Doug Loves Movies - David Huntsberger Vs. Salt Lake City

Episode Date: July 15, 2012

Bonus ep! Live from Wiseguys Comedy Club in Salt Lake City, David Huntsberger takes on all comers in the Leonard Maltin Game.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love the cinema. This is Doug Loves the Cinema. Coming to you from a hotel room in Salt Lake City, Utah, on July 16th, 2 Oceans 12, on the morning after two shows at Wise Guys Comedy Club, the Trolley Square location. My opening act, David Huntsberger, took on all comers in the Leonard Maltin game in both shows, and the recording isn't very good. It's echoey, and you can hear me much more clearly than the contestants. But I thought you might want to hear it anyway.

So first up, here's the 420 show. Oh, and while we're taking this technical moment... The technical moment's over, but go ahead. No, what were you going to say? I was going to plug my show tomorrow night at Batter is Up. Have you guys heard of a sports bar called Batter is Up? It's Batter apostrophe S Up. Batter is Up.

Yes, and I love it. Which is the expression they use next batter is up I guess if you called it batter up if it was just called batter up that would make sense I like that one

yeah what's your point but so David will be there doing his own headlining set tomorrow night so Yeah, what's your point? But so David will be there doing his own headlining set tomorrow night. So even if he can't make it. That'll be Monday, July 16th. Yes. So hopefully if this recording turns out good, I'll post it later tonight. And we'll give you a little extra promotional boost. It'll be great.

It'll be great. Yeah, that'll give you a little extra promotional boost. Be great! That's exciting. So David gets to pick somebody to play the game against. We've got some wonderful prizes here. We've got David's CD Humanitus

and Humanitis and my first CD Professional Hum Humor Idiot, and the new one that we talked about earlier this evening, Smug Life, all can be yours if you can beat David in one round of the Leonard Moulton game. So let's see your name tags and see who's eligible to play.

Oh, Kevin's got an elaborate one. Oh, my God, that's huge. It's some sort of film festival poster. Did you write your name on it somewhere? Oh, yeah, got an elaborate one. Oh my god, that's huge. It's some sort of film festival poster. Did you write your name on it somewhere? Oh yeah, there you go. Instead of Sundance Film Festival, it's the Kev Dance Film Festival. And what's this over here? Instead of White Christmas, you change it to White Chris. Which is pretty much on the all. Oh, there's black guys named Chris.

Right? Chris Rock. I mean if you want to go for a skewered black guy named Chris, you can go Chris Rock. Alright so white Chris is here and we got the human kentope. And with the drawing of stuff going in the mouth of the first person, and after an accident, the next person, and so on and so forth. So I'm not a fan of that picture. And then Amber, in her picture is of a labyrinth, and it says, El Amber is... That's pretty clever. And I can't see much further than that, but I see there's some other ones out there in the dark. So, David, who would you like to play against? I like the centipede because he drew arrows, as in, food this way, food that way.

But I don't feel like I choose girls enough, so I'm going to go with El Amberin. Okay. Good system. We'll go after El Amberin. So, everybody, the name tag, they got it done. They made it happen. There it is. And you can hold it and stand with David over there.

You guys will share a microphone so we get all of your comments. What part of town are you being recorded? Yes, I do. Oh, good. You remember. And what part of town are you from? Salt Lake City. Alright, there's no reason to disparage the entire podcast. You don't live here. I do not live here, that is true.

It's one of my favorite things about this place. I heard a rumor that it gets cold sometimes. Like in this crowd right now. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get in here. I heard a rumor that it gets cold sometimes. Like in this crowd right now. Hey! What? Me? Noises? No, I must be on the record as saying

every time I've been to Salt Lake City, I've had a wonderful time, but that's because I do a show, and you guys show up, and the rest of those people can fuck off. That's a great way for me to get new fans. New fans in Salt Lake. As soon as I got on the train, I said, no, Nate told you to fuck off.

I only want you guys to come from now on. And your friends. You can bring friends. So I'm going to look at my app here. David, I was doing a show in Vegas, and you know how I use the app to look at my... the Leonard Maltin app. I use it on my phone to play the game. A drunk guy in Vegas, very late, after we'd been playing the game for a while,

goes, hey hey stop texting like I was texting people while running this game yeah yeah I knew it all in my head I was just I wanted to get I was multitasking yeah oh that guy can text while he's doing this? Yeah. No, that guy was a fucking idiot. All right, here we go. Amber. That's why you have a name tag, so I can tell what your name is.

Under pressure. Okay, what? Amanda's okay. I get that a lot. Why do they call you Amanda? Because they can't remember Amber. Because it's Salt Lake City, dude. I think that's why you don't like this town, because it's a town full of people who can't remember Amber.

I'm here to say, fuck yourself, Amanda. You're Amber. I call you Amber, but I just like my names longer. So suck it up, Amanda. I call you Amber but I just like my names longer. So suck it up Amanda and go make some more shakes for the customers. I don't know where you work. I don't know where she works. I don't know what she does. At a hotel. Make some shakes for the guests. Or some cookies. Can you say which hotel? Yeah, the Baymont.

The Baymont. Nice. Okay, you get to pick from three categories, Amber. And this is just between Amber, Amanda, and David. No one else gets to compete, so please don't yell out if you think you know the answer. That's the great thing about 420 shows. There's no yelling drunks. At the nighttime shows people just yell out what they think the answer is. Katie Schick! You know, it's like, no, it's Schindler's List.

Okay. Which one of these categories would you enjoy playing? Hasta la vista, maybe? That's movies where Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't kill anyone. But he's in it. That'd be weird to just be, movies where Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't kill anyone.

The category is most movies. No, the ones that he's in and doesn't kill anyone. Or Lord of the Rings, which is films that take place during or at the Olympics, or celebrating a birthday today, Forest Whitaker. The great crazy-eyed Forest Whitaker is something years old today, and so the films of Forest Whitaker. Which one of those would you like to play, Amber Amanda?

Lord of the Rings? Lord of the Rings? Okay. Amber Amanda Lord of the Rings okay this Lord of the Rings movie that is about or near the Olympics is from 1981 wow I know

tough break we'll probably be getting another contestant up here three and a half stars from Leonard for this 1981 movie he calls it absorbing and unusual. He also says it's a drama and

it won several Oscars from 1981. It has something to do with the Olympics. And Leonard lists 13 names. So how many names? Don't worry if you don't get it.

Girl in the audience, I don't get it. You don't have to get it. It's all on Amanda Gerber. Seriously, if you're with Amanda, you are. Call her... I mean Amber.

Call her Amanda Burr from now on. Amanda Burr. The most white trash name ever given a person. How many names out of 13 do you think you can get it in, Amber? Maybe 12. Maybe 12? So confident poker face going on there. Confident poker mouth.

12 maybe. What do you think David? 11. He says 11. 8. 8. Big leap from Amber. Name it. Name it says David in a very intense way.

It's like he's barely awake. I'm so awake, Doug. That's my focused demeanor. Okay, you get eight names. If you can't name it, we'll bring somebody else up here to try again. Absorbing an unusual drama, won some Oscars, has something to do with the Olympics, and your eight names are Brad Davis, Dennis Christopher, Nigel Davenport, Patrick McGee, Lindsey Anderson,

John Gielgud, Ian Holm, and Cheryl Campbell, the great Cheryl Campbell. Do you have a guess Amber? Guess a movie that has something to do with the Olympics. Came out around 1981. That's older than I am. Well, just think of some old-ass movie that had something to do with the Olympics. I thought the topic was Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. This girl. I thought the topic was Lord of the Rings.

I'm so happy she's not playing. So no guess at all? You just give up? Okay, sit down. Some guy's guessing miracle back there, but no. It's called Chariots of Fire. Lots of people know it. Chariots of Fire.

I should have ran in slow motion on a beach. That might have helped you a little bit. But thank you for playing, Amber. I want to call her Amanda so bad. Thank you for playing, Amber. Alright, let's get somebody else up here real quick. We're running out of time. Come on, that's the best.

Which one is it? It has a bunch of nice stuff in it. It's fantastic. But just for the one young lady in the audience, the categories are misleading when I first announced them. And then they turned out to be about something else. And this is a very, very complex name tag.

Oh my god, look at that. I make these for a living. Let him talk into the microphone when he talks. I make these for a living. Are you joking or are you really doing it? No. Signs for like... For David.

I just follow David around making signs. Alright. I'm just going to go ahead and do it. I'm going to go ahead and do it. I'm going to go ahead and do it. I'm going to go ahead and do it. I'm going to go ahead and do it. I you joking or are you really doing it? Signs for like... For David. I just follow David around making signs. Alright, sit the fuck down. Let's get, let's get, let's get you and Ted to meet up here.

I'm not just kidding. I see it. It's this Doug Loves Movie. It's got David's album cover. It's got you and your face. And it says you versus David, like you came here and I'm ready to compete. And then you got the header for my website and put that across the page. Yeah, it's a great sign. We'll take a picture of it after the show and show it to the listeners so they know what not to do. No, I like it. It's good. Yeah, let's stop people pooping into each other's mouths. Let him speak into the microphone when he speaks. You've got to shove it into his mouth. No, I'm not. I'm holding it here with my arm tired.

I've got it. All right, so it's on you. You've got to lean in and talk. I'm leaning into it. Yeah, because we want to hear you if I use this on the podcast. His name is Steve, and he gets to pick from the following categories. Would you like Also Expendable, which is movies featuring cast members from the expendables? Or The World According to LARP, which is a movie that has role-playing games in it?

Or, these are all Comic-Con categories, in case you haven't figured it out. Or X-Men, which is films that have a tranny in them. Which one? Spendables? Okay, this movie's got someone from the Spendables in its cast. It's from 2006. Leonard gave it two and a half stars. He says that this movie is about the title character, so that someone's name is in the title. And then he also says about it, not as bad as it might have been.

Yeah, not as bad as it might have been. And he lists six, seven, eight, nine names? Three, four, five, six, eight, nine names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Steve? Seven. Strong, respectable opening bid? I'll say six. Name that David Sunsberger. Did you call him Sunsberger?

You are having so much fun up here. I opened my presents at 50, too. Mike in the mouth! I wonder if Mike in the mouth. I wonder if Mike in the mouth is something that guy has yelled before. Or if that was his first time yelling Mike in the mouth. What's up, Mike in his mouth? All right, David, you get six names.

Do you want the clues again? Yes, ladies. If I were to guess that, it could have been worse. Yeah. And your six names are Antonio Tarver, that guy. He's a boxer. Henry G. Sanders. Is he really?

Yeah. Oh, well. A.J. Benza Benza Tony Burton James Francis Kelly the third and get Geraldine Hughes we've gone so far over time you guys this is gonna be you got to take it down, Chris. We're not even going to ask you anything about yourself. I'm a big fan of Dr. Spaceship. I told you we're not going to talk to you. Dr. Spaceship.

Yay, Dr. Spaceship. We should say it's called Professor Blastoff. I do like to call it other things. And White Chris is up here. Would you like Breaking Bond, that's movies where someone who's played James Bond is in another movie, or Dead Horse, which is a movie that had four or more sequels, as in beating a dead horse, or I'm So Thor, which is movies where someone has a lisp. I'm So Thor, which is movies where someone has a lisp.

I was at a restaurant last night, and the waiter had a front lisp, meaning that his tongue was always trying to touch his nose, and he was a big scallops guy. He would recommend scallops with that lisp. You think he would just be like, just have some fish. The fish here is good. You choose. Which one of those categories, Chris? Dead Horse.

Dead Horse. All right, this is a movie with four or more sequels. This particular movie, again, it's an oldie, but you may be able to figure it out. It's from 1979. Two and a half stars from Leonard Maltin. He says about this movie that it is slow, talky, and derivative, and somewhat redeemed by terrific special effects.

Somewhat redeemed. And there are 12 names. How many names, Chris? Eight. Take it down. He says eight. You're giving him eight names. All right. I did. Okay. And you did it. That's a great way to speed it along. Just give up. Okay, I'm gonna read the clues again. Your eight names are Mark Leonard, Grace Lee Whitney, Majel Barrett, George Takei, Walter Koenig, Michelle Nichols, and James Doohan, and Persis Kambada. Okay.

What's it called? What year? What? What year? It's 1979. And it had a lot of sequels. Oh, it's the one that has Star Trek. Yeah. Star Trek The Motion Picture.

Star Trek The Motion Picture, we did it! Star Trek The Motion Picture. Congratulations Chris, you win. It's everything that's in the bag. Thank you so much for playing. One more time for David Huntsberger, everybody. Thank you, 420 Utah Show. I hope this recording turned out good. That was fun, wasn't it?

I think every show you should be able to hear me clearly, and the other guests are just in the background, like the next time T.j miller pete holmes and jeff garland are on together oh yeah you heard right i've talked to all three and there will be a rematch coming soon now let's listen to the leonard malton game from the eight o'clock show at wise guys last night lots of callbacks to earlier in the evening that you probably won't understand and the sound is even worse on this one so enjoy all right Utah are you hungry for games it really sounded like someone was slowly murdered. To me, during that applause. Or maybe I'm hallucinating.

I don't hallucinate. Like, that drives me crazy in movies when somebody gets high and then they show, like, these crazy hallucinations that that person's seeing. It's like, oh, so there was crack in that weed. There was something in that. Very immediate, too. There's a... weed there was something in that they stand there talking to a tree or something like I'll talk to a tree but I know it's not going to say shit you know

I mean I'll just be like you know having a laugh? He's having a laugh. God damn, that makes me laugh. Is it laugh or laugh? Because you're from Reno. You're from Reno, Laughlin, Nevada. That's right. Yeah.

So laugh. There you go. So it is laugh. You have to say laugh from now on if I have to say Nevada. That's incorrect. Which one's incorrectugh. You have to say Laugh from now on if I have to say Nevada. That's incorrect. Which one's incorrect? Did I have to say that? I don't know. There is no agree or disagree when you share the stage with me. I am a bossy pothead.

All right. Let's see your name tags, you guys. Let's check out what kind of... Jacob wrote it down on his receipt or something, and as did Erica, so congratulations to you for your last-minute participation. Is there no one up front with the real name tag? Right here. Right here, oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, he wrote it on the side of his beer. It's a beer. A beer. Very clever. It's his way of saying you can have that beer that he didn't put anything in. He's not attracted to handsome comedians. Danny put it on some food. What's in that? I invited Matt. Oh, that's cool. I just want to know. A pita wrap thing. A pita wrap thing to go? What's left of it. What's left of it? You ate some of

it. So you're leftovers. All right, Danny leftovers. And John has a hockey puck. All right. Fair enough. Rub it on your mouth real quick. It's a callback that none of the listeners are going to understand. Why did Doug ask that guy to rub a hockey puck on his mouth? Why does Doug do anything for that matter?

All right, so let's interview the contestant. What's your name, Matt? Matt. That's your hell of a Matt. Your door Matt that says, Hi, I'm Matt. Exactly. Is that your actual Matt from your home? Yeah, it's indoors though, so no one's trying to come in. Yeah, you don't want to be in trouble, right? That's some of the guns in pristine condition. That's Matt.

That's a nice amount. What parts of these parts are you talking about? North of here. Clinton. Clinton? Okay. Is the Alton-Rice-Dyce closer to Clinton than to here? Yes. Okay, so we know you have choices in choosing your topic, though. Thank you for coming to see me. You're very welcome. Okay, thanks. And do you know how to play the letter ball game?

Yes. Alright, and you will win, I forgot to mention, copies of David Hunsberger's Humanitis, and my... You said it right. I know. Who are you? I'm in the zone. And my albums are called Snigley's and

Professional Moecathedon. I'm Moecathedon. And Humanize. And Matt is our player. He's going to pick. If you think you know the answer or have the urge to say an expression from pop culture, please don't. This is the

part of the show that's just between Matt and David. Matt gets to pick a category from the following three categories. Matt, would you like in theaters, ciao! And that's movies that are set in Italy.

Or would you like holidays that Gary Marshall hasn't ruined yet? Pretty self-explanatory. Or would you like ghost propofol? And that's movies where a Michael Jackson song is featured. The holidays one. Holidays. Holidays. Don't yell out. I beg you. Not to yell out. Which one of these are we going to pick? I'll give you a choice of two years. I think I played one of these on the show recently,

so if you've been listening lately, you'll have a leg up on David, who doesn't have time to listen to my podcast. That'd be hilarious. I would love to end this way. Like he's already heard this whole thing already. But sometimes I pick different clues. 1996 is the year.

Or 2007 is the other year. 96 you want. Do you know what this is already? It's a holiday. A movie based around a holiday. I feel like you're aggressively rooting for him. I am. I have a guess. You don't you're aggressively rooting for him. I am. I have a guess.

You don't. A man in pants that daring. Why is, again, just the back is laughing. I think the front is just too close to those pants. Too mesmerized by them. He's wearing shorts and my pants are real plain. That was lost on me. I didn't know if you were making fun of me or him.

You thought I was making fun of you? Well, he's wearing shorts, not pants. Well, they're long shorts. So that's why you just call them pants? I think Ars Marker calls them spants. I'm going to make

some of your pants for a drink. Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie that he calls spectacular and spectacularly stupid.

He also said that it won an Oscar for special effects. And there are 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17 names, let's say, listed by Leonard Maltin. How many names are reading from the bottom up from this list? We'll take you, Matt, to guess the name of this movie. Please don't help if you know it. Negative one. He goes negative one. Yes yes he's not fucking around did you hear me do this one on the show give him the light for a sec did you hear me do this one on the show I've heard the show I'm not positive it's

this one okay it might just be from the it might just be obvious. You might have a good idea of what it is. So he says negative one names, David. I'm about to pass a kidney stone in front of many others. I'll say negative two. Negative two?! Are you kidding me? I don't like this one bit. Okay, Matt. I don't think I can get the order on all three, so name it.

Okay, he says, and I don't know what he's going to do with this, but what do you think the movie is, David? Independence Day. That's correct. Yeah! I think they didn't get it when I did it on the show before, but I can't remember. You need to name the top two people from

the top person, top billed person, to second billed person person that's what happens when you go into negative names so who's first build will smith and then who's second bill i love it the man's name is bill pullman that is fucking sweet! I want Alex Trebek's job when he leaves. I just want to laugh at them and say, fuck yeah, shit, instead of being

an emotionless robot. That's fun when the host gets a call. Why do they say something to me so soon? Yeah, yeah. No, that was a category on the show a bunch of times, Paxton Pullman, because people get them mixed up. I know exactly which one is which at all times. I have never once been, is that?

No, I know which one it is. Because the one that's screaming a lot is Paxton. And the one with all the wives, the Mormon, is Paxton. That's Paxton. And Pullman is while you. That's Paxton. And Pullman is While You Were Sleeping and Independence Day and that great movie with Ben Stiller's Zero Effect that he's great in.

I think the Pullman one is a lot of calculated breathing Harrison Ford style. That's kind of my favorite one. All right. I've changed my mind about Bill Pullman. Thanks to you. There you go, you get the prizes, Matt. Congratulations. Thank you for playing that. Thank you.

And thank you as well for David Huntsberger coming up here. David Huntsberger coming up here. Losing in the best way possible. That's like my favorite way for that shit to end. Okay, there you have it. From the corrections department, Matt was wearing shorts, not pants. I'll be in Dallas doing Doug Loves Movies and Stand Up on July 22nd,

Fort Worth doing Stand Up July 23rd, and more Stand Up in Portland, Oregon on July 25th. All of my tour dates are at DougLovesMovies.com. Thanks for listening to this boner ep, and as always, David Huntsberger's Bill Pullman impression

is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of Gold is viewing Hansberger's Bill Pullman impression is a shithead.