Doug Loves Movies - Craig Robinson and David Feldman Guest

Episode Date: March 4, 2010

Doug welcomes comic/writer David Feldman and actor Craig Robinson ('The Office,' 'Hot Tub Time Machine') to the program.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, just Doug loves movies. Hey everybody, I love movies. And here we are once again at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles right before Comedy Death Ray. Don't forget to go to a special thing dot com. Am I reading this naturally? Does this sound like a regular person talking?

Don't forget to go to a special thing dot com to find the I love movies thread where people comment about all things I Love Movies. And you can weigh in on who should be the other guest when John Lithgow finally appears on the show. So that's spoiler alert. He's not on this one. But I do have two very exciting guests. But let me just say first, before I bring them out here, that the last epi of the show had a very exciting Leonard Maltin game about the Winter Olympics and movies that take place at the Winter Olympics. And as I'm now finding out, whenever I say something wrong, like I didn't know what picaresque meant on one episode, Like I didn't know what picaresque meant on one episode,

and now I get messages all the time on Twitter and MySpace saying that I'm not right about what picaresque means. And I'm still not totally clear what it means. It's like roguelike or something like that. But anyway, let's forget about that, and let's bury this hatchet immediately that Brianimator, Brianimator, Brianimator. I don't know how to say this guy's name out loud, but I wrote it down. Brianimator, that's right. Brianimator from Twitter pointed out that I forgot Downhill Racer from 1969

during the Winter Olympics movies segment on the last show. And I just want to say, good catch, Bryanimator. You win nothing. That is your prize for telling me that. But you got mentioned, even though I don't know how to pronounce Bryanimator very well. I mispronounced it many times So Fuck off

Alright here we go My guests tonight are two hilarious comedians That I've been pals with for a while That's what I came up with That's the theme of tonight's show Is they're comedians and they're friends of mine Which is the theme pretty much every week If you're paying attention But this week is extra special because uh neither one of these two have been

on the show before and i enjoy them both so please welcome david feldman and craig robinson everybody david feldman is the um the white one and craig Craig Robinson is the non-white gentleman. And you can take those out and hold them if you prefer, or you can just go right up to the crazy weird tiny mic stands. That was a great opening. Do you like that? It was very picaresque. Oh, Jesus.

Don't start with me on it. Do you just know what that word means, picaresque? I think picaresque is like Don Quixote, where it's like a series of vignettes along the way where you're going after the MacGuffin. Am I correct? I think so. I think you're sort of right. It's just a word no one should use or talk about because no one really knows. It's like nonplussed.

No one knows exactly what that is. They just know they are that when this conversation started. So let's see here. First of all, David Feldman has a podcast as well, so I wanted to bring that up. What's it called? It's David Feldman Comedy. That sounded like so little confidence

in your podcast. It's called David! It's David Feldman! You were like Bobby Brady or one of those Bradys. Which one? Peter with the cracking voice. And you do that though.

Your voice cracks a lot when you get animated. I have one. Excited. Yes. Picaresque. It's the David Feldman Comedy Podcast and Eddie Pepitone and Jim Earl are on it, and hopefully a man named Doug Benson is going to come on.

I'm going to try to appear on that podcast. Now, Craig Robinson feels slighted, I should say. Here's the idea for the podcast, Craig. We do a parody of Super Jaime, but he's me, David Feldman. Super Jaime, as in the pejorative term for Jews. For three days. I haven't heard that one before. So it'd be Super Jaime

and you have to be me for three days. Oh, three days. Okay, when you pitched it to me, you were like 30 and I was like, forget it. But if it's only three days, I could be you for three days. Right, even I don't want to be you. How's the wife looking these days? Pretty hot. Nice.

Do you guys still have that game? Not game, but do you and your wife get to have sex with a particular celebrity, like a free pass? Yes, we do. How does that work exactly? If we meet the person of our dreams, we can have sex with them. So she picked Kevin Costner. I picked Cindy Crawford. And then about ten years ago, we can have sex with him. So she picked Kevin Costner. I picked Cindy Crawford. And then about ten years ago, we updated the list.

She picked Vin Diesel, and I picked our babysitter. Boom. And we had some picaresque sex, which was very good. Craig Robinson is here. Daryl from The Office, of course. Everybody knows that. Also, in every comedy endeavor produced in the last two or three years, you've played a part in it.

Even if you're not physically in it, your presence is there. People are going, wow, this would be funny if Craig were here. And you've got a new one coming out. I'm so excited about it. I want you to say the title because I love when you say it. Hot Tub Time Machine. Yeah.

Now, I've heard good things about Hot Tub Time Machine, and I hope it's not the new Snakes on a Plane where it's the best title, worst movie situation, because it seems like just you and a hot tub time machine, what could be wrong about that? Exactly. It's a fun ride, and it's a lot of fun. Is it in 3D?

No. It's this year of fun. Is it in 3D? No. It's this year's Avatar is what it is. Can I watch it twice in the same amount of time it would take me to watch Avatar once? Yeah. Then I'm in. Yeah, yeah. It's 90 minutes. The hot tub.

I'm in it. Come on. Let's go. Let's do this. Can I just say? Yes, you can um i was listening to dave film and talk about you know the list that he and his wife has and it's like automatically assuming that that celebrity wants to bang you have you ever heard of roofies

that's how we do my wife and i do it's a soul food restaurant bang you. Have you ever heard of roofies? That's how we do it. My wife and I do it. It's a soul food restaurant. That would be so awesome if your wife roofied Kevin Costner and sat on his flaccid dick for a while while touching herself

and watching Bull Durham. So Hot Tub Time Machine, how many Oscars, let's predict, one year out, next year, how many Oscars is it going to be nominated for?

I'm going to say seven. Seven. Right, that's good. That's humble. That's a good answer. Between directing and the writing and the photography And the photography

And the editing And they'll invent a best ensemble In a hot tub category Exactly Because everybody's going to make hot tub movies this year now I heard Precious is doing a hot tub movie I love when people groan Like what

She's a fictitious character by the way She can't make a bathtub movie precious wasn't real it was kind of real it was based on a book based on real by novel yeah based on a novel by push yeah sapphire based on novel push have you tried that sapphire push novel by sapphire they recommend it on OPA. Based on a novel pushed by Sapphire. Yeah. The girl was in, she wasn't real in the book? Oh, I don't think it's

I think the book was fiction too if I'm not mistaken. Did you see the movie? I always get confused by fiction, non-fiction. That expression non-fiction it's like why don't you just say fucking real. Why don't you say this is real This book is real, this book is fiction Why is it fiction and non-fiction

Next topic Hey did you see Precious I did It was tough to get through It's gut wrenching What Maria Carey without any makeup on Would that have been funny If I pronounced it properly

If you just said Maria. Mariah Carey. Hey, black man, how do you say Maria Carey? Mariah. Oh, shit. Yeah, that would have been great if you had gotten that. Almost good. But you were there.

You were there with a nice movie quip, and I appreciate that. I appreciate that you came to play. But here's the thing, is that you're going to succeed this upcoming weekend. We're taping this the weekend before the Oscars of 2010. And you are one of the writers for Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, which is awesome in and of itself. But what can you tell us about it? Well, if you're writing

on the Oscars, you have to sign a confidentiality agreement, and you can't expose anything about the show. So I would like to share with you information, but I can't. I will tell you this. A single man wins best picture. But other than that...

Was that your favorite movie of last year? Did you relate to that movie? Yes. Really? Sure. A closeted gay English professor. Oh, oh, oh. I thought you said a serious man. No, that's... I can't relate to that.

When have I never been funny? Bam! Sorry. Taking on the Coen brothers. David Feldman doesn't give a shit, everybody. So I really can't tell you anything about Sunday's Oscars

other than Jamie Foxx wins Best Actor. For? Ray. It was that good. They bring him back out again. They're like, Jeff Bridges was that good. They bring him back out again. They're like, Jeff Bridges was this close. But when it comes to playing

a, although he was fictitious though, Bad Blake. The Jeff Bridges character, correct? From the Push novel? Crazy Heart. Crazy a novel by Heart. Yeah, he was.

Thank you. He was non-real. Let me ask you a question. Am I real? Do you think I'm real? You are as real as you believe yourself to be. That's the question. So then he's not very real then because he had to ask.

How'd you get the gig on the Oscars? That's awesome. How many fingers am I holding up? Is that the answer? Oh. I, uh... Takes three fingers to get into the Oscars. Yeah, how'd you get that gig?

I failed as a comedian Oh, okay So when you fail as a comedian, you write for others Right, because you don't have to pronounce Mariah Carey When you're writing it down And handing it to someone else to say That is perfect You found the perfect way To overcome your affliction

And make some money Can you give us any kind of insight into... I know you can't give anything away, but is it going to be funny? Can you say that? It's going to be the greatest Oscars ever. Are they rehearsing a lot? Yes. That's cool.

How much time does Alec Baldwin spend on his phone yelling at his child? Yes. That's cool. How much time does Alec Baldwin spend on his phone yelling at his child? In like a typical eight-hour day, like 20 minutes, three hours? I can't say. Other than Lawrence Olivier comes back from the dead for Hamlet. He wins for Hamlet.

Wait a second. So what happens if Peter O'Toole wins for Hamlet, a wins for Hamlet. Wait a second. Wait a second. If Peter O'Toole wins for Hamlet, a role that he never played, after crawling up out of the... What did you say? After crawling up out of the grave. Oh, that's so funny.

He said, Lawrence Olivier. I thought he said Lawrence of Arabia. So, my bad. I did say Lawrence. I did. You did say Lawrence of Arabia. I did say Lawrence I did you did say Lawrence

I did say Lawrence oh okay Mariah Carey was two hours late for her concert last night Nick Cannon knows some tantric shit

right right hey what tantric is a very real wonderful thing. I wasn't making fun of it. I'm just jealous. I'm jealous of tantric.

I wasn't picking up that you're making fun. Are you tantric? I guess the way I did. Where do you have time in your busy schedule of making all the comedies to have tantric sex? I didn't know it was tantric. It snuck up on me. It was like all these

and it was like all these little like only way I can describe it was like orgasm bombs going off. My body's like pew

pew you know it was tantric. Are you sure you know what the word tantric means? It doesn't mean an orgasm. It means soup. Soup?

Yes. All right. Or what's the other word for tantric? There's another word for tantric? Not tantric, but you know. A different word. The squeeze technique. It was different.

Google exercises. It was multiple. It was different. It was multiple. It was something else. Yes, if you've just had a baby, it's always good to put some Kugel inside of you. Just rub some Kugel on it. And then go watch some soaps. Sound like something you make with a mixture of grits and waffles. Like Kugel.

It could be a dish. Roscoe's Kugel Shack? Actually, they serve it at Roofies. Roscoe's Kugel Shack. You don't want the syrup. It's kind of messy. I've never seen

an I Love Movies audience that's waiting for Comedy Death Ray that's been so disgusted by the by the conversation so let's move on to current movies if you've seen any in your busy schedules of podcasting

and hot tubbing Shutter Island you saw that one of the greatest movies ever made of podcasting and hot tubbing. Shutter Island. You saw that. Shutter Island. Saw it over the weekend. One of the greatest movies ever made. And I don't know why it's getting like a C plus on Rotten Tomatoes.

I don't know if anybody's seen it. I cannot recommend this movie enough. It is pure art. And so... It is. I'm not being sarcastic. Well, I think that's the problem with you and your voice.

I know. Like, you were forced into comedy because you always sound like you're fucking with people. I know. I know. It's the greatest movie that I've ever seen. No, I mean it. Sincerely. That's what you sound like. That is what you did.

I know. I apologize. But I really... So you really dug Shutter Island. I thought Shutter Island was the greatest movie since... A review I read today said that it starts off very strong, gets a little muddled, and then has a great ending. So would you agree with any of those things?

Here's the thing about Martin Scorsese, or I call him Marty. I don't know him. But I walked out of Casino. I walked out of Goodfellas thinking, you know, I'm not so sure about this. And then it comes on the TV and it just me, and I'm stuck inside that movie forever. I mean, his movie-making is so complicated and so state-of-the-art that you can't even pass judgment on it. You just have to let it wash over you and watch it a million times and see the genius there. I think it's just tremendous, tremendous.

Well, now I'm back in. It's just tremendous, tremendous. Well, now I'm back in. I was kind of losing interest in going to see it because I thought it was just going to be two hours of somebody off camera throwing a rat at Leonardo DiCaprio. But now you make it sound much more compelling than that. So I thank you, or I am mad at you, depending on how it turns out. Because it is a long-ass movie.

What's with the long-ass-edness of movies these days? Why can't every movie be hot tub time machine length? I heard that Leonardo DiCaprio, and you've seen the movie, so you can back me up on it. Wait, did you walk out during any period of the movie to use the bathroom or something? Are you saying because I'm old and my prostate's swollen? No, you might have to use the bathroom. But did you you saying because I'm old and my prostate's swollen? No, you might have to use the bathroom, but like, get popcorn or anything like that,

you've watched it reel to reel. Did you get an emergency corn run in the middle? I, except for the... The previews. I watched it all the way through. Did you see a preview of Hot Tub Time Machine? No, I haven't, but I do think that that,

in terms of slug lines, as they say in the business, that is the greatest idea for a movie ever. And I know it's going to be tremendous. It's going to be huge. Thank you. Almost, but then again, Michael Douglas is playing Liberace. In what?

He's doing the Liberace story. Oh, okay. I was hoping you'd say Wall Street 2. the Liberace story. Oh, okay. I was hoping you'd say Wall Street 2. Another man's seed is good. Oh, this is... Watermelon seed is good. It's Michael Douglas as Liberace

in Wall Street 2. Wow. You put all that together so quickly it didn't make any sense to me. It's Liberace Gordon Gekko. Yeah, yeah. Watermelon Seed is good. It says Shutter Island. There's a scene where Leo

Leonardo. What's it called again? Shutter Island. People in the know refer to Leonardo DiCaprio as Marty. So there's a scene where Leo Marty walks for like a minute. What's up with that? What's going on there?

Where's he going? Why is it a minute? I think the movie's so long, he's going to the restroom. He's got to pee. Well done. Not funny, but well restroom. He's got to pee. Well done. Not funny, but well done. I do tantric comedy. When I finally get a laugh, it's explosive.

But it takes forever. Yeah. And a lot of times you think about maybe giving up on it. Is this worth the wait? Let's see. We should do a movie called Stutter Island. It

writes itself. What have you seen? What have you seen lately, Craig Robinson? Have you been to the movies or seen it on a plane? I saw Twilight. I don't know which is weirder, that you said that or that someone in the audience just went, yes. Finally, the conversation turns to Twilight

and what three dudes think about it i saw the second twilight and i saw it in chicago uh over christmas and and there were people was that you that said he's about to turn into a wolf No. Look out, girl. He got his shirt off. It's wolf changing time. And that's another thing. These kids will run around with their shirts off and nobody questioned that ever.

Yeah. Why is there a pack of kids with no shirts on? I bet you they're the ones that are turning into werewolves because we never find shirts at the scenes of the crime. Always jogging around the city. It was quite weird. And then here's the other problem I have with the movie, okay? Yeah, let's break it down. Let's tear this thing apart.

So the Dracula dude, he could always, like he broke up with her for no reason. Bam, because he was like, I'm with you. I was like, gotta go. And then she found out that whenever she almost got herself in trouble, he would appear. Right. So he kept appearing, you know, not physically, but you just see like his head. Yeah. Whenever she was doing something bad, he would show up. So she started doing things for his attention.

Don't do that. You know, and then she on a bike you're gonna hurt yourself you know so every time he would keep appearing right so then one day he's in brazil and because he finds out he hears uh like she's dead or something so he calls to make sure instead of appearing. Spoiler alert. And the werewolf kid was in there with no shirt on. He has the phone. First of all, okay. Yeah, right? It's his nemesis.

I guess the dude said, hello, what's her name? Bella there? Is Bella there? And then the dude was like no he has a funeral to attend so that's what made him believe that bella was dead even though he was just appearing to her every couple of seconds hey yeah he knew everything she was doing but he makes a phone call to find out if she's alive or not yeah and then it gets didn't even question Who's answering the phone

He just Yeah Took the dude's word for it He like He should have said Before hanging up Hey just one more quick question Are you a liar?

So he gonna go kill himself In the sunlight And that's Twilight New Moon In under three minutes Hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you I like to do a thing where I have, Leonard Maltin was a guest on the show And he wrote a book

Where he names movies The 151 best movies you've never seen. And he's got enough cinema knowledge that he's got these great movies that nobody's ever seen. So I'd like to just turn to a movie. That's in my all-time top 200 books that I've never read. How many people have done that joke? That it's in the top 200 books they've never read? Yeah. Just you? How many did the done that joke? That it's in the top 200 books they've never read? Yeah.

Just you. How many did the super Jaime joke? That one's been done a lot. Yeah, I've done some. Everyone says that to me. They think it's about a Mexican superhero or a Jewish superhero. Oh, okay. And it's usually the person saying it.

That's my way of knowing who they hate more, Mexicans or Jews, depending on which one they reference at the time. Yeah, I'm pretty sneaky like that. How about it's super-hyme-y about a guy who lends money at exorbitant interest rates and farts a lot? Because you can't tell then if it's Mexican or... Can we cut that out?

Did I... I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you before the show, not only do we not cut things out The worst stuff We rearrange it so it's at the very top of the show So like Here's how bad it's going to get Just to save you the time of listening to the whole thing

And then That's how that works Hey is Grease 2 in that book? This book is entirely greaseless. No parts of the grease toology made it into the book. We're going to scot. But I just picked one at random, a movie, and I'm going to say it out loud,

and then we'll see if anybody here has seen it. He picks a movie from 2005 Called The Matador That stars Pierce Brosnan We got somebody clapped And you loved it? Loved it I saw where it was playing

You walked by it once? I've seen the title so he's kind of off Yeah it was written and directed by Richard Shepard, who I think, I don't want to say what else he did, but he maybe wrote The Cooler? No, I don't know. But anyway. I like The Cooler.

