Doug Loves Movies - Dave Foley, Chelsea Peretti, Martin Starr, and Samm "The Ma'am" Levine Guest

Episode Date: May 24, 2012

Doug welcomes comedians and actors Dave Foley, Chelsea Peretti, Matin Starr, and Samm "Lil' Wolverine" Levine to the show....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug makes candy wrappers, screaming babies, Sticky seeds with 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, Because Doug loves movies! Where is it? Where are my words? Here they are. We'll cut this part out. Hey, everybody.

Before I go too far, I just feel a little bit off because Jordan isn't here tonight. Yeah, I mean, there's very lovely people in the front row instead of Jordan, but he tweeted me today that he wasn't going to be here, so just everybody remember

that if anything goes wrong tonight, it's because it's the first show that Jordan didn't come to. I love movies! My name is Doug! This is Doug Hart Cinema, coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday, May 22nd

to Oceans 12. Since last I spoke, you listened. The cake from the show in Bloomington, Indiana did end up all over the street outside the comedy attic, and I assume the possum got home safely. If you haven't heard that episode, that probably sounds pretty

strange. Baltimore, do you have your tickets to... Did I scare anybody with that? Baltimore, do you have your tickets to see Douglas Movies live at the Comedy Factory on June 9th at 420? Or do you have plans to watch the Belmont Stakes to see if I'll Have Another

wins the Triple Crown? You're not into that. Are you, Baltimore? I don't remember seeing any of... I didn't remember seeing the Kentucky Derby on the wire. Now it's time for... That's the only thing that ever happened in Baltimore,

right? That and Barry Levinson movies. Who's calling me right now? Hang on just a second, you guys. I can't believe that someone would call me right now. Hey, what's up? What? To who? Lolita?

You got the wrong number, man. You called the wrong podcast. You're gonna fuck with Doug Lowe's movies podcast. Now it's time for tweet relief. Tweets about movies. At Nicole Klepper tweeted, The balls are coming from inside the house.

Hashtag dog in a horror film. This has been... Really? I don't really like that one. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Nashville, a.k.a. Hashville, this weekend, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday at 420. All the shows at Zany's are at 420, and I know the weather will be beautiful,

and you'll be out on a boat or some shit, but please stop by if you can to celebrate Memorial Day weekend with me, Graham Elwood, another super excited about, I am super excited about, special guest who's flying in for it, and I think Zanis has a two-for-one deal if you want

to come Saturday and Sunday, which will give you two chances to win a seat in the Memorial's Day, Memorial's Day? Douglo's Movies taping. From the corrections department, yeah, Gunslinger's a movie. I get it. I've heard about it from everyone.

Lennon didn't know. She just guessed Gunslinger, hoping it was a movie, and she didn't know anything about it. She was just guessing, so shut up. I'd call anyone who continues to talk to me about it a Gunslinger. I can't.

Did you see the picture of me with the bag with me in the gunt? Look at that. See what I'm talking about? Yeah, it's disgusting. And it's not going to come up again later in the show and you'll see why in a second. What else from the corrections department? Oh, and I can't believe

none of my guests in Bloomington had ever heard or seen the movie My Bodyguard. Isn't that weird? You guys know that movie, right? No? You don't? Alright, well you're like a... What are you, uh... What are you, in the Russian company

of newsies? Alright, so... The listeners love humor like that, where you just talk about stupid appearance jokes. Not that your appearance is stupid, I'm I just talk about stupid appearance jokes. Not that your appearance is stupid. I'm saying my joke about it was stupid. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That.

The number one movie at the U.S. box office is The Avengers, which is based on a creative series of comic books created by artists. The number two movie is Battleship, which is based on a lie. So watch Avengers, not Battleship. This has been

Watch This, Not That. I'm gonna see it, though. It looks pretty good. I'm excited about it. Alright, so the prize bag is, you've got the gun bag from Chicago, and the comic book that came with it, Trouble Club. It's a fun improvised comic book.

I got a Weezer thing in here. I got a Benson CD in there. And then we've also got, this is where we really take it up a notch, we've got some amazing CDs and DVDs. We've got the music of Rooneyoney the music of Wyclef Jean the DVD the good the bad and the ugly and another DVD called hooligans and thugs soccer's most violent fan fights so that's certainly worth happening and then very much like oh we got a scrunchie.

A yellow scrunchie. And then, much like last week, we have t-shirts and posters. Let me give out some posters of just random people here. There you go. Don't show anybody what it says. Keep it a secret. Everyone sitting in the other parts are going to be like, well, we sat in the worst spot. We're not getting these posters.

That we can go home and put up on our walls or we can throw down on the ground as soon as we get outside. They're nice posters, though. Do you want one? You get two. I like your attitude. You can have one also. Now everybody knows where they should sit next time. Probably won't have a stack of posters next time. Let's see, we also got multiple t-shirts in here, I think.

So let's give away, yeah, let's give away two of those the old-fashioned way. Yeah, let's get the t-shirt cannon going. That's what I call my right arm, the t-shirt cannon. Boom! All right, so somebody else is going to win a shirt. And these shirts and posters say six-month rule on them because we got some more cast members from the upcoming movie, Six-Month Rule.

And other prizes were contributed by other guests. So please welcome Dave Foley, Martin Starr, Chelsea Peretti, and Sam the Man Levine, a.k.a. Lil Wolverine! Lil Wolverine! Lil Wolverine! Oh, and also Dave Foley's daughter. Dave Foley's daughter is here. Oh, you sat in the perfect spot, Sam. Oh, no.

Thank you. Thank you. I want you guys to know right away, the Soccer Hooligans DVD was for me. All right, Sam. We all agree that you're better than everyone. It's true. My Soccer Hooligan DVD collection is second to none, sir.

Sam is here. Martin Starr is here. It's a mini Freaks and Geeks reunion, you guys. I pulled it together with two phone calls. I made it happen. One was through a publicist, but I made it happen, and I'm so excited about it. How are you doing, Martin?

Great. This is your second appearance on the show. Correct. And I have a feeling that during the time between the two appearances, you've still decided to stick to monosyllabic or one-word answers whenever asked a question. Maybe.

It worked great the first time. So he's going to give it another shot. And hopefully none of those words will be swear words because not only is Dave Foley here, everybody, but also his young nine-year-old daughter. Alina Foley. is Dave Foley here, everybody, but also his young nine-year-old daughter, Alina Foley,

Alina Foley is here. And she, you know, she can sit close to you. She can pull the chair all the way over to where you are if you want.

Do you want to sit over here? Yeah, yeah. Can she do that? Yeah. Yeah, just lug your chair over there. Yeah, yeah. You stay where you are.

Yeah, yeah. What's that guy up to? Looks like a young Woody Allen. So many layers to that joke. Really are. So you can share a microphone with her. Can she say hi to everybody? Hi, everybody.

Oh, my God. I love it. And I think you got about two minutes into the show before saying fuck in front of her. What? When did I say that? In the opening. You made it worse.

I know, that's what I'm saying. I wrote it down. Fuck is not... There we go. Swear jar. Let's get the swear jar going. Clink. So, but Dave and Martin are in the six-month rule together.

Is that a movie you could talk about the premise in front of your nine-year-old? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, right? Because it's about? It's about a guy who doesn't like to be committed into a relationship. Right? And he believes that he can get over any relationship in six months. Right? Is that based on the premise? He likes to be like in the fuck-bud zone.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. Earmuffs. Earmuffs. Earmuffs. It's not easy. It would be easy enough to get through one sentence chelsea peretti is here everybody and uh does that sound right to you the six month rule do you think like uh steve harvey's is a little

more palatable he has a think like a man yes think like a man he details like a 90 day waiting period which is still outrageous but I'm gonna start doing it a waiting period for

are we talking about sex no no sorry you were he believes that he can completely get over anyone in six months

oh I totally I only have I only have listen I only heard the waiting period six months seems Oh, I totally, I only have, I only have, listen, I only heard the waiting period. Six months seems optimistic to me.

Like, I think it takes a good year. Well, how long were they together? I mean, I don't know. It's half the time.

Martin plays the best friend in the movie. So he probably, oh, hold on. I need water. My mom put a lot of water

on my head. I don't blame her. I don't blame her. I don't blame her. Everybody out here has got a water but her, and it's completely unfair. Martin, could you? Thank you very much. Martin's going to go backstage and get her another water.

When he was on Party Down, he went method. And he knows exactly how to give people what they need in terms of their refreshments. I just saw the one where him and a glam rocker changed places and he thought it would get him lots of... Could you distract her for a second? Some pussy and

and didn't work out for the guy. Oh, here's Martin with the water. There you go. Ladies and gentlemen, Martin Starr. There we go. Can you open that? How do you spell her name, Dave?

I'm sorry to interrupt. A-L-I-N-A. And what is her social security number? I'm proud I knew how to spell her name. Do people get it wrong a lot when they see it written, like teachers? I don't know. Do people get your name wrong? Do they go Illini? I don't know, people who get your name wrong.

Do they go Illini? So far, I've had good luck, and all my teachers have been able to pronounce my name correctly. This is the best thing that's ever happened on this show. Yeah. I can't. Finally, a polite guest who gets to the point, is happy to be here.

As soon as we get home tonight, we're Netflixing Super Jaime. Oh, no. Yeah, you got to warn her about Uncle Doug. Do you have a favorite movie? Yeah, favorite movie movie Me or her? Her Alright I've completely lost interest in you

If you want to go sit in the back I'm cool with that What's your favorite movie, sweetheart? I actually have no idea No idea? But I do like animal movies I like Let's see

Animal House What's that? it's an animal movie you'll see someday but there is a horse in it probably no rush no rush right now

like what's a good animal what's a good animal movie do you like Marley and Me? actually I cry through that but it's it's sad it's very sad

sorry to have brought it up it's so sad when they put Owen Wilson down at the end of the movie so sad I like Bugs Life. Points to Daddy because

Daddy also likes Bug Life. Have you been to the Bugs Life section at the Disney resorts? Yeah, I did. Voices, we go there all the time. Since my dad's been in Disney movies, we actually get a pretty good deal there. There's going to be no games in this show.

I'm talking to her the whole time. We get a guide, and so we don't exactly have to wait in any lines there. We get to push crippled people out of the way. And get on ahead of them. It's true, we do. It's true, you know we do. You know it.

So now we don't have to wait five hours to go on Space Mountain. Yeah. Why are you plotting? You might be behind us when we get in front of you. But at Disney's California Adventure, they're building a whole cars area right next to Bugs Life. Are you worried that the bugs will get run over? No, because I will put bug crossing signs all over the place.

Taking care of business. She's going to put up bug crossing signs. Did you teach her yes and out of the womb? She is with it. Those were her first words instead of daddy. Yeah. Yeah, get some of that water. Get it.

Get it. Oh, honey, they outlawed ice cream. Oh, no, never mind. Remember you said itakes a long time ago Just forgot how to do it now Do it here Do a spittake Right

Yeah I'm not exactly sure I want to spit out water Alright fine Yeah spit it on these guys Look at these Look at these Russian news boys

Just spit in their direction It'll be fine This is like reverse So start to drink And then I'll tell you something That'll make you spit it out You can do it Russian news boys. Just spit in their direction. It'll be fine. So start to drink and then I'll tell you something that'll make you spit it out. You can do it. All right, here we go. Hey, did you hear

they found your dad splattered on a windshield? There's a new spit take in town. Chelsea, say something shocking to me, Chelsea. Say something shocking to me. You have a bald spot. It's a very elegant spit take. Slow, it's slow.

Slow burn. Alright. What time is it? What's happening? Yes. Alright. Alright. This was inevitable.

I saw Martha, Marcy, Mae, Marlene thing. Those are the other four people waiting in line? What did you see? How'd you like it? I saw Martha, Marcy, May, Marlene thing. Those are the other four people waiting in line? What did you see?

How'd you like it? It was good. It was really good. It was interesting. But I don't like movies where there's not closure at the end. Oh, spoiler alert. All right. Or maybe you're tricking us.

Maybe I am. And there is no twist at the end. Maybe there is closure and I'm an idiot. How about that? It's a possibility. It's a distinct possibility. Sometimes I watch movies not paying attention. But I don't know. You like that movie?

Do you think this part is going to make it into the final show? Like after we've done it? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. What else have you... That's the most recent movie you saw? No, I also saw I Netflixed that and Our Idiot Brother.

Some people are into it? They work on it? What about you, Martin? Have you had time to go to the cinema lately? Have you seen Avengers? I saw Avengers. Yeah, and? I liked it. I think it's safe to say now

because people keep asking me because a few weeks ago I said that something in Avengers made me laugh really super hard for like a few minutes and people keep writing me going, what was it?

I thought it was pretty obvious what it was. Yeah. I think I know. Right? It's when they all die at the was. Yeah. I think I know. Right? It's when they all die at the end. Yeah. No, I...

So now when people ask me on Twitter which part made me laugh so hard, I just write back, Hulk smash Loki. Is all I write. And that's a hilarious part to me, but I guess there's other parts that were funny, so people don't know which is which. Chelseasea have you seen it the avengers no dave let me ask

you this but why haven't you seen it it's not it doesn't appeal to you at all or eventually i want to see it for sure um i saw that documentary about the guy who makes sushi. Yeah. Smart response. What is that called? Something. Somebody likes sushi. Yoji likes sushi. Oh, dreams of.

Dreams of. Yoshi. Jiro. Jiro. Dreams of sushi. Dreams of sushi. Sushi. Did you like it?

I enjoyed it. It made me really want to eat some sush. Who's with me? Yeah. Everybody. You some sush. Who's with me? Yeah. Everybody. You like sush? Well, actually, I'm a vegetarian. Boo.

Boo. Strict vegetarian. No sush. I actually want to eat anything that's ever touched meat. What if it's touched fish? No. Because fish and meat kind of did the same thing. It's true.

Oh, snap. Too bad you didn't have water in your mouth when she said that. No, you're right. She was wrong. You were dead right. I feel like a real dum-dum. Pescatarians are just assholes. Smart guys. Smart guy.

Smart guy. She's shutting it down. Yep. So what have you seen? Oh, you saw the sushi thing. Dave, what have you seen? Have you gone to the movies with your daughter?

What have I seen? Well, we just saw Pirates, a band of misfits. Right, because if they didn't add a band of misfits, you'd be like, what are pirates?

Yeah. And what are they up to? I love that they completely eliminate Darwin from the advertising. Because Darwin's like a villain in it. Oh, yeah. Charles Darwin? Charles Darwin.

Much like in life. No, Bill Darwin. Yeah. Darwin Barney, second highest with the Cubs. Oh. Always with the Cubs, this guy. That's right. If you follow him on Twitter, you have to read Cubs win whenever they win.

So it's not that often, but you still have to read it. It's like 15 times this year, so it's terrible. And we're two of the few people that saw John Carter. Did you like it? We loved it. Yes, it was actually really amazing. Great computer animation. It was one of the most believable computer animations that I've ever seen.

Yep. What? Who would have imagined she'd be a better guest on this show than you? I wouldn't say that. Just as nice as her daddy. It's like all her lines are scripted. And you know that can't be the case

because Doug would never remember the setups. Yeah, I've been setting her up pretty good. So, it says here that you like animals. It's a rumor going around town. Did you hear about Dave Foley's daughter? Well, thank you all for coming. It's a little late. It's Adam Canuck on Twitter tweeted,

just once I'd like to hear Doug Benson ask his guests if they reindeer for games. To which I say, happy now, Adam Canuck? You just confused a nine-year-old. You jerk. She prefers it when Gary Sinise does not play a bad guy. So I'll ask what I normally ask, which is, do you hunger for games? Does anyone hunger for games?

I hunger for games. This is the part where we play some games, and this first game, if she would like to participate, I would be happy to have her play. We'll see if she can pull it off. The basic idea of this game is it's called ABCD Nuts, and the idea is

that we start We'll start with Sam And he has to name a movie Any movie that begins with the letter A And then we go to Martin who has B And on and on Until somebody can't think of one quickly enough Or they repeat one

Or they say one that's not actually a movie There's lots of ways you could get knocked out You think we're going through the alphabet twice? We might You'd be amazed Sam is here Are we playing going through the alphabet twice? We might. Now I have a question for you. You'd be amazed. Sam is here. Are we playing this with the rules that you usually enforce, which is no articles in front of the word?

You can't do a the movie unless it's T. If the letter's T, you can say the Godfather, but if the letter's G, you can't say the Godfather. Nothing in the same rules for A and N? A's not as big a deal. Can you just say Godfather? If you want to say N education. You just go with Godfather? No. That's what I'm saying. So Godfather works for G. Godfather's clarifying. Or no, Godfather rules for A and N? A is not as big a deal. Can you just say Godfather? If you want to say N, education. You just go with Godfather? No, that's what I'm saying.

So Godfather works for G? You got to be careful. No, Godfather works for T, not G. That's it, yeah. Okay. All right. It's very strict. And you'd like me to start?

And Owen, but there's one extra wrinkle. I'm not going to play, but just like in Cash Cab, you know the street shout out? Yeah. If you don't think you can come up with one, just say that you want a dugout. Just say, dugout, and then I will help you that one time. One time.

You only get one dugout during the course of the game. Sounds amazing. Is there anything I can do for an extra dugout? And I might not come up with something. I might be, the pressure might be too much for me, and then you've wasted your dugout. I wasted my dugout. Right, well, the street shout-out doesn't guarantee a correct answer.

Exactly. They never know it. They never know. Like, one time there was this old lady. They pulled her over and they go, what kind of Japanese poem? And she goes, I don't know. Like, before the end of Japanese,

like, just Japanese poem, before the part about the syllables and the sentences. And wouldn't you just guess Japanese poem? Maybe it's haiku? Geisha writings. Yeah. That would have been a better guess. But she was great.

She was just like, I don't know. All right. So we start with Sam. Letter A, go. About a boy. Oh, good one. Martin, letter B. Bronson.

Oh, nice. Oh, not a single woman in the crowd responded to that. Chelsea, C. City of Gods. Very good. Dave, you got D. Double Indemnity. Yeah.

Can you think of a movie that begins with E? Elephant Tale. I don't care if it's a movie or not. I'm taking it. Yep. Fargo. F for it. Fargo. F for Sam. Fargo.

Grandma's Boy. Grandma's Boy is a good G. This might go forever. H to Chelsea. Probably not. Three, two, H. What'd you say? I said you do it.

Oh, you want the dugout? Yeah. Fine. Okay, I'll go House of Cards. Okay. All right. I, End of the Sixth Happiness. Nice.

There you go. Ooh, indeed. Jay. Jay. Jack and the Beanstalk? Sure. They did with, what's his name, Kerwin Matthews? No, Kerwin Lansk.

I forget. K2, Sam. K2. The ultimate high. L. Land of the Lost. Exactly. M.

Moonstruck. You're embarrassed Lost. Exactly. M. Moonstruck. You're embarrassed to be good at it. N. Never Ending Story. Yes. Oh! Oh! Oh, she's taking her dugout! Good one.

Okay, oh god. Police Academy 4, Citizens on Patrol. Q for Martin. Huh? What happened? Something go wrong? Oh, we forgot P? I just said Police Academy 4.

You have to leave now. You're fired from the corrections department. Q for Martin. It's a tough one. Hold on a second. I think I can come up with one. Hang on. He looks like he's got one What are you gonna go with?

It's a big question mark Quiz show Very good Nice No help on that one R for Chelsea Rushmore S for Dave

Sand Pebbles It's not Sand Pebbles It's not Sand Pebbles You're out Dave's out Yay I'm out She cries Yay I'm out So she still has to do

An S S S Sass Snow White Snow White And what else? Snow White and sweet. Snow White. And what else? Snow White and what?

Why? Why? Why would you do this? Oh, and the seven dwarves? Yes! Yeah! The Godfather. You just had to, didn't you? I really did.

You to Martin. No help. All right. I'm done. Hold on. It's your podcast. I'm done. Hold on. It's your podcast. I think I can do this. If I just concentrate. See, the game will never end this way.

U-5. Sorry, U-571. That's correct. V. I don't know. Oh, that's great. That's a great one. Can I do that? Which one?

Which one are you thinking? This is making Sam have a heart attack. I don't know why it's not giving you one. You never know which one you're going to get in these shows. You're here. There's no reason for both of us to flip out. Jesus. Oh, you want me to flip out? Shut the fuck up out there. It's a game.

No, it sounds very helpful. It's a game. You want me to bring TJ and Pete Holmes out here? Yeah! It's a fucking game. Yeah! You want me to bring TJ and Pete Holmes out here? Yeah! It's a fucking game! Yeah! You want his tiny adamantium claws coming at you? Coming after you? Because he will shave you.

He will circumcise you. So you say Vicky, Christina, Barcelona? Yes. Okay, so it's a W to... Wally. Wally.

She is so good. She is so good. It's crazy. Oh, Sam gets... X-Men. X-Men. Y to Martin. You have...

I'm going to talk over the audience. You have the letter Y, Martin. What are you going to do? Three, two... Youth and revolt. Wow, he can do it with their help, on his own. He's got it all. Z.

Z is a hard one tweet wait wait wait Sam sit down I've got this oh no wait I was going to say you're wrong that's the zookeeper but it really is just zookeeper that's a great guy over here

I'm not upset with that I just thought I could get them on a technicality. But I wasn't able to. So, okay, you still going with Zoolander? Yeah. I mean, zookeeper. Oh, that's a great one. You got one for next time.

Wait, wait, it's the Zoolander, I'm pretty sure. It's the Zoolander. Nope. So, we're back to A. Oh, I didn't know you were doing it again. Hey, the feeling is mutual. It's hard to believe, isn't it?

We'll give you a second. But just a movie begins with A. Trying to think of an animated... Oh! It came out and was the rival movie to Bug's Life about some different insects.

She's got to think of it. Actually, A Bug's Life. Oh, shit. Good job. Sam is not going to live through this show. This is fine. This is fine. This is fine. It's your podcast, man.

Because in your household, there's no such thing as ants, right? No ants allowed at the Foley house. What? You've seen ants, actually, I think. I have? I think so, yeah. You didn't like it as much.

Well, I've never heard of the movie, but I do like Ants and the Bugs. Yeah. It's just a cute, probably the best show you've ever done. B, Sam, Beautiful Girls. Okay. C, Martin.

My turn, Martin. My turn. Martin. Letter C. Three, two, one. Cars. It always gets there. D for you. Dear Zachary.

Wow. That was like the boys like Bronson, the girls like Dear Zachary. Okay, so E again to you. Same letter you had one other time. Can I do the same thing as last time? No. Yes, you can.

You got to think of a whole new one. You can. Another team. Okay, you guys are out. Everything must go. She said yay! She's getting a participation trophy for sure. Everything must go.

Your favorite movie. I didn't even see it. I know you didn't. You and I have history with that movie. Why are you bringing up old wounds? And you're giving Martin more time to think. F. What was the one last time?

The last F? Yeah. Was, um... Oh, I was going to say something dirty. Far and away. Wow. You should go on Celebrity Jeopardy. That would be amazing.

What is far and away? Alex. Okay, Chelsea gets G. Gone with the Wind. Excellent. No, we're out. We're out. Yeah, you don G. Gone with the Wind. Excellent. No, we're out. We're out. Yeah, you don't get to play anymore.

Those guys are gone. It's time to start crying, little girl. He's talking to me. Look at her. She doesn't even give a shit. He almost said shit. That shit is great. Yeah.

Hard Bodies. Hard Bodies. That was a classic. Yes, it is It was on last night Yeah I took Martin I know

I know right And they invited people to watch it It's ridiculous how long it keeps going Martin gets I I Is it my turn? Mm-hmm I

As Nicki Minaj would say I, I, I, I, I, I, I What? That counts as rap now. What? Yeah, and then she says something about Fallujah. It doesn't make any sense at all. It doesn't count as rap.

That's what I'm saying. Okay, you're out. I still have a dugout. Oh, that's right, iRobot. But I haven't chosen to use it yet. Oh, okay. What are you going to go with? The Illusionist.

No, I can't use that. Yeah, it's got a T in there. So now you're definitely out. Okay. Chelsea. Thank you. I. Goodbye.

I? Oh, I'm not on J? No. I was all set up for I. J. Yeah, he got knocked out, so you have to go I. Inner space? Yeah.

Yeah. I could have gone I robot that I just said a little while ago. I fucking did it. Okay, so now we're back to you, square jar. Jacob the liar. Yeah, jar. Jacob the liar. Yeah, sure, Jacob's ladder. K, yeah. Klonopin.

Is that a movie? Sam Levine is our winner, everybody. Yay, Sam, you all. It's a bittersweet victory. I don't like defeating children. You didn't even have to use your dugout. Next time. Yeah, I'm sure. It's a bittersweet victory. I don't like defeating children. You didn't even have to use your dugout. Next time.

Yeah, I'm sure. No, I wanted to play head-to-head with you, but I had to stop playing because I'm just so good at it. I know you are. You're the best. It's just stupid. So let's do one quick round of the Leonard Maltin game, and let's see your name tags, everybody. If each of the contestants on stage can jump up and

go pick out a name tag you'd like to play for, just grab it. Who spent the least amount of time on theirs? Just grab it and bring it back to your seat. And you get to keep his phone. Just grab whoever you want to play for, Martin and Chelsea. Dave, you guys should be a team down there. You pick somebody.

I'll go Zach. Alright, he's going to pick that one over there. Chelsea still has to... Don't read the bad word on the back. I'll be doing Doug Lowe's movies at the Gramercy Theater in New York on July 2nd. Throw that plug in there

while they're doing that. Who'd you get, Sam? I forget how this game works. I got Justin. Justin. He gave me his... What is this? And it's on his phone. An iPod. And it went off and it's cracked.

Touch. So we're working here four gigs, eight gigs, 16. What's the deal? It's my Jimmy Pardo. What are you doing? What is it, Justin? Come on, tell me. Tell me.

How many gigs are you working with? How many gigs? All right. So you're playing for Justin. And Martin's playing for Nick, a.k.a. the dude. And he's got a piece of rug on there, and he says the rug ties the room together. And then he's also got a little bowling alley drawing,

and it says Market Zero. So these are all references to the film Kingpin, obviously. And Chelsea has a crazy sign with... It looks kind of like Chip Pope. That's Andy's face on there. And it says, do it! And Chelsea's looking at the back like, is there a shithead written on the back?

So don't say what it's written on the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a secret for later. And swear jar, that's correct. She won't let anything slide. Who are you playing for, Dave? Zach to the future? Zach to the future? Whose face is that instead of

Zach here? Okay. And then he's got his S head on the back for later? Okay, don't reveal it. Don't say who it is. If he loses, I have to name that person. I will be swearing three times at the end, just a heads up

for the square John Browneter over there. I told you. And you guys can play as a team. And since Sam won, he gets to go first in this round of Leonard Maltin. And you'll get the hang of it as we go, Dave. First, Sam gets to pick a category. Would you like, suggested by Gookie Kooky, would you like Run, Forest, Run? That's movies where there's some sort of chase in a forest.

Oh. Or would you like It's Laurence Olivier's Birthday Today, if he were still with us. I mean, it's still his birthday. Sure. So it's films of Laurence Olivier. Or finally, BJMueller44 on Twitter suggested

Hanks for Nothing, and that's Tom Hanks movies that Leonard Maltin gave one star or less. Wow. Yeah. So which one of those categories would you like to play, Sam? Let's go Run

Forest Run, Sam's interesting. Okay. Seems interesting to you? Okay. I like the notion. I find this fascinating. Now, since we are late on time, so it's the first person, this is just one round, the first person to take it down is going to be our winner. Wow. Yeah, I know.

That's what happens. Pressure's on. I'm freaking out. What'd you say? Pressure's on. Pressure's on. That's right out. What'd you say? Pressure's on. Pressure's on. That's right. 1983, Sam.

All right. This movie that has a chase in a forest. Three and a half stars from Leonard Maltin. He says about this movie that it is... Wow, everything gives it away. Oh, he calls it sentimental. And he also says about it that it is... Oh, it's got routine performances.

Oh. Sentimental routine performances from 1983. Three and a half stars from Leonard. And features some sort of chase in the forest. From 1983, three and a half stars from Leonard, and features some sort of chase in the forest. And he lists six, seven, eight, eleven, fifteen names. That is an enormous amount of names. Yeah.

So how many names do you think you can name this movie in, Sam? And Sam will bid, and then Dave will either bid lower or say Sam Levine named that movie. I will say fourteen names. So that's a lot of names. So if you're not a little shaky on the rules Dave you want to just bring the bidding down yeah you don't want to show off if you don't think you know what the what movie it is yeah oh it's me yeah I think I can name it in 10. 10's a good guess. Now we go to Chelsea.

She can say a little less, or she can ask Dave to name it. I really don't understand what's happening. Every time. I never do. I love it. I probably never would, under any circumstances, know what's happening right now. What do you guys think she should do? Name it. I probably never would under any circumstances know what's happening right now. Less...

What do you guys think she should do? Oh, name it? You can either tell them to name it or you can bid less names. I wish I'd paid attention to the description of the movie. Okay, well I'll give you the clues again. They're running through a forest.

I'll give you the clues again. Now I'm an expert. They are running through a forest. They're running through a forest. They are wild things and the forest is where they are. No, that's not the movie. This is older than that. 1983.

83. Three and a half stars from Leonard. So he pretty much liked it. Yeah, and he says that it has routine performances, and it's sentimental. And then you get 10, right? 10 names out of 13. 15.

15. All right. I still have confidence in you to be able to name this movie the correct title of this film. And you will be the winner on behalf of Zach to the future. Your 10 names are Frank Oz, James Earl Jones,

Warwick Davis, Dennis Lawson, Kenny Baker, Alec Guinness, David Prowse, Ian McDiarmid. What? Sebastian Shaw and Peter Mayhew. So easy. What do you think that is? So easy.

What is that, Dave? 83. 83, yeah. 83. Come on. You can do it. Was it The Empire Strikes Back? No, it was not.

It was Return of the Jedi. Chelsea is our winner. How is that possible? Congratulations. That's what I love about that game. I have no idea what I'm doing. Well, you're winning. It feels great.

That's what you're doing. It feels great. In the words of Charlie Sheen. One more round, Doug? No, we don't. That's it. We ended almost perfectly on time. We still got to do plugs, and we got to get the shitheads.

So let's figure that out. So Chelsea wins. So where's Andy to come get your prizes? He's right over there. Come on, Andy. Sorry. You're welcome for not taking his side.

Oh, it says it on the back? It all worked out. Let me see what it says. Okay, well, you know, you won, so you don't get to name your old roommate Frank as a shithead.

And there's your prizes. Congratulations, Andy. And Zach's got it written on the back. Dude, enjoy those soccer hooligan DVDs. So we need Sam and Martin's people they were playing for to come write it down for me, who they want me to call a S-head at the end of the show. I may even say S-head,

because I've already put a fortune in the swear jar. People are writing down people that they want. She just said, so what's going on? Let me ask her another question though. I think she's the voice of every listener. What's her name is Reason.

What's the is she looking for? Are you looking forward to any movies that are coming out soon well actually I actually oh there's this one movie about I think

to the Arctic it's called I think but I'm seeing a commercial for that yes about the polar bears

oh polar bears one of nature's most vicious creatures so cute commercial for that? Yes, about the polar bears. Oh, polar bears. One of nature's most vicious creatures. So cute. Loved by children the world over. And if those polar bears had a chance, they would kill and eat every last one of them. It's true.

Was that a Morgan Freeman impression? So Sam Levine, anything you want to plug before we take off here? Yeah, it's not going to be on for a while, but I have a new show coming on NBC February of next year called Do No Harm. It got picked up for mid-season next year. It might show up earlier, though, right? It might. If something really does terribly, then yeah. Yeah, sure.

All right. Good luck with that. Thanks, buddy. He's done a show called, then yeah. Yeah, sure. He's done a show called Do No Harm. Uh-oh. We're back to polar bears. That they will kill and eat you. I'm going to be rescuing polar bears when I grow up.

So that's the last thing they would do is kill or eat you. They'd be like, you saved us. I've been in captivity from the time they were cubs, so hopefully their natural instincts will not take in in thinking that I am a fetch. Did you see that movie

like the grizzly guy? Just bring the polar bear or Coca-Cola. You'll be fine. They love Coke. I've watched many documentaries On Arctic and Antarctic life And the polar bear is Most of the time a gentle giant I hope we don't see a movie one day

Called Polar Woman Go see Six Month Rule with Martin Starr and Dave Foley and anything else you guys got coming up you want people to know about? I'll get to you, Chelsea. I'll get to you. Go see the Polar Bear movie.

Coming out. Dave, anything else? Six Month Rule, right? I'll hold there. The League. Oh, The League Oh The League I play Ellie in The League It is I actually forget which channel it's on

It's on the FX network I'm actually not allowed to watch it That show's fucking filthy It's true It really is We're ruining a child It takes a village I'm sure she's seen Jason Manzoukas

What worse can we do Than run into that guy Or Nick Kroll Who's your favorite actor on the league? You know Actually it's a tough choice. Is it a five-way tie? Well, everybody on it is really nice to be there.

And they always try their best not to swear in front of me. And I appreciate you guys trying. At Chelsea Peretti, what's going on? Okay, I'm going to be at Sasquatch. I'm going to be at the Comedy Attic in Bloomington. Don't know the dates, but soon. Chicago, the Lincoln Lodge. Soon. Don't know the dates.

All your dates can be found at ChelseaParetti.com. Yeah. No, I never do that. I tweet them. I tweet them. Chelsea P. Peretti. Yeah, yeah. P-E-R-E-T-T-I.

Yeah, that's right. Thank you very much. I know how to spell it. Thank you so much to everybody For being here And what a fun show that was And as always The

OKC Thunder Is a shithead Lauren Andrew Lloyd Webber Is a shithead And the people who yelled out the answers During the game is a shithead. And the people who yelled out the answers during the game are a shithead. No, no! I disagree. I disagree.