Doug Loves Movies - Colt Cabana, Ramon Rivas II and Graham Elwood guest

Episode Date: May 6, 2016

Live from Zanies in Rosemont, IL, Doug welcomes Colt Cabana, Ramon Rivas II and Graham Elwood to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody My name is Doug, and I love Hispanics. Doug loves Hispanics. I'm going to change my podcast every time Donald Trump says he loves something. I'm going to make the whole room chant that.

No, of course I love movies, and this is Doug Loves Movies, and thank you to all the people who came out to Rosemont, Illinois. What is this, like a city of the future? What do you call it? It's a business park? What the fuck?

I love there's a sign when you're walking in. It's all here, and I'm like, you know what, they're right fuck? I love there's a sign when you're walking in. It's all here. And I'm like, you know what? They're right because I want to drink a beer and do some indoor skydiving. And there's ten places here to do one of those things and one place to do the other. It's all here, you guys.

They probably even sell beer at the indoor skydiving. What did I leave out? Oh, that's right. It's Cinco de Hayo. I think we're going on... This is the third annual Cinco de Hayo Douglas movies at Zany's in Rosemont. Because, you you know I love

Going over to Adobe Gillis Before and after the show To celebrate My love of Hispanics I had a quesadilla With some chicken in it Really hit the spot It's no taco bowl

or whatever the fuck Trump was eating. It's redundant to mention that it's May 5th, but it is Thursday in 2016. Did anyone bring some flan for me to throw at them? Oh, donuts, typical. Somebody wrote to me today on Twitter going, can I bring cupcakes?

Will you throw those at me? And I was like, sounds like we need a private sesh. I'd like to just throw cupcakes at a naked lady. Very hard. Because cupcakes are really soft, aren't they? Maybe not. Maybe not soft enough to throw hard at someone. But anyway, thank you for bringing those donuts, dude,

and good luck. Last night, there were tons of donuts here. None of the guests picked donuts. Yeah, so I don't know what that was about. Let me see your name tags, everybody. Whoa. Holy shit. It was pretty impressive last night,

but tonight is what I like to call NL, next level. We got Cliff Hanger, because there's a gentleman whose name is Hanger. Brent instead of Rent. I love that Deadpool is wearing a Rent shirt in part of

the movie. That cracked me up. I watched it two times on a plane yesterday. The day before yesterday. No, yesterday. Rhinestone, instead of Rhinestone, the classic Stallone, Dolly Parton movie. No-s-fer-rob-you. So your name is Rob. Pass that over to me.

Everyone's got to see the beauty of this thing. See? Look at how hard you all worked. Fucking Nosferatu skates in with this. It might get chosen. It is a pretty good... Do you draw lots of things well

or do you just know how to draw a Nosferatu face? Because it's a really good Nosferatu face. Becca to the a really good Nosferatu face. Becca to the future. She worked much harder than you. You're here together? She didn't have time to finish yours, so she...

Jacob the liar? That was the name of the movie, right? All right, I'm overwhelmed. I can't... Oh, we got Nate Wars. You weren't here for... Oh, shit! See what happens?

I don't know what that means. See what happens when you knock a glass over? Are you okay over there? All the glass went on the floor, I hope. Shit. So, uh... I apologize to the staff here at the club, but I don't

know which I need quicker, to have this cleaned up or a new drink. I should probably go with cleaning it up somehow. Is there somebody that's got a rag or something that can help out? Because I need a clean table. This is a lesson, you guys. Get a second table for your drink because there's important stuff on here. Oh, what is this, by the way? This is a new trend that started here in Rosemont that I do not care for. I feel terrible about this,

so you have to come up here and clean this up. So be careful with the... There's some broken glass there. Yeah, you know how... Like, he's never done this before. My first day at Zany's, I had to clean up a broken glass.

Oh, and a new drink is coming, too. You guys are the best. Thank you. And if I was much funnier than I am, I would immediately smash this glass. But feelings of guilt get in my way of feelings of great comedy. Thank you, smash

Another Okay, so Thanks, dude So No There'll be an extra joint in his stocking He's gonna be like How did Doug Benson get this in my sock? There'll be an extra joint in his stocking. He's gonna be like,

how did Doug Benson get this in my sock? Okay, so this is some crazy puzzle box that you have to be a genius to open. And it's also heavy. See, it rattles. There's shit in there. But you gotta figure out how to open it. Like, we're gonna fuck with Doug Benson. And give him one of these goddamn unopenable boxes

where there's some sort of trick to it. Do you want to try? Okay, she's gonna work on that. Thank you. You should have handed it back to me with the lid back on and I'd be back at square zero. So how did you do it? How'd you first get it loose, though?

I loosened it. That old story. All right, so here's a business card that's also crazy. It's a thick plastic business card, and it says D-Q-I-A-S-E-R creations. D-Q laser creations. There you go. You got a plug.

I bet you're going to sell a lot of whatever it is you do. Oh, there's a couple cards in there because you know how I love to have things to throw out. And these are pretty awesome coasters, I guess, with my caricature on them. There's different styles of... Oh, and this one's just got a heart on it. Yeah, because they...

You know, that's probably what they normally have on it. Oh, oh, I get it. Duh. There's some in here that have a camera on them, too. That is why Doug Solves Puzzles is not a podcast. Smash.

Thanks, dude. One for each pocket. Appreciate it. All right. I've wasted way too much time here. I got to do some plugs. I've got, I think tickets are available for Saturday still? A few.

That's comedy club speak for plenty of room. No, it's over. It's an intimate room to begin with, so we're in pretty good shape for Saturday, But come on down and we'll get people on stage and bring name tags to that show at the end. We'll play some Last Man Stanton. You can see how tough it is when you're actually up here. And Doug Loves Movies is coming to Boise, Idaho

for the first time on Sunday, May 15th at 4.20. Hold your woos until the end, sir or ma'am. Weird lady. Monday. Monday, May 16th. Oh yeah. Douglas Movies is going to be at the UCB Theater Sunset Boulevard location in Los Angeles. And then we just added this

in St. Louis at the new Helium Comedy Club that they have there. Yeah, you know. On Wednesday, the 25th of May, we're going to do a Douglas Movies and then a stand-up show the next night, which was already on sale. So apologies if you would rather go to Douglas Movies and you already bought a stand-up ticket. But both shows, I can guarantee, will be a gas. DouglasMovies.com

for more dates and back episodes of the show. We just put another season on sale. And the prize bag today... Coincidentally, a guy that can't make it to the show but bought two tickets left them here in an envelope. So whoever wins today, maybe you already have tickets but if you don't or you want

to bring friends, two tickets for Saturday's Douglas movies. The Frolic on Twitter is the guy's name. So thank you for that, Chris. I brought a bowl from Peacemaker, a rubber bowl that's...

You know what to do with it. I got some from my hotel room, some coffee. Looks like it's particularly tasty. I saved one for myself because sometimes you need to open up a bag of coffee before you check out because your room might smell. And... This seems like a puzzle, so I'm going to put it with the other puzzle.

Who brought this puzzle box thing? Am I supposed to keep it? Or am I supposed to put it in the prize bag? What? I get enough free stuff? He just goes, you get enough free stuff. Do the right thing. No, I'm fucking happy to put it in the bag.

But I also do kind of love it. It's really well done. It's really a nice item. So congratulations to the winner today. Okay. Is everything... Oh, of course. A couple VHS tapes.

Yeah. They're over there. A Zany's beanie. It's the perfect color for crossing the dangerous streets of Rosemont. Hey, keep reaching back in there, because that's in there now. And for my VHS collection, I got... Oh, this is an episode of the show The PJs. Yeah. Oh, this is an episode of the show The PJs?