Who else was in the movie? It was Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, and Hope Davis. I liked her a lot in that, actually. It was good. I thought it was good. You know, I don't think it's one of the best movies you've never seen. Like, I wouldn't tell anybody, you've got to see The Matador. But now that I've said it on the podcast, people watch The Matador and let me know on Twitter or MySpace what you think of it.

Don't try to write to me on Facebook. I'm not there. I heard El cantante was really really good with jennifer lopez and mark anthony it's no gili i heard it was really really good like really really good well it's interesting and i'm not saying that in the day of film and sarcastically it's very interesting that you say that this is not planned you guys this is amazing uh okay let me back up this isn't amazing but it also hasn't been planned the subject for today's leonard malton game that we're about to play is worst romantic comedies

of all time and geely was one of the titles that i was going to uh play with and now it's out of the bag, so we can't. So thank you very much for that. You're ruining this show in so many ways. So suddenly that farting interest rate joke doesn't seem so bad. Wait a second. Well, now that you bring it up again. I'm just saying. Why are you going out of your way to defend that?

Why can't we just all move on? Okay. Let's all just pretend it didn't happen. I'm sorry, Doug. Why are you going out of your way to defend that? Why can't we just all move on? Let's all just pretend it didn't happen I'm sorry Doug And the best way to do that You're forgiven Hot tub time machine Thank you Do you have personalized plates on your car now?

Say H T TM No That would be awesome if you did I would say H-T-M. No, not yet. That would be awesome if you did. I'd shoot a close-up of it for the establishing shot at the beginning of the movie. If I were going to make the movie again in a fantasy of some sort.

There's, no. Let's bring out a special guest. Was that really going somewhere? Did I interrupt you? No, no, no out a special guest. Was that really going somewhere? Did I interrupt you? No, no, no. Okay, good. I was thinking about something. We're going to add somebody out here, a friend of the show, for the Leonard Maltin game,

just to make it exciting and have three of you competing against each other. So let's have a big warm welcome everybody For Graham Elwood is here Grab a Comedian's got a boo-boo is here Grab a microphone and sit down next to You know Craig Hi

Hey Graham I love Hot Tub Time I saw the trailer twice last night I saw the crazies Awesome Cop out Sucks it But I saw Hot Tub Time

What? Craig is in Oh no that's Tracy Morgan I'm sorry I saw The Crazies. Awesome. Cop Out sucks it. But I saw Hot Top Time. Zuh, zuh, zuh, zuh, zuh. What? Craig is in Cop... Oh, no, that's Tracy Morgan. I'm sorry. For a second there, I was like, you're really putting your foot in it, you stupid white person.

You're the dumbest white person I've ever met. Who would say that in front of the lead from the movie? I love Big Mama's House. I really... I loved what you did in there. I love... I love Madea Goes to J to jail i love all of it you know no i have a lot of chinese friends that's what you should be that's what you should call yourself the black guy in white movies because that's like your your thing is like it's surrounded by whiteness all the time and honestly that's not

true at all look Look at me now. Like, Patrice O'Neill in the office is like, fuck it, too much whiteness. And you're like, I'll hang in here and see what happens, see where this goes. Right? No. But, like, what happened to Patrice O'Neill's character?

Did he die? You know, I think... Did some shit fall on him in the warehouse? Patrice lives in New York. Did he get a big paper cut? Oh, yeah, he does live in New York. Yeah, so... Fuck that flight out to L.A. every time. I don't know exactly the story.

We can't discuss it. That's just my own... You signed a confidentiality agreement. Yes, that's exactly what happened. Oh, that's such bullshit. The confidentiality agreement? Yeah, come on, man. Those things don't mean anything.

Yeah, they mean something. Because... Let's play the Leonard Malkin game. I've never seen you with this table set up. This seems very like either court case or ball player's going to retire or, you know what I mean? Like, it's got very much a... Yeah, yeah, we's going to retire or you know what I mean? Like it's got very much

Yeah, yeah, we're going to question somebody or enjoy a filibuster. That's topical reference. Filibusters in the news. Or Sharon Stone could be sitting over there without any underwear. Oh yeah, because there was

dudes sitting behind the table with microphones in that scene from that movie from 40 years ago. Back when it was okay to show vaginas in movies. Or I could be naming names before the House Un-American Activities Committee. Yeah, there you go. Name some names.

Your vagina's a communist. Because that's only 60 years ago. Well, look at it, Your Honor. It's red. Come on now. Who's with me? Fucking laugh. Or we could be...

