I won a journalism award for writing, this is really dumb, but I won a journalism award for writing a feature about why they never made a third Fletch movie, which I think on my deathbed, I'll think I spent a month writing a feature about why they never made a third Fletch movie. And I went to this ceremony and it was,

the thing with journalism awards is they don't really, the categories aren't in genres, but they're in length. So if your feature is 2,000 or 3,000 words, you're up against other articles that are 2,000, 3,000 words, regardless of their subject matter. And I was honestly up against a feature about this busload of nuns

who'd been murdered. And I was just like, please don't let me win. Please don't let me win. Please don't let me win. And mercifully I didn't win and I came second. And it was this glass trophy, which I wrapped up and I sent to my mom in, this was in New York and I sent it to my mom in Wiles. And two weeks later, she called me up really worried.

She was like, why did you send me a box of broken glass? And it was as if I'd like, it was like the mafia and it sent me a box of broken glass and it was as if i'd like was like the mafia and it sent her a box of broken glass as a warning because the trophy had smashed into the arena all right there's a lot to a lot to go over there and what you all but i'm just gonna jump to the murdered nuns what did they do to deserve it? I don't know. I don't know. To be clear, they did nothing to deserve it. I mean, they were innocent. I mean, they clearly

pissed somebody off, but I want to absolutely try to get out of this without being cancelled. The nuns were innocent in this situation. I just didn't want to be victorious over the article. Yeah, that is very shocking.

That just goes to show you how much better a writer you are, because it seems like a slam dunk for that person who wrote that article for there to be sympathy, whereas writer you are because it seems like a slam dunk for that person who wrote that article to for sympathy for there to be sympathy whereas your article you had to have people sympathize for who kevin smith yes it was could each of you could each of you please send me especially the winner clark could each of you if you have like a crown sitting around or a trophy of some kind, if you still have your award from the 2,000 words, please send me a picture of each of you. Send me a picture of yourself and your environment in which you participated in this,

and I'll throw it together and make a collage and put it on my social media. And is there anything specific you'd like to promote starting with Clark Clawless? Just to tell people, Entertainment Weekly is an excellent magazine that everybody should subscribe to. It's a real bargain. And my Twitter

handle is at Clark Clawless. Love it. Thank you. Joyelle Johnson. Oh man, we're not doing the final game game i don't have a way to redeem myself whatever that was the final game it's been we've been together for an hour now i know i always look i always thought that last game of us choosing an actor is the final game anyway yes i am at joelle nicole on social media and yeah i i'm uh doing stretches and stories on saturdays on instagram live but i might switch that but yeah look out for stretches and stories because i'm also a yoga instructor and I like to talk a lot of shit so I love it that's cool um

it's funny the same thing happened to uh when I switched it up on uh when Lisa Trager was on she said the same thing when I was wrapping it up like aren't we gonna do the one where we name all the like she was looking forward to that too so apologies for one apologies for changing it up on you and I'll try to remember I'll try to have both of you back to play that game specifically. Oh, good. Oh, please let me go ahead and have it, Lisa. I would love it. Please.

The guy who wasted half an hour with his long, tedious stories will not be invited back. But there you go. Well, it's just yeah, it's you know, next time i i need somebody to tell everybody what scott pilgrim is i'm gonna give you a holler but i i feel that way all the time because i always want to talk about scott pilgrim

uh carmen lynch the album it's out. Perfect time to get and enjoy an album from a hilarious person, and it's called Vertically Obese. Thank you. Yes, it's out now, so please order. Because you're a tall lady, is the point of that title. Is the point, yep. Joyelle

is just as tall, so she gets it. She's vertically obese, too. Oh, yeah, baby. We the trees. We are. We're is just as tall so she gets it she's vertically obese too we are we're trees um and everything i'm on carm at carmen comedian for everything so that's my social media handle that's fantastic and i'm at doug loves movies if you want strictly doug loves movies talk on twitter or you could just go to my regular Doug Benson account. But I think everybody's listening to you about that already. We've got a new podcast premiering very soon called Wide World of Dougs

with Doug Mellard. And hope to have all of you on that podcast someday. One more time, I'd like to thank Clark Collis and Joy L. Johnson and Carmen Lynch. And as always, didn't prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!