Doug Loves Movies - David Huntsberger and Brendon Walsh Guest

Episode Date: February 13, 2010

Doug welcomes comedians David Huntsberger and Brendon Walsh to the podcast.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with empty acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, because Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name's Doug Benson, and it says here on this piece of paper that I love movies. And we are taping I Love Movies in front of a live audience. Yeah, UCB! Live audience! Yay! UCB Theater in Los Angeles. We're doing this right before Comedy Death Ray You know the drill I still haven't come down You guys

From Leonard Maltin's appearance Last week on the show That was so exciting I cannot tell you It just sort of fell in my lap I wasn't like you know Lobbying to get Leonard Maltin on But then i guess his

daughter is a fan of the podcast and and knows sam levine somehow and uh got him to come down here so if for any reason you're listening to this right now and you haven't listened to the last week's episode uh with len malton go go back and uh check that out initially you know on itunes that we list like uh the names of the guests so that if it's a guest somebody wants to hear, they might check out the podcast. But in this case, for the fans, I wanted it to be a surprise,

that moment where he gets introduced. And so we didn't list his name. So now we're going to go back in and put his name on there so that anyone listening at any point because people are finding this podcast like in the most strange ways mostly through finding it through like somebody that they like that's a guest they listen to it and then they uh you know listen to all of them this is a fascinating story i'm telling i'm quite the storyteller. But I just wanted to mention that not only, Len Maltin was not only a very nice guest on stage

and on the podcast, he also was super friendly backstage, totally gave me a handy. And what a rude thing to say about a guest. He also, he did in fact though send me a copy of his book so I want to plug his book one more time he's got a new book out called 151 best movies

you have never seen in your life you stupid idiot it's kind of a long title and I flipped through it today and 151 movies I've seen 20 of them and someone in the audience said,

nice, but here's the thing. You think that's good? You think that's an accomplishment? But the thing is, most of the 20 I did not particularly care for. So his taste is kind of suspect. I will continue to investigate. And I hope his daughter

Isn't listening to this one No I mean everybody has their own If I listed 150 movies you've never seen Like guessing that you've never seen it But I have and I loved it That would be a fucked up list So he's got some He's got some really interesting choices on there

And then oh my god This is amazing news, you guys. I got an email straight to me at my email address from John Lithgow. Yeah. And, you know, the email said more than this, but I'll just give you the important part. He said, I won't be in L.A. for a couple of months, but check in again in the spring and we'll see what we can do. Warmly, J. The letter J.

He just signs it warmly, J. P.S. I'm going to murder you. Wouldn't that be awesome? If I was John Lithgow, I would put that at the end of every email. Instead of sent from my iPhone, I would say, I'm going to murder you. It would be so much fun. But anyway, he seems like such a nice guy, and his son, Nate, hooked that up.

So he's got a Broadway show that's opening soon, but it's a limited run one. It only runs until, like, April. So I'll talk about John Lithgow in every episode until he shows up. But let's get my guests out here tonight. These two guys, let's see what I wrote down about them. See if it matches up what I think about them. Because I always write down everything I'm going to say or all the points I want to hit during the show,

and then I smoke a lot of pot. So then when I look at it again sometimes i can't even i can't even tell what i wrote just looking at it like what does that even say my guest tonight in honor of black history month are two white comedian friends of mine uh both of whom i actually met in but it turns out they're not from but but I met them in Austin, Texas, and South by Southwest is going to be starting up soon in a month or so, and I'm very excited about that, and I'd like to welcome

to the stage my friends David Huntsberger and Brendan Walsh, everybody. Let's hear it for Dave and Brendan. Dave and Brendan. Good evening. Just pick a microphone. You can either lean into it, or you can pull it out and hold it in your hand and talk into it. I don't know what you're more comfortable with. I like this setup.

That's the sound of David Huntsberger. Yes, hello. No hands. I'm going to leave mine in the thing, too. All right. Let's all leave it in the thing. This will be a total leave it in the thing show. I love it.

It's going great so far. So far, we're leaving them in the thing. So far, we're killing it. We're all wearing hoodies. It's got to be a total leave it in the thing show. I love it. It's going great so far. So far we're killing it. We're all wearing hoodies. It's got to be a good show. I have more of a fleece situation. Yeah, it's not a hoodie. I'm sorry. Take it back.

I don't mean to make you feel bad about your lack of a hoodie. Too late. I already feel terrible. You've got a lot of collar, though, that could be pulled up to cover. Pop that shit, bro. It could cover a lot of your head. It's like half a hoodie. Yeah.

My neck wasn't so disproportionately... It's a neckie. So, David, I met you in Austin, Texas. Where are you from originally? Reno, Nevada. Ooh. Interesting. Thank you.

Very few people have ever met anyone from Reno. Not a lot of us get out. Let me ask you this. When you lived in Reno, did you ever dial 911? I just said that because I'm just impressed that I know that it's Reno 911. A lot of people think it's Reno 911 and that it's about what happens

with a police station in Reno since 9-11. My sister called 911 when she was about five because someone drove by her house really fast on a motorcycle. Oh, God. I'm sure that was before when there's always tapes of the weirdest phone calls to 911. They humored her? Yeah, they put up with her for quite a while until my mom came in and was like, who are you talking to?

Hello? Oh, yeah, someone drove by. We had a drive-by. We're thinking about moving to Compton and we're just practicing the procedure. She's a quick learner. And Brendan, you're from where? I grew up in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Oh, nice Yeah, right, bro? Yeah Do you ever run up those steps? Yeah, of course Everybody does that And yes, I've had a cheese steak before So I think we all recommend

That people should If you're a stand-up comic that's thinking about, like, where can I move to that's not where I live now, but it's also maybe not ready for New York or L.A., we're all in agreement that Austin is a great town to go and just work on

your comedy. Good launching pad. Good small room downtown right on 6th Street. Yeah. Good place to cutth Street. Yeah. Good place to cut your teeth. Sure. That sounds uncomfortable. I also have good dental academies.

Academies? Oh, we got some folks just coming in. Thanks for coming by. Welcome to the show. Let me start over, you guys. Hey, everybody. I'm Doug Benson. Welcome to I Love Movies me start over, you guys. Hey, everybody. I'm Doug Benson.

Welcome to I Love Movies. We're here with... Now, it's Brendan, right? That's right. Brendan. B-R-E-N-D-O-N. Yeah. Like, our mutual friend Tig Notaro,

every time I say your name, she, like, says it back like I'm saying it wrong. No matter how I say it. I'm like, oh, Brendan's coming by. It's Brendan. Nice. What? Well, I put her I'm like Brendan's coming by it's Brendan what? it's Brendan she's always changing it up on me or I'm just always high and think she's doing that to me

because you know how sarcastic she is so I just think maybe she's just fucking with me but people must screw it up all the time constantly yeah it's never spelled properly. And somebody asked me about 90210 every single day of my life. Really?

That happened today? I swear to God. It hasn't happened today, but to be fair. It's about to. It's about to. I just, well, I guess I did it to myself. But this is, I just, I didn't leave my apartment until I came here. So it doesn't happen.

My roommate doesn't ask me. When you're indoors on lockdown, no one asks you, hey, Brendan. Nobody. Well, unless I. Because also, Walsh was their last name also. It was Brandon Walsh was the guy's name. That's the whole reason. I get it.

Well, but people named Brendan or Brandon probably get it a lot too. But the Walsh really sends it home. Yeah. For like 18 years. Like if I have to call the credit card company and go, I never bought all those dildos or whatever. And then the lady, there's always, it's always a lady on the other end. The fictional character, Brendan Walsh, buys a lot of dildos?

Oh, no. And it settles you with it? Or whatever. I don't. Just if there's something. It always catches me off guard when I'm on the phone with a banking situation,

like some kind of serious thing where I'm like, I just want to get this over with. And then the lady on the other end, there's always a pause and she goes, wait, did anybody ever tell you? Did you ever see 90210?

I go, no, no, you're the first one who ever... You're the first one to mention it. First one ever. Now give me my money back from my dildos you know how is uh huntsberger working out for you that's never spelled right is it a lot of a lot of use you know like burger a lot of umlauts and it's not german though is it no it's swiss and i said classic excuse yeah yeah everyone's Swiss. Classic excuse. Yeah, yeah. Everyone says that. You know people named Googles are saying it's Swiss.

No, I looked it up. I asked my grandpa that. I thought we were filthy Germans because I said that to a guy. Oh, no, it's Swiss. Yeah, everyone was after World War II. I was like, ah, I never thought of that. But then he showed me this family tree from like Bern, Switzerland and this whole deal. And it was actually Hans Perger.

Now that we've met our participants, let's play the feud. Let's talk about movies. Let's get into some movie talk. What have you seen lately? I know, Brendan, today when we were discussing your appearance on the show tonight, you're like, should I see a movie today? And I said, if you want to see a movie today, that's the kind of show I run. Did you get out and see one? You know, I didn't get out.

Oh, you watched one at home? I watched a screener of Precious. Screener, that's industry lingo for they send it to you to get you to vote for it. And it's a less pathetic way of saying it to get you to vote for it. What do you win? What's the way of saying it's illegal? My roommate has it. So you watch your roommate's screener that he was supposed to cut in half with the scissors after he

watched it. That's what they tell you to do. Cut it in half with his scissors. But my mom wants to see it. So you watched Precious today. You forced yourself because that's one of my, I finally saw it, but it took a long time for me to put the screener in because I wanted to be in a good mood.

Yeah. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to live a happy life. Yeah. And I was like, I'm not going to watch Precious because it's just going to bum me out. I've been putting it off for two months. Yeah.

It's been sitting around since before Christmas, and then today I was, I'll go see a movie, but it was like hail, and I didn't want to leave. I'm still working up the courage. Yeah. I'm one of those still like- You may never get there. I hope I don't.

It sounds awful. The clips, watch the Academy Awards. If the clips don't make you go, that seems like fun, then maybe it's not the movie for you. You've been raped so much by your daddy, girl. Oh, I want to see that. That looks enticing. That was an amazing impression.

That was my Mariah Carey. Oh, I thought that was Alec Baldwin doing a black person. Always be raping. The ABRs are precious. So, what did you think of it? You know, it's okay. It's good. It's what I expected.

But it did kind of, it's like, well, you know, they just made it to. It's meant to bum you out. It's meant to be an Oscar thing, you know. Which you want to shy away from if you're making a movie. It's very heavy. Yeah. No, but, you know, it's definitely, they're if you're making a movie it's very heavy yeah no but you know it's definitely

they're going for the fences in terms of the drama because it's you know Monique is like throwing a baby around in more than one scene yeah

in one scene she's holding a Down Syndrome baby who they call Mongol not retarded Down Syndrome oh right

yeah and they call the baby Mongol yeah because it's a Mongoloid yeah Who they call Mongol. Brendan, not retarded, Down syndrome. Oh, right. Yeah, and they call the baby Mongol. Yeah, because it's a Mongoloid. Yeah. That's not its real name. What's its real name? Oh, it had a real name? Yeah.

Oh, I thought that's what they named it. No. Well, whatever it is. At one point, she tosses it, tosses it, tosses this poor actual child aside. George Lucas had nothing to do with this movie. It's not CG when the baby gets tossed aside. I was thinking about that when I was watching it, too. Because it's a Down syndrome baby.

That's not makeup, either. Can you imagine the thespian 10 hours in the chair that baby was played by Marlon Wayans alright alright alright so let's go to David what have you seen lately, if anything?

Yeah, I haven't really seen anything new. I caught up on kind of some older ones that I missed. Like I saw Up in the Air finally, and I saw Sunshine Cleaners. Sunshine Cleaning? Cleaning, yeah. Sure. I like that movie. I thought it was unfortunate that one year after Little Miss Sunshine

that they would make a movie called Sunshine Cleaners and get Alan Arkin to play the crotchety. No, listen, I just did one. That's a good Alan Arkin. Why did you pipe in with that when the Gary Glenn Ross reference came up earlier? Go to lunch. That's my Kevin Spacey. Which he should say in those Honda commercials that he does the voiceover for.

Like, oh, we've had to recently recall... Was Honda had to recall? Toyota. Okay, forget it. But he still should yell at people. Who is the voice of Toyota? Does that have a voice? A famous person?

Who? Morgan Freeman? So he should be the commercialist. It should be Invict Us. Isn't John Boy Walton Mercedes? That seems like a weird one. Who? John Boy Walton. Oh, that's him on the Mercedes? Yeah. Richard Thomas.

Alright. Alright. I know Dexter's got a commercial right now that he does. Jeff Bridges is doing Hyundai. And Duracell. I love to tell people who the voice is in those commercials because a lot of people just hear it every time and they get driven crazy by it,

but they also drop it right away. When I hear a new voice in a commercial, I'm like, I can't wait for that commercial to come on again. I won't let it go. Because in a few listens, I'm going to get it. And if I have it DVR'd or something, if I have it where I can rewind it and listen to it again, I will until I figure it out.

Oh, Rob Lowe is in ads right now too a lot. Yeah, I haven't picked up on him. Yeah, he's in the, it's a financial thing, I think. Morgan Webb or something like that. Morgan Freeman. Someone in the audience just said Morgan Freeman. I'm repeating it just so that the listener isn't left out, but I would like to remind the audience...

They're not mic'd. Keep yelling it out. No, that was funny, though. Both times. Good work. Could the guy who yelled that, could you come sit over in this chair right here so that you're one of the participants

When we play the game at the end Do you want to win a prize? Get over here He said absolutely So come sit over where you need to sit I was a little disappointed tonight When I came out Normally in the area where you need to sit to win

There's nobody sitting there You guys are either shy or just way too cool for my shit bag of prizes. Like, oh, what am I going to do with this crap? I'm just going to have to go home and throw this stuff out. You call that a prize? Or give it to a homeless person. No, I got some good stuff tonight,

so that'll be good. What about... Oh, I was going to say, my recent movie that I saw was I watched, this very day, I watched as much of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

as I could, but I had things to do and it's fucking a million hours long. It's like so long that I'm just like, you know, it's sort of interesting to me, but I never read any of the books.

So today I was watching part of it, and I wrote on Twitter something to the effect of, you know, why don't any girls want to play Quidditch? You'd think they'd be, you know, girls could play Quidditch, right? And then, of course, the nerd army that's out there that's fucking not leaving their house until the next movie comes out

just started yelling at me that girls do play Quidditch they play Quidditch and you know they name the movies which was the first two

which are the ones that I refuse to admit exist because when Harry Potter was a little kid it was not interesting it's interesting now

that you know some of them might have intercourse yeah Hermione's done quite fetching the dynamics at the school are interesting It's interesting now that some of them might have intercourse. Yeah, Hermione's done quite fetching. The dynamics at the school are interesting now because there's all these, like, I'm not a soap opera kind of guy, but in between the Quidditch matches that don't make any sense to me,

so-and-so's got a crush on so-and-so. I can follow that. That's a story I understand. That's what you're into. Sure. Yeah. So I'm watching it, and i said that and then i people told me so i'm just want to go on the record here on the show is saying that in the books apparently the girls play quidditch a lot but in the movies it's kind of like i guess it's a mood point or something because

because ron weasley's the quidditch star and it's about him being the quidditch star and it's not about you know cho chang Chang or Angelina Johnson. Everyone's like, Angelina Johnson! And I'm like, who the fuck is Angelina Johnson? I just watch the movies. I don't read books for children. I just want to see teenagers with crushes on each other. Stop wizarding.