Or... I got one. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Hot tub time machine's got one, everybody. Okay, okay. First of all, your car, front plate, hot tub, back plate, time machine. Wait, wait. That keeps you out of trouble with the cops.

Wait, I got it. Which car was he in, the hot tub car or the time machine car? And two different states, like Nevada and Louisiana. Oh, no, from two different years. Yeah, that's right. Boom. Because it is a show where one is a hot tub. 2010, front time machine, 85. right. Boom. Because it is so, that is so where it's like one is a hot tub.

2010. Front time machine. 85. Two different times. I like it. All right. Okay. Here's my one.

Or we could be in court. The bathroom back there smells like a lot of weed. That's all I'm going to say. Oh, really? Somebody's back there shitting weed? Yeah. There's a gardener back there dumping his bags. Come on.

Who's with me? All right. I briefly explained the Leonard Maltin game to my guests, David Feldman and Craig Robinson. Of course, Graham Elwood has played it before. So he, of course, is going to have somewhat of an advantage. And I think it's going to be a very exciting match. The Matador. You don't just guess titles, especially ones we've already just been talking about.

Giggly? G about. Giggly? Giggly. Somebody wrote to me on Twitter. They tried to slam Geely, but they spelled it G-E-E-L-E-Y. And I figured out what they meant after a while. I stared at it for the longest time going, what's Geely? What are they trying to say? And it was like they were trying to burn Geely.

And then it's like, well, you've got to know how to spell something before you can burn it it's just you know it's one of my many comedy rules i keep getting walk around with i get emails telling me i'm retarded oh are they throwing an h or something or they spell it t at the r-e-t-a-r-t-E-D. Instead of retarded, I'm retarted. Oh, retarded. Like they're just putting an extra emphasis in there. Like you're really retarded. Right? I was feeling smug like they couldn't spell, but I guess not.

Do you eat more than one pasty treat? Yes, I do. I don't understand the question. right the topic is this the topic uh on this edition retreat of the leonard malden game is the worst romantic comedies of all time i found somewhere where they listed i think it was entertainment weekly listed the worst romantic comedies of all time. And we'll start with Graham. The Accused. Not a comedy. Deer Hunter. You see what I did? I said that The Accused is not a comedy,

but meaning that it could possibly be romantic when Jodie Foster gets raped on a pinball machine. And it's so unrealistic, it doesn't tilt like it would tilt. Like they totally, they go back to playing their game after. That is the problem with that tilt. It would totally shut down. All right.

All right, Graham, do you want a movie from, a worst romantic comedy ever from 2007, 2003, or 96 of 1900? 03. Here we go. This is from 03. And I'll give you a clue.

I'll give you something that Leonard said about it. He said, guzzle sunscreen instead of sitting through this. Yeah. So imagine a movie that would be worse to watch than taking sunscreen and guzzling it. All right? That's what this movie is. One of the worst romantic comedies of all time. And there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven names.

Graham, you can start the bidding. Did I tell you what year it was from? 2003. Start the bidding with seven names or less. How many names do you think you can get it in? I'll go... I'll go... I'll go five.

Autotune is ruining all of music. All right. Craig Robinson. Should he name that movie, or can you name it in less than five names? What? Can he? You said, should he name it?

Oh, can I? You either say Graham Elwood, name that movie. Okay. Or David Feldman. I can name that movie in four names. Nice. I see where you're going with this. Yeah, it's like a game.

Name that movie. Three names. It's not your turn, David. Oh. I say three names. He says three names. He says three names. Now, David, you could say name that movie, or you can try to name it in less names.

Okay. Name that movie. Let's go. This point is going to uh mr feldman because i couldn't i i don't know anybody alive that would be able to name this movie based on these three names jason airbar was in it that's how i think you pronounce this y y r i b a r I-B-A-R. That's Mariah Carey.

No. Brian Dietzen was in this movie. And Greg Stiff. Or Sif. No T. Stiff, but with no T. Greg Sif. And it was from 2003. And you should guzzle sunscreen instead of sitting through this insipid musical vehicle for TV's American Idol stars,

which finds them trying to make a love connection during Miami spring break. No one was expecting Shakespeare, but there's less heft here than in an Archie comic book. Justin and Kelly belt and gyrate through a series of forgettable numbers, but generate no chemistry, even in a chaste Frankie Annette sort of a way.

Do you have a guess? Yeah. What's it called? Green. I didn't say it yet. Do you really not know? From Justin to Kelly. Yes, that's correct.

