Doug Loves Movies - Dan Van Kirk, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chad Daniels guest

Episode Date: May 6, 2019

Live from Zanies Comedy Club in Rosemont, Doug welcomes Dan Van Kirk, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chad Daniels to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again, it's a tradition.

On Cinco de Mayo. Yeah. In a business park. That's O'Hara Jason because we're at Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois. Oh boy. I'm so excited for this always have a good time out here at Zany's and Rosemont

it's Sunday like I said May 5th 2019 and not only is it 420 ish you know I was is it 420-ish. You know, I was busy at 420.

It's also name tag time. Let me see them. Let me see them. Oh, goodness. Anthony Mann. I like that very much. Good job, Anthony. There's Austin Translation.

He was on this stage yesterday playing Last Man Stanton. Jeff becomes her. Have I seen that before, Jeff? Feels like I have. But good job, dude. That's a good one. Daddy Day Garen?

Karen? Oh, I get it daddy day karen but you spell karen c-e-r-i-n no oh you're erin Daddy Dake Aaron. See, I just have to say it that way. We got Alex in the city. What's this one right up front? Captain Emilio. It's Captain Emilio instead of Captain Marvel. And you covered up Marvel with tape

that you wrote Emilio on. And I got a couple of three wise acres, wise crackers that are going to come out here and I bet you that gets picked. I bet you your shit name tag is going to get chosen. Steve-O-Dead, I like that. All right, what's taped to that one?

What's that on there? Yeah, what's that? Pez. Oh, shit. I that? Pez. Oh, shit. I fucking love Pez. Nothing tastes better than candy from a neck. Well, there's

lots of great ones. Thank you guys for making all that effort. There's always a good name tag turnout out here. I don't know where you guys are coming from, the suburbs or Chicago proper, but thank you for...

Doug Pluggs, speaking of Chicago proper, I'm going to be at Zany's in Chicago tomorrow night doing stand-up, and we will play some Last Man Stanton at the end if you want to give it a go but it's tough up here isn't it Austin yeah yeah these fucking bright lights I mean it's hard enough to remember your jokes but then to remember Robert Downey Jr. movies from before we even knew who he was.

Anyway. So yeah, that's tomorrow night. And then Tuesday night, I'll be doing Douglas' movies for the first time ever at Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky. That should be pretty fun. They're coming off of all the excitement of the derby. What a controversial race that was.

I have no idea what happened there. So much fake news. The winner didn't win, everybody. Okay. When's that going to happen to Tom Brady? When's he going to beat the wrong horse? If you're in L.A., come to Malton Fest on Friday for a Doug Loves Movies plus a screening of the Overlook Gem, Sing Street.

And next Sunday, May 12th, I'll be celebrating Mom's Day like I do every year with a 420 show at Comedy Works in downtown Denver, home of people who smoke weed and don't hang out with their moms. It's a perfect fit. For all of my dates and deeds, go to

DougLovesMovies.com That's DougLovesMovies.com Yeah! Woo! I love you! I like all that freestyle at the end I thought wallet was going to take off but I guess it isn't let's see what else do I have to go over here real quick

from the corrections department on the last episode from LA I gave the win to Dana Gould when it should have gone to Adam Ray From the corrections department, on the last episode from L.A., I gave the win to Dana Gould when it should have gone to Adam Ray, but it's my show, so all decisions by me are final. Not necessarily smart, but final. I'd like to do some dugouts. I'd like to do a dugout to a friend of mine who came by.

He's been on the show a bunch of times. And, you know, as you can see, I've only got room for so many guests. But I was excited to hear he's in town, my friend David Huntsberger. So a dugout to him. And we'll have him back on the show sometime soon. A dugout to everyone who donated money to yesterday's podcast-a-thon to raise money for Smile Train. I guess they raised more than they ever have before.

And my two auctions for a guest spot on Getting Doug with High and Doug Loves Movies each went for a pretty nice chunk of change, so I'm excited about that. Yeah! Yeah! so I'm excited about that. Yeah!

Yeah! And my last dugout is to our friend Eddie the Eagle, the mascot of the American Comedy Company in San Diego and who I will be seeing soon because this summer, of course, I'll be down there during Comic-Con for Doug Loves Movies on July 17th.

But I just want to say hi to him real quick. We've got him patched in today to speak to us. Eddie, can you hear me? Caw-caw! Happy birthday! Wait a second. Whose birthday is it?

That's what Frosty says when he comes to life. I'm trying it out. I thought maybe you thought Cinco de Mayo was Mexico's birthday. Happy birthday! Mexico! How's it going down there in San Diego? Are you excited that Doug Loves Movies will be back? I can't wait Doug

I'm going to cosplay this year What are you going to dress up as? Groot So you're going from a bird of few words to a limb of even fewer words. Yep. When are you coming here? What's that?

When are you coming here? I said it. I guess you were on hold, but... Today? No, not today. July settle down eddie i'll be there uh july 17th the first night preview night they call it of comic-con in san diego okay we've we've had a lot of turnover what is what does that mean they caught jessa they caught Jessa drinking people's beer after she bust the tables. So now they got in a girl, Mackenzie, and she's a bitch.

Okay, so yeah, I get it. Well, you know, it's a hot club and a hot spot, so you're going to have a lot of turnover on the employees. Todd Glass was here last week. Yeah? Todd Glass was here, and he put a blanket over me because he said I was distracting to the audience. I am not surprised that Todd would do that,

and I hope that blanket is still there. I'm just teasing, Eddie. No, you dare. Don't you dare. Maybe just for a few minutes, just to see what that sounds like. Okay, but never forget, I'm an eagle,

so I'm the only person who can get higher than you I think you're the only person I know who's not a person well played well thank you Eddie we'll see you soon okay oh so exciting to talk to Eddie let's talk prize bag you guys because I brought some stuff I was having some Cinco de Mayo fun over at Adobe Gillis. So I got a couple big straws.

You got to supply the margarita. I got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. Got a cute little hat that says Magical Butter on it. It's real soft and nice. Got a Douglas Movies sticker. We got a sippy cup that I got when I saw... I got this one at Oklahoma. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you, person who follows my Twitter. And then from our friends at Glass Action, you can contact them and get anything you want made into a nightlight. And so they're always making me nightlights, and I appreciate it. And so here's a really nice Doug Loves Movies nightlight. I love it.

But I'm giving it away. It's in the bag. I was just in I did a 420 show in Boston so I brought you guys a copy of a book about Boston. You're dying to read up about it. And then I've also got a, from Rockin' Pins,

you can get these at rockinpins.com, a little Doug Benson pin. Yeah, a few folks walked away with those yesterday. They're only $10, cash only. If you have a $20, just get two. We'll be doing that after the show. But also, there's going to be stuff contributed to the bag by my three guests. Shall I bring them out here now?

I'm so happy they're all in town. Please. This is like the weirdest powerpoint presentation z is for xenophobia let's talk about it assholes i'm not even going to say that word. This is the dumbest bit I'm doing. All right.

So, please give it up for Chad Daniels, Greg Fitzsimmons, and Dan Van Kirk. Thank you. All right. It feels like you guys are going to be let down with what's coming up next. That was so exciting. But let's meet them individually, starting with the man to my left, Mr. Chad Daniels. Hi, everybody. How are you doing, man? I'm doing great. How are you?

I'm great. Good. Yeah, this is exciting. It is exciting. Yeah. They're playing kickball outside on the hockey rink. Well, it's AstroTurf for this. It's seasonal. It'll be a hockey rink in the winter.

Well, okay. I don't know how it works here. I would join them if they were doing that in a hockey rink. There's not enough balls in hockey. Except for the ones on all the people who play it. We just saw a guy get hit in the neck so hard. Holy shit. I know you guys were in here getting ready for this show.

I don't know what Captain America was up to. I can't believe you're in the front row. Appreciate you coming out. But shouldn't you be in the 40s somewhere? Might be a spoiler Hey Chad What's going on with you Chad? You got a new thing coming out? You have a new special on Amazon Prime

called Dad Channels. There you go. That's it. I've seen it, and it's outstanding. Well, thank you. It's great. That's nice of you to say. All right, Chad, get ready for Greg's plug.

See if you can quid pro quo that shit. Well, whatever he says, I've already seen it. It's my penis. I'm going to talk about my penis. There he is

in the middle, everybody. It's Greg Fitzsimmons. It's great to be here in almost Chicago. Mm-hmm. Chicago land-ish. Yeah. Yeah, I always have a really nice time out here.

This club is perfect. Yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah. No, it really is. And no, and it is, it is, Chicago is always funny. When you're going from here into the city. Like, I can remember coming in years ago and your traffic reports are cryptic. It's like traffic is backed up to the post office.

That's literally a thing they say. The post office and the water tower. And you're like, that's not on my map. I don't have a post office on here. It's exciting that you're still running around with maps. Got some sort of cartographer on our hands. That's actually how old that joke is. He's been doing it.

Special was okay. Wasn't great. I mean, it was... He tried really hard. He had me at Dad, but lost me at Channels. And also joining us today is Dan Van Kirk!

Hello. There's someone with a wrist guard in the front row whistling with a whisk guard. I'll take it. Thank you very much for preparing yourself for whistling. Hello, Doug. Hey, Dan. How you doing? I'm doing good. How are you? I'm nice. That's great. My friends. I'm feeling nice. How are you? I'm nice. That's great, my friend. I'm feeling nice.

Yeah. The weed's pretty good here. I can't complain. And yeah, well, you've got something coming up that we should know about? I do. We're probably going to drop this tomorrow, I imagine-ish. This will be out tomorrow, yeah. Tuesday, the 7th of May, I will be doing a live

Dumb People Town, the Sklar brothers and myself, obviously, and we will be joined by Amy Mann, Tim Heidecker, and John C. Riley. Yeah. That's at the Largo in Los Angeles. You guys get way better guests than I get.

You know, there's a lot of other shows at 420 that I could be doing right now. That was a compliment to me and an insult to me. Yes. By the way, I'm sorry. No, you go, my friend. Where's that show at, Dan Largo? Yes, I'm sorry. No, you go, my friend. Where's that show at, Dan Largo? Yes, sir.

Okay. Yeah. I didn't get to play shit. I'm going to be in Atlanta, D.C., Tampa, and Oxnard. Oh, okay.

Ooh, that's a familiar route. How do you think... A good agent. Chad, how do you think those shows are going to go? I think they're going to go really great. Well, I have a map

so I can find them. Ox nard, you just drive until you see that ox. It's never facing towards you. Yep. If you hit the nard you went way too far Don't hit the nard Alright let's talk prize bag

Chad, Daniels, what do you What do you have for us I brought too much shit I guess I brought so much stuff Well people love stuff I got last month's HGTV magazine. Okay. Nobody needs that.

Oh, Dan wants it. Dan's going to take it. I should mention that when you're on stage, anything that anybody brings, if you want it, you can have it. We get first dibs. Hell yeah. If there's a four-page bio on Dr.

Not Dr. Just regular Scott. What's his name? Drew Scott? Adam Scott? Property Brothers. I love that show. Dan, are you all right?

Do you need medical attention? I'm really excited about this magazine. I've been looking to get into a closed concept home for a while. Alright, well, while Dan's looking at that, say the other stuff. I have some unopened Cottonelle flushable wipes. It's a ten count.

Last night I was in Madison, Wisconsin at Comedy on State, and somebody shit their pants at the show. You're gonna need all 10 for that. Is it unopened because they just used the packaging? Well, it's unopened because I bought them. It inspired me to buy A Flushable Life. As soon as someone shit themselves at your show,

you're like, I should just bring... I was like, Walgreens, I'm coming for you. Okay. You brought up David Hunsberger earlier on. This is his comic book. It's so funny and so great. It's just perfect. It is just perfect.

According to the title. That's the name of it. I brought a white chocolate Reese's egg. Which I think is the perfect ratio. I'm telling you. I brought one crest. That's so good.

One crest white strips, just in case you want to try it and figure out if it's for you or not. Is white chocolate cultural appropriation? Does that mean fucking delicious? Because then yes Also brought the holy bible that was placed In my room by the Gideons

In memory of something AKA the original fan fiction Yeah They ran out of space And then as a bookmark in here From that new special that was just okay Is a bumper sticker that says Drive safe, don't rape

That's some Old Testament shit right there And I For the listener at home Doug held it up like he was a round card girl at an mma fight and then i i put it in the do it that was worth it. And I put it in the page where, to me, the funniest thing in the Bible is Genesis 43, 23. It says,

Your God, the God of your father, has given you treasure in your sacks. And I've never laughed so fucking hard in my life. So there you go. Wow. It's just a real funny phrase in the Bible. It's my second favorite part of Genesis. First one, Abacab.

All right, that was a lull. That was a lull for this crowd. What do they call the numbering system in the Bible? What is that? The verses. Verses. Do they count down toing system in the Bible? What is that? The verses. Verses. Do they count down to the best one each time? Usually not.

Do they build to number one? Mm-mm. All right. Thank you, Chad. You did bring too much. That's fair. I tried to tell you. Greg brought just the right amount.

What did you bring, Greg? I brought one thing, and it's a very special thing, and someone yelled it when I walked on stage, so I have to find out who they are. I was in Boston many years ago, and a woman called up the comedy club in Boston, and I believe she was an overweight black woman for the sake of the show,

and she says, who's on the show tonight? She was from the 1870s. And they said, well, it's Jackie Flynn, Anthony Clark, and Greg Fitzsimmons. And she said, is Grapefruit Simmons the headliner? Put it on. Put it on. Put it on.

You don't have to really put it on. I just thought it was a funny twist. But that's a great shirt. That's great. Thank you so much for bringing it. Of course. Good job. Dan, what do you got?

I'm going to give back the magazine, but to prove I'm right, Drew and Jonathan Scott right here on the back cover. And there's a quiz that says, your episode of House Hunters just aired. When are you getting a divorce? Thank you for not reading my answer right that i checked off on there uh i got to give credit where credit is due my uh contributions to the gift bag were provided by a very good

friend of mine by the name of james manon who is here today james said i have really good things for you to give for the bag and i said at this, I'm going to get a bit out of it being bad. So he's not. No, they're great. First off, promoting a friend of ours and a friend of the show. It's a headband from the one and only Colt Cabana. And then, is this autographed, James? It's an autographed...

Yes! It's an autographed picture from one half of one of the greatest comedy bits, in my opinion, of all time. It is an autographed picture of and by Jerry the King Lawler. Yes. It is nice. It's a nice little wrestling package. So cool. I like it.

Thanks, dude. And if you don't know the bit I'm talking about, you need to know more about comedy. I'm going to leave it at that. Yeah. I'm tempted to mansplain it, but I'm not going to. But I am going to leave it at that. Yeah. I'm tempted to mansplain it, but I'm not going to. But I am going to wear this headband. Nice.

Don't you tell me to turn it over. I want upside down people to be able to read it. All right. Somebody's winning all of that tonight. Wow. Yeah. Just one person. Unless that one person is a very giving individual.

What you do with this stuff once you have it. Like if you want to give Dan the magazine, I... I think he still really wants it even though he gave it back. I need to know what happens to Christina in Flip or Flop. I need to know. I'm deep in HGTV. I guess so. Yeah.

You got the references, I guess. Oh, love it or list it, they always fucking love it. Always fucking love it. Chad Daniels, hardball question coming at you. What was the last movie you saw? I saw Avengers Endgame. Yeah! Name the top three things that happened in it

that you probably shouldn't say. David Gale dies at the end. You ever seen the movie Life of David Gale? The Kevin Spacey thing? Yeah. Okay. I did see it. A lady at a show in Columbus, Missouri

heckled me at the show. Then the next day I went to Life of David Gale and she yelled at me. She goes, that's the comedian, that motherfucker. And she goes, David Gale's probably funnier than you. And I said, are you going to that movie? And she said, I sure am. And then I told her what happened.

Oh my God. That's a great plan for any time. Just have a spoiler ready. And then hopefully the heckler will actually be impactful to that person. But the life of David Gale, she's got an interesting taste in movies. Because nobody liked that movie, right? I think everyone was pre-hating Kevin Spacey. Because he tried too hard.

Even before everybody knows that he's horrible, he made a series of movies where it just was clear he was trying to win an Oscar. He would shoot... Apex? Yeah. He always played these weird characters and just different kinds of things

that stretched his... I don't know why I'm talking about this. But do you like the end game? I did. If you want to lose all faith in humanity, go to a movie on opening night. Jesus Christ. It is a bit of a zoo.

It's an action movie. You know there's going to be explosions. Time when you open your fucking candy. How hard is that shit? How hard is it? You're 100% right. It's absurd. And it really does make there's a lot of sadness and sad scenes in the movie and it makes them seem even longer because of all the fucking

popcorn chewing. Yeah. And the wrapper opening opening there was a guy still chewing on popcorn it's a three-hour movie and he didn't finish his popcorn by the end of the movie don't trust that person there was a guy when i went to the movie who started walking down the stairs then as soon as he turned the corner when you couldn't see him anymore you could hear him running then he came back in and he goes sorry guys shit my pants that's two pantshit stories in the last three weeks at the when i went and saw ed game at the very end it goes the movie ends we've all been on this journey together we go through the entire credits house lights come up this woman at i don't know mid-60s walks down the steps like she's leaving stops turns back to the people nearest to her and goes well i guess that's why they don't want us to spoil it and then walks out and i'm like

because something happens in it none of this logic makes sense and I don't think she knew the people she was talking to we were right we were waiting around for a potential trailer for something I know and then all these high school kids came to clean up the theater and they were like there's no fucking trailer get out of Yeah, it got out there pretty fast that there were no bonus scenes at the end. So I was grateful for that.

But there is a something. What? There is a something. I don't want to give away what it is, but I'll tell you after the show. Some people know, right, that there is a, yes, there is a something. Doesn't sound exciting. It's more of a nod. Yeah.

For the listener at home, Doug and I did that to each other. And half the audience just nodded. It's true. Is it a Stan Lee thing? Mm-mm. Because I did love, I love the, you know,

what is up, maybe the final Stan Lee appearance. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yeah, well. Did somebody just go, aw, aw, an old guy died. No, I mean, that's how it works. Yeah, they don't even know that.

They're like, they cut him out of all future movies? What? Maybe she knows somebody with a puppy named Stan Lee. Or Stan Lee. Maybe she knows somebody with a puppy named Stanley. Or Stanley. Greg, what do you got for us? What was the last movie you saw? It's been a while. But I can still remember just the way...

Sorry. Every time. The last one, I went kicking and screaming to A Star is Born because my family wanted to go. I wanted to go see Bohemian Rhapsody. And so we went to the theater, and we're watching this movie, A Star is Born, and I'm fucking hating it.

And not to spoil it, but if you haven't seen it, I'm going to spoil it. The guy fucking hangs himself. And we're sitting there, and there's this long Lady Gaga is drawing it out. The dog lives, though. The dog lives. Dog lives. And she's dragging it out, and she's sad, and she's hanging around the house,

and she's sitting there just looking at nothing. And then all of a sudden, from the next theater, with paper-thin walls, we will, we will rock you. We will, we will rock you. I think that would have cheered her up if she heard that at that moment in the movie. Okay. I think that would have cheered her up if she heard that at that moment in the movie.

Hey, hey, we will rock you. Just Sam Elliott? Hey, hey. Can I touch your face? I stole your voice. I don't know why it's a terrible voice. Can I take off your eyebrow? Can I give you a nice French bikini wax? He really is creepy.

Yeah. But then they fall in love, so it's okay. It works out. Yeah. But I love A Star Is Born. I can watch it endlessly, but part of what I love about it is how crazy and weird it is.

Like, there's several points where the subject of where he's born and where he's going come up, and they keep saying Arizona. They never say a city in Arizona. You don't say I'm going to perform in Arizona and don't get a backup question.

Usually. And he's always just like, let's go to Arizona. Well, where in Arizona? Arizona. Yeah. They have a show in Arizona. He says he's from Arizona and they never say a specific city and I don't know why. It's the area where the road

runner used to run. Just generic cactus tumbleweed road runner. I think if you like the songs there are no boring parts, but if you don't want to sit through all those songs, then it's probably not for you. You like Queen songs better.

I do. Part of it was, Lady Gaga really is such a big star and I love her so much that I couldn't get lost in her being an actress. I was just aware that it was her the whole time. Right. Also, she's spending the whole time going, how can I become famous with this

nose? No chance. Holy shit. I wish my nose was that famous I stole your nose you want it back you're gonna have to get it you want it back it's right here no you don't get it. Now it's under the sofa.

Dan. Yes. What was the last movie you saw? Edge of Tomorrow. The movie is criminally. You mean live, die, repeat? Yes. Criminally underappreciated.

It is such a fun movie. Yeah. I think people generally loved it. It bombed at the box office. No, it didn't. No, I'm pretty sure it did. No, it didn't. When somebody's unsure of themselves,

they're just, I think it did. I don't think it did that bad. I thought it was pretty popular, but... I loved it did. I don't think it did that bad. I thought it was pretty popular. I loved it. I saw it yesterday and I thought it was great. I don't think Emily Blunt would get the Mary Poppins gig if she was in unpopular movies. Come on.

Yeah, think about that. And take a spoonful of sugar. What is an unpopular Emily Blunt movie? That was a... Oh, What Is? Yeah. I don't know, a five-year engagement? You fucking love movies.

I thought that movie was better than people gave it credit for. Brian Posehn plays a pickle merchant. All right. Sounds like a gay pimp. I don't think Posehn's that crazy of a name. All right, so... Turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! We got lots of name chags. Name chags tags for Chad Daniels.

We got lots of great name tags, some less great ones. But just go pick the one you want, the one you like. There's some pez on a couple of them over there. And while you guys do that, we'll go to a brief commercial message. We'll be right back. Today's show is brought to you by SiriusXM. If you don't know SiriusXM, then listen up. SiriusXM brings you the deepest variety of commercial-free music

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SiriusXM. No car required. All right, we're back. Oh, I like Dan's. I like Dan's a lot. Who are you playing on behalf of, Dan? Jurassic Mike. Okay.

Looks like your poster has testicles. I'll take it. Two big bags full of that sweet, sweet candy. Yuck. What do you got there? Some Reese's and some Starburst? Yeah, they're fucking cups, not pieces. Yeah, I like a cup better. Get out.

Get the fuck out. Who said it? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Take it easy. Get out. Take it easy. Stop it. Stop it. Just walk away. Stop it. Stop it.

Just walk away. It's not worth it. All right, so Chad's is a blank piece of cardboard? No, we open it up. It's two pieces. Here we go. Somebody just we open it up. Okay. It's two pieces. Here we go. Somebody just, oh, shit. Yeah.

And it's David. Purple Dave. I'm a Minnesota guy. I saw Prince. I grabbed the poster. Purple Dave. I like it. What do you got, Greg?

Thank you. I have Moon Jaker. Doug? Why'd you pick that, Greg? Because when I walked to the stage, he yelled out Grapefruit Simmons. So I figured he's the only one in the room that wants the shirt.

I work backwards. Well, I say if Chad or Dan wins, maybe the person that wins the bag, Dave or who's yours again, Dan? Fuck, Mike. I'm sorry, Doug. I just have a real problem with Mike right now. Mike used industrial strength packing tape.

Mike, do you care about this poster? You know what? Who cares? He doesn't care. Tear that shit up. You made me do this, Mike. Okay, the woman who hates Reese's Pieces, you can stay if you kick Mike out.

You're so angry. This is a joke! You're like the guy that walks around the gym and grunts before he benches. Oh, yeah. What's the point of lifting if nobody's looking? Better let everybody know how much I can lift by dropping this shit each time. Can't stand that. I always turn and look and scream.

I always offer to spot them and then don't. I think the word you're looking for is can't. The special was weak. I love how you tore the bag open. Starburst went everywhere, and this guy in the front row goes, It's a piñata. Excuse me, mister. It's a piñata. How wonderful is life if you view every bag of candy as a piñata?

I kick everything open or hit it with a bat. But yeah, it's a nice Cinco de Mayo touch. I love doing Doug Loves Movies on a holiday like Cinco de Mayo because then people listen to it the next day.

So people are way over this holiday by the time they listen to it. But it's still fun. It's still fun to do a show on Cinco de Mayo. Which flavor did you get, Greg? I'm eating the Reese's cups because I prefer them. I love Reese's cups.

They're good. Yeah. They're real good. They are great. Anyone? They're okay. How many calories are in one little one. They're just better in pieces. Too many, right?

It says 110. Per candy? Per serving, 110. How many servings are in that bag? 50. Also, Mike, who buys Starbursts without the orange flavor?

That's possible to do? I guess if you hate yourself. I just hate how the orange flavor just tastes like I'm eating an orange. I want candy, damn it. All right, so the first game we're going to play to eventually determine who wins all the prizes is something called... Chad, can you sit back in your seat a little bit? I'd love to. Are you nervous?

I just want to see the other guests. Oh. Sorry about these tits. It's a... I've been eating Reese's peanut butter cups at 110 calories a pop. Sorry about these tits. I've been eating Reese's peanut butter cups at 110 calories a pop. And then bench pressing a lot. Oopsie daisies.

All right. So this first game we're going to play is called Characters Welcome. I'm going to list the characters that are listed in the end credits of a movie according to IMDB. You guys just guess as often as you like until somebody figures out what movie it is. Okay.

Only guess if you're on stage, please. That means those of you who have your feet up on the stage, that doesn't count. Or your leftovers. Got somebody's food on the stage. What was that? The bag down there. Is that food? Yeah, what was it? Quesadillas. They gave you too much or you're just stocking up? Do you get a little brisket in there? I asked you a question. What's in there?

Oh, you just went the case. You know what? I respect you. You got to check out Dan Live. His crowd work's amazing. Yep. Look at me! Yep. We divide the audience up

into who likes Chip and Joanna Gaines and who doesn't. Then we talk food. Alright, here we go. Is this far enough back? Yeah, you're doing great. Thank you. It's also probably good for your back to have that there.

I'm crossing my arms to keep my tits in. It wasn't your tits. It was your whole body was in the way. My whole body's tits. Some dude goes, yeah it is. Jesus Christ. Sir, you're gonna have to leave. You and Mike are out.

Okay, here we go. Characters welcome. This movie. Theacters welcome. This movie. The Three Amigos. I love a good pre-guess. Does anybody else have a pre-guess? No? They're good.

Couldn't think of any movies. Your mind is blank waiting for the information to come in. The Three Amigos was such a good guess. Thanks, buddy. And I refuse to go next. Me and Chad, by the way, had an argument backstage about who's worse at Doug Loves Movies. It's a race to the bottom.

This is Dan's to lose. So I guess him and Michael kiss and make up if that happens. Hotel clerk. Pee Wee's Big Adventure. The Machete. Home Alone Part Two. Full title. Dunstan Checks In. That's not the full title

Home Alone 2 Lost in New York No I want you to know something That's the closest I'm coming to getting one right Woman in Elevator Pretty Woman That's a good guess Pretty Woman in elevator. Pretty Woman. That's a good guess.

Pretty Woman in elevator. Nobody went to the sequel. The Grand Budapest Hotel. There's a person who gets the credit in this movie Fat man Maybe I said it wrong Fat man Grand Budapest Hotel He didn't say no

What kind of tits does this guy have? Pretty sure they're fat, man. Italian waiter. This next one, I don't even know what this means. Ocean's 11. No. Ocean's 13? No.

Do you want to do them all? Nope. Nope. Bow tie driver. I'm pretty sure he just wears a bow tie and drives a car. I don't think he drives a bow tie. There's someone else in this movie called Scoop. Scoop?

Scoop. Casino Royale. That's what I was thinking too. There's just one Scoop in this movie, so it's not Speed. Quantum of Solace. It's not Raisin Bran this movie, so it's not... Quantum of Solace. It's not Raisin Bran. Yeah, I said speed. You fucking watch it.

Beverly Hills Cop. There's a lot of people in that elevator, right? Okay. Yeah. But I don't know if they listed them individually. Here we go. Here's some first and last names for you guys to latch on to. Okay.

This movie's got someone in it named George Stone. I've had some people in the audience know it now. It's also got Oscar Wallace. Jim Malone. Magnolia. Greg, are you pretending

to think too? I'm looking I was scanning the audience to see if faces looked like they knew it so I would feel better about myself Sideways This one's definitely giving away for some people

Al Capone Mobsters Untouchables Chad Daniels with the untouchables What? Oh, I get it Chicago Chicago

You stepped up When I said you were right I was going to go That's the Chicago way But Elliot Ness Was the last name I was going to say Not sure to really

Give it away If you didn't get it on that But good job Chad Thank you so much You won that game Thank you I love it here won that game. Thank you. I love it here in the windy titty. Come on.

Don't you dare. Let's play another game. This one is called, it's brand new. Oh. is called it's brand new but it is uh similar to previous games um this game is called crisscross i was inspired because i was watching uh jimmy fallon uh recently the tonight show and he had a couple gentlemen on the show one of whom uh put out the notion that he cannot

tell the difference between chris evans chris pine and chris pratt i know it's crazy i could tell the difference because two of them have been on this show so i know who that third one is he's a great white whale that I'm trying to land I don't care if he does the show but I'm going to name a movie I'll go to you individually on this one so we'll start with Chad

and we'll go to Greg and then Dan I might be good at this because I've masturbated to all three of those dudes and as I finish I just go I might be good at this because I've masturbated to all three of those dudes. And as I finish, I just go, It's a piñata.

Were they hard to kidnap? Oh, you meant on screen. Okay. Oh, that's fantastic. All right, give me the names again. Pine, Pratt, or Evans. Okay, got it. Yeah, but we'll start with Chad.

So I'm going to say the name of a movie to Chad. He's going to guess one of those three. I hope he can name one of those three. And then if he gets it wrong, it'll move to you, Greg. And if you get it wrong, it'll move to Dan. And by that point, the answer should be obvious. But you never know. All right, Chad. You are first.

The film is called The Princess Diaries 2 Royal Engagement. Pine, Pratt, or Evans? Pine. Pine is correct. Thank you so much. Thank you. I think you were playing possum back in the green room. No shit.

I wasn't playing possum. That's just a go-to movie when I'm lonely. Okay. Ted Daniels, the guy at the bar who's never played pool. Right. And the virgin. What does that do if you show up at a bar and announce you're a virgin?

No, it's just a girl at Arizona State University. She's a senior in a sorority, and she tells you she's a virgin. Arizona State University. She's a senior in a sorority, and she tells you she's a virgin. So that you'll let her win at pool. Name the movie.

That's from a movie? Accused. Oh. Wait, that's pinball, not... Was it? Yeah. Yeah. I think you're thinking of Nell. Wait, that's pinball, not... Was it? Yeah. Oh. I think you're thinking of Nell.

That's a weird thing to not remember from that movie, whether she was attacked on a pinball machine or a pool table. It was a pool table, wasn't it? No, it was a pinball machine. No shit. Wow. Yeah, pool tables don't tilt when you shake them. Ah! Pool tables don't tilt when you shake them. To younger listeners, that sentence probably doesn't make any sense,

but when you would shake a pinball machine, it would stop. It would shut down, and it was called tilting it. It would say you tilted it. There was also a great Brooke Shields movie called Tilt. Yep, I'm old. Here we go. Greg, you get this next one. You get first shot at this. Which one of those dudes, Pine Pratt No, Dan Oh my god Was it pine? I love that though Because if it's the right answer

It just sounds like he really got it You know, when it's multiple choice Go ahead, go confident Dan? I will guess Pine. You're going Pine? Yeah. Let me look. That is correct. Okay, here's a new one for Chad.

It's a movie called Carriers. Carriers. Carriers. Evans. I don't know what they're carrying. I've never seen it. I'm going to go Evans.

Incorrect. It's Pratt. Greg is confident about Pratt. It's Pratt. Incorrect. Dan? Dan? It's Pratt.

Incorrect. Dan? I think I'm going to go Evans? You're all wrong. It was Pine. See, you never know what's going to happen. What were your SAT scores? It's fun you assumed I took it. This is Illinois, baby. ACT all the way.

Oh, wow. And I got an 11. Well, that's a really different point system. Oh, yeah. 11's probably near the top. All right, so we're back over here to you, Chad. This next one is called Blind Dating. dating? I mean,

it's been pine so many times, right? I'm gonna go Evans. Nope. You dummy, it's pine. That is right. Thank you. Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

Thank you. Oh, stop it. Stop it. Thank you. Greg Fitzsimmons is on the board. We got a three-way tie. We got ourselves a shooting match. Dan, you get to start this one off.

Okay. It's a movie called Bottle Shock. Bottle Shock. Was the response from the audience. Pine. That is correct. All right, Chad. I hate it so much.

Which one was in a movie called Small Town Saturday Night? Oh, man. Because this is where he flips it. This is where he flips it. But I'm going to say fucking... I'm going to say Pine. How about just know the answer for once in your life? Why does it always have to be clever guessing?

Oh, God, this feels just like my divorce. Chris Pine is correct. Yeah! You know it! Nice. You ready, Greg? I did. Am I ready?

I'm ready. You ready, Greg? I did. Am I ready? The movie is called Celeste and Jesse, or it might be a plus, Celeste plus Jesse Forever. It's Celeste plus Jesse Forever, and it's Evans. No. You're half right, I guess.

Dan? This does feel like the time you might have done it. Done what? Like flipped it around. I'm going to go pine. Yeah, it's pine. And that is how you get it done! I don't approve of that.

Hi, Chad. Hi. Hi. Hi. Pun! Is that really how you want to play this? I'll listen to the movie. How many fucking rounds of this are we going to do? Did you not think of any other games for today? Somebody doesn't like losing.

Yeah, at this point, I'm just playing long enough so you can catch up. Chad, the movie is called... Chad, the movie is called... Gem and the Holograms. Wow. The fuck was that? People were dry heaving and shit.

That noise meant the women know that answer. Jim and the holograms. It's a real thing, Greg. It's me. This is me. Don't you dare answer it. What do you mean it's a real thing? Do you think I was a hologram denier? Most men are. It's a little scene by dudes, this movie. But what do you got?

I'm going to go... I don't think Pratt was in movies. I'm going to go Pine. No. It's okay. I knew it was going to happen to me. Pine. Pratt! That's right.

Thank you. Pine. You're gaining on him, Greg. Don't get disqualified for beating one of the other players. Attempted a Kentucky Derby joke. All right. I bumped Chad on that last one. Yeah, you bumped him.

Dan? Yep, yep. I'm definitely paying attention. The movie's called Z for Zachariah. Ooh. Evans. Nope. God damn it.

Do it. Pine. Yes, it's Pine. And that means Chad Daniels won that game. If, if he gets through this tiebreaker against Dan. Yeah, I just looked down and saw, oh no he doesn't.

You guys have three each So we gotta break this tie So I'm going to say Greg, sit this one out I get what a tiebreaker is You didn't have to highlight That I'm out Maybe you should leave for a little bit

Let's finish this game without you Go sell somebody the papers Then I'm out. Maybe you should leave for a little bit. Let's finish this game without you. Go sell somebody the papers. You're really good at podcasting. The listener at home, Greg, has an entire stack of Chicago Tribunes that we have not talked about up until this moment in the show. He's a hoarder who travels. All right. So between Dan and Chad, I'm going to say title of a movie and just whichever one of you blurts out the correct person that's in it.

Okay. Of those three. Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse. Pine. Evans. Pratt. It's Chris Pratt. It actually is Chris Pratt.

No, it's Chris Pine. Damn it. But that's the first one you said, so you win. That's true. I don't feel good about it. I don't feel good about it. Chad was so slow, you could have just yelled all three names quickly. I did.

Not quickly, though. I was trying to let him wear himself out. A little rope-a-dope. Pine, Pratt, Evans. All right. So Dan wins that game, and he gets to go first in our final game. But before we play that, I have got to ask this audience if anybody has a hankering for a Starburst candy. Just close your hand when it hits it

Oh, that was my fault That one was my fault You can tell which ones are the White Sox fans And which are the Cubs fans You got it, lady. Where are you? There aren't any oranges. Where are you, lady?

You're getting an orange one. Over there. Now look. Now look. When we land, there's another group waiting to get on this plane. So please pick up all your Starbursts before you leave. Who wants an orange one? It's called a Reese's!

Reese's Cups, baby! We got a side over here that's upset that they don't got any Reese's. Why the fuck? This is the new way to do parades. Everybody into one room, and then you throw them the candy. And I'll say a lot of things about your crowds. They are film buffs, intelligent, slightly not good catchers.

Not very athletic in general. Just a bunch of pitchers. It's not a rock. It's not a fucking rock. Hey, I brought bricks for the prize bay. She was like, there's no Reese's peanut butter cups on this side.

And then you underhand one. Jesus. Right. I'd understand if it was pieces. I don't like pronouncing it in any way that rhymes with feces. I don't like pronouncing it in any way that rhymes with feces. Well, that's the rule. Alright, we're going to play

one more game, and it's going to determine the winner today. This is the one for all the prizes for one person. And the game is called Last Man Stanton. This is where we'll all take turns

naming movies that a person's been in. If you can't think of one, you're out. But you do have one lifeline. The person whose name tag you chose, if you didn't rip it up. If you remember the name that was written on it. Mike, right? I think it was. Yeah, you'll go to Mike.

I'm counting on you, Purple Dave. And here's a new wrinkle that we're having no fun with so far, but I expect it might be fun someday. You get one call a celebrity. Really? Yeah, so... So if your lifeline craps out of you,

it's only if your lifeline doesn't have an answer, but if your lifeline fails you, you can go to your phone and call anybody you want, but we've referred to be a celebrity because that would be exciting. Jim Norton called Ozzy Osbourne. and call anybody you want, but we've referred to be a celebrity because that would be exciting. Jim Norton called Ozzy Osbourne.

I'm going to have a problem. I don't know any celebrities, and my phone is in the green room. Oh, you know what, though? I'll let you go grab your phone if it comes up, and you can just call me. Perfect. That's great. I mean, you know, pseudo-celebrity.

Oh, nice. That's great. I mean, you know, pseudo-celebrity. Oh, nice. That's a good call. And you know he's going to have to use it because he sucks. The special was not strong. All right, so for this game, we need a suggestion, and I preselected somebody from the Internet. This person, I think it's a dude, wrote to me on Instagram, and the name is RKSAK66.

Yeah? What's your, can you tell us your actual name? Ryan? Does that fit into that anywhere? The R in that is for Ryan? Okay. What's that? His last name is Kostelnik.

That's because we're near Chicago. Chicago. That's because we're near Chicago. He probably fucking bitches about old Irving Park all the time. You got a big dick? Let me work it. That sounds like your name. Your name is a lyric. He's right, yeah.

Missy Elliott put your name in a song, dude. Wait, how do you say it? What is it? Oh, my God. It's like you're daring people to try to say it back to you. Where are the bodies buried? He uses the same tone as when he speaks to his grandmother. Right? Am I right?

I told you. Dan, you are like speaking to a deaf person. I don't know. We got some Diego if we arrested named Koshnateshchik or some shit like that. All right, but we'll call you Ryan for simplicity's sake. It's an easy one. And what is your suggestion for today, sir? Oh, shit.

You wrote to me on Twitter saying that you had a great suggestion for Cinco de Mayo. So I guess that's great for that. What do you think, guys? You think we can... I have two. I'm out. This will probably end pretty fast, right? I don't... I mean, Danny Trejo, great character actor.

He's been in a ton of shit, but he's only starred as the main character a few times. Right. So he's a tough one. Let's get a backup. Raise your hand if you have... It doesn't have to be Cinco de Mayo themed. Here, this gentleman right here.

What's your name? What's your name? Tom. Tom. And your suggestion is Danny DeVito? Okay, no. What's your name? What's your name? Tom. Tom. And your suggestion is Danny DeVito? Okay, no. What's your name? I'm just joking around.

That's a great one. So we're going to do the films of Danny Trejo and Danny DeVito. Well, Danny, this seems like this is right down your wheelhouse. You'd think, but it is not. You don't got it? I think you know a lot of Danny movies. Four Danny DeVitos. So you won that last one there, Dan.

So then we'll go from you to Greg and then to Chad and then me. I'll play along, but I can't win. It's whoever lasts the longest between you three. Here we go. Dan. The films of Trevito. Okay. I will go with Machete.

Don't clap for that shit. I said it earlier. Yeah, but you were talking about cutting somebody. That's true. Greg Fitzsimmons. Wait, did Chad go? No, we're going to switch around. Oh.

I think it was called greed or greedy people. Now, here's the thing, Greg. You don't want to say a wildly inaccurate guess on your first try. You want to take a moment, think about the small body of work. Trejo's shorter than you'd think too yeah he's not that tall but just think about it for a second

you go to your lifeline but what you said was nonsense there's a victory I think you touched on a theme of several of his films It was a movie about He was a greedy guy And he went to Providence

And he was like One of those guys that buys companies And then runs them into the ground He was in a limo Anyway, Jake This is fast Matilda First round, Lifeline Anyway, Jake. This is fast. Matilda. He's going Matilda.

First round, Lifeline. Nobody's ever done that before. You know what? I'm so excited about who you're going to call, you're still in the game. That'll be your next Lifeline is the phone call. Chad? Twins.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Very good. What's that one where he's really greedy? I'm pretty sure it's called Other People's Money. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think in this case it's going to be other people's prizes for me. Oh, Danny boy.

It's a perfect holiday for it. I like the next line of that song. The pipes are calling. Because pipes are always calling me. I'm named after that song. For real? Yes, that's the song. That's why you're named Danny Boy Van Kirk?

I shortened it to Daniel. What's your birthday? August 5th. Okay. I got a surprise. That was great. Okay. I guess my response is great. Okay. Seems legit. I will go with...

Secret Greg is the worst bartender. What's your trouble, son? Then I go down to the other end of the bar taking a order. Then I go down to the other end of the bar taking a water. I will go with Batman Returns. Oh, very good. That was very good.

It's kind of a generic penguin. All the penguins do that. It's true. Alright, I'm calling my lifeline. Here we go. He's trying to get Bob Saget on the phone. Oh, I won. Yeah, don't make it private.

Oh, it's ringing. Does he pick up when you call? Yeah. Oh, shit. He'll know a DeVito movie. He probably directed it in one. Shh. call? Yeah. Oh, shit. He'll know a DeVito movie. He probably directed him in one. Shh. Come on. Come on, Saget. It's embarrassing. He doesn't even have a show on the air right now.

I can't come to the phone. Please leave a message. Leave him a message. All right, Bob. It's Greg Fitzsimmons. Call me back. I really need you to answer a question. I'm on Doug Loves Movies. And we're in Chicago,

and you're allowed to call one celebrity as your lifeline. And I chose you because normally you pick up the phone when I call. But maybe you're hanging out with Jeff Ross at a steakhouse in Beverly Hills. Call me back. All right, man. I love you. Okay, so you're out, but if he calls back...

I'm back in. You're back in. All right, good. So I don't know any celebrities, but can I make up a name and have someone not answer too? Okay, that's what I'm going to do. Idiot, you should have said the name of a celebrity called somebody you know isn't going to pick up.

My phone's on airplane mode in there. I'm a pro, you guys. Oh yeah, you left it in the back there if anybody wants to steal a phone. So you don't have another DeVito or Trejo? Oh, I'm going to try. Oh, okay. Go War of the Roses.

Yes. That's a good one. Are the people not clapping? Did they know that because that's horseshit what's that i just don't think i don't think all the people not clapping not enthused i don't think they knew where the roses and they're sitting there like they're fucking king shit and i don't like it people do people live in a rarefied era who've never heard of that movie

i loved it when I saw it a long time ago. It's really dark and disturbing and I want to watch it again. Great story. You know what I'll never watch again because it's boring and I don't care where the fuck he went? Hoffa.

Dan? Got some cattle in the audience. Answer. What do you got? Answer. What do you got, Mike? Oh, he's going to Mike. Lifeline Mike.

Danny Trejo's in Badass. Great. You going with that? Is that the full title? Is that the full title, Mike? Oh, you're saying it's Badass. What? I misheard you.

It's called Badass. Yep, I'm going to go with Badass. What did you think he said? I thought there was a movie called Danny Trejo is a Badass. Which, hold on, completely plausible. Yeah, I think that's entitled. I mean, if that's the title and he's the star, that's implied that he's the badass. Greg, any word from Bob? No, I'd like to call a second celebrity.

All right, let's see if he answers. Who you got? Are you not going to tell us this time? No. We'll keep it quiet. We'll see if he answers. We know it's a man. We know it's someone who...

Hello? Nick. What's up, dude? Nick Schwartzen, everybody. All right, I'm in Chicago at Zany's, and we're playing Doug Loves Movies. Oh, nice. So if you get stumped on a question,

each contestant can call a celebrity lifeline to help get an answer. Okay. You're one of the... You are truly one of my smart... Why did you call me? You're a very smart guy. I know, I'm kidding.

Yeah, what's going on? How high is Doug? How high is Doug right now? Put him on the screen. How high are you, Doug? I'm doing pretty good. Hey, Nick. Yeah. How great was Sandman on SNL last night?

Oh, I thought he was incredible. Yeah, that was a great show. Yeah, he did a great job. Really, really great. I think they should have him host every season. Enough Alec Baldwin. They should be on together and do Canteen Boy again. It's a really good time for that sketch.

Okay, so Greg's going to ask you a question, Nick. Okay. I need the name of a movie that Danny DeVito is in or Danny Trejo. Or Danny Trejo. Danny DeVito, Death to Smoochie, Danny Trejo, Machete.

That works. That works. Well, you saved me. I was kicked out of the game, and now I'm back in again. Well, I've been kicked out of bars, and you've got me back in again. All right, so you earned a plug. Is there anything you want to promote on Doug Loves Movies?

I'll be back in Chicago soon and drinks on me. Thanks, Watson. Thanks, buddy. I'll talk to you soon. Wow, what an offer, you guys. Take him up on it. Go up to him. Hey, I was at that

Doug Loves Movies taping. No, I didn't just listen to it. I was there. All right, so Greg's back in. What do you think of that, Chad? Nice. I think he should have to come up with another one. Oh, yeah, he has to come up with one on his own.

Because he skipped a round. No, I get to call another celebrity next time. Because let's face it, you guys would rather that Saget or Swartzen was on this show than me. So let's see if I can keep rolling that. What do you got, Chad? Oh, man.

You still got your lifeline, right? Yeah, I'm going to go to... I think I know one, but I'm not sure exactly the title, so I don't want to give it away. That's tricky. I'm going to go... Dave, you think you got one? Yeah.

Or you want me to get... Okay, go for it. Oh, listen to this guy. Jesus Christ. You see how this is supposed to go, Mike? I'll take DeVito. Okay, what do you got for DeVito? He says, wise guys.

You agree? Yeah, I don't fucking know. With Joe Piscopo and Captain Lou Albano. Wow. Yeah, directed by Brian De Palma. Thank you. Thank you. Two thumbs way up from Chicago's own Siskel and Ebert I always remember them loving that movie and me seeing it

And going what was there to like Why did they like this This is terrible But all the people involved in making it are nice I'm going to go with What's the matter Dan I just finally thought of a movie Oh perfect

You have to wait until after me Junior with... What's the matter, Dan? I just finally thought of a movie. Oh, perfect. And you're probably going to say it. You have to wait until after me, Junior. Oh. Doug Benson to block. Hold on. And that is... Is that how you do it? Well, we'll find out. We'll find out.

That is not how it's supposed to go. Was that really the one? Yeah. All right. Saget's calling. Guess who's back in the game? They cannot take... I got one.

Say it, Dan. Say it real quick. Greg, this is Bob Saget. Am I too late? No. All right, people are very excited. When I called you and you didn't answer, there was a very, there was a sadness.

Do you remember Star is Born after the guy hung himself? called you and you didn't answer, there was a very... There was a sad... Do you remember Star is Born after the guy hung himself? It felt like that all over again. All right, hang on a second. Hey, Bob, it's Doug. Hang on a second. Dan, say yours, because it's your turn. I love you. I love you. Say it.

I am going to go with L.A. Confidential. Yeah, very good. All right, now talk to Bob. So here's what we need. You're my lifeline, and we're thinking of movies starring Danny DeVito or Danny Trejo. And who else? Danny from Full House.

Danny DeVito and who else? Danny from Full House. Danny DeVito. I have to accept my apology. I'm getting an award in Pennsylvania for being in broadcasting, which makes me, I think, a low life form at this point. But who is this other star besides Danny DeVito? Name the name again. Danny Trejo, pock-faced Mexican LA guy.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I like Danny Trejo. Now I know who you're saying. Can you give me another one? Any movie that Danny DeVito's in. Oh, any movie. Twins. Already said. We did that one already. Oh, any movie Twins Twins?

Already said Already said We did that one already War of the Roses Already said Bob and I think alike Oh Let's see These are so easy

Do you not have a laptop in front of you? Or the phone you're on? I'm kidding. The only thing we could have probably done was having diarrhea. So, hold on. I am.

Unfortunately, I typed diarrhea. Hold on. I'm about to literally get an award and have to get a speech. Oh. And here we go. Here we go. Okay.

Matilda, Quinn, Dumbo. My lifeline is getting a lifeline. Batman Returns. What is it? The Lorax Space Jam. Oh, the Lorax. All right, Lorax. That's awesome.

Bob Saget, everybody. Thanks, buddy. Congratulations on your award. We're proud of you. Bye, Bob. Love you. Bye. All right.

Greg's still in it. I'm just so glad I don't have to resort to calling Louis C.K. That was my next call. That was going to be my next call. Okay, no more calls for you. Chad? I'm going to go. So I know he was the mom in Goonies.

But I'm not going to say that one. Come on, say it. I feel like he's in a movie with that lady. I think I know what you're feeling. Do you think I'm going to throw Mama from the train? Yeah! Oh, wow. Ann Ramsey, rest in peace.

I'm going to go with, this is a pretty big one that no one has Snapped up yet Romancing the Stone So Dan you're done Dust Till Dawn From Dust Till Dawn Yes

From Dust Till Dawn Now who the fuck Are you calling Frank's looking on his phone again From dusk till dawn. Yes, from dusk till dawn. Now who the fuck are you calling? Frank's looking on his phone again. This could take all night. Oh, my phone is ringing. This is a good one. Not really. He blocked me.

Your call has been... It was Tom Arnold, but he's not home. I know. Your call has been found. It was Tom Arnold, but he's not home. I know. I'm having a pretty big problem with the definition of celebrity right now. Tom Arnold did this show one time, and I stumped him on his own movies. Like he couldn't name people that were in movies he was in. We call that the Roseanne years.

Well, fuck you. What is that? Do you have another one, Chad? I'm going to try one. I don't know if this is the... There were so many Hispanic people in this movie. I did, yeah.

Okay, so yeah. I'm going to go with The Adventures of Lava Girl and Shark Boy. Oh. Danny Trejo is for sure in that. It seems like Trejo would show up in that. I guarantee it. Yeah. Makes sense.

Another way you could have gone was the sequel to Romancing the Stone, Jewel of the Nile. I could have. Yeah, and do you have another one now? I'm going to go with The Expendable. Wait, what happened? Let Doug play the game he wants to play, guys. You got something, Dan? Shark Tale.

Who's in that? A lot of people. There are a lot of people in that And I feel like Danny DeVito might be in it I don't think he is And we gotta end this thing anyway Fair enough And Chad almost said the Expendables

I did I'll say the Expendables too And you win Or Machete Kills Right? I got kids at the house. I can't be watching that shit. That's true.

Yeah, somebody said Get Shorty. I mean, there's a ton of them, especially for Danny DeVito, but Trejo's certainly been in a lot of... Why are you guys yelling at us? Oh, I should have gone with the Man on the Moon. Oh. Just Man on the Moon, right? God, and I should have gone with Andy Dick.

That has never been said before. Chad Daniels is our winner! Thank you so much. Playing for Purple Dave. Oh, yeah, Purple Dave. Where you at, Purple Dave? Where'd you find that? Where is he?

Right back there. Oh, there he is. Come get your stuff, dude. Here, pass it. Here, Chad, you can take it to him Nice work Good one Dan kept the magazine Oh, you can have that

Hey, you were up on stage yesterday Yeah, good to see you again There you go. Alright, well that was awesome. That was a real competitive game in this phone call thing. I think it's going to stick around because that... You were great at that, Greg. And I can't name any of those people's movies.

I'm excited to say that Doug Loves Movies is coming to the Brea Improv in Brea, California on Sunday, May 19th at 420. And it's an all-fantasy, ever-everything, a crossover event. The guys from that show are going to be on my show. What do you got to plug, Dan? Promote yourself. You can go to danielvankirk.com to see all my dates. I am on tour, which

is going on right now. I will be coming to Chicago this summer, all throughout the Midwest and the East Coast, so go to Daniel Vankirk for those dates. If you're in Los Angeles this Tuesday the 7th, you can see me at Largo with the Sklar brothers, Amy Mann, John C.

Riley and Tim Heidecker. And you can listen to me on that show or you can also listen to me on my podcast Pen Pals which I do with Rory Scovel. Wow. Greg Fitzsimmons. Well, I said my date, so I'll just plug my podcast, this is Fitz Dog Radio, which I think all of you guys have been on.

Have you been on it? All right, you're next. And then I have a new podcast with Allison Rosen called Childish. If you have kids, you may want to check it out. Or if you're immature. Or if you are a child. That's right. Thanks, Greg. Chad Daniels?

I'm going to be in Arizona. That is how you... Let's get done! Let me guess, the Acme Comedy Club? You're right by it. Hey, did you guys sign your NDAs? You're not allowed to talk about this. You can't tell people to hear the show

what we were actually throwing at you, etc. It's all secrets all the time. Well, thank you to all three of you guys. Do you want to do a real plug, Chad? Sure. Because that was fun. I also have a podcast called Middle of Somewhere. If you want to listen to it, it's pretty fun.

And then I have a new special, Dad Channels on Amazon Prime. You can go watch that. It's an hour. That's all it takes? That's all it takes. Just an hour? Thank you to Zanies in Rosemont, O'Hara, Jason. Always great to do the show here.

And, you know, hopefully the condition will continue. The tradition will continue, you know, next year and for years to come. And thanks one more time to Dan Van Kirk, Greg Fitzsimmons, and Chad Daniels. I'll see you guys out in the lobby. Photographs are free. And as always, no shitheads anymore. Positive energy!

Positive energy! If you don't know SiriusXM, then listen up. Commercial-free music, plus sports, talk, comedy, and news. They have it all. And right now, you can get your first three months of SiriusXM outside the car for just $1. Go to SiriusXM.com slash DLM to see offer details and to subscribe. That's Sirius, S-I-R-I-U-S, X-M dot com slash D-L-M. Offer available to new SiriusXM streaming subscribers.

SiriusXM, no car required. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, because Doug loves movies!