Doug Loves Movies - Dan Harmon, Jeff Davis, Esther Povitsky and "Mark Wahlberg" guest

Episode Date: January 22, 2018

Live from San Francisco Sketchfest, Doug welcomes Dan Harmon, Jeff Davis, Esther Povitsky and "Mark Wahlberg" to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you... from the Gateway, formerly Eureka Theater, it's San Francisco!

We are part of the 17th annual SF Sketch Fest presented by Audible. Are you guys having a good Sketch Fest? So much awesome stuff going on. Like my favorite thing that's happening this weekend at Sketch Fest is happening as we speak. So thank you for coming to this. Thank you for not having the same taste I have

and coming to this instead. It's Sunday, January 21st, 2018. We had a great time yesterday interrupting for eight of the furious over at the beautiful Castro Theater. So you guys were the people that just wooed you were at that show? Oh man, that was fun.

So with your busy schedule going to that show and marching and whatnot, did you guys have time to make some name tags? Oh, here they come. San Francisco never disappoints. Lots of crazy-ass name tags. Our

brand-un-crisis. Our brand-un-crisis. I like it. The Bills Have Eyes is a good one. If you're somebody named Bill. What's this one right here with the,

looks like Mark Wahlberg's on there? Trevor Say Trevor Again. And it's a James Bond movie, but you put Mark Wahlberg on there. That's a recasting I would be okay with. And then we got the classic light-up ones that I can't read at all because they're lit up on the edges, and it doesn't light up the middle part.

But what's the Dog Day afternoon one? What does that say? My name is Day. Your name is Day? So you didn't change shit. Thanks for being here, Dog Day. And thank you

for turning the house lights up, Gateway Theater. You can turn them down now and everybody put down those name tags and whip them

out in a little while. Good luck to everybody. Doug plugs, Tuesday, January 30th, Doug Loves Movies returns to the UCB Theater Franklin location in Los Angeles. Saturday, February 10th,

Doug Loves Movies returns to Helium in Portland, gas at 420. And we're doing the annual Valentine's Day Doug Loves Movies at the American Comedy Company in Sweet Home San Diego on Wednesday, February 14th, Valentine's Day. For all my dates and dates and links, go to douglosmovies.com. That's douglosmovies.com.

Yeah! Yeah! Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Past and future Douglas Mov movies guest Ken Jennings tweeted there are new Robin Hood and King Arthur movies coming out in 2018 because we haven't suffered enough.

This has been tweet relief. First tweet relief of 2018 edition. Let's look at the prize bag. I have a lot of stuff for you guys in a grocery bag. I got a hat from our friends at Peacemaker,

a Douglas Movies t-shirt, a Bible from a hotel room, some hotel room keys so you too can practice throwing hotel room keys into receptacles for no good reason. Lots of fun for me out on the road. Some OCB premium rolling papers. I have no idea what this is.

I had a room service, and this came with my meal. And it looks like just little orange brains in a lovely container. So good luck with that, whoever wins today. Maybe eat this first before you experiment with that. It's a medical cannabis dark chocolate candy bar. Yeah, with a serious warning on it to keep it away from kids. And there's another key. Oh, that's the key from I stayed at a hotel in Florida,

and they were advertising the Pandora ride at Disneyland that I did not go on. I saw The Matrix. I saw Avatar. Hunters, The Art of the Scare, a button for that movie and then if you guys are into weed, which I think

some of you might be, this is a good bag today because I think my guest brought some weed-related products as well because Spark, the local San Francisco dispensary, is giving out a lot of stuff in the lobby. But I've got a Pax. And, again, for our friends at Peacemaker, they just sent me a shit ton more of these. I think I have enough to give away one at every show for this entire year.

A Christmas bong. So somebody's gonna win all of this. I don't know if winning's the right word for it, but maybe life changing. Maybe you'll find weed and God at the same time. But let's get my guests out here and see what they brought. Please give a warm welcome to Esther Povitsky, Dan Harmon, Jeff Davis, and Mark Wahlberg! Let's go ahead and meet them individually.

Starting with directly to my left, it's little Esther Povitsky, everybody! Hi! Hi! At little Esther on Twitter, It's Little Esther Povitsky, everybody. Hi. At Little Esther on Twitter and the star of the new show on Freeform, Alone Together. That's right. Yeah. Do I have to sit next to Mark Wahlberg?

Is that intimidating to you? He's just, you know, the physicality is just something the alternative is Dan Harmon maybe I live in a bubble but it seems like a no brainer to me this looks like the dating game we have all three different types of white men. Let's hear your apology.

Well, I would like to apologize to Esther for having to sit next to Mark, but, you know, I think he'll be alright. Okay. Yeah, he's okay. He's very good about waiting until he gets his cue to speak. What I've always loved,

I've never had a strong opinion about Mark Wahlberg, but I've loved his patience. He is a really serene person when you get to know him. Esther, you did some shows here at Sketch Fest? Yeah, I have a show where we go through people's bags. We did that last night. And then today we did an episode of Weird Adults with Nick Weiger from Doughboys.

Yeah. It was at 1 o'clock and, you know. Good old 1 o'clock show. That's a hot start time. Yeah. People are fired up. People are like, I don't fucking care about the Patriots. And I went to that, like, fish...

I want to call it Fisherman's... No, Ferry Marketplace. The Ferry Building. Yeah, and I had a red bean bun. It was good. I like it here. Oh, okay. All right, let's throw it out there. San Francisco,

Bay Area. Esther would like to return sometime. Thank you. Yeah. Invite her back. Good food. But not in a creepy way. Make it super consensual. Let's just go ahead and just drive me crazy how quiet he is over there. Mark Wahlberg,

everybody! Let's just go ahead and just drive me crazy how quiet he is over there. Mark Wahlberg, everybody. How you guys doing? You doing good? What's up, San Francisco? Let's fucking do this shit! First of all, no, you do not have to sit next to Mark Wahlberg. You get to. Dan Harmon, you are correct. I am the adversary you cannot defeat. What's up, brother? I am fucking patience and I will win out

everything. Let's fucking go. I love it when you win out. He kind of undid my original opinion where he was a serene human being, but it turns out he's a bottle of TNT. I'm fucking forced, dude. I'll undid anything.

He just undoes verbs. Fucking A. You did your show, your own show, The Wahlberg Solution last night here at the Gateway. Changing lives, dude. Changing fucking lives for normos. I met a lot of you who I don't remember after the show. And I'll tell you this, if you weren't there,

I'll give you a hint. Two things you need in life. Learn to listen and learn to love cardio. That's it. That's really good advice. You're welcome. What's up, Doug. You're welcome. What's up, Doug? You're lucky I'm in town, bro.

Wait a second. It's like an icebreaker. It's a Wahlberg icebreaker. He's like a spinning coin. You either get the heads or the tails with Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, that's right, dude, and I always win. I was supposed to leave yesterday. I came in town for the fucking women's rally.

Then I did my own show and fixed people's lives. And then I was supposed to leave today, and I was like, you know what? I think I want to swim to Alcatraz. So you're going to do that after the show? No, I swam around it and came right fucking back. Oh! So you're gonna do that after the show?

No, I swam around it and came right fucking back. Oh! Can we ask you 530 questions about the Women's March? You can ask me anything you want to. Did you enjoy it? Fuck yeah, I did. I came here, I came to straighten shit out, I came to tell people,

hey, get paid as much as you want, but I guess make sure everybody else is getting paid too. So one thing I've learned, call up somebody else and be like, you asked for a shit ton of money, right? God forbid I don't fucking find out if anybody else is getting paid. God forbid I just fucking ask for myself. So that's cool.

I don't have to keep worrying about what Donnie makes. I get to worry what Michelle Williams makes now, too. I have a woman's mark question for you. Okay. Did you have a sign, and what did your sign say? Yeah, it did. It said, hey, dudes, stop fucking around, or I will punch you.

If you'd like to get punched, line up to the left. Remember, you will be being punched for being a fucking douchebag, but you'll also get to tell everyone I got punched by Mark Wahlberg. That's a big ass sign. It was. That's how I fucking do it, dude.

Well, to Mark's left, thanks for being here. Seriously. You're welcome. Yeah. I want to be clear that I'm very grateful that you show up. Everybody is. Dan Harmon is here, everybody. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're on some sort of apology tour? Famous for it, bro. I love it. That's great. I just apologize to everybody.

Get it out of the way. Start with an apology. That's a great way to build relationships. You've got Harmontown this very evening here at Sketchfest. Some people are fired up about it. Everyone else is pissed they couldn't get tickets.

Very popular event. Sold out weeks in advance. I don't think that's true. Can you just let me pump you up a little bit because currently you just look on this panel like out-of-work Santa.

Off-season Santas in the house. He looks like gained weight for a role, Russell Crowe. Which is just Russell Crowe these days, right? He just maintains that weight he needed to gain for the role. A beautiful stomach. Yeah, I love it. I would watch that movie.

And so that's exciting. Your show is later tonight. What can people expect? What's going on with you right now? No idea. I don't know. We will, for fans of my podcast, know that we have had no audience in Los Angeles for a while.

So this is the first time I've appeared in front of an audience since forever. And then tonight will be the first time Harmontown has had a live audience. So I don't know. I don't want to undercut the value of my show, but I don't know what we'll be doing. I think people are going to love that. History is any teacher. Yeah, we'll get away with it.

It's Sketch Fest, not Fleshed Out Shit Fest. Oh, sorry. No, no, go ahead. Oh, I was going to introduce you. So was I. Our next guest. Go ahead, Doug, take it. Tell us about yourself. It's Jeff Davis, everybody.

So it's Jeff Davis, everybody. What do you call your role on Harmontown? Most dapper? Most dapper. Well, that's not really a competition. I don't think it is. Yeah. I think you could show up with half of that stuff on and be more dressed up than Dan.

Yeah. But what do you call yourself on the show? My role is the comptroller. I know I'm saying it wrong. I'm not even sure what a comptroller is, but like... There's ways to say comptroller wrong? It's apparently controller. You say it like control.

You don't pronounce the M and the P? That's what I've been led to believe. Who believes that? I don't know. No one. We have one? No one here at the gateway theater thinks that the gateway theater that's how it's pronounced that's a cool fucking show

then dude Dan and I were drunk at a bar in LA at the. at the drawing room, and Emily Gordon said to Dan, you should have a podcast at Meltdown. And he said, why don't we call it Harmontown, and I'll be the mayor. And I said, okay, can I be the comptroller? And I just know that that's a thing. I just don't know. It's a position that's held in government, yes.

Yeah, I think it has something to do with finance, maybe. I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah, sure. So that's not what you do on the show, really. No, no, Dan stands there.'s not what you do on the show, really. No, no, Dan stands there. There's no money exchanged on the show. Our show is Dan standing in the middle of the stage in front of a standing microphone

looking at his shoelaces and ranting and then getting fired off of community. And then I sit off to the side and crack wise. Must be nice. and crack wise. Must be nice. Is anybody here going to the show tonight? Yeah, there's a couple people

who got tickets. One guy. Two guys? Yeah, it was hard to get tickets. That sold out before this did, I think. But we both sold out. That's the main thing.

That's what's really important. How many shows are you doing in town for the Sketch Fest, Doug? This is it for me. Thank you for asking, though. I'm going to enjoy the SAG Awards later this evening. And by enjoy it, I mean just sit there and talk about how stupid it is.

Do you want to be a guest on our show? It's my sports. Oh, really? I could do that? Yeah, fuck it. Do it. You're going to make at least us and two other people here very excited. There's only one currency in the podcasting industry, and it's not the dollar.

It's guest spots. No, please come. Would you want to watch your SAG Awards? I wanted to watch them, but, you know, that's going to be pretty fun doing your show tonight. You want to go back to your penthouse at the Drake Hotel, get into your king-size bed. Are you guys going to play Dungeons & Dragons tonight? I believe so. Because that's the part I always have to tap when I'm on the show because I don't do that.

I'm not good at that. Our dungeon master has been tweeting some very dark stuff lately. Oh, really? We're not sure. He may roll a critical fail of emotional health before the show even starts. Do you know where he is now? Is he out on the Golden Gate or something?

We don't know. He is currently a random encounter. And we wish the best for him. Don't you want darkness out of your dungeon master? Of course we do. He's not a church master. What time is your show over there? 4.20.

No. 7.30? Who's going? Yeah, that guy's going. 7.30. Thank you, sir. 7.30? Who's going? Yeah, that guy's going. 7.30, thank you, sir. You guys weren't fucking around about not knowing anything about your show. I love that Doug asked you

what you were going to be doing expecting an answer that had an answer. Do you want to be on the show tonight? Fucking A, dude. If you need me to make your show great, I'll do it. That's why I'm here right now. Would you say

have you ever had a name as big as Mark Wahlberg on the show? No, we never have. We've had some big names. Oh, come the fuck on, dude. Robin Williams? Norman Lear? Keep going.

Two-thirds of the living eagles? First of all, it's just eagles. First of all. The only person you could have on my show that would be big as big as i am is if you said to me mark we had your reflection on the show tonight we're gonna have one of the most exciting guests i've ever he he's a he's the guy that invented an app called the iTrump, and Trump tried to sue him.

His app is just a trumpet app. He's a trumpet enthusiast. And he made an app called the iTrump, which is just a trumpet app for a dollar. Donald Trump tried to sue him. He was like, fucking, I'm I, Trump. He went to court with Donald Trump for half a decade, represented himself, and won.

And he now... I fucking love this guy. Yeah, and so I'm very honored to have him on my show tonight because I want him to be a billionaire. I don't care if his fucking trumpet app even works. Let me pull it up real quick. Burp, burp, burp, burp. Yeah, wait, what does the app do?

It teaches you trumpet. There's also a function on it that's like a kind of trumpet version of karaoke where there's like, you know, like in Guitar Hero. I hope I don't get him sued again. It's a lot like Guitar Hero, but it's like with a trumpet. No, but it's like, you know, there's like bars that come down and so you have warning and you hit like, and so you kind of play green sleeves on a trumpet.

It's cool it's cooler than the president's is is uh is it cooler than the shaken belch app that's where you just take the app out and you shake the phone and it belches is that real it's real do you have it on your phone currently, Doug? The shit normal people think of. Oh, it's a dead app. It's no longer working. They couldn't figure out how to make it work with the notch. They weren't making any money. But I kept the icon.

I forgot that it's no longer an app. All right. That's like it got malted. You can be sad about it. It doesn't change the truth. There's no Leonard Maltin app anymore. That's true. I keep telling him to get a new one and he goes, What?

Wait, wait. You have a line to Leonard Maltin? And he's basically Gollum? Oh yeah, I do. Yeah, his voice that he uses on camera is really not the same. yeah I do yeah his you know his voice that he uses on camera

is really is not the same as what he really sounds like let's talk I know that when we do a show at a festival like this

the guests can be kind of surprised by the prize bag element of the show and not have anything but fortunately I think there's a lot of good stuff backstage

that you could bring us. Esther, what'd you come up with? I have this bag from backstage that is filled with drugs. Right. One specific drug, really. Yes.

I don't know what's in here. That's a bag of drugs yes i couldn't get it open but it's heavy and that's always good yeah there's some like pre-rolls in there and a little jar like a gram of something some nice and then to spice it up there's also oh water that's good i could have grabbed a soda or a beer, but I was like, no, my winner wants to be hydrated. And you know what she means by winner? Aquahydrate. You know who owns that?

Mark fucking Walvoord does. I'm not joking. Puff Daddy and I own a water company. It's called Aquahydrate. She knew what to fucking go with. This is it? That's fucking it, dude. Oh, I had no idea.

Change your life. Drink some water. What? Change your life. Stay alive. Drink some water. All of it. What do you have for us, Mark?

It's a calendar. And it says, you're welcome. Now, I was given this calendar by somebody last night after my own show. They, like every other American, are a fan of mine. I would love to say who they are, but as with most normos, I don't remember their names. It's not just any calendar.

Every single month has a picture of me on it. Contain yourselves. And you get to win it, and I'll sign it. I'll say whatever the fuck you want. Like, hey, it's March. Sorry about your resolutions. Show them one of the other months.

Okay. Yeah, just to show that there's a picture on every month. There's this one. There's that picture. Show them one of the other months. Okay. Yeah, just to show that there's a picture on every month. There's this one. There's that picture. Show them... Stump around a little bit. April, there you go. There's this one too.

Yeah. But then, we go to something like this. There's that one. And for the listener at home, you should have fucking flown to San Francisco. That's terrific. You're welcome. Thank you very much for that.

Say thanks to the normal. They look just like you. All right, Dan. I should have sat to the left of little Esther because basically I did the same thing she did, but less. I just took the bag of drugs out of the larger bag. I signed it.

Thank you for accepting my apology. I am currently famous for my apologies. This is a valuable bag of drugs. That's... Pass her drugs. That's awesome. Pass her down. That's great work. My turn? Yeah, let's do it, Jeff.

All right. I'm not famous for much of anything. So I was insecure about it. So I brought the sign bag of anything. So I was insecure about it. So I brought the sign bag of drugs. A Lagunitas Pilsner that's still cold. Some sort of flavored water drink

called Sparkling Ice. That's fucking gross. It's black raspberry flavor. I've also got a shitload of Jolly Ranchers and 17 cents I found on the dressing room table backstage. Oh, okay. That's how

unconfident I am about my abilities in this game. And the cool thing is if you win this prize bag, you can be convicted for trying to move large quantities of drugs. You are a drug runner. Congratulations. I don't think you were

paying attention when you made contraband. Do I pass mine down? The stuff that they have in these bags is now legal. It's a great fucking movie. And I don't think

we've hit the over an ounce level, so I think you can walk around with it. Or just give some to some friends. Yeah, pass it around outside. I'll see you out there. Thank you guys for bringing all that stuff,

and I have a couple questions I'd like to ask before we move on to the game portion of the show, and I'll start with you, Esther. Could you tell us the last movie that you saw? we move on to the game portion of the show. And I'll start with you, Esther. Could you tell us the last movie that you saw? In theaters or what? In any format, however you watch movies.

I re-watched Young Frankenstein on a Plane and it was awesome. It's so good. It's the best movie ever. I love it so much. It's kind of. It's the best movie ever. I love it so much. It's kind of near perfect, that movie. Yeah, I watched it a lot when I was a little kid, and I realized that when I was little,

I didn't know it was a comedy. And re-watching it as an adult, I'm just like, wow, that says a lot. It gets emotional there at the end, though. Like, I get, you know, the monster's speech at the end gets me every time. Really? Oh, yeah. I really get into it, yeah. Yeah, I'm more into Dr. Frankenstein's story than the monster.

Because he's just so ashamed, and then he becomes proud. It's just a beautiful journey. Put the candle back. I'm sad there's not more Madeline Kahn in that movie because she's so funny. When she's like, no, no, no, no, no. He zips and she goes,

woof. She's the monster dick. It's great. Yeah, at the beginning when he's saying goodbye to her at the train station, he can't touch or do anything to her because he saw everything so perfect from head to toe. Not the lips. Taffeta, darling. It is.

That is, like, that's real. It's so good. Like, it's just crazy to me because usually things are dated and they don't make me laugh, but that still makes me laugh and those people are so good. Like, it's just crazy to me because usually things are dated and they don't make me laugh, but that still makes me laugh and those people are so funny. So it was refreshing to watch. It's also, for comedies,

it's probably one of the most on-story comedies ever. They don't go way out of their way for any jokes. You know, like maybe Mel did a little later around baseball's time. Pardon me, boy, is this the Transylvania Station? There's a couple cornball jokes in there. Oh, yeah, that was corny as fuck. But they are at the Transylvania Station.

It is on story. Yeah, yeah, track 29. But to your point, they absolutely stay on the story. The story is not derailed by any of those bits. You can say, like, hey, wait, what? Derailed, they're groaning at. Oh, derailed, okay.

Why am I talking to you? Dan, Dan, Dan. Just say you're sorry. I'm sorry. What are the three steps of apology? I acknowledge that I started talking about Little Esther's favorite movie more than her. I feel remorse, and I am committed to change.

I will never do any of those things. What was the last movie you saw, Mark? I saw The Disaster Artist. Okay. What the fuck, dude? How did that... Could you imagine being that delusionally confident? That poor fucking dude.

Like, to be a normo that thinks they're a great person. Jesus Christ. And then that dude... I take it back. There was a couple times he worked out and that was fucking awesome. He was great at throwing a football. Oh, no, he was not.

Sorry, Invincible. There you go, dude. I fucking, I threw my own footballs in that movie. All right. Yeah, other than that, I loved it. It just, goddamn. Mark, do you watch, I loved it. It just... Goddamn. Mark, do you watch your own movies after you've shot them?

I don't even watch them while we're doing it. Does that make sense? Fair enough. Dan, what was the last movie you saw? Florida Project. That's a good fucking movie. It's the ghost pepper of my girlfriend. Ghost peppers are those peppers that are really fucking hot, right?

Yes. She'd seen it in the theater, and then she didn't tell me anything about it. She just kept saying, like, you got to watch it. You got to watch it. Let's watch that. I brought home a pile of screeners. Like, we have everything. And it's like, she's like, well, let's watch Florida Project again.

I was like, this is the one thing that you've already seen. She's like, yeah, I just want to watch it again. We watch the whole thing. It's great. And at the end, you know, I don't want to spoil anything, but it's just, it's a, in the end thing it's great and at the end you know i don't want to spoil anything but it's it's just it's a it's a in the end it's it's it like we could think but you're not no having seen it he's actually perfectly describing the end of that movie i'm not joking but but in the end uh my girlfriend starts just sobbing like like like wailing like my girlfriend starts just sobbing, like wailing.

My girlfriend has this cry that it almost sounds fake, I guess because I'm a sociopath. But it's like I was tearing up too, but then when my girlfriend starts crying, the sound makes my tears suck up into my tear ducts, and the tear duct seals shut, and I become a 911 operator. I'm just like, do you want to watch the movie again or should I burn the movie? She's like, no,

it's a great movie. It seems like it's hurting you, this movie. You've watched it twice now. But yeah, it's a great movie. Did you ask a question about it or am I just... Nope, all you had to say was the florida project everybody in that is all i wanted to know that director must be amazing i didn't say is he the

one that did lars and the the thing about i don't think so oh no is that that's it tangerine and starlet and a couple all these kids All these kids, I can't tell. They're millennials. They're all on my lawn. But that director clearly, like, I don't know. Did you see it? Did you like it? Yeah, of course. I loved it. It's an extremely unique experience.

It feels like a documentary at times. Yeah. Like, they get amazing performances out of a couple. The main characters are non-actors. And then, of course, Willem Dafoe is the greatest. It's always great to see him play, like Rob Schraub said, just very simply, it's like, yeah, Willem Dafoe playing a nice guy. Like, oh,

Dadoy. The scene where he's yelling at the creep that's hanging out in the parking lot looking at the kids and stuff is so good. Yeah, he's great. Alright, Jeff, you've had a lot of time to think about this. I didn't have to think about it at all. Because I know the last movie I watched. I was a little

under the weather, a little hungover from traveling parties and things and whatnot. I woke up on my couch and I didn't want to get off the couch. There was already stuff to drink there so I didn't have to get up. I turned on TCM because I like old movies.

I don't know a lot about new movies. And it was all children's stuff. It was like all the Lassie movies in a row. But I recorded to... I don't want to watch the Lassie movies. I recorded and watched the original 1960s Flipper. And if you haven't seen it, it's fucking fucked up. It's got Chuck Connors, who was the rifleman and the kid,

and nobody has a shirt on except for the women in this movie, and I guarantee you nine dolphins were murdered in this movie. The movie starts with a little asshole kid swimming through the Florida Keys and harpoons a dolphin, and so you see underwater footage of a dolphin with a harpoon in it, and I don't know how you fake that. It wasn't like there was duct tape around the thing.

You know, maybe that dolphin spent four hours in makeup. It was a different time. This dolphin swims around, and then the little kid says, I've got to save this dolphin. But then they cut to this dolphin, which I'm assuming is either like an analog, like prop dolphin, like I'm assuming is either like a analog, like prop dolphin laying on the rocks, because dolphins beach themselves

when they get wounded, this kid says. And... This has turned into a real pick-me-up. He sees this stricken dolphin with a stick in its side, and it's got netting around it. No, it doesn't have netting. It's got seaweed all over it.

It's a dolphin and he's going and making noises and flippers are moving, but you know that was just fishing wire making that fucking flipper move. Because this didn't look like a healthy dolphin. It looked like a corpse. And there's just so many scenes in this movie

where there's no way these dolphins were either alive or happy. And then it's a story about two guys with no shirts proving that it's okay to be a father and son while dolphins steal your fish. I say watch it. No, don't watch it. Don't watch Clever.

Yeah, I think you watched it for us. I don't know what else could possibly happen. It's a nightmare. Also, it's the slowest paced film of all time based on the fastest fish in the sea. Not the fastest.

I think sailfish are faster. But still, dolphins are fast. The fastest mammal in the sea. Wait, what kind of fish is faster, you nerd? The sailfish. I watch old movies. You're not correcting yourself.

No, actually, the sailfish. Dolphins aren't fish. So silly of me. Don't aqua shame me. All right, Flipper, fuck you. That's a great answer, dude. Now this is when the tougher question comes. I'm going to start with Mark

because he's been asked this question many times. Oh, shit, Doug. He's probably spent a lot of time thinking about it. Oh, fuck. How do you get your hair so soft and manageable? In my case, you be born. Same. Fucking A.

Sorry, Doug. Same Fucking A Sorry Doug That's okay Anybody has a question for anybody please Unless the question is What is the answer to this question Doug just asked Mark Yes What's the best movie I've never seen Is it okay if I've never seen?

Is it okay if... I've seen all of your films. Why didn't you just say, I'm an American? Okay. This one, I like. I like this movie because it's not that good, but it is a fun watch. It feels like a time capsule for what these types of movies were. And one of your favorite people to tell shut the fuck up to, Jeff Garlin. It's his first ever role.

The movie is called Spring Break. It came out in like 1984. What is Jeff playing that? He plays this, sorry Jeff, fat dude that wins... Wait, do you think he's finding out now that he's fat? In my history, when I tell something about someone or to someone,

they really fucking feel it. So whether he has or hasn't, just me saying it i don't want to fucking put that hurt on him he plays a dude who wins the belly flop contest that's it but it is you've never had to say fat then really well no that's what that's usually the winner of the they play it up in the movie too yeah i bet yeah what's his name like chubs or something it is it is like some is. It is like some sort of mean name or something like that.

But it's called Spring Break. It's fucking not great. I like James Franco in that. Is that what that was? Oh, I'm thinking of Spring Breakers. Yeah. Almost the same movie. Okay, Esther, do you have one for me? So I have to think of a movie I think you've never seen.

Yeah, so there's no way for you to know what I've seen, obviously. Okay. But there might be something that is special to you and you think it's maybe kind of obscure. Um, did you see Glitter? Has Doug Benson seen Glitter? Today? has Doug Benson seen glitter today yeah I don't care about those football games I was watching Mariah Carey

you're my favorite does she sing a lot in that how many songs are in glitter there's a few five I just think of that movie because everyone said it was bad, but you know what? It was a good story, and it was good.

That's exactly how I describe the happening. Yeah, I'm more into Crossroads. Oh, that was... That would be your next choice, I would bet. Also a great film. I saw where that was going. There's a lot of things happening in Crossroads. I was watching it going, wow, this is really... Yeah.

She goes through a lot. Yeah. Brittany. She sings. She lot. Yeah. Britney. She sings. She meets her mom. It's everything you need. Pregnant girl falls down the stairs. Oh, right.

Yeah. It's a real road trip comedy. Dan, what about you? Do you have a good recommendation for me? Have you ever seen a movie called flesh and blood with rutger howard and rutger howard uh rutger howard and uh i think jennifer jason lee uh it feels like i have but uh it's a very problematic medieval uh oh it's medieval yeah i think i might have seen that. Is that the, was that directed

by the guy who directed a bunch of stuff? I actually don't know. I don't know the director. The very same? I mean, was it early Verhoeven

is my point. I don't, I don't, I don't think it is. If you told me it was, I'd be like, I accept that. But I just think

of it as a movie that I find few people have seen, and yet it was on cable when I was 15, and I was playing a lot of Dungeons & Dragons, and there were people with swords in it, and it was really fun. It culturally is not... It's problematic. But, yeah, it's it's problematic but it

yeah it's it's I think it's cool because it's like it's it's during it's in the

in the midst of the bubonic plague and I'm sorry to pronounce plague plague I said gee are you from

Wisconsin at all I've got plague I'm sorry he also he also calls bagels bagels for real Are you from Wisconsin at all? I've got the name right. I'm sorry. He also calls bagels bagels, for real. There's a point where they are launching pieces of dead dog infected with the plague via catapult into a castle just to infect the people inside.

It's fucking amazing. I like it. It's crazy. That sounds pretty good. Yeah. All right. You haven't seen it. That's the important thing. It sounds familiar, but that one's an older one,

so maybe if I did see it, I was too young to remember. Flesh and blood. All right. Jeff? All right, this is a movie that I really love. It's very weird. You may have seen it. Do you like really weird, obscure, foreign crap? It's a Japanese movie that I really love It's very weird You may have seen it Do you like really weird Obscure like foreign crap?

It's a Japanese movie I'm out But I recommend it Because it's nuts I think I like it It's called The Happiness of the Katakuris Oh okay

So some people have seen it Some people in the audience Are into it It's directed by Takashi Miike Who did like a lot of Like samurai movies, action movies, lots of different genres, but he said he's fairly old when he made this.

It's like a horror movie, family movie, comedy, musical. And it's like one review said it's like Dawn of the Dead meets The Sound of Music. But it's really fucked up. I'm half in.

The Hills are alive with the sound of Muzak that we can't turn off. Dan, it's okay, dude. You fucking went for it. You gave it your best and that's all that fucking matters. And Dan, Dan, what do you have to say for yourself?

I'm sorry, Esther. Doug, actually, let me go back. Have you ever seen the original Flipper? Oh, my God, dude. Don't. Don't do it. I understand that through my silence, I allowed those six dolphins to die. I feel remorse.

We were harpooning them to save them. We were trying to save those dolphins when we harpooned them. Crazy ass movie. Alright. Great job, you guys. I'm gonna have a lot of stuff to check out now. Thanks to you. Let me just write those down really quick.

Okay. Have you watched any movies that somebody told you to watch and you hadn't seen? Mm-mm. Okay. It's just a waste of everybody's time. What the fuck are we doing this for? The show should be called Doug Loves Movies

that Doug Loves. I watch shit that I like. Why am I going to watch your crazy things you're obsessed with? Doug, be honest with us. I watch shit that I like. Why am I going to watch your crazy things you're obsessed with? Doug, be honest with us. How much of that segment is you wanting to find that you've seen every movie? Well, no, I like people to come up with stuff I haven't seen. It's a little more fun than me just going, saw it.

But, you know, whenever somebody really convinces me that something sounds cool, Twitter immediately corrects, or even audience members when I see them outside after the show, someone immediately tells me, oh, no, that movie stinks. No, dude. And so, you know what I mean? I got to get a consensus. What's the best movie I've never seen? So you haven't seen Equilibrium yet?

No. And I told you over a year ago to go watch it. Entertainment Weekly just called it, like, the worst Christian Bale movie ever. Okay, then that makes it a Christian Bale movie. I don't... I'll tell you right now, Doug, you walk outside this theater, none of these people are going to tell you

that you shouldn't see the original Flipper. That movie holds up. It's a toboggan ride of fun, excitement. I'm still lost on how you opened up with talking about Lassie and then got to got to Flipper

I'm still all the way back there I woke up I'm not gonna watch Lassie come home and Lassie returns and Lassie so I'm gonna watch Flipper

yeah well I said oh fuck it I'm gonna fucking hit the red button record on Flipper I'm gonna get up make a sandwich get back in my little

cozy couch area Jeff what are you Nick at night in the 80s then I'm going to get up, make a sandwich, get back in my little cozy couch area. Jeff, what are you, Nick at Night in the 80s? Then I'm going to follow up a little Dobie Gillis and close it out. It's a great movie, by the way. There's a clip from it in something that's out now, Shave of Water. Boom.

Oh, really? Yep. They cut the Flipper? No, Dobie Gillis Boom. Oh, really? Yep. They cut the flipper? No, Adobe Gillis. Adobe Gillis. That's the name of a Mexican food chain. I stopped watching Shape of Water halfway through because I was like, this is brilliant.

My heart's dead. Yeah, it's... It's sad because it's true. It's very emotional and also disturbing. It's for 25-year-olds. I'm dead. I get it. She loves the fish guy.

I'm dead. Wait, wait, wait. I got to the halfway point. I'm like, it's going to end in a car chase with a fish guy. I don't care. All right, we're starting the clip. Okay, all right. I'm like, it's going to end in a car chase with a fish guy. I don't care. All right, well, we're starting the clip. Okay, all right. I'm sorry.

This is where Jeff jumps in with a scathing review of The Incredible Mr. Limpet. That movie fucking, I thought it was great. It's terrible. I recently watched that again. It's not that good. It doesn't hold up? Mr. Limpet does not hold up.

That's a good question for, you know, not for now, but on a future episode. What holds up? Terminator 2. Robocop. I said a future episode. Fair enough. I'll answer on that one, then. My drink's empty, but it's not that kind of podcast, right?

Do you want another one? Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to go backstage and get one? Oh So we're back on the playground You want some ice cream?

I don't know if there's anybody that would be technically like a server here You can take the beer out of my bag And I can go get another beer for the person in the back I didn't mean to derail the show Said the professional show derailer. I'm sorry. If none of you want to burn any calories, I'll go fucking get the beer.

Does anyone else want anything? I'm good, I'm good. But yeah, go for it. Just don't take too long. There's a fucking show going on. He just leaves the stage. Well, I was telling him he could. I gave him permission.

But you didn't think he would take you up on that. No, I did. I mean, because that's the kind of show I run. One where there's still plenty of guests if one leaves. Because I have some... I got a hundred bucks as he doesn't even fucking come back. Then he'll stand outside and apologize to everybody

when the show's over. Oh, here we go. Oh, good thinking. He brought two. Three. Nice. Yeah, I'm going to drink a beer. That's what I want.

You should hang on to him when you don't have to leave again. I was talking shit. 20 minutes of my absence was me going, oh, if I take the cans then I won't have to grab the bottle opener.

It'll be faster. So it took longer. And then at some part you were like, I bet Mark Wahlberg wants carbs. All right, Dan. Well, you're going to have to get up again here because this is the part of the show where everybody has to go pick a name tag of someone they want to play for today in the games portion.

Because I... Turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! So go grab whatever one you like the best. Dan, you've been on the show before. Have I? Yeah. And you just go out and choose who you'd like to play for.

If there's a movie that you're a fan of or a particular play on words that you like, somebody might have your face on their poster. That guy's got a bunch of donuts. Thank you. But while they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Hey, you guys.

There's no ads in this show. I just want to take a second to thank Audible for presenting SF Sketch Fest. Always a good time. And I wanted to remind my friends in Denver that I'm doing two shows, February 17th and 18th at the Comedy Works downtown Saturday at 4 20 I'm going to do a stand-up show with a very special guest and at the end of that show we're going to play Last Man Stanton with people in the audience who brought name tags and would like to participate and the winner of that will return the next day Sunday February, February 18th, to be a full-blown, pardon

the expression, guest on Doug Loves Movies at Comedy Works Downtown at 420 with two other awesome guests. So I'll see you soon, Denver. Back to the show. Alright, we're back. Oh, that is terrific. Yes, yes. That is a good one.

Yes. Do we just hold on to them, or what do we do? Yeah, you just hold on to it. You can put it down after we talk about it. Jeff, can you have that? Fucking alcoholic. All right, so Dan... All right, so Dan... Dan's getting some action from my favorite golden girl.

That's Estelle Getty on a stop or my mom Phil shoot. And it's a lobby standee that's taller than Dan is, but it's also collapsible. So good job, Phil. That's perfect. Take your seat, Dan. Good job. Who you got there, Esther?

I just went for the one that had candy attached to it. Always a smart move. The bills have eyes, and it has little googly eyes. Googly eyes on the Scary Hills Have Eyes guy. And this is your... Michael Berryman. Your? I don't know what this...

Is it mine or yours? It's your. It's your? It's a 35th anniversary... Oh, I can't believe anyone's keeping track of the anniversary of your... The Hunter from the Future. And then, actually, these are just fruit snacks, which is not candy, but...

Well, it's not fruit either. It is a snack. But, yeah, enjoy those at your leisure. And, Mark, what do you got? I got a sign that says, Blair will be blood. And it's a bowling pin surrounded by blood.

It's very creative. I believe it's a gentleman. Am I correct? Well, I took it from you. So I get it. Blair. It's okay. Blair.

Yeah. Blair. Blair is a man's name. Not a great man's name, but it is. Blair Underwood Yeah And they individually cut out every piece of this Did it old school style and I appreciated that

So Bear Will Be Blood Hey also next time Maybe Blair America Nice Con Blair Blair Bud America. Nice. I don't know. Con Blair. Blair Bud. Blair Plain, exclamation point.

All right, we already got Dan. How about Con Blair? We didn't give credit to the... What's your name, sir? Phil. Stop her by my Phil shoot. We didn't give credit to the, what's your name, sir? It's on the thing. Phil. Phil. Stop her by mom, Phil, shoot. I went out there, and I don't understand what's happening. And my eyes went to the largest thing.

And the person holding the largest thing said, you got to take it. And I reflexively went, okay. Okay. Wow. you gotta take it. And I reflexively went, okay. Yeah, there's a lot of people play a lot of mind games with my guests. Jeff, what does that thing say on it? It's a beautifully crafted poster for Meet the Robinsons

from Nick and Sarah. That was both Nick and Sarah who did that. Don't say what it says on the back. I don't say that. Yeah, we save that for the end. What about this? There's battery packs

and there's snacks on it? You can have the snacks. Oh, the snacks are for me? If you want them, yeah. You can have those. That's payola. Yeah. They call that. Yeah. I can have those. That's payola. Yeah. They call that.

Yeah. I might have those snacks. All right. All right, so now I just keep this near me. Put it on the ground. Okay. Do I do something with that? Do I keep that there?

Yeah, it's perfect right there. Okay. You guys are doing great. Are you being sarcastic? No. When do you open your eyes? Open your eyes! I'm not.

I can't tell what you're feeling. Are you being sleepy? You might hate me. Still a possibility, yes. But the first game we're going to play, and I'll talk you through all these games because I don't think you guys have played a couple of these. The first one is called Characters Welcome.

And that is a game where I'm going to name characters that are listed in the end credits of a motion picture in no particular order, just randomly name them. But the idea is to put together in your head what movie would have all these characters in it, and then the first person to give me the correct title out loud, guess as often as you like, that person wins the game. Okay.

Make sense? No. Any pre-guesses? Star Wars. A League of Their Own. I'm also going to go with A League of Their Own. Smart move. I think Walbrook's got this one.

Esther? Glitter That would be crazy Shawshank Redemption You would be winning The whole day If that's what happened Shawshank Redemption No

The Great Escape Okay one pre-guess Mark Okay What is that Why are we guessing He hasn't said any characters He said yes before. I know, but why?

Taurus Boba. I don't even know what you said, and it's wrong. It's with Neil Britter. It's a terrible movie where he's a warlord. Okay. All right, here we go. It's no flipper. What movies have...

What movie has these characters in it? Mean Dude? Somebody in the credits played somebody that was called Mean Dude. Roadhouse. No. Your friends and neighbors. I like it, though. Then there's also a character called Meaner Dude.

In the Company of Men. The Rock. Bachelor Party. Edge of Tomorrow. You mean Live Die Repeat? I don't accept that title And then they've also got The Meanest Dude Meanest Dude is in there

Paddington Minions Wild Wild Wild West There's no meters in that There's no meters in that Manistest Society Glen Gary Glen Ross Anything by Mamet or Le Butte Wild, wild, wild west. There's no meters in that. There's no meters in that. Menace to society. Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross.

Anything by Mamet or LaBute. Hard target. There's a guy in this movie called Gigantic Dude. Road Warrior. He hangs out with Mean Dude, Meaner Dude, and Meanest Dude. Where the wild things are. There's also someone named Beth. Fast Times at Richmond High. Shelly.

Oh, shit. Charming guy with guitar is a character in this movie. Animal House. Animal House. National Lampoon's Animal House. That is correct, Mark Wahlberg. I had it with guitar guy, but he got me. I also had Sissy, Trooper, Dave Jennings.

That was Donald Sutherland's professor character. Mothball, Chip Diller was Kevin Bacon in his first movie. Stork, great, great character. Niedermeyer, Dorfman, Kroger, Blutarski, National Lampoon's Animal House. Never seen it. Which is, there's a reunion of it happening at the Castro Theater across town as we speak. Let's get over there. I know.

I was like, that was the thing I wanted to see most after Harmontown. And the Sag Awards. You've got a busy night tonight, Doug. Oh, well, all these guys are in town. I mean, who doesn't want to meet Niedermeyer? Just be man, you're a dick. Who said they never saw it? I did.

That was a joke? Half joke. Because you've kind of seen it, but haven't really committed to it? That's me, yeah. Yeah? Kind of seen it. Yeah. What are you going to do?

I love it. I like that song. I can't get enough of it. Oh, yeah, it's got a great song in it. Yeah. Like, the play got pressed, and then also we were, like, trading swatches or something. It was a sleepover. I don't know.

Are you okay, Dan? That's not up to me. Doug, if I could just, for one second. No. Dan, look at me. Oh, shit. Dan, look at me. It's hard to do that. Soul to soul, look

at me. You can withstand it, I promise. You're gonna be okay, man. You just fucking keep going, dude. And you get back on that treadmill because you deserve it. Keep fucking going. Treadmills are designed so that you have to keep going. There's literally science films where cats are placed on them

and have to walk until they're dead. Mark, when you signed on for all the money in the world, was it because you thought that was what you were going to get paid? I did. You saw it, right? I did.

Fucking A, dude. Me in glasses crushing it. It's definitely one of the best movies I've never seen. Wait, what? You said you just saw it, dude. Oh, yeah. I forgot about it already.

Don't you dare. You're lucky. That means you get to see it again like you never saw it before. Mark, what's the longest duration of time you've maintained eye contact with something or somebody? Every mirror. I don't think that's a length of time. But that is a nice segue into this next game. Because we're going to play a round of, it's a new game that's sweeping the nation

and it's quite a sensation. How long is it? Oh, shit. Here's how this works. Mark gets to go first, then we'll go to Esther, then to Jeff, and then Dan. And you are going to be told something

from a movie. I'm going to say a thing from a movie. And then I'm going to ask you how long it is. And everybody gets to guess closest person without going over wins. Wait, so you're asking different people the question.

Same question for everybody. You all get to answer. Mark gets to go first because he won that last game. It's just like Price is Right with bidding about how long it is. I got you. How long the movie is? We'll learn from them.

That's why he made us laugh. We're bidding on the length of whatever you're going to offer us right now. Yes, I'm going to tell you something and then you tell me how long it is. Okay, price is right. Bidder's row. Just as an example,

the first time we played this game, it was how long does Tom Hanks pee in a league of their own? Oh, okay, gotcha. 47 seconds. I forget what the actual answer was. But that was, it was much shorter. But today we're gonna put

23 is what we went with? Okay. Today the question is how long is it that Tom Hanks is on that island in Castaway? Mark, how long do you think he was stranded on the island with the... Four years. The ball and the ice skates? Was it two skates or one skate? I guess it was both skates.

We're going story time, not running time, right? I mean, I'm not a big fan of the movie. It felt like four years to me. Okay. What do you think there, Esther? I'll say... two years. Okay. Okay.

Jeff? 4.1 years. Yes. But.1 isn't one month necessarily, because you don't say 4.12. Four years and a day. Four years and one dollar. Does it work like Price is Right?

I guess you could say four years and a second to really fuck with him. Give him no wiggle room whatsoever because it could be four years and half a day the way you're playing it. No, I'm going to go four years and one full day the way you're playing it. No, I'm going to go four years and one full day. Okay.

And Price is right if you go over. Yeah, you're out. It's closest without going over. And then the person that goes way over, do they win? No. They can. If everyone else is under, and I say 700 years, I don't win. No, because you can't go over. No, because everyone else is under, and I say 700 years, I don't win. No, because you can't go over.

No, because everyone else is under. Dan, strategically, you could say four years and two days, and I'd be fucked. You could screw me with that one. Seven years. I have a beard. Did you think the question was how long does he have an itch? No, I know beards.

All right. And suicidal thoughts. And I know how long they take. Jeff, just remember, if you win this, all you did was prove that you knew I was right. I was originally going to say four and a half years

I swear to God I was just playing it safe so Mark says four years and then Esther says two and Jeff says four point four years in a day star date 4. Four years and a day. Star date 4.1.

Yeah. And then Dan goes with seven years. And this is crazy. Because the correct answer is four years. Oh! Sorry, Phil. I mean, they round down on those movies. They round it down. According to the internet, it's four years to the day

in the story of the film. Took him a day to get through that reef and get out in the fucking ocean. Yeah. in the story of the film. Took him a day to get through that reef and get out in the fucking ocean. Yeah. The reef is still part of the island

because that's still part of the island structure. The coral and the atolls and the thing. Jeff, you're a good dude, but just accept it, bro. All right. And it's, you know, nobody's lost, really, because even though Mark is killing it, the only thing he won is the opportunity to go first in our final game of this afternoon.

And it's a favorite of everybody's because I say so. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Stanton. So here's how this game works. I'm going to get the name of an actor or actress from an audience member who's been preselected, and then we're going to take turns naming movies that that person has been in.

I'm fucked. I got to go back and listen to the tape. I think you say that every time you're on this show. I swear to God, I've never been on this show. Oh, you don't think so? I was on your Getting High show. Jeff was on this show. Once.

I've never been on this show. I would remember the cardboard. Just so you know, that's not here every time. Okay, well, then maybe I've been on this show. That was good. Stopper, my mom, Phil Shoot, hasn't been at every show. That's for sure. That is unusual.

Yeah, I mean, you were on it in Los Angeles where the name tags were like people just hold up a piece of paper and they scribble something on. People get way more creative out here in the world. Oh, okay. Yeah. At the UC, okay. Yeah. At the UCB Theater. Yeah.

You were great. Yeah, alcoholism. Yeah, I thought you were a really good guest, so thanks for coming back. I had a great time. Now, after we get this one name, you're going to take turns. I'll play along.

We'll take turns naming movies the person was in. But if you can't think of one, one time you have a lifeline where you can go, Dan can go to Phil, and Jeff can go to the Robinsons, and Mark can go to Blair Robinsons and Mark can go to Blair and Esther can ask Bill one time

at any point during the game. I need you Nick and Sarah. She seems confident. Nick was strangely silent on that one. Where is an audience member who tweeted me today that goes by Jen LaRiv on Twitter

J-E-N L-A-R-I-V Where you at? For reals? Come on. I've been expecting that to happen because somebody could just be anywhere and know that I'm about to do a show

and then just tweet at me, hey, I got an idea. I got a good suggestion for you. But somebody else wrote to me and I thought I had my person so I said no and they were very polite about it and so we're gonna go to that person and his name is nub guy hey nub guy how you doing it's like a Christmas miracle that I told you you weren't gonna get participate, and then here you are participating. What do you do, man?

Yeah. Are you inquisitive? In this economy, that defensiveness is expected. What do I do? What do you do? What do I do? What are any of us doing?

But seriously, what does the guy next to you do? What are any of us doing? But seriously, what does the guy next to you do? Did you guys talk before the show? Are you friends? You don't know anything about each other? Guess what this guy does for a living. He's a what? Construction worker. What do you do, dude?

He works in film, you fuck. What were you checking for? Are you the friendship police? I don't even understand. They're not even friends. They just met, or they're meeting right now. He was testing how inquisitive this guy, how his inquisitory skills are.

Yeah, and then I made him guess what he does for a living. But they're terrible because this guy already admitted the guy that you thought was a construction worker is here at one podcast is going to our podcast later. You know, like construction workers do.

Fill their weekends with podcasts. Try not to worry about it Dan You're not going to remember any of this anyway Wait what's your name again on Twitter Nub something Nub guy Why They called you nub guy in high school

Based on what Because what part of you is a nub What No particular reason Nub particular reason High school? Based on what? Because what part of you is a nub? What? No particular reason. Nub, particular reason. Noob? Can I say something to you?

It's rhetorical, dude. You want to get closer to him? Don't take it in. Don't take it in. Close your eyes. Keep your eyes closed. Close your eyes, Marion. Close your eyes. Don't worry about them Close your eyes, Marion. Close your eyes.

Don't worry about them. We'll wait. Don't look at the ark. What's your first name, dude? Michael. I'm going to tell you something, okay? You have a sweet soul. Don't ever let that go.

You're a good person, I think. And until I hear otherwise, you just keep being you. Okay? Michael, I want to say something to you. I want to give you one piece of advice that I think that everybody here could take, but maybe you more than anybody here. Don't fill up on bread.

That's fucking better than what I said. See? Yeah, forget being a good person. Just don't eat bread. Yeah. Remember that nub guy. You fucking nub guy. Fucking nub guy. Sitting over here all nub guy Fucking nub guy Sitting over here all nub guy

Don't give it Is it the advice round? That's a good idea What advice do you have Dan? Don't attach emotionally to the Star Wars franchise It's winding up Let it run its course. Esther, I want to...

I would just say... There's nothing wrong with filling up on bread if that's what you have a taste for. I'll say, that's true too, but be willing to work it off. Or don't, as long as you're happy, but you're in control of you. Okay? That's true. You can do it.

Okay, it took four people to get to do whatever you want. So... Do what you want. So, Nubguy, could you go ahead and suggest an actor or actress for us to use in this game? My actor is Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan. So, do you need to get out of here early or something? I've never heard of this person. Me either. Yes, you have. He's an amazing actor, but these are some deep cuts. I've never... Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Yeah, he plays Negan on The Walking Dead, which is TV, so I'm not giving anything away. That doesn't help me. I've never seen the goddamn show. Right, well, I mean, and that's his more recent role. I mean, he was already Jeffrey Dean Morgan when he started playing Negan,

and we were all like, yeah, we know that guy. I was so sure another guy was gonna go, Barbara Stanwyck, and I'm like, fucking got this, got it. I'm good for one, Doug. How many, but just a little side bet. Jeff. How many Barbara Stanwyck movies

do you think you could name in 30 seconds? Baby Phase. No, how many? No. Shit, I don't know. I'm bad under pressure. Five. Five and thirty seconds Okay let me get the clock started You walked yourself into this room

Now fight your way out They're praying for a pyrotechnic malfunction Alright keep in mind Jeff That no one in this room is going to know Whether what you're saying is correct or not. Okay. I got this.

Okay. Go. The Lady Eve, double indemnity, baby face, flipper. No, made that one up.

Speed zoom. No, it's fucking, oh, I already said Lady Eve. I'm panicking. I had five and now I can't think of them. Cannonball Run 2.

Wait, how many did you say? No, she's not in there. No, I'm joking. Fuck, no, I give up. I can't do it. You got four of them, and you're giving up? I only got three. I made...

Oh, and Sanctum Sanctorum. Time's up. I made that one up. I made it up. That was the most disappointing thing of my life. You couldn't even make up something

that sounded legit. It could be worse. You could be Barbara Stanwyck right now. She's hanging in the rafters after that. Not funny? Okay, too soon?

You just killed a dead person. All right, so Nubguy, thank you for being here. Thank you for your terrific suggestion. I acknowledge that I offended Barbara Stanwyck. I feel remorse. I commit to change. What's the film guy's name? What's your name, dude? Bill. Oh, you have the name tag up here? Oh, that would be cheating.

What's this guy next to nub guy? What's your name? Kevin? I like this motherfucker already, dude. Are you familiar with what we're looking for here? The name of an actor or actress has been in a lot of movies, like more movies than Barbara Stanwyck or Stanwyck.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Holy shit. How long were you in the military? Okay, fair enough. I know you. You've been to the show before. This dude's a card.

I know your dazzling array of wacky voices. What would you like to suggest instead of what we've heard previously? Harvey Keitel. Harvey Keitel. All right. Still not winning over Esther with these ideas.

But she does have a lifeline. So you can go to that, Esther, if you need to immediately you couldn't have said like Britney Spears she's been in one movie She was... No. No. Wasn't she in the NSYNC movie On the Line?

Oh, maybe. No one's gonna argue with you. This feels like a deflection. All right, so Nubguy says Jeffrey Dean Morgan. What's the name of the dude next to nub guy? Kevin, that's right. And he says Harvey Keitel.

You a big fan of Harvey Keitel? Yeah. Okay. This dude, I swear to God, dude. I like this guy. I just point out that when you said how many years in the military, he held up his fingers to indicate two and mouthed two but made no sound, proving that he's some kind of weird seal.

It's like they train them to don't ever say the word two. He did it like he was about to kill us. All right. Okay. So I want Esther to have a fighting chance here today. And so, Esther, name any actor or actress that you would like us to... We're going to play with three names. Okay. Jennifer Lawrence.

Who's somebody that you know a lot of their stuff? Jennifer Lawrence. J-Law? Yeah. Okay. Okay. And Mark's going to start us off. Then we'll go Dan, Jeff, me, Esther.

Good luck, everybody. Who do we got? We got Negan from Walking Dead. You don't watch it. We've got Harvey Keitel. You know him, right? Yes, I do. And Jennifer Lawrence.

So we're doing all of them or just one of them? All three. You could do a movie. Believe me, this still isn't going to last very long. But you can name a movie that any of those three have been in when it's your turn. Mark? Reservoir Dogs. Yes. It deserves it.

J-Lo is great in that. Dan? Bad lieutenant. Uh-huh. That's right. Jeff? Pulp fiction. Yeah. Here's the wolf.

Is that what he called himself? The wolf? I want to try to take one of your J-laws off the table. No. Okay, Watchmen. That's Jeffrey D. Morgan. Go ahead. Mother.

Mother! Jeffrey D. Morgan, Harvey K. Tell. I will go with X-Men First Class. Mean Streets. Yes. If I guess and I'm wrong, am I out? Yeah, so go to your lifeline if you're...

All right, Nick, Sarah, lifeline. Sister Act. Wow. Way to go, Nick, Is that Kai Chao? Sister ass. Kai Chao's finest turn. But seriously, is it? I don't even know.

That's pretty amazing. Okay, I'm going to go with that Jennifer Lawrence movie, Passengers. American Hustle. I will go with... Keitel's in True Romance, right? What?

Is he? Fuck it. I can't remember for sure. Do you want to go to your lifeline? Uh, nah. The Mark Wahlberg I've come to know would never use a lifeline. Oh, I use them all the time.

It feels good for the normal people to feel a part of it. I will go with The Hunger Games. Okay. Smoke. I'm out of lifelines, right? Yep. Yeah, you did it, buddy.

Okay, I'm just going to guess on a Kytel. Was he in The Last Detail? With Jack Nicholson and Randy Quaid. Sounds like neither of those are him. with Jack Nicholson and Randy Quaid. It sounds like neither of those are him. I'm not saying he was on the poster. I'm saying was he in the fucker? Anybody?

Yeah, I like to play trivia games where all the contestants' knowledge comes from within, and when you're asking us well I'm out I'm sorry Nick and Sarah I've failed you that's alright you still you know what you brought to this panel today

a suit you're definitely the suit guy but you also brought joy oh thank you Doug that's so sweet of you your turn Esther Joy. Oh, thank you, Doug. So sweet of you. Your turn, Esther.

A Silver Linings playbook. Oh, very nice. Winter's Bone. Damn it. Coming after you. Silver Linings playbook. Can't do that, dude. No, okay. Silver Linings Playbook. Can't do that, dude. No, okay.

Silver Linings Playbook 2. We all wish. Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil. Taxi driver. Taxi driver. Oh, shit. Taxi driver. Never stop and my mom will always shoot. The thing is...

Never stop and my mom will always shoot. Taxi driver. We don't remember it. Yeah, taxi driver. It seems like a good one to throw in there. How about the piano? I don't... I need my lifeline. Okay, here we go.

What? Kytel's in Little Nicky. You don't have to sound like a horror character because it's on your name tag. He sounds like a construction worker. He sounds like a construction worker. Little Nicky. Hey, baby!

God, tell this little Nicky. This is getting intense. Mark? The Hunger Games, Catching Fire. Oh, shit. All right. The Hunger Games, the Mockingbird song. No, dude. Mocking J.

No. The Hunger Games, Mocking J. Even if you say a right one, I'm going to say no because you believe me. I'm not listening to you. I'm listening to the people. Okay. The Hunger Games colon Mockingjay. Which part? Which part?

The part of the Hunger Gamer. I don't have to know. The Katniss Everdeen. But if you had to pick a number. Three. Three. Wait, what?

Wait, what? Wait. Hey, remember when that dude held up how long he was in the military? Wait, wait, the Hunger Games... Say the number two. Hunger Games 2, Katniss Everdeen.

Colon, The Mockingjay Chronicles. You can't tell me I didn't get it right. I have carpet bombed this franchise. Hunger Games, colon, T-O-O. Hunger Games, colon, T-O-O. Mocking all the J's. I didn't get it. No, but you're so around it.

I'm so in the neighborhood of it. Hunger Games, colon, the Mocking... Just so you know, Jeff and Dan are currently playing together. You had it. I just wanted a number attached. Hunger Games, the Hunger Games, colon, Mockingjay, two. Which part is it, though? Three? All right, one more try.

I'm a guest. Remember, I'm a guest. Are you sure this isn't the show where we get high? You guys remember that scene from Scanners? Hunger Games, colon, Mockingjay, part two. Yay! And that's what I meant Starring Harvey Kutcher And that's what I meant

By just keep going It's my turn Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 How? Wait That doesn't make any sense. I think...

There were four parts total, four movies, and the last one was in two parts. Then why, when I didn't say a part, wasn't I already right? Because both of the Mockingjay movies have a part. So I could have said one or two, but I said three.

That's exactly what happened. Here's a man that understands what an audience is responding to. I'm catching up. Why wouldn't you just start with one? No one said that. Because I thought it was the third. Look, you know, it's called the running man. It's derivative anyway.

Yeah, finally somebody's taking that shit down. Esther? I think I'm out. No! Are there other J-Law movies? No, they're not. Hey. Oh.

All right, Esther's out. Mark? X-Men Apocalypse. Who's in that? J-Lo. Oh, yeah, okay. You fucking curveball me there for a second, too. All right, Dan, you got anything else?

I'm out of the limb here, but... Okay. Hunger Games... colon... catching fire. I said that already. Who... Hold...

Let me finish! Sorry, go ahead. I was more talking to the person behind... The featurette. Behind the scenes. On the set. of Hunger Games. Now, all right. Hunger Game.

All right. Jennifer Lawrence. I mean, who left this lady into show business? Dude, don't. That's not where we want to go with that. Hot... Bad Lieutenant 2 catching fire. I'm out.

I'm out. Here you go, Dan's out. Here you go, nub guy. Construction worker. He caught it. Like, you verified you were a construction worker the way you caught that donut.

Oh! Man. Situational awareness, man. Situational awareness. I'm not even going to tell the listener what they missed. Keep your head in a swivel. For audio listeners, he threw two donuts. Two donuts.

Blair, what do you got? X-Men Days of Future Past. Boom. X-Men Days of Future Past. That means Mark Wahlberg is our winner. We're pressed for time. We've got to wrap it up. But real quickly, let's go through and do some plugs.

Esther Pavitsky. My new show Alone Together is on Freeform every Wednesday and it's on Hulu the next day and check it out. Yay! Watch that show. Mark. Well, right now you can still go see

In Theater's Daddy's Home 2 as well as All the Money in the World. I've got Bionic Man coming out later on this year. And season six of The Wahlburgers is going to drop in April. We kick Donnie out. You gotta fucking watch it. Very nice.

Dan Harmon, what do you got going on? My show's sold out, so I'm going to use this time to say I heard a rumor that you beat a man with a stick until his eye fell out. And you said the word rumor. I wasn't looking. I was like, I did? Time well used there, Dan Harmon. Thank you for being here. I'm a sore loser.

Jeff Davis, what do you got coming up? Are you doing a Who's Line over in London or something? That'll be next Christmas. We're doing the Royal Albert Hall. Holy shit. In December 2018 with some of the English cast and some of the American cast of Who's Line Is It Anyway. That's awesome.

Clive Anderson and Josie Lawrence will be there, plus the people that you know from the American show. We're still on CW, I think, for a while with Whose Line, and I travel with Who's Live Anyway with Ryan Stiles, Greg Proops, and Joel Murray. Dan and I are on HarmanQuest, on Verve, and we have our Harmontown

podcast, which is a thing. Very good. So, Mark's Blair, come on down and get all these prizes. While you're walking down here, I'll say Doug Loves Movies is in Indianapolis on April 28th at 420.

And, uh... Oh, my god so she gets all those stuff she gets all those drugs okay be very grab it from the bottom the paper what's gonna break congratulations you are your own dispensary. Oh, and Blair, do you want this back? There you go. I don't have enough leash to get it to you. Let me have... Oh, is there a shithead on the back of this thing?

It's on the name. Just call Phil a shithead. All right. And you got one on the back of yours, too. All right. And you got one on the back of yours, too. All right. As always, and the sound cue for the end theme is when I've said all three of these shitheads. Obviously, you guys know how much, like,

a cult this looks to anyone who... Wait a second. Have you been to your show? They're into it. they're super into it oh the bills doesn't have a thing on the back no you're just arms crossed don't think anyone's a shithead you're just content all right I'll say one for you. One of the obvious ones. What? There's an obvious one?

Well, let's go ahead. Tell me. Trump. OK. Wait, wait, wait. Which Trump? Fuck yeah, dude. All of them.

Thank you once again to all of my guests, Esther Pawhiskey, Mark Wahlberg, Dan Harmon, and Jeff Davis. Thank you, guys. And, uh, as always, Dan's got a lot of cleanup to do. As always... Dan's got a lot of clean-up to do. As always, Trump is a shithead. NFL referees are shitheads.

And this is probably the most true of all of them. Buttholes are shits.