Yay. When you said the first guy, I was shaking. You kind of knew. You kind of had an idea. Jason, I knew. Alright. Okay, so let's start down there

with Graham again. 2007, 96, or 97? Let's go 07, buddy. Okay, buddy. Let's do it. This is... P90X.

This is from 2007, and let's see if I can find a line that was a good clue. Reds. Contrived romantic comedy is torpedoed by one particular character. I'm not going to name the actress.

Who is unbelievably annoying. Leonard is not afraid of losing friends in Hollywood. That's for sure. Well, are the top two names... Is Matthew McConaughey in one of the top names? No, but this is from 2007.

What were you thinking it was? Anything he did with Kate Hudson. Oh, Fool's Gold or something? Two names. Is Matthew McConaughey in one of the top names? No, but this is from 2007. What were you thinking it was? Anything he did with Kate Hudson. Oh, Fool's Gold or something? Yeah. No, that's not it. That's not it. Enough pre-guessing. All right.

Ten days I hate about you. Ten. Okay. Ten things that... There's three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. There's like nine names here, I think. Yeah, nine names. All right. Start the bidding with Graham Elwood. I'll six, seven, eight, nine. There's like nine names here, I think. Yeah, nine names. All right.

Start the bidding with Graham Elwood. I'll go lucky number five again, bitch. Now, are you saying that to me or to Craig? To you. The bitch part. To you. Okay. Of course you are.

I'm going to say motherfucker to Craig. Name that movie Oh nice Lock it up Nicely played Tony Hale was in this movie Outstanding He's Buster on Arrested Development

Of course he is Ty Panitz is in this movie Ah I gotta love Ty Don't know who that is But if you say so Stephen Collins Steve-o He's a classic He was in that first horrible Star Trek I think If you say so. Stephen Collins. Steve-o!

He's a classic. He was in that first horrible Star Trek, I think. Piper Perabo. From Coyote Ugly. Right. And you got five names, right? Yeah. And Lauren Graham.

Ooh! Is the fifth name. That's a good... She gets shitty billing. Isn't she in Parenthood now? She's one of the stars of Parenthood, yes. And Father Knows Best. I don't know what... The original series, Father Knows Best, with Lauren Graham.

Lauren Graham was on that? Yeah. What'd she play? I think Kitten. No. Father Knows Best from 1955, Lauren Graham. There's no way. Look it up.

I'm going to Google it. Google it. Google it right now. Lauren Graham. There's no way. Here'm going to Google it. Google it. Google it right now. Lauren Graham. There's no way. Here are... Okay. Graham.

Speaking of Graham. Lauren Graham. Lauren Graham Elwood. Do you have any idea what it's called? You know what movie it is. Remember the trailer was horrible. It showed like four women in a row all putting on weird underwear on weird underwear oh it's either it's either yaya or the traveling pants i'll go no oh shit we got a terrible romantic comedy expert in the audience

turns out it's a woman I'll read the rest of the names Tom Everett Scott Gabriel Macht Mandy Moore and Diane Keaton Diane Keaton is the unbelievably annoying one she's the princess

what? she's the king she's the princess she's a captain she's a soldier you know that movie. She runs a boat. No.

This is the hardest game of... Is Robin Williams in it? No, Robin Williams. R.B. His name would have came up already. It was called Because I Said So. What the fuck? I wouldn't even know what that is.

No, you saw the trailer, and then you said, I'm never going to see that unless it's on a plane, of course. Somebody said, yes, I will see that, though. But you saw it. You saw it. It meant you saw it. Don't fucking lie to me. Graham, could you interrogate the audience maybe after the show? We've got to finish this up right now.

This is an exciting match we have going here. Craig gets that point, right? That's correct. Yeah, so Craig and Feldo each have a point. No, I have two points. How'd you get two points? Justin Kelly. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's right. So Craig Robinson won, everybody. Thank you. Wow. I was so worried about finishing the game. Turns out it was over already. Thank you Wow I was so worried about finishing the game Turns out it was over already It's over before it started When you try to compete against Craig Robinson

I like that If you had your organ here right now You'd totally play that That's awesome What's that music that you play all the time Take your panties off No not that No that music that this athletes run out

onto the court yeah yeah yeah that's all right you know what i never did set it up so that uh there would be anybody playing for anybody and i'd like to thank the audience that comes every week for not going hey you didn't pick anybody to play for you so i'm just gonna give out stuff yeah give because i said so something. Like a punch in the throat for watching that movie. No, no, no. Why should we give it to her? The prizes I have are Doug Benson Professional Humoridian CD

and I have Dirty Laundry. It's a collection of seven CDs with a bunch of readings by people on them and I'm on there as well. And they also gave me a box of detergent that says dirty laundry on it it's gain actually disguised as a little promotional item for the the thing so here i'll give uh these i met these folks outside they're very nice so i'll give them a prize yay since he sat right here, he gets to name who the shithead is at the end of the show. What's your name?

