Doug Loves Movies - Colt Cabana, Adam Burke and Jeremy L. Morrison guest

Episode Date: May 5, 2017

Live from Zanies Comedy Club in Rosemont, IL, Doug welcomes Colt Cabana, Adam Burke and Jeremy L. Morrison to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Enjoy the show. Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azobot pork kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see because Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey, everybody! My name is Doug, and I love movies! This is Doug Loves Movies! Coming to you once again

from my normal May the fourth be with you taping spot. How many years in a row have we done this now? Too many. Why are you still here? This is it. I'm drawing the line with this one fucker it's the third or fourth year in a row I think that I've been here on May the 4th at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois it's Thursday May the 4th, 2017,

and I have a good feeling that there's some Star Wars name tags in the audience and great name tags in general. You guys always kill it. I know a lot of you came here on a train. That's got gotta be embarrassing Seven instead of seven I like that That's pretty cool

I can't believe I said Star Wars Then went right to seven We got episode What? Episode one, The Phantom Alex That'd be a better title than what they went with. Is someone playing a Star Wars theme? Do I hear that lightly out there in the audience somewhere?

That guy's got a BB-8 that's kind of like, what is that, like a lantern? Yeah? And you're shining your phone light on it? Good job, I might not have noticed. If you didn't shine your phone light on that BB-8. We've got Empire Strikes Zack. But you just, that's an interesting approach. You just cross out the word back and write Zack next to it. Zack and Addy make a porno?

Did you guys make a porno? And was it called The Empire Strikes Zach? Was it an S&M dungeon kind of thingy? Oh, shit. So close, Captain Aaron. And my cousin Donnie. In Corius Bastards. I like it, Corey.

Guessing that's your name. So many good ones. Return of Lee Jedi. That'd be so fucking sweet if your real name was Lee Jedi. You might want to go to the post office or wherever you go to change your name.

Probably could just change your address at the post office. Those are some fancy ass donuts over there. Those are too fancy to throw if you ask me. Oh, we got some other ones over there. Glazed. What? Glazed and infused? That's too many things to do to a donut whatever happened to just a fucking plain donut let me see these glazed and infused oh I get it's I'm so smart wait is it taped up

oh there we go oh okay but they are infused in addition to being glazed or is that just a fun pun like this is glazed but then it also has shit inside it you don't know alright well thank you for bringing those Like this is glazed but then it also has shit inside it? You don't know?

All right. Well, thank you for bringing those. Those will be the ones we chuck out into the crowd at the moments where it's appropriate. It's kind of a low ceiling in here in a tight space. So when the donut throwing happens, I'm not li liable and thank you again for all the great name tags you guys brought and especially for bringing your star wars game hard but who knows what my guests will pick i don't know how into this holiday they are uh we'll find out when they get out here but first we got to do some Doug plugs. Tomorrow night, Cinco de Mayo, another tradition.

Another tradition here in Rosamond is for me to do a show on Cinco de Mayo. So tomorrow night we're doing a stand-up show at 8 o'clock. And I think there's still a few more tickets left for that. And don't forget your name tags if you want to play some Last Man Stanton at the end of the show. If you want to come up here on stage in front of the new, since the last time I was here, this is new, right? This new backdrop. Ooh, it's very plush. Touch it, lady.

It's like Braille and it says this place is nice. And now it actually says Zany's on the stage I don't know if it did before but you know used to be at least to look like a Tron you know it used to look like a map from the movie Tron or something but now they got a big sign says Zany's and the letters are a little sparkly I like the whole vibe of it it's kind of like it's kind of like you're in the waiting room at a brothel

where the ladies might be a little offbeat. They might have a different kind of approach to a blowjob, for instance. Like they might actually blow on your dick and be like, hey, what can we say? It's Zany's. Welcome to Zany's brothel and comedy show. We thought about calling it the funny ranch. So anyway, stuff like that's going to happen tomorrow night Just 90 minutes of me making fun of the new fancy backdrop

And then Saturday at 4.20 We're going to do another Doug Loves Movies right here In this spot So come back if you can Or never again like this one gentleman too many I hit my limit right now and you haven't even started um what else did I want to uh point out oh Sunday I'm doing stand-up at Comedy Off-Broadway which is way off-Broadway, which is way off-Broadway because it's in Lexington, Kentucky. And that's also at 4.30,

and that's also a bring-your-name tags if you want to play situation. Or bring a fancy Kentucky Derby hat, you fucks. That's probably not a great way to promote. I was nice to you guys. I was like, come out to the show in Rosemont, friends. Hey, Kentucky, you fucks. Doesn't seem right, but Kentucky does rhyme with fucky.

Chicago does not. Denver on Mother's Day. Houston, May 24th San Antonio May 27th All my dates and dates and links are at Douglovesmovies.com That's Douglovesmovies.com Now where in the audience tonight Is someone whose Twitter name is

A-M-N-D-A-D Amandad Amandad What does that mean? Is that your name's Amanda? Without all the A's. Oh, you're saying that your Twitter name is Amanda with less A's. Because I can still see a couple of them.

And then you've got an extra D at the end. Amandad. This guy says you like the D. Do you even know this gentleman over here? Are you on a date? You got seated weirdly? Well, a man dad tweeted at me. He said that you were coming to the show,

but you said that last night, on Wednesday the 3rd of May, you were seeing Ed Asner in a one-man show called A Man and His Prostate. And since you tweeted that to me, I could not help but wonder, how was it? How was Lou Grant's one-man show, I assume, about a bad thing that happened with his prostate?

Or maybe it's all about good prostate health. Does he get an exam on stage? Does he bring in like a buxom nurse and she shoves her hand up his ass? Someone else wrote it, Ed Asner just acts it out. And it's about a man who got prostate cancer and lived to tell about it. Starring Ed Asner. Who's up there he's old up there by himself hour and a half one man show

are we missing it tonight like did you think about seeing it two nights in a row he's traveling with it for about a year. He just goes to different towns and talks about some other guy's prostate. But he makes it all about him. So Ed Asner. All right.

He was my uncle in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm Where he dies Spoiler And then I get mad at Larry David I accuse him of murdering my uncle I call him an uncle murderer And then I get Larry David in a headlock And then the episode ends as it often did with Larry David

Where he's just in a jam and then they're like, that's enough. Yeah, then that music comes on. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Ah. All right. That was fun. Thanks, Amanda.

You're welcome. Oh shit If I mention that the weed's good in Rosemont Yeah, they got good roses and good weed I brought a prize bag All the way from California Yeah, so it's got some real California kind of objects in it. It's a bag that says Ralph's Grocery Store on it. That's a thing out there, right?

And then inside the bag I've got a book someone sent me called True Living Organics. Yeah, I don't know why it doesn't have the word weed on it. Oh, The Ultimate Guide to Growing All Natural Marijuana Indoors. So someone here tonight is going to win this, and then I want them to meet me outside the club the next time I come back because they will have mastered growing marijuana indoors and then they'll share it with me uh my uh most recent uh cd I'm gonna make another one soon I promise but that one's in the bag promotional tool I got this somewhere I already forgot where let me think for a second

maybe I'll think of it nope um it It's a long-sleeved blue shirt that's kind of nice, but it says Bud Light on the chest. Oh, I got this in Nashville at the Wild West Comedy Festival. So Bud Light was the sponsor. Thanks for sponsoring that comedy festival, but why would anyone wear that? And then...

Oh, this is pretty cool I got in the bag Two tickets, these are aisle seats Row C To see round two Home game two of the Grand Rapids Griffins versus The Chicago Wolves

At the Allstate Arena. So when you go there, you know you're in good hands. So it's tomorrow night, and apparently Zany's here has a lot of these. And they said, do you want to put some in the prize bag? And handed me 50 of them. And I was like, I'll put two in the prize bag and handed me 50 of them. And I was like, I'll put two in the prize bag. I don't think anybody that comes to Douglas Movies has 48 friends.