Yeah. Eddie Murphy did most of the voices. It's a pretty funny show, actually. Oh, and this is the pilot presentation for a sketch show that didn't last very long on the WB called Hype. So you get that on VHS. So, yeah. Those are reasons to reinvest in a VHS

get a VCR you know you can probably get one that does that and DVDs and then you can sit around going well what about my Blu-rays and what about them I say alright let's get my guests out here yeah

this should be a fun one please give a big warm welcome to Ramon Rivas II All right, let's get my guests out here. Yeah. This should be a fun one. Please give a big warm welcome to Ramon Rivas II, Colt Cabana, and Graham Elwood. Take control, Rosemont. Take control, Rosemont. Take control of your mall town. Take control of your seasonal skating rink. AstroTurf in the summer. Your AstroTurf that is covered in dog shit and vomit.

I don't believe that to be true. Yeah, I just had my CSI light out there, and that's a for real fact. Oh, thanks, Doc. That's pretty accurate. I like, you know, usually the audience agrees by nodding quietly but

sometimes you just gotta say, man. It's fucking Cinco de Mayo. Woo! White guys with sombreros. People brought their sombreros. Perfect. Finally I can nap in public.

Those aren't even that big, those sombreros. Are they sombreros for children? They're cheap on Amazon. They're cheap everywhere. You went sombreros for children? They're cheap on Amazon. Oh, all right. They're cheap everywhere. You went sombrero shopping on Amazon? I'm not paying six bucks at a Walmart. I'm not leaving the house.

Uh-uh. They have matching ones, too. Frank, I got you one. It's just like mine. Let's go similar on the shirts as well. We'll both wear button-up summer shirts that are a little bit too small. All right, tie-dye Superman.

Yeah. Graham giving anyone fashion tips is ridiculous. Come on. Great thing about tie-dye, don't need to iron the shirt. I mean, you still need to, but you didn't. Yeah. Let's meet everybody individually. Doug loves shirts is a whole other thing.

Dougloveshirts.com I thought it was.org. I'm sorry. No, it's not a... Dougloveshirts is a whole other thing. Dougloveshirts.com. I thought it was.org. I'm sorry. No, it's not a... It should be a non-for-profit. It's not a non-profit. We take all the dollar we make. The pennies I get from each shirt sale,

I put it right in the old pocket. Let's say hello to a first-time guest on the show. Very excited to have him. It's Colt Cabana, everybody. I apologize. I forgot what day it was. It's Colt Cabana. Hey.

How you doing, man? I'm great. I'm so excited to be on the show. That's so awesome that like somebody on Twitter hit me up, said, you know, man? I'm great. I'm so excited to be on the show. That's so awesome that somebody on Twitter hit me up, said, hey, you know, Cole Cabana wants to be on the show or listens to the show. And I just DM'd you, and you were like,

yeah, I'm in. I was like, that's so awesome. That's how it works. And that someone, Sam Roberts, our friend Sam Roberts. That was Sam that did that? I'm glad you remember no no I think

Sam might have mentioned it but it was like a fan that just on Twitter just reached out to me and suggested it that made me act on it Sam's a fan of yours yeah but he's not Sam on Twitter

I know it was him but I also do know that Sam Robots loves the fucking wrestlers right he's all about wrestling yeah and so

has he been on your podcast The Art of Wrestling well I only I only do my podcast with other wrestlers so how

like you know stand up comedy you get up once you can call yourself a comedian how many times do you have to wrestle to get on your show

and would you be interested in a wrestling match where the winner gets to be on your show, and would you be interested in a wrestling match where the winner gets to be on your show? Like people that don't normally wrestle. Yes, yes. I'm in. Yeah, Graham Elwood versus Sam Robots. Does, yeah, does palm striking

count as professional wrestling? I think so. Oh, okay, well that's gonna get ugly. Yeah, man, I've been listening forever. I love the show. That's that's going to get ugly. Yeah, man. I've been listening forever. I love the show. That's awesome. I listen every week or twice a week.

Yeah, whenever. Sometimes. It's out all the time. So you have a heavy podcast regimen? You listen to a lot of stuff? I do. So you're listening while you work out? Is that the deal?

Yes. Nice. If I did that, if I worked out while I did these podcasts, I'd be in much better shape. I've found myself doing a bench press and laughing really hard at something. You never hurt yourself, though, have you? I've never hurt myself.

Yeah, because I laugh too. I was watching Hannibal Buress' Netflix special on the elliptical today. You don't have to applaud. Give it up for ellipticals, you guys. It's no big thing. Anybody can do it. As you often see when you're staying in a hotel

and you're using the hotel gym, a child in shoes can do it. I meant without shoes. But anyway. But I was laughing out loud at some of the shit Hannibal was saying. And every time I look around I'm embarrassed and nobody else cared.

But it is interesting how laughter can really... I'm waiting to get... Now you got sued for something somebody said on The Art of Wrestling? Yeah. And you said the other day, you're like, oh, I can't wait for the first person. I was like, you can't get sued, and it turns out you can.

See, Twitter jumps in with everything. If this audience doesn't yell at me about it, Twitter will the next day. And somebody said, yeah, you got sued. And is that all done? Is it over? It's still ongoing. That was the most expensive episode I've ever put out for free.

And you can't talk about it? It's still ongoing. That was the most expensive episode I've ever put out for free. And you can't talk about it? There's a movie line in here to rebuttal to you. Just say no. Don't fuck yourself up anymore. As legal counsel for Cole Cabana, Doug, he at this time cannot answer that. I'm sorry, but you know what an investigative journalist I am. And that I will dig until I get there. So I'll ask you one more

time. Can you talk about tell the truth? I knew you were going there and I was so excited. I was so excited you were going to say that. That would be funny if just investigative journalists just start screaming that and putting the microphone in people's faces.

If I ever get a chance, I want to say that to Trump sometime. Okay, so thank you for being here. It's awesome. And we won't discuss your lawsuit any further other than to say that that sucks that you're going through that and that it costs money and hopefully it'll all work out in the end.

On behalf of my client, fuck that guy. Thank you. Well, here's something I learned recently is that lawyers on both sides cost money and so you gotta fucking win to get that money back. Yeah, I can't win money out of this. The best scenario... The best scenario is you get back all the money you had to spend.

No, not even that. You can't get your costs recouped. The best scenario is you get back all the money you had to spend. No, not even that. You can't get your costs recouped? The best scenario is it just all gets dropped and I've lost a shitload of money on a lawyer. That sucks. USA! USA! USA!

USA! Why don't you do like a GoFundMe or something for getting all that money? When it's all said and done. I've got that and I want to start a podcast movie that I'm going to do too. Cool, cool. All right. That was a shot at grab that no one...

No one picked up on. Shot quietly fired. We'll have a podcast movie festival. It'll be great. I was just thinking from a marketing standpoint. Oh shit, we'll merge the fuck out of that. Well, it'll be great. I was just thinking from a marketing standpoint, oh, shit, we'll merch the fuck out of that. Well, it'll be great. Colt likes to put a silencer on his insults

before firing him off. Ramon Rivas II is here, everybody. Hello, hello. Veteran of the 12 Guests of Christmas in New York. Yes, I almost won. You almost got there. Went too hard. Is that what happened?

Yeah, in the last game. I just didn't understand it. And I feel like this time I'll be less daring. Okay. It's going to be different games then on that show. Fuck, okay. Then I train for nothing. You'll be all right.

Oh, shit, I forgot to ask Colt what you brought for the prize bag. Yeah, I got a lot of fun stuff down here. A lot of stuff, yeah. You want me to get into it? If you don't mind. All right. I produced and funded two money losers. Thank you.

Two movies, The Wrestling Road Diaries and The Wrestling Road Diaries 2, documentaries based off of the life of an independent professional wrestler. I have a third one coming out very soon which is based off of comedy wrestling and these are professional wrestler. I have a third one coming out very soon which is based off of comedy wrestling. And these are both signed. These are for whoever. I got... Are those available

for sale anymore? Yeah. Oh, Graham, bless you. Bless you. ColtCabana.com and TheWrestlingRoadDiaries.com. Here is a t-shirt. Oh, shit. It's a T-shirt. Oh, shit. It's a T-shirt, everybody.

The greatest actor of all time, Andre the Giant, is on here. It's a company called Pro Wrestling Tees, which is ran by One Hour Tees. And if you are from this area, you've seen me on the billboard flexing. And then I've got some randoms here. Some accidents. This is a Netflix. That's a Netflix envelope. Can I give that away? I don't, sure.

What are they supposed to do, watch it, then just put it in the mail? For me, if you could. This is a... Honestly, I think you're in enough legal hassle right now. Schmetflix. The goods live hard, sell hard. Wow. Directed by Neil Brennan, a guest of the show. And then, back in the day,

when you could get Netflix, just like this one, and then I would return it, but I would make copies for myself just for reference. And then I would draw, I would try to draw, like myself, I would try to draw the DVD art on there. So these are two DVDs with my art on here. DVD-R. One is Van Wilder 2,

The Rise of Taj. And the other one is Roddy Piper's Hell Comes to Frogtown. You have the best Netflix queue I've ever heard in my entire life.

I love Van Wilder 2 because it should have been called Van Wilder 2, Van Wilder not included. Such a weird thing to make a sequel with the guy's name in it. I can't wait for Larry Crown 2. I heard Tom Hanks isn't available, though. Yeah, but they got the scooter. Oh, the scooter's going to be back. And then this is a movie prop, actually. This was in the movie The Wrestler, and it's a flyer.

It's been in my trunk for the last probably seven years, I'd say. This is when Judah Freelander was handing out flyers to come to the show, and I'm actually on the flyer. Whoa. Yeah. So my movie debut. Somebody gave that to me. Pass all that stuff over here. the flyer whoa yeah so my movie debut somebody gave that to me pass all that stuff over here what a great bunch of things yeah that's really cool very good and for the listeners I should just say

that the Netflix envelope is just the inner envelope so you can't even mail it back I guess that if you if the winner has Netflix you can't even mail it back. I guess that if you, if the winner has Netflix, you can watch this movie and then stick it in with one of your other movies and send it back. But do people even

do this anymore? I don't think so, man. I do. I do because I fly a lot and I just want to have emergency movies on hand but I rarely swap them out. Like I've had the same

five movies for probably five years. Long time. Because now movies, they're showing more movies on flights. They're showing uncut stuff. But I watched Deadpool a couple times on the last couple flights I was on. They cut out all the nudity and

leave in all the swearing and the violence. Like a little kid looks over and sees a guy's head being lopped off. No big deal. But looks over and sees a lady's tit. Someone's gonna freak out. But then other movies on the plane

are unedited and certainly the ones people are watching on their own devices are unedited. So you're always catching glimpses of nasty shit walking around on a plane. I remember watching We're the Millers and it was just on the seat in front of me and they show penis on that. And I was super embarrassed

about it. Because you were whacking off and that's alright. It's okay. It's natural. Ramon, what do you have for the prize bag? I got a couple things. I have a poster of me smoking a joint riding a sandwich. Of course you do.

Is that available anywhere online? I wish that wasn't the only one. Like you just drew that and rolled it up. You can get it on my website blazer ramon.com is my website uh so there's that uh and then i have one of my festival shirts for accidental comedy fest it's a festival i do in cleveland i have a shirt a wristband and a pin and then a flyer for this year and then if you'll come to cleveland you can have a pass for the whole weekend whoa damn and then a flyer for this year, and then if you'll come to Cleveland, you can have a pass for the whole weekend. Whoa!

Damn! The Come to Cleveland Challenge. Will today's winner take him up on it? If it's still standing after the Republican National Convention, you can come. But it's August 26th through 28th. The convention is? No, the festival.

Come for the Klan rally. Stay for the comedy party. And Graham Elwood is here. Yay! Yay, Rosebot Doug, I have a Whistling Banes t-shirt With the Never Ending World Tour On the back

A lot of tour dates FYI, the Gotham Stadium is closed They're doing a renovation So that tour date's not happening. I'll be in the lobby selling these. And, of course, it's available at ComedyFilmNerds.com, where you can also get this book, The Comedy Film Nerd's Guide to Movies.

Is there going to be, like, a follow-up book? Is there plans in the works? Yeah, we were talking about doing a sub-genre book, but then we got busy making Earbuds, which will be plans in the works? Yeah, we were talking about doing a sub-genre book, but then we got busy making Earbuds, which will be out in the fall. Yeah, Earbuds will be... We're going to announce next week we're in a pretty cool festival,

a film festival, so we can announce that next week. So keep following. A full title though, please. Earbuds, the podcasting documentary. There you go. You get a point. Yeah, I'm in there saying some nonsense. I don't know what I was talking about. I thought it was about

deaf earbuds. Actually, Doug says in the movie that he wants to start a cult and get everybody to kill themselves Shh I've only got them to the making crazy name tag stage Alright cool That's our sequel

Yeah let's be cool about it. Until earbuds comes out. What was the last movie you saw, Graham? I actually, on the plane this morning, watched a wonderful film called Point Break. The remake is awesome. I loved it. Oh, you tricked us.

Yeah, Point Break 2015 we're talking about. Why did you watch it? You'd seen everything else that was available? Yes. That was absolutely why. I'd seen everything else and I wasn't going to watch How to Be Single. There's no fucking way on this earth. I'd rather watch guys base jump with no plot

than fucking this is how you be a singer, woman. Like, I'm not watching that, so... Again with the accurate impressions. I love... I must say, I love the point-brank purists from that piece of cinematic

gold in the 90s where it's like... It's with Keanu Reeves going, I got tipped today. I love your stance. But the thing is, Graham, that that is a key difference, though, is that this movie is probably the same dumbass movie. No. But it doesn't have two charismatic movie stars.

Like, Keanu and Patrick Swayze were famous before Point Break even happened. Yeah. You know what I mean? So like that's part of the mystique and the fun of that movie

even though the performances are a little kooky. Like Gary Busey that should have been like when he's like pretending to surf on a desk

we should all went oh that's how this guy's gonna be from now on. Oh that's this guy is fucking gone be from now on. This guy is fucking gone. The guy who played the sensitive guy who played Buddy Holly in that movie and got an Oscar nomination,

that guy's never coming back. Oh, this was definitely the window into his future when he's all like, alright, Johnny Utah, you're young, dumb, and full of cum. He's out of his gourd, so there isn't any of that. I got us some hoagies. They're surfers.

Now I'm doing Jim from Taxi or whatever, but... Oh, Marty, they're surfers and they're robbing banks. I loved Reverend Jim in Back to the Future. So, let's move on because... Wait, did you actually really like the new one? We can complain about pointless break remakes all day. Here is why I liked it. They actually, the thing that I did like was they were these like 99 percenters that were, you know, extreme eco-terrorists or whatever.

When I say it out loud it doesn't seem as awesome as I felt at the point. But... I think you were sitting there the whole time going, I could be an eco-terrorist. terrorists or whatever. When I say it out loud it doesn't seem as awesome as I felt before. I think you were sitting there the whole time going, I could be an eco-terrorist. Where do I sign up? Are there any job openings? This is my eco-terrorist shirt. I was inspired to save the world by stealing

diamonds and letting it rain on a poor village. Pat Swayze didn't do that. Boom. Point. Break. Thank you. Colton, a guy in the audience. Someone owes somebody a Coke.

Mr. Cabana, what was the last movie you saw? Did you ever end up seeing Keanu? I did. Yeah, I saw... Thank you for your concern. Most importantly. It was a traumatic time in my life. I'm glad I got through it.

I saw that in the theaters, and that was the best episode of Key and Peele I've seen so far, I think. You thought it took their show up a notch or two. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they certainly can swear a lot more in it. Man, even I felt uncomfortable with that. Yeah, they dropped some Fs and some other letters.

Yeah. And then I watched, yesterday, I watched I Smile Back on Amazon Prime. Oh. And. Oh. That was my friend's in that, but she's also naked. Emotionally. Yeah.

And the husband. It's a troubling film. The husband, he will never be anything but the wiener dog guy in the babysitter movie. Oh, Josh Charles? I don't know. The babysitter's dead? The guy who goes on the runway with his wiener dog outfit and don't tell mom the babysitter's dead. That's all he'll ever be to me.

And all the fashion people are like, that has to be the fallout. I just remember him from around that time also being in Threesome with Laura Flynn Boyle and Stephen Baldwin. Was he wearing the wiener dog outfit? But he's been, that dude's done a lot of

good stuff, you You know Sports night And good wife And shit like that Yeah SWAT SWAT Isn't he also Hey you guys

This isn't the end of A round of Last Man Stanton Everybody starts yelling out Every Josh Charles vehicle Whiskey Tango Foxtrot He's in that? Yeah he's her boyfriend I haven't seen it Is it good? Yeah I liked it Everybody starts yelling out every Josh Charles vehicle. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. He's in that? Yeah, he's her boyfriend.

I haven't seen it. Is it good? Yeah, I liked it. I think I would have liked that if I had seen it. Yeah. Yeah. I have fond memories of, even though I haven't seen it. But yeah, I got to check that one out. I think people just were probably, I think marketing-wise,

they were just sort of turned off by the, you know, they just thought it looked like a war movie. Well, the crazy thing was they marketed that movie as though it was a wacky comedy, and it is a little more intense, and that's, I think, what hurt it in terms of ticket sales, but I liked it. I thought it was a good movie, and it was cool to see her

and go through all this crazy shit and get the adrenaline. Tina Fey, yeah. Yeah, it was great. I loved it. All right, crazy shit and get the adrenaline. Tina Fey, yeah. Yeah, it was great. I loved it. All right, well, I'll check it out. Yeah, and then see Point Break. If I watch Point Break on my next flight

and I don't enjoy it, you're going to get quite a text. So buckle the fuck up Ramone, what did you see, man? I just re-watched this documentary Called The House I Live In It was about the prison industrial complex Which was a real good movie

And I saw Deadpool in the theaters That was the last thing you saw in a theater? You saw it late or you just haven't been since February? I don't go to the movies a lot Because when I go I usually have to take my three nephews and nieces And it's way too expensive So I'm like you got one movie Did they like Deadpool?

Yeah My dad bootlegged it and we watched it on Thanksgiving Did Colt burn you a copy? My dad bootlegged it and we watched it on Thanksgiving. Did Colt burn you a copy? Yeah, he did beautiful cover art for it, too. The secret talent I have, what can I say? I'm going to be next to Graham at the merch table afterwards just drawing on DVD plus ours. Just pay what you want and he'll draw it. We're doing a merch table after the show?

Yeah. I am. What do you got to unload tonight? I got the comedy, I got the stuff, the comedy film guide to movies, my CD, Palm Strike Dance Party,

and Whistling Bane shirts, men and women sizes. And I brought some three and four X's, so, because I always get treats like, you know what, you better bring some big sizes. I do sound like that normally.

That's the voicemail you left me. I'm usually crying when I leave voicemail. I haven't seen a movie since Deadpool. Fucking nieces and nephews. You gonna take him to Jungle Book? No How old are these nieces and nephews? 13, 14, 15 Oh, okay

Yeah, they're right along to each other Zootopia? No, they're not into that No Okay I'm trying to get them to watch older good movies At home? Yeah.

I asked my nephew if he would... I was like, hey, will you come down? I got a gig in New Orleans. Will you come to New Orleans if I buy your plane tickets? He's like, oh no, no flying. I was like, why? He was like, we just watched Castaway yesterday. You should have been like,

you'll be safe if you don't work for FedEx. You're not a harried FedEx employee who always has to be where he needs to be. You're just people on a regular flight. People are scared of flying, especially because of seeing crashes. I mean, I know it's not, you know, it makes you feel awful that they could crash, but

look at how often there's thousands of flights every day and one goes down every once in a while. It's like they said in the movie Airplane, they had that scene where they're debating on TV and the one guy goes they paid for their tickets, they knew what they were getting in

for. I say let them crash. Because they're already debating it on TV while the plane is maybe going to crash. So that's the last movie I saw. So, um... Graham is going to be... He's headlining all this weekend

at the Zanies out in Port Charles. St. Charles. Not the fictional soap opera town. It's across the street from General Hospital. Blackie is a surgeon now. Did you guys hear Luke and Laura raped each other to death?

Jesus Christ. I know, I went too far. But the greatest TV romance of our time was Luke and Laura, and their relationship started off, first thing he did was he raped her. And then eventually he won her over, and they got married. And it was the highest-watched daytime TV show

up until that point. So I apologize for the rape joke, but it was really accurate. So speaking of rape, I'm headlining the Zanies in St. Charles. And Ramone, he's opening up for me Friday and Saturday. Ramone Rape Rivas. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. I would never.

I would never. This part's not going out. No one's going to hear this part. Don't sue me. Sometimes I just think I'm in a nightclub, you know, and I shouldn't be saying these things. There's going to be some long-ass beeps in this episode.

That drives people crazy. What was the beep covering up? Just a rape joke. Don't worry about it. Did you know that most rape jokes go unreported. For the listeners, that was not me dropping a mic. GrahamElwood.com, everybody. Thank you so much. All right, I'm going to sit out the rest of the show.

You guys just play some games and give out some prizes. Let's see some name tags, because it's time for the games to begin. some name tags because it's time for the games to begin! This guy's very aggressive. Very aggressive. Alright, you guys. We'll be right back.

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Back to the show. We're back. Graham, who are you playing for? Looks like you got a nice hat there. I got a nice sombrero with lights on it. And it says, Three Ceramigos. So I guess her name's Three.

Did I get that right? And I just grabbed somebody and said, Take these donuts up. Oh, they don't count if it's not really part of a name tag. Well, I gotta stick my dick in something are we still recording and for now it's gonna be that sombrero it's right in the spot buddy I don't know where else to put it you can just throw it down you can give me me the shithead off of it.

Is that the shithead? Yeah, you can do it. There you go. I'll take the shithead. I'm going to cover my cock, though. If Graham loses, we'll say that. Who are you playing for, Colt? I have the Dave L. Wears Prada.

Yeah, Dave L. Last name LaBamba, I think. Dave LaBamba Is L I think And I picked this because I feel we have a kinship Where he would draw this really well on a DVD So Dave and Colt will be out at the first table Everybody draw on your DVDs

I love it. Ramon, you got some candy? Yeah. I'm playing for Candy Matt. It's like Candy Man. The Candy Matt can. I don't know if it's sing-songy like that. I think this is the murdery Candy Matt.

No, it's supposed to be, if you say it three times, you get diabetes. Yeah. No! And that's a big-ass bag of candy on there. Yeah, it's taped on there. So that was the draw? You're going to eat that candy? Yeah, I was looking around, and I saw a candy mat, and I was like, I've seen Candyman.

And then I saw the candy, and I was like, no one else put that shit on there. These were great name tags. They were great name tags, you guys. It's always heartbreaking to say no. That's why Periscope is... Take them to Goodwill. What?

Some other needy person will take the name tags. Did you say Goodwill? Yeah. It's a perfectly the name tags. Did you say Goodwill? Yeah. It's a perfectly good name tag. I got some blankets and an ironing board and this name tag. It's got Jeff Tate on it.

It must be worth something. We've got weird photoshops. Cult. Colt. Oh, man. That was weird timing. What were you going to say? Jinx, you owe me a Coke.

I don't think it counts when you just interrupt each other. Talk over each other. You should always get to go first because you've got the game show microphone. I do. Well, you've got to hold it. You've got to go like a three-finger. Yeah, you've got to Jean Rayburn it. Hey, everybody.

Or I look like a 1970s wrestling announcer, I feel. Oh, all right. I'm here with Graham Ellwood. Graham. That's right, Colt. I'm going to give him a pour. I'm going to give him the dirty sombrero like he's earned it. Graham, it seems like you're rocking a raging hard-on right now.

I'm going to give him the big golden graham, and they know that's right, Colt. Let me tell you something, Colt. I'm going to give people the big golden graham sombrero long and hard and this, this, this, this. This is going to be a crazy one. Back to you, Doug. I love it.

Always the announcer. Well, this will be crazy. Like, no matter what, that's great. I loved it. I was just going to ask you, Colt, if you have a favorite wrestling movie. That's a great question. Right? It's a great question. Right? It's a great question.

Easy ones are... Mr. Nanny. What's that? Mr. Nanny. The easy ones would say would be... My One and Only with Henry Winkler? I've seen that. No Holds Barred is a good one.

There's a crazy one. I don't know if you've ever seen it. It's called I Like to Hurt People. It was put out in the 70s. It was filmed in the 70s and wasn't put out until the mid-80s. And it's a weird half documentary. Bless you. Half documentary, half real movie.

But my favorite movie is a movie called Body Slam. Have you ever seen that one? Nuh-uh. And we're in the right place because uh roddy piper was in it and in the movie he was a tag team uh and he had a manager who who managed a rock and roll band and he wasn't doing too well i'm gonna tell you a little story about body slam And the rock and roll wasn't doing too well. And all of a sudden he jumped in the wrestling world and he made rock and wrestling. And Roddy Piper was named Quick Rick Roberts.

And he was from Evanston, Illinois. That's where I went to high school. My niece is pitching for Evanston High School this Saturday. Girl softball. Check it out. What is Quick Rick Roberts? Check it out. What's quick, quick, Roberts? Oh, I'll give you one. Check it out?

You're telling people to go watch your... How old is she? She's an amazing pitcher. It's a 10 a.m. game, so you can still come to the 420 show. First place in the CSL. How old is she, though? She's 15. She's playing...

Sophomore playing for the varsity. Fucking eat it. I just don't... Some of the people here, I just think they're not going to look right in the stands. Yeah, bring name tags, guys. Bring donuts and name tags. If you guys show, that'd be so awesome.

All these parents like, who the fuck? Why is Grace's uncle's face on a weird movie poster? Her name is Grace? Yeah. Oh, I weird movie poster? Her name is Grace? Yeah. Oh, I'm eating at a fancy restaurant called Grace tomorrow night. Damn. Coincidence? It's in a movie.

It's in a movie called Grace that's really good, too. So anyway, we got games to play. And then sombreros to sleep under. Doug, I was in a movie. Then you literally should have dropped the mic and walked out. I wanted to brag about it. Which one? I was in the movie called Mansome.

Oh, the Morgan Spurlock grooming documentary? Yeah, and I shaved my friend's butt. That's me. Thank you. I love these three guys in the corner. That's you! We know somebody shaved that guy's butt. Uncredited.

Oh. Fucking Hollywood's tough, man. All right, well, I'm glad we got that in. Anybody have any ass-shaving stories before we move on? This first game we're going to play is a little thing that we like to call doing lines with Mark you guys want to do some fucking lines

get up Chicago get up oh my god thank you Thank you. Hey, Mark, do you want to... Do you want to reach into Ramone's box and grab a donut and throw it at the crowd? Who wants some fucking carbs? Put them up. You ready?

You ready? You ready? Open your fucking mouth. The walls here have very nice caricatures on the walls, so please try not to hit the walls. Old Two Bites Ramone over here. Ramone's donut hit the roof of his mouth. Do it, dog. Whip it. Make somebody fat.

What is this weird donut? We can just throw these? I don't like this donut. All right, hold up that big sign in the back. I'm gonna nail it. Oh, shit. Come on, hold it up. Oh, no. Get your goddamn sign correct.

All four corners, asshole. Let's cut the shit. Don't hit the wall with that chocolate donut, dude. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! It went through that banner like a high school

football team. Friday night lights. The Evanston softball pitcher. Yeah, you want to see some pitching. That's where my niece got it from, guys. Who else has got a sign that I can hit?

Where's the big one on this side? Yeah, I'm going to hit that one. That so much sounded like a dunk tank. It makes such a satisfying sound when you throw a donut hard at a sign. Can I throw it at most nose for Rob, you? He's sitting so close. He's close for Rob, too.

It's a good thing you got glasses, Rob. Nose, put it up by your head. Perfect. Yeah! Yeah! All right, some girl, take your fucking shirt off. You got to say Mark Wahlberg threw it right on my tits. Ready? Here you go.

You're welcome. No one really did that I think that girl caught it with her nipple I swear to God Alright Mark Thanks for being patient And waiting back there all this time I know you probably have What brings you to being patient and waiting back there all this time. I know you probably have... What brings you to

Rosemont, Illinois? How you doing, Chicago? You doing good? Why are you out here at the airport? Fucking Boston's in town, so I'm in fucking town. Oh, okay. That and Donnie has a second interview at Six Flags. I didn't know it was so rigorous over there at Six Flags. He's trying to sell his fucking dream catchers.

He's like, you hit three bottles, you get a small dream catcher. Two small dream catchers, you can trade that in for a medium. A medium and a small gets you a large. It took him 20 minutes to figure out how to spell gurney. I'm like, who cares? You guys want to do some fucking lines? All right, so Mark is going to say a line from a motion picture. We've done most of his own movies

because he's been very nice to do this often and for the listener at home this show just got better guess as often as you like just the people on stage nobody in the audience please and after a few words from Mark,

he's going to say a line from a movie that's not Boogie Nights. Then I got to roll, dude. I'm pitching relief. Red Sox bringing me in. Eighth inning. I already fucking worked it out. All right, let's do this shit.

Look good, feel good. You look good. You feel good. Look good, feel good. You look good, you feel good. It's not a big deal, Elmo. It's like six minutes. That's it.

It's not a big deal, Elmo. It's like six minutes. That's it. It's not a big deal, Elmo. It's like six minutes. That's it. The Sesame Street movie? It's not a big deal, Elmo. It's like six minutes. That's it. The Sesame Street movie? It's not a big deal, Elmo.

It's like six minutes. That's it. Tickle Me, Wahlberg? You fucking wish. It's not a big deal, Elmo. It's like six minutes. That's it. Is there another line for this movie? Yeah, you want to do another fucking line?

I think you might have to. Yeah, man, I think I'm going to get down to 168. Yeah, man, I think I'm going to get down to 168. Yeah, man, I think I'm going to get down to 168. I'm going to finish this line. Yeah, man, I'm going to get down to 168. Go and shoot. Yeah, man, I'm going to get down to 168. I'm shoot. Yeah, man, I'm going to get down to 168.

I'm going to go and shoot. Yeah, man, I'm going to get down to 168. I'm going to go and shoot. Yeah, man, I'm going to get down to 168. I mean, I'm not playing, but I also don't know what this is. I'm going to go and shoot. So do another one. You want to do another one? Here we go. Where are you going?

I'm going on a quest for some vision. Vision quest. It is fucking vision quest. Vision quest. Down to 168. You should have known. Wrestling movie. Nice.

There's somebody. Thank you, Mark. Oh, all right. Thanks, man. Thank you. I got to get out of here. Fuck you, Graham. What's up, dude?