Zach. Alright, Zach. And come back and play again sometime when I'm smart enough to get players to win the prizes. And then whisper in my ear who you would like me to call shithead. I don't know who that is, but I think I... Wait. Oh, it's a high school friend okay

I thought it was a character actor for a second there but let me write it down this is the first time somebody's used this I always let somebody pick someone to call a shithead and it's the first time

how do you say his last name again? okay and I didn't say it in the microphone so the listeners probably didn't hear it but this is the first time somebody's actually used it for a more personal agenda.

Usually people go after some annoying famous person or some famous person they have a grudge with because they sat through whatever it is they sat through. Right? Is the show still going, Craig? Hello?

Craig, are you alright? Yeah, I was just listening to what you were saying That's how I like it My guests have been Graham Elwood Hello Any plugs? What do you want to plug?

Yeah, mycomedyfilmnerds.com podcast Listen to it We talk very seriously about movies. Yeah, it's not like this. It's not like a fucking dick around hour. It's like serious. Let's really talk about movies. We just put up two episodes in a row, episodes seven and eight. So we talk about

a lot of the movies that just came out the last two weeks. Some Oscar talk. Boom, bam. Biggity boom, boom. All right. You're not going to say that on there, though, right? People aren't going to tune into a lot of... No, it's an hour of me going, It's a serious conversation about film. What did you think of Shudder Biggity Bang Boom Island?

I just saw the crazies. Bing Bing bang I'm crazy for the crazies Bing bang That's how we do this Hot tub time machine Comes out March 26 Hot tub time machine More episodes of the office

What else you got coming up Last comic standing Oh that's right New host of last comic standing Hot Tub Time Machine more episodes of The Office what else what else you got coming up Last Comic Standing oh that's right new host of Last Comic Standing you're the host of that yeah could be the best season ever nice

thank you and I want to say hello happy birthday to my daughter who's four years old y'all give it up please

yeah she's a fan of profane podcasts about the cinema who's four years old. Y'all give it up, please. Yay. She's a fan of profane podcasts about the cinema? She's just a fan of her daddy, her dada, and she, I don't have a daughter. David Feldman, you have a daughter? Well, actually, Craig, you do have a daughter, and I'd like to wish her a happy seventh birthday. You don't know about this.

Whoa! Craig's daughter, bingity bang bang boom bang. For the listeners at home, that laughter is because Craig just looked at Graham as if he was a hot tub time machine.

David Feldman, your podcast is called what again? The David Feldman Comedy Podcast with Eddie Pepitone, Jim Merle, and the Clutter Family, and perhaps one day we can schedule... I'll try to get on there, yeah. I'm going to try to make that happen. I sound sarcasm

Anything else going on? Can you tell us one joke Can you tell us a rejected joke for the Oscars That you wrote and they said no We're not going to say that I don't know what's been rejected So I can't We'll have to have you back on

To do a post game show I can't believe I didn't pick this one. But we can do that. Okay. All right. You ever have to see Bruce Vlance with no shirt on? He's a very sweet man. And by that I mean he tastes delicious.

Do you guys go sauna-ing together after a long day of riding? Okay. My plugs are... I don't really want an answer to that. My plugs are I'll be at the Cap City Comedy Club with Graham Elwood in Austin, Texas, March 9-11, 2010. It's important to say the year because people could be listening to this after we're all dead. I have a band called the Nasty Delicious. I just wanted to get that out there. Go ahead. People should Google it The Nasty Delicious I just wanted to get it out there People should google it

Nasty Delicious Or does something else come up If you google Nasty Delicious The Nasty Delicious Two girls one cup full of Nasty Delicious Why are you groaning at that Because you watched it and I didn't Hyenas Comedy Club in Fort Worth

with Graham Elwood in March 25-27, 2010. And also Graham and I will be at the Wilbur Theater in Boston on April 2nd. People in the audience just went, woo. One more round of applause for my guests. Thank you so much, guys.

That was a lot of fun. I just want to say uh two more things one is rest in peace andrew kanick i had to stop to make sure i didn't mispronounce his name because i've been complaining about how larry king and everybody else in the news is mispronouncing it and then i almost fucked it up uh but i I do miss him and as always thanks to Zach and the audience Richard Sadler is a shithead yeah take that Richard Sadler

Dickie Sads There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies