Doug Loves Movies - Dan Van Kirk, Jay Washington and Clarke Wolfe guest

Episode Date: October 28, 2022

Doug welcomes Dan Van Kirk, Jay Washington and Clarke Wolfe to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love Scary Movies Month continues here on Doug Loves Movies. It's Thursday, October 27th, 2022, which means this is this month's bonus episode. So I did not skimp on quality guests. They are Dan Van Kirk, Jay Washington, and Clark Wolf. Hello. Hello. I'm happy to be here. Let's meet everybody individually and alphabetically by first name. Can you believe it? Clark Wolf is finally being called on first after a life of wolfness.

Congratulations and welcome back, Clark Wolf. What have you been up to? Oh, wow. What an honor, Doug. Thank you for having me. I've been good. My spooky season has been, you know, chugging away. And I just wrapped a movie.

I think when I just talked to you last, I had just wrapped a movie i think when i taught just talked to you last i had just wrapped a movie um and that announcement has been made since it is a scary movie uh that's so cool the last shift reboot um starring jesse sula it was announced after we i did this show and um should be out hopefully next year wow the last shift that movie's crazy right it is show and it should be out hopefully next year. Wow. The last ship, that movie's crazy, right? It is crazy. And it's about to get even crazier. I bet. I bet it's going to be taken up a few notches. That's crazy. And of course that's plenty of time for you to come back again before, you know, closer to the, to when people can see it.

Oh, indeed. I'm hoping for it and I'm counting on it. Well, there you go. Also joining us today, we have a recent champion, this gentleman, and I say that with all due respect, won the games on Saturday in front of a live audience where the pressure is extra extra strong it's dan van kirk hey dan hello doug hello champ back thanks man feels good been a while you back champ um yeah you won the games last weekend. Barely. Very barely. I did good in the, uh, I did very well in the early games. It was the final game that was difficult.

Yeah. That was a tough one for everybody. Uh, I feel like our, the other guests today would have been, uh, it would have aced it or at least done much better than what went down. Um, real quickly though, from the corrections department, Van Damme's father was not a garbage man and Busta Rhymes is not dead. Those were the, those are the two mistakes I made in that last show. When I said, after we were talking about Busta Rhymes, I said, RIP, you said, you go, what? And then no one else mentioned it ever again.

So there was never a conversation about it. It was just you disagreeing and moving on. I didn't even know. And then I was like, Hey, we didn't establish that you were or were not doing a bit too. So you could have just been like, it was a joke. Exactly. No, I just fucked up. I just, you know,

Buster Rhymes was in the news for something else. Like something great is going on in his career. And I just equate that to when you hear about somebody, it means they just died. You know, I was hoping that your corrections was going to be that. And Jay and Clark, I hope you will agree with this.

If you list the top four things for LL Cool J, how is one of them not in CIS Los Angeles when they put TVs and movies? It has to be. It has to be at this rate. It is not. It doesn't, but sometimes people, you know, they go the pure route and he's just got movies listed. You know, maybe as an actor, he wants to up his movie profile.

So he's pushing that instead of this TV show. Yeah. I mean, he's got TV money for the rest of his life. So I guess he can just be like, push the movie side of things because he's set forever. I mean, let's face it. Destruction of Eva or whatever that was called or no was that it not i don't think that's what it was that's exactly that too no that's another movie he's in one called something else of eva deliver us from deliver us from eva yes deliver us from eva

is him gabrielle union it's a lot of people don't pay attention to that movie. It's actually pretty damn good. Well, see, that's what I'm saying. That would probably fall off of his best known for if, you know, NCIS was in there. So, you know, I say keep that movie alive through his IMDb page. And that's what happened. Let me introduce Jay, and then I'll tell him about what happened the other day. Here to challenge your champion status, along with Clark Wolf,

is challenging you as well. This is going to be a tough one. But we have Jay Washington. How's it going, Jay? I am good, man. I am so happy to be here. This has been one of those things like, I made it, mama. I finally made it.

So I'm good. I'm here. This has been one of those things like I made it, mama. I finally made it. So I'm good. I'm here. Well, and you probably would have known a lot more about the final game. The other day on the show was basically hinged on knowing about the Halloween movies. And I somehow picked a panel of people that not only don't enjoy horror films that much,

also do not know about that particular one or that series. Oh, that's terrible. Especially with Busta Rhymes going trick or treat, motherfucker, which that'll forever live in infamy to me. Out of anything in the Halloween movies, that will always stand out. Yeah, see, you know them and also can discuss them. Everyone just sat there and looked at me like, what are you trying to do to us?

Are you trying to make us look bad in the eyes of john carpenter or jamie lee curtis or something and the answer is the answer was yes but uh dan van kirk ended up prevailing and uh so he's here to compete again today and he's the first person that has to answer uh the following question or actually request and that is i would like each of you starting with dan to recommend a uh scary movie or you know dan the other day on the show recommended a frightening documentary the last breath yeah so you can't say that one again. I will not. What do you, what do you pick?

Cause I watched, I watched two new to me, horror movies that same week. I'm trying to pick which one I want to go with. I'll go with the one. I don't think I mentioned when we got together at dynasty typewriter as where people can find you. I think once a month,

I'll plug for you. It's true. It's true. I'm going to go with a Netflix movie, a suspense thriller called, I think it's called Calibre and it's the story of two friends. I think reunited after a few years of not getting to see each other and um uh they go hunting in a very remote part of england and uh uh things don't go well oh very esoteric choice dan if you've seenitual, which is four friends going on a long planned hiking trip, which I think is an excellent horror movie, but it's been out for quite a few years. If you've seen The Ritual, I think you'll enjoy Calibre.

And stick with it. It's more interesting than I think you'll think it's going to be. You know I love a movie where somebody says, stick with it. I love going into a movie knowing it's going to be some, some sort of chore. And I say why, and I don't think it's giving me so often.

I think we talked about this in horror movies so many times. I'm like, Hey, uh, the, the toaster just made toast and it's not plugged in. Like there's so many times where I would like leave, I would get out of this house.

I would turn back. So for me, that rubs me the wrong way a lot in movies when it's not plugged in. Like there's so many times where I would like leave. I would get out of this house. I would turn back. So for me, that rubs me the wrong way a lot in movies when it's that people are making what I feel are very easy decisions and they don't make those decisions. So there's just some of that where you're like, would you really keep going? Would you really keep doing this?

But it takes some interesting turns. So that's what I meant by it. All right. Calibre, C-L-A-I-B-R-E? Yes. Calibre. Yep. Point for Doug.

All right. It's not Caliber? I think it's Calibre. All right. Let's move over to jay washington i just so i've been seeing so many people talk about the sequel to this movie that i had to check out the original oh god do y'all already know movie i'm talking about then i i finally watched it and let me tell you something thank god for toby because if you want to find every terrible black movie and horror movie, you didn't know existed to be is your place.

It is this movie called terrifier. I didn't know that this, like this is one of those old, it was made in 2016, but has the most old school, gory horror film feel out of it from out of the gate, like out the gate in the first five minutes, you're like,

okay, so we're just murder, murdering people like violently. And it keeps you going with it. And again, it's one of those horror movies. You're like, I can't believe I'm watching this. And so once I'm done, I'm gonna watch the second one. And then I'm gonna go to a church and get baptized again, because I'm a need that for my soul after sitting through the both of these. You really did watch them both.

I haven't watched the second one yet because I was like, I don't want to watch the second one until I watch the first one. It's too much, right? The first one is just wild. I was like, this is what? This is happening. I recently did some research on it. The budget is only like $100,000

or something like that. I was like, okay, it looks like it, but damn. I mean mean did you just like forget and say fuck it you know what we got a hundred thousand dollars we're gonna make a clown kill people that looks like a real person as a real clown on the streets of santa monica probably like it's just terrifying and that's why this movie's called terrifier it's yeah it's perfectly named because people that are about to be murdered by a clown generally will be terrified. So he is indeed a terrifier.

And then, okay. Yeah. So how long is terrifier one? Cause terrifier two, I'm told is a terrifying two and a half hours. See, that's unnecessary.

That's God damn. I mean, that's why war movies are 90 minutes long. Like who wants two and a half hours of, you know, breathless mayhem, you know, this one, the first one is only like 80 minutes. Okay. Well that's, that's the next. So if you add them together and then divide it half, there are two 90 minute movies. Yeah. Just have,

just set them both up and then have an intermission. Exactly. Clark did the Quentin Tarantino method of horror movies i love it i love it yeah just kill bill it yeah just kill bill it does so yeah that's the other question i guess you can't answer but you know i'm wondering if terrifier 2 like just picks up where terrifier 1 left off or uh uh you know what what the connection is between the two other than obviously they got to keep that, that same clown character around, I guess he doesn't, he doesn't die at the end of terrifier. All I know, I got to find out, I'm gonna watch it.

I'm gonna find this out the hard way. And again, I'm just going to have a lot of priests, rabbis, nuns, pastors and bishops on standby. Cause I'm gonna need all of that. Cause I'm going to need that after this first one, after this first one again, after I saw, cause I was like, this is just, like you said, it's so much for such a short time. It's so much. Can I ask you, it's, it's not scary though, right? It's just gore. It's just, it's really just gore. There's no scary.

Like you get a slight jump scare here and there but nothing nothing that's major you know i'm saying nothing that's like oh shit you know i'm saying it's just the gore oh man so weird uh clark what have you got for us what would you like to recommend today well i have not made the leap to terrifier 2 either um you know i started terrifier one and i was like congratulations art the clown the actor who plays art the clown is fabulous but i am all set so i did not finish that motion picture um i did however watch barbarian finally when it hit hbo max this week and uh starring justin long who i've done this show with many times um and uh boy i think it's just as good as everybody is saying and um it was so it was very refreshing and um like in the horror space

and i will say that it will echo the thing everyone else has been saying, which is no, as little about it as possible. Just, just watch it. It's real good. Yeah. Those people have had to work hard. Cause it's like, now it's reaching me. I don't think it's in theaters and it's probably, or, you know, it's in some theaters, but it's moving towards on demand. And then, you know, I'm probably a streamer. So like, you know, everybody's going to start seeing it pretty soon.

So then we can talk about it more. Cause it is, it really is a fun one to not know anything about, but to circle back to what Dan was saying, it does have like, I mean, I could say that there's a hallway in Barbarian and that people should not go down it. Yes, I so willingly they're so willing to go down that way. Dumbest choices. How do people do stuff like that? I never understand. I will say justify it for me.

Yeah. There is one thing that our lead does where I was like, oh, no. Oh, no. And, you know, and I had it was in that moment. So it is on HBO Max now. So you can stream that. Oh, it is. OK.

Yes. But hashtag not sponsored. But, you know, that was the moment where I was like, I love watching things at home now, but also I wish I were watching this with a crowd to hear everybody yelling at the screen. But Clark, can I also ask you, and I think any person who has even a passing interest understands that at some point someone goes into a house.

So I think we're safe to say that um you wouldn't have even have ever even gone in that house am i correct yeah there's no world in which any woman i've ever known and most men but definitely all women would have been like yeah i'm gonna come in yeah i feel like you know the first i'll give i'll give the movie the first 15 minutes. They do a very good job of convincing me about the situation, but then the 10 minutes that proceed that I was like, Oh, uh,

uh, no, no, no way. Did your Southern accent come out real hard? Clark? No, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Clark? No, ma'am. No, ma'am. No, ma'am. No, ma'am. But it's still great. It's so great. Justin Long is so good. Oh, it's super fun. And you've got to have, you know,

things like that kind of have to happen in these things. But it's just sort of, it always cracks me up that, you know, there's movies that turn this genre on its year and are smart and fun and funny. Uh, but they still, you know, you still gotta get, you know, you can't get out trope free, especially with now with, uh, we talked about this the other day that this whole cell phone thing makes the screenwriting part of horror movies, uh, extra puzzle because you always have to figure out, well, why can't they just figure it out by looking at their phone?

Yes, 100 percent. I just wrote a slasher movie and the cell phones were just that. It's true. It's really, really true. Because now the trope is all of a sudden the phone has no signal anywhere. Like there's a cell phone blocker. That is just a common trope. Now, when you do have a cell phone, it's like, oh i can't get service and you're like what is this all just sprint this is terrible yeah it's funny because like if you're out in the middle of nowhere chances are better of getting service because there's not a million other people trying to use the same service. But I don't, you know, I'm no expert on being stranded in the wilderness with a cell phone.

And I don't plan to be. If I ever get stranded in the wilderness, I better not have my phone. That's all I'm saying. I want a real challenge. Oh, Lord. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

You said it. Oh, no. Oh, no. no oh no real challenge all right well we'll be getting credits yeah um we got to go to our first commercial break thank you for those recommendations i'll run those up the old uh doug loves movies twitter account flagpole and see who salutes. But I think everybody can agree we've got plenty of scary options. And like Clark said, Barbarian is on HBO Max right now. So you can just watch that this weekend. And we'll be right back. We're back.

And our first game today is something I call for reasons i don't even remember abcd is nuts perfect yeah it's only called that because of the abcd part then as long as you said abcd you might as well have some fun and uh but it's a spelling game where i'm going to give you something that we're spelling today and by spelling i mean with each letter in this thing you have to come up with a movie title just one movie title that begins with that letter i'll start with dan wait is that right sure no i said earlier we're fixing this alphabetical issue or start with clark yeah clark then dan then sorry jay jay and washington they're both letters right towards the back of the alphabet yeah yeah yeah this bunch, all right. So Clark will get the first letter.

We're going to, Oh, here's what we're going to spell. We're going to spell, uh, in honor of the fact that Dan and I are going to be performing there next month in Houston at the, uh, come and take it festival is what it's called. So we're going to spell come and take it oh so so the first letter clark would be c and she names any movie that begins with the letter c and remains in the game it's that easy but if she matches the movie that i wrote down that i have sitting here in front of me that begins with letter c then uh she wins the whole game. And we proceed like that.

The next letter is O. So Dan would get O and then Jay would get M and then back to Clark with E. We go through and spell come and take it. But like I said, anybody matches, they win. And there is definitely a theme at play here. So going first really isn't that much of an advantage because you don't even know I have an idea what the theme might be yet.

So Clark, start us off and name any movie that begins with the letter C. Alright, I'm going to try to keep mine Halloween themed, so I'm going to say Candyman. Now see, that was very smart of you to go Halloween themed because

obviously that's certainly something I would tend to do in this particular month. But the film that I wrote down was Child's Play 2. The second one. I like that. Very specific. So now we go to Dan with the letter

O. Can I ask you specific. Yes. So now we go to Dan with the letter O. Okay. Can I ask you the word the counts, right? That would only work for two. Yeah, it would count as that would be a T like the Godfather is a T title. Okay. So what do you think

for O? Well. Because that is the perfect time to ask when the letter is O. What about the letter T? I don't think it will be on your list, and I can't think of a horror movie or Halloween movie

that starts with O, and I'm sure there's probably a very obvious one. I'm going to go with I wish I wish the title oh god was a horror film well I have

you were part of that I'm going to go oh brother we're out though okay all right oh brother we're out there classic Coen brothers film but no i wrote down open water to a drift oh wow yeah okay what's happening m is the next letter to you jay all right so i'm seeing a pattern with sequels and by sequels just the second one and a little bit of horror and suspense but I'm gonna

take an educated guess because there's a lot of M movies I could go with Maniac Cop 2 ladies and gentlemen no way where's my stupid oh my god he did it I can't find my I have like

a winner whistle but I can't find it so I'm gonna have to substitute for a whistle that doesn't sound like a winner whistle, but I can't find it. So I'm going to have to substitute for a whistle. That doesn't sound like a winner, but it is a whistle. Nonetheless, there you go. Washington nailed it. Maniac cop too, is what I wrote down. And that was, I, as I was, as i came up with maniac cop 2 i was like it really there really is a dearth that means very little right there really is a dearth of m movies m horror movies that are a sequel because it had to begin with the m you know what I mean? And so, uh, that was the one that I landed on and I was worried this would happen

with such advanced players, but it's so exciting when that happens. Um, if you don't mind, since I wrote all this shit down, let's just go ahead and play it out and see if anybody else can nail it. Uh, but that is it maniac cop 2 so then e would be the next letter back to uh clark yes i have uh evil dead 2 that see that's correct as well yeah i had a feeling now let's go to Dan with the letter A. Let's show them, Dan, how we do this. I'll try.

Amityville Horror 2? No. Dang it. That wasn't a bad guess. I tried. I think that's what it was called. Might be Thaw, Amityville Horror. Oh, you're probably right.

You're probably right. So I went with one where we all know that it begins with the letter A because it's A Quiet Place Part 2. Good call. Yeah. Keeping the show current. The next letter is N to J again. Okay.

So this one is a sequel, but it's just sequel the way it's the name. Night of the Demons. I can't believe how good you are at this because that's what I wrote down as night I even wrote down I even wrote down a two next to Night of the Demons two alright D is the next letter

okay Clark so I'm actually gonna I'm gonna just blow it because i love this movie so much uh i'm gonna say drag me to hell because it's one of my favorite oh yeah that's the perfect one but of course it's the first and uh you know maybe they should make a sequel to that but um this the one i chose is damien oh yes yes yes, good call. And then tease the next letter back to who was next? Jay?

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Terrific guess. But it's quicker to write down Troll 2. This is very true. A, you can do this Dan I know well I don't know if I can think of another

A a sequel a horror movie man I mean but Jay was right it is it's all number twos right and I don't think they made a sequel to Along Came Polly

what about Annabelle 2 oh good one I don't know if there is an Annabelle 2. There definitely is. There are three. But is it called Annabelle? No, it's called Creation. Annabelle. Yeah, because it's all part of some

weird horror universe. Yeah. Conjuring universe. TCU, baby. You give up, Dan? Yeah. I mean, I long came back to what I'd say yeah probably one of the most famous film series

where A is the first letter I know what it is no it's A Nightmare on Elm Street Frederick's Revenge Fred's Revenge No, it's A Nightmare on Elm Street. Frederick's Revenge. Fred's Revenge. This next one's so silly.

It's the letter K. And who is up next? Clark? K. K, yeah. Can you think of any? K horror movies? Yeah. K. K.

Kill. No. What are we spelling, by the way? I thought we were spelling come and get it. Come and take it. Take it. We don't want you to come and get it next month. It's a Houston comedy space called The Secret Group. We want you to come and

take it. Take it. Okay, Kay, I'm going to say Killjoy 2. Oh, that's a good guess. It doesn't have a 2 in the title, but I've been sworn to that this is a sequel second

in the series. Killer Crocodile. Okay. Oh,ile. Okay. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, like some 60s thing, I think. E is the next letter. That would be me. I'm going to go Exorcist 2.

Full title? The Heretic. That is correct. Yes! I mean, Jay cannot lose at this game. Wait a second. There's definitely a V in front of Exorcist. No, Exorcist 2, The Heretic doesn't have a V. It's just Exorcist 2?

Oh, you're talking about the Exorcist. Yeah, so we're doing art, so the doesn't count, right? Because, I mean, it depends on, like, some movies label it alphabetically by E. Just like with A Nightmare on Elm Street, it'll be either A or N. Depends on whoever do it, doesn't it? I stand corrected. I stand corrected.

It is just Exorcist 2. Oh, my God. Yes, Lord. Wild. Look at God work. Yes, look at him work on Halloween. Yeah. Wow. I think, you know they don't

the exorcist to the heretic just gets too bogged down now you want to get there fast let's get there baby let's get there let's get to that heretic before we before we lose interest all right and then i's the next letter and that would be uh dan again yeah but didn't we get out of order wouldn't isn't it clark we might have okay i don't know it also doesn't matter um because the game was won extremely early on i mark was k and then j was east i'm gonna go with i still know what you did last summer ad spelled with the e the word I in that case. I'm kidding. But I know what you did. I know. I was like, wow. I went with this is another one Clark probably

already has on the tip of her tongue. Insidious chapter two. So then I slid off into books for just this one. Book chapter titles. What a fun game that would be.

No one would know it. And then T is the final letter. That would be Clark. And Clark, what do you think? I gotta do it. Art the Clown. Terrifier 2. Yeah, that would have been so clever of me to have been so but you know what i picked instead what the hills have eyes part two

wow works yeah i thought i had to throw in some tough ones like i thought uh you know that uh this would be too easy and i was i was sort. But now, as long as we're here at this juncture, let me ask everybody, we'll start with Dan. Yeah. What is your favorite horror movie sequel? It has to be the second one or further. What's one that you think is superior, maybe even better than the og movie it sprang from

that's a very good question um because i have ones that i love and i don't know if any fall into the second because like i think i don't think jaws 2 is bad but i i love the first more obviously um I don't think Jaws 2 is bad, but I love the first more, obviously. Hmm. Okay, we'll come back to you. Yeah, come back to me. Jay, what do you think? A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Dream Warriors. Okay.

Dream Warriors. It's arguably like you still get Freddy, but this is when Freddy starts playing with his victims, and it adds an extra layer to him. And the way he was murdering kids and this was the greatest thing ever. We got the greatest line. Welcome to primetime bitch is in this movie.

It is always going to be a nightmare on Elm street three to me. Yeah. That one is really, you know, and it was like, there's lots of things to love about the second movie but they sort of like walked away from the some of the things that were set up by the first movie and uh dream warriors was kind of a course correct that was never i never topped in my

opinion i don't think there's a better nightmare on street movie than dream warriors no they didn't like dream like dream master and dream child they're okay but they're like dream child just went real just it was weird but like dream master tried but it never topped dream warriors all right clark what do you think what's a good sequel i gotta i gotta I got a shout out 28 weeks later. Oh, nice. I feel like it's like the aliens to alien, you know, it's different. It's more action oriented. But boy, that cold open is so good. And, you know, the cast is Imogen Poots and Robert Carlyle and Jeremy Renner and Idris Elba.

Like that cast is, oh, and Roseris elba like that cast is oh and rose burn that cast is crazy um so i really really love 28 weeks later and i think it should be considered one of the best horror sequels of all time all right i like it i like it a lot i i'm going you know pretty old school with my like what is probably still my favorite uh zombie movie and of course i've got lots of ones that i like but uh the the sequel to night of the living dead dawn of the dead yeah yeah that's technically the number two that one uh that's that would be my pick dan yes um i i know this is a a little jokey but it has a very soft space in my heart because i think it's so wild but it's every year i watch halloween three season of the witch and i just marvel at what it must have been like to go see that in the theater.

Cause if you see that, if you watch the trailer, which I've also done, there's no indication that Michael Myers is not going to be in this movie. And they also make it seem like, you know, this Halloween, what is the Halloween's coming for everyone or something like that in the

trailer. And I just, it's so bad and weird such a wild left turn that it fascinates me yeah they really uh took a took it in a weird direction and and like for me at the time because i did see it in theaters like oh my god what did you think were you like what you thought i was like i might a child, but this is fucking dumb. I did not like it. And I also,

it's surprisingly headache inducing because that goddamn song that they play over and over again. It's so annoying. And that guy, he's like 60 and that girl's like 22 but also like this is another thing i recently re-watched the thing and i said i decided i wanted to know how old every person was when the thing was made wilford brimley is 47 in that movie yeah 47 yeah wilford brimley like hit the ground playing 65 like he really i really think a lot of it has to do with just like cigarettes i just people aged so much faster back then and nobody cared

about like diet the way that we do now or like health and fitness the way that our society does now just skin care the way that our society does now but yeah um that was guys that look old earlier than other people they lose their hair quicker they get gray quicker or whatever whatever it is so they're like you know i mean steve martin's had gray hair for 60 years now like it's crazy yeah there's a meme of uh i think it's like wilford brimley and cocoon and it's and he's like five years older than paul rudd oh no and it is like my favorite metric that the internet has come up with is to compare paul rudd to people like i think uh paul rudd's older than ted cruz or something like that so they like to put him side by side with ted cruz and i'm like, oh man, but the Brit Wolfer Brimley one is, is definitely one of my faves.

There's a story that Steven Toblosky tells what he started. He started to, he literally had a, like a breakdown in it. Um, when he realized he was losing his hair and he had, he was just starting out as an actor and he had a mentor or, or somebody who was, uh, an actor that he knew that had been around for a long time. And they told him told him yes i know it feels horrible that you are definitely going to lose your hair but you are and he was like 33 or something in time 29 i don't know but he said uh you will be as soon as it's done you're gonna look that age the rest of your life and everybody else everyone else is

gonna look older than you. You will, you will, you'll be able to play this for 40 years, the same character and other people will not be able to do that. And he said, it just gave him a whole bunch of like confidence and solace. And he, and they were right.

I would like to hear how that message was delivered though. Cause at first, when you hear something like that, once your hair finished falling out, cause all your shit is gone. Once it just is gone, you're going to be stuck. Trust me. You don't, once your hair finish falling out, because all your shit is gone, once it just is gone, you're going to be stuck. Trust me. It's going to work out at the end. And you're just sitting there

looking at hair falling out like, how the fuck does this work out? Yeah, and he can still put on a hat or a wig or whatever. The actor with no hair has more options than an actor who has luscious long hair like myself

we're gonna be right back with uh today's most important game after these messages we're back and so far you know jay's been running away with this thing, but it's all just warm up to this point because since he won the first game, Jay gets to go first in our next game. Okay. Yeah. And that's, you know, again, maybe not that great of a perk, but in this case, I think it is, to be honest with you. And I'll explain why. The game we're going to play today to determine our winner is called Weird Algorithm. And we were just talking about internet metrics, and Weird Algorithm uses the internet movie database

and their popularity index to take movie casts you can you can refine a cast list in a movie based on their popularity according to imdb in any given moment so this morning i looked up some films and then i refined the cast list and i wrote down from first you know several down uh in order how people ranked uh you know whatever changes would occur to that uh cast list because obviously you'll hear some of these and go well it's obvious who the star of the movie is and who the most famous person is. But how did they score in the algorithm today stacked up against other people from the movie? And I also tell you who's in the movie. I'll help everybody by describing who's in the movie.

And then you can even share answers in this game. But one person will get to go first in each round. And that person is, I mean, I'll change it up. So a different person goes first in each round. But Jay gets to go first. First. Okay. And then we'll go to Clark and then we'll go to Dan.

But like I said, you can discuss your strategy, you can keep it to yourself, however you want to approach it. But it's a special edition of this game today because I'm calling it Weird Al Gore Rhythm. And all of the movies are scary,omsday climate change uh pandemic that kind of those kind of movies okay so we're going to start with a motion picture that debuted on netflix with uh quite a cast called don't look up okay so jay you've got leo dicaprio jennifer lawrence meryl streep timothy chalamet kate blanchett jonah hill uh oh ariana grandy's in there um what do you think yeah kid cuddy

who do you think out of that batch of people is number one if you get if your answer turns out to be correct and you pick the number one person, you get three points. The number two person, you'd get two points and the number three person, you get one. Everything after that is no points. And the person with the most points after three rounds will be our winner. Okay. But I am ready with a tiebreaker. Hmm. Okay. So this is something I've learned recently when it comes to IMDB from watching my own page because of the TV show that I'm on quick G plug.

So it's like when people start searching you more and more, it pushes your number up when you're more relevant. When don't look up came out, I would have to go and say, number one, even though it sounds weird to say it would be Jennifer Lawrence. When Don't Look Up came out, I would have to go and say number one, even though it sounds weird to say, would be Jennifer Lawrence. This is based on what it says today, not when the movie came out. Okay, so today would be Leo. You think of that cast, Leo's probably the most searched today.

Ooh, okay. Oh, yeah. Damn, today, today, today. Most searched today. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Damn. Today, today, today. Most searched today. Nobody thinks about Timothy Chalamet then. Okay. I'll give you a chance to change

your answer in a sec. What do you think, Clark? Where's your head at with this? So I'm going to say Ariana Grande because she debuted her blonde hair on instagram today oh or yesterday maybe but maybe so i gotta i gotta go with ariana weren't people giving her a hard time like she lost weight or something um oh that's a good question i don't know but i do know her blonde hair is because she's playing glenda and wicked oh right yeah so she's dyed her hair but what's funny is it's just the

same ponytail she always wears it's just it's blonde instead of brown now which i laughed at all right so that's what she thinks, Dan. What do you think? I'm going to go. His, uh, his Netflix documentary was just announced, I think in the past day or a couple of days, I'm going to go with Jonah Hill. Oh, cause he's doing a documentary like about himself and his therapist or something. Yeah. Damn.

Okay. Yeah. Damn. Okay. Yeah. All right. Okay. So Dan's going with Jonah. Do you still like your answer, Jay? No, I don't. No, I don't. What do you want to change yours to? I'm going to go

between one of the newscasters. So it's between either Tyler Perry or Cate Blanchett. Oh, Tyler Perry. I'm going to go. Tyler hasn't done Tyler Perry. Yeah. I'm gonna go Tyler Perry.

Okay. Um, that's what's. All right. So Jay's got Tyler Perry. Clark has got jonah hill or no ariana ground and dan's got jonah hill all right um well the first piece of bad news is for whatever reason maybe it's because she's not doing enough movies and TV overall or maybe people I don't know who's interested

in Wicked at this point she's not even placed she didn't even she's nowhere oh no we should look tomorrow and then unfortunately Jonah he ended up coming in

eighth place in this cast. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'll tie that all together. Okay. And Meryl Streep was number seven and, uh,

Melanie Linsky was number six, Timothy Chalamet, number five, number four was, uh, Jennifer Lawrence. And then, uh,

yeah. So you missed out, everybody missed out on points which means nobody's losing right necessarily uh leonardo di caprio was third so he's he would have been worth one point uh kate blanchett everybody's raving about this movie tar oh yeah how she's just like on her way probably to another Oscar. So she came in number two. And then number one, and this can happen in this game because I'm not going to sit here and give away everything. Uncredited cameo in the film by Chris Evans.

What the fuck? Yeah, it gets Chris Evans the number one spot. Yeah, that was a tricky one. If somebody remembered he was in it and that he's popular, then you might have said that, but nobody did. I forgot he had a cameo in it. Yeah.

But let's move on to the next round. Let's get some points. We'll start with Clark. And then Dan and then dan and then jay and again you know two people can pick the same answer if they want you know it's just it comes down to strategy and whether or not you want to be stuck and having to deal with a tiebreaker at the end uh the film is a steven sodeberg joint called contagion oh god yeah and let me just give you a quick reminder of the types of people who are in contagion uh gwyneth paltrow uh first to die in the film i believe uh matt damon lawrence fishburne jude law and uh kate winslet were all in there amongst uh some other people gosh what do you think is there anybody springing to mind for you clark for who could be so searchable today uh boy no um not of that list you just went over how about

how about how about gwyneth i'll just Gwyneth. She's always in the news talking about nonsense. Goop. Goop. She's a goop. Yeah, she's always talking about goop or something. What do you think, Dan? I'll go Damon. Matt Damon.

Yeah? Yeah. Did he do something? I don't know. Who knows? But I'll just go with Star Power. Hopefully he cracked the top three I see

strategy Jay hmm I'm not gonna pick cowboy Curtis aka Lawrence Fishburne because ain't nobody thinking about him till John Wick 4 comes out Jude Law I just saw an interview where a snippet because I don't you know you never read

full things anymore but I saw someone asked Lawrence Fishburne about, you know, the latest matrix. Cause he's not in matrix revolutions. And somebody asked him about it. And he said that it's not as bad as he thought it was going to be. I guess that's kind of, I guess, I don't know if that's nice or I guess I don't know if that's nice or mean I don't know and then they were like did you sadly you weren't in it and he's like

I don't care I'm fine not being in it I think he probably was just tired of how the work that must go into those movies like the fight choreography and stuff the training and everything yeah exhausting

and he's like 87 years old because black don't crack. But like, so he probably can't keep doing it. Nobody's looking for Jude Law. Nobody can be looking for Jude Law in this day and age unless Jude Law gets arrested. I don't think there's anything looking for Jude Law. So I'm going to go.

I'm going to go with Dan and go Matt Damon. Right. Sharia Law is more popular than Jude Law. I'm going to go with Dan and go Matt Damon. Right? Sharia law is more popular than Jude Law. Oh, no. I always think of when Sean Penn came out at the Oscars, it was like,

Jude Law is one of our finest actors. After somebody made a joke about him, Chris Rock made a joke. He's mad because Chris Rock made a joke about him. I know. Like of all people. Like, people get mad at Chris Rock's jokes. At the Oscars, especially.

At the Oscars, yeah. Why are you making jokes about me at the Oscars? Well, because I'm a comedian, and that's what the Oscars have always done. Like nobody got mad at Bob Hope or Billy Crystal. Or maybe they did. Maybe it was, you it was more private back then okay

so who'd we pick? did everybody pick one? yeah we were mad at Damon oh you're sharing Damon and Clark is going with Gwyneth alright we're all locked in here's how it shook out

5th place Jennifer Lawrence she needs to work on this shit 4th place in. Here's how it shook out. Fifth place, Jennifer Lawrence. She needs to work on this shit. Fourth place, because she's got a new movie coming out even, I think. Fourth place is Jude Law. That was accurately

figured. One of our finest actors. An actor I neglected to mention, I thought if somebody remembers that he's in it and how popular he continues to be, maybe they will mention Brian Cranston. Oh. Yeah, he is number three.

Kate Winslet managed to get the two slot. I don't know what she's up to, but, you know, good for her because she's terrific in that mayor of Easttown, even though I always thought mayor was like she was the mayor. Mayor, mayor, but her name's just mayor. And yeah, you

guys did it. Number one, Matt Damon. Nice. Nice. So Dan gets to go first in this third round and it's a good one uh the motion picture is the core i love this movie oh my god that's the uh the classic where uh you know hey things aren't going so great here Earth. Let's dig to the middle of it to solve our problem. The core of the Earth has stopped,

and you got Aaron Eckhart, Dilroy Lindo, Hillary Swank all going, ah, everybody's a great movie. Yeah, they're in an Earth ship. Yeah. Traveling through magma or whatever the hell it is. Traveling through magma or whatever the hell it is. We got Stanley Tucci, DJ Qualls, Aaron Eckhart, Richard Jenkins, Alfre Woodard, the aforementioned Hillary Swank, and Delroy Lindo.

Who do you think, Dan, out of that crew, daring brave crew hot off the sadness that is our society wanting to watch a documentary reenactment of a serial killer I'm going to go Richard Jenkins oh cause he plays Dahmer he's his dad

he's Dahmer's daddy how is he depicted in it you know that happened some of those Dahmer's daddy? Yeah. How is he depicted in it? Is he the old player? You know, that happened some of those killings and where Dahmer would kind of cruise around was very close to where I grew up.

I was very familiar with the story and everything. So I think that, just with not really my vibe, I don't think I made it past the third episode. I'm good. I'm good with this. So I don't know how't think i made it past the third episode and i thought i'm good i'm good with this so i don't know how he ends up being depicted early on he seemed to be a dad who realized his kid was into roadkill and wanted to like hope he would get become a vet or taxidermist

so they would like go pick up dead animals and then cut them up together which he probably thought at the time was a real fun idea and then uh oh god i think he was a little cold i saw a scene where dahmer tries to come out to him and he shoots it down real quick which again is probably just uh dahmer's version of the story but yeah even the movie's version like the story it's been proven time and again now lately that you can just say this is the story of this real thing and then just say whatever bullshit you want to say like it's just happening in every movie now that's based on a true thing yeah they just change whatever they change whatever they want yeah uh it's frustrating but so you're going richard jenkins because of that that night yeah i feel like people just maybe searched him a lot lately. Well, okay.

So who does that leave? Jay, did you say? No, I was, now that Dan brought it up, because that would make sense, because my other choice was going to be Stanley Tucci, because people just randomly look up what Stanley Tucci is doing, right? Because he pops up in any and everything. Every time you look around, it's just, damn, here goes Stanley Tucci. Yeah, he's on

CNN. He's on a news channel just cruising around Europe on a Vespa enjoying pasta. That's my number one. That's my choice. Stanley Tucci. He's looking for the perfect pasta in Italy or some shit. All right, so you're

going Tucci? Yep. And what do you think, Clark. All right. So you're going to Chi? Yep. And what do you think, Clark? All right. I'm going to go with Hillary Swank. Oh, yeah. Hot new TV show. He's got a TV show. That is correct.

And so I'm like, I, you know, I'm still kicking myself for not going Winslet in the last round. There was something that was telling me to do it, but I was trying to outsmart the game. I know that's the, that's, what's tricky about this game is even people that know stuff, uh, you know, just don't make the right choices because people who know stuff making bad choices. It's intended to be tricky. But I do want to congratulate the three of you on this final round because the three people you named are the top three. DJ Qualls did not make that cut. Wow.

Poor DJ. Oh, and Hillary's new show is called Alaska something isn't that the one where she's like Alaska Daily yeah that's what she's in yeah she plays like there's like a murder or something and you know in Alaska

they just are like don't worry about it and she's like no I'm gonna figure it out um so uh coming in at number three it's the tooch stanley toochie that's worth one more point so jay that brings you to four points and then uh number two is the swankster, Hillary Swank. So Clark is on the board with two points. But alas, Dan was so right with Richard Jenkins because he's number one and worth three points.

So that brings Dan to a total of six. And Dan, you've done it again. Wow. Wow. Well done. Well done, sir. well done sir congratulations Dan you get to do your plugs first that's pretty much all you

win that and the option of coming back but what do you want to do for your plugs today we talked about it earlier come and see me November 17th 18th 19th and 20th at the come and take it comedy festival in houston texas on the 17th i'm doing like a comedy bingo show where we'll also raise

money for local animal shelters food banks and um uh one more thing oh big brothers big sisters of america and then uh rory scoble and i are doing a live version of our podcast pen pals on friday night i'm headlining at 10 PM on Saturday night. And then I believe Sunday Douglas movies with, with your own Doug Benson plus a whole bunch of other sets and I'll be jumping around and saying hi and stuff like that. So that's all in Houston. You can go to a,

they have a website or just go to danielvankirk.com. Yeah. Um, yeah, I've got I'm doing Wide World of Doug's there and Doug Loves Movies and great guests on both of those shows

and I think they're announced but I you know this is one of those festivals where we got all fired up for it and then it ended up getting postponed and so now we're going back in same with I was supposed to do SF Sketch Fest in San Francisco last January,

and it got postponed by a year. So that's still happening this January, and that'll include a Douglas movies and a couple of Benson movie interruptions. And I'll plug that more as we get closer to the date. Thank you, Dan Van Kirk. Good job. Thanks buddy. Can't wait to see you in Houston. And of course, we'll see you back here on this show very soon. Like, you know,

and a few I'll talk to you off, off, off camera. Great. What camera Jay Washington, what a delightful, delightful guest you were today. today you you knew more than anybody so i'm sorry it didn't work out oh that's typical for black people we do a lot of work and we don't get no credit yeah it's cool it's cool i'm used to it now you just gotta yeah you gotta pack up your knives now i gotta treat it like gordon rams on season three. I'm one of the chefs on Hell's Kitchen. Okay, cool. Cool. This was so fun. And we got to get you on, you know, a live audience episode here in Los Angeles sometime soon.

Because, you know, I know you're not going to crack under that pressure. Absolutely not. Yeah. And you'll have something to say, you'll know, you'll know about the Halloweenlloween films yes i don't know if that'll come up in november or december but we'll see what would you like to uh plug and promote sure everybody can follow me on twitter instagram and tiktok and mr j washington that's mr jay you should really know how to spell washington my podcast the mad titan podcast where i get you caught up on all the things happening in the Marvel and DC

live action cinematic universes. It is barbershop talk for nerds. And I am a part of American gigolo. I'm a recurring cast member on Showtime. So check that out. By the time this comes out, the season finale will be out. You can catch me again in episodes two, three and episode eight. So that's pretty much it right there. And I mean, as far as standup shows, I post them all on my Instagram. It's way too many. I haven't updated my website. So follow me on Instagram for all that. And that's the show that I haven't watched any of it yet,

but apparently Wayne Brady is a place kind of a CD character. Yes, he does. Yes, he does. It's kind of extension of his bit on Chappelle's show I love Wade Brady so I'm very excited to see that and to see you in it and that's on Showtime right? Yes indeed yeah with John Bernthal who's a terrific actor great dude great dude okay Clark Wolf what do you got to plug?

You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Clark Wolf, Clark with the knee, Wolf with the knee. And I did want to give a little shout out if they're still listening to a couple of folks who are working or volunteering at beyond fest in Los Angeles. I was checking in and I was wearing a mask and I said, yeah, it's last name's Wolf first name Clark. And they were like, we know who you are. We listen to Doug loves movies.

Your voice sounds exactly the same in person, which made me laugh so hard. I didn't catch their names, but it was very sweet. So they're listening. Hello. And thank you for a great beyond fest. Thank you all for a great Doug Lo's Movies Scary Movie Festival edition

show. My guests once again are Clark Wolf, Daniel Van Kirk, and Jay Washington. As always, I thought you'd like to keep this.

Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.