Doug Loves Movies - Danny Trejo, Joseph Mazzello and Josh Wolf guest

Episode Date: July 6, 2016

Back at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes actors Danny Trejo and Joseph Mazzello, and comic Josh Wolf to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, today's episode is brought to you in part by Spotify's new Discover Weekly feature. Discover Weekly allows you to lose yourself every week in the thrill of a new music discovery. Your Discover Weekly playlist is 30 songs you didn't know you loved yet. You get a brand new unique playlist every Monday, like a weekly birthday present just for you. Go to Spotify.com slash Discover Weekly right now to get your playlist. Today's episode is also brought to you in part by IFC Films, Amazon Studios, and Wiener Dog, the new film from the director of Welcome to the Dollhouse and Happiness. I haven't seen it yet, but I can't wait

because it's got Greta Gerwig, Danny DeVito, Ellen Burstyn, Julie Delpy, and Joshua Mamet in the story about a wayward, adorable dachshund who passes from oddball owner to oddball owner, including the world's worst mom. I'm guessing that's maybe Ellen Burstyn, a down-on-his-luck screenwriter, gotta be DeVito, and the grown-up incarnation of Welcome to Dollhouse's Don Wiener,

whose dysfunctional lives are all impacted by the adorably stoic pooch. Wiener Dog is in select theaters now. Enjoy the show! Dog hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see because Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. They weren't kidding about it. There's new lights in here.

It's different. But I'll adjust. I'm all right with it. My name is Doug, and I love movies. Yes, I love movies. Coming to you from our original home, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, Franklin Avenue location.

It's Tuesday, July 5th, 2016. May I see your name tags? Is it possible to turn the house lights up for that? Oh, there you go. You and me and Ashley instead of Dupree. But it's not a poster

from the movie. It's like a light, it's a small light-up marquee in your hand, and it's got popcorn and a camera on there. Great description, Doug. The Mark Knight. I just love how you just drew that on a big piece of white paper. It's a very nice Batman logo. You couldn't be bothered to make it perfectly dark.

You just went a little nuts with the magic marker on it and called it a day. Might even go outside the lines in a couple spots, maybe. No, no, you're in the lines. The Brian King is another piece of artwork. You guys are really creating stuff here.

This is a great, I guess it's an L.A. thing. No, people do it everywhere. What the fuck am I talking about? But the Brian King, it's a baby me being held up by the which I don't know why the

lions give their baby to a monkey but in the movie but then below the cliff there, there's a bunch of tiny little cameras with legs running around. So that's, you were high when you did that, I'm pretty sure. You were tripping on something. Our friend Nate is back with his dream lineup in little figurines that he made.

Is that a good word for it, figurines? Okay, but you said you're going to be back one more time next week? All right, so next week when he comes in and brings out the show on Monday, July 11th I'm going to smash it with my goddamn feet. I'm going to make him watch me smash it and hopefully he'll cry or something. Doug Plugs, Columbus, Ohio

this Saturday at 4.20. Oh, thanks for bringing your name tags. Still holding them up where you going sneaky Pete did I say Columbus Ohio yes I did this Saturday at 420 at the funny bone should be a wilder

one if you know what I'm saying Washington DC I'm doing a dabs day show at the Improv this Sunday and I don't know why I brought it up because there's like three tickets left or something like that so a couple and a loner

are going to get those and Doug Loves Movies is back in Los Angeles on Monday, July 11th as I already mentioned at 8.30 over at the other UCB on Sunset from the corrections department I guess when discussing the sad passing of Anton Yelchin

on Douglas movies, I said that he played Scotty in the Star Trek movies. And such restraint on the part of all the listeners to not complain to the corrections department. But finally, one guy had to do it today. He had to say that he played, you know, Chekhov and that Simon Pegg, of course, plays Scotty. And I think most people didn't correct me because they just knew that I was thinking

I was saying Scotty. I mean Chekhov. You know what I mean. Anyway, I'm sorry to have mixed anything up and I promise I'll try not to do it again, and may the force be with you. In the prize bag, I didn't know if you guys would get that.

It's a little slow burn on that one. In the prize bag, which is a delightful, you know, I don't appreciate the gap when I go in to buy just some socks you just toss it in a baby gap bag that i gotta walk around with but it does make a lovely gift bag uh i've got a pipe from peacemaker in here i've got uh some uh a dvd of a motion picture called wristist Cutters, A Love Story.

A film by Goran Dukic. Really? Also another movie that got sent to me a few years ago for consideration. Even though I don't really vote for anything. A Dangerous Method. Remember that? That was a weird ass movie.

Also a CD called The New Jack Hippies, 13 Original Songs About Weed. From the Homegrown Collective, wherever that is, wherever I picked that up. And from my personal VHS collection, we've got an episode of a reality show that was called Pop Stars

and Gilmore Girls. An episode entitled Forgiveness and Stuff. Because those girls had fun even with the titles of the episodes. Plus, we're going to have whatever treasures are brought here by my guests tonight. I'm very excited about these three dudes.

Please give a big warm welcome to Joe Mazzello, Josh Wolfe, and Danny Trejo. Oh! Sit wherever you'd like, guys. Welcome, everybody. Oh, yeah, hi hi Wow is right Let's say hi to him first everybody It's Machete himself Badass Danny Trejo Yeah, I went from being the baddest guy on the planet

Machete to Marsha Brady in one love That Marsha Brady spot Oh my goodness That is guy on the planet machete to Marsha Brady in one love. That Marsha Brady spot. Oh, my goodness. That is good stuff. I wonder who pitched that in the room, too. You know who we should get? Danny Drayhoff.

Fuck you. We'll never do that. They got some real extreme types in those ads. To show contrast. My agent called me up and said hey we got a Super Bowl commercial and that is like

that's like the golden fleece to to an actor that's more people watch the Super Bowl than the Oscars and uh

and so I go oh awesome he said one problem what's that you have to be Marsha Brady I said what and then

then she said what they were going to pay me. Oh, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Yeah, you're in. Yeah, that's, you know, your motivation's not difficult to figure out. Say Marsha three times, get the cash. And then when I found out Steve Buscemi was going to be with me saying, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, yeah, we're in. Okay.

Worked out pretty good for you guys. I think you're going to do well. Yeah. Is that your prediction? Yeah. We'll try it. I think things are looking up for Danny. You think he's going to do okay?

Yeah. Wow, that's a bull. Check this out, you guys. 316 credits on IMDb for mr danny trejo i i have to confess i gotta confess a lot of those are like student films no they're not a lot of those a lot of them were like they bought me lunch you know hey daddy do you want a sandwich first time director you know

how do you say no to some kid that's trying to you know make it in the film industry and he's like in college and hey

will you do this my agent will call me up and say they'll buy you lunch and pay for your gas where am I going to Van Nuys I live in North Hollywood

the hell is right here yeah is that all it takes I'm sorry is that all it takes to get you into a movie? Yeah, you know. You will be in every movie I make from now to the end of time. That's right, because

Joe Mazzello is here, everybody. And he... It's really fun, the journey I've taken with you, Joe, because you're my, one of my favorite parts of the original Jurassic Park was you as a child

getting almost electrocuted to death. Yeah. And staggering around with a funny hair and smoke coming out of your head. Yeah. I had a routine about that. It hasn't gone down that much. Yeah, your hair's similar.

But now you're you're an adult grown man and I was watching I'm one of I'm one of those things you survived dinosaurs

and electrocution and a cameo in part two right which were you pissed off by that you had a small part in part two

or were you busy with school and stuff that was like I called it like my scholarship my like Jurassic Park yeah because i like got paid to come on for one day and i was like cool i can go to college yeah nice there are no small parts you gotta remember that yeah i was a very small actor though by the way by the way danny you might want to think about getting his agent because one day he paid for college and you're getting a fucking sandwich.

He said lunch. I said sandwich. There was probably other... It was probably a very nice lunch. You're right. He was making an offer. It was probably a last meal kind of lunch. I said no.

Well, let's just introduce him now because you just heard his voice. Josh Wolf is here, everybody. Hi. Hey, Doug. Hey, dude. How are you? I want to talk about Joe some more.

So I'm watching... I'm watching Justified, and there's an episode with this crazy preacher with a fucking snake. I won't give away any more than that if you want to go back and watch it.

But I was like, who is this actor? I've never, you know, it always drives me crazy when I see a character actor that I don't know or in your case,

you know, leading man. And I was like trying to figure it out and then I always peek at the credits and I remembered your name from Jurassic Park.

There I was. I was like, that's fucking Joseph Mazzello all grown up and shit. That's me. And that's awesome. And now, you have a movie that you wrote and directed and also have a part in. Yes. Correct. That everyone can see, either on VOD or in theaters, on July 15th?

July 15th, that's right. What's it called? It's called Undrafted. Undrafted. Undrafted. And it's about baseball. It's a baseball movie. It's an ensemble.

It's a comedy, but it tugs at your heartstrings at the end. Was that... Oh, just fucking keep your hands off my heartstrings. I'm an emotional mess. But you... So you played baseball in school and stuff? I had no time to play baseball, but my brother played baseball all the time.

I had a choice when I was nine years old to go do a movie, Shadowlands was the name of it, or to play Little League Baseball. And so I went to my first Little League Baseball tryout, and I got hit in the face with a ball. And I said, that's the end of my baseball career. I am going to do movies. You know what?

And I hope they don't mind this big baseball welt on my face. That came down. But you know what, Doug? The typical American story. Most little boys grow up and they're like, I don't know. Should I play Little League this year or be in Jurassic Park? I don't know which one. I think the choices were T-Ball and Jurassic Park.

Around that time. But Josh, I want to get back to Danny. Danny, you have... I went to Juvenile Hall. There you go. Halls of Justice. You have an Indiegogo. That's why you're here. I mean, you also seem to be a very nice person

who's enjoying this experience. But we got something we need people to pitch in for because you want to make a movie called Social Security. Right. I love the premise of this movie. You're basically, it says in the write-up that you play yourself kind of. Yeah.

But that you help out in a terrorist situation in an old age home. They describe it as die hard in a funeral. Not funeral. Die hard in a funeral. Die hard. Yeah, really strange.

The body count begins before the movie does. It's going to be, it's kind of, minus Bruce Willis, it's going to be a diehard in a retirement home. Senior citizens. Don't interrupt me. Retirement. Sorry. I will not.

It's going to be diehard in a retirement home, and we need to get this man a Snickers. God. You don't know how many times I've heard that from my kids. Oh, shit.

Bob, get him a snicker. And I'm sure God drops the snickers on your ass. Immediately. Yeah, it's kind of die hard in an old age home. And I go to visit a friend. I put a friend in there. And all of a sudden, people are robbing people. Because right now, believe it or not, there's over 6 million senior citizens that are being abused annually in the United States.

Either by their kids or by hospitals. Notice how quiet it got. That's serious shit. It's pretty serious. But it's serious shit. But I'm glad you're making a movie about it that sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. We're trying to kind of empower them, and we're going to be handing out stun guns.

Here, Grandma, take this. So we're just trying to bring it to light. And a lot of the proceeds are being donated to... Craig, help me out. For all the elderly abused, an organization. An organization for the abused elderly. That's Craig Moss. He's the director of Badass 1, 2, and 3.

That's right. Yeah, and now he will be directing his new project. If you guys Indiegogo it, just go to Indiegogo and type in Danny Trejo, T-R-E-J-O, and you can bid for really cool things,

like lunch with Danny, so you'll go with him to the set of a student film and have lunch together. If you give enough money, you'll get hit in the face by me. In the movie. Or get me. In the movie. Or get killed.

In the movie. You got to be clear. When I was reading it, I was like, you know, if you pledge this much, I'll punch you in the face. In the movie. Wait, is it going to be my double in the movie that gets punched in the face? I don't think they're going to hire one. But that sounds awesome. And yeah, I'm going to bid on that, I think.

Which one? The punch in the face? Yeah, yeah. And you could get like, you know, a speaking role in the movie and be a producer. Well, I would hope the guy that gets punched in the face says something first. At least, ouch. Before or after, the guy's got to have some lines. He's got to make trouble or be in pain.

Or both, actually. But that's I hope it works out for you. How long do they, what's the cut off? How soon do people have to go there and pledge? You're asking me? I'm the producer. Oh yeah, yeah, dude.

Well, it's going right now. It'll be for another 28 days. 28 days or whatever those things go go for you're gonna auction off those sweet ass vintage Jordans you're wearing look at those fuckers there you go so these guys are willing to put up anything to get this movie would you make sweet love to a young lady if she put the right price my love interest if my love interest uh there's to be a love interest

depending on how much money she puts up. And I think it's so funny because I kind of said, well, she might have to have some daddy issues. What if she was like, you know what, I'd rather get punched in the face. Craig says, no, wait a minute. Craig says, for both.

Craig says, I said, she might have to have some daddy issues. Don't ever break a joke again. Machete is telling a joke. Yeah, send the audience. Good call, Josh. She might have to have some daddy issues. Craig said, she might have to have some granddaddy issues.

Oh, no. Did you get punched for that one? Yeah. Oh, it's an old age home. Yeah, I wouldn't say something like that to you because the next sound would be, shoo! The blade coming out.

The blade. Yeah, all right. So, do you have anything you want people to check out, Josh? I just did 10 new minutes at the Laugh Factory tonight. Oh, okay. That was a joke, by the way. No, there's nothing going on with me. Just my stand-up, man.

My stand-up. You want everyone to see Undrafted, I thought. Yeah, I want everyone to see Undrafted, and it's really important to me. And I might get bit to get punched in the face. Hey, get in there. Craig, get in there. What if you and I were outbidding each other to get punched in the face? No, let's always bid the exact same amount, but be the top bidder.

So he's going to have to. Danny can punch both of us at the same time. Or double punch? That's what I'm saying. Like, if we're standing next to each other, he just follows through and punches both of us. Bing, bing. Or, yeah, that business. I like that.

Yeah. Write it in, Craig. Don't get him. You're going to have to give him a credit. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. No, I got nothing. I'm just excited. I'll wear a hat, too. Don't get him. You're going to have to give him a credit. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. No, I got nothing. I'm just excited. I'll wear a hat, too.

We'll just be a couple of white assholes. Yeah. I play that part very well. After he punches both of us, he can say, don't do drugs. Yeah. Because, Danny, we do. So, Josh. Yeah. What did Danny, we do. So, Josh.

Yeah. What did you bring for the prize bag? Oh, I, this happens to be a book that I wrote, a New York Times best-selling book, and I brought a fucking hard copy, everybody. So there you go. Now, listen. It's called It Takes Balls, Dating Single Moms and Other Confessions from an Unprepared Single Dad.

But don't get lost in these fucking eyes, everybody. I just want you to... I'm so sorry they put that in the back. But there you are. That's what I brought. Dude, you've also got hair under there. You wear baseball caps like a bald guy. Yeah.

You know why? I'll tell you why. When I was very young, I was probably 13 and um i was washing dishes in in the kitchen and my dad walked through the kitchen and he went you have a huge forehead and i've been wearing a hat ever since yeah i walked in because i went i went oh daddy's got forehead issues i went in to talk to my mom i go mom, Mom, Dad said I have a big forehead. Do I have a big forehead? And I was expecting her to go,

No, baby, you don't have a big forehead. She goes, Just because you have a lot of brains. And I was like, Oh, I must have a huge fucking forehead. Oh, my God. Yeah, put a hat on, Megamind. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Pick a team, Poindexter.

That's not a big head person, necessarily. All right, yeah, he's just smart. Has big glasses. Pass that down. Thank you for bringing that. Thank you. And what do you got for the bag, Mr. Mazzello? Yes, I brought a literal ball sack.

It's two baseball. I got a baseball signed by the entire cast of Undrafted. Including Chase Crawford's on there? Mr. Chase Crawford, Tyler Hoechlin, Jim Belushi, Billy Gardell. A lot of great people in the movie. How nice is that Billy Gardell? He's a great guy. What a sweetheart.

He's the best. He's only got one. He's only got one ball. It's the Lance Armstrong ball sack. Well, there's been a... First of many dick jokes, everybody. Settle in. Okay, here we go.

Balls have been the theme of two of the gifts tonight, so it's only appropriate that we also have a badass poster. Yeah, look at that. Did you throw your signature on there already? That was a fun movie. No, I need a marker. All right, I can do a marker right now. Let's get it done.

That's amazing. Very cool. So somebody's going to win all that stuff tonight. Hey, Danny, do you have any action figures of yourself? You know what? They made a machete action figure and i didn't know it and so the first time i was at an autograph signing in england and somebody brought this doll will you sign my dog no i won't sign your dog well it's you and oh okay

i'm not going to sign your dolly. Find your fucking doll. I'll sign that one. All right, so he's writing, here's your fucking doll. Right here. Thank you, Danny Trejo. Bless you, audience member that just sneezed.

So I immediately called my agent. Are we getting a part of this so yeah were you yeah that's the kind of mailbox money I want

when I don't even know what the fucking checks are for I'm like what is this one for I got a dollar residual they did a Jurassic Park action figure for me they did

yeah but I didn't get any pieces because it looked nothing like me they made sure of it like the Nedry action figure was me. They did? Yeah. But I didn't get any pieces because it looked nothing like me. They made sure of it. Like the Nedry action figure was like really slim. Wait, are you serious? You didn't get any? I'm dead serious. Yeah, we didn't get anything

for it. The Sam Jackson one was a white guy. Yeah. He pulled a string on his back. He goes, hold on to your butts. My agent, Gloria Hinojosa. Call her. She'll get you.

We're going to talk. Yeah, seriously. I think we just made these two a team. Would you want to have an action figure of yourself? An inaction figure would be cool. Just you on the couch. Just on its side all the time. Yeah.

Or into couch, but yeah. That could totally be cool. I mean, you know, you just never know what's going to happen in this crazy business. We all didn't get into it to be action figures. You know? I played inmate number one for my first five years. Well, you were always number one, it sounds like. That's what I thought.

I didn't even know. The first time I was interviewed somebody said Mr. Trejo aren't you afraid of being stereotyped? And I said as what? And they said well you're always playing the badass Chicano with tattoos. And I thought about it and I said I am the badass Chicano with tattoos. Yeah. Why fight it? This was

the worst Hollywood moment ever for me personally. I had written and sold a show about my life. The Josh Wolfe Show. It's a couple years ago. Clearly a thing that has not happened. Yeah.

We're in the meeting with the network. I won't say what network it was, NBC. And we're in the meeting, and they're like, this script is great. And we've got a great team. And they look at me, and they go, who do you see playing Josh? And I was like, what? And they go, who do you see playing Josh? And I was like, uh, well, me. Because I am Josh.

Yeah. The guy was like, I don't see it. And I go, what do you mean? He goes, I'm not sure. Yeah, I don't see it. I don't see you playing this character. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Did you pull out your resume and show him that you've played Josh, the character of Josh?

I pulled out my fucking driver's license. And I was like, look at Josh right here. Drink it in. Yeah. You had two different shows. You had a recurring role as a guy named Josh. On Raising Hope and My Name is Earl. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, because the guy who created it i was like why do you keep naming my character josh he goes honestly i said yeah he goes not sure how bright you are i don't want you to think about too much and i was like all right fair enough okay not an insult by the way as long as he kept writing me in i'm like i don't know you can kill me whatever you want you know i almost died on the set of my name is earl on one of the thank you Earl. Thank you. In one of the episodes, my character did die. And so I was supposed to be in a coffin. And at the funeral, they were fucking around with me.

And it was supposed to be a party. And my character, the dead guy, had a cigarette in his mouth that was lit. So the joke was supposed to be they were going to open the casket, and there was going to be a cigarette in my mouth lit. So they're was supposed to be they were going to open the casket and there was going to be a funeral cigarette in my mouth lit. So they're closing the casket and the guy goes, so we're going to close the casket, just light the cigarette and then when we open it, it'll be in. I go, okay.

And as we're closing the casket, I go, whoa, whoa, whoa. I go, the inside of it's fireproof, right? And he goes, what? I go, the inside of the coffin's fireproof, right? He goes, hold on a second. The inside of the coffin's fireproof? You goes hold on a second the inside of the coffin's fireproof you should probably get out of there and I was like well

they hadn't checked to see if the inside of the coffin was fireproof I would have lit that fucking thing up in there well then they would have had to get someone to play Josh Wolfe on the Josh Wolfe show for sure for sure yeah that Josh Wolfe show was not happening either way. Exactly. Speaking of things that I want to happen, Danny,

is Machete in space going to be a reality? Robert Rodriguez is viciously writing right now as we speak. Yeah? Yeah. That's great. We're writing it you know whenever we get it done I think he's doing stuff now out of New Mexico instead of Austin so okay trying to put together change it up he's got a whole new studio thing in New

Mexico interesting we're doing from dusk to dawn you know the TV series yeah El Rey Network and I play who do I play? The regulator. I forget something. The regulator. The regulator. Yeah, I don't negotiate I regulate. He pulls up with a bumper sticker that says that

on his bike. This is a question I like to ask all my guests on every episode just to see what you guys like or what you're aware of. What was the last movie that you watched that you're not in? The last movie I watched?

Yeah, like on TV or in a movie theater. Do you ever go out to a movie theater other than like premieres? My movies. Yeah. Yeah. But know, yeah. But you're not interested in any other ones or? Are they going to send me

a check for going? The question is, I feel like my life is enriched by going. I'm not a real movie buff other than, you know, I love making movies. Sure.

And the last movie I seen was called Hondo with John Wayne. I love westerns and Hondo was just on. Oh, okay. I'll check that one out. Yeah, it's a really good one. I like, I love some of his life is tough and if you're

stupid, it's tougher. I was like, you're straight up. Hey! Sounds like he doesn't negotiate either. I'll write you a job. Yeah. You goddamn tough guys. Yeah.

With your words and your violence. Who needs it? Joe, what about you? What have you seen lately? Did you see The Lobster? The... No. Oh, wait, I'm sorry.

I saw... God, man, I just... It was... What was it? It was the... what was it? It was the, what is it? You'll get there. BFG, BFG.

Oh, the BFG, the new Spielberg giant movie. My friendly giant, yeah, I just saw that. By friendly giant, that's what those letters stand for? BFG, my fucking giant. I would go see it tonight. The B-L-G-B-T? Yeah, the LGBT giant. Did you like that?

Yeah. You know, we got a obviously a big Spielberg fan here. I liked to be entertained, and that was entertaining. And then I have two stepkids. One has autism, one has Asperger's. And they loved it. For them, it's like, it's got to be interesting.

It's got to keep them interested. But they'll start calling me popcorn. Yeah. It was like really weird. Sounds like they should try to get that on the poster in the ads. Bring everyone with autism or Asperger's this is this movie's for you The kid with they'll tell you stuff that they see in the movie that you didn't even see they watch it so intensely Yeah, you're like there was a giant yeah

did you Joe did you is that kind of where your interest in actually is eventually directing did it start as early as when you were

making Jurassic Park did you ask a lot of questions yeah your character in the movie was crazy inquisitive about everything yeah

no Spielberg used to pull me out of school he had like when you're Yeah, it did. Your character in the movie was crazy inquisitive about everything. Yeah, exactly. Spielberg used to pull me out of school. When you're on set as a kid, you've got to go to school for three hours a day. And so he has a studio teacher that he makes sure that doesn't follow the rules. Everything's a field trip, you know what I mean? Like, hey, I'm taking you on a field trip to set. Yeah. So you can work three more hours.

But he used to pull me out of set all the time and show me the shots that he was setting up. And he filmed the hurricane that we went through and put it in the movie. We were in this big hurricane, Hurricane Iniki, in Hawaii. And so I saw a guy so insane about what he does and loving it so much that he would film an approaching hurricane.

I was like, that sounds like a job I want to do. I'm not going to film a hurricane, but I am going to maybe become a director someday. And now you are. And now I've done it. Yes! I love that. Boy, that scared me for a minute when you said Spielberg used to pull me out of school.

I just... Just don't worry about it. Whoa. I blocked a lot of it out. I'm taking you to the principal and that's me. Did you answer the last movie you saw question?

I didn't. And now it's going to sound like I'm really kissing this guy's butt. Because you saw it too? No, last night I watched E.T. Last night. I literally it too? No, last night I watched E.T. I literally, on Netflix at home, I watched E.T. with my brother. How many times did you jerk off?

I love that movie. Okay, wait, wait, wait. I want to see how tough you are. Sorry, I'm sorry about that. Did you cry when he was going to die, when he was getting sick? Not last night. But like, it is a little less sad, Danny,

when you know how it's going to end. It's a little different. Yeah, the first time I cried for sure. Oh, yeah. The first time, everybody's a mess.

But once you've seen it, you're pretty clear that he's going to be okay. Yeah, but I cheered when they got on the bikes at the end. I was like, I love you, Stevens. Are you listening?

Hi, Stevens. Joe was on. Steven Spielberg listens to this. We can't get him to come on. Because he just likes hearing it. He doesn't need to see it in person. Sends notes. Pulls me out of school all the time. All the time pulls you out of school. Josh, what was the last movie you saw?

I was just thinking about my first hurricane experience with Spielberg. It was crazy. You and I have such a similar life. I know, it was really crazy. We should be friends in real life, I think. Spielberg, you did that giant... You know what movie I saw?

What was the... And I can't remember the name of it. This is why I'm so bad at this game. But it was a movie with James Corden where he was in the woods? It was like with Meryl Streep. Into the Woods. Was it called Into the Woods?

Into the Woods. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah. I saw that movie where they go into the woods. Yeah. The woods. So you're saying it was called Into the Woods? Yeah.

By the way, then it was very well named. And I watched that the other night. Because they also sing it a million times. Into the woods. Into the woods. Oh, Grandma. By the way, then it was very well named. And I watched that the other night. Because they also sing it a million times. Into the Woods, Into the Woods, Into the Woods. Shut up! I actually liked the movie. Yeah? Yeah, you didn't like it?

Well, I don't like the music that much. Spielberg did that giant movie. He sure did. Yeah, he did. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Real movie buff. It's true, yeah.

I'm glad we dragged you into this movie trivia contest that we're about to partake in. I might actually win one. about to partake in. I might actually win one. How much did your publicist tell you about this experience, Mr. Trejo? About this one? Yeah.

Not enough. No, wait. Wait. Wait. You and me with this guy is really funny. Come on, sit down. Yeah, yeah. It's fun though, right? Awesome. You're going to be with this guy. He's really funny. Come on, sit down. Yeah, yeah.

It's fun, though, right? Awesome. You're having a good time. I'm having a good time. Well, here's the thing. People in the audience at these shows, after my encouragement, started bringing name tags

that are fashioned after they generally have something to do with a movie or this podcast or just some narcissistic piece of crap. But there's a lot of them in the crowd right now. And the idea is you're going to pick the one you like and then bring it back to your seat with you. And then you're going to play on behalf of that person today in the games we play. And whichever one of you three guys wins, the person you're playing for will get all these... Me too. The prize bag.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Woo! So... Run that by me again. What'd you say? Okay, here we go. I'll sit down.

It's going to take a minute. I'm an ex-professional fighter, so... Right? You're a little concussed? Ring a bell. Did you just say ring a bell? Ring a minute. I'm an ex-professional fighter, so... Right, you're a little concussed. Ring a bell. Did you just say ring a bell? Ring a bell. That's hilarious.

Do we have a bell standing by? I didn't mean to say that. Okay, yeah. Hey, and can someone turn up the heat in here? I'm in a cool spot i don't know why you're so hot over there but yeah maybe you might want to disrobe a little bit people always yell out when you take something off on stage um yeah just pick one pick which one of these you like for whatever reason i don't know if anybody made one of any of your films. Because guests are a surprise.

They didn't necessarily know you were going to be here. But just, you know. Do you like any of them? All right. Well, while Danny thinks about it, we're going to go to a brief commercial message. We'll be right back. Hey, you guys. commercial message we'll be right back hey you guys just in case we missed some important details in our discussion of Danny Trejo's Indiegogo project let me

just lay it out for you right now Social Security is the name of the film it'll be written and directed by Craig Moss who also directed Danny Trejo in the trio of badass films from 20th Century Fox. Not just films that were badass, actually called badass. Trejo plays a version of himself in Social Security, a man who protects a retirement home from a group of menacing jewelry thieves. It's like Die Hard in a retirement home. They're in the process of assembling additional actors to round out the cast,

initially conceived by the filmmakers for Trejo's 70th birthday, and it's been in development with 20th Century Fox for a short time. But you can go to Indiegogo and search Danny Trejo, T-R-E-J-O, for more info. Prizes that could be received if you pledge to the Indiegogo include lunch with Trejo on the set, producer credits, a role in the movie, a DVD, and tickets to the world premiere. Other prizes

include one year supply from Trejo's Tacos. Trejo Tacos! Also, one prize will be that you can get punched in the face by Danny in the film. I wouldn't mind getting that. They want to make this movie in the fall, but can't do it without your help.

Check it out on Indiegogo and also on Twitter at twitter.com slash social s movie or at facebook.com slash social S movie. All right. Back to more fun with Danny Trejo and the rest. We're back. Danny is playing for Mel boy, which is, she took the hell boy poster and put her face on there.

And her name, her name is Melissa. Melinda. All right. Take it back. No, it's Melinda. So you're playing for Melinda. So it's that simple.

Okay. Who'd you pick, Joe? Oh, look at what Joseph picked. It felt like fate, so. He's got Michelle E.T. That was awesome. Michelle E.T. Michelle, that was awesome. The Brian King. Michelle E.T.

Michelle period, T period. It's like Mr. T. And Josh is playing for, I talked about it earlier, the Doug Benson masterpiece, The Brian King. And oh,

and also Donald Trump is hanging out On a rock That was normally occupied by like a cheetah Must be a Mexican No, he's not Yeah, by scar Donald Trump and they're trying to keep the Mexican baby away from him I like that analysis

I like that That was some funny shit, homie. Wait, you're the one who said it. I did not expect Danny Trejo to LOL. At his own joke. Laugh out loud. Lots of love. Right?

Laugh out loud. It do you say when that one goes? That's... Lots of love. Right? Laugh out loud. It can be lots of love. How many times do you think you've laughed on screen in the 316 student films you've been in? How many times I've laughed?

Yeah, how many times do you play a character that laughs about something? And not laughing because you're murdering someone. Like, just laughing because you're just enjoying a nice story well told.

In a movie called Animal Factory, we're all in prison. I remember going, ha, ha, ha. That's some funny shit. Yeah, that's as happy as you get. Yeah, yeah. You imagine if you were on stage and you had a whole audience of guys laughing like that? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh. Can you imagine if you were on stage and you had a whole audience of guys laughing like that?

Alright, so we've picked the name tags, so we're good on that. And now I'm just going to tell you about the games we're going to play. And, you know, don't worry about it. It's no big deal. If you don't know the answer. I think you could do pretty well this first one is called characters welcome and I'm going to take names from the character list in a motion picture and read them out loud and the first person that can guess the title of the motion picture I'm talking about... Dicks Out for the Gorilla. First of all, I think it's Dicks Out for Harambe.

Harambe. And... I'm sorry. But I have seen Dicks Out for the Gorilla. That's a great movie. Sigourney Weaver got an Oscar nomination, I think.

Yeah, it was a really, it was an indie, indie, indie film, but it was really good. But that's so funny that he saw Put Your Hands Together earlier this evening

and Brandon Wardell was on talking about hashtag dicks out for Harambe which he's trying to get going but he's not posted his own dick

so it's hard to get it going. That was funny. But he, yeah, you apparently love that. So yeah, anytime you can't

think of an answer tonight just yell that out. Harambe, yay Harambe. Okay. Yay Harambe. Yay, Harambe. Okay. Yay, Harambe. He shot him. They did.

It was sad. He shot the mom. First, he has to live in Cincinnati, and then he has to be shot. I'm teasing Cincinnati. I love Cincinnati. All right, here we go. These are character names

From a movie Just say into your microphone Guess as often as you like Whenever you think you know What movie this is There's a character In this movie named June Benny and June

No There's one named April Months of the year Months of the year of the movie Yeah There's a character named Rico Rico Suave Not that one, but yes

April, June, and Rico Yeah, that'd be crazy if that were the title And I just read those three off How did you know? That's like if the third name I said was Dupree It would narrow it down considerably. Is that like... Sounds very Puerto Rican.

Kind of, yeah. Rico. There's a Nurse Fine in this movie. Isn't that a Dr. Fine? Nope, just Nurse Fine. There's someone named... It's not Into the Woods. Not Into the woods

No nurses come to the aid of Can I ask Hey can I ask you a question No I'm just gonna read more names It becomes very evident eventually Okay Julio Is another person in this movie

Vaughn Is in there Machete That's correct I thought you might be better at this than you think the minute he said April I wanted to say but then I thought oh everybody's gonna think it's a joke yeah honest to God I swear to God yeah yeah, you showed remarkable restraint there. Sounds Puerto Rican.

That was good. Doc Felix, Torres, Padre, Senator McLaughlin. Yeah! And then, of course, we would have gotten it for sure when I said Machete. Senator McLaughlin. Just to be honest, it would have taken for you to say Machete for me to guess. Machete. Which would have been, if I got that far and he didn't get it, that would have been really funny.

Robert De Niro. I know every movie, Robert De Niro. Wow, he was't get it. That would have been really funny. Robert De Niro. I know every movie Robert De Niro was in. Wow. He was like awesome. It's unbelievable. When he joined everybody joined. The first time. Yeah. And then the cast is amazing in the second one. I'm looking forward to who you put in space.

You know how we got Lady Gaga? I literally met her in a tattoo shop. I was getting my back tattooed by Mark Mahoney at Shamrock Tattoo. And good guy. One person's into that. Mark Mahoney's here, you guys. There's 30 people in this room. Go ahead, check this out. So I'm getting it.

And I come in and I say, hey, Mark, we're going to do machete kills. And he goes, all right. And from right here somebody says, God, I'd love to be in that. I turn around, it's Lady Gaga getting a tattoo. And I thought, Gaga? Gaga? I always wondered why she was called that, but it's just

a natural response. And she's a lady and I says really so I just called Robert hey I'm in a tattoo shop right now with Lady Gaga she wants to do bachata too we'll get a hold of her people

and the next day I knew she was like Cass so that was knew she was like Cass. So that was awesome. She was bitching. I wasn't getting a tattoo when I found out you were going to do this show. That's why I don't tell that story. I've got Lady Gaga's pots and pans that she used on the set. I got them at home.

They're in a shop. She brings her own pots and pans to set? Who knew she was so domesticated, right? I brought some pots and pans for everybody. I'm gonna bake up some pumpkin seeds right here. I'm gonna put some turmeric on it. She cooks her own food. Can you imagine Lady Gaga actually,

she's real health conscious. So she does like a steamer, you know, like that kind of shit. All this stuff. Does she throw a little garlic in there? She cooks like her own food. And so after she was done, I said, what do you do with those? She says, well, just leave them.

So I got them at home. I have a shelf that says Lady Gaga's Pots and Pants. Did you wash them? He screams at everyone, don't touch the gagas. Yeah. Hands off the gagas. Yeah. So I, but I did it.

Gaga. Well, you did it. You won the first game. Okay. By recognizing the characters in your own film. So now we're going to play another game. There's probably going to be three games total. This game is called

Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? And in this game... One person loves that game. Yeah, I think everyone's afraid to make any noise right now. Yeah. But in this game, I'm going to say... Machete, don't text. Machete. Wait, you did such a great job of impersonating me in the first part of that.

Everyone listening just thought it was business as usual. But it's like that. I'll say a tagline that was used on a poster or in an advertisement for a film. What's the one on, is there one here on For Badass? Like, what does it say at the bottom? Oh, here we go. They mess with the wrong senior citizen. Right on.

This is a great example of one that I'll use on a future show. Who knows what people will guess when you say that. My first guess would be Cocoon. Yeah, mine too. Those are the only two movies, Cocoon and Grumpy Old Men, that have been made about senior citizens in like the last, what, 20 years or 10 years?

Whenever Cocoon was. It's not a big topic for movies, it's true. Well, yeah, think about how many senior citizens are going to go watch my movie. Yeah. Thank you. Fortunately, they can see it at home, too. These days.

So I'll say a line, you know, a tagline. Like another example would be, in space, no one can hear you machete. Which should be the tagline for machete in space. And then a shot of you floating through space and when you whip the knife out it doesn't make the sound. And it floats away. Oh no!

Machete! So you, thank you for acting it out, so you get to go first in this game. I'll say the tagline, you just guess what movie it is. You get one guess.

If you can't get it, Joe gets to guess, and then Josh. And if none of you get it, then we're going to bring out a piñata. You had to go there, didn't you? I did. Oh, yeah. One Mexican here, and you got to say a piñata. Oh, there's got to be another Mexican here and you gotta say a pinata. One. Oh, there's gotta be

another Mexican here. And he's shabby. He's parked outside. Yeah, he's working in the booth. Oh, that's too far. Okay, I just wanted to know. A lot of great Mexican sound technicians,

you guys. Give it up. All right. What movie is this the tagline for, Danny? The Showdown is On. That is from The Devil's Rejects. Because it is The Shit is On.

Well, I said The Showdown is On. I don't have to clean it up, but it's a podcast. I could say The Shit is On. This is The Showdown is On. But that's a great guess. Well, actually, then... We're suing whoever movie that is. Yeah, sue them

for sure. Joe? Showdown is on. The showdown is on. He's trying to help me I appreciate that I don't know face off

could be sure it's a fairly generic tagline do you have a guess Josh dodgeball a true underdog story

that's the one yeah or whatever it was yeah nope that's the tagline for the motion picture version of From Dusk Till Dawn.

The showdown? Is on. I'm gonna have to really focus in. I feel like there's a little bit that we're gonna have to really focus in on movies that you've been in. Let me pull up my IMDb. He's disputing it. It's IMDb lists taglines for movies

and there's like several. There's probably a more memorable one that you might know. But this was one that was used somewhere. This bar is for bikers and truckers only. That's one. Yeah, there you go. That one would have given it away.

Yeah, that one would have been okay. Part of my fun is sneaking this shit past you. So let's try another one. Do you know why I know you're not going to do one from a movie I've been in why

I haven't been in any fucking movies I'm pretty sure okay Danny what's this from yeah a weekend wasted is never a wasted weekend

it sounds too intellectual for one of my movies. Yeah. That's pretty smart. That's some Mensa shit right there. I want to know. Fury Road Scholar.

Any guesses at all? Not a cocoon. What was it again? When in doubt, I'll say it again because it's Joe's turn. A weekend wasted is never a wasted weekend.

Ferris Bueller. Best is the day. That might be the sequel to Ferris Bueller's weekend. What? The Hangover. The Hangover is not a terrible guess, but no.

It's not right, though. Josh weekend at bernie's i was gonna say that too yeah weekend of bernie's no um you haven't been in any movies but your cousin scott wolf has yes and that's from a movie that he did called go oh he's gonna be super happy that i got that one right. Wait, hold on, hold on. He listens also, right? How many people have seen Go? A lot of people. Let's get something a little more... Oh, I see what you're saying.

Okay, this might be a little bit more popular. We'll start with you again. The vacation is over. My dad? It's not a quote. Okay, 25. The vacation is over! You are really funny, old...

That's some funny shit. It sucks that it's too late to put that on the book jacket. That's some funny shit. I won't. That's just funny. It sucks that it's too late to put that on the book jacket. You're really funny, Holmes. Danny Trejo. My check, Danny. I sold 2,000, 200,000 more copies. When he yelled that, I almost turned around and said, Oh, Dad!

Yeah. It's very realistic. Do you have a guess? No. No. Joe? That's from The River Wild. That's the movie that you're in called The River Wild.

All right. Thank God I got that. Thank God. Yeah. I was getting so nervous. Were you? I don't know any of these taglines. Well, because you knew he was going to come with a movie.

It had to happen. It had to happen. All right. So now we're going to start with you, Josh. Okay. Joe's on the board. He's got a point. Am I getting punished or what? No, you're not getting punished.

But use your microphone voice, though, for sure. Are we getting what he's saying on the mic? Hello? It's just sometimes you hold it like over here. It needs to be here. Okay. I wouldn't tell him

what to do. I hate to direct him. Yeah, I know. It's not a good feeling. Yeah. Here's what I'm gonna need you to do. Josh's got the game.

I got it now. Okay. So Josh gets to go first. All right. What movie had the tagline Taking the World by Farce? By Farce? No, I mean, yes.

I did not mispronounce force. I'm trying to think. Taking the World by Farce. Do I go next? You're after Josh, yeah. I'm trying to think of the movie. You're going to guess at it because he's not going to get it. No fucking way.

Taking the World by Farce. Jurassic Park. I mean, you should at least name a comedy, I would think. All right, Danny. Is it Delta Farce? No! That would be a great line for that one. He said that. What's his name? He said that in

Delta Farce. That was that movie with Larry the Cable Guy and Billy and Hello, Hello and Danny Traynor. Yeah, yeah. I think we all knew you were in it. He suddenly knows a lot about a movie he had nothing to do with. He's a real Delta Farce defender. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's got those action figures. He's a Delta Farce apologist. What do you think it is, Joe? Do you have any idea? I don't know. Okay. It's in a movie you're in Danny called Muppets most wanted which you are amazing in by the way me

and Ray Lee singing and dancing oh much Mexican loose in London. I stood at the gates at Buckingham Palace screaming, Mom! Mom Elizabeth! Let me in! Please! Remember when you went to the United States? Oh, God.

I almost got a break. That was the reason for Brexit. Yeah. They were like, we can't do that again. Brexit. Now they're getting out of the union or something. Yeah, they are. They're getting out of the union or something.

All right, one last one. Joe's winning this game. Yes. With one. Wow, we're great. He gets to start us off. The tagline is simply, a Los Angeles crime saga. LA Confidential? No.

It's a movie that Danny was in. What's the say it again? Or Scott Wolf. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Or Joseph Mazzone. Oh shit. Say it again? Or I just did something weird at the end. A Los Angeles crime saga. That's not a Scott Wolf movie. That seems like something that might have done well in the theaters.

You sound confident that he does not listen. You sound confident that he does not listen. Do you ever work with Scott Wolf? What? Scott Wolf? He's probably just looking around like, why do they keep Scott Wolf? What? Scott Wolf. He's probably just looking around like, why do they keep saying Wolf? Yeah.

Yeah, what the hell? Where's the fucking Wolf? Where's Wolf in London? Nope. Nice guys. Oh, okay. Good guess. My other cousin was in that.

That's why I said it. Oh, all right. We got to have you back on and discuss this other cousin. I didn't know there was another cousin that's in more movies than you are. Yep, yep. And there's a bunch of them.

All right. Danny? Badass. Oh. We just said what the thing says for badass. I said a lot of things. Is it Chinatown yeah it's not like what spoken lines in the movie necessarily oh yeah and that's how they advertise a film you're in called heat an LA crime saga yeah okay thank you for 10 years ago whoever did that i really whoever did that came

up with that one probably got fired yeah because that movie's a lot more intense than just oh it's a saga it's an episode of events that movie has got me out of more traffic tickets than every time a cop stopped me hey you were that guy in heat. Wow. They did everything right according to the way we do it on the police force. Here. Here's your driver's license. Thank you, officer. Swear to God. Everything was packed.

They just issue you a driver's license right there on the spot. No. They give me mine back. I got it. After they tell me, all right, Mexican, get off the ground. Hey, hey, stop kicking him. He's fine. Stop kicking him. He's fine. Get him back in the car.

Don't hurt him. He's got a lot of heat. Tell our publicers the last time we do this, this is, my stomach hurts. Machete doesn't have fun. My fun hurts. Machete doesn't have fun. Machete hurts. Machete. Machete.

Machete. That's what he's going to kill in his next movie. Fun. Machete don't laugh. Machete kills fun. Oh, God. Hey, all of you guys, go see

Social Security. I'm sorry. Wait, it's not... They gotta help get it made first. God. Go see it eventually, you guys. Are you saying that because you might just jump up and leave?

Are you planning to run out of here? My belly! there because you might just jump up and leave you planning to run out of here my belly because we gotta play one more game if that's cool it's one to one to nothing right now right the points don't count for anything really it just means that joe gets to go first in this next game okay and then you get to go second and then uh danny i like to play along on this one uh but i can't win so if you come in second to me you're the winner it's just just true you guys

It's just true, you guys. The game is called Last Man Stanton. I'm going to get the name of an actor or actress that works a lot in motion pictures from an audience member. And then we're going to take turns naming movies that person was in. If you can't think of one, you're out. But you get one lifeline.

One time you can go to the person whose name tag you chose. So Melinda Boy can help you out once if you need it. You're Melinda Boy over there. Yeah, yeah. And Michelle E.T. can help out Joe once. And Josh can get help from Brian King.

Okay, Melinda boy, be ready. I hope you're not, like, peeing yourself right now. Danny Trejo yelling at you. You're not... I didn't say that. You didn't say it mean, but you know what you sound like, right? It's like Alec Baldwin trying to speak above a whisper.

It's just not going to happen. It's just not going to happen. All right, so there's a person in the audience tonight who reached out to me on Twitter saying, I've got the perfect name for the game tonight. And that person goes by Box Angeles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a fun name.

Why do you call yourself Box Angeles? It's the name of my podcast. You have a podcast called Box Angeles? Yeah. He's actually shooting it right now. It's got to sound a lot like yours. That would suck. People just come in and record mine

and add their own intro and hope that I talk to them at some point during the show. And what's the Box Angeles podcast about? It's just like origin stories, why people came to L.A. Origin stories, why people came to L.A. Did we all come from somewhere else other than L.A.? Yep. All right, tell me your origin story real quick.

Where'd you come from, Danny? Pacoima. I believe that's within L.A. County, sir. Joe, where are you from originally? I'm from Poughkeepsie, New York. You are? My mother used to work at the CIA up there. Stop it.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the CIA, but the Culinary Institute. That's what they call the CIA. And so you came to L.A. before you started acting, though? No, no, no, no. Acted in New York? I acted in New York.

I would go into the city and audition. I came out to L.A. I went to USC. Oh, okay. That's when I came out here. But so you got Jurassic Park because you first auditioned in New York on tape or something? I was offered Jurassic Park. Thank you very much. New York like on tape or something? I was offered Jurassic Park.

Thank you very much. Is that true? Whoa. When they made the offer did they pull you out of school to tell you? I auditioned for Hook.

Oh, there you go. I screen tested for Hook. Charlie Korsmo got the part. I was with Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman. Yeah. I auditioned for Hook. Dustin Hoffman thought

I made him look too mean because I was too sweet looking to this day. Charlie Korsmo is less sweet looking. Yeah. For sure. So Stephen said to me,

don't worry, Joey, I'll get you in a movie this summer. And I was Jurassic Park. Whoa. You know what? You won. You won on that one.

Yeah, you definitely won on that one. You definitely won that one. Yeah. There was no cameo in Hook 2 for the guy who played that kid. Don't tell people

from prison that you were too sweet. I'm planning on not going to prison. No, he just feeds ones that happen to be sitting next to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want some chameleon for this last game? I don't know about this last game. It sounds dangerous.

I was joking. I was joking. I was joking. It was a joke. Honestly. I was playing with the puppy. Hey. It don't matter whether you're pitching or catching.

It's all baseball. What? By the way, that's what his movie's about. Oh, I thought that was the tagline from Bull Durham. No, that's the tagline for Undrafted. That's what his movie's about, right there. That's going to be the logline in his movie. All right, so, Box Angeles,

good luck with your podcast. I'm from Massachusetts. Thanks for asking, Doug. I appreciate you asking. If you were like, I'm going to go out to L.A. and not be in movies. Yep. I'm going to go out there.

No, I'm not going to be in movies. They're going to have a show called The Josh Wolfe Show and not put me in it. All right. I got to get you on a Doug Loves Movies out that way, like in Boston sometime. That'd be fun.

You can drop some local references and color. What's your suggestion, Box Angeles? Believe it or not, you don't do a lot of directors, so I was gonna say... Are you really just making a speech first? Just say the fucking name. I'm sitting next to Machete. Steven Spielberg.

Steven Spielberg? You've got to be out of your mind. Did you just decide that? I'm about to clean up. Did you just decide that when there's one obvious person here who's memorized every title? There's no beating this guy.

That was honestly my suggestion before. Before you even got here? Yes. I agree to be on his podcast. We have to go with it. Wait. After this one. But in the case of Danny Trejo and Josh Wolfe, all they have to do is describe the movie.

But wait. But wait. But he's not an actor, Doug. No, I know. And that's why he said the big thing at the beginning. He goes, normally you don't do directors, but I just really think this is the perfect time... To change the entire game right now, I think. He was actually in the third Austin Powers.

We've done... There you go. Well, now you're... Oh, for fuck's sake. You could have saved that one. Right. I loved him in the Blues Brothers. He's like, I was actually in his home movie, so does that count, too?

He titled them all, too, so I have the titles for you. All right, so now that those are out of the way, I want to see, and it's movies directed by Steven Spielberg, and also Duel doesn't count because it was a TV movie. So let's just take turns and see how we do. I start? Joe gets to start, yeah. E.T.

Chandler's an extraterrestrial. Yeah. See, I don't know the ones he's directed as opposed to executive produced. Well, executive produced does not count, so good luck. Because I don't have the time or energy to look up if the executive produced something or not. We might remember in some instances, but I'd rather not get into it. Did he direct Schindler's List?

Yes. Of course he did. One Jew clapping. Good for you. It's important to start off with the comedies. They're doing the musical next year. It's going to be a good time Too soon for Holocaust jokes apparently But I will say

His sort of big attempt at a comedy I don't think he's done anything that else qualifies As a full out and out comedy Since 1941 Yeah it's been that long That is his one comedy, I think. I think so, but let's not get too deep into that because it's Danny's turn.

Did he do a big friendly giant? Yes, he did. Joe? Raiders of the Lost Ark. That might help you there. What do you mean full title? Raiders of the Lost Ark? Oh yeah, I think I know what you're saying, but...

That's not the full title? It is in fact the full title, but they're hinting at something else that will come into play in a minute. I purposely left that part out. I'm trying to win. You know what's crazy? They're having a conversation

that I'm sure like 90% of you know what the fuck they're talking about and I'm like, I don't even know. I don't know. You got another one though, right? He just said Raiders of the Lost Ark. I know,'t know. You got another one, though, right? He just said Raiders of the Lost Ark. I know.

I know there's a second one, but I don't remember. I don't know if that's... That's not Temple of Doom. That's the second one. Yeah. You said we didn't have to have the title. I did say if you could describe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So whatever the second one is... It's called Raiders of the Temple of Doom. No, it's called Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Temple of Doom. Which some people retroactively think the Raiders of the Lost Ark should be called Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, but that's just not true.

Temple of Doom. That's right. And then I'll go Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. Is that the one with Sean Con Connery it is yeah junior

why are we tied up junior Danny are we working to like the intellectual stuff now right yeah yeah it's super smart movies. Did he do Hook? Yeah. We were just discussing how Spielberg had him audition for Hook and he didn't get it. You didn't say Spielberg. Never. Okay. Alright.

Yosef? Okay, well let's get Jurassic Park out of the way then. All right. Yosef? Okay, well, let's get Jurassic Park out of the way. You dick. You didn't want to do a student films? I had to leave the Jurassic Parks for the rest of this. I'm trying to win for Michelle. Yeah. The film he made as a teenager or at film school, Amblin, does not count either. Because I just said it.

Can you describe one? No. Go ahead. Oh, here we go. Lifeline. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Stone. Now repeat it back correctly Josh it's like the telephone game that one, Indiana Jones and the

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull you can't even take what he just said and then just repeat it back something about the skull it's not on right and it's a little loose well yeah there were similar plots and it's a little loose. Well, yeah, there were similar plots,

I guess, to Bledouin. There's a lighter involved. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Yeah. You did it. Someone was trying to help me behind you and I think they were trying to mime crystal meth and I didn't get it.

They stripped down to their underwear and went and jumped into an RV? They started cleaning the floor with a toothbrush. Breaking Bad, right? You like that show? Tortuga! I didn't know what you were thinking about just now you're just trying to remember your character name no he did didn't he do American Graffiti who Steven Spielberg no that's George

Lucas that was close it's not your turn anyway so it's cool okay sorry it's your turn yeah I'm gonna go with the terminal the terminal oh Iinal. Oh, I got one! Yeah, he's got one. Danny, do you have another one, or do you want to use your lifeline? Melissa? Melboy! Melinda, Melboy. What do we got, babe?

Bridge of Spies. Bridge of Spies, the very recent Bridge of Spies movie. That was my lifeline. The guy who won the Oscar for that, Mark Rylance, is the big fucking giant. Is your husband here? Do you have a husband, Mel Boy? No. Boyfriend?

He's going to take you to dinner. You guys didn't even win. That was cool. What are you talking about? She just got a right answer. Oh, that's true, but you're going to be in trouble next time around because you're not going to be able to go to her. Think of Google something, hun.

No, but you can't... Google something. Just Google something. Spielberg would be a good thing to Google. Just that one word. All right. Joe. Don't do it. I'm going to try to steal another one from you. Don't do it.

I'm going to try to steal another one from you. Don't do it. There's only one more. I love this. Jaws. That wasn't it? You didn't even know Jaws? That wasn't it?

You know what's funny? I was so confident coming to me, but now I'm like, I'm going to stand up and say this confidently I'm going to get it fucking wrong. Go ahead and try it. Saving Private Ryan. Yes.

I'll go with Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Hey this guy's done some good work. Yeah right. Close Encounters to the third kind. The alien thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Mel, what do we got? Did we Google something?

No, she can't. She's not supposed to be able to help you anymore, but I can't argue with you. Munich? What? Oh, yeah. Munich. Oh, I thought she said eunuch.

Do you think he directed... And I was like, I've never seen that. Big friendly eunuch. Yeah. Gotta go home and fucking Google that one.

Is anything not funny? Yeah, okay. That's his reaction when you saw Delta Farce. So you want to go with Munich? She said Munich. Yeah. Okay, he's going with Munich. But don't Google. Just use your actual brain, if that's possible.

There was no phone. Okay, I'm not accusing you of using it yet I just I just don't want you to take his instructions Joe minority report mm-hmm and Josh is out right do you have any you can kind of describe probably not to the TV shows don't count no what about that he did a great cartoon too what amazing stories you mean that series somebody else is trying to help out stop it you guys ah it's just him and Mel she's getting a dinner all right well listen I'm gonnaaws 2. That would be a failure because that was directed by Jene Swark. Spell that.

Which name? Jene Swark. Either one of them. The last name is S-W-A-R-C. And Jene is, I don't know, J-E-A-N-N-E-T or something like that. E-T, that'd be funny. All right. I'm going to go with Catch Me If You Can. Really?

Uh-huh. That was a good one, right? With Leonardo DiCaprio? No, I don't want you to catch me. I thought that was funny. Wow. All right, for this next game, I'm gonna start running.

I thought he was going to start running. I thought he was in after three. Thank God you didn't wink. Apologies to whatever show is after this one. I just remembered one. I have no idea. Do you want to help him out? I could be wrong. Go ahead.

Just say it in your microphone. Did he do Apollo 13? No. Ron Howard. Did he do Catwoman's base work son? No, it was Ron Howard. Ron Howard. Ron Howard.

Yeah. No, I got nothing. So you got nothing? Hey, Mel, we got anything? Got anything, Mel? Lost World. Full title. Jurassic Park, Lost World.

It's actually Lost World, or The Lost World, Jurassic Park. She got it wrong, so you're out. Are you still going to buy her dinner? Yeah, but I'm going to kill you. That's not right. Oh, come on. She was in the fucking ballpark. What?

She was in the ballpark, folks. I've got the new first line for my wiki page. Stoner comedian killed for no reason by actor Danny Trejo. Joe, you got another one?

Yeah. Empire of the Sun. Yeah. Wow. Which he personally told me to watch when we were shooting Jurassic Park. He said watch that movie. Yeah. That's pretty cool. You and Christian Bale are probably two of the Sun. Yeah. Wow. Which he personally told me to watch when we were shooting Jurassic Park.

He said, watch that movie. Yeah. That's pretty cool. You and Christian Bale are probably two of the more, you know, continued to be successful young actors. Yeah, I know.

He's doing way better, but thanks. Super appreciate that, but he was like Batman, but thank you. Well, for a minute there, you were winning that contest when he did Newsies. I was. I was crushing him. Well, for a minute there, you were winning that contest when he did Newsies.

I was. I was crushing him. People love Newsies for some reason. Alright, so I'm going to go with War Horse. The Color Purple. Mm-hmm.

I mean, there's no reason for you not to win this thing, but I really like trying. You're slowing down. Yeah, me too. Slowing way down. Got to really think it through. Come up with more of that Spielberg magic.

Animaniacs. Oh, how good was Animaniacs? Oh, my God. I have one, so don't say it. Don't get the one I'm thinking of. Oh, don't say the one you're thinking of? I can only think of one right now. I've got one that you're not thinking of.

Okay. This is exciting. This is exciting. This is exciting. Just put his microphone down. It's all over for Danny. Papa Duncan. DT, the extraterrestrial. No, I'm going to go with

the Sugar Land Express. Okay, I'm glad you said that one because I couldn't think of that. Right? That's a hard one to think of. That was going on. Yeah. Shit. Good one. Hey, that ginkgo biloba

is working good. Ginkgo biloba. Joe? AI. AI. AI, full title. Artificial intelligence. Yeah, just say the words that those letters mean. Yep.

Okay. Wait, he did an Allen Iverson movie? Yeah. I just thought that. There you go. He might have, Iverson might have been in Amistad. Dang, that's amazing. He might have Iverson might have been

In Amistad Dang That's amazing Okay You got another one Joe? Well Amistad was my next one So now I got Right?

That's tough We're killing it here I gotta get into More recent I think Right? Yeah Or earlier. Yeah, we did.

Those are the two choices. We did Bridges, Spies, and War Horse. Either more recent or not. We're best picture nominees. But you know what? You're our winner regardless. Okay. Yeah.

So congratulations on that. Michelle, come get your winnings. Oh, I gotta give you my... Oh yeah, don't forget Joe's stuff. The baseball. There you go. Let's just go down the line

and say it once again Danny Trejo has an Indiegogo if you type in his name there I'll also I gave more information about it during the commercial break on this show so yeah go fund social security yeah we'll have a lot of fun yeah there you go Danny Trejo commercial break on this show. So, yeah, go fund Social Security. Do it!

Yeah, we'll have a lot of fun. Yeah, there you go, Danny Traynor. Joe Mazzella's movie, Undrafted, is available in theaters in 20 cities and on VOD, so you have no excuse not to check it out on July 15th. Yes, very good. You're good at this.

Awesome. And Josh Wolfe! not to check it out on July 15th. Yes, very good. You're good at this. And Josh Wolfe, thank you for coming. Oh, tour dates on my website, comedianjoshwolfe.com, but also, I do a podcast called Fairly Normal,

so if anybody wants to check that out, which it sounds like you guys are excited about, yeah, that's it for me I thought you had another Steven Spielberg movie I don't know I'll remember one on the way home I'll call you one more time for my guest Josh Wolf Joe Mazzello Time for my guests, Josh Wolf, Joe Mazzello, and Danny Trejo.

And as always, Donald Trump supporters are a shithead. And this whole 2016 presidential election is a shithead. Once again, today's episode is brought to you in part by Spotify's Discover Weekly. Discover Weekly allows you to lose yourself every week in the thrill of new music discovery. Your Discover Weekly playlist is 30 songs you didn't know you loved yet. You get a brand new, unique playlist every Monday, personalized to your taste. Go to Spotify.com slash Discover Weekly now to get your playlist. Now it's time for Doug to watch another

talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!