Doug Loves Movies - Dave Foley, Sean Cullen, and J.P. Manoux Guest

Episode Date: June 1, 2013

Live at the Comedy Bar in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Doug welcomes Dave Foley, Sean Cullen, and J.P. Manoux to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Lord hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody Hey, everybody. Woo! My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.

Coming to you from Comedy Bar in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It's Saturday, June 1st, 2 Oceans 13. Did you guys bring some name tags? Yeah! Oh, that looks like a mug of some kind. And the lighting, even though they brought the house lights up, I still can't hardly see anything. But there's, oh, that's a good effect.

There's Dave's of Thunder over there. That's a nice one. Is that a volleyball? What does it say on it? Well, it says Wilson because my name is Matt. It doesn't start with a W, so I changed it.

You changed his name to Wilson. You changed Wilson to Wilson because your name is Matt. You changed Wilson to Wilson because your name is Matt. And that makes perfect sense. What is this thing right up front here?

I can't make it out. Karis Bueller's Day Off. Karis Bueller's Day Off? Your name is Kara? Karis. Karis? Yeah. That's your name.

Why didn't you just do Carousel? Oh! If only we'd have thought of that. That's just our safe word. Well, thank you to everybody for bringing name tags in. The guests will be a bit more thorough about going out into the crowd and finding who they want to play for.

Since last I spoke and you listened, I recorded a Dining with Doug and Karen with guest Rory Scovel that is available now in the comedy podcast section of iTunes. It's a special wine episode with Ryan Hess from a place in LA called

Vinotech. This one's not just for foodies, it's also for whinies. Yesterday I did Sean Cullen's podcast, SeanPod, which is now, you can hear it on some channel on SiriusXM. I actually wrote that down, some channel. It's on some channel. But hopefully later in the show we can clear up that down. Some channel. It's on some channel. But hopefully later in the show we can clear up that mystery.

And yesterday I did a guest appearance in Ari Shaffir's show over at the Comedy Underground. Yeah, Comedy Underground at Clandestiny. And it's a 420 venue. And I got hotboxed into Oblivion starring Tom Cruise in theaters now. And Ari returned the favor by appearing in my 420 show here today at Comedy

Bar, and oh, apologies about the spoilers in the Nashville episode, the Fast and Furious 6 spoilers. I apologize for not knowing that there were people who gave a shit about the plot twists of Fast and Furious movies. Turns out there's three of you, and I am very sorry.

I apologize to those three people who did not want to know about it. Turns out there's three of you, and I am very sorry. I apologize to those three people who did not want to know about what's going to happen in that movie. This is the part where I go, the prize bag includes, and then I go through the prize bag and tell you things that are in it. But interestingly enough, all the guests were scrambling to put together the prize bag when the music started playing. So I'm sad in this prize bag.

So we will get them out here and then sort out the whole prize bag situation. Please welcome the aforementioned Sean Cullen plus J.P. Manu and Dave Foley. Thank you. Hello Can I go over there? People love him. People love Dave Foley.

People love Dave Foley. They do. They're quite wrong, too. They cannot get enough of him. I'm going to take full credit for all of that applause. I could tell the audience was like, oh my God, they all live here. How did he do it?

How did he do it? We could see them anytime. How did he do it? We could see them anytime. In fact, we see them on the bus. We see them at like malt shop getting malted. That's Sean Cullen, everybody. I'm sorry. Hello, I'm Sean.

I mentioned your Sean pod earlier. He was a guest on my Sean pod. Yeah, and it'll be out soon for people to listen to. And then you brought for the gift bag... Well, it's a dual situation. A what? There is my hockey card, the Sean Cullen hockey card.

I see that. And this is a book called Homework for Grownups, Everything You Learned at School and Promptly Forgot. And it's kind of like, oh, remember the things you learned? And I wrote the foreword for it. So I thought you'd

might enjoy it. That's great. So that's a bookmark for you. I love your hockey card. We'll see about the foreword. So you're a goon on the comedy team? I'm just angry when my photo gets taken. Other than that, I'm a smiley delight. Look at me, Sean Cullen.

I'm riding the forward to a big fancy book. I've reached a lofty pinnacle. This sounds like you. At some point during the forward, you must write success! Yes! Six twittizens.

JP Manu is also here, everybody. Hi, everybody! JP! JP! Fellow Torontonians we co-started an episode of Yes Dear together we did

I didn't know that we just happened to both get cast in that one I'm still waiting for them to turn Yes Dear into a movie or a sitcom that guy boom that guy Mike O'Malley though though, he is killing it lately. Have you seen him on Justified?

No, I haven't seen it. So good on that show. Let's just get everybody. Dave Foley is here, everybody. A national treasure. The easiest to talk to kids in the hall. Yeah. Pardon?

Of all the kids in the hall, you're the easiest to have a conversation with. That's true. Yeah, that's true. Bruce is a cunt. It's true. Scott never stops talking. And Kevin never stops apologizing.

Oh, so there's just the four of you now? Yeah. Was there another one? Yeah. Oh, that there's just the four of you now? Yeah. Was there another one? Yeah. Oh, that's right. I always forget about McKinney. The world has forgotten about him. That's why he's hard.

What? That's not true. It's not true. It is not true. He's a big wheel. He's a big wheel. That's not true, it is. He's a big wheel.

Yeah. Yeah, he's just hard to talk to because he doesn't exist. I watched a Super Bowl with him once. It was lovely. He loves the football. Yeah, it's because it's very manly. What did you guys bring for the prize offering?

Dave and I are sharing a bag of gifts. Yeah, and I threw some of my stuff into your bag, yeah, because I'm excited about your bag. This was a good year for J.P. Manu to be on Doug Loves Movies, because I was actually in a movie. Oh. That is rare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold your excitement for a second.

What movie? What was it called? The one-star garnering scary movie five. Oh. Everybody signed it. Yeah, I had this Tell them who's on there. Oh my goodness.

So this is the script for Scary Movie 5. Can I guess? First of all, shocked that there was one. Molly Shannon. Yeah, you can tell it's my script

because it's got that watermark all the way across. JP Manu, please don't copy this or give it out or people will know we're doing a weird parody of that. You've got Manmark all the way across. J.P. Manu, please don't copy this or give it out or people will know we're doing a weird parody of that. You've got Manu all over your script.

It's signed by J.P. Manu, Molly Shannon, Heather Locklear, Jerry O'Connell, Erica Ashe, Simon Rex, Ashley Tisdale, Chris Elliott who was cut from the movie. Whatever he did, I didn't see what he did. Whatever he did, it was so bad it was cut from Scary Movie 5. Or it was marginally good.

It threw off the pacing. Inappropriate. Audrina Partridge, Kendra Wilkinson, and Mike Tyson signed this script. He signed it. I didn't know he could write. And I also brought... Also? Also?

Crazy generous I designed a t-shirt I tweeted something a year ago To be fair, t-shirts were designed a long time ago Yes I didn't come up with the t-shirt No It's shaped like a T

It says Art history majors think it's pretty damn clever. That lets me out. Yeah. It's a tiny, tiny demographic. What does it mean? I brought one extra small for girls. This is not a tweet.

And one huge for a guy. As opposed to, this is not a pipe. Exactly. It's an Henri Magritte thing. Ceci n'est pas un peep. Ceci n'est pas un peep. I twisted it. Ceci n'est pas un peep.

Welcome to Canada. T-shirts and a sign script. And I have... Let's see here. I'm going to drag out the suspense. Are you just giving a rubber band? Just joking. You're keeping the poster.

I have a War of the Worlds poster signed by Sean Cullen. He starred in this performance. I played Orson Welles in the stage. Oh, this isn't the original. No. I was playing Orson Welles. Oh, okay. I crawled outson Welles. Oh, okay. I crawled out of his corpse

to play this role. Wait, that's what you brought? Yeah. It's weird, isn't it? From your home? Shut up. So weird how that happened. Yeah, it's an unusual choice.

Yeah. And who's that? Oh, and of course my CD Smug Life is in there, which is available. Show the other two guys. They put this in Walmart. It's in the rap section. Because I jokingly made it look like a rap album, and the joke didn't work.

There's no irony at Walmart. Mm-mm. Oh, no. Welcome to Walmart. Really? no. Welcome to Walmart. Really? Yeah, welcome to Walmart. What's your problem? So, JP, what did you play in Scary Movie 5?

What didn't he play? Right? My storyline was a parody of Black Swan. I was Vincent Cassell from Black Swan. Oh, you were the creepy Russian. I was the over-sexualizing everything French ballet choreographer guy. How could

you parody what he did? Did you fist her right there on the dance floor? Kind of. Because he really went for it. You do pretty gnarly stuff to her? I think it was more that I wanted to fuck inanimate objects. That was how I sort of took it one further. Hot for everything.

I read somewhere that you do a great impression of him. The LA Times is the only place that actually called me out. Makes sense that I read that there. As the one shining part of the movie. They said J.P. Manu does a spot on Vincent Cassell.

Not that the audience of Scary Movie 5 will notice or care. But you're paraphrasing. Like, you didn't memorize that. No, no, it's not like I read it every night before I go to bed and make out with my own headshot. No, I don't do that. You're like on your knees going, please, Lord, give me another,

and then you read it out loud again. David and J.P. are working together right now. We're making a television series program called Spun Out for the CTV network. Yeah, so it's just for Canada. Just for Canada. For now. Yeah, American listeners, fuck off. It can happen.

We're hoping it's even for Canada. You know, we're just... It's set in any town North America, though. So maybe you can get on the Sci-Fi Network. Yeah. It is kind of a crossover. Well, like,

Much Music is playing Supernatural? Well, those are much music is playing Supernatural. Well, those are hot kids, so that's what that... Oh, that's why I had that channel on. Oh. Mm. Oh. Noises.

I like the movie XS Channel. Oh, yeah? Because you can see porn without paying for it. Somebody's paying for it. I'm not. Some father. He's crying every time. I'm smart for him, though, to not look at the porn on the internet,

because your kid could get on the internet and search your history. But erasing it works, right? It's hard to remember to do something like that after I'm done with porn. I'm running around looking for a mop. I just fall unconscious. That's another thing. Yeah, I'm barely awake most of the time right after it. Terrible.

Terrible. No English. right after it. Terrible. No English. Could you do a little of that guy from Black Swan? It's just a ridiculous French accent. And I'm Jean-Paul Christophe Manu.

So it's incredibly shameful to all of my people. Yeah, first... Show us what you can do. I would just sort of sing song my way through any last vowel. Doug Benson, I'm so glad to meet you. Kind of like if William Shatner were French. There's almost a Japanese element to it at the very end.

It's nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you. very it's nice to meet you there's a great Japanese baseball player in Toronto right now he's awesome he doesn't speak any English he did an interview I think after he got a game-winning walk-off double and his interview was I am very happy I am Japanese that was it and then what else do we need to know in the dressing room afterwards he said something like

I am very happy my teammates give me opportunity do you want a hug that was his oh god My teammates give me opportunity. Do you want a hug? That was his answer. Oh, God. Hugs for everyone or just one person that he stared at? I think it was me. It was right into the camera. When can people start seeing Spun Out?

We have no idea. September. We think September. We think it idea. September. We think September. We think it'll be September. But we were hoping for September. September 2016. Yeah. It's a show about the past. And they have to wait for that to happen.

It is rumored to be paired with Angler Management. Charlie Sheen's new show. Oh, that's a great, great, great, great, great show. That's an amazing show. Wow, you seem to really have control of your anger management. I do. But, Sean, the other possibility is Big Bang Theory, which now you're probably torn,

because that's also a great, great... Oh, it's a great, great, great, great show about nerds who wear $400 T-shirts. Yes. This was $20 for the Sklar brothers, I think. Great. But I might have Sean sign it. I will.

And then you can get Dave to give it to someone else. That script's signed by Mike Tyson That's all they really need The rest is fodder It's just something to weigh the bag down Take your book back I once gave away my favorite pair of jeans on your podcast

And I don't think people appreciated it They were like my favorite jeans The jeans made my ass look the best And they were comfy They must have been. Are you telling me they can look better than that? Was that the same episode that you brought your daughter? No, in Austin, I gave away my jeans.

Oh, okay. Did you take them off your ass? No, I brought them with me. I brought them in a bag. That's why they were that. They were nonchalant about it in Austin because one day every summer it rains jeans there. And so the act of giving away jeans means nothing to them. I didn't know.

Yeah. They just have to wait. Because I was also going to give a bridge full of bats away. They have that too. I had a giant statue of a blues musician. No one's ever asked me to go to Austin, or I would have given it away. So with your busy sitcom-making

schedule, Dave, Dave, Dave, I know about your podcasting schedule, Sean. I was part of it. We worked for an hour. Then we did other stuff for a while. We talked. You did other stuff.

What? He put your jeans on. And they looked amazing. Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants. Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants. I had that one written down just in case pants came up. You have a vault of jokes. Dave, have you been to the cinema

or it could be something you watch at home? Have you seen any movies lately? You're saying that like a Senate inquiry. Yes. I'm just giving you... Sir, have you been to the cinema? I'm giving you a lot of leeway. I would like an answer, sir.

Yes, I just don't want you to say, no, I haven't been to the movies. I have been to the movies. Oh, okay. That's perfect. Yes. Do you want me to elaborate? Perhaps mention what I saw.

Please elaborate. I've been recently... You know what? No, let's go on a break. Yes. Do you want me to elaborate? Perhaps mention what I saw. Please elaborate. I've been recently... You know what? No, let's go on a break. Okay. We'll be back. Discuss with your lawyer what you're going to say. We'll get back to you.

Now, what have you seen? I went and saw the Star Trek movie. I saw it twice. Is that like a Canadian thing? It happened earlier to me today. Someone called it. I went and saw Star Trek. It's called Star Trek, no colon,

Into Darkness. Star Trek Into Darkness. Please address it properly. Now, you're just referring to an absence of a colon. It's not actually called no colon Into Darkness. Because having no colon would be a journey into darkness.

It turns out, yes, that Spock not only doesn't have a heart, he also doesn't have a colon. Yeah. So Yuhura gets upset. Because he always wants to shit on her. I thought you were saying that's how she fucks, too. All the time.

Doesn't want to, but... Yeah. He's got to put on his space diaper. He's doing it because it's logical. Why would I keep this inside me when I can shit it out immediately? Why wait? Why keep it inside when I can drop it

on a perfectly beautiful girl? Like it's hot. Yeah. The only time I feel emotion. Did you like it, Dave? I loved it. I went and saw it the first time with my 20-year-old daughter. And I loved it.

And she went... And I stopped loving my daughter. Because I thought it was awesome. I thought it was great. And then went and saw it a second time with somebody that I could stand to look at afterward. Benedict Cumberbatch. That's who you saw it with? Yeah.

Benedict Cumberbatch. He is quite good. That's the most ridiculously English name ever. Yeah. It's like Mr. Englishy McTeabag. Mr. Bulldog McPolish. That's Scottish. Paddington Bear itself

had been the villain in that movie. It would have been less English. Oh, no. Benedict Cumberbatch. Cumberbatch. He has a group of female fans in London who call themselves the Cumberbitches. Where the obvious Cumber Snatch

would have been much better. Or Pow! Possibly Dumber Batch of ladies. I do not think your topper worked. No, it didn't. It was a shit topper. It would have worked on Zoe Saldana. She likes being pooped on.

Referring back to an earlier shit joke. Oh, a Canadian just yelled out from the audience, I think we have somebody that came over from the border or something. Yeah, that's right. Or I hear people in Windsor are upset. That's the scuttlebutt. Is that they're

tired of all the cancer. The Windsor cancer? Right? That's what I said. I mocked it, but they have the most cancer there. Windsor has the most cancer? That's what I said. I mocked it, but they have the most cancer there. Windsor has the most cancer? That's what I learned earlier tonight.

Oh, well. But they... Like you want to have a long life in Windsor. Listen, I believe everything that I write on Wikipedia. It's just how I am. I write it on there, and then it's fact. Well, they're so desperate to get tourists there, they say, bring your cancer to Windsor and it really skews the results of the yeah the

pole yeah two tumors drink free I'd love a free tumors what it's like JP motion pictures yeah this is gonna echo Mr. Dave Foley the last movie I saw was Star Trek No Colon Into Darkness and I too saw it twice

I bought a ticket for the IMAX screening in 3D, but I got the time wrong, and I showed up for the non-IMAX, non-3D screening. Still awesome. It was still great. I just went in and saw it, and then afterwards, I liked it so much,

I used my ticket for the 3D IMAX screening, and about ten minutes in, one of the ushers at Scotiia bank came up to me and said sir you did not pay to see this movie and people are complaining which i really couldn't believe you just called out how weird it is that anybody said something from a canadian audience like that at the scotia bank theater and i can totally believe someone from Canada could come and fuck up your fund. In a righteous way.

He's not following the rules. That's right. You know how much he's hurting others by sitting in this theater? It's partially empty theater in a seat that no one is occupying. Do you understand how hurtful that is to others?

And racist. They asked if I was separating my popcorn meat from my popcorn kernels so that I could biologically recycle it, all of that. But I did blow her mind when I showed her that I'd actually paid for a movie that I walked into ten minutes later.

I did that once at a drive-in. I went to a drive-in just outside Niagara Falls with Gary Campbell. You may know Gary Campbell. And a couple of lady friends. And we decided we were going to sneak them into the drive-in for fun. So the ladies got into the trunk of the car.

And Gary and I drove up to the box office and we paid for four tickets. And we said, four, please. They said, well, there's only two. I said, yeah, there's two ladies in the trunk. And then we went, and we're watching the movie, and they get out of the trunk, they get in the car, and then we're partway through the movie.

Security comes over and goes, we saw those people get out of the trunk, and we're the car and then we're part way through the movie security comes over and goes we saw those people get out of the trunk we're going to have to ask you to leave the theater and we put the tickets and said no, we paid for them and the ladies were furious here's what I don't know why not put one lady in the trunk and one man in the car

and make a couple of them? These guys are hot dates. They don't want George Clooney running off with their lady. True. You're right. They don't want that. Do you know what movie it was?

Swing Shift. Jesus! Goldie Hawn. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Wow. Swing Shit. It was a lovely movie, wasn't it?

So they were so mad they didn't make out with you during Swing Shift? Well, let's be reasonable. I am adorable. It's true. It's a long ass movie too You have some time to turn it around It's literally the whole shift 12 hours

I like when they go to commercial though Because it makes They count down and it makes that sound Doesn't it do Something like that that's 24 though swing shift was 12 hours

I've lost the train of this gag almost I don't know people who've lived in Toronto longer than me can you still go to a drive-in there's one in Lindsay but there's not one in Toronto there's one at the docks but that's like a fake drive-in? Yeah, there's one in Lindsay, but there's not one in Toronto. There's one at the docks. The docks, right.

But that's like a fake drive-in, right? Fake drive-in for fake people. What does that mean, fake drive-in? Well, it's a big screen they put out. It's on the docks, so you can't really drive

in your car there, but it's a big outdoor screen. You just bring a chair or something? You can bring a chair or two ladies folded up in a chair. And pay for them. Yeah, you gotta pay for them first. Yeah. For that to really pay off. And a chair. And pay for them.

Yeah, you gotta pay for them first. For that to really pay off. That is pretty fun. I did that once with my parents at Disneyland. I saw some bars that were wide enough that I could squeeze through them. And while my parents were buying the tickets, I squeezed through the bars. And then when my

family got on the other side, they were like, how'd you get in here already? And I'm like, don't worry about it. it give me my ticket and nobody said anything to me but if they did it would have been funny to be like see i got a ticket um did you name a motion picture uh not yet but i did go to see star trek and i loved it i love the crowd didn't woo that time apparently apparently you didn't see it well enough. I just had my full colon when I went in. Have you guys seen it multiple

times? It's pretty good. See my son who's 12 makes me go to these movies that are just heinous and they're terrible. G.I. Joe Retaliation. I wanted to retaliate at the end of the movie.

It was so fucking ridiculous. Thanks for that visit from the grave. I wanted to retaliate. G.I. who? G.I. no. G.I. no. Thank you. But it was terrible. It's there's there are moments in it i don't even understand like there's a dune buggy fight yeah on the pier outside of

new york harbor are they like transformers yeah like every movie now is like transformers like there's they try but it had robot fighting and everything. It made no sense. They go to visit Bruce Willis at his house, and they come in, and he's not there, and then he kind of drops from the ceiling behind them scarily, like a stealthy ninja who's 70. It's very weird. And then Destro,

they just leave him in carogenic freeze. Everybody else gets rescued, and who's the guy, like the head of the play, Cobra Commander? He just kind of walks past Destro whose eyes are going, you gonna let me out now? And goes, you're out of the band. And walks out. Like, that's a great line.

Who got that line? It was Cobra Commander. Oh. It was so good. I saw him I don't even remember Don't care You can't tell who he is anyway

It wasn't Pachemi? There was a great wire fighting scene Yeah, ninjas hanging on the side of the mountain Fighting each other That's right And they're swinging around Repelling around Fighting each other

And there's a body They've got the body of a man That they're trying to escape with, and he's swinging on his rope, and ninjas are swinging after them and rope fighting. And I just was saying, you have swords, cut the rope. What is wrong with you people?

Yeah, it seems simple. Cut the rope. Like a Weekend at Bernie's thing? It was really... I don't know what the dead man was for. What was his body was stolen? I have no idea. Who gives a shit? I saw that movie,? It was really... I don't know what the dead man was for. What was his body? Was it stolen? I have no idea. Who gives a shit?

I saw that movie and I was just... You saw it? What is happening? You don't have a 12-year-old son. The entire time. He goes to see everything, though. This is what I find.

Not everything. No, I think he did. Scary Movie 5? Did you see Scary Movie? I did not see Scary Movie. Scary Movie 5? Then you missed an amazing impression.

They lost me at Scary Movie 4.8. LA Times said I earned it the one star. Oh, there's lower than one star? No stars. They go half C's sometimes.

Do they? Leonard Moulton, of course, goes bomb. Just says straight down the bomb. Yeah, he doesn't fuck around with half star. Bomb.

It's so insulting. To call it a bomb? Yeah, but just bomb fuck around with Half Star. Bomb. It's so insulting. To call it a bomb? Yeah, just bomb. You bombed. Terrible. That'd make you feel sad. So do you take back what you were just saying about G.I. Joe retaliation? Okay.

I don't think G.I. Joe has any feelings to be hurt. Dwayne Johnson is an amazing actor. Given the opportunity to say things, he might be passable. But he is terrible in this. I'm not familiar with him. Was The Rock in this movie?

Yes. He used all of his stony acting skills. He's running from that name. Is he? From The Rock. But then he does wrestling again every once in a while. Yeah, it's like Sisyphus. It's like when Elvis Costello wanted to be Declan McManus.

He did? Yeah, he did. He wanted to go back. Remember that album where he was Declan? He can't go back. I think Snoop Lion is going to stick, though. King of America. Snoop Lion was going to stick.

He thought he was the king of America. But it was just a boulevard of broken dreams. Does that like hurt your face or make you dizzy when you do that? No. It must hurt his

because he had to grow a beard. Is that why? That's why he grew a beard because his face was an eryctus of emotion. Captured. A snapshot of pure visceral

feeling. A polaroid of pain. Alright, this is a part of the show. I rarely get a chance to do an Elvis Costello impression. No, I was mesmerized by it. Confused by why it was happening. It was good.

I thought he was the king of America. But it was just a boulevard of broken dreams. Things you do with pictures and with chemicals. I love that song. All right, now do Elvis Costello singing about how it's time to play games on Doug Loves Movies. It's time to play the games on Doug Loves Movies. Play the games on Doug Loves Movies. Yeah. It's time.

It's time. Oh, it's time. Doug Loves Movies. She loves movies too. She was a small town girl. Anyway. Now do Diana Krall. I don't know if I can lower it that low. My emotional content

of my... If I can die at that low. I'm sorry. For what? For that outburst. I think I requested it. Yeah. Well, I don't know if you requested all of that. Don't give more than they want.

This is the part where the audience shows us name tags. Oh, sweet. All different types. That's beautiful. Varieties. Is that like a mic from... Oh, Jesus Christ. It's a mic from...

Mark loves movies. He's got a cookie the size of Jesus Christ. He's got a Wilson. The Matrix on a puppet show. This is fucking crazy. Wow, that's a full-on diorama. So go ahead and go into the audience and grab the

name tag you want to play for. You really have to come to the Monty Hall of podcasting. Go grab the name tag you want to play for, Dave. And while you do that, we'll listen to this and we'll be right back. And we're back! It's good to be back.

Sean, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Mike Wazowski! Woo! Mike Wazowski! Okay. JP, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Tyler!

Woo! Oh, I should hold this up. Tyler in a trumpet. Tyler in a trumpet. And Dave Foley? I'm playing for... He's playing for Mark. That's going to be a great vine And that's a big cookie

That Mark brought That just says Mark loves Movies I couldn't see it around the table I thought it might say Mark loves Mark But on top of that There's a $2 off coupon for your next giant cookie purchase

on the side of the box. It keeps on giving. Now, I didn't ask Mark, but I'm assuming that we get to eat the cookie if we want, right? I think so, yeah. Because otherwise,

I'm playing for someone else. Jellies. Yeah, what? There's jujubes in my cup. Mike from Monsters, Inc. is full of jujubes? Yes's jujubes in my cup Mike from Monsters Inc. is full of jujubes yes jujubes that's pretty tasty

there's nothing like gelatin are you saying jujubes? jujubes that's what they're called jujubes? jujubes you say jujubes I say jujubes

we have our differences sometimes it sounds derogatory when you say it. No, when he says, don't ju-jube me down. Son, there's something we haven't told you. You're a ju-jube. Mmm, ju-jubes.

You can really taste the hoof. Mmm. Mm, jujubes. You can really taste the hoof. Mm. Mm, gelatin. Man's other great invention. It's made from bone, right? It is made from cartilage and nostrils and chitin. Yeah. I'd like to begin with a game.

Who cares? We've got the cookie. Who needs to play? And we can still keep the prize. A game called Lincoln or Bane. What? I don't know this game. People really do care.

I don't know this game. And they're off! Ah! You seem to have bought a trumpet! I can't tell which is more painful the trumpet or your playing! Trumpets and deception? Ah!

Bruce Wayne! Our wonderful agents. I will say a line with my Bane impression. Alright. Who also kind of sounds like Lincoln because they tend to say similar things. Oh!

Abraham Lincoln? No, we're talking about... In Spielberg's motion picture, Lincoln. Okay, okay. Not all of Abraham Lincoln. I didn't do that much research. Gentlemen, we are on the cusp. This is an opportunity.

You're not supposed to guess what lines I'm going to use. Do you want to go to the second one now? What's that? Was that the first one? Never mind. Never mind. From Sean. Is that a line?

I am clothed in great power. They both, yeah, both of those movies have a lot of lines. Those guys have a lot of things to say. A lot of speech. And they sound very similar. So I'll say one, Dave, and then I'll ask you. We'll go down the line. You could say why you're saying it, but you don't maybe want to confuse the other players.

You don't want them to guess along with you. Thank you. Yeah, so you want to be the odd one out, the one who gets it right and tricks the other two. So, okay, who said it? Was it Lincoln or Bain that said, Okay. Who said it? Was it Lincoln or Bain that said,

Your loan may lighten this burden or render it intolerable. Is that Lincoln or Bain? Am I first? Yes. Lincoln. JP? Lincoln. Sean?

Lincoln. You're all correct. That was Lincoln. Sean. Lincoln. You're all correct. That was Lincoln. Lincoln. Nice embouchure. Please hold the horn until the horse race is actually about to start. I think that time it played me. Yeah. All right, we'll start with you this time, JP.

You should touch your spit valve a couple times. Then we'll go to Sean. And don't worry about his spit valve. Who said it, Lincoln or Bain? Howling at shadows and furniture and ghosts. What was that? Was that howling? Howling at shadows and furniture and ghosts.

Who said that? Was that Lincoln or Bain? I think it's Lincoln describing Mary Todd Lincoln. Oh, don't say anything. What's your theory, Sean? I am agreeing. Dave? Well, knowing how he felt about Mary Todd Lincoln, Sean? I am agreeing. Dave?

Well, knowing how he felt about Mary Todd Lincoln, I'll go with Lincoln. That is correct. Dave knows I have a Mary Todd fetish. This might be the first. We might just go through all the rest of the quotes. We've been playing this for a while. We're in the dredges of quotes.

We're in quote dredgery. Quote dragging. And we're going to start with Sean this time. Alright. Then go to Dave. Okay. Who we are doesn't matter. What matters is our plan.

That's a hard one. They are all supposed to be. Well, I'm going to say that's Bane. Okay. Dave? I'm also going to go with Barbara Bane. Conrad Bane. Bane is correct! We did it!

You guys are the smartest panel I've ever had. We're into extra innings. We were born in darkness. We grew up in it. No colon darkness. I didn't have a shirt until I was 12 years old. Or at least I never knew because I never saw it. Or at least I never knew because I never saw it.

This mask covers my sense of smell. I just wondered why people were wincing all the time. The only reason I wear this mask is because I lived in shit. All right. Dave, we're back to you, Dave. Okay. Who said, Why, for instance, is this thus?

And what is the reason for this thusness? Fuck that one. That's Lincoln. Who said, Who said, Tomorrow you will claim what is rightfully yours Bane Bane Bane

Do you feel in charge? Still Bane Always Bane Bane from now on Theatricality and deception are powerful agents That finishes Lincoln or Bane. Bane from now on. Theatricality and deception are powerful agents. That finishes Lincoln or Bane. Wow! Every single

quote that could be from, yes, Sound the Horns. Can I go pee? Yes, please. I'm going to go pee. I've always thought that that guy's voice, Bane, was never good for any other job. You couldn't have Bane be anything else

but a crazy villain man. Because, you know, he's, Oh! Would you like the full combo? Or just the sandwich? Never. It's not good. Children! I'm your new babysitter! There will be no lights on in the house! Enjoy the darkness.

I was born in it. I was raised in it. Just put your feet in the stirrups. This is going to be a little cold. But not as cold as living in darkness. I don't stop between stops on this route. Get out at a designated stop. Or face the consequences.

This is your pilot speaking. Things are about to get bumpy. In the darkness. I'm sorry. We tried to get the stain out. But it just doesn't seem to react to any of our agents of cleanliness. Goodbye. Are we going to do this until Dave Foley's finished peeing?

Is that the intent? Okay. Now pull up beside this car and parallel park for me. Very good. Now do it in darkness Debit or credit? Do you feel like charging? Dave Foley, come back. These windows are double glazed with a layer of vacuum in between.

Your energy bill will plummet. Plummet into darkness. Bane? Bane. That was Bane. Baneed into darkness. Bane? Bane. That was Bane. Bane. That one was Bane. Ah!

These are delicious cold cuts. Ah. Ah. Mmm. Mustard. He doesn't do anything like that he never eats

cold cuts or mustard he just lives yeah I figured out after seeing the movie

a few times that he probably just drinks smoothies yeah or lays some meat on his chest and it's absorbed over time Or lays some meat on his chest and it's absorbed. Over time.

Dear Comedy Bar. I'm going to jot off a quick note, you guys. Dear Comedy Bar, I would love another vodka and soda whenever it's convenient to someone here. Should I go to the bar? And my friends would also like refills. Sure. What would you like, Dave? I'm having an Okanagan pale ale.

I'm having a Mill Street organic beer. I'm having a glass of darkness. Sorry, I'm having the Okanagan as well I'm drinking a pint of your soul I'm having a chaser of mystery I wish I could do voices Oh, I wish I could do voices too I've got the one and now it's over Oh, I wish I could do voices, too.

I've got the one, and now it's over. I love Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln, though. He was so good. He did a great job. He really did. I didn't mind watching it over and over again to get all the quotes. I didn't see the movie. It's so good.

I didn't see it either. I didn't see it, because I've never forgiven him for freeing the slaves. Let me run a few more lines by you that Lincoln said. What's the matter, Bob? Yeah, Lincoln said that. He said that on the Newhart show? No, in Spielberg's Lincoln.

He goes, what's the matter, Bob? Because his son is named Bob. I think that was Jerry the dentist said that. Robert. That was Bane. Watch the manner, Bob. His henchman Bob was looking sad that day. Would you like to kill some more people, Bob?

Would that cheer you up? That would be nicer. Oh, Bob. I'm doing my best, sir. I'm doing my best. Don't make me laugh, Bob. I'm doing my best, sir. I'm doing my best. Don't make me laugh, Bob. You know I don't like to hyperventilate. I found the sinist ice on the river, sir.

So we can march people across it. If you want to. But I've noticed somebody over there by the bridge has been taking hours and hours to build a giant flaming bat symbol. Maybe we should look into it. No, don't worry about that. What matters is our plan.

That's why you're the boss, sir. We're going to blow up some of the bridges, but other bridges we're not going to blow up. And we're going to tell people they cannot go across them. Thank you, Comedy Bar. Sorry, I interrupted there. Comedy Bar, the world's tiniest straws.

Well, they're stronger. The shorter they get, the more powerful they are. There's some beers for fellas. Hi, I're stronger. The shorter they get, the more powerful they are. I believe that. There's some beers for fellas. Hi, I'm Sean. Thanks for that. Could we pour it into my cup and float the jujubes? And beer?

Anything you want, just stop saying jujubes. Yeah, because... Well, the other weird candidate... It's giving me a case of the heebie-joojeebies. Oh! At Easter time, speaking of Jews, at Easter time... Hebe Jew Jebees?

Oh, the Jews, they love Easter. They love it. Pass right over it. But they said... But here's the thing. You guys at Easter time have marshmallow peeps. Does anybody know what a peep is? When I was growing up, there were no peeps.

There were no marshmallow peeps. That's a totally American, weird, totally industrial candy thing. It's awful. Awful. You know what else it is? No. Irrelevant to movies. But thank you.

I saw that Easter Bunny movie, Hop, that was so awesome. It was so good. Another great opportunity. Who was the voice of Hop? What's that man, the British one? Russell Brand. Russell Brand. I almost said Russell Crowe.

Russell Crowe. Russell Brand? Russell Brand. I almost said Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe. Remember when Hop was, when he was trying to find Jean Valjean and he committed suicide? Because he was so disappointed

that social fabric was breaking down? Yeah. Oi, I'm going to kill myself! I'm going to find this guy! That's not him. Okay, you're Russell Brand, it's your talk show, and you're interviewing Dave Foley. Go.

Dave, I love you. Fantastic. Super great. What's up? What are you doing right now? I was in Arthur, the remake of Arthur. Totally fucking destroyed it. You can't even watch the original

one now. There will be a sequel. Anything else, Dave? Let's play ABCD's Nuts. I don't know that game either. Oh, it's popular, Dave. Okay. And really easy to pick up.

I should listen to the show more. No, you're fine. You're fine. We'll walk you through it. In fact, we'll start with you. Okay. How is that walking me through it? You don't have to think of the before or after.

Oh, you're right. You're right. We'll start with Sean. Then we'll have to think of the before or after. Oh, you're right, you're right, you're right. We'll start with Sean. Then we'll go to JP, who also has never played this, but I'm sure we'll pick it up very quickly. It's about nuts, apparently. No, we're going to spell something. And that's why it's ABCD.

S-O-M-E-T-H-I-N-G. Yeah, and in honor of the masterpiece... You know who died today? Oh yeah, bring up who died today. The last time you and I performed in this theater together, you came out on stage and said, the President of the United States shot Osama Bin Laden.

And everyone thought you were kidding. By proxy. Everyone thought you were joking. I just like that you called this a theater. Any space that has an empty portion with eyes looking on is a theater. This is a magical place.

Any place called Comedy Bar. And two or more are gathered in Doug's name. The theater is implied in the term Comedy Bar. Gene Stapleton. Oh, really? Gene Stapleton died? 90 years? Gene Stapleton died today. 90 years old. Because I thought

you were going to say Harvey Korman. He died quite a while ago. How long ago? Didn't he die about a year ago? No, it was a while ago. Was today the anniversary

of his death? I played poker with Harvey Korman just a few months before he died. Yeah, it's a true story. It's on you. I know. I won his very life. It's on you. I know.

I won his very life. Did you suck out on him or something? It was sad, but Gene Stapleton, Edith Bunker, died 90 years old. She was great. Yes. Oh, Archie! I'm dead! That's why you brought it up,

to do your impression. No, I don't really do a good impression of her It was as good as Rich Little's impression She was amazing Norm Macdonald did a very funny bit Years ago It was all Archie He was in Julius Caesar

And he's playing Julius Caesar in Shakespeare Hey hey hey hey Watch it with the knives there That is not mine playing Julius Caesar in Shakespeare. Hey, hey, hey, hey, watch it with the knives there. That is not mine. I just need it to be known. What other, who else's bits can you do? Nobody's. If you had bits, I'd do them.

Oh! Grandpa Jujube's. Cheers. All right. I don't have a trumpet. What am I going to do? I'm sorry I sidetracked everything, but it is sad.

She's one of my favorite characters. I'm glad you brought her up. Oh, yeah. Really kind of raised the room. And Dr. Henry Morgenthaler just died, too. Yep. Yeah. He performed a abortion on himself.

Very late term. Very late term. Very, very late term. Very late term. He was 90 years old. It's about time. Yeah. He just finally said, I want it.

I should be forced to bring up this elderly Jewish man. All right. Any more quick updates on any death notices before we play this frivolous game? Everyone who knows about the crack video is now dead.

That's just it. Strangely. Strange. Oh, sorry. You walk people. Sorry, Rob Ford's brother. If they make one Rob Ford reference, I'm out of here. I was going to say that joke was built Rob Ford tough.

That's right. Then that guy ruined it. That's not... Where'd he drive in from? That's not a Canadian. Jesus Christ. We're not Canadian at all. No, I'm sorry. I just don't like people that aren't on a microphone having a conversation,

because then the podcast listeners only hear me, and so just now they just just heard silence and then me going woo woo woo woo woo. Alright, fine. Oh, here we go. Good call, Dave. Where are you from? London. Ontario.

Yeah, yeah. Nice trying. He's not from here. You really nailed the accent though when you were trying to fake me out. London, Ontario. Two hours away. It's two hours away? Yes, sir.

It's nice there. Beautiful city with amazing vistas. Half the cancer of Windsor. If you... When you come here, do you miss the vistas? Yes. Not so loquacious with the amplification in your faces. Nice.

Illiteratiozen. Let's just hear how your chest hair sounds. Gross. Yeah, get in there. Rub it around. Oh, yeah. Do it. Yeah. Now do that bit where the microphone is an ice cream cone.

Oh, you're a professional, obviously. Great, they killed mine. Oh, there we are. You're just holding it right up to your lips after that horrible chest situation. I was close enough to know how perfectly groomed his chest hair is. That's right. It smelled like lavender.

As a kid in the hall, was there something that somebody came up with that you were supposed to do that you refused? Would you basically do anything? The one thing I refused to do, I wasn't in a piece called Naked for Jesus. Not because I don't hate Jesus. Because at the time,

I was embarrassed about my body. And since then, since I became a fat old man, I've been naked a lot on film. Proving that I don't think right. You know, it becomes more of a what the hell.

Yeah. I was naked in a movie that starred Bridget Fonda and Brendan Fraser and I was the only person naked in it. That's a shit movie. Blast from the past.

That's interesting you should bring that up because for ABCD's nuts we're going to spell monkey bone. The shit movie I was talking about. Yeah, but here's how it works. We'll start with Sean. You get the letter M. That's how monkey bone starts.

And you name any other movie that begins with the letter M. Any other movie. You have a few seconds to do it. I have played this game. And if you match me, I remember now. If you say the same movie that I wrote down ahead of time, then you win automatically. Oh, wow. Game over.

It's exciting. Use your microphone voice, JP. I'm ready. I'm ready. M. M. Metropolis. You did it I went with

Don't look at that Oh I can't look at that Yeah I went with Mean Girls Which was shot here in Toronto That's right The greatest in the Lindsay Lohan Canon It's easily in the top three

Scary movie five. What would she like to not work with? Exactly. That's right. JP. Omega Man. Okay, now I'll let it slide the first time like Alex Trebek will do.

If you don't phrase it as a question. The. You can't do movies with the because that begins with the letter T. The Omega Man. Octopussy? You didn't need to give me another one. I was going to let it slide. But Octopussy definitely does not start with the, so you are correct.

Octopussy. And I went with Orphan, which was shot here in Toronto I see a theme I guess there's a theme running through this you may, you could jump to that conclusion a lot of the guests never do it's kind of fun

watching them not catch on but the letter to you Dave is N trying to think of a movie made in Toronto oh Nosferatu laughter laughter trying to think of a movie made in Toronto oh Nosferatu I went with Narc which was shot here in Toronto K to Sean

Kill Bill is the movie that begins with the letter K I went with Kick-Ass, which was shot in Toronto. Damn. E, JP? Well, I'm not going to say Elephant Man, the. All right. Tell us more things you're not going to say.

Ever After? That's correct. And I'm glad you're in touch with your feminine side. I went with Existence, which was shot here in Toronto. Good one. Why?

Why? Dave, why? Yellow Submarine. Shot here in Toronto. Yes, that's correct. Did you say... Okay, I can't. Can I say that? What's happening?

You're going through the word again and again, right? No, no, we'll stop. It's not Youngblood. It gets tedious after a while. Oh, Youngblood was shot here in Toronto. Yeah, it was. That is what I picked Out of turn

Out of turn I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry Patrick Swayze shaves off Rob Lowe's pubic hair in that movie. Really? In an hazing incident that would be frowned upon today.

Just frowned upon, though. Just a lot of sad faces. Nobody's going to step in and stop it. They did not do a good job. Okay, so we're at B. Sean? B. B.

Three seconds. Two. One. Barney's version. So you just went with Barney. You weren't thinking of that movie. So you just went with Barney. You weren't thinking of that movie. And then you're just like,

God, I hope there's something that begins with Barney. I was thinking of the F version instead of Stone. Barney Stone? There's nothing called it. Brain candy! Brain candy would have been... Excellent choice. Shot in Toronto Is that the

Kids in the Hall What's the full title Brain Candy Brain Candy Should I leave What Brain Candy No there's a colon

Isn't there No there's no colon There was no Kids in the Hall movie Or anything like that No there's no brain Brain Candy Colon Candy

That was one of the many ways We didn't market the film correctly. We failed to mention we were in it. Janine Garofalo in Brain Candy. Well, now I'm intrigued. I'm going to look it up and see what Leonard had to say about it. Have I ever embarrassed you with this before?

Brain Candy? I don't know. I know one of Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel, one of them hated it more than anything he'd ever seen. And the other one hated the other one. Well, it sounds like the whole situation gave them both cancer.

What? What part of that is not true? They both have cancer. They had those mixed feelings about brain candy. That was the original title of the film, Brain Cancer. No one thought it'd be funny. At least you fixed that. Something fun.

Oh, Windsor. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And guess who gets top billing? In Brain Candy? Yeah. Me? Alphabetized It's alphabetical

Oh and I'm the most famous He's hanging out with a bunch of M's Everybody's M You know what that's racist Janine Garofalo got in there. Catherine Greenwood? Yeah.

Who that is? She's a Canadian actress. Wind at my back, perhaps you remember that. What? I don't know. I think it's... Yeah, it's my turn to talk. I think it's his. It's my line anyway. So did he love the movie?

Hmm? Oh, I didn't even want to get into the review He didn't even review it, did he? No, he did One of his minions It's in here He gave it two and a half stars That's not terrible

Between fair and good And he says New wonder drug that cures depression Has devastating side effect on the population Now addicted to the product The premise intertwines the lives of over 30 characters played by the kids in the hall of the Canadian TV sketch group

in their feature film debut. Funny sequences and bizarre characters don't add up to a satisfying whole, but... I'll be sure to tell Leonard. Let me write it down really quick. Fuck that shit. Are you going to remember

that? Yes, because I wrote it down. Did you hear me say it? The bizarre characters don't add up to a satisfying whole, but the cast is energetic in many original and unusual guises, often in drag. Standout moment has Thompson coming out in Splashy Hollywood

musical production number. Brendan Fraser appears unbilled. On screen title is Kids in the Hall Brain Candy. Like I said, I was so triumphant nobody gave a shit. But that was just on the screen.

That was too late. People had already paid to see it. And they're like, of course we know Kids in the Hall is in it, and then they would leave. Yeah, but, you know, you gotta ask for your money back. So you're vindicated, Doug. It starts with a K. You're absolutely right. Brain candy does not come from a B word. Well, actually,

it is the kids in the hall, which people forget that, too. Holy shit, like the talking heads. How did that bring the whole crowd down? I was having a great time. It was neither here nor there. There's an article of speech in front of kids in the hall.

Most people don't know that it's the Backstreet Boys, the NSYNC. Is this game over? No. No. I've had an hour to come up with an O. Did he give a B? What happened? Was it me who gave a B?

Brain Candy came up because we were on B. I was B, but I said something. You said Barney's version. Barney's version. Yeah. Alan Arkin. So the people that are editing this will just get right back into it. Peter Falk.

Here. Overboard. Overboard. Good one. Would have been nice if that was shot. Another Kurt Russell Shout out I went with

Owning Mahoney Because it was shot In Toronto And Did the Toronto Tourism Board Give you this list? It's

You know Wikipedia mostly Yeah But also My memory Because a lot of these I went, oh yeah, that didn't really look like New York. But N is your letter.

I can't think of a Toronto film, so I'll go with Nell. I'm sorry, that was the Nell, wasn't it? No. Yeah, it was Death Nell. Death Nell. No, shot in Toronto was death knell. Death knell. No, um, shot in Toronto, New York Minute. I gave him two out of the three words.

Okay, and finally, back to you with the final E. I'm going to say Ecstasy, based on Irvin Welsh's film Ecstasy that came out. I was supposed to be in it. Oh, not the Hedy Lamarr film? No. What director have you worked for, Canadian director?

You were in the movie with Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth. Oh, Atom McGowan. What movie did he make that began with the letter E? Were you in? Was I in it? No, you weren't in it, but he made a movie that began with the letter E. It was shot here in Toronto.

Oh. Yeah. Oh, jeez. Oh. It was so many. I was going to say Everest, but that was Ararat. It was a light-hearted rom-com. A light-hearted look at people who are miserable.

Yeah. And fucked up. Ararat. Was it Ararat? Everyone has a sex perversion. The sweet hereafter. Everybody loves suicide. Oh, the stripper, right? It's the one with the stripper

in it? It's called E... E... E... E... E... Elephant Man. Exotica! Exotica

Exotica Exotica Of course We knew it all along Right Exotica I know I'm I take people on

Little detours But here's the thing I was supposed to be In this movie Ecstasy They made me do With Hedy Lamarr No

But it was based on 1930s Germany No Hedy Lamarr It was based on it was based on the guy who wrote... 1930s Germany. No. What? Hedy Lamarr. It was based on... Famous nude... Oh, yes, it was, actually. I remember it now.

No, the movie was based on Irvin Welsh's book, Ecstasy, and it's set in Scotland, but it was being shot here. I have no reason why. I have no understanding of it. I don't know. But I was supposed to be a policeman, and there were two of us on the night and day, and they asked me to do it for nothing, because they're just doing this on a shoestring

and i say okay and i come in and do it and i'm doing the scottish accent with this other cop and we stop him and he's on ecstasy and the main character can you tell the rest of the story with your glaswegian accent what are you looking at what's your problem what are you going to do to you you're going to upset me you're upsetting me now anyway he's uh he tried he's the guy we we the guy who's with that this is just like star trek into darkness into darkness what's why are they taking my equation away uh so the guy who's playing the other cop is at a scottish accent he's terrible it's like what are you doing you're like oh my god okay so i go and they keep sending me things we're going to open it at tiff this movie's opening it's coming out we would love everybody to be there if you're

available to any press that's great i'm like okay. So I go and I get my ticket at the box office and I go in and they're like, who are you? I said, I don't know. Well, I was in the movie. I keep telling people I'm in the movie. And I get in and I sit through the whole movie and I'm not in it. Edited me out of the movie, but no one told me. But to get rid of that other guy.

Yeah. That's how you justify it. Do you think he has the same story? I'd like to think so. Sean Cullen's Scottish accent was so phony. Well, mine was shit. Okay. Maybe that was it. But it was very disappointing

to be sitting there, waiting through the whole film for the scene that I was shooting. And then... What was the movie called? Dark Night Rises no it was called Ecstasy when you get edited out of this podcast

it's going to be sad seriously seriously it's going to be terrible we have to play the Leonard Maltin game this is the one, you guys. This is for all the models. Nobody's really won anything so far.

You've all been terrific at the games. We played very well as a team so far. They're not really games. But now you really have to go head-to-head so that the people you're playing for can win all the contents of the prize bag. All right, Mark. Yeah, so play hard for Mark.

Tyler. Tyler and who are you playing for, Sean? I'm playing for a gentleman called Mike. Wazowski! I'm in that new movie. You're in Monsters University. What do you play?

I play Terry, one of the Terrys. A two-headed monster with Sean Hayes. Sean Hayes and I are of the Terry's A two-headed monster With Sean Hayes Oh Sean Hayes and I Are Terry and Terry The two-headed monster So it's a three-headed monster No

What? No He's two people He has two heads What? Never mind But yeah I'm in that So that's coming out

In June Thingy Yay Mid-show plug I'm so happy That we can help that movie To make some money. Yeah. Because, you know, when you

do a little indie film like that... Yeah, I know. You don't know what's going to happen. I think it's going to be number one of the summer. You never know if anyone's going to hear about it. I think it's going to be number one of the whole summer. Yeah, probably. Well, you know. People love Billy Crystal. Have you been to Bugs Life World at Disneyland? Yes. You must have been there when they unveiled it.

It's all over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. That's neat. Yeah, I have my own theme park. You do. You have a... Flix Funland. You've taught me,

but I don't have too many friends that are part of Disneyland attractions. I, of course, am in Captain EO. You were sodomized, I believe. No, no, he didn't lay a hand on me, but that kid he was hanging out with looked like something might have happened.

He had like a little friend with him on the set every day and it was creepy. I'm the voice of Autopia at Disneyland. Oh, how's that go? Oh. That's it. It sounds a lot like there's a Cars Land, too, now. Yeah.

There's a fun car racing ride. They may have removed Autopia from Disneyland since... Have they? They may have, to make room for things like Mimos. They've taken away the teacup ride as well. What? They changed it to the latte ride. Because Hollywood's crazy, people. Hollywood is.

It sure is. Hollywood's crazy. Nuts. Let's play the letter wrong game. All right. I'm not fucking around anymore. So we'll let Dave start over there Good

You're going to recap the rules? Yeah, I'll talk you through it The whole audience will scold you if you don't do it right I'm a voice at Disneyland Are you? Which voice? I'm the David Spade sound-alike Because I did Emperor's New School.

It was the TV show based on the movie Emperor's New Groove. Emperor's New School? Emperor's New School. It ran for two years on Disney Channel. But Spade didn't want to be bothered doing the voice for the park. So it's Disney World or Disneyland. You hear me going like, Cronk.

Melina's a hottie, hot hottie. That's it. Hey, we're all at Disneyland. I'm not. Can we hang out later? They tried to get a sound alike for me, for Bugs Land, but they couldn't. Well, originally, they called me up,

and they offered me such horrible money. I said, well, tell them I'll do it for free. I just want to be able to go to the park. And Disney said no. And so I said, well, I won't do it. And then they had a sound light come in, and John Lasseter from Pixar heard it and said, why isn't Dave doing it?

And they said, well, we had some trouble negotiating. And they said, well, how much did he want? And they had to say, he said he'd do it for free. But you know how expensive a pass is? To get into Disneyland? It's amazingly expensive. And yet it costs them nothing to just let me in. It's true.

It's not like somebody else isn't going to get in because I show up. Foley's here. We're full. There's a kid crying over here right now. Great. I don't think they've ever turned anyone away at the door.

As you know, Dave, the game is like... Oh, the game. It's like, name that tune, but instead of... Is this the editing point where you'll pick the show up? No, we don't edit at all. All right. But the rules are, in short, in brief, and you've played this before. I have.

And your daughter was quite good at it. Yes, she was. She says hi, by the way. Oh, hi, Alina. It's like, name that tune, but with notes and songs. I mean, with movie titles and actor names instead of notes and songs. Now, what's the thing where you can make somebody else answer it? That's when the bidding starts,

the person next to you, when it comes to you, you can say, name that movie. Or you can make some negative names. You'll see. You get to pick a category. Would you like, at JennyMayo619 suggested Golden Showers Playbook, and that's movies that begin with P.

Movies, the title of which begin with the letter P. The letter P. The letter P, yes. And at ReaperMattat at Matt ATT suggested greatest movie ever told and that's films that have a narrator or Stephen underscore Melvin suggested

the past and the curious and that's movies that have sexually ambiguous historical figures well played I think like most of the audience I'm torn between options one Well played. I think like most of the audience, I'm torn between options one and three. Yeah, well, two didn't get a laugh, but it's an interesting category. It's a good category. Yeah, but I only respect laughter.

Oh, finally the title of your autobiography. I'm going to go with three. Okay, I didn't number them, but I can figure it out. I'm on it. I'm on it. Past and curious. Sexually ambiguous.

Character. Historical figures. Historical figures. All right. This film is from 2011. Leonard gives it two stars. Sexually ambiguous. Character. Historical figures. This film is from 2011. Leonard gives it two stars. He says that the movie is one note and he also says that there's an aspect of the film

that's so ludicrous that it almost torpedoes the entire film. Again, from 2011. It's got a sexually ambiguous historical figure in it. And Leonard lists a whopping 17 names? Jesus Christ.

16, maybe? Let's call it 16. Let's call it 16. Let's call it 17. So, the wise bid, Dave, especially if you don't think you know what it is at this point, is to just say I can name it in 17 names, and then it'll pass on to JP, who can either say name it,

then you'd get all 17 names. That's a pretty good clue. Or he would make a lower bid, and then it moves on to Sean, and it's out of your hands for a second. I'll name it in 17. Okay, 17 he says, JP. I think I can name it in 12 names. That's a big drop,

Sean. I think I'll name it in 8. Okay. So we're back to you, Dave. Name it. We'll see. No idea. We'll see see I like the very serious gameplay

these are the last eight names you read yeah this is from the bottom yes just like on that JP of course

and Sean were both on the Lost Toronto episode was anybody at that taping yeah I'm filling in

for Jerry D that's filling in filling in is not the right word for it just a more pleasant personage in that's not the right word for it awesome improvement

he was he was as people that were there will know I was really bummed when the recording didn't turn out because he was really terrible he questioned every single moment of the show like I was on trial. Right?

It'd probably be fun to listen to, but it's lost forever. That's not why it's lost. I didn't have it destroyed. That guy was horrible. Jerry Deeks. I like him okay as a person, he just didn't click. It's happened a few times in the history of the show. He had it lost. You didn't.

He made sure it was never heard again. Oh, you think? Yeah, he used his mind. Well, I hope he's using it for something, because... Oh, shit! For a guy that used to be a teacher, he couldn't understand shit. He asked questions about everything.

It was amazing. But this one, playing Build-A-Title, was really entertaining as well. I didn't understand the content. Sorry to rub it in, listeners. You'll never hear that one, but it was quite a show.

And JP was there. I'm here to help. I bet somebody recorded it on their iPhone. I don't think so. I don't think so. Nobody. I'm truly lost. No one took an interest? That would not be right. No one's recording this right now and they're interested.

Well, you may be wrong about both statements. I'm not going to record it. Where are we at? not going to record it. Where are we at? You have to name it in eight names. From the bottom. What was it? You have to name it in eight.

Yeah. Sean has to name it. And I have all eight names, right? I'm going to read them off to you. You can. Yeah. But then there's going to be that remaining nine names. Nine names that you will not have access to. At the top of the list.

You will not have access to those names. That you will not get to hear. Shitballs. Those are ones you may need more than to. The top of the list. You will not have access to those names. That you will not get to hear. Shitballs. Those are ones you may need more than these. But we'll see. Michael O'Neill. Okay. Jeff Pearson.

Wow. Jessica Hecht. Oh, how many movies have all three of them been in? Josh Hamilton. Ken Howard. Kenny Howard. Leah Thompson. Oh.

What? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Kenny Howard Leah Thompson What? Yeah Damon Harriman And Zach Grenier Go Is that how you pronounce it? Grenier Zach Grenier

All those people were in this movie That has a historical figure that's sexually ambiguous from 2011 and the answer is 2011 historically ambiguous

it wasn't historically ambiguous it was like he may have been from the 1800s, so he may have been from the late 30s. We're not sure when he existed.

Or she. Oh, balls. Who challenged him? I did. Oh, Dave's going to get a point. I'm good with strategy. I can't remember the name of the film.

Is it about Andy Warhol? You can't remember the name of the film. No, it's about J. a point. I'm good with strategy. I can't remember the name of the film. Is it about Andy Warhol? You can't remember the name. No, it's about J. Edgar Hoover. I knew it! Oh, Hoover. And it's called Hoover. Hoover. It's called J. Edgar.

Is that what they called it up here? No, it's called J. Edgar. J. Edgar. I knew it. I wouldn't have gotten it anyway because I would have said Hoover. Did you see it? Who else was in it? And you would have called it Hoover?

Mr. Leonardo DiCaprio plays the J. Edgar. He does, indeed. I think if you called it Hoover, it probably would have sold more tickets, because people might have been like, I want to learn about the guy who invented the vacuum. And what he did with it. Historically ambiguous.

Ambiguous. All right, so Dave Foley's on the board He's got a point Give it up How many points do we go to? Two points to win Oh jeez So yeah

So he's halfway home I'm failing You guys are all the way Two points wins? Yeah Yeah we gotta wrap it up Pretty soon Oh my god

Oh you think you've got this sewn up Because you already have a point? I'm a winner. Halfway home. I am full of hubris. Oh, wait a minute. That's bad. That's not always bad.

I had bad strategy there. I knew that. I thought it was going to come back around to me. Oh, I see. Sometimes you've just got to zip down to like zero. I had worse strategy. Or in that case, if you thought you knew what it was, TJ. I went lower.

JP. If you thought you knew what it was, you should have said negative one. Yeah. Because then you, you know, in the negative names. Yeah, but also you probably figured out that Leonardo was the top billed actor. Yeah, right. Okay, we'll see if I learn. And then that bites me in the ass.

Let's see if he learns. I can't wait to see if he learns. Whose turn is it now? Who challenged? I challenged. So JP gets to go first and then we go to Dave. Negative.

Then we go to Dave. No, wait to... You get to pick a category, JP. The clue. Would you like at a underscore man underscore named underscore Tim?

Yes! Yeah, that's his name. He suggested At a underscore man underscore named underscore Tim. Yes. Yeah, that's his name. He suggested Doug Loves Newbies, and that's movies where it's a first-time director. Oh. First-time directors, yeah. And then also In Theaters Now. That's movies that are in theaters now.

Pass. Or, you're going to love this one. Four Weddings and a Funeral. The often unpicked category. The always unpicked category. Four Weddings and a Funeral. It's Frank Sinatra films because he had four wives and now he's dead.

So it's really about respect. Doug loves newbies. All right, this is a first-time director helmed this particular motion picture. The year is 1988. Oh. Okay. Oh, that's a tough year.

All right. Sure. Right. I'm pretty sure that's a tough year. All right. Sure. Right. Pretty sure that's what it says. Two and a half stars from Leonard. I'm absolutely sure of that. He says that this movie has an absolutely accurate title. He also calls it quirky

and says that the direction is fragmented. Yeah, and he lists 88. Seven names. And I'm pretty sure it's 1988. He said aptly named title? Yeah, aptly named. Aptly named. Yeah. It has a title

and boy is it apt. 1988 you say? Yeah, aptly named. Aptly named. Yeah. It has a title. Boy, is it apt. 1988, you say? Yeah. First time director. I'm going to say I can name that in two actors. Two names. Oh, wait, wait. Oh, shit.

They're not the top two. Yeah, you're going to want to say, if you top two. Yeah, you're going to want to say, if you want the top two, you're going to have to say seven names. Because there's nine names listed. No, no, there's seven names listed. Because there's seven, you'll get them all. I'm going to go... I can name it in five.

That'll get me up to the third actor. Wait, second actor? I can't do the math right now, Doug! It'll get you up to the third actor. Wait, second actor? I can't do the math right now, Doug. It'll get you up to the third actor. I want to hear the third actor. Okay. No, that's four. Are there seven listed or eight listed? It's seven, and you'd have to bid five.

Seven. If I say five, I'd hear the third person. That's what I want to do. Five actors. How long does this game go? I have to pee again. We're almost done. All you have to do is win. I can do it say five. I'd do the third person. That's what I want to do. Five actors. How long does this game go? I have to pee again. We're almost done. All right. All you have to do is win. I can do it in five. Five, he says.

All right. Dave. That's to me. Name it. Okay. You're going to be peeing in no time. You should go pee now. In fact, go pee.

Go ahead. Okay. Let me know if I win. Okay. In fact, we'll send you an email. Let me know if I win. Okay. In fact... We'll send you an email. Let me know if I win. Oh, he gave him a microphone in the audience.

That's always a good idea. And now he's rubbing it into his chest hair. Your five names on there. 1988. First time director. Dean Lawry. Doug Wren. Craig Smith.

Terry Potter. Oh Mike Minnette. You know Terry Potter? I thought you said Harry Potter. I know that guy's movies. He wrote some books first. You idiot. Harry Potter had to write those books to be in those

movies. I really thought we were going to get to somebody from Sex, Lies, and Videotape, which would be an aptly named movie. But that might have come out earlier than 88, so I'm going to say the movie is...

Mystery Train? That wasn't his first movie. But when it was over, everyone was like, yep, that was accurately named. I don't know what was going on on that train. I don't even think the last two... Well, the last name will help you a lot. The next to the last name is Pete O'Hearn.

Pete O'Hearn. But then the top billed performer in this movie is also the director of the film. And that person's name is Peter Jackson. Oh, it's that one with the girls. What? Bad Taste. Not Dead Alive.

No. Which recently, corrections department, recently we said on the show that Dead Alive was his first movie. But it turns out Bad Taste is his first movie. And it also turns out that Dave Foley is our winner. Oh, come on! He's in the bathroom winning! Boo! He's taking the most winningest pee right now.

Yes! You won! Thank you, everybody. Thank you. I won, huh? You won. And that's how many times I have to pee during every movie I've ever seen. So Mark, with the big cookie, come and get your prizes.

Come on, Mark. Sorry, Tyler. Where's the bag of prizes at, JP? Oh, there it is. Yeah. Yeah, he found it. It's like an Easter egg. Do you want your cookie back, Mark?

Oh, yeah, I guess you could take your cookie back. Do you want your cookie back, Mark? I'm not going to eat any of it. It might be fun to stomp around on it or something. Okay, he's taking it back. He's got a long drive home. Enjoy your cookie! I didn't see a cookie until I was 19 years old!

Lincoln? That's why to this day I don't have feelings that I can eat. There's an old story about a cookie. Washington was eating a cookie at Valley Forge and a man

in a blanket put it in a bag. Sorry, is there a shithead on the back of your trumpet? There is Who is it? I'll say it at the end Really? That's weird Interesting

And what about you? Is there one on the back of your mic? It's on the bottom I didn't check my cookie Let me see Mark, was there one on the cookie Okay that's a good one I'll write it down

We don't care who his shit head is He won all those prizes This is a consolation What if it's my first wife again Was that while you were on or on another episode? That was when I was on. I think it came up more than once. People really have your back on that.

Podcast listeners are not down with your ex at all. They really support you. Thank you, Podworld. She has some wonderful qualities. She really does. Any plugs, you guys?

I already plugged Monsters University and Spun Out. Spun Out, CTV. September-ish. September-ish. JP Manu and Dave Foley. You could watch Match Game on the Comedy Network almost all the time. Which the cast of Spun Out will be on. Yeah, that's right.

They're going to be on this season. Dave Foley will be a guest. That's going to be a crossover event. We've got to get Doug Benson on there. Oh, I'd love to go on there. I'd love to be on Canadian Match Game. You'll be like everybody else on the show. Who is that?

I did Match Game with Doug and Sketch Fest with Jimmy Pardo. Jimmy was great at it. I dropped a Jew. So I was working with Spielberg. Sorry for dropping a Jew. There's nothing worse than Jew dropping.

But I do love to go and have a drink and a Jew drop in. But you can study Jew droppings to know how healthy they are. and Jew dropping. Yes. But I do love to go and have a drink and do Jew drop in. That's right. But you can study Jew droppings to know how healthy they are. That's right. What their migratory patterns are. Well, thank you to all of my guests.

Let's hear it for them. Sean Collin. Thank you for doing Dave Foley. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. Get ready with the closing theme. I don't know who to pick first, so I'll just say them. As always, composer John Williams is a shithead.

Yeah, I'd knock over a glass in honor of him as well. John Williams is a shithead. There we go. John Williams is a shithead. He's a shithead. What a shithead. John, John Williams is a total shithead He's a shithead, he's a shithead

Head of shit John Williams is a shithead John Williams is a great big shithead John Williams is a shithead Shithead, shithead Shithead, shithead. Shithead, shithead. Woo!

You're jumping. Baz Luhrmann is a shithead. Yeah! Now it's time for us to watch our brothers talk. He hides a bolded view and cowards take it. But he, there's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies