Doug Loves Movies - Dale Cheesman, Jacob Sirof and John Tole guest

Episode Date: May 14, 2018

Live from Comedy Works in Denver, Doug welcomes Dale Cheesman, Jacob Sirof and John Tole to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hi, hi, hi, everybody. My name... My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again from beneath the ground.

Downtown at Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado. Oh boy, we are doing it, you guys. I'm very organized. This is going to be great. Where are my mothers at? Do we have any mothers out there? Yeah. Thanks for coming out, moms.

It's your special day. I don't know how I'm gonna help with it, but That's the choice you made. Go into a basement watch a bunch of men argue about movie trivia. It's Sunday, May 13th, 2018. As I've already mentioned, it's Mother's Day, and I'd like to see some mother grabbing name tags on this special. Wow. All right.

Okay. Wilson is back. That. All right. Okay. Wilson is back. That's always exciting to see. We got a bowling pin. What's your name, sir? Michael. Michael. And you wrote it on a bowling pin?

Yeah. Okay. Get Scotty. That's more what we're looking for. That's like, instead of get shorty, change it to get Scotty. Just hold up an inanimate object. Oh, you worked your name into Big Lebowski?

Yeah. Okay. There's candies and Tito's on this. What does it say on it? Three men and a what? Kitty. Three men and a kitty? And your name is Kitty?

Yep. Wow, okay. And you just plastered it with candy and Tito's. And an edible. And an edible. And see, here's the thing. I must remind you and all the listeners, I don't pick the name tags.

My guests are going to choose, and those three things might not be their favorites like they are mine. Although, are you spitting in my face with that dark chocolate Kit Kat? Because I said they were like, thought every flavor's for everybody. And I went, yeah, the white chocolate one sucked dick too. I didn't say suck dick. That is...

Don't talk to Kit Kat like that. Talk to Twix like that with their two stupid factories. One that does it one way. The other does it the other way. But thank you for bringing all those amazing name tags. Denver always shows up with the name tags. I appreciate it. Doug Plugs.

The Doug Loves Movies premium episode from Rosemont, Illinois with Adam Burke, Jeff Tate, and Colt Cabana should be available now in the comedy album section of iTunes for two bucks. It's already been on the Doug Loves Movies

dot com site. Thank you to everyone who's purchased it. Doug Lovesmovies.com site and be, thank you to everyone who's, who's purchased it. Douglovesmovies is back at the Varsity Playhouse in Atlanta on Sunday, August 12th at 420. And there's lots more dates to be found at Douglovesmovies.com. That's Douglovesmovies.com! Yeah! Yeah!

That's Douglovesmovies.com! Yeah! Okay, so this is what it sounded like to me. That's Douglovesmovies.com Denver! Yeah! Dot com! Yeah! Denver! I fucked it up. I didn't do it right, but... There was somebody who really tries to squeeze in

an early Denver. I've probably talked about this before. I repeat myself. you know how we are and but on the Hamilton soundtrack I really enjoy the song about the Schuyler sisters because it's

what's her name Eliza and Peggy and Peggy doesn't have anything to do in Hamilton, she's a kid she's barely in the fucking thing. So when they're singing about their names, she just goes, and Peggy a couple of times. It's just like such a fucking stupid throwaway thing.

And then Weird Al did his version of Hamilton. And what's the first Skylar sister's name? Angelica, that's it. So on the Weird Al version, he goes, Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy. Oh, it makes me laugh so hard. Okay, so we did all the plugs. I'll talk about my prizes I brought

along with my guests and whatever they brought. We got three funny gentlemen to bring to the stage right now. So please give it up. I don't say warm welcome anymore.

Yeah, because people make fun of me for fucking it up. But anybody can say, please give it a grrve it up for... Please grrve it up. For John Toll, Jacob Searff, and Dale Cheeseman. Put my cell phone on silent. I'm so silly. I want to put my notes near my drink, you know, on the table, but my drink of choice is, of course, one of those classic alcoholic beverages

that just sweats all over and just leaves a big puddle on the table. So it's always a mess, and I'm always just dealing with it over here. But thank goodness we have three funny comedians to fill in while I'm just cleaning up my table. I mean, normally we do. You're looking around like... Yeah, that was y'all's cue. To be funny. Oh, okay. I thought we were getting introduced

i'm on board with that i was i was i had i was all right i wasn't queuing anything i was about to say let's meet them individually yeah as i often do have you heard the show dale have i heard the show have you have you heard the show, Dale? Have I heard the show? Have you heard of the show? Hey, how come you don't brag about being on it on your Twitter page anymore? Your thing used to say, I'm on Doug Loves Movies. Now it doesn't even mention me. What does it say now? It says, Doug Loves Movies is stupid.

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. That's because that's what I believe and I stand by it. Okay. So yeah, let's meet them individually, starting with my favorite to my least favorite. I'm just going to use the bathroom. You don't know. You're in no hot water so far today. Yeah, have you checked the internet?

Dale is just filling a warm tub. Is that my introduction? No, I intimated that you were going to get introduced last. I'm still hoping. That was definitely going to happen. But, you know, somebody has to be last. And somebody has to be first. And that person, everybody, is John Toll.

It's here for John. What's up, Denver? Nice. First time guest on the show. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for being here. You know, without guests It'd just be me

Singing songs from Hamilton I don't care Angelica Angeliza And Peggy Shout out Lin-Manuel Miranda Good friend He follows me on Twitter

But if I DM him He doesn't respond Same problem Hey Lynn I've got some notes Hit me back He just thinks you have a song That you want to pitch to him

I've got a bunch of notes First one C sharp Now hear me out bunch of notes. First one, C sharp. Now hear me out. John, how are you at movie trivia? Is that in your wheelhouse? Yeah, I don't hate it. Alright, well I think you're perfectly qualified. Thanks.

To be here today. And sitting to John's right, well, I think you're perfectly qualified. Thanks. I fit in. To be here today. And sitting to John's right, you know him, you love him, as, you know, possibly North America's number one prequel apologist. Don't clap, you nerd. It's Jacob Searoff, everybody! Hi, Denver. Go Raiders.

I was just about to say, the Denver crowds love you because you come in here and you just, you know, you are what you are. Yeah. And then you immediately say something to upset them.

I'm thrilled to be here. It's great. I have to tell this guy, though, stop doing so much live internet. You know, the Instagram live. Don't do that. That's annoying. I met him last time I was here

and he's always doing this iReed Genetics live right next to you. Yeah, you're always doing the live video. Stop doing that. I always hit the notification. I have to clear it. Sometimes I go in on accident. Why are you going after Rasta Jeff like that? I love him.

It's just too much. He's a crowd favorite. I know, it's just a little too much. You can't have this conversation with him in the alley after the show? You're bringing it up now? Hey, it's great to be here in Denver, but that guy... This internet account is a nightmare for me. No, great posts, great feed, just too much with the live Instagram.

You know that's in a way when you... I didn't... Maybe you had somewhere to be. I want to make sure I told you. I don't know if you're going to hang out after. He's just got to drive back to Boulder, that's all. And be careful out there, you guys. They say it's gonna rain. This just in. But Jacob, uh...

Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. Oh, a big Peggy fan. I'm not giving her enough credit. She has some stuff. She has some stuff in the show. Yeah, she's like, Daddy said not to go downtown, and that's her.

She sings that line. Yeah, she sings a couple lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in the story, she doesn't grow up to marry one of the... No, she died young. Yeah.

Yeah, so... And Peggy sums it up. And on the panel today. Least favorite. I'm just saying, these are the rules we're playing by. And cheese man. Hurts every time. Wait, did I say least favorite of the three that are on stage right now?

Is that what I said? I think you inclined least favorite of the show as a whole. Oh, wow. That's hundreds of guests. That's how I'm taking it. There's been hundreds of people. Make bad paint. Some of which I throw a whole. Oh, wow. That's hundreds of guests. There's been hundreds of people, some of which I throw off mid-show. Thousands. So I

think you wouldn't, it's impossible to rank that poorly in that group. You couldn't be the worst. But a lot of people think you're the best. Yeah! There's one right there. Well, there's one born every minute.