I don't know what Quidditch is. Quidditch is the game they play in the movie that the rules are undecipherable. It's as complicated as cricket. Okay. Okay. Yeah, all right. So you rescind yourself from this conversation?

Kind of, yeah. Or you recuse yourself? You recuse and rescind? I'll do them both. All right. Anyway, it's just funny how you can't say anything on Twitter because even if I was

just kidding, let's say I was kidding and I was, let's say the movies were about girls playing Quidditch and I wrote on there, they should let a girl

have a chance. Like, what was that one? Bend It Like Beckham. Like, if I said, I love Bend It Like Beckham but why not a movie

about girls playing soccer? Tweet it right now. A million, yeah, a million responses, not a million, but why not a movie about girls playing soccer? Tweet it right now. A million. Tweet it. A million responses. Not a million, but five people write back. In fact, there were girls playing soccer in that movie. There was Keira Knightley.

There was Pabba Flabba Blooboo Goo, who played Flabba Blooboo Bling on ER. All right. You guys got any all-time favorite movies? That's a question that's always on my list, but we never get to it on this show because there's always too many guests and too much chitter-chatter. You know what happened to me a while ago?

I really liked this movie as a kid. I think everyone has had this, and then I watched it as an adult. Revisit. Yeah, awful. The Power of One. Has anyone seen that? So great as a kid. What, is that like a fighting movie? Like a guy who fights? Yeah, and. The Power of One. Has anyone seen that? So great as a kid. What, that's like a fighting movie? Like a guy who fights? Yeah, and Morgan Freeman. Eh?

Eh? He has to eat some feces off of a dude's shoe. What? Real powerful. Powerful stuff. Why does Morgan Freeman have to eat feces off of his shoe? And Sail the Africa. There's all kinds of stuff going on.

Nobody heard that. But this kid grows up and learns it. You did, and you didn't like it. Sorry. He said it was on his bucket list. See, I knew it. I knew that deserved a laugh. When you said it, nobody laughed.

I was like, what just happened? I should have. So, yeah. That was good. So that yeah. That was good. So that sucked. But who's the lead in Power of One? Well, I don't want to be negative, but I met one of the stars recently.

It really tainted me, really soured me. But that was even after I'd already revisited and still disliked it. Who's the star of it? Stephen Dorff. Yeah. Stephen Dorff, another yellerliked it. Who's the star of it? Stephen Dorff. Another yeller from the audience. He's one of them. There are many that you see the kid go from

his whole life basically and they play him and four different people play him throughout his life and then Morgan Freeman kind of takes him in and teaches him how to box and then the kid unites all these people during apartheid and all that. It's pretty sweet all these people you know and during apartheid and all that it's pretty sweet

oh yeah it's that apartheid movie but it's good now thankfully there's a new apartheid movie and it's called District 9 so we finally can stop talking about Power of One but the kid's like really adorable when he's like no one likes him

beyond fuckable like you'd be crazy not to fuck him that's how adorable this kid is he goes off to this boarding school where no one likes him he's younger than everyone he has this pet chicken and they rough up his chicken out of nowhere and and then he's so he's so traumatized by all that he starts peeing the bed which doesn't sound that bad but when he says he's like and oh it became a bed wetter which here that's that's tear-jerking and uh it just goes on from there so you're really rooting for this kid then he turns into steven dorf and he starts breaking things in front of Britney Spears That's one of the things

Steven Dorff has done He did a video with Britney Spears Where he was like they were having a fight and he broke shit What about you Brendan? What are you all time favorite? All time favorite David's is a power of one Starring Steven Dorff

That's gonna be mine What's your all-time favorite? You know what I watched again recently? It was Happiness. Not the Will Smith one. The other one. That was The Pursuit of Happiness. Oh, it was, okay.

Yeah, Happiness. But retroactively, every movie with the word happiness in the title, happiness should be spelled with a Y. I thought that was what really made that movie a big hit. That's a really good movie, though. I just watched it again recently. Does Philip Seymour Hoffman still shoot a load of jizz on a wall

and then use it to stick a newspaper article up? He sticks it up. That old gag? Yeah, yeah. He sticks a postcard, I think, to the wall. A postcard, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why.

It's powerful. Why hasn't Seaman caught on as an adhesive? Philip Seaman Hoffman? Philip Seaman Jackman. Maybe we could do that game, but with... Never mind. What game? No, no, they are the movie titles.

Movie title game. Let's play it. We could make it with... Now that you mention it, let's play Build-A-Title. I want to just plug the movie real quick, if that's okay. And I think I've asked you, and I don't remember if you've seen it or not, but has anyone seen the movie On a Clear Day? You could see forever?