Podcasting's a more insular experience than that. But here's the fun part. Is anybody excited about the idea of going to that tomorrow night? Pick up a couple of tickets on your way out the door. I told them, just stand by the door with the tickets.

Give them to anybody who wants them. So everybody wins tonight. Except for people that are coming to my show tomorrow night. Now they can't go see the wolves. I want to go to this instead of doing my show. But I'm a professional. So I'll be here. And then

the piece of resistance. The piece you could smoke out of from our friends at Peacemaker. It's one of the, you may have heard me already talking about it. They sent me a bunch of Christmassy-themed pipes. And it's never too early to get a Christmas pipe and be ready to, you know, maybe you'll get some weed by Christmas and put it in there

and give it a smoke. Plus, all the stuff my guests brought, three of whom are coming to the stage right now, please give a big, warm welcome All the stuff my guests brought, three of whom are coming to the stage right now. Please give a big, warm welcome to Jeremy L. Morrison, Adam Burke, and Colt Cabana. Hey, fellas, do you have on-off switches on those things? Hello. Oh, Jeremy's doesn't. Let's meet you first, Jeremy. Let's meet my guests individually, starting with the first timer here tonight.

It's Jeremy L. Morrison, everybody. I kind of made a mental note of it when I walked out on stage that it might be odd that the host of the show has the lowest chair. And now that you guys are sitting here, I definitely feel that way. But I'm going to proceed as if everything's

cool. I don't want to sit on that piece of shit. But thank you, Scott. It's Colt. Thank you. We'll edit that out. That is a fucking... Wait, I can't call you Scott? I don't know who you're talking about.

Yeah, why are you responding? The listeners didn't know. The listeners could have thought somebody named Scott offered me their chair. But I swear to God, on this show one time, I asked you what I should call you, and you said I could call you either. I think that was in the green room. And you were probably high as a motherfucker. All right, do you really want to edit out all mentions of the name Scott?

No, no, it's okay. For humor reasons, I'll allow you to know my real name. Who is this Scott person we're talking about? All I see is Colt. Thank you. It's his brother, Scott Scabanna. Which, by the way, we'll get to that in a second. But let's say hi to Jeremy because he is the...

How many people are on your podcast? Three. Three? It's the three of you get together and you have guests also? Sometimes. Sometimes? Is your mic really not hot? I don't think it's very hot. We can get a little more action on Jeremy's mic, please,

if that's possible. It's called Acid Pop Cult. Yes. And the three of you discuss pop culture stuff. Yeah, pretty much. So do you think you're going to be good at the games today?

I hope so. Do you think you could beat people with names like Scott and Colt? Like if you had to just compete against one person, would you prefer Scott or Colt? Probably Scott. Right? That's a little less intimidating. Very, very less intimidating, yes. All right.

Well, thank you for being here and good luck. Thank you. In all of your endeavors. Also joining us, how many times have you been on the show now, you think? I believe this is the fourth. Fourth time for Adam Burke, everybody! Hello!

I haven't been here since they changed the wallpaper either. This is a plush wall. It's nice, right? You touch it and it's got layers to it. You can imagine Doc Holliday throwing up blood on this. You know what I mean? You can imagine like a... Oh, yeah. If I'm dying of tuberculosis,

this is the place I'm going to come to. Wait, is that Michael J. Fox? What? His name is Scott J. Fox. Oh, that's Doc Hollywood. Sorry about that. What? His name is Scott J. Fox. Michael J. Fox doesn't have tuberculosis. Oh, that's Doc Hollywood.

Sorry about that. We all remember the gunfight at the end of Doc Hollywood, right? I can't believe it. Colt already has negative one point Colt I can't believe you got something's name wrong that hasn't happened in this show for five minutes Adam of course is

a Chicago stand up comedy phenom yeah you know him you love him you may have seen him on the has that local thing you did aired yet no I wasn't on that but I yet? No, I wasn't on that, but I am on Wait, Wait. I was on it. Yeah, I was using someone else's credits. Oh, okay.

Because this wall got... Your theory is this wall got changed because they taped a local show here. And then they just kept it. They kept the nice change, yeah. They did a Wild West-themed comedy show, apparently. But yeah, it's nice. I like it. Wild West themed comedy show. It's nice. I like it. It is

brothily. Is that an adjective? It is now. Bust out your mad libs, everybody.

Also joining us for his, I believe, fourth time. Five? It might be five. Might be five? No, no, no.

Scott's been on it twice. Colt has been on it twice. This is Scott's first time. Grand total of four. It's Colt Cabana, everybody! But it all makes sense now. When I said to you, which you like to be called, in our personal lives, I could call you either.

I just didn't get that. On stage, you're exclusively Scott. Boom! My career is ruined. Well, you know, what's also going to ruin your career is your new nickname. Because it's really, it's stuck, I think. Can I do a spoiler in my prize bag and surprise you? I love it. Okay, hold on.

I made this. That sounds so gross. Can I do a spoiler in my prize bag? It sounds like something a toddler would say. It's the funny ranch. Come wherever you want. So do you want to say my nickname now? Yeah, it's Colt Banana Cabana.

Right. And in my prize bag today is this. You wrote Colt on a banana. This is really going to take off. No, he didn't write Colt on a banana. He just found a banana. It's just a banana. It's a banana that went bad.

And the brown spots smell out Colt. I was like, I got to get this. That is perfect. But yeah, that's a fun idea. Do you remember which match was it? I just got to see Colt in a wrestling circus in Austin, Texas, and your match was very entertaining.

But Space Monkey, there's a wrestler named Space Monkey who dresses like a monkey with a space helmet on in a space suit I know him as Steve and fucking Steve Steve Monkey Steve eats a banana during the wrestling match.

That's pretty good. And then disposes of the peel right where his competitors might slip on it. It's fucking ingenious. And that was a real fight. Real fight. You were in an intergender tag team match. Yes. Which blew my mind. I did not really punch that girl.

Okay, great, because it's been bugging me for days. I really wanted to ask you when I saw you. Did she really slip on that banana peel? It was a different match. Oh, okay. But they had all the different styles and all sorts of crazy shit at that wrestling circus. So I recommend anybody check that out when they get a chance. Yeah, Austin, Texas.

Wrestle Circus is amazing. But, of course, everybody here knows about AAW here in Chicago. The best pro wrestling in Chicago, Illinois. What's the twist there? What do they do different here that makes it better than everywhere else? They have a space rhinoceros. Can you imagine a rhinoceros

eating a banana? That's ridiculous. I can't imagine one in space, though. And when's the next one in Chicago that you're going to participate in? Well, see, it's Saturday night at Logan Square Auditorium, and there's 50 free tickets. No, but it's this Saturday night, and this podcast will be out by then, so plug away. Saturday night at the Logan Squirrel Auditorium, and then Thursday, May 25th in Berwyn. There's another one locally here in Chicago. Berwyn.

Oh, man. That will only happen here. But you're going around, like, you do this all over the place. You're constantly traveling. Yeah, I'm in Iowa tomorrow. I'm in Toronto on Sunday. I'm in Michigan on Wednesday. I'm in New York on Friday.

I'm in Maine on Saturday. I'm in Philly on Sunday. He's in space sometimes. You wouldn't believe what they have up there. And you, yeah, so people can go to your website and see all those dates. GoBanner.com, yeah. All right. Very nice. We'll plug it at the endabana.com, yeah. All right. Very nice.

We'll plug it at the end as well. Or Scott the Wrestler also. Was that your name starting out? Scott the Wrestler? One of my first names that I thought of was Scotty Suave. Oh, yeah? I thought that was... You're so setting yourself up for a career in villainy

if you have a name like that, right? And then my mom wanted me to be the Hebrew hunk. That's true. Would you have like payas? Would you have the little curls? Because those are very grabbable, I would have thought, in a fight, right? Someone could punch me in the matzo balls.