It's Dale Cheeseman! This is great and so undeserved. You know, I feel like when people say it casually, they change it. I'm realizing they did it to David Letterman as well, right? Dale Cheeseman. If you say it quickly enough, it sounds like it's E-N

instead of A-N. If you say it quickly enough, yeah, I guess. If you say it the right way, it's just Cheeseman. Wait, that's what just happened to me. I said Dale Cheeseman, and then it comes out as an E, you know, like,

that's probably how Oprah would say it. Cheese Main is a weird Chinese dish with just a heated Kraft single over some noodles. Cheese Man, which is apparently I built all of Denver's parks

but um so there's a lot of cheese man parks yeah apparently where like every bar I've been to in Denver everyone's like

giving me like a oh are you from that family and I'm like no we were the ones that were cast out of Colorado years ago

they should open up some restaurants around here too cheese man there's cheese man park which I'm super excited about. I went to Cheese Man Park and it's like the number one gay prostitution trolling area.

I can't, I cannot wait to tell my dad that. It's gonna be great. I'm sure he knows. What do you think I was doing? Probably named after him. Dad, why is his statue so polished? You know, if Terrence Howard ever plays in a movie, it could be, cheese man.

You know, I've often flirted with the idea of Terrence Howard adapting my life for a movie. Meet me in my park. That's the number one thing. That's what he would say. Yeah, I'll be at my park. Alright, so you came in from Houston. Thank you for that.

Alright. Thank you. There we go. It's good to be here. I like it. Sometimes people, you know, in Denver, the drinks go to their head faster. Oh yeah, that's happening.

Come to a 420 show. Let's find a 420 show, have a couple drinks, and then out of control. I've got a nominee for that. I've already found them in the audience. They don't know who they are, I don't think. But they might figure it out. Now I'm going to be looking the whole time. Well, I'll tell you, it's not Rasta Jeff. And it's not the big Lebowski bowling bin guy. Is it someone who slurred their cheer for Houston?

I don't even remember that happening. You slurred a cheer. Right. That's redundant. I heard that from over here. Very reluctant. They didn't know they were cheering until halfway through. What? City? Yeah!

They got a zoo here. Fuck yeah! And they got like elephants. They got a natural habitat, cold as fuck. You know those ice elephants. It's like boss level elephants. Oh no, here come the snow elephants. Let's trip them like Luke did and...

Strikes back. That sounds like the cocaine dealers on the way when I hear that. The snow elephants are coming. I get excited. Alright, so who wants to tell us about their prize bag first? Who's excited to share? Oh, I'm very excited. All right, let's start with Dale. I've got a custom hand-painted...

You guys need to get out more. That painting made everyone go crazy. How about you even just walk down the street? The gallery's right there. But tell them about what it is for the listeners. I could not be more sincere right here. I walked into the store to get this for myself. I love, oh,

god damn, I love Harry Potter. And this is, this is a tribute to Snape. It's so good. It's so good. It says, after all this time,

and then his famous response, always, the inspiration for some of this. Which has been the inspiration for half of the shitty tattoos in this audience. I gotta do. Thank you, Dale, because I have a new micro impression.

This is Alan Rickman being asked when he knew he was gay. Always. And then for fun, you can throw in Mr. Potter. But it was actually Dumbledore who's gay, so don't spread any rumors. Yeah, it's got Alan Rickman looking very passionately at the viewer to give you that unsettledness. Yeah, you can't.

There's nowhere in the room that he's not looking at you. Judging you. Even if you're in the other room, you'd probably feel it. So whoever gets this better fucking deserve it. Yeah.

Because I want this framed in my house so unironically. It is beautiful. It does have the dark mark, which is the swastika of the Harry Potter community. But

if you can get past that, it's fine. I was like, dark mark? They finally have a black character? Oh! Dark Mark. I'm not going to tag it. There's no reason to make it worse. I said it.

I'm going to stand by it. All right. So I'm going gonna say something that I brought. I mean, you brought more stuff than that? No! This is a hand-painted $150 value. Whoever wins, give me $150 so I can buy one. Right. Alright, well, somebody's gonna wear a shirt that goes for an unfair $22.50.

That's a good deal. I don't know what it goes for, actually. One of those. And then one of my CDs you can find in the rap section because that's what people think it is. It's a smug life. That's in Walmart's in the wrap section? All right, Jacob, what do you got?

Too much stuff. Oh, look at you. You brought your own bag. That's the club one. The Comedy Works gave you that to give away as well and add to the prize. Some Samoas. Some Samoas, yeah.

From our friends, the Girl Scouts. But wait, now the girls can be in Boy. From our friends, the Girl Scouts. But wait, now the girls can be in Boy Scouts. What happens to Girl Scouts? It just becomes better because why do they want to hang out

with a bunch of stupid boys? You know what? We don't really have the time. That was a real question. I want an answer from everybody starting with Rasta Jeff. Go ahead, Jeff.

Do it live. I don't see gender so I don't know the answer. Rasta Jeff's like,, Jeff. Do it live. I don't see gender, so I don't know the answer. Rasta Jeff's like, hey, man, I ate more cookies than I tied knots, so... Girl Scouts all the way. All right, so also I got a... I brought some prosthetic stuff, like some fangs and weird, like, loser ears. Okay, you can hang on to those. I don't want them.

Somebody will listen. Loser ears? Yeah, like, you know, like elf ears. Like, if you want to, you know don't want them. Loser ears. Yeah, like, you know, like elf ears. Like if you want to dress up like a loser or something. Like your son put on these elf ears. Oh, yeah. Oh, I get it. If you're like some, you know, boo.

If you're like a Lord of the Rings juggalo or something. Then I also brought, this is a perfect, I paid money for this at some point in my life. It's London Calling by The Clash. I'm not listening to a CD ever again. Who buys music? It's 2018. You buy music at Best Buy.

I guess I did. I probably bought it used. If you love exposition shots in movies of London, you're going to love this song. Right? Almost done. Then I got a screener of Molly's Game because that doesn't interest me. But I'm sure it's good. Was it good?

Yeah? Okay. Never mind. Give that back. No, I don't do DVD. You should watch it. Do you like poker? Do you like the game of poker?

No, not really. They don't play it much in it. Are you not showing it? No, I'm gonna. And then just on top of all that, I have an even better thing than season one. Way better. From the same guy.

I have to tell you, for those at home, this is Darth Vader riding a unicorn. Lightsaber extended. I mean, if you're a baby who's into Disney, then we sure. This is obviously the George Lucas unicorn, not a Disney unicorn. Clearly. You can tell by the shading. By that dick.

I would like to say that initially I thought, same with Dale, I was like, I'm going to keep this thing. It's really cool. And then I thought, well, maybe that'll be funny. I'll pull it out and act like I'm going to give it and then take it back. And Dale was like, definitely, you should do that.

That's so good for your character. Everyone hates you. I thought it's way better to just upstage him and give it to you guys. That's actually a crossover. That unicorn is the unicorn

from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone that Voldemort fed off of. Two-thirds Harry Potter. You can put that stuff back in the bag and then pass the bag over this stuff goes yeah I was just gonna hold it the whole time I got a comedy works generous enough to give us a certificate that entitles the bearer to four tickets to see Moses storm May 31st to June 2nd at the

comedy works south over at landmark or you can see him here on June 3rd so those are your options for tickets yeah that's going that's going to the old prize bag this is a nice golf clap yeah Moses storm he's not playing for 40 days That's going in the old prize bag. Moses Storm? Nice golf clap. Yeah, Moses Storm. He's not playing for 40 days and 40 nights?

How'd you bring Josh Hartnett into this? Also included in the prize bag today, a gift card good for $50 towards food or game time at Topgolf. Oh, nice. That was a very golf response. That was a Simpsons-ass response. The only thing better is if y'all had clapped with two fingers. It's a brand new washer dryer. We'll see how he plays this one.

All right, so yeah, so apparently that's, you guys love that place. That's a pretty good prize. You guys have really been enjoying these prizes. John, what do you think? You got a pretty pink bag. Thank you. It's festive. It's Mother's

Day, Doug. I'm going to keep with the art theme as I have the special edition VHS, the best version. And also now blessed by Jacob Searoff, VHS set. And now Cheeseman owns it. They're all right.

I brought it. I've never seen it, so. Was it for kids? They're VHS tapes. Like space wizards? Yeah. I don't know about y'all, I like my wizards on Earth.

We're gonna, we'll put those back in the bag, but what else have you got? I brought a pre-roll, and I brought a lollipop for you people. Nice. I have one single foot warmer in case you need to pass a drug test.

That might work. Okay. No? What? Do you guys have chops? Is there still a drug testing business in Denver? It's run by the pot industry. Oh, yeah.

Because of the other ones. I forgot. I forgot. It's run by the pot on the street. Oh, yeah, because of the other ones. I forgot. Four tickets to see me headline the South Club. Thank you.

Yeah. All right. Father's Day, 3 o'clock, and it's all ages, so I have to work clean. Holy shit, but the audience doesn't have to work clean. Right, right, yeah. And then we'll see. You didn't hear that from me. And I brought two...

Don't tell this to your fuck! My newest album, Whatever It Is You Do All Day, I recorded here downtown last March. You get that. And a copy of Pit Boss 2000. The cult of fuck yeah. So you get all that. It's not as good as the start.

Yes, ma'am? You remember earlier when I said that there's a potential problem audience? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. I've been doing this for a while. She's from Houston, I guess. What's up?

Dale's like, no, lady, don't do it. If you're from Houston, I'm trying to stop this now don't make us look bad she's had something to add to the bag everybody I think you've added enough she's in the bag

but um yeah I don't like to make fun She's in the bag. But, um, yeah, I don't like to make fun of disabled, but, um... No, disabled by alcohol. You all got that, right? Yeah, you got it. I'll make fun of the disabled all day, but drunk people, no.

They didn't choose it. They didn't choose it. I think it was our 22nd president who said, please approach the stage before he was murdered. So let's give it a whirl. Please approach the stage, ma'am. But bring the thing for the bag. You said you have something for the bag? Yeah. Yeah, okay, it looks like you have nothing in your hands.

Oh shit. Looks like, yeah, there's some difficult steps. Sorry about that. This guy sitting right there is a real gentleman. He didn't do shit. Doug, you are the father. Are you out of your mind? It's a podcast.

They might want to hear it. I don't think they need to hear it. But where's the thing for the bag? They confiscated it. Oh, it got confiscated. Okay. I know. and that, you should have heard

how rough that word is for... But I know we have to stop this, but, well... I'll get it from them after the show, and we'll give it out on another show. But thank you for bringing it.

No problem. You're welcome. You can tell me what it is, but you're extremely comfortable with your back to an audience blocking for many the people came to see. I just meant bring the thing up here is what I would ask you to come up here for. I wish I could. Okay, so what is it? There are the six

volumes of Alan Moore's Swamp Thing. A wicket. A little wicket. A little wicket from those movies. I like her now. Alan Moore's Swamp Thing. But there's clearly a sign out front that says

No Swamp Thing. And nobody dislikes her, Jacob. Oh, I meant I did, but I changed my mind. Oh, no, it's all cool. You feel sober? It sounds... You're killing it. All right, so thank you for bringing all that stuff, and we have a lovely person ready to escort you back to your seat. She's very nice, she'll help you out.

That's good. Round of applause. Yeah, be careful. She nailed it. Oh, there we go. That's good. Round of applause. Be careful. She nailed it. Oh, there we go. And when I say back to her seat, I mean the one in her home.

Alright, let's keep an eye on her because she's been talking a lot. That's why I knew it was going to be a problem. And I don't see any reason for her to stop talking now that she's been front and center. I still have to get the story of why those were confiscated. Why they were what? Why they were confiscated. Confiscated? Why they was confinated?

Why they're caffeinated. Why are those, why are they be caffeinated? Look, I'm not the drunk one we're making fun of right now. Maybe one of the things that she didn't get to mentioning was like a Game of Thrones spear

that she was wielding in a way that was dangerous to everyone around her. Really buried something. That they just took the Swamp Men stuff just for the giggles. I don't want to edit. I don't want to edit. It's good. It's good. It's not.

Wait, no, wait a second. I started it? Yeah, talk to the people sitting near her for having to hear her, the constant babbling since the show began. But yeah, one guy clapping is not even sitting near her. But she's just a nice lady who's had some alcohol drinks. Mother's Day. And it happens more often than not to somebody here in the basement during my shows.

Does it? Yeah, it does. She's a plant. This is a plant. She's too good. You know, the thing to do right now if you're a podcaster is to get your voice out. She's a plant. This is a plant. She's too good. You know, the thing to do right now if you're a podcaster is set it up on purpose

where you're mean to a drunk woman. Just a man yelling at a woman for disrupting his show really comes off cool. But I do appreciate her, in theory. Because she's a nice person, she brought all those nice gifts. But now we've got a show to do. I also brought... Back to the prize bag. You're half in the prize bag? Oh, you guys are going to love this. I got a... They gave me a cheeseburger.

Hang on, let me finish. They gave me a cheeseburger on the plane flying here. And this is the cheeseburger condiment box. I have no idea what's in it. They seal it up tight. And I kept it that way because I don't want people to think I messed with their condiments. Because you know you don't. up tight yeah and i kept it that way because i don't want people to think i messed with their condiments so i'm sure it's like mayonnaise and ketchup and uh maybe uh i don't know you know who

knows there might be a pickle maybe a pickle in there depends on where you're flying from get some chipotle sauce and then from that same flight i also got some pretzels i didn't want and um we got a Christmas ball. And finally, I think of all the prizes, and there's been some good ones, I think we saved the best thing for last. It's a copy of Denver Hotel Magazine. It's an extremely exclusive publication. We should get you a little stool set in front of you and you can put your drink on it. Can I start? Is that possible kind of thing demands

no I think I saw one backstage even you could go grab it yourself if you wanted to I'm gonna test my celebrity status hey can I get

a stool that's how you move up yeah there was an audience member that did it too. Whoa. All right. Hell yeah.

So that was a long process, but now we know what's in the prize bag. It's quite a good one, and I think it's going to be a pretty tight competition today. But really quickly, before we get to that part, let me just ask everybody, we'll start with you, Dale. What was the last movie you saw? Paycheck. Is that

Ben Affleck? Yeah. Okay. Did John Woo direct that? Ben Affleck? Yeah. Okay. Did John Woo direct that? I have no idea. I think maybe he did. I landed in Colorado. There's this thing called Dabs,

and then Paycheck was made. Really takes on a new meaning. Was there anything in the movie that stood out to you that you remember to this day? Michael C. Hall. Dexter is in it? Yeah. The whole time he was doing, he's an FBI agent,

and I just kept picturing him, like, shifty-eyed looking at the other FBI agents, like, if they only knew. My dark passenger is tingling. That's all he is to me now, is that lovable serial killer. Always. Mr. Potter.

It'd be a lot weirder Creepier Jacob We got more on paycheck? No it wasn't gonna be funny Go on I heard it in my head And I was like Nope good job

Jacob I watched a really depressing movie Called Stronger With Jake Gyllenhaal Oh yeah The Boston bombing thing And to be fair I didn't really depressing movie called Stronger with Jake Gyllenhaal to be fair I didn't really I mean I was watching the lady's iPad in the aisle across from me so I didn't hear the movie but I watched the whole thing

on her iPad and I looked really sad when he lost his legs and stuff yeah but what could they possibly be saying that you needed to hear yeah exactly there's a bomb he's in the hospital that's just terrible. He somehow still has the cutest girl in the movie. Likes him with no legs. Wait, was it focusing on the race

or the other stuff? The race wasn't a big part of it. No, it's just about his recovery. Does he in the end run again? It's one of the most respected marathons in the world and now we will never see a movie about the marathon. Well, I didn't...