Wait a minute. I'm just joking. I'll to get out of here. Fuck you, Graham. What's up, dude? Wait a minute. I'm just joking. I'll give you a ride around. He's having fun. Thanks, buddy. He's just mad. He's having a good time. You guys have a good night.

Oh, wait. Shit. All right. It's time for whose tagline is it anyway? And this is the Cinco de Mayo edition. And we will start with... So who did get that fastest? You said Vision Quest the fastest, Ramon?

Yeah. All right, so Ramon's going to go first. I'm going to say a tagline from a motion picture to Ramon. It's usually something from the poster or the ads or whatever. And you just guess. You get one guess. And if you don't get it right, we'll move on to Colt and then to Graham. And that's how it works.

Okay. The tagline for this movie is, The time has come. Yeah, really paints a picture. Wait, that's it? That's the whole thing? I thought that was just the first half. The time has come.

The time has come. Once you know the title, it makes a little more sense. But it still wasn't the greatest ad team working on that one. Clockwork Orange? No, but that's a very good guess. You gotta go with some sort of clock or time thing. Colt? Seven seconds.

Was that like a Bucking Bronco movie? Yeah. Or wasn't that nine, eight seconds? Oh, seven seconds. No? I think it's eight. The bull riding movie? I think it's eight seconds in a duffel bag.

Oh, that's it. Graham? Time Cop. Sean Claude Van Damme. I bet you every time he makes love he says the Time Cop has come. I can't occupy this space anymore.

But the correct answer for this one is Once Upon a Time in Mexico. What? Yeah. That doesn't make a goddamn bit of sense. Well, the time has come. Once upon a time. So the time is here. That once is now.

I know. It's weird. I told you it only makes a little more sense when you hear the... It would have been much better for Clockwork Orange. I knew time was in the title. Like that, because it was such a lazy tagline. I knew someone in the marketing department went, time, time, time, time, time patrol.

Time for fun. Well, try to use that theory again in this next one. Oh, yeah, but you guessed time cops. That wasn't bad. Ramone. Love with the safety off. Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Oh, that's a good one. That would be a great tagline for that. It's not. It's a tagline for something that it's not a great tagline for. I'm available to hire to write taglines if I know what they've got. I'm crushing it.

Colt? It's not the John Cena classic 12 rounds, is it? No, but again, would have been a better tagline for that. Do you have an idea, Graham? Say it again. What is it?

Love with the safety off. You know, a lot of love you throw that safety on. Love with the safety off? That way you don't put bullets in each other. What the fuck? It is... Oh, the gun romance. Oh, gun romance. Nailed it.

Starring Katherine Heigl and Kiefer Garrett. Leif Garrett's stepson. You know, I mean, I have the right answer here, so you don't really have to make up what that movie is. Because it's not like I've got the answer. The motion picture, The Mexican. Oh. Yes, The Mexican.

Now I know the game. Yeah. Ramon, you get to go first on this next one. Racist. That's why I'm here, man. Feel the speed, feel the rush. I probably, you know, let me try it one more time. Feel the speed, feel

the rush. Oh, is this the Huckleberry Hound? No, I just was selling it too hard, I think, the first time. We don't know how it's, you know, everyone says it when they're reading it. It's on a poster, you walk up and you go, oh, feel the rush.

What is it again? Feel the speed. Feel the rush. Feel it. Feel it. You've got to... Desperado? No. No. Barado.

Colt. I can't think of a Mexican-themed racing movie. Gone in 60 seconds. Mm-mm. Nick Cage isn't Mexican. He's close. Graham. Feel the speed, feel the rush.

I'm sorry. I forgot. There's two question marks in here. Feel the speed, feel the rush? I'm sorry, I forgot. There's two question marks in here. Feel the speed, feel the rush? That changes it. No, it's actually two periods. It's just very direct. Just feel the speed, feel the rush. Very straightforward.

Yeah. Anything? Did he say desperado already? Yeah. Uh-huh. Desperado 2. I have no idea what these are. The correct answer is Fast Five.

Oh! Son of a bitch. Slipped that one past you, didn't I? Oh! Fast Five. Fast Cinco, I think. Cinco de Mayo edition Fast Five 2 placed in Brazil

if I'm not mistaken that's where Cinco de Mayo started the Brazilians were more excited about Mexico getting their independence of course they were we all are we party like we did something. Here's the next one,

starting again with Ramon. You say you want a revolution? You say you want a revolution? Che? That Che Guevara movie? Che, yeah, that like three and a half hour, two-parter? Yeah. No.

Okay. That's a good choice, though. That's a good choice. I'm a good guesser, man. I mean, this isn't on the theme, but my guess would be Pirate Radio. That's a terrific guess. The Christian Slater High School? No. guess would be pirate radio that's a terrific guess the christian slater high school no no pirate radio was you know a ship at sea off the coast right based on the true story

yeah yeah in england christian slater was the uh pump up the volume okay enough of that enough asking the audience for answers it's all on you Graham could you please restate the tagline please you say you want a revolution?

question mark the correct answer some guy on twitter told me to say this one I don't like that guy. I'm going to say... And the next one. The Three Amigos. No, it's Spice World.

It's so Cinco de Mayo, that movie is all about. Because there's five of them. Yeah, yeah, I know. The fifth one is Adobo. All right, Ramon, here's another one for you. Only their music could conquer the forces of evil. Music could conquer the forces of evil. Pick a destiny.

Tenacious D. Yeah, you'll need to do full title because none of it's right. I need a full incorrect answer. Yes. Cagote. That's Spice World. I wouldn't put it past me to do something like that, but incorrect. Graham? Okay.

Please repeat the tagline. Only their music could conquer the forces of evil. I might have a guess too. Here we go. Kung Fu Panda 2. Wait. Can I throw one in? No. Sure. It doesn't mean anything, but I like it.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure or Bogus Journey? Bill and Ted's Spring Break. This was submitted by the Spice World guy, and I still don't know why he asked for both of these. Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Yeah, right? I thought of that when you first said it,

and I was like, nah. All right, let's do one more. We got to get a winner in this thing. Let's do one more. We've sensed it. We've seen the signs. Now, it's happening. It's the happening, motherfucker.

Somebody's got to get this fucking right. Let's do another line. Doug, I also brought a gift for your bag. It's a butthole fleshlight. Oh. I have the perfect person to put this in. Why am I holding that? That was Graham who hit the floor for those at home.

It turns out some people get told no not me but normal people so now you can always say yes to yourself and you know what if i used used it, you're welcome. It's also really stretched out. Like, really stretched out. I hope the winner is going right to O'Hare. And that this bag of weirdness has to go through. Dude, TSA is going to look down that hole and be like, where'd you get this coin purse?

Somebody told me we're in Rosemont. What's happening? Somebody told me we're in Rosemont. Is this town named after the girl from Titanic? Her name was just Rose, but Like Cher? What? Like Cher? She was just fucking Rose?

No, she had a last name, but it wasn't Mont Either way Do you want to do another line for us? Do you want to do another line first? Do you want to do a fucking line? We got to pick somebody to go first in the next game because nobody did anything in that last one. Except for me when I crush it with that American film classic, The Happening.

Look good, feel good. All right, so I guess we're doing it Feel good Also, if you have the time on the way home Donnie's only sold three fucking dream catchers Just putting that out there Also, if you have the time on the way home, Donnie's only sold three fucking dream catchers. Just putting that out there. Maybe somebody here has a past six flags and you feel like catching dreams or whatever the fuck poor people do.

All right, here we go. So he got the job then? Oh, no, he's selling them in the parking lot. He's still waiting to hear back. He's still waiting to hear back. Hope he gets that third interview. I think they go all the way up to six over there. They go to fucking six?

At Six Flags? Yeah, that's why they're called that. It's their scrutiny that they put their employees through? I'm leaving after the game. Six interviews? I'm leaving after the game, so if somebody can let Donnie stay with them, he will eat your food. You need to mark it and lock it.

All right, so this is a line from a movie. Just go ahead and guess. Ready? As soon as you think you know it. Look good. Feel good. line from a movie just go ahead and get ready as soon as you think you know it look good feel good hey guess what found out why you got this house so cheap yeah 26 years ago some kid named alan parrish he just disappeared one day yeah and it turns out that his parents like cut him up into little pieces and they hit him in the walls amityville horror hey we found out why you got this house so cheap

26 years ago, some kid named Alan Parrish, he just disappeared. Because his parents chopped him up and put him into little pieces and hit him in the walls. The Conjuring. Casper. Hey, let me hear it if you fucking know this movie. Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it. Don't say it. Okay, ready? Money Pit.

Hey, guess what? Yeah, we found out why you got this fucking house so cheap I'm just riffing with the line right now We found out why you got this fucking house so cheap Yeah, some kid named Alan Parrish Just appeared like 26 years ago Because his parents chopped him up into little pieces And they hid him in the fucking walls, dude Want another line from it?

Yeah I know what it is, but you gotta get these guys to guess Okay, here we go, ready? little pieces and they hit them in the fucking walls, dude. Want another line from it? Yeah. I know what it is, but you gotta get these guys to guess. Okay, here we go. Ready? Why don't you act like somebody in the movie? Because a rule has been broken, you will move back one token. Jumanji. It. Jumanji. It is Jumanji!

Alright. Way to go, dude. You're a fucking winner today. Thanks, man. Alright, I gotta go work out. Don't go Shane! Donny, let's go! I hope the club doesn't let him leave with that microphone. I went and saw Jumanji with, like, my fifth grade science teacher. Oh, whoa.

First or second grade. And, like, two other students. It was, like, a weird... Wait. It's still weird. Yeah. Completely weird. We were, like, her science helper kids. Again.

She didn't touch me though. So I was just, I think I was just there covering for the one she was touching. In class? Like, what are you guys doing this weekend? It was like her beard. She's like I gotta take these two to the bathroom You go wait in the car

Yeah That's how what happens on dates too Alright you guys We gotta pick We gotta determine a winner here today What the fuck I feel like I got the only points Break Yeah you've gotten the are here today. What the fuck? Yeah, I feel like I got the only points, man.

Break. Yeah, you've gotten the Mark Wahlberg movie right both times, so you'll get to go first in this next game. Hell yeah. And then we'll go to Colton and Graham and then me

because I play along. Yeah, we're playing Last Man Stanton. A person on the Twitter reached out to me. Lots of you did. Thank you very much. But I chose someone called users underscore abusers. Yeah, what does users underscore abusers mean?

It's your dissertation title. All right. Wow. That's awesome, dude. Your title has an underscore in it? So was it at the end of your dissertation where there's a hashtag PhD or something like that? I gotta write that down.

And I love that you have a Darth Vader t-shirt on. That's the best. You're living life. This is gonna be your college professor that'll smoke weed with you guys right there. Yeah, he'll get you fucked up and take you to see Jumanji. Which one of you girls just turned 18?

All right. Field trip. Well, I take the others to the movie You Wait In This Well. Well, I take the others to the movie, you wait in this well. All right, users, abusers. That just sounds like something I'm saying to the whole audience. Hey, you users and abusers. It's time to get down with the floozers.

What's your actual name, dude, if you can give it away? Matt. Matt, all right, Matt. Candy Matt. Who do you think we should play for Last Man Standing tonight? Keanu. Keanu Reeves. The cat. The cat?

Name all the films that those five kittens that played Keanu were in. Whoever says Keanu first wins so those are baby ass cats Ramone start us off just name any devil's advocate Keanu oh okay out of the gate with an interesting one and don't forget gentlemen that your name tag is also your lifeline that you can use once in this game. I say don't forget, gentlemen. That's my way of saying I just almost forgot. As I always do. Colt.

The Matrix. What? Let's go with Point Break. That one was certainly out on the table. As was Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. The Matrix Reloaded. Okay.

Nobody's upset about that. Because they do actually don't have the numbers in those. Yeah, so they do don't. Colt. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Yeah. Yeah. Speed.

The one on the bus Yeah As long as we're doing Like his most action packed Movies I'm gonna go with The Lake House That time traveling Fucking

Lake House With her and Sandra Bullock And the mailbox Yeah yeah Tell us all about it Some other time So great Do a spoiler rep with her and Sandra Bullock in the mailbox. Yeah, yeah. Tell us all about it some other time. So great.

Do a spoiler rep of Comedy Film Nerds. Lake House. Guys, we're going to talk about Lake House. We're going to break open Lake House. Really get into that Yeah, we're going to take out

some calendars. Yeah. Make some graphs. Like you're tracking a serial killer. The timeline? Your wall. All right.

Your wall's going to look like this, with just things taped all over these weird lines. By the way, I always appreciate, every time I play Zanies and Rosamond, they paint this wall to look like the movie Tron. And I appreciate that they go to that trouble. Graham, is it your turn? No, it's mine.

Oh, Ramon? The replacements? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. Colt? Parenthood? Mm-hmm.

Graham? Shit, I'm blanking. I know, right? The Matrix Revolutions. Yeah. That one was left? The Matrix Revolutions. Yeah. That one was left out there for a while. Okay.

No one would fucking take it in from the curb. Put that in your butt plug sleeve or whatever. Yeah, words. I'm going to go with Something's Gotta Give. It's got to. Hardball? Yes. People love that movie.

Rest in peace, G-Baby. Always with the spoilers. I have a deep cut, but I don't want to waste it. Can I work through one? Don't waste your deepies. Well, you know you could use your lifeline right now if you want. Because your lifeline will probably have one now, but might not later. Oh, he's ready for you. My man's locked and loaded.

But I have one now. I have a weird one. Give it. All right, Freaked? Freaked, of course, because his buddy Alex Winter made that movie. So he makes an appearance in it. I think he was the sock hand? No, that was Bobcat.

Bobcat was the sock puppet. He was the dog boy, yeah? Yeah, let's say he was. Graham? I think I got to go Lifeline. Okay. Who's your Lifeline? Sombrero Johnny? Sombrero Johnny?

Sombrero Johnny, a.k.a. Sarah Amigos. Where's Sarah at? Johnny Demonic, she says. I couldn't get that in my head. I saw the movie. I know. I couldn't get that name.

God bless you, Sarah. Yeah, it's hard that he's, you know, that he... This game always fucks me up because I always remember parts of the movie, but the whole title is goo goo it's goo goo yeah it's completely goo goo

this game it's a totally goo goo game goo goo I'm gonna say a movie where one of his why I talk a lot

just say it The Gift. And it's not, there's been a more recent movie called The Gift that he is not in. Yeah, it's the one with Hilary Swank and Katie Holmes and Greg Kinnear. Swanks?

Oh, man. What was that one where he was a shitty samurai? He was a what? swanks oh man what was that one where he was a shitty samurai he was a what well Graham certainly knows one now Can I use my lifeline? Yeah Candy Matt 47 Ronin

That's the shitty movie I was thinking of It's just you know a lot of movies Just don't have the nerve or the balls To put their address in the title And this movie you know, a lot of movies just don't have the nerve or the balls to put their address in the title. In this movie, you know right where to find it. You just go to 47 Ronan Road. And there it is in all its glory. Colt?

Came to me. John Wick. Yeah. Nice. That's a nice one. Graham? No more Lifeline. You're just out there whistling in the wind.

And I'll just tell you right now, I don't care if it's in production, John Wick 2 does not count. Aww. Because we don't know what the subtitle's going to be. John Wick 2, The Wickening. I was going to say, John Wick 2, Wickening I was going to say John Wick 2 Short Fuse

Now he just kills people for thinking about killing his puppy You got anything Graham? We did a respectable job here. There's nothing to be ashamed of. I think it's Bodhi, where he plays... Come on, man. He plays Buddha, and he sits under the... Yeah, yeah, you're out.

No, somebody look that up. You can't just describe it. You have to tell us the title. Bodhi. Wrong. You're out. My turn. Little Buddha. Fuck.

I think those two words were somewhere in my description. Was that little film about that. The Buddha guy. Buddha, Bodhi, Bodhi, Bodhi. Bodhi, Bodhi, Bodhi, Bodhi. Ramone.

You can't give us another one, Matt. One time, my friend. One time. Man. Don't make me tell you again. Is that a movie quote? No. Oh shit, I just thought of another one. And another one.

Shit. Oh, there's one. Don't you have the list? Aren't you checking them off of the list I'm not doing shit I'm writing them down So I can check if somebody repeats Sam Levine thinks it's cheating To see the list It can be helpful

So I don't look at it much Sam Levine thinks everything is cheating LA Confidential What No I don't look at it much. L.A. Sam Levine thinks everything's cheating. L.A. Confidential? What? No. Who are we talking about? He's like a cop. Yeah, maybe.

But don't say too much. Sorry. Ramon's out. Colt, it's all on you, man. Dave L. You're going to Dave L, your lifeline. Constantine. Constantine.

On to Dave Vell, your lifeline. Constantine. Constantine. Yep. Where he plays the American Idol contestant Constantine Maroulis. Underrated film. All right, I'm going to go with something that I watched recently on, what you call it, On Demand, directed by a friend of the show, Eli Roth, and it's called Knock Knock. I like that movie, but it's just two hot girls just fucking with Keanu in every way that they can.

So, Colt, can you pull out another one here I mean you are officially the winner tonight But If you can name another one Then I'll have to think of another one Just did Was he in an animated movie He might have been Just the effect Keanu has on women. He seems to be a B-movie kind of guy.

B-movie. Oh, you think he's a B-movie? What are you doing in my movie? You're not a B. Is that Bane doing in my movie? You're not a bee. Is that Bane doing Seinfeld? Take control, Kramer. I'm a bee. Get out of my movie.

I guess it's Bee Movie. Yeah. He definitely, his character would have been called Keanu Bee if he was in it, for sure. Or Beaves. But you did a great job. And I just want to throw in one more thing, just for the hell of it. He's in Keanu. I heard he was not.

It's his voice or someone doing an impression of him. So it could go either way. I think it's him. I read that they offered, but then they couldn't figure it out. But the way they did it, yeah, maybe he couldn't sit in a booth somewhere and say the words, but the way they did it, he could sue the shit out of them for calling the movie Keanu and then having his voice impersonated without it being clear that it's being impersonated. But I don't know.

Maybe you can get away with that. Also, he doesn't seem very litigious. Cole Cabana is our winner! Come on up here, Dave Val, and collect your prizes. God's good to me. Nice! And step on Ramone's candy. Thanks, dude. Nice.

And step on the Ramones candy. There you go. Thanks, dude. That guy looks like he wrestled, right? Dave-El looks like he was a wrestler, right? Didn't he look like a wrestler? He's in great shape. I know.

You got my shithead, right? Yeah, I got it. Ramon Rivas. Yeah. All weekend long with Graham Elwood. Good luck with that. Thanks. Out at St. Vincent. St. Vincent's.

Out at St. Elsewhere. Zaney's out at St. Vincent. And what else you got going on, buddy? My comedy festival is August 26th through 28th. If you go to accidentalcomedy.com, you get info on that. And then I... Cleveland. Yeah.

Colt, what are you... Colt Cabana on Twitter. Art of Wrestling podcast. Yeah. What else? I have the Wrestling Road Diaries. I'm coming out with the third documentary and it's going to be

about, I'm a comedic wrestler, that's what I do, and I do comedy and wrestling, so I flew over the number one Japanese comedy wrestler from Japan and the number one UK guy from Scotland. I wanted to say British, but I won't.

And I flew him over and we documented it and we traveled around the roads and we documented it. So that'll be out soon. Also, coltcman.com has everything. I have my live dates. Just in the next two weeks, I'll be in Chicago, Toronto, Omaha, North Carolina, Virginia, Baltimore. Port Charles.

Port Charles. Yes. And then, I know this is kind of late, but if you're in the UK, I'll be doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for the fourth year in a row in August. Come out and... You go for the whole thing?

You go for like a month? That's great. Holy shit. And you wrestle the comics? No, we... Brendan Burns and I are comedians. We watch crappy wrestling and do the comedy and commentary over it.

That's awesome. It's a great show. That sounds really good. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Graham Elwood. Elwood.

Yeah, Comedy Film Nerds podcast. Many of you already listened to it, but if you don't, check us out. It's definitely more nerdy it's more Charlie Rose ish and then yeah we'll be announcing stuff about earbuds I'm sure many of you

contributed to the Kickstarter so that is hitting festivals yeah you guys are fucking awesome and the movie will be coming out and LA Podfest and then I am headlining Portland Oregon next week, May 12th at Helium Comedy Club and also Irvine, California

at the Irvine Improv at the Irvine Spectrum May 22nd and my new podcast, Pop Divas where me and Joe Wagner talk about girl pop songs for real. We fucking love them. It's not snarky. It's like, no man, Demi Lovato was talking to me.

So check that shit out. We record live this Monday. The Avril Lavigne episode knocked my dick in the dirt. It's, it's great. There's nothing like having Avril knock your dick in the dirt.

So we're recording that live at the Improv Lab in Hollywood Monday, May 9th. So that's, and you can get all my tour dates and Twitter and everything at GrahamElwood.com. Do you play snippets of the music? Yeah, we play snippets and we break it down.

Like the first episode, we did Party in the USA. Because we need to know what you guys think about what teenage girls are singing. That's so awesome. Yeah, you do. That's great. We did Party in the USA in episode one. I talked about Miley Cyrus, how she was speaking to me about what it was like moving to LA.

I just don't know. How can you be coming from LAX and then look to your right and see the Hollywood sign? Wouldn't it be on your left if you're coming from LAX? She could be going up the 405 or something. You know what I mean? The 110? You can't see it from the 405.

When you eventually see it, it's going to be on your left. Maybe she's riding backwards in a limo. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. Sounds like you struck podcasting gold, Graham. Gold and grams.

I got one plug I wanted to throw in. Doug Loves Movies is going to be back at the Gramercy Theater in New York City on May 30th. I'm going to hashtag this episode, hashtag PhD. And yeah, yeah. and uh yeah yeah and come back Saturday to the stand up show if you want to come up on this stage and see just how hard it is to

come up with names of titles of movies and things yeah I can't even I don't even know what to say right now except for thank you one time to my guests. One more time. Ramon Rivas II, Colt Cabana, Graham Elwood.

And Mark Wahlberg, everybody. Check them all out out at the merch table. And if you want to come after party, we're going to be at Adobe Gillis. Poor old Toby Keith's.

I fucking love that barn grill. I rarely went in there, but I mentioned it in every show, and it was not, it was not, my show was not enough publicity to keep them from having IRS trouble or whatever,

whatever the hell happened to them. I think it's too big a room, right? Like it's too expensive to rent and then have to fill. Holy shit, it's late. And thank you guys for being here and being awesome as you always are. And as always, Steve Harvey is a shithead. If you don't mind, really quickly, I'd like to do my impression of Steve Harvey.

Saying that. Steve Harvey is a shithead. And Donnie Wahlberg is a shithead. Woo! Now it's time for Doug to watch another And Donnie Wahlberg is a shitass.