Doug Loves Movies - Dana Gould and Steve Agee Guest

Episode Date: January 25, 2009

Doug discusses the inauguration with guests Dana Gould ('The Simpsons') and Steve Agee ('The Sarah Silverman Program').See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Happy Inauguration Day everybody! Oh my god! Happy Inauguration Day, everybody! Oh my God! This is gonna, you know, people will be listening to this a few days from now, maybe years from now.

But today is, we're taping this on Inauguration Day at the UCB Theater before Comedy Death Ray, as we always do. And it was a good inauguration, right? It's probably the first one any of us has ever actually watched. Didn't care when it happened four years ago. Or wait, when you're already president, do they do an inauguration when you have a second term? They did? The whole deal? Wow.

I slept in that day. I missed that. I saw Defiance the other day, and basically it's Ewoks fighting bad guys while living in the forest. I mean Jews. I'm sorry. I meant Jews. All right.

Let's bring the guests out. I got a brand new version of the Leonard Maltin game that we're going to play. Not brand new, but I tweaked the rules a little bit on the Leonard Maltin game, so I'm excited about getting to that. And as always, we're going to run a tight ship here. It's going to be a half hour so we can get Comedy Death Race started in its proper time. So these two guys I'm going to bring out here are very funny gentlemen. The first

one plays a giant gay on TV. You know him from the Sarah Silverman program. Please welcome Steve Agee, everybody. Steve Agee is here. Might as well take that one. They all thought you were going to say

Brian Posehn. I can hear the excitement and then Whenever I have Sarah Silverman on this show Or any other show that I do, The Benson Interruption I always say You know this next person from the Sarah Silverman program Sarah Silverman Because that's a retarded way to

It sounds like you're going to bring out anybody but her When you say it that way But I hope no one thought this was going to be Brian Posehn. I should have said the gayer guy of the two. Right? You're a little bit more the happier one. Yeah, that's me. And also, if you listen to the Adam Carolla radio show, which I do whenever I'm driving around in Los Angeles or lots of other cities on this side of the country,

you know this guy does an awesome Huell Hauser impression on there. Dana Gould is here, everybody. Give it up for Dana Gould. Is that your water? What? Is that your water? That's mine.

Yeah, have a seat right there. And you can take the mic out of the thing if it's easier to talk into that way. Here's my... This is how I keep... What? I always feel like if you're testifying before Congress, you just lean into the mic. Yes.

Yes, sir. Yeah, if at any point you want to have one of your answers whispered into the other guy's ear and then lean in and say into the microphone, you can do that. It's technically she-male. So why were you going to Glorious Granny's?

That's my question. Because that's how I set up the joke. By saying that I'm planning to go to that place and then I end up at that other one. Keep the magic in the hat, Doug. I don't know what I was doing in the first place. You know what they say. If 100 monkeys type 100 URLs,

eventually you'll end up at Shakespeare.com. Bam! Wow. That was beautiful. That was pretty good. Yeah, I was glad I was here for that I'm proud of myself You set it up Dana

You deserve 80% of the credit I set a nice table So anything you guys Want to say about Inauguration day Inauguration gay For Steve of course Nice

It was fabulous Have you ever gone on Any kind of talk show Or radio show or anything where they make something about the whole gay thing and then you get defensive? Yeah, for this last season, I had to do a whole, you do the radio tour, you get up at 6 in the morning

and then they patch you through to 20 stations and everyone had a gay joke. I don't remember any. Yeah, and you were always just like, I'm not really gay. But did you get mad? They're like, I don't remember any. Because I was asleep. I'm not really gay. Did you get mad? I'm not really gay.

That really sounds like you're gay. If you get overly defensive about it. I don't do that. I don't get defensive. That's called the Hal Sparks I don't know another word to say after those first two words. The Hal Sparks Syndrome. That's what I meant to say. those first two words. The housemarque syndrome. That's what I meant to say. Right, right.

Where, like, when he was on Queer as Folk, he'd go on talk shows and get mad at the host for asking questions about playing a gay guy. I'm sorry, the only time I see you is when you're naked in bed kissing a dude. Yeah. Why did I draw that conclusion? How dare you? Yeah. So, I...

Here's an... I have an observation about the inauguration. Awesome. I like that during the campaign, they were always like, don't say Hussein. And they would always crap on people. They were going, Barack Hussein Obama. We're going to find out the truth about Barack Hussein Obama. And now he just says it. I think he should hit it even harder. Yeah. He should change his

name to Hussein O'Baby Raper. And just... I want him to do well, but I also want to be able to have jokes. Yeah. Yeah, well that's the thing they were saying in the media is that Chris Rock has announced

That Barack Obama Isn't a funny topic And then to support his point Oh, is he the mayor of comedy? I didn't get the memo Yeah, he said, well I think he's just trying to cop out For himself Like, you know, oh I'm not going to be making jokes about that That's not funny

But you can make jokes about Barack Obama and still be a supporter of him Exactly, you got one? Yeah, let's hear it i want him to do well but i hope as a comedian that i i there's something for me to get some feed off of like you know maybe he could develop a harmless tick like you know when things go good he falls into the habit of saying ubi doobie just something for me you know something for me to i would do that to his face. Ooby dooby. Yeah, you know. And you'd say that about any of the previous presidents. It doesn't matter that he's black. I wrote that joke hoping John Anderson would win in 1980.

Didn't he run on the ooby dooby chicken? Wasn't that his campaign platform? Other political words? Oobus doobus dominoobus. You know, something. See, dominoobas. You know, something. See, I was asking today. Or he's always

walking around eating a wedge of pie with no fork or knife or plate. Just some, and then we go, what's with the pie?

Have you seen Barack Obama and the pie? You know, people make fun of it harmlessly. I was wondering if it's still cool

for me to say, as I always do around three o'clock in the afternoon, it's time for my niggity nap. Is that... You can't do that anymore. I can still say that, can't I? I can't still say that? You can't do that anymore.

It means something totally different. I think to play it safe, niggardly should no longer mean cheap. It should just be cheap. Just say cheap. Yeah, I don't know what's going on in our way to say niggardly should no longer mean cheap. It should just be cheap. Just say cheap. Yeah, I don't know what's going on in their way to say niggardly. Yeah, yeah. But it is in the dictionary.

N-I-G-G-A-R-D-L-Y, right? Niggard. N-wordly. Yeah, right. That's where we should go with it. That's right. Let's do the whole show without talking about movies. Yeah.

I'm just too sane in the membrane today. N-wordly. They called him Barack H. in one of the moments today when they were introducing him or something. Did you see the concert Sunday? No. Did anybody hear? No. We saw the pictures of it on your phone backstage. You had a great seat.

Because I was there. Yeah. Dana had a great seat, you guys. He was in Lincoln's lap. I was in Lincoln's lap. Pretty much. I was up on the stage. Bruce Springsteen walked right past me. Didn't stop and say the comedic voice of our generation, Dana Gould?

No. What the fuck? No, but to his credit, John Cafferty of John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band says that all the time. His head, Bruce Springsteen's head is so big he looks like his own Mardi Gras float.

He looks like it should be papier-mâché. He's weird., he looks like his own Mardi Gras float. He looks like it should be paper mache. He's weird. He has a weird little body, but he's also really buff. He really works out. Weird little body, super buff, massive head. Giant head doll. As Jon Stewart once said about Ted Kennedy, his head looks like a container for a head.

Ted Kennedy is okay, you guys, by the way. Yeah, it's okay. He's doing all right, and he's penciling in another seizure for a few weeks from now. Perhaps at the correspondent's dinner. I said seize the day. Not seize today. Not seizure the day. You know that common expression expression Do you guys have any

Do you guys have any favorite political movies As long as it's a political day And a political episode All the President's Men is a fantastic movie That's a good one Seven Days in May One of my favorite movies Did you see the Frost Nixon?

I did see the Frost Nixon What did you think of that? I'm not one to say, because I love... I'm not going to drag my own opinion into this. No, I'm a Nixon freak, so that movie was made for me. Oh, so you loved it. Yeah, I loved it. I loved it.

But even though you knew every... I went to New York to see the play. Yeah, yeah. Just to see the play. I would have liked to have seen the play. I didn't know any of that stuff before I saw the movie. Really? But it's not a big story.

Guy does interview. I know. And the whole crux of the movie is, will we finish this interview? Yeah. Remember the movie? Is Kevin Bacon going to interfere more while we try to do this interview?

Remember the movie Basketball? Yeah, sure do. The big plot contrivance of Basketball was they're going to change the rules of basketball. Yeah. You know, I have to do the, you know,

I can't sell that in a meeting. I can throw it out on my head. But it was interesting. Basketball was fine the way it was. Yeah, you don't need to change it. It was fine. It was fine as a thing. Nobody knew what it was at all.