He didn't run in the marathon. This is a movie. You're looking at this all wrong, Dale. But he didn't... Actually, the movie... I mean, as a runner... No, no, no. You weren't happy with two Prefontaine movies?

One more would have been the real story by tail cheese he doesn't run in the movie though he's like from what I gather he's stalking the girl that's running and then he somehow

I don't know this is without words this is what I'm assuming is happening he's stalking the girl that's gonna run in the marathon like he chased her out of a bar and he's like

I think I wanna sleep with you and she's like I'm doing the marathon tomorrow. If you want to hit on me, maybe do it there. So then he shows up at the marathon and then he gets his legs blown off trying to stalk her, I think. And then, but then she falls for him and visits him in the hospital.

This is, I've, I made like imaginary dialogue for all this stuff. I'm sure it's better than the, there's a big romantic speech. Like, look, a lot of crazy shit. Oh, I've just been trying to tell you I love you. The lady must have been really like, because when it got, there was like a sex scene, and she like, the minute it happened, she just skipped past it. How did she know how far to go? I don't know.

She just was like, fuck it. It's fine. Until it stops. This was on a plane? I never realized how deeply religious people there are in America until I fly. Like, they're on every flight for some reason. The ones that dress up. I can't believe

we let them travel. I can't believe they believe in traveling. That's just... But I like the girl in that movie. I'm going to look her up and watch more of her stuff.

She seemed good. She had good... She had a good physical performance. Great body language. Wait, one minute? Yeah. We'll have to find that. Yeah. She, performance performance great body language you know what actress it was yeah it's a

something she's got a black name what's her name what's her name it's like Tatiana Tatiana Tatiana

something she's Canadian I did like I did like a shallow dive but I didn't do the deep what's her name yeah she's great a huge fan obviously Tatiana something. She's Canadian. I did like a shallow dive, but I didn't do the deep. What's her name? Les Limey? Yeah, she's great.

A huge fan, obviously. She stars in that show. Right, the Orchid. Where she plays all the parts. The Orchid or the something. Orphan Black. Orphan Black. Yeah.

All right. Orphan is the new black? Let's not get in the habit of yelling out things. But thank you for that. John, what have you seen 1974 the gambler you haven't seen a movie since that's a good one right so if you like drugs and Jimmy Kahn that's the movie to watch it's just him it's just him spinning out of control gambling, right? Absolutely degenerate gambler and an amazing story.

Yeah, just losing more and more money. The mob is mad at him. Yeah, the whole thing. All right. They tried to remake it, it was awful. Oh, with Wahlberg? Yeah, friend of the show. Yeah.

Oh, if he was here, you're lucky. You're lucky. Don't know. We're good enough. I feel like now... Now I'm developing a theory, a new theory, that every Mark Wahlberg remake is terrible.

Groundbreaking. Yeah, I could do that better. But I mean, but it's with, he works with accomplished filmmakers, like the gentleman who just died, who made Silence of the Lambs, Jonathan Demme. He worked with him on a remake of a Hitchcock movie called Something About a Lady.

And then... You know what I mean? And then he was in that terrible Planet of the Apes movie that Tim Burton made. And then he's in the one you just mentioned now, the remake of The Gambler.

Right. Yeah, so that's my new theory. I second it. I've had better ones. Which Boston? Like, J.K. Simmons is the same character in both La La Land and Whiplash. He's mad fighting Ryan Gosling for being great at playing jazz in his restaurant

because he gave up playing jazz and he's just angry about it and that's why he keeps yelling at him. It's the same guy. And all of it was to move on from being obsessed with photos of Spider-Man. We are farmers. Alright, so that was the part of the show where I tell Bert Kreischer to turn it off because I'm going to say

let the games begin! I do not envy you guys with your options today in name tag selection, but please, gentlemen, pick a name tag. Just go grab the one you like and bring it back to your seat. And while they do that, we'll go listen to these words. Hey, there are no sponsors for this ep, so I'm going to go ahead and rattle off a bunch of my road dates.

I've got a lot of stand-up shows where you can bring a name tag and play Last Man Stanton or maybe another game from Doug Loves Movies. And then lots of Doug Loves Movies tapings. And, of course, you want to bring name tags to those. tapings and of course you want to bring name tags to those seattle washington the neptune theater doug loves movies on may 23rd may 27th toronto ontario canada at the royal cinema that's the doug loves movies taping at 4 20 on may 29th Loves Movies is back at the UCB Franklin in Los Angeles, California. June 2nd,

August, Texas, Cap City Comedy, Doug Loves Movies taping at 420. The next Saturday, June 9th, Houston, Texas, The Secret Group, Doug Loves Movies taping at 420. We're finally making up for that

show that got shut down due to the storm in New York a while back on June 13th at the Gramercy Theater. There's some tickets left for that. We're returning to the Helium Comedy Club, it's a gas, in St. Louis,

Missouri on June 16th. And I'm doing stand-up in Kansas city, Missouri at the improv on June 19. So many more shows coming up so much for you to watch me do. So go to douglasmovies.com for more deets. All right, we're back. And we did it. No one got injured. Dale, who do you

play on behalf of today? Just because there's been a lot of disrespect thrown around tonight. I picked Mark Wahlberg's Contrabandy. No, I agree. Bandy is a weird name. But it fucking works.

Oh, it's probably Andy, isn't it? Contraband was a remake of Blow yeah? no alright Jacob who are you playing for? I'm playing for The Breakfast Doug

and it's actually the guy's name is Doug as well oh okay it's not just but then it's got it's got Amy Miller

and me and you and I'm just glad I'm not, Mark Wahlberg is Judd Nelson, which is good. That's appropriate. Because, yeah,

because there was, you know, it was recently in the news because Molly Ringwald kind of reviewed the movie as like a, from the Me Too perspective and like he's the predator

in the movie so I'm glad that I'm not, I don't need that kind of fake movie poster representation. Anyway, I thought it was a good job and it was big. It was really big. Hold it up, somebody said. Jesus.

Usually I charge $200 for that. I think she was complaining about what you were doing to the show. Hold it up. No, but that's a good description of that name tag, Jacob. What do you got there, John? I've got a don't tell mom the Abbey sitter's dead.

Oh, Abbey. Bring that Abbey, yes. What was wrong with doing the boss, Abby? Oh, we got some crochet donuts. These are always fun to throw because they don't make a mess. Wait, this is a thing? I know, you were very shocked by it, so that's why I started describing it. Disappointed is the word I would use.

I didn't grab these to throw. I'm a proud, fat man. Yeah. But they're not. It is kind of... Why did you... Boo! They're even disguised in a voodoo donuts box.

I'm keeping two of them. I'm keeping two of them. But thank you for bringing those. What's your name? Amy. Amy, and we've had these from you before? No. No?

Someone else did it. Oh, okay. But somebody else did it. How long does it take to make one donut? About 45 minutes. 45 minutes. 45 minutes. And then I just go like that with it.

All that time and effort. So this is like weeks of work? A couple days. I hope it's worth it. I'm going to give a couple to my kids if that's okay. Do you want to autograph these before I throw them? I'll definitely put one in the prize bag.

Try to take out the lights. You're the natural. Oh. Oh. That ceiling really gets in the way. Give me those. I didn't realize mine were plain. No, I'm keeping these for my children. You picked what you got.

These are sprinkles. I'm keeping these. They're adorable. I'm keeping these for my children. You picked what you got. These are sprinkles. I'm keeping these. They're adorable. I'm keeping them. These are for my children, Cheeseman. You know how fat you are arguing over a fake donut? How sad would I be? I think... Proudly fat, proudly arguing over a fake donut. We haven't done anything and you're red and sweating.

We haven't done anything. We've just been sitting here talking. I'm wearing a jacket inside, not because I'm cold, but because I'm fat. A lot of jackets in here. Just putting it out. Well, I wish we had time for the games, but we had a lot of fun today. No, we're good. we're right on sketch.

It's funny, in the script I even wrote down, five minutes for a drunk lady. I'm not trying to be sexist. Every other place I go it's drunk men, but for some reason Denver, it's a drunk lady every time. I don't know why, but here we are. Let's start with a game called Purple Rain Man. I'll name the co-stars starting with third billing and then second billing and first building of a building.

What movie has this building in it? I will name them in order of the mashup title. This is only for the people up on stage. First person to guess the entire correct title wins. Guess as often as you like. Wait, this is the game where you list lower billed actors and we have to guess what movies they're in

and which pun lines up with the other one? Yeah, it's that one. Oh my god. Let's go, Doug. A lot of calculating. Alright. I'll tell you, I mean,

it starts to make more sense once you start playing it, but I'll name the, there's two titles that match together. Like, the game is called Purple Rain Man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like four layers I have to get through to get the right answer. Well, luckily, you're wearing three. He's wearing two, so technically he was counting as bad as one. Winter's show here, I want to give away ten more tickets, because they're available.

Doug loves roasts. We got a spilled bottle over here, but it's water, so everybody's safe. It's gonna be fine. Alright, so do you think you understand how this works now, Dale? Yes. Okay. And I'm calling it right now? Not going to do good. This is Jacob's to lose.

So is my wife. Oh, God. Jesus. My wife. Oh. Oh, God. Jesus. My wife. My wife. Third billing goes to Joe Beth Williams and Paul Giamatti. Ooh.

Hey, hey. Paul Giamatti. Hey. I hate that. This is if someone drives their car over Paul Giamatti's foot. Hey. his foot.

Hey! Uh, hello? Yeah, that's the other way he'd go with it. He'd either go dry or very angry. I'm sorry. Was I in your way? No, I wasn't. Alright, second billing goes to Estelle Getty and Monica Bellucci.

You got this deal. Bellucci is one of my favorite types of cheese, man. Jacob's thinking on it. You want that first build person? Persons? Yeah Sylvester Stallone Right

I'm not half of this And Clive Owen Stop or my mom will shoot up No, no, no Shoot off Shoot Stop or my mom Oh, fuck

Stop or my mom... Oh, fuck. Stop or my mom will shoot to kill. Stop or my mom... No, no. Stop or my mom will... Shoot... My load. Stop! Stop!

Or my mom! Not shoot out, shoot off. Stop or my mom will shoot a bunch. Everyone shut up, I got this. Shoot. Shoot. I'll rate it for you. Stop or my mom will shoot. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop or my mom will shoot. Stop. Or your mom will shoot. God damn it. It's the second word of the second movie. What? Just say it.

Guess a bunch of things. Stop it, my mom will shoot us. Stop it, my mom will shoot us. Stop it, my mom will... Stop it, my mom will shoot some smack. Stop it, my mom will shoot her Jennings. I know the fucking movie, but it's like the ridiculous

cartoon. We all know the movie. I'm not giving it up. It's one of my favorite movies. I got news for you. No, it's not. It's so good. He has a whole shootout while having sex. Oh yeah, there's a baby and everything. That's what makes it so great.

All right, so... Shoot off? Oh yeah, there's a baby and everything. That's what makes it so great. Alright, so... Shoot-off? We've got to wrap this up, this game. Shoot movie. Yeah, fucking shoot movie. But I think... Stop it, my mom will shoot up. Stop it, my mom will shoot him up.

Shoot him up! Shoot him up, shoot him up. Shoot him up! Shoot him up! Shoot him up! Shoot him up! God damn it. Nice. The whole time. That is not... It's a shoot him up movie. That is not mic droppable, that.

That embarrassing moment from trivia history. That's a no. I am the mic holder. God damn it. You both committed to stop or my mom will shoot up. I was committed to it. There's a movie called

Shoot Up. Shoot him up. It is. He's British. He'll say whatever. Whatever. Doesn't faz M. Whatever. Whatever. Doesn't faze me.

Alright, so Jacob pulled that one out. Pulled that one out of me. That's like a Jeopardy when one contestant pronounces it wrong and the next person just pounces, just says it the right way. Oh, nice assist. It is exactly like that.

Exactly like that. I'm not sure you knew Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. I didn't. Yeah. I didn't know the whole first movie. All right. Should have eaten more carrots. It's a shoot-em-up joke, don't worry about it.

Let's play Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? So we'll start with Jacob and then we'll go to Dale and then to John and you each get one chance to name the movie that this is the tagline for. It's used on posters or advertising or, you know, it's made up by IMDb. Some of them seem a little fishy, but we'll see how we do. Jacob, are you ready? I'm ready. What movie had the tagline, A Mighty Motion Picture of Action and Adventure?

I bet in your head right now you've narrowed it down to thousands. Just skip. A Mighty Motion Picture. Dale's trying to get you to pass I don't know why But Cause I'm that confident Of action

And adventure It'd be pretty funny If the movie was called Action and Adventure Any guess? I think mighty's the Mighty might be It has nothing to do with it

Don't worry about it It's not It's not the mighty Quinn No There was not I think Mighty's the... Mighty might be. It has nothing to do with it. Don't worry about it. It's not the Mighty Quinn. No, there was not much action or adventure in that. It's a good movie, though, the Mighty Quinn. I'm not going to... It's not... Star Wars. Star Wars.

Is it the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie? Mm-mm. John? I'm sorry, Dale? Thanks. Because he just said my answer. Yeah, just to clarify, it's not that movie? Would you like to hear it again?

I would, please. A mighty motion picture of action and adventure. Country of origin? No, John. Mighty Joe Young. No. Good guess, though. Lawrence of Arabia.

Is that black and white? No. I like how before you said, who saw that, you moved your mic away from your mouth. Keep the gold in the microphone. I like how you thought country of origin was my guess. Anyways, I'd like to say my turn now. Let's just say, I knew you weren't going to get there. Lawrence of Arabia.

Starring? All right. Charleston. Charleston Jitterbug. Virginia. All right, so this is going to be Jacob starting again. That last one was just for fun. Just to warm up.

Just testing the waters. This one should be much easier. No, they're all incredibly difficult. Jacob, a legendary hero. And the tale that's never been told. Okay, so they're throwing out the premise that this character is legendary. Everyone knows.

And yet the story has yet to be told. Would it be Young Sherlock Holmes? That would be a good one for this tagline, but no. Dale? Midlife Sherlock Holmes. The live action Beauty and the Beast? That's the exact same tale. It's old as time, dude.

I've never been told before with people. I don't know. Fuck off. Go to hell. Can I have that repeated again? John, do you have a guess. Can you please repeat it? A legendary hero and the tale that's never been told.

Oh, now I get it. It's got to be about a mute hero. No, I think I... Is it Home Away? No, I don't know what that is. Was it... What?

Do you want to... Second round of guesses. Yeah, just because you said now I get it. It wasn't a clue. Oh, no, it wasn't a clue. Oh, okay. No, I just sort of get

why they thought they could get away with that. It's a terrible tagline. The motion picture is called Braystoke, the Legend of Tarzan and the Apes.

And their attitude is like this is a part of the of his story that's never been told. But, you know. It really wasn't. My second guess was going to be A Quiet Place. I was going the other sister. Because everyone knows it, you just don't talk about it. I like it.

Jacob, you're up first. This movie claims their tagline is where you are the endangered species. You are the endangered species. Probably not surviving the game, is it? No.

Dale? Jumanji into the jungle? Does that got dinosaurs? Does this have dinosaurs? have dinosaurs? On that, I deserve a second chance. Wow.

Hey. Yeah? Set you up perfectly. Go for it. What do you think, John? Jurassic Park? No, it doesn't have dinosaurs. Why would you do that?

Why would you set me up? You know I have zero knowledge and then you put a fucking dinosaur on a plate and then he sells it like he knows. The fuck? Is Natasha Henstridge in it? Yeah, it's... I just was wondering if Jumanji had dinosaurs. Because I thought Welcome to the Jungle was all, like,

animals that probably are an endangered species. Although all of them are now, right? Thanks, Obama. That means something differently now. Did I say the title? No. It's the movie Congo. I cycled through that one.

Can you call a fictitious animal endangered? I guess you can. Never mind. Moving on. They don't have real monkeys in Congo? Well, they had those like the... Oh, apes, not monkeys. They were like...

I call them all monkeys because they don't know I'm doing that. Looks like you need to go to the library. You know what? Other people being offended by what I call an animal who doesn't know what I'm saying doesn't really affect me. Stupid monkeys. Apes. I mean, monkeys are going to be next.

When robots take over, monkeys are going to take over from robots. Yeah, monkeys, if you're listening, watch out. They're too real in here. Jacob, you get to go first. Okay. Yep, until somebody gets one. Not that it's easy. Not that it's easy.

Jacob, what movie had the tagline I am not an animal. I am a human being. I am... The elephant. Let me... Okay, you didn't let me finish. Dale?

The elephant. I thought that you... You didn't let me finish either. John? Well, go ahead. I am... Amen. Okay, now I'm finished Wait, what was the rest?

No What is it, Jacob? What was the rest? Is it the elephant man? Yeah Oh You were just guessing before I was finished

I thought you were I thought you were like I am and you were like cueing me to say it The elephant I am I'm making you say

you're the elephant man? Yeah Everybody was like That's what the the... I'm making you say you're the elephant man? Yeah, like everybody was like, I'm more like a... That's what the line is, is I'm a human being, I am... there's ellipses. Sises. Right, but you said I am... I am, and then you started saying elephant man, a man. Oh, I thought it was I am the elephant man.

Right? Legend. Yeah, and then he just... and then he just jumped in and said it before I finished saying it, which is what I accused you of doing. See, wasn't that fun? Yeah, I just, I thought you were, I thought you were, yeah, finished, but it's the elephant man. Correct. Cool. Jacob's on the board with one point.

Nice job. And now, Dale, this is your chance to jump in. Let's not get anybody's expections. Expections? Go sit in that empty chair. Lower your expections. Put your expections on the floor. Yeah, go put your expections outside.

I mean, exhibit a right there not doing well yeah he might when he knows the answer he's not gonna say it right opposites attract opposites attract like that's never this is probably the one movie where that happens the shape of water we should have special she's a land mammal

we should have special bonus's a land mammal We should have special bonus points For that kind of answer They still figure out how to fuck How was it about that? Luckily I got this mammal fish dick So let's do this When two things wanna fuck They figure it out

Life finds a way. So, was any of those words your guess? Doug, I'd like to submit that all of them were my guess. Okay, let me see if you said them just in the wrong order. No, I don't think you said... You might have said one of the words. Oh, interesting. Yeah, and it's not dinosaur.

Opposites of show. I know. For the listener, he's pointing to the back of the stadium a la Babe Ruth. For the listener, he's pointing to the back of the stadium a la Babe Ruth. Of course, Offices Attract was the hit song sung by Paula Abdul with her partner DJ Scat Cat. I'm sorry, MC Scat Cat. MC, sorry. Dean Knowledge. Mother Cuck and Scat Cat.

Whatever happened to him? He's got a tail. MCs have a tail. What happened? Yeah, they have quite a story to tell. They do it at the turntables. Have you thought of something to say yet? He's just giving you ten answers. Oh, look at that.

Aggression from the new guy. Alright, so no gas deal I made a very legitimate oh yeah okay I thought that was I saw that still fell under the joke joke realm no I'm really bad at this Go on. Was it my turn? Wait, yeah. Yes. John. Jungle Fever.

That's risky. I didn't make the movie. They would never call that that for so many obvious reasons. Well, also the full title is Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle Fever. Jacob. Steve, you wonder about that. No, he was saying Jungle Fever.

Never mind. That was a really deep cut. It was lost on this white crowd. Is this over yet? Are you going to guess? Yeah, I'm going to guess. I'm going to go with Opposites Attract.

How about X versus Sever? They end up together? I would assume. And then people want to know the full title. Tale as old as time. What was it?

X versus Sever. And they're yelling at the title like this might be the right answer. Yeah. No, it's something about What was X vs. Sever? And they're yelling out full title like this might be the right answer. No, it's something about ballistic. Oh, yeah, ballistic. Ballistic X vs. Sever. Great title.

I never did know who won that matchup. He was just a boy who worked for Cobra Commander. This was a tagline for, I think, a terrific Steven Soderbergh movie called Out of Sight. Yeah, that's a good movie, but why Opposites? Why Opposites, Jack? I don't know. They're in a trunk together. That's something they had in common.

Who was he? Because she's a cop and he's a criminal. Right. That's why they're opposites. I mean, whoever wrote this, like, it was Friday and they left at noon. It's not like Steven Soderbergh's renowned for his

word choice and dialogue. This is probably something he just phoned in at the end. I don't think he made up the tagline. Why not? Why would you phone it in at that moment? He's like, guys, I'll make this movie for you, but only if the tagline is opposites attract.

Because I think I'm onto something. Never been captured on film before. Alright, so that means that Jacob is our winner of that game. You did it. Nice.

Yeah, but this last one was fun, so I'm going to do it anyway. And you guys just Yeah. But this last one was fun, so I'm going to do it anyway. And you guys just guess out loud. You know what I mean? You don't have to wait your turn as soon as you're ready. Any pre-guesses? Lucky number 11. There was a... I couldn't get the...

There's a theme going today between... There's an actual theme between Lawrence of Arabia, Greystoke, Congo, The Elephant Man, and Out of Sight. They all have something in common. And this last one... Go ahead and guess when you think you know it. Bob's a special kind of friend.

What about Bob? That is it. What about Bob? The rest of it, though, didn't let me finish again. He's a special kind of friend. The kind that drives you crazy. Yeah, that was, somebody wrote that at six o'clock on a Thursday

and they were going away for the weekend. They got a three-day weekend coming up. But yeah, it was a terrible tagline. But all of those movies were edited by a woman who just passed away by the name of Anne V. Coates. She was a very talented film editor.

And she even edited a movie that I appeared briefly in as an extra, a movie called Listen to Me starring the great Kirk Cameron. And if you believe that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior, I'm sure you'd love that movie. Oh, it's great. No, it was before he flipped, before he became religious.

It's a movie about college debaters debating abortion. Yeah. And then he flips. Yeah, exactly. That's the movie that pushed him over the edge. I swear to God, he started doing, on set, he started doing like, he'd say, hey, do you want to come sit in the trailer?

We're going to have a prayer meeting. And he'd take out a guitar and sing Bible songs. All good prayers begin with a G. I was like, what is know sing bible songs all good prayers i was like what is happening i was like what is happening to this kid this kid he's you know and then we know what happened to him all right so springsteen's a gateway drug man he was really into springsteen that was his whole character i dabble easter sure. You know, but once you start doing it every Sunday, it becomes a habit. Which nun said that?

You know, you just gotta... Was it Whoopi Goldberg? Take it in moderation. I was a hero. Yeah, I think that's what they say about a lot of things. The moderation line. But you guys are doing great. You're all still here.

Very exciting because we got one more game to play. And it's called, of course, Last Man Stanton. Boom! Super difficult game, but we got some good players. So I got the perfect name. Okay, that's not how it works. But if it did, I'd have the perfect one.

That's what they all say, and then we find out if they do or not. And one person that wrote to me with that very same suggestion. This is a name according to this person, it's a name that's never been used before. That doesn't mean good.

He's going to be like, Anne V. Coates! No, where's John Bonsall? Or Jay Bonsall? Or J. Bonsall? That's not you. Shut up. Right over there? Okay. So you've been pre-selected to give us a name.