There you go. What would your closing move be? What would your finishing move as the Hebrew honk be? I can't say that joke here. Oh, really? Would it be the Passover? Oh, shit. Would you just throw him into the audience?

There you go. What about the yarmulke driver? The dreidel driver has been suggested to me. That's nice. I'm still trying to find out what you didn't want to say. Something about a bris? Oh, no. I don't even...

Rhymes with Schmittler. Rhymes with Schmittler. Your finishing move is something to do with Hitler? I mean, he had a great one, didn't he? I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish. Maybe that's the part we should edit out. What's funny is that made me think of Sean Spicer and that does sound like a wrestling name.

The ultimate bad guy. All right. So I could just say, rhymes with Schmittler. You know what, that's when Hitler was first blowing up, that's when they were like, ah, Hitler, Schmittler. When he was first blowing up. Yeah. He would do like the Nuremberg open mics, you know what I mean?

In the beginning when Hitler was killing it. He was on that Dictators to Watch showcase. All right, let's talk prize bag. Jeremy, what do you have for us? Looks like something people can watch. Yeah, I have some projects that I've worked on. Really? Yeah. First up is a, for your consideration, from 2017,

screener of Look, the movie. Wait, it's 2007. 2007, yeah, fucking. Yeah, when you were like, from 2017, there's already a screener for Academy Consideration? That's confidence. It's a really fucking good movie. So 2007 is called Look?

Yes, it's directed by my boss, Adam Rifkin. Oh, all right. Yeah, so Indie Darling from 2007. It's called Look? Yes, it's directed by my boss, Adam Ripken. Oh, alright. Yeah, it's Indie Darling from 2007. And I urge anybody to watch it if you don't win it. Next up is actually Look the series.

What? So good. We made a television series out of it. They made this movie into a TV show I never heard of also? I love any art that tells you what to do with it. You know what I mean? Yeah. We made it in 2009. It was

aired in 2010 on the Showtime Network. They were trying to get away from the Skinamax kind of programming. Right. So they made a thing about voyeurism. Exactly. But it's got heart, Doug. These women are acting like they don't know they were seeing them naked.

That's the first television. First season? Was there a second season? No, that's a long story. Why would they put season one on the box when there was only one season? Yeah, they got those in the wrong order. It should have just been, look, one season. To be fair, it was released before the head of the network was fired

and we found out that we weren't going to get a second season. Right, that sort of thing does happen. I get it. Yeah, and this is a newly released this last Tuesday of Psycho Cop Returns from Vinegar Syndrome. The sequel to Psycho Cop? Yes, it is. Indeed. Starring Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. And, yeah, again, Boss made that.

And it just came out on Blu-ray, so we're kind of promoting that shit. It's on Amazon if you don't want it. All right. Thank you for all of that. Thank you. Look, you guys. I got it. Thanks for that cheap pop, Doug.

Oh, you're welcome. Adam, what do you got? I got a book called Hey, It's That Guy, which is a guide to character actors. Oh, that's fun. That you might have seen. So, yeah. So, you know, Gary Cole is in here at some point. The dude from Office Space.

What's that? Yeah, he was. Gary Cole from Office Space. And a copy of my album that you can use as a bookmark for that book. Universal Squirrel Theory. That's the one. That's the name of the album. Thank you.

You're welcome. Very good. I'm excited about this character actor book. I might hang on to this. It's like IMDb, but you get to hold it. It's not so much a prize as it is a bribe. Alright,

this is cool. Oh, Danny Trejo, he's been on the show. Oh, has he really? He won't be on again because I want to live. He was very nice and he seemed to have a good time, but I also don't expect to hear from him. I heard a story when he was at... Danny Dreher was in an episode of the Marc Maron Show

and apparently at one point he turned to Marc Maron and he said, I didn't have these many lines in the last eight movies I did combined. Yeah, you're making me talk too much. It's true. He's not a born podcaster, that Danny Trejo. There's no room for machetes in podcasting. I've got a trivia question for you. What's Danny Trejo's first movie? It's the very first movie that he appeared in.

You see his foot sticking out from under a house, The Wizard of Oz. You see his foot sticking out from under a house, the Wizard of Oz. That's why all the munchkins were so terrified. That's great. What was his first appearance? The Runaway Train. Oh, yeah, with what's-his-name and the other guy?

Yeah. Actually, it's called Look, the Runaway Train. That movie starred the team of Scarf and Crazy. Actually, Crazy and Crazy, John Voight and Eric Roberts. Yeah, that's correct. There you go.

It's like I know a movie or two. Colt? Well, I got a banana. Thank you. All right. But what do you have in the bag? Yes. I got a pro wrestling crate, which is like a loot crate.

Ooh, that's a big applause. It's a nice size box there Thank you Thank you I don't know if that's a compliment to a man Nice box Colt A lot of space to put that banana in too

I won't go through everything that's in here But this is like a limited edition micro brawler, a little Colt Cabana, if you win that. Okay, so prowrestlingcrate.com. Did you call that a micro brawler? Yeah, that's what they're called. He's such a cute little brawler. This is the movie that I, I guess, produced.

I didn't direct or edit. Jack Ettinger did. It's The Wrestling Road Diaries 3 Funny Equals Money. Thank you very much. They're all clapping because they've seen it and loved it. It's signed by me and it's the dissection of comedy in wrestling because that's what I do. I'm a comedy

wrestler and this is a documentary. It's very cool. Great. That's signed for you. Ready to go. I got a $20 gift card to One Hour Tees. Which is custom t-shirts made here in Chicago. And for those of you who have no clue who I am, just because I'm on the show, I'm the guy on the billboard for One Hour Tees.

So proud of you. If any claim to fame I have, I'm a guy on a billboard. And ten years ago when I used to get Netflix, I used to... This is a classic. You've brought some of these to every episode you've been on.

These are great. Yeah, I would burn it, and I would draw the art myself. So you get these DVD-R16s. One is of kicking it old school. Oh, you drew a nice little boom box on there. Yeah, a little boom box. And the other one is, and maybe you've seen this, because I don't remember it, but I know why I ordered it.

It's called Breasts the Documentary. Is that parts one and two? It's narrated by Morgan Freeman. I remember tits. March of the breasts. And those are my prizes. All of that stuff. Thank you very much.

Pass it down. I just remembered. Yeah, don't forget the banana. I have something else. People need their potassium as they're trying to leave the business park tonight. I just remembered I have a gift certificate for my in-laws' pizzeria for $25. So that sweetens the pot a little bit. It sure does.

It's Villanova and Stickney. 6821 Pershing Road. It says to and from are both blank. So I'm going to go ahead and fill those in. Please do. From Doug Loves Movies. Blank check.

Do I get a point? Do I get my point back? No. Okay, you're back to zero. And then for two, I'm going to write some shithead. I hope it's still

I hope that doesn't invalidate it If anything it validates it way more They don't have a strict no shithead policy at this pizzeria No I'm there all the time No shoes, no shirt, no shithead Well congratulations to someone whose name tag gets chosen and wins all that stuff.

Two bags full of stuff tonight, so that's going to be somebody. I hope you don't have other plans this evening. You could just go throw it in the car and then just go do whatever else you want to do. I don't think it's possible for anyone to come to this mall, have a meal, see a show, and not also just take a moment, go indoor skydiving. You make a whole night of it.

I feel like that should be the way you get back to the parking garage. They just shoot you back. Now I'd like to ask a question I ask all my guests on every episode when I remember to. Starting with you, Jeremy. What was the last movie you saw? We just watched Split. The M. Night Shyamalan. Yes. James McAvoy yes that how many characters does he play in it how many personalities does he have 23 23 okay you see all of them no not really yeah but the ones you do see he does a

good job yeah yeah I haven't seen the movie so't seen the movie I had a no Shyamalan rule in my life But people just kept telling me This one's good, this one's good, this one's good And now I finally believe them But it's too late I had that same rule But then he did The Visit last year And I really enjoyed that.

It was a nice return to just a simple horror for him with a decent twist at the end, as he's one to do. All right. And then with Split, it's the complete polar opposite. It's the bipolar opposite. True. All right, Adam gets a point. True. All right, Adam gets a point.

I really enjoyed it, though, because it's laying the groundwork for something, I think, really cool. Right. Well, you know, it's exactly. It's a weird thing because I brought it up recently to somebody on the show that they're going to make an Unbreakable 2 and that it's going to be connected to Split somehow and people are acting like that's a spoiler but I think that's the It is and it isn't.

Okay. That's not the main spoiler in the movie. It's not the main twist. Is the twist that it's good? No one was expecting that the twist is they say he has 23 personalities but you only see 22 of them no um it it having read that article like the day before from the hollywood reporter um i picked up a lot of stuff that maybe

had I seen the movie first I would have said oh shit I need to go back and rewatch it because there is a lot of tie in and if you know that going in you're gonna you know I'm psyched but you know it doesn't ruin it how much of it ties into the happening because that's what I really there there are

a couple plants in the movie like Unbreakable isn't like a That's what I really... There are a couple plants in the movie. Okay, all right. Like, Unbreakable isn't like a movie that's known for its twist, and it was his follow-up to Sixth Sense, and to me, it's my favorite of all of his movies, and I've been hoping that he'd get the idea to revisit it. I really think that you'll enjoy that.

Remove the ban, and then just, you know, berate me on Twitter if you hate it. No, I think it'll be alright. If you get burned enough times, it takes a long time to be like, okay, I'll touch that stove again. I keep getting the same result.

I better stop. But you know what? It's been a while. Let's fucking touch that stove adam what was the last movie you saw all right so on today i actually went and saw uh fate of the furious the eighth fast you did today did you go because you felt like you had to see something current as like homework for this show no i well kind of a little bit that but also because i uh i also because since the fifth one, I really like seeing those movies in the theater.

You need the stupidity on a large scale, I think, to really understand it, to really get into it. Isn't it like two hours and 20 minutes or some shit? I don't know. It flew by. Jesus. That's not that long a movie. It's a lot of fucking upshifting.

Yeah. It's kind of weird, but the movie doesn't move that well. But no, it was fun. I love how dedicated those movies are to not making any sense for like 20 seconds at a time. Like you'd think with 20 seconds it could make some narrative cohesion, but it doesn't. It's like, wow, that sentence didn't even make sense. Like, good job, guys. With each movie, it's like, let's just add more awesome actors

to talk about nonsense. Did you see it? Kurt Russell was in the last one. Now Charlize Theron's in this one. No, I haven't seen this one because I have a I will not see a Fast and Furious movie unless I have a microphone in my hand policy. Oh, that's fair.

Yeah, I save them for interruption shows. Well, if you were sitting through the last one and you thought, you know what, this would be pretty good if I had a submarine in it. Well, guess what? I saw, but there was a making of thing of Fate and the Furious on

HBO, and they go, yeah, at the beginning of the movie we have a chase scene in this place, and then later in the movie we have a chase scene in this other place, and then later in the movie at the end we have a chase scene in this place, and they show scenes from all three of those chases and it just feels like I got the fucking

Cliff Notes version of the goddamn movie. I don't feel like I need to see it now. Yeah, but they're really chasing each other. You know what I mean? This time it's about family. It's always about chasing. Every fucking time they won't shut up about family. You're a bunch of crooks who just murder rampantly. When you're driving down the street,

people are dying left and right, and you're the heroes of the movie. I love how Vin Diesel says the word family so it has a B in it. You know what I mean? Family. When you said that, I was like, where does it have a B in it? You know what I mean? Family. When you said that, I was like, where does it have a B in it? Family.

But so can you rank them? Oh, shit. Like where does eight fit in? Like is it better than five, worse than seven? It's not better than five. Five is probably the gold standard, right? Yeah, five is seven? It's not better than five. Five's probably the gold standard, right? Yeah, five's where it all kicks off a little bit.

Again, it's just great. I love that the movies answer a question that no one asks. No one went, I really want to see a safe dragged through a city. And they're like, you know what? This movie's for you. You have to wait five movies for it to kick off? Yeah. Yeah.

That's how you know. Jesus Christ. Have you seen Attack of the Clones? No, I'm just kidding. No. I haven't. I watched some of it on the plane today flying here. I watched some of Attack of the Clones because I wanted to go to sleep.

And how was that nap? It's hard for me to sleep on planes. What? How was that nap? You know, I didn't have the sound on. I was just watching. I was just like, you know, I can still tell that the acting is very wooden. And that I don't care about anything that's happening.

But, you know. How far did you make it? Before you fell asleep. To Chicago. Hey! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Asked and answered. Can I make my observation about Fate and the Furious? Sure. I might be the only one who thinks this, or people who are like-minded to me, but all I can think is that The Rock is the most jacked human being in the world, and the only time he works out in that movie is when he breaks a prison bench and does one curl. Yeah. Wait, what was your problem?

The one curl? Yeah. You have a strict prison fucking regime that you have to go to? You got to do CrossFit in prison, man. I mean, doesn't the breaking of the bench count as like three curls at least? He eats like 19,000 calories on his Instagram, and I didn't see him eat once in that fucking movie. How does he stay that big?

Yeah, that's because Vin Diesel had already chewed all the scenery. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, with no scenery anymore, that's why they're in Siberia. That would be funny if you ran out of a scenery budget. Yeah, we're out of scenery guys Just drive around on the ice

What was the last movie you saw Cole? Did you see the new one? Fate and the Furious? I saw that in the theaters a couple weeks ago Yesterday I saw Yesterday I saw a movie called Tramps On Netflix But I saw I thought it was going to be like The Breasts, a documentary.

But before that I saw The Founder. We haven't talked about this on the show, really. Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald's. And I thought that one would probably be more interesting to talk about. Was it good? Did you like it? Yeah. Do you like McDonald's? No.

So, but isn't it, to me, I think if I was watching it, I'd think of him as kind of a villain, because he's really kind of put us on the whole country on a horrible dietary, the world, rather, has as kind of a villain because he's really kind of put us on the whole country on a horrible dietary, the world rather, has been kind of a bad thing that those proliferated like they did. Is that the right word? Did?

Oh, you're asking the wrong guy. Yes, Doug. But so was the movie interesting? I mean, I just, like, when I watch movies, I just want my interest to be kept, and it was. So I liked it, I guess. Okay, so you weren't sitting around going, when's he going to put on a Birdman outfit? No.

Why isn't Ray Kroc running through the streets in his underwear? In my mind, you always think that. Like, before Birdman came out, you would watch a Michael Keaton movie and just be like, when's he going to put on a Birdman outfit? It's about 1989. It's crazy that he's like, you know, now he's going to play Vulture

in a Marvel movie. Like, it's really come full circle for him in a strange way. What was interesting, yeah, that was he, I mean, it was like kind of a puff piece, but they do show how he was kind of an asshole in it. So, I don't know

okay I'll get out of here no I was wondering about that because as a former burger jockey the fucking guy's an asshole I have a question did McDonald's do like

a promotional tie-in with the movie where you get a little Ray Kroc toy? Just you pull his string and he tells you to eat even more horribly? Yeah?

No? Okay. He's going to recuse himself on that question. Are they going to do like a Burger King one and a Wendy's one and then there's like

an Avengers one where they all get together and we all fucking die in the end? There is a scene after the credits in The Founder where Sam Jackson recruits Ray Kroc to...

And if you look close enough there's a picture of Dave Thomas on the wall. Spoiler. Which one is he? Is he Wendy's? Yeah. And Wendy is his daughter, his stupid daughter with her stupid... His stupid dumb daughter with her stupid pigtails. His goddamn ginger daughter that's...

She's got to be a waste of space. She can't... She... She couldn't have led a productive life being fucking Wendy her entire life she probably changed her name and got a job at the funny ranch because you know over the years they've had different depictions of Wendy but they never really trot out somebody's are really supposed to be Wendy.

The real Wendy came out and the entire nation went no! Give us the cartoon back. Remember they had that red-headed girl that wasn't supposed to be Wendy. She just liked Wendy's. Right? Yeah, way before that, right? Yeah, okay.

After Dave died? She came out. That's what I was going to say. The first spot is her looking into his casket at the funeral. Would you guys want to grab a bite after this? I could use a Baconator right now.

Wait, Wendy was the one that said, where's the beep? Alright, well, I'm totally confused now about... But I do want to see the founder eventually. I think it seems interesting enough from what I've heard. And that was me saying, oh, sorry. I heard other people talk about it. You know, overheard conversations.

Because it kind of fucked up, right? I felt like it was being sort of touted as being this Oscar bait. Did anyone get that sense from it? Where it was like, oh, you can't wait to see Michael Keaton. And then they just went, then they forgot to release it or bait. Did anyone get that sense from it where it was like, oh, you can't wait to see Michael Keaton. And then they just went, then they forgot to release it or something. I don't have it. It's weird.

It was kind of poised to be like a potential bid for acting nomination for him. But Colt can answer this. Does he do anything dramatic in it? Does he like lift giant arches up a mountain? How strong is that pitch for that shake machine from the McDonald's Brothers?

Yeah. Yeah, he's a good actor. I don't know. Does he also play the Grimace in it? Nothing can stop the Grimace. Is it a dual role? What happened? Just have a drink down.

It's fine. Okay. Get a drink down. Is that really good? No, it wasn't the good whiskey. I feel this wall would soak it up, though. I've got a new question that I want to ask everybody. Billy McClellan suggested this on Twitter.

I don't know why he said his name in kind of a negative tone. Billy McClellan suggested this. And it's a great question. And I'm going to say it out loud and then raise your hand when you think you have an answer. And we'll see who does the best at this. Because the question is about me. What is the best movie you think I've never seen?

And if you say the founder, I'm coming over there. Jeremy has one. May I suggest Look from 2007? has one. May I suggest Look from 2007? Alright, I'm taking it out of the prize bag. I'm going to keep it. There's one in the green room for you. Oh, there's one in the green room for me? Great. That's why I pulled the

trigger on it. I was like, you know what? He gets enough shit. I'll just leave it back here. They'll think it's a coaster. I'd probably say the Wrestling Row Diaries 1, 2, and 3. Hey! I wasn't trying to help you guys plug your shit. So, Adam, what have you been in? Nothing.

I was like an asshole. I was going to give a serious answer. Can I point out, though, that when you said raise your hand, Colts limbered up his arm before, which is, he's the professional athlete. In his head, he's like, get ready, Colt. You can do this, Colt. In my mind, I was like, ugh, activity.

Yeah. My serious answer is something, I'd say something like breakfast at Tiffany's or something. Seen it! Why do you like that piece of garbage? Because the cat is called cat. Because that's what all cats should be called. They don't give a fuck.

I have a serious answer. And you enjoy old school racism? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but at the time time that was cutting edge racism That was hey watch Drug groups you should start forming You should start Trying to stop shit like this But Jeremy has another answer now

On the Audrey Hepburn front What about Wait Until Dark Yeah you can't come. On the Audrey Hepburn front. What about Wait Until Dark? Seen it. Yeah, you can't come at me with Audrey Hepburn movies. It's got to be something where, like, for some reason I just didn't. Colt looks pained. He's warmed up. He's ready.

Colt? Sticking with the Ed Asner theme of tonight. There can't be an Ed Asner movie that I haven't seen. Oh, yeah? This was the original The Wrestlerner movie that I haven't seen. Oh yeah? This was the original The Wrestler from 1973, I believe. Ed Asner was the promoter, and

it was one of the shittiest wrestling movies of all time. Yeah, it's supposed to be like the best movie he's ever seen. But he's probably seen all the good ones. Okay, yeah, so let's turn this into just a shitty movie. By the way, can I... That Ed Asner one-man play about prostate cancer,

shouldn't that also have just been called Up? Yes! You did it! You're awarded. Does anyone want this? You got to throw it. Oh, fuck. Oh, well, the man did have a target on his shirt.

Oh, shit. Oh! Jesus Christ That was a hell of a glance So aggressive Just fucking I always joke around that it's fun to throw it overhand Front rows don't get any closer The man has a target on his shirt. I'd expect that shirt from the space monkey, but seriously.

Look at that fucking debris down there. Fuck off. I thought you were handing it to him to get revenge on me. No, I just assumed he'd eat it. He took a bite out of it like it was a grenade. He took a bite out of it like it was a grenade. You know, there's a fight scene in Fate of the Furious that's very similar to this. I seen you pick some off your arm.

How many prison benches do you have to curl to work that off? All right. Well, I'm going to go check out those movies you guys suggested. Pretty excited about it. More like glazed and abused. It even says donuts on your shirt. You wrote, bring on the donuts and drew a target on your own chest. Apparently you've heard the show before.

No, but you've got to respect that hustle. Yeah. It also looks like a target for diabetes. You know what I mean? Just shove these things right into my heart. Colter, that's so hard. It was so hard, yeah. Does it hurt at all? That was a powerful throw.

And unexpected. I played a little high school... I played a little high school beat up the kid with the nerdy shirt on. I'm pretty sure you meant to say you played high school football. That's why you couldn't remember the word baseball. All right, turn the show off, Bert Kreischer,

because I'm about to say, let the games begin! Guys, I say this a lot, but I really mean it when I'm in Rosemont. I do not envy you having to choose because pretty much everybody here brought something. Wow. And they're all pretty amazing. And go ahead and pick a name tag. While you do that, we'll do this.

We'll be right back. Today's episode is brought to you in part by CISO. From the mines of Reno 9-11 and Comedy Bank Bank comes the third season of Bajillion Dollar Properties, the hilarious show set in the world of L.A. real estate. This season, the action gets even more cutthroat as the brokers of Platinum Reality compete to see who will write the foreword to their boss's memoir, all while selling the most ridiculous houses in town. Stream it all exclusively on Seesaw,

and get exclusive access to other amazing Seesaw original series, including the McElroy Brothers, My Brother, My Brother and Me, and Harmon Quest, as well as next day, late night, British cult comedy, stand-up specials, and binge-worthy classics, like all 42 seasons of SNL and the entire Monty Python catalog, all on demand and ad-free. Ready for the punchline? You can access CISO anytime, anywhere, on almost any device,

including iOS, Android, Roku, Amazon Fire TV, Windows, or Xbox One, for just $3.99 per month no joke just go to seeso.com right now to sign up for one month free with the promo code dlm at checkout that's cso.com s-e-e-s-o promo code d-l-m cso.com promo code d-l-m today's episode is also brought to you in part by our friends at squarespace whatever your next CISO.com, promo code DLM. Today's episode is also brought to you in part by our friends at Squarespace. Whatever your next big idea might be, count on Squarespace to help you create an eye-catching online platform that brings it to life. Whether you need a portfolio to showcase your work, a store to sell your products and services, or a blog to share your ideas,

Squarespace gives you everything you need to look like an expert right from the start. You even get a unique domain which strengthens your brand and makes it easier for visitors to find you. Plus, with Squarespace's award-winning templates, creating a beautiful website is a simple and intuitive process. You can add and arrange your content and features with the click of a mouse, and there's nothing to install, patch, or upgrade ever. Though if you do have a question, Squarespace's award-winning 24-7 customer support can help you with any problem, no matter how technical or trivial seeming.

Think of them as your very own IT department. So make your next move and start your free trial at squarespace.com today. Enter the code Doug to get 10% off your first purchase. That's D-O-U-G, Doug. All right, we're back. Lots of great stuff out there. Try not to be too disappointed, you guys. Let's start with Jeremy, who found more donuts.

I mean, wouldn't you? I'm playing for Star Wars Ewoks, the battle for Josh. And his shithead is facing the crowd, so I'm going to go ahead and close that. Yeah, there you go. Or here, you can just hand it to me, that part. And then give the donuts to Colt. So that he can just abuse people whenever he feels like it.

Here you go, boss. It's not a bad idea throwing the whole box at him. It's like the mother of all bombs, but donuts. Adam, what do you got there? That looks like a really creative one. This is, yeah, complicated. I don't really get all of it. It's Return of the Jesse.

I imagine I'm playing for a person called Jesse. That's Jesse there at the top, I guess. Yeah. Next to Darth Vader. Jeff Garlin is Yoda for some reason. I'm going to be honest. I don't get why Jeff Garlin is Yoda, but... Stop talking or I won't.

Yeah, but wait. You're not done. Hold it up. Oh. Bert Kreischer. Yeah. Me. Yeah, there you are you're not done. Hold it up. Bert Kreischer. Yeah. Me. Yeah, there you are.

Some black guy. Yeah, I also didn't know who that was, so I'm glad you said Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour.

Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour.

Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour.

Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour.

Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour.

Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour.

Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lamour. Otis Lam Asher as C-3PO? No. Almost. Shut up. Wait, wait. It's almost.

Who is it? Yeah, they're friends that wear the same glasses, same hairstyle, and have the same generally shitty attitude about things. The difference is one ate their spinach, one did not. Yeah, so that's Jesse. And also, what's probably an expensive lightsaber that I'm... Oh, there's a lightsaber too. Holy shit. Yeah, so that's Jesse. And also, what's probably an expensive lightsaber that I'm... Oh, there's a lightsaber too. Holy shit. Look at that.

What? It makes noise if you wave it around. I'm sure you've said that before. Yeah. It makes the noise of someone walking through wet grass. For some reason. It's a weird murderer's lightsaber. Like a cow eating.

Yeah, it's like one of those things you turn over. One of those deals. Yeah, well, thanks very much for my new lightsaber. I don't think you get to keep it. Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, save the battery because you never know there might be. It also makes a weird shh sound.

That's nice. Who are you playing with? Who are you playing for? All right. On behalf of. Yeah, I saw this movie, and for some reason, okay, the Reven... Oh, boy. The Rev... The Revgrant.

The Revgrant? Yeah, instead of the Revenant, it's the Revgrant. The Revenant. I couldn't think of the name of it. I saw this movie... Wait, why did you pick that? Well, I saw the movie, and so it's me... It's a picture of me giving my finishing move called the Billy Goats Curse to a bear.

With... With the greatest of respect, that is not what it looks like you're doing to that bear. Yeah, it looks like only a finishing move. Yeah, you look like you're doing to the bear what the bear did to Leonardo DiCaprio. I think that's the joke, yeah. Yeah. And then, oh man, there's a joke about wiping poo on the lips, and it's called a Schmittler. Okay, never mind. I just explain the jokes.

I don't tell them, all right? There's another name for that, but we'll save that for the Cinco de Mayo crowd. That's right. But I'm just happy that such a shittily drawn and conceived name tag made it up here

because it spoke to you directly made it for you someone's kid took their time and effort yeah so this is the you need to get that back to the refrigerator this is the name tags for for us by us. For bears. The wrestling fans. I'm also kind of a bear, I guess, but I'm not gay. All right. Well, excellent job, everybody. And there's a lot of donuts up here. So if at any point you feel like chucking one into the crowd, please, by all means, do so.

Stop laughing! Jesus Christ. I was almost collateral damage. All the way back there? Really? Okay. Oh, well. Let's start with a game called Purple Rain Man.

This is where I'm going to come up with a brand new mashup title. I'm going to tell you the third build people that would be in this mashup title movie, then the second, then the first. But you can guess as often as you like. First person, of course, just on stage, who gets the correct answer, wins this game. I don't want anyone in the audience to think, I have a chance at winning this thing. Do you need any further explanation does it make sense guess once or as many times

as many times you want but you know like Purple Rain Man would star Prince and Dustin Hoffman someone over there laughing at the thought of it that would have been a different movie than either of those other movies. Really would have taken it a different way. I wouldn't mind seeing Prince

slap the shit out of Rain Man. Yeah? Yeah. Like Rain Man's like, there's 700 toothpicks and Prince is like, shut up, and slaps him. I'd watch that.

Was he known to hate accurate estimates? No, he just lashed out at Apollonio. And that was his co-star in that one. All right. Adam, didn't you guys have Prince Dustin Hoffman over there? Okay, sorry. Oh, okay. Oh, God.

Edit that out. That's a green room cut. Third billing in this movie goes to Dave Bautista and Alan Rickman. Man, this is for me. Okay. Oh, this is for me. Okay. Oh, okay. Jeremy has a guess. Spirits of the Galaxy Quest.

That's correct! Ah! Yeah, second billing was Zoe Saldana and Sigourney Weaver, and first billing Chris Pratt and Tim Allen. Yeah, good job. You get to go first in this next game. Shit. Wait, that's bad?

Ah, Schmittler. This game is called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? Like I said, shit. I'll say a tagline from a print ad or a poster or somewhere. IMDb collects them, the taglines for these movies, and I'll lay one out for you. And you get to guess individually on this, so we'll start with Jeremy.

If he can't get it, then Adam gets a shot, and then Colt. What movie has the tagline, Family is worth fighting for? Family is worth fighting for. And it says it in that voice on the poster. Fast Five? I don't know know it's not a bad guess I mean it's a bad guess but incorrect anyway Adam Sophie's choice but she doesn't fight. She picks one. It's all internal. It's an internal battle.

Colt? First thing that comes to mind is Adventures in Babysitting. It's not even her family. It's our family. I'd say the little girl in Adventures of Babysitting is my favorite on-screen Thor. Oh, I'm gonna tell

Hemsworth. When you say it like that, it's such a butler's name, isn't it? Hemsworth. Hemsworth. Bring me my tea. The correct answer is a motion picture that starred Tom Hardy and Nick Nolte and a third guy, Joel Edgerton, I think.

It's called Warrior. Warrior. Let's try another one. Starting with you again, Jeremy. Every generation has a story. Yep, doesn't get more generic than that. Star Wars? So, you listen to this show, right?

Yeah You think there's a movie called Star Wars? You're right, it's the holiday special. Do you have a guess? I'm serious. Star Wars. I don't know. Let's say you were talking about the first Star Wars. What would you call it? Incorrect. Episode four.

All right. Moving on. Adam? I haven't a clue, so I'm going to guess this is a movie called Schmittler's List. That deserved a better laugh. Yeah, but if anybody says it again, I'm going to hit them with a donut. Real close. Colt?

Star Wars... Episode 7. Battle of the Sith. Return of the Jedi. He-Man. God damn it, you were so close. It's Force Awakens. What a terrible fucking tagline.

Well, every generation has a story, Adam. All right, let's start with you again, Jeremy. Shit. What movie had the tagline, They're headed for the big time. Oh, come on. Face first. Hang on, you guys.

I'm going to help you out here. I'm going to say another tagline from the same movie. And that one is, sometimes two heads are simply more than one. Sometimes two heads are simply more than one. What do you got, Jeremy? The audience has some ideas. there's some rumblings ready to rumble that's correct I thought I go like, oh shit.

We got another wrestling fan up here. I was like, I'll say the word rumblings and it'll be funny when nobody gets it because I just said it. I just watched it too. You did? Like a month ago. It's an Arquette and a Khan. Scott Khan and David Arquette.

And they're fucking wrestlers. Yeah, they are. You say that so nicely about them. Do you like that movie, Colt? It's awful. David Arquette went on to become the WCW heavyweight champion of the world after that, in real life.

He did? Yes. Yeah, and we're not breaking kayfabe here. That happened. That sounds rigged. All right, so... Jeremy's on the board. Would you like to throw a donut at somebody?

Sure. There you go. Oh, chocolate, look out. Oh, I kind of want to hit that sign with the lightsaber on it. Can you put that up again? Starting with you, Adam. All right. There's no script for what goes on outside the ring.

Um, is this the wrestler? No. Colt? The 1989 Geffen classic, No Holds Barred. Nope. Damn it. Jeremy? Mr. Nanny.

Those were all terrific guesses. I think I looked at the taglines for all of those films. But I went with this one because it's from Beyond the Mat. Yeah, through a curveball. It's a documentary from 1999. That one was amazing. Barry Blaustein.

It was in the theaters. Saw it in the theaters. Such a good movie. That's a good name tag for anyone called Matt for the next show. Just mainly giving name tag ideas at this point. Alright, here's a fun one. Jeremy won that game. You're cleaning up

today, Jeremy. Yeah. I may have underplayed it. Just for fun, whoever gets this one right in the audience will get a donut thrown at them very hard. So keep your eyes out, you guys. Let me know who answered first. He's not lean.

He's not mean. He's not your average hero. Oh, not your... He's not lean, he's not mean, he's Nacho Average Hero. So many people got it. We can't see what happens when the donut gets out there. That's just that noise is so... There's blood everywhere? You sure it just wasn't infused?

Some of these have tomato soup in them. All right, let's play one more game, and it's a classic called Last Man Stanton. Last Man Stanton. Jeremy will start us off again, but I like to play along on this one, so then I'll take a turn, and then Colt, and then Adam. We take turns naming movies.

That one particular person was in, and I've preselected an audience member to decide who that person is going to be tonight. I shouldn't say to decide. I'll decide based on how everybody feels about your suggestion. Where's Corey Dowd? Hey! Hey! Corey Dowd. Hey! It happens a lot.

The people that write to me on Twitter also got here early. Oh! Now he's got a couple of donuts. Which, you know. But you wrote to me on Twitter And you said that your friend Dustin Is celebrating a birthday But doesn't have a Twitter account Because he's an idiot?

I mean, that's, you know I don't think somebody's an idiot Just for not having a Twitter account Does he not have a computer? Because then, yes He might be an idiot. But where is he? You keep looking around.

He's way back there. If you don't have a computer, then he might be an idiot. Yeah, the first draft of that joke was a lot more general. All right, so Dustin, did you expect... It's your birthday? I've never heard a thumbs up before. Dude, get on Twitter, all caps, all the time. Yeah!

You get a pass on it. It's a human like button. So it's your birthday, and so your buddy here says you've got a suggestion for Last Man Stanton. Is that true? Okay. Wow, you just said that like you're getting married yeah also twitter couldn't capture this voice

hi everybody 140 characters can't encapsulate Dustin it's my birthday I do alright so Dustin It's my birthday, I do! I do! Alright, so Dustin... Oh, and also you guys each get one lifeline, which is the person whose name tag you chose.

By the way, they sat Dustin at the back because they realized we couldn't handle his personality. Or you know what? Maybe he's sitting right in the second row. So vibrant. So many good years ahead of him. Like, he's so far back there that I don't even know what he looks like.

And I kind of like that about you, Dustin. You look like Jonah Ray. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? That chick said it's good. Reviews are mixed. Depends on how much you want to look like someone whose clothes should maybe go up a size that's more of a like Jonah Rays a hipster joke like he's all of his clothes are a little small he looks good though he's got a second season of his

show on seesaw is available now So Might as well plug my friend while I'm roasting him So Dusty, do your friends call you Dusty? Close ones Is that you implying that I'm not good enough? I'm in the inner circle. All right. That's good news, Dusty.

Is your name going to... Are you going to suggest Dusty Hoffman? Good. What do you got for us? Sarah Silverman. Good night. I mean, I'm fine with that, but that seems unfair

because I would know the film she's been in because I've known her that whole time. And she'd be like, I'm going off to film this now. And I'd be like, I'm going to remember that for trivia someday. How do you guys feel about it? Is that a rough one?

Yeah. Well, if you want us all to say one. Well, then your lifeline will get to say one, and then it'll be a squeaker. We'll see who can pull this off. All right. Yeah, okay. Okay. Is that Michael Sheen?

Is Michael Sheen here? Okay, Jeremy, start us off. Sarah Silverman movie. Do her stand-up concerts count? How dare you you I mean cause you have strict rules I do have strict rules

and she did do a stand up special that was technically a movie but when you say specials I don't know

how many of them would be a movie I'll just say it say it right you gotta say it right. Sarah Silverman, colon. Me and my prostate. You can do it, Jeremy.

Jesus is magic? Yes! Correct. I'll take a tough one off your hands, so I won't take one that you guys will think of. How about Pittsburgh? Oh. Right?

Thanks, Doug. You're a good guy. Where I'll be on June the 10th for IWCRwrestling.com. Was Pittsburgh like a shitty Philadelphia knockoff? Yeah. Instead of getting AIDS, it was about giving AIDS.

I think that's on their water tower. All right, Adam. Oh, it's me. Oh, sorry, Colt. School of Rock. Yes. Now we're at you, Adam. Oh, sorry.

Wreck-It Ralph. Wreck-It Ralph, that's right. I kept on trying to think what that was, and in my head it was only Q-Bert the movie. That would have been such a bummer. Why hasn't that happened? Oh, Q-Bert is in it. Yeah, but imagine it was called Q-Bert the movie,

and he's only in it for like five seconds. I have one in my back pocket. Josh, you got one? Oh, you're going to go to your lifeline. It's clever. Oh, shit. You got to repeat it for the listeners. There's something about Mary.

There's something about Mary, yes. Very good. I was going to scold him because that was kind of half in the pocket. Which half? I will say Heartbreakers. Let me just take this out real quick.

Oh, that was the other one? And you used your lifeline? Yeah. Oh, Jeremy's in trouble. Jeremy's smoking. Colt? I got like 12 in the back pocket, but I'll go to Grant's. She's in Bulworth? Okay.

But he said it like it was just an old timey swear He's just kind of like Bullworth Show it Bullworth I go with Bullworth Yeah alright Seems like she might have been in that Seems legit

I seem to remember her saying something about Warren Beatty I'm feeling you're not going to take Wreck-It Ralph 2 So I'm going to go... What about Qbert 2? They call it Tubert, for fuck's sake. My Lifeline. Help me out, Jesse.

Ooh, Evolution with David Duchovny and Julianne Moore. Nice work. Now, unfortunately, we're back to you Jeremy you get another one pop into your head she's such a good actress but I'm not placing it right I'm not just saying that oh Oh, I just thought of one. Oh, fuck you. Do you want to throw a donut? Would that make you feel better? Maybe a little bit. Okay.

It really clears your head to throw a donut. Oh, right there. Nice. Did that help? No. Let's see. How about... Yeah, you say it like that, it sounds like you're really going to say something.

How about... Try this on for size and then nothing. Oh, yeah, I remember. She was the friend in Shallow Hal. Shallow Hal? Something like that. No. No, no, yeah, totally.

Nice try, though. All right. That was Jason Alexander. So close. All right, so Jeremy's out, but great job, dude. You really showed up. Sorry, Josh. Played strong all the way to the end,

but you got to get to the end. That's the thing that happens. I'm going to go with Take This Waltz. Colt? Saving Silverman. No shit. I almost pulled that out of my ass

but I was like no way. So let's go with Shallow Hal. Same era. Right? Nailed it. Adam you're up.

Colt would you like to throw a donut? Fuck. Don't hurt anybody. Did Dustin get a birthday donut? Which one are you? The Jonah Ray looking motherfucker? Oh.

I'm pretty sure he gets to walk to first after that. Jesus Christ. Fucking hell. Fucking hell. Fucking hell. If I was trying to hit the wall, I would have hit him in the face. Is being hit by a donut a pre-existing condition?

Yep. Sorry, dude. You're not going to be able to get any help for that. I'll take a guess. What? Oh. Mine were joke answers. You're not going to be able to get any help for that. I'll take a guess. What? Oh, mine were joke answers.

No, you're out. Oh. Yeah. I just let you throw a donut just because, you know. Yeah. Adam's going to finish this off right now. I feel like such a dirtbag because all I'm thinking is the one where she got naked. But I don't know what the fuck it's called. Oh, fuck.

He said it. Well, yeah, she's naked and take this waltz also, but I know what you're talking about. Oh, fuck. Yeah. What's the one where she just yelled about an old Jewish guy for four hours? Oh, wait, that was just the election. I'm out. I'm out.

I've got nothing. She yelled about Bernie? Yeah. But nonetheless, you're our winner because you lasted the longest. Fuck. I never won a game on this show. Oh, well, congratulations. She's got a great scene

at the beginning of a movie called The Way of the Gun. Yeah. Yeah. And what else do we miss, you guys? I smile back. I smile guys? I smile back. I smile back. I smile back.

Tig. Tig? A million ways to die in the waste. Oh, yeah. I want somebody to cheese with, with the great Jeff Garlin. Super Jaime. Super Jaime, that's right. I blow smoke in her face.

She goes, I'm not your cat, Doug. And I'm like, I don't have a cat. Tag, you're it. Tag, you're it. All right. Well, I think we all did a great job of... Alright well I think we all did a great job Of Recapping

Recapping Sarah's movie career What's that thing she was in with Al Pacino No No not Scarface. Is he like a sarcastic child or something? Doug kicks you out of the show now. Maybe it wasn't Pacino.

It might have been a different older guy, but she was in something with an older guy. Huh? Look. It was like somebody's name or something. Oh, Jesus Christ. She's not in Manglehorn. Again, that sounds like an old-timey swear, too.

Bullwhip! Manglehorn! Like two old fucking prospectors yelling at each other. I heard Bengalheart. Bengalheart is what you get when someone throws a fucking donut right at you. Now I just want to look it up just because it's driving me crazy. Mandelhorn!

Inspector Gadget? I saw it on a plane. Phil Spector Gadget. That's a good mashup. Go, go, Gadget. Prostitute murder. As an actress, she has 101 credits Holy shit But they're not all feature films

Pop star never stop never stopping She appeared in that Oh she was in Punching Henry But that's not what I was thinking about Ashby she's in a movie called Ashby And Let's see if that was... And instead of Mickey, it was Mickey Rourke.

So apologies to Al Pacino. Who is, in fact, Manglehorn. That sounds like a Sarah Silverman movie. Apologies to Al Pacino. It's the smash of Sundance. That's perfect. But let's do some plugs, you guys. Starting with Jeremy.

Asapopcult.com for all of our back episodes. Start with like 125. It took you 125 eps to get it going? Well, the first 100 we were being catfished. That's the whole story. 125 eps to get it going? Well, the first 100 we were being catfished, so that's the whole story.

But, uh... I've never said that publicly. Icon vs. Icon.com is also a website that I write for, and Jason Price, who runs Icon vs. Icon, he's the co-host on my show and look for Burt Reynolds' new movie

Dog Ears written and directed by my boss Adam Rifkin just premiered at Tribeca to applause. What do you

you keep calling him your boss what do you do for him? That's a good question. Do a lot. Started as an assistant, and now he's kind of mentoring me. We're writing some

scripts on spec. Yeah, he's made a bunch of movies. Yeah. He's a good guy. Dark backward? Yep. My wife's shit. My wife! My wife! It was like, I stepped on my own mind. An hour and 36 minutes stepped on my mind. An hour and 36 minutes without saying my wife.

And then you gave in. So my wife, the spouse, has a dark backward shirt on right now, as a matter of fact. Oh, okay. Neat. How do you know which way to put that shirt on? It's got a little baby hand out the back. Okay. But, yeah, that's it for me.

All right. Jeremy Morrison, everybody. Oh, and go eat at Villanova. My kids need to go to college. Wait, what? My in-laws, they own a restaurant. What was that first thing you said, though? Go eat at Villanova. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I don't know what any of that meant. Adam! Why don't your kids just go to Villanova? You know, whenever they're playing on TV, I get very confused. That's not Victor. Adam Burke, since you're our winner today, I forgot to ask you, are you interested in coming back on the next show and trying to maintain your title?

I'd love to, Doug. Thanks. All right. We'll talk about that after. Yeah. All right. We'll work that out. But in the meantime, what do you got to plug?

We'll work that out. But in the meantime, what do you got to plug? Just adambergcomedy.com, all my shows, and I'll be at the White Rabbit Cabaret in Indianapolis on June 15th. You don't have to make up the names of places. It's twinned with the funny ranch. The White Rabbit Cabaret. Yeah, yeah. It does say that 100% sounds made up.

You're right. Yeah. All right. Colt Cabana. All right. Twitter and Instagram. Banana Cabana. You can buy my new shirts,

Banana Cabana. Twitter and Instagram at Colt Cabana. My Wrestling Road Diaries documentaries, one through three, are at colt cabana uh my wrestling road diaries documentaries one through three are at coltmerch.com they're on dvd and download i have a podcast where i talk with different wrestlers about the struggles in wrestling it's called the art of wrestling i have upcoming shows chicago cleveland pittsburgh new jersey maine seattle cardiff gainesville austin uh in june i'm touring all of Australia. Well, not all of it. Five places.

That's essentially all of it. And if you're going to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year, I will be there with Brendan Burns doing our comedy show at 1020 every single night. All that information is at coltcobana.com. And you can wave to me on my billboards for one hour teas here in Chicago. Why 1020 every night? Because it's 420 somewhere? That's right.

I've never smoked weed before. How come that time? The Fringe is weird. It's just like there's about 4,500 shows. Weird start times? Yeah, there's 4,500 shows going on at the Fringe so it's just like there's uh there's about 4,500 shows yeah 40 there's 4,500 shows going on at the fringe so it's just kind of there's shows all day at that venue and that's kind of how it evened out to be at 10 20 all right yeah that's neat and the show the show is we watch bad wrestling and make fun of it and it's pretty great yeah how many years

you've been doing that now this is gonna be my fifth year returning to ed. Wow. Yeah. Sure. June 3rd, Douglas Movies is back at the Comedy Zone in Charlotte, North Carolina. And we still got a few more donuts if you guys want to chuck them. Yes, I do. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. That sounded like something broke Sorry That sucked for you I know it did

Sorry Sorry nice lady Send me the cleaning bill The glaze stuck to my hand Yeah we don't care who your shit is Adam because you won Huh? Oh yeah yeah

Yeah yeah But we gotta give the prizes to that person What's the name of the person you're playing for? Uh Jesse Jesse come get your prizes And your lightsaber Where's Jesse at? Come on Jesse There's that lightsaber. Where's Jesse at? Come on, Jesse.

He's had a lightsaber again. And you get a donut yarmulke. I'm just pelting Dustin over there or trying to just hitting people he's sitting with thank you I can't thank the Zanies here in Rosemont or you guys enough because the shows here are always

great and always full and I really appreciate it one more time for all of my guests, Banana Cabana, Adam Burke, Jeremy Morrison. And as always... These are interestingly related to each other. Chicago drivers are a shithead. And comics who make me commute to Rosemont for their shows are a shithead. me commute to Rosemont for their shows.

Alright, shit. Thanks again to Cabbage with a K for sponsoring today's episode. Cabbage created a simple way for businesses to get flexible access to up to $100,000. Visit cabbage.com slash Doug and you'll get a $100 Visa gift card when you qualify.

That's K-A-B-B-A-G-E dot com slash Doug. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves

movies!