And they ruined it by making a movie about it. I remember when black people couldn't even play basketball. Remember, there was the Negro League. The Negro Basketball Leagues. And their pay was quite n-wordly. Nice bring it back. Thank you. Yes, it's Steve's joke from earlier.

Come in. It's like somebody eats Steve's joke from earlier. No thanks, I just had to move the car. All this goddamn neighborhood with the parking zones. I got a nice spot out front down by the Vista Theater. Oh, that's a good spot.

I just park in the Cafe 101 lot. Shh. No, you don't. That's a long line. Don't tell anyone. It's not that far. Have you ever seen Seven Days in May?

Seven Days in May is the what's it about? John Frankenheimer directed it. No, it's Rod Serling wrote it. John Frankenheimer directed it and it's about, it was a book, about a military coup. Oh, it's fiction. It sounds like a documentary. Military coup of the government of the United States made

during the Kennedy administration because they actually thought that that might happen because he was so at odds with the military. And Burt Lancaster is in it, and Burt Lancaster, as ever, out of his... Can you swear on a podcast? Yes, you can. Out of his fucking gourd. He's just crazy.

Oh, you can't say gourd, though. Oh, sure. I'll give you the whole list of rules if you come back. Yeah, if you rebook this, you'll get a list of words to avoid. Burr Lancaster, in his life, was crazy. I know a guy that had to drive him from a movie set to L.A. They were in Albuquerque. His last movie, Old Gringo.

No, that was Gregory Peck. One of his last movies. My friend had to drive him. There was a storm. They couldn't fly. He had to get back. all right so it's like 12 hours or something you're gonna drive he's gonna sleep in the back seat and he gets in the car and pert lancaster starts the car and for me it all started in musical and just like told him his goddamn life story all i can't believe i'm in a car bur Burt Lancaster, and I hate him.

Wow. When I was in my late teens, early 20s, I used to sneak into the Oscars. Back in the day, security wasn't as tight. If you wore a tuxedo, people thought you belonged there. You were there for best supporting little boy in a tuxedo? We would put all the tuxedos and show up down there and sneak in. That's not true. It's absolutely true.

One time I rode in the elevator from the stage to the press level with William Hurt holding his Oscar, Marlee Matlin, who was his girlfriend but will win the following year, and Sidney Pollack, who had two for Out of Africa. That was 1985. Yeah, William Hurt said to Sidney Pollack, hey, do you want me to hang on to one of those for you? And everybody laughed.

Even Marlee Matlin, so we know what a phony she is now. Shut up! You don't know what he said! Shut up! Did you know she's the voice of Chewbacca? I just found that out. Whoa, no way. I just found out she does Chewbacca.

And every tugboat. Every tugboat. All those tugboat movies. She goes in once a year to the sound studio in Burbank where I do some work and she records all the tugboat hoots. But for anybody who's following this conversation,

the reason I brought up the Oscar thing is because Burt Lancaster was there that year and I was walking around near the red carpet and I think he winked at me. I think he looked right at me and gave me a nice wink. How are you, son? Yeah, very old school

movie star but also probably a queen that was out fishing around for some action. I'm going to take you back to my hotel, Doug. No thanks, Bert. And what I'm going to do... A cookie full of arsenic. Yeah, that's right. I'd hate to take a bite out of you, but I'm gonna. Oh, shit.

So, Steve, do you have any favorite political movies? I've actually never seen a movie before in my life. Any movies. You couldn't bring that up when I called you and said you... Oh, wait. Frost Nixon. Dana whispered that. That joke really won't play on the podcast.

It was like a sketch. I can't think of any presidential movie I've seen other than Frost-Nixon. You've seen Nixon? And the sequel to Nixon, Frost-Nixon. Then you're in for a very exciting round of Leonard Walton. I'll still probably do good at this. And next should be Frost-Predator. You're in the jungle and you are invisible.

You're in the jungle and you are invisible That'd be awesome if David Frost would take on a series of Other classic characters Classic He's still alive right David Frost He is alive God love him God love him indeed Frost Predator that was a funny joke

Somebody get Mad TV on the phone Too late I did actually I'd love him indeed. Frost Predator. That was a funny joke. Somebody get Mad TV on the phone. Oh. Too late. Did you hear they got canceled? I did, actually. I have another great Mad... Do you ever walk around and think, oh, that's only good for a Mad TV sketch?

When I was at that stupid concert, I saw the Marine Marching Band walks by, and I go, that's a funny sketch. This is your violin! It may save your life! That's the Marine Marching Band drill instructor. That's good for Matt TV. That's fun. Yeah.

I didn't say here. Why not SNL? Why can't you give it to them? That wouldn't work for them. They're a better show. So whenever you think of a subpar idea for a sketch, I always think of sketches where like, what if Al Pacino was fat? Or what if George Bush was fat?

Let's get Frank Caliendo and see what happens. You know what I mean? Remember the old days, copycats? I remember the copycats. Where the fat guys would do impressions of fat guys and the thin guys would do the thin guys. Frank Caliendo slips in there like,

everybody's fat when I do them. It's just how it's going to be. I'd even rather see a thin guy do it. Tom Hanks at the end of Philadelphia. Yeah. By the way, Marley and Me had more death in it than Philadelphia. I don't know if you've seen that movie yet. I haven't seen it.

Don't take your little girls to see it. I took my daughters to see it, thinking, oh, a lovable movie about a dog with a Christmas bow. And then, after the miscarriage, the dog started to die. Oh, Jesus. It was awesome. Wait, are you talking about this? Are you sure you didn't see Revolutionary Road? No.

My four-year-old loved Revolutionary Road. Their wives were empty before they were married, Dad. I know, sweetie. I know. I get what it is. It's an existential crisis. I know. I know.

So, Dana, the Leonard Maltin game was invented by me and Brian Posehn and some of our other friends. And essentially what we do is we read the cast list from a movie, from the most obscure actor up to the most known actor or the lead. And the idea is, in my new twist, is we're going to play it Name That Tune style, where I will tell you the year the movie was released, the genre, and a clue. And then you guys go back and forth. We'll start with Steve on this first one. You guys go back and forth saying how many names you think you can get the movie in,

considering I'm going to start from the least known person. I'll tell you how many names are listed here in the land. How way down do they go? They go pretty far. Like this first one has 13 names are listed in the Len Moulton book, and it's from 1993. And all the movies are political in this edition since it's inauguration day.

Okay. And 1993, 13 names. And the clue is it's supposed to be a comedy. I can name that movie in 13 names. I can name

I can name that movie in one name. Whoa! Dana Gould stepping up. Do you really need to hear the one name? Can I guess based on your description? Yeah. Dave. Dave is correct! Nice work! You had me with Gould.

But what I heard's supposed. Right? Because that was like a comedy, right? But it's not funny at all. It's engaging, but it's not funny. And it's also... I think there was a movie that just came out that's the same movie.

Swing Vote? No. Meet the Spartans? I'll think of it. Guess really wrong names. Maybe Benjamin Button is kind of the same movie. No, that's Forrest Gump. That's Forrest Gump.

You know, there's this guy who's, he came out of the vagina, an old man, and he's growing into a baby. Isn't that curious? Like, what a stupid word to use to describe his case. Your case is really curious. No, it's fucking crazy. The creepy, the creepy case.

The creepy case of Benji B. Sure job. The chilling tale of Benjamin Dunn. George Meyer, who's a writer on The Simpsons, had the funniest thing about the movie Minority Report. Behind the scenes dropper. Yeah. Had the funniest thing about Minority Report.

What's the movie about? A report. What kind of report? A Minority Report. Oh, boy! I'm in. Yeah. That sounds great.

All right. Next one. Dan has one point. Steve has zero. We're playing to two. And then let's discuss Leonard Maltin's hair. There might not be time for that. Which looks like drawing of hair.

It looks like his hair was drawn? It looks like my kids drawn his hair off. He's super into animation, and he wrote a whole book about Mickey Mouse. Yeah, I saw that stupid video. It was great. He told the story of how Mickey lost two of his fingers. You know, you walk into a bar with a wealth of Mickey Mouse

information, your night will be an avalanche of pussies. He got into some trouble with, he had some money problems. That's why Mickey's missing a couple fingers. Okay, this is from 2000. And for some reason it was a German and United States co-production

That's an extra clue No, that's a horrible clue Political again And this one was written and directed By the same person It was a writer-director-auteur situation And it was from 2000 And there's nine names

Dana, you go first How many can you do it in? Five. Dana says five names. I can name that in ten names. One of those being the name of the movie. You have to say... The movie?

Name that movie. You get egg rolls. Dana, name that. You should try to underbid him a little bit. Okay, I can name that in four names. Wow, you went way too far for someone with no confidence. Suddenly you're going balls out.

Well, he said five, right? You're really forcing him. Oh yeah, he did say five. I was thinking he said nine. I was like, Steve, good for you. So it's the year 2000 and Steve says he can do it in four yeah name that movie i'd say 2000 i was agoraphobic and didn't leave my house for

six months really yeah i've done that before there's no way you're gonna go i was in 91 and these are four strong names too uh-oh beefy I can picture them all in my head. They're not famous names but they're strong names. It's German and American. Sturred Feltzbar. That's a terrible clue.

Don't list that clue. Steel. How does this clue fit you? Len Walton says it's timely and engrossing. That could be

anything. Babe. Pig in the city. Timely and engrossing. Today's episode of I Love Movies is brought to you by Mango. Mango? Fuck, I wish there was editing on this show.

Today's episode is brought to you by Mag... God, I can't even fucking say it. Magno Sponge. Ooh. Magno Sponge. That's it. I thought they stopped making those. Magno Sponge. Ooh. Magno Sponge. That's it. I thought they stopped making those. Magno Sponge.

The combination sponge and... Can't say anything right. The combination sponge and magna that Roger Ebert calls compelling and absorbing. Okay. That's a long way to go. Yeah. Totally not worth it. Compelling and necessary.

That's the other one. Timely and necessary. Mariel Hemingway. Philip Baker Hall Saul Rubinick And William Peterson One, two, three, four Mariel Hemingway

Five, six, five names remaining Philip Baker Hall? Now Dana's thinking about this like he's going to help But you win if he doesn't get this, Steve about this like he's going to help. But you win if he doesn't get this, Steve. Well, I'm not going to get it. Is it... It's 127 minutes long. What's the difference between Philip Baker Hall and Philip Seymour Hoffman?

Who's Philip Baker Hall? One of them Caliendo does a great impression of Can you see it? It doesn't matter if you see it No, I didn't even read it I don't have my cheaters Is it Do you really have a guess?

We gotta go The Maltese Falcon I have no idea. I have no idea. Dana, yell it out as soon as you know it. I'm just going to read the rest of the names, and you lose, Steve. Well, name one more and see if he gets it.

Yeah, why not? Sam Elliott. Oh, it's... He shaved his mustache in that movie, right? I know it's... I bet he did. Oh! Oh, shit. It was political. He was in a helicopter a lot? I bet he did. Oh, shit.

It was political. He was in a helicopter a lot with a guy. Yeah. Oh, shit. Christian Slater. Some guy in the audience. Pump up the volume to Operation Christmas. Gary Oldman.

Air Force. No. No? No. No. It's a one-word title, right? Jeff Bridges. Two words if you count the... Oh, and I know the other name. I know the woman.

It's a woman. Top build. It's Glenn Close, right? Glenn Close. No, it's the other one. Meryl Streep. It's another one that's like Glenn Close. Yeah, it's Meryl Streep.

It's another one. It's Meryl Harpy. That's the other one that every interview, there's just no good rules for an older. Yeah, if she looks like she talks like this. I know the movie. Ah, shit. She essentially played the same part in Death Race and The Bourne. One of those. She did The Bourne.

The last Bourne. Joan Allen. Joan Allen. The Insider. That's close. I know who made it. I know who wrote and directed it. Yeah, Rod Lurie. Yeah, that dipshit from NPR. Oh my god.

I picked this movie because he's a friend of mine. He listens to every episode of your podcast. Because my podcast is so political. It's the one where they dig up her fucking sexual past. Yes, and here's the thing about that movie. But what is she? Does she have a shot?

Do you think she's got a chance? Is she a... Contender. Contender! That's right! Now we've got to do a tiebreaker. Hurry, hurry! We need a tiebreaker.

But the point of that movie, they reveal at the end that she wasn't even the person. And so she made them go, which proves that she would be a horrible president. I almost drove the train off the tracks on principle. Good, you should be in charge of weapons. Right. I don't understand any of this. You slack-jawed. Let's hear it for my guests, Steve Agee and Dana Gould.

Thanks for coming on, guys. And as always, Willem Dafoe is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in

his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!