Thank you. You're welcome. Sounds like you got post-selected as well. I'm a pig. I'll explain the game really quick. Do you know how this is played, John? No. Okay. So we're going to get the name of an actor or actress from our friend. What is your first name, Jay? James. James. Okay. So James is going to give us a name and we're going to take turns naming movies that person was in. If you can't think of one, you're

out. But you get one lifeline. You can go to the person whose name tag you chose. What was her name? Abby. You can go to Abby one time for assistance in the game. And I play along in this game. That's why I don't know the name we're going to use. Have we met before, James? No. Wow. It's like he rehearsed that. Unnecessarily emphatic. If I were the prosecution, I would dismiss this juror. Have we met before? No.

Never, Douglas Benson. Okay, so, I've got waiting as a backup, because if you guys, if we get a name that all three of you shake your heads like, I don't know their movies very well, then we'll have a backup name and we'll play two names in one game. And where is Brandon J. Watson? Here, Doug.

Hi. Wow, that's polite. Present. Hello. I brought an apple. Present and accounted for. Brandon, you're going to be ready with another amazing name after

we find out what James has got for us, okay? Alright. You might not need it. You know, because if James is like, you know, another amazing name after we find out what James has got for us, okay? All right. You might not need it. You know, because if James is like, you know, fucking Clint Eastwood or something.

Yeah, it'll probably be shitty. He's sitting right there, Dale. All right, so what do you got for us, James? Seth Rogen?

Seth Rogen? Yeah! This used to be called the Seth Rogen game because he was one of the first names we used in the game. I feel like we just did Seth Rogen. Is that why you told him to say that

when you met outside before the show? This is all suspect. All right, so sounds like the panel's iffy on this one. What does the polite guy say? Let's go see what polite guy has to say. Brandon? Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd.

Paul Rudd. Ah, it's fucking... Wow. So we got a little crossover action. You guys expanded horizons. Let's confer as a panel. All right, so we got... We got Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd.

All right. I'm fine with either of them. Oh, okay. All right, so... There's not like some actors. Jacob starts us off, then we go to John, then me, then Dale,

and we just go around. You can name a movie from either of the... Oh, both? They've both been on Doug Lowe's movies that one time. I mean, on separate occasions, but, you know, they didn't want to come back.

They don't need to play these difficult games. All right. Jacob? Ant-Man. That's your favorite. Well, it's not my favorite Paul Rudd movie. Yeah, that's what I just said. But is it my favorite Seth Rogen movie?

Yes. All right, John. Anchorman. Okay, now, this is where you can get into some trouble on this show. You have to say the full... The legend of Tom Bergen. Okay. Does that count for both Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen?

Or can I say that again for the other one? No, I meant it for both. That's why I split it up when I said it. So the first half was... You can only say a title once, even though it's got both of them. It's my turn. Oh?

Yeah, so I'm going to take some wind out of your sails. I didn't see it. You saw it. I didn't see it. I'll say something different then, even though I don't know what you're talking about. I appreciate it. I hope you weren't about to say, let's say it together. If it's the same thing, I'll change mine.

Three, two, one. Dinner for schmucks. I'll change mine. Three, two, one. Dinner for schmucks. Okay, so I'm going dinner for schmucks. Dinner for schmucks? No, Paul Rudd is.

Well, the whole joke was that both of them were in it. No, the whole joke was I said a title that I knew what you were going to say. Wait, there was a joke?

I was going to say... Swat on and I drive. All right, fine. Jacob, your turn, you showboat. So what was his? Yeah, what did he say? His was dinner for Shmuck. She says 40-year-old virgin,

I say dinner for Shmuck. Mine was 40-year-old virgin. I'll go with this is 40. Okay. Sure. All right. If you want. If you want If you want Did I do that?

What a choice No I'm doing it John? Pineapple Express? Uh huh Very good I'm gonna go with A very disturbing movie

But I recommend it Observe and report. Oh. It's like the R-rated Paul Blart. I'm going to go with Clueless. Deep cut! I know. I shouldn't have.

I thought of it as my deep cut, and then I blanked on everything else. That's where he first came to our attention, I think. Jacob? The Green Hornet. Ooh. John? The fucking movie where they kill the guy.

Oh, shit. The Interview. Oh, the fucking movie where they kill the guy. Oh, shit. The interview. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's that one movie that wasn't good because, in fact, it was super bad. Oh! because in fact it was super bad. Yeah! No, Pineapple Express, we don't say that one. We did say that one.

We did say that one. Good, because I don't want to name that one. We go with... What do you got? Oh, I had like two I was holding for later and now I can't think of those either. Does one of them begin with a word? No, neither of them. It's that fucking...

You know the one? You got this. I know I do. Just give me a minute. A minute? Lifeline. Oh yeah, go to your lifeline. I'm not going to my fucking lifeline. No, you can recover those other ones later. This is too easy of a game to

Captain America Civil War. Wow. Jacob. Megamon. Okay. John. I'm going to have to use myamon. Okay. John? I'm going to have to use my lifeline. Okay. What do you got, Abby?

Right here. What do you got for him? Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That one. Oh. Who could forgetting Sarah Marshall? How many times can I ask her to do my answer for me? That was it.

Oh. Just one time. Yeah, enjoy your time. Because it's almost over. But something one of us say may trigger something for you. And then you'll be good to go. Like when I say... Thought I heard a mouth fart over there.

So I was like, is Peggy here? I'm going to go with the object of my affection. Jennifer Aniston. I love you, man. Yeah, we all love each other I had to give me a second three spit one out we're out of time go to your lifeline Wait, wait, wait Che's been got way more time than this No, go to your lifeline Paul Rudd's actually in the beginning of Spider-Man Homecoming

What? In the Spider-Man Homecoming He is? Yeah, Ant-Man's in the first scene On a cell phone footage What? Yeah Beginning of Spider-Man Homecoming

The crowd says what? Well, you guys need to watch Spider-Man Homecoming And then you won't have any Why does he get to make one up? Jacob watched Jacob's seen that movie a lot The crowd says what? Well, you guys need to watch Spider-Man Homecoming and then you won't have any. Why does he get to make one up? Jacob's seen that movie a lot. Is he in it as Ant-Man? Yeah, we got a confirmation from a lady.

It's a nice lady in the crowd. John, you got another one? Did anything come to mind in the interim? Unless Ant-Man was in Infinity Wars. That's my only guess. No, they even point out that he's on house arrest. Spoiler alert. Yeah.

Hawkeye's not in it either, as long as we're talking about him. Yeah, I don't think that's... I mean, that's pretty much out there. Also, people don't care about Hawkeye. All right, John, thank you so much for playing. Thank you, Denver. Do you want to leave? Great job, great job.

Now we continue on. Don't say any yet from the audience. I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm looking forward to the next few months because I'm expecting it to be a wet, hot American summer. You don't have a lot of female guests on the show, do you? Because I've noticed every episode, it's a total sausage party. Yay!

Do we have to do it again? See, as a professional, I didn't respond. I let you finish your joke. I thought you'd just frozen the whole time. No. No, I wanted you to have your joke. I thought you just froze in the head. No. No, I wanted you to have your joke and point out

there's a lot of women on the show and that I made a mistake by not having one instead of you today. Look, I just thought we had to deliver in pun form.

That was a good one. Look, I love women. I just... That was a good one Look I love women Jacob She's been lying backstage You told me that women Aren't funny people I agree That's what he said

God damn it The puns I don't know if that qualifies As a pun really It's a pun Close enough It's a pun. It's more of a home run. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. You know, it's funny. You were talking about the shape of water. But what I'm more interested in is the shape of things. I'm going to have to do this British. Yo, y'all best... What? Hey bruv. What? You two best lighten up, you're gonna get knocked off. Knocked up. No more impressions.

Whose turn is it, Jacob's? Yeah. What do you got? Um, shit. Use your lifeline then? No, I haven't used my lifeline. Has he used his lifeline? Go ahead and use your lifeline. I haven't used my lifeline. Well, that's why I'm...