Barbra Streisand? I don't want to build it up. Omar Sharif? That one? No, it's one of the dudes who was one of the... I don't remember if it's the guy from Lost or one of the dudes who was one of the, I don't remember if it's the guy from Lost or one of the other dudes from Lord of the Rings. Dominic Monaghan?

They were hobbits. Yeah, it's like the two kind of Frodo buddies. The two main hobbits? Yeah, he's one of the two main hobbits. He's in it. This dude, he was in Braveheart, but like a real background role. But you know his face.

If I wanted to have a conversation I'd have with my grandfather, I would make a phone call instead of mounting a podcast. He's a handsome young fella. You know him. I like that you prefaced it with you're plugging the movie I like well I just want to say

the title he wants to get the word out about this movie he's vaguely familiar with no one's things happen in it it's got a beginning there's a resolution

that's nice it was just like that's good a nice resolution yeah after a real strong conflict this dude what's it called it's called On a Clear Day On, after a real strong conflict This dude What's it called? It's called On a Clear Day?

On a Clear Day I'm gonna see what Leonard Maltin has to say about this shit Leonard Maltin solves all arguments from now on Not that we're having an argument It was me on the couch with like no build up Like I'm bored and there's a movie, I'll check it out So you're like, you're not expecting anything going into a movie like that So when it even remotely interests you, you're like, that's the best!

And that's what happened to me. So I wanted to see if anyone else had seen it and was like, no, it's horrible. But I feel like people would genuinely like it. It's pretty good. All right, so the two movies that came up were On a Clear Day You Can See Forever, which is what I thought you were talking about,

and then another movie called On a Clear Day, directed by Gabby DeLalo. It's British, from 2005. Leonard gives it three stars. And he says that it's a little obvious in its message and more than a bit reminiscent of the Full Monty. Shut up, Leonard Vaughn. Leave me alone.

I just like it. I'm already out. I'm done. I don't need anything that's reminiscent of the Full Monty. The Full Monty in and of itself reminds me of the Full Monty. Yeah, I dislike the Full Monty a great deal as well. But I will stand by this one. But he says, well done.

And he says that Peter Mullen is perfect in the lead. That's a Braveheart guy. The lead actor is Peter Mullen. There you go. All right. But did anyone know Peter Mullen? Like, I don't feel... And Billy Boyd is in it.

I think that's who is from... The Midget? No. That's Billy Barty. Oh. You're going to be great at this game. I can't wait to play it. But let's get in a quick build-a-title since I brought it up.

But we're running out of time now, so let's do a quick one. Since you guys are from... Or I met you in, but we're running out of time now, so let's do a quick one. Since you guys are from or I met you in Texas, you're not really from there, I decided that the build a title will be Paris, Texas. Ah, I like that movie. Let's start with you, David. Okay.

And add something to that. Last Tango in Paris, Texas. Oh, I love it. Yeah, it's a good one, right. Last Tango in Paris, Texas. Oh, I love it. Oh. Yeah, it's a good one, right? Last Tango in Paris, Texas. All right, Brendan, you can add to either end.

You need to end in last or begin in Texas. Like you did with your comedy career. What? He began in Texas. Sort of. In Philly, you started, but... No, no, I didn't start until I moved to Austin. Okay, cool.

Last tango in Paris, Texas, Chainsaw Massacre. It had to be done. Don't say it like that's easy. No, I feel like I should be more clever. Same with my comedy. Come on, buck up, sport. I suck. You're the best.

It's the worst. All right, so I got to think of something that begins in Massacre. I was trying to think of, like, something, if there's something that begins with acre. Like, acres in a mule directed by Spike Lee. Cur. Oh man Courageous something Massa Courageous And then something that ends in last What's something that ends in last

I don't think anything ends in the word last It feels like there should be a movie Entitled Save the Best for Last But it's not ringing a bell Seems like it should be a movie entitled Save the Best for Last, but it's not ringing a bell. Seems like it should be. Seems like it should be a perfectly awful movie. Starring Amanda Bynes! I think it was written and directed by Nancy

Myers. Save the Best for Last, because she's doing a whole bunch of stuff about people that are getting older or whatever. Something's gotta give. Dude, oh, you know how great was it to see Catherine Bigelow win an award after she got overlooked for point break that might be my favorite movie getting back to that that might be my favorite movie i defy you to make a better day on uh on graham

elwood's podcast i went over and did that today and uh uh we were his his podcast is called comedy film nerds and we were talking about how Point Break is like it's terrible, like it's not good but so watchable and so like Patrick Swayze is like so committed to that horribly written silly part that you

like totally buy it. I know it was a little harder to buy but and what's her name? What's the name of that actress? Lori Petty. Oh, the tank girl. Oh, Jesus. Don't get me started about Lori Petty. She's the Chloe Sevigny of her generation.

Not a compliment. All right. So I give up, because we've got to move on to the Leonard Maltin game. Massa Car Wash. Huh? Car Wash. Massa Car to the Leonard Maltin game Massa Car Wash Huh? Car Wash Massa Car Wash?

I don't know Massa Car Wash? Boo Massa Car Wash But it's David's turn Do you know any movies ending last? Or was that your guess? You skipped?

Save the Best for Last Wait you skipped I'm out I lost Oh so it's down to the two of us I don't think Save the Best for Last is a movie Alright how about this How about Last Tango in Paris down to the two of us. I don't think Save the Best for Last is a movie. All right,

how about this? How about Last Tango in Paris, Texas Chainsaw Massacre Courage Under Fire. Courage Under Fire is the name of the movie? Mm-hmm. Who was in that?

Was that Denzel Washington? Denzel and Matt Damon when he lost. I like it. I like it mostly just because it keeps the game going.

Massacre Courage under fire. And that pisses off the listeners who hate this game. You're welcome, jerks. All right, so it's back to you. So you've got to end it with something that begins with fire. Fire in the hole. Fired up. Somebody in the audience has a suggestion Alright fire walk with me

But wasn't that called twin peaks fire walk You cheater Made me cheat Eject her from the building Make her eat pancakes with David Lynch At the Bob's Big Boy in Burbank He used to go there everyday for lunch I don't know if he does anymore At the Bob's Big Boy in Burbank. Oh. He used to go there every day for lunch.

I don't know if he does anymore. If you want to see David Lynch. I'm trying. You're trying? I'm trying. There's one about firehouse dog or something. Oh, that's right. How about... What was that called?

Is that called firehouse dog? No. Yeah, I think so. All right. Firehouse dog. I like it. Damn it. I was hoping you were going to say Firestarter. It's your very own. Such a beauty. But what starts with starter?

Party? That would hurt you. Darren Carter comma the party. Do you have any movies that start with dog? I can think of a bunch of them, but I'm out. What do we have? Firehouse Dog? Yeah. Dog Day Afternoon? Firehouse Dog? Yeah. Dog Day Afternoon? Afternoon.

Day Afternoon. So do you have something that begins in afternoon or just noon? Noon Afternoon Delight. That's not a movie, is it? No. If it is, it's Swiss. Bringing it back. Afternoon. Noon.

Noon. Noon over Miami no noon afternoon noon high three o'clock does anybody have a noon movie

I don't think anything begins with noon that begins with high I just said noon high are you more stoned than me is that possible we still haven't figured out if there's any movies I just said noon high. Are you more stoned than me? Is that possible? We still haven't figured out if there's any movies ending last. Did anybody think of a movie that ends in last?

I like Blaster. Oh, Blast. Last Picture Show. You don't get this game at all. All right, so we're calling it at Last Tango in Paris, Texas. Chainsaw Massacourage under Firehouse Dog Day Afternoon. That's a beauty. That's our build-a-title.

All right, let's play Len Malton. Got just enough time to play Len Malton. I love that there's applause there. Because, again, people that hate that game are sitting listening to it. They have two earbuds in. They hear a whole audience applauding that worthless waste of time

that we just went through. What is the point? All right, let's get some people for you guys to play for. There's some great prizes. We have our friend here that yelled out from the audience earlier. Let's go talk to him briefly. What's your name?

Desmond. Sure it is. Desmond, who of these two gentlemen david huntsberger or brendan walsh from 90210 would you like uh to have uh play for you in the game today green jacket green jacket for everyone i refuse i refuse green jacket on I'm tanking it, Desmond. Green jacket, no hood, Desmond. And what's your name? I'm Chris. Hi, Chris.

And you sat here because you wanted to participate. And who would you like to play for you? Hoodie. Hoodie. Beardy hoodie. All right. His beard used to be a lot bigger, and I thought it would be funny if he came on the show with the big beard,

and every time I asked him something, he was like, eh, I slept through that. Like he's been asleep for a long time. But now his beard is more managed. More managed, yeah. It's totally managed. All right, so what was your name again? Chris.

All right, Chris. Brendan's playing for Chris, and David's playing for Desmond. Green Jacket's playing for Desmond. Yes, Green Jacket. Which is a girl's name, Desmond. Green Jacket's playing for Desmond. Yes, Green Jacket. Which is a girl's name, Desmond. You know that. And it's funny because...

We already made that joke in our head. Everybody here. Is your last name Jones? Armitage. Armitage, close. Okay. The topic of the Leonard Maltin game, all the movies tonight, because theoretically this particular podcast will plop in time for Valentine's Day.

So I went with tearjerkers. All right. These are all movies that are considered tearjerkers, an expression that David used earlier in this podcast. Unbeknownst. I was excited to hear it. And so let's start with David. And you're playing for Desmond.

And you can choose. Do you want to do a movie that's from 2008, 2004, or 1983? Do you want to do one before you were born? Or in your lifetime? Tear Jerker from 83. 83, 04, 08. Pick one. 83?

Somebody says two. Okay, yeah. You're going with 83? Yeah, I was alive in 83. Okay. Barely. I was already mixing it up. All right.

This is a Tear Jerker that len our buddy len malton gives it four stars and he says one thing he says about it is that there was a sequel it was another movie was made after this one with some of the same characters. And there are seven names. Let's start the bidding. 83, four stars, sequel. Tearjerker with a sequel. That's an odd combo. Right?

Because people die in Tearjerkers. How could there be another movie? I want to cry more. Is it a sequel called Rebirth? Oh. Oh, I think I've got it. Really? Maybe.

How many names do you think you can get it in? I'll say six Six names Really impressive bid Seven names total, he went six I don't need all seven But that makes it tough at five, I think That's what I was thinking

I'll try five He'll try five? So you're going to say name that movie on him now, or are you going to bid lower? I'll say name that movie. All right. Here we go. You got five names. I think it's easy, but that's because I know what the movie is already.

Danny DeVito, very well-known person. Lisa Hart Carroll, don't know-known person. Lisa Hart Carroll. Don't know who that is. Jeff Daniels. All right. He's got a chin like yours, but he doesn't cover it up with a crazy beard. Somebody went, oh. No, they don't have similar chins at all.

But Jeff Daniels, seriously, when he played Jay Leno on Saturday Night Live, they only had to put just a little more chin on. He's got a lot of chin. John Lithgow. Future friend of the show, John Lithgow is in this movie. And name number five, Jack Nicholson. Is it... There's only two names left.

Yeah, yeah. What the hell is that movie called? And it's from 1983. I was thinking... Len gives it four stars that movie called? And it's from 1983. I was thinking that. Len gives it four stars. Is it... And there's a sequel. People in the audience are murmuring.

I know what it is. People know it. It's driving them crazy. It's like... You've got ten seconds. Four, three, two... It's not Kramer versus Kramer, is it? No, it's definitely not Kramer.

Oh, shit. I don't know. It's not ordinary Kramer versus Kramer. No, it's definitely not Kramer. Oh, shit. I don't know. It's not ordinary Kramer. Story of a tall, lanky, racist. Okay, yeah, I can't think of it. It was an easy one, though. I know, I know it. I just can't.

Deborah Winger and Shirley MacLaine are the other names. You still don't know the name? No, I mean, Jack Nicholson, I just can't think of the title of it. I know, because it's got one of those titles that's just so generic that it could have been called anything. It could have been called Terms of Endearment. That's it. That's fucking it.

I know it. That was like, yeah, I was having the same thing. Kramer vs. Kramer, Ordinary People, Terms of Endearment. They like, yeah, I was having the same thing. Kramer versus Kramer, Ordinary People, Turns of Endearment. They're all there. They're all the same thing. There's a trifecta of movies that make you cry that got lots of Academy Awards, and that was one of them. I was picturing the Chris Farley show.

You remember in Turns of Endearment, but I couldn't hear the title. All right. Damn it. Here we go. So you get to start us off on this next one because it's David Huntsberger's game to win. Congratulations, Desmond. Boom. I'm being poised to win.

So, Brendan, do you want to do 2008, 2004, or 2009? Let's try 2000. 2004. All right, here we go. This movie, Leonard gave it three stars. I might give it more. God damn it.

Why are you so angry at him? In terms of endearment, it was fucking hell. I knew it. But that's how this game works. When you're sitting here, it's fucking crazy hard. Like when you're in the audience, when you're listening at home,

don't sit there going, I can't believe they don't know this. You're just sitting at home touching your balls. Of course you're going to know it. If he could reach down right now and just grab at his balls, he would have been able to figure it out. There was some skirting in front of this table. Three stars, 2004. It's a tearjerker.

Maybe not in some people's estimation, but definitely in mine. I just want to say that. I want to just get that out there. That might not be universally thought of as a tearjerker. And then he says, Leonard calls it entertaining,

comma, picaresque. Which picaresque essentially doesn't it mean picturesque but it just has less letters in it? Right? Isn't it kind of the same thing? I've never heard picaresque before. I think it's one of those words every time I've read it I've thought it was a typo. Alright let me give you a better one.

Propelled by strong performances. So that's a better clue. 2004 right? And there are nine names. You start the bidding. I can name it in nine names.

David? I'll go eight. Eight names? Let's say seven. Okay. He says seven. I'll go six. He's say seven. Okay. He says seven. I'll go six. He's going six. People are gasping in the audience.

Or someone has an oxygen tank. Okay. I'll say five. Oh, Jesus. He's going to do it. Oh, my God. Let's say you, David. He say five. Oh, Jesus. We're going to do it. Oh, my God. Let's say you, David. He says five.

There were only like eight movies made that year. I know, and I don't want to win by you losing. I'd rather try to win. Oh, that's a great approach. Take him down however you can. That's what I'm saying. Oh, however I can. Yeah.

Then name that movie. All right. Because we're also running out of time. Yeah, okay. Margot Martindale. That's of no help to you. That is huge. Brian O'Byrne.

The midget? No. You don't know your midgets all that well. All right. Brian O'Byrne. He played the lead in Doubt that was played in the movie by, he played it on Broadway. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was played by Seymour Hoffman In the movie

Seymour Hoffman Lucia Lucia Reijker R-I-J-K-E-R I don't know how to pronounce it And I don't know who that is Mike Coulter I don't know who that is again

You're looking tough dude And then the only name That can possibly help you And probably won't Is Jay Boruchel He's the guy that's in A lot of Apatow stuff He was in won't is Jay Boruchel. He's the guy that's in a lot of Apatow stuff. He was in...

He was the lead in the TV show. What was it called? Freaks and Geeks? Undeclared. He was the lead in Undeclared. He was always trying to get laid and then that other guy would walk in. Tearjerker 2004. Yeah, you're never going to get this.

Is it... I like the way you're acting like you're about to have a great guess. I'd really like to just blow everybody's fucking minds right now. But I just can't even think of any movie title. Don't say it, but does anyone know it? No one here knows it. For two reasons, mostly on account of Desmond

If you get this I will concede victory to you You'll win Instead of being tied 1-1 Wow that's unprecedented And it's not your decision Desmond made that decision If I don't get it You can be the guest

But do you really have an idea Or are you just sitting here stalling for time? I, is it, I, is it? I don't know anything.

I can't think of anything. I'm trying. It's tough. It's tough. Jay Bruichel has like a pretty big part in it but he plays kind of like a pseudo retarded kid.

Like he's got, My name is Sam. He's kind of slow but he's also, but he's, Or I am Sam. I don't even know how to say... My name is Sam!

Ugh! Brendan Smash! All right. Well, jump in when you know it. I'll say the rest of the names. Anthony Mackie, Morgan Freeman, Hillary Swank,

Clint Eastwood. A baby. A million dollar baby. Yeah. A million dollar baby. God, a million dollar baby. So that was hard though. But do you guys think that's a tearjerker? I thought it was really sad,

but maybe some people don't agree. No? It's a comedy? Stool mishaps. Good one. All right, so Desmond is our winner. Congratulations, Desmond. Sorry, Chris. You win.

This was given to me by the good folks at Formula 420. For all your bong cleaning needs, they gave me a cool carrying case and then a few bottles of some of their products. They have a thing called Bling that you can clean what with, and then another thing called Formula 420 that you can clean. They have a lot of different products. I think they're all supposed to clean bongs. But they also make stuff that you can spray

in a room to get rid of the pot smell. And they've always been very nice to me at Formula 420, so I am happy to pass along some of their stuff. And then you also get a copy of the screenplay of The Secret Life of Bees. It's a real page turner.

Hope she spells that word right. And then also, I didn't know if it would be a woman or a man playing. So I thought, you know, bong cleaner and then some very feminine books. The screenplay for Julie and Julia. And congratulations on winning all of that. And our other player, Chris, he gets to decide who's the shithead, so just tell me. Oh, that's a good one.

Okay. And do you guys have anything you want to plug before we go? I just put a new... Upcoming gigs. I just put a new drawing on my website that is a... Oh, a new drawing.

But this one I like. Can I look it up now before we leave the stage? I can't wait to see it. It's one of my things I like to do. No, you're a talented artist. Moderately. Yeah, and You're a talented artist.

Moderately. Yeah, and you have a new drawing. And this one is of a dude shooting up some heroin, but he has a tattoo on his arm that's a little pinky mouse, so it looks like he's feeding the mouse with the syringe. It's like the lighter side of doing heroin. As you often do. As you often do with small rodents. Sure, yeah.

You feed them with a syringe. Yeah, I had a friend that used to give them to his snake, and that's how he would feed them. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. So just look at it. So wait a second.

Did you say where we could see this drawing, or do we have to hunt for it? Just let's hunt. Find me on the street. DavidHuntsberger.com. Okay. DavidHuntsberger.com. And Doug and I will be in Bellevue, Washington together March 4th through 6th. Oh, yeah.

Okay. I'm going to mention that in a second. And then, Brendan, what do you got? When does this come out? It comes out soon enough. So like anything that's coming up in the next few weeks that you got going on. February 18th. Of 2010.

You'll be where? I'll be at the Purple Onion in San Francisco. Oh, that's nice. We got some listeners up there. And then the following week, I'll be at the San Jose Improv, the 24th and 25th. And on the 25th, Doug Stanhope will be performing with me, too. Oh, that's nice. We've got some listeners up there. And then the following week, I'll be at the San Jose Improv, the 24th and 25th. And on the 25th, Doug Stanhope will be performing with me, too. Oh, that's an awesome show. You and Doug Stanhope.

I would love to see that. That's on February 25th at the San Jose Improv. And I'll be there headlining the 24th. Oh, okay, yeah. So come the... Forget what I just said. Come watch Brandon headline and blow off the most amazing show. Well, no, you can go see both.

Oh, that's a good idea. Are you pledging to do different material on both nights? If you email me, if you're going to be there, I'll do it. If someone emails you that they're coming to both. Yeah, I only have to do 20 minutes before Doug. If someone proves they're coming to both. I fart out 20 minutes of new material every day. Oops.

I just got some new material. Oops I just got some new material I got The Benson Interruption is coming up on February 22nd At Largo in Los Angeles With Adam Carolla and other special guests I'll be with David Hunsberger At Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington

March 4th through 6th of 2010 And I'm excited about Austin And South by Southwest. I'm going to be at the Cap City Comedy Club there March 9 through 11. And then it might pop up, you know, if you're walking around 6th Street, you know, drunk late at night, I'll be walking around eating a sausage. Yeah.

And last year you put stickers on people. That was really funny. Oh, yeah. I had stickers to put on people. I don't have any this year. Look for a new episode of I Love Movies in about a week, listeners. And as always, Chuck Norris is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.

He hides a bolt of view and prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.