Because we really got to wrap it up. That alley outside isn't going to smoke itself. What about movies that aren't out yet? How do you feel? Does it depend on the movie? I don't like ones that aren't out yet. We all know that's a cheap way to play. But if you want to go for it.

Ant-Man and the Wasp doesn't count. You're not gonna accept Ant-Man and the Wasp? Just go to your lifeline. Sure. You're still in it. I feel like I could have not, but okay. Right? We gotta rush. Monsters vs. Aliens. Monsters vs. Ali Monsters versus aliens.

I accept. Thanks, Doug. Yeah, both of them right now. That guy wants a cookie. He got a donut. I think that's where he was. Someone near him got it, which probably means as much to him

as if he had gotten it. Okay, so it's my turn, right? Okay, I had one a second ago. It was pretty good. I liked it. I was proud of it.

Oh. What's his name again? Steve Jobs! Oh, yeah? Yeah. Is that the actual title? Yep. It's just Jobs?

Okay, I'm out. Jobs is Kutcher. Steve Jobs is... Thank you. Thanks for having my back. Bowling pin. I mean, you had to use your lifeline. You don't feel safe about that.

It's gotta be sending y'all both down a guilt trip. Let go! Let go! I'm playing for the people that got me this stool, so I got a lot invested in this. And they didn't give you this story. Jake, have you got something? I'm not sure. I'm sure there's a million things.

There's a few. Just don't watch comedies too much. I don't know the full title. I don't think I'm going to... It's pretty rough for you. Yeah. I don't think cameos...

You out? No. It's like... No, because I'll do... What about... I'll try... How about... Anchorman 2.

It's going to be rough. The legend continues. Yay! Wow. That's my last George Foreman punch before Ali knocks me out. Yeah, I might be knocked out myself. But then I thought of this movie.

Sometimes if you just gesture, it'll just... It'll just pop out of you. You'll be so proud of yourself. Princess Avalanche. Paul Rudd, yeah. Tim and Emile Hirsch. Oh, the title's wrong?

What's it called? Prince Avalanche. Well well that is sexist all right so I'm out Dale bring it home mute mute I'm tired of your excuses Paul Rudd and a Skarsgard right one of the Skarsg. All right, do you have one more? What about your lifeline? You never went to your lifeline? Let's see if your lifeline has another one. No, Mute's a movie.

Yeah, Mute. I didn't go out yet. Do I have to use Mute? Oh, you're not out yet? I apologize. I apologize. Okay, go ahead. Did you want to name another one?

Rudd. Yeah, I forgot that you weren't out one of those guys has shown up in something I'm gonna say that I bet one of them was in oh man I know Paul Rudd was probably did you really say hey I'm still in

to do this remember what happened last time you finally pulled one out yeah pull one out he gave me one I didn't hear it. Don't give him any. Oh.

I think Paul Rudd. Yeah, I'm out. Paul Rudd. Because I said mine wrong. I said my title wrong. Was probably... The point is to say the title correctly instead of wrong. Was he in Tropic Thunder?

No. Neither one of those guys? Dale, do you have another one? Like maybe Prince Avalanche? This is the end. This is the end. All right, so now I'm going to say Dale is our winner.

Nice. Horrible name, so... And I'd like to point out to Jacob, no lifeline used. No lifeline used, but gauntlet thrown. I'd like to point out to Dale, I'm thin. And it feels so good. It feels so good it feels so good eat whatever I want Doug gave me a joke but it sucks

it's not a joke it's just another reason you're better than him is it because I'm Jewish is that what this is you're not Jewish either throw that in his face do I have to say it Is it because I'm Jewish? Is that what this is? You're not Jewish either. Throw that in his face.

Do I have to say? At least I'm not addicted to cigarettes, but I am. You smoke cigarettes too? Yeah. You both suck. Can you hear it? Contrabandy, come get your prizes. Congratulations. Congratulations.

Good job, dude. What was your lifeline? You had one. The story of us. The story of us. Give it up for him, guys. He was in The Nine and he was in, what's the one with Jennifer Aniston? Wonderlust. Wonderlust.

Was either of them in your highness? 50 is a great Seth Rogen. Was Rogen in your highness? I don't know. Role models. Wait, who's in Donnie Darko? Seth Rogen's in Donnie Darko? Seth Rogen's in Donnie Darko. That's cool.

There's a lot we missed. Yeah, there usually is. Everybody out there can think of one. And then wait and yell it at us at the end. But thanks to everybody for all those answers

and for being here today. Pass me your name tags, losers. I mean, fellows who did not come in first today. And we'll start with you, John Toll. What kind of plugs do you got? In addition to your show coming up here on Father's Day at the other Comedy Works. Right.

My album, Whatever It Is You Do All Day, is on iTunes. Go get it. My podcast, Whiskey and the Surfer, is on iTunes as well. Check that out. Denver's top iconic rock. Hey, can I guess?

Are you Whiskey on that show? I'm both characters. Oh, okay. Hey, can I guess? Are you whiskey on that show? I'm both characters. Oh, okay. It's two FM algorithms from a FEMA camp in 2065, 17 levels below the Denver airport.

Oh, shit. I was just talking about that. And then a big blue horse fell on me. You're the second guy I've killed. That's the joke I was making. So Abby, you didn't write a shithead on the back of your thing. Where's Abby at? Right here. Yeah, why didn't you write a shithead on the back? Because it's black and you don't have a silver sharpie? It's Peggy! Okay. I love it. Peggy's the shit head. Peggy is the shit head in that song. Thank you for being here, John.

Great job. Appreciate it. God bless you, Denver. Love you. Jacob Seroff, what do you got to plug? I'm going to sacrifice my plugs to give a shout out to my good friend Siddiqui Fuller who passed away

without warning yesterday a good friend of mine who I started comedy with about 15 years ago in Northern California and nobody really knows what happened

but he's not here he's a great guy and I bet you he would want you to have your plugs you know what I mean he'd say

go ahead and do your plugs he's a reasonable person sure well I didn't prepare any. All right. Jacob Seraf on Twitter. But yeah.

Go look at him and celebrate him. Look at his stuff. I'm sure it's on YouTube. Siddiqui Fuller. Yeah. I've always heard nice things about him. Sorry that we're coming to you, Dale, after a death notice. No, I get it.

I was also really good friends with Siddiqui, but I'll be at the secret group in Houston. We're doing a... Look, I started the show telling y'all that I was a huge Harry Potter fan. I wasn't fucking lying. I'm playing Harry Potter in the roast of Harry Potter at the Secret Group June 2nd.

Get tickets at the secretgrouphtx.com That's in Houston. Yeah. And check out all their shows there and all that shit. Check out Jared at the place that gave us the paintings.

I gotta plug that. The incredible art paintings. I've got to plug that. The Incredible Art Gallery. Throw his last name in there. Just saying Jared connotes awfulness. Jared Rosen. The manager. Jared at IncredibleArtGallery.com. 1-800-771-9501.

He has Disney on his business card. Everybody, flood the store with calls. Check it out. And every time, the first thing you should say when he answers the phone is, why is Darth Vader on a unicorn? And also have him send me another print of this Snape thing. Yeah, you got his card.

I fucking want it so bad. I can't afford it. They don't pay you money? You can't afford to call him? Don't you make money playing Harry Potter's uncle or whatever? It's a passion project. I eat the cost. It's fine.

All right. I got one more plug here. Seattle, see you Wednesday, May 23rd. Then Toronto, May 27th. And back in LA. May 29th. One more time for all of my guests, John Toll, Jacob Seroff,

Dale Cheeseman. Thank you to Comedy Works for letting me do my show here every Mother's Day. Thank you to the staff for working on Mother's Day. Thank you to all the mothers. Thank you to Mother's Cookies. And as always,

little kids acting like assholes at Mother's Day brunch. Ooh, topical. This just happens. Are a shithead. And of course, and Peggy, is a sh...