Doug Loves Movies - David Huntsberger Vs. The World

Episode Date: May 19, 2012

David Huntsberger plays the Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, IN.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and you know the rest. Here's a Leonard Walton game from the road that I thought you might enjoy listening to. So enjoy listening to it. Hey, everybody. Do you hunger for games? Nice.

We've got David Hunsberger here on stage with me at the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana. It's Saturday, May 19th, 2 Oceans 12. And what kind of name tags do we have in the audience? Did you guys bring name tags? Let's have a look at them. Oh, that one's making noises. It's like a Frankenstein Pez dispenser that makes noise, and then you just put a tag that says Matt on the side of it?

Okay, very clever. Oh, you got to pick somebody already? Look at that. That's the Professor Blastoff clever. Oh, you got to pick somebody already? Look at that. That's amazing. It's the Professor Blastoff logo. Oh, why do you like Professor Blastoff so much? Do you listen to that podcast? I've never heard of it.

I was asking David. Oh, sorry. That's okay. David, share your microphone with him so we can talk to him. And your name is John? Hold that up so everybody can see it. Yeah, John. And it says Blastronaut. Yeah, John. And it says Blastronaut.

Yeah, Blastronaut. Blastronaut John. And it's framed, and it's got a robot that's saying, good one. Is that a reference from Professor Blastoff? That's Tig's thing. She's the good one robot. Okay. And she's on Professor Blastoff.

Oh, okay. It actually has Fair enough. It actually has his Twitter logo as well from his album as well. And of course, John loves movies.

John loves movies. You put a lot into one sign and it worked. You got chosen. Nicely done. Let's see what else I wanted to say.

Okay, so if you lose, John, we are going to, this is going to be the first time in these shows, the live shows, out on the road where I'm going to let you pick a shithead so that you'll at least get that satisfaction if David beats you mercilessly. And also, I've got to say what's up for grabs today. We got some, uh, we don't have a prize bag, we just have a stack of prizes,

but it includes my first CD, Doug Benson Professional. Oh! At least that wasn't the, uh, vodka. Uh, this is a, uh, you know, you can put stuff in this. And, uh, it's a used jar!

That's the longest book. And it's green for some reason. And it's from our good friends at... It's a used jar! It's from our good friends at Silver Surfer Vaporizers. So yeah, put whatever you want in there. And then we also have my CD, Doug Benson's Perpetual Humoridian,

and a sticker for Doug Benson Potty Mouth, and two of David Huntsberger's CDs, Hello Robot and Humanitis. Right? I surprised myself when I pronounced it right, because I want to say Humanitas. Yeah, that's your normal pronunciation. Like the prize, the humanitus prize.

But with David's jokes on there. All right. So we'll have you write down a shithead if you lose, John. But good luck. You might not lose. You get to pick a category. We've got lots of great categories loaded up. And your choices are between Gone Baby Gone. that's a movie where a baby dies.

Or Five Word Review, that's a review where Leonard Maltin only said five words in his entire review. Or In Theaters Ciao! in its entire review. Or, in theaters, ciao! And that's, instead of in theaters now, it's movies that are, that take place in Italy. In theaters, ciao. So would you like a baby dies in theaters, ciao, or five word

review? Gone, baby, gone. Gone, baby, gone. Here we go. This movie, where a baby dies gone. Gone, baby, gone. Here we go. This movie, Where a Baby Dies, is from... It's not the only thing that happens. Other stuff happens,

like the baby crawls around a lot, and three criminals try to catch it, and one of them is Joe Pantoliano. I've said too much. It's not Baby's Day. Now, this is a movie from 1996, and this is just between John and David, so if you know the answer, you guys,

please don't yell it out. Three stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 1996. He calls it fascinating, and he also says that it was adopted by a living guy from another, I think from another living guy's novel. I don't know why I said living guy about the first guy. But, yeah, so it's adapted from a novel.

That's a better way to say it. And Leonard names six performers, six actors and actresses that are in this movie. How many do you think it will take you to discern the answer, John? I'll start with six. Smart opening bid. Five. Great counter bid.

Here's where it gets tricky. And I'll tell you right now, the baby is not one of the six. I think. I'll do four. There we go. Nice. That applause was...

That was like, if you look up smattering in the dictionary, it's seven or eight of you sitting around doing that. Here's your four names. Kelly MacDonald, Robert Carlyle, Kevin McKidd, doing that. Here's your four names. Kelly McDonald, Robert Carlyle, Kevin McKidd, and Johnny Lee Miller. Transplug? That's correct! Johnny!

Knocking it down! Right out of the gate. Oh, and I forgot to mention the most important part. I have to ask you are you available tomorrow to be a guest on Douglas Movies I already have my tickets

he's already got his tickets great well done sucker you paid to get in you didn't even have to because you won today and yeah so if you can be back here tomorrow

at you know 420 ish probably about 430 is when we'll start and yeah and you can join us up here on stage it'll be me and David here tomorrow at, you know, 420-ish. Probably about 430 is when we'll start. And you can join us up here on stage. It'll be me and David and another guest that everybody will find out about tomorrow. So here's your prizes,

John. And we don't even need to know who you were going to call a shithead. Because you knocked it down. I'm really disappointed in David, because I was hoping this would go a few rounds. Do you smoke weed, John? I don't. You don't? Okay, so you can put something else in there. I'm really disappointed in David because I was hoping this would go a few rounds. Do you smoke weed, John? I don't.

You don't? Okay, so you can put something else in there. Thank you. Let's hear it for John, everybody. And one more time for David Huntsberger! Who's the shithead? David Huntsberger's the shithead? I get to name the shithead when no one else does. That's a good system.

How do I turn this off? That took less than seven minutes. Okay, since that Leonard Moulton game went so quickly, nice try, Huntsberger. Here's a conversation we had with a cab driver when we landed in Atlanta last Thursday night. I do live in Hollywood, it's true. Yeah, I can see. What's your name, sir? Uh, B Bakokita.

Yeah, make one up. I hesitated, man. Is it hesitated, man? Yeah, what is it? How do you pronounce it again? Hakabina. Hakabina? Uh-huh. Wow.

It's a big name? Yeah. Okay. I knew before you never ever hear this name. I don't think I've ever heard Hakabina before Me my first Hakabina Oh, okay, Hakabina Yeah, this is a...

Lacanimo names It's a... It means... White or... You know sea? Yeah, ocean Oh, ocean, thank you. That's what Hagabina means. That's what Hagabina means?

And where is that name from? From Jewish. Jewish? Which type of Jewish? Are you Jew? No. Jerusalem? You look like it.

My friend is from Morocco. Oh, he's a Jew. He's a Jew too? Yeah. You think Morocco has a Jew? Sure, yeah. The Fertile Crescent over there? The Jerusalem, Israel?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jerusalem, yeah. Okay. Oh. So, this is nice. But I'm not Jewish. You're not Jewish. It's just a Jewish name. That's just where the name comes from.

Yeah, I don't know where, from where they brought this name. What do your friends call you? Haka? Yeah. Haka. Sometimes Haki. Haki? Yeah. Sometimes Haki. Haki?

Yeah. Where is that? Little jump in the cab. Step on it, Haki! Yeah! Get a little Haki. Why? He's flying.

I'm not going to give. I'm not going to let him back. Bullshit. He's following me. So, how long are you you gonna stay in downtown? Couple days. For how long? Two, three days?

Till Saturday. What's going on? Just hanging out, having fun. Oh. Love this town. Really? Yeah. So, where you gonna go?

Is that weird to hear from a white guy? Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go? That's a special day and night. We're gonna go see a band that we like tonight. Uh huh. Is that weird to hear from a white guy? Where do you want to go? Where do you want to go? That's a special day and night. We're going to go see a band that we like tonight. Uh-huh. They're playing at the, you know that place, the basement in the graveyard?

Oh, yeah. We're going to go there and see them tonight. Oh, okay. We're going to go see some comedy tomorrow night over at the Laughing Skull. Who is coming? It's a gentleman. You may not have heard of him, but he's very funny. His name's Graham Elwood.

Oh. Yeah. Funny dude. Is that in Foxcatcher? Where is it going? What's going on? Where's the comedy? Yeah, no.

Where's the place? It's called Laughing Skull Lounge. It's in the back of the Vortex. Oh, Vortex. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I got you. Yeah, Vortex is where you go for a good hamburger, right? Mm-hmm. Eating at the chill. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's fantastic. Yeah. So it should be a fun time. Yeah, I got you. What is it? So you don't have a meter? Do you know how much it costs already? Oh, yeah, we know it. Well, we know.

How much is it? It's gonna be... Keep me in suspense, why don't you? No, no, no. It's gonna be $4.60 for you two guys. Oh, for us, the two of us, it's gonna be $60? Yeah. So it's just like a flat rate? Yeah, so yeah, flat rate. It doesn't include the tip.

And you, uh, cash is cool? Yeah, it's't include the tip. And you, uh, cash is cool? Yeah, it's cash cop. Okay. I'm a cash cop. Oh, well, why don't you start asking us questions? Haka Bina means ocean. Okay, we're up on you so far. Listen, I'm going to have to use my shout-out, my street shout-out.

Okay. Go next to this cab, rolling down the window, shout out. Shout out. Shout out to... What do you do for fun around here? I do a lot of things. Hockey does a lot of things. Yeah.

It does a lot of things, really. Drive a cab with no meter. Nah. That's one thing. It's got a meter. Another thing is, you know, hookah up with, you know, you know, there's a lot of things, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, do you go to the movies?

Do you like movies? It's not once a month. Yeah? Yeah. What was the last one? Do you do movies too? I love movies. You love movies or you don't do?

I go to them all the time. I see lots of them. I thought you were a movie maker, a filmmaker. No, not really. Okay. No. You never tried? I try a little bit. You know, you can't live in Hollywood and not try to make a movie.

Oh, okay. You need to be a star, right? To get there and make a movie? Yeah, I need to be more of a star. More or you need to have enough money to do that. Yeah. Or what? That? What? To make a movie or...

Yeah, yeah, it takes a lot of money. Or you just have to do it on your own, you know, like Hollywood Shuffle. That guy made that movie with credit cards. Oh, Hollywood Shuffle? Yeah, remember Hollywood Shuffle, Robert guy made that movie with credit cards. Oh, Hollywood Shuffle? Yeah, remember Hollywood Shuffle, Robert Townsend? Do you know? I don't remember. Winky Dinky Dog? Dinky Ducky?

Oh my goodness. So what was the last movie you saw? Can you remember? I do remember. Hunger Games? I don remember. Hunger Games? I don't like that. No? No, no. Did you see The Avengers? Are you going to see that?

Yeah, I see that. That's fun, right? Yeah. Maybe that's you. Hulk go smash? No, it's not me. I'm no Avenger. You're not?

I met one of them once. Which one? you meet? He was pretty nice. Captain America. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's a good guy. I don't think I've met any of the other Avengers. No, I have not.

So, how's California doing right now? It's, uh, temperature's pretty similar to this. Uh-huh. Maybe a little less sticky. Uh-huh. And no earthquakes lately, so we're happy about that. Yeah, that's been nice. Okay.

Has been okay. Yeah, it's been all right. And how do people react with Obama's message or, you know, I'm saying? What? Obama? How do people react with Obama's message? Oh, when he said that he's into gay marriage? I think everybody likes that for the most part out in California.

I mean, it's tricky everywhere. Everywhere you go it's about 50-50. Where do you stand on it? Are you for or against gay marriage? Who? You don't care what they do, do you? No, I'm a liberal. You're liberal. I'm a neutral.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or that means, or I'm a moderate. Liberal equals neutral. Yeah. Now you're saying you're a moderate? A moderate, yeah. Moderate. You know what I mean, right?

You just don't give it? You don't care either way? You know I don't care whether they support or not now. Yeah. I want to be myself. What difference does it make to us what they do? That's it. Yeah. Go ahead and get married.

What? Those gay people. They can get married. We don't care. We don't care. They can do what they got to do, you know what I'm saying? Because they're right. Obama said as a right he support. Yeah, they're already having, you know, guys already having sex with another guy, you know, might as well be married.

Doesn't make a difference. Some get some tax benefits, come adopt children legally. Give them a break. Is there a Braves game? What's the stadium called? Braves. Braves. It's the Braves, right? Braves plays, right?

It's a live game, huh? Yeah. That's legal. What's the name? I'm going to go and say I saw a Braves game. Turner Field? Yeah, it's Turner Field. Ted Turner?

Yeah. Did you ever give Ted Turner a ride? You know, you know, you know Turner? We know of him, yeah. Who is he? He's, you know, Ted Turner is the TNT, TBS. He's a founder. CNN, yeah. Who is he? He's, you know, Ted Turner's, the TNT, TBS. He's a founder. CNN, yeah.

CNN founder. Yeah. Ted Turner, he's a billionaire. He's the first American to give a charity $2 billion. Yeah. Do you know that? He's got a lot of money, that dude. No, no, do you know that?

He's, he's, he's, Bill Gates didn't give that. Bill Gates? that he's easy not the big he didn't give that he's gates but over over the course of the billing Melinda Gates Foundation they've probably given a lot more money than Ted Turner no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no there there was one time there was a union what they call it something but at that time he's the one give them one Nice, do you know that at that time the Ted? Ted Turner has a for girlfriend

He does a tiny four yards over still an item. He left Jane Fonda and Oh really, yeah over there I'm going to show you where he lived. He lived here. Oh, really? Yeah, over there. Back over that way. But no, he just... Is he still living in Atlanta? Yes, he lives down there. Oh, he still lives down there? Yeah.

Yeah, he's all about Atlanta, Ted Turner. Because this property, all about... It was him. Yeah, so he sold it they took over they gave him some money who did that you know that who did it the Jew people took over those smart people smart people they bought this always smart people they bought it yeah they bought it they did they from him? Yeah, it's always smart people. They bought it, yeah. They bought it. They give him some small money, and they give him paper to sign it.

After that, they say, hey, get the hell out of here. When does the cash cab, when do you start asking those questions? Yeah, I want to get that. When does the trivia start? Now we are, I'm interview, right? Right now, I'm starting to take a, asking question about it. Is it time for the red light challenge? Man, he could be.

I like that. So is this the first time when you come to Atlanta? Oh no, I've been here a bunch of times. Bunch of times, but a long time ago. Yeah, at least two. A long time ago. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it Yeah, at least two. But a long time ago. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, it's been like five years. You can figure it out. I know. It's very intuitive. So, I have a plan not to go to California. To not go or to go? Oh, no, no, I haven't, no. I want to go. Oh, good.

I want to see those people. Yeah, check it out. Get a look at them. People wait their turn across the street there. They don't just amble across like that guy just did. Is that one of your other businesses? What? Say it again.

He does lots of things. Oh, yeah. He's got a bunch of stuff going on Oh yeah, yeah, let me know Well it's good to meet you man I guess, thank you Because we're almost there, right? Oh no We're going to make a right, then make a left, then make a right, then the left too

Oh okay Got every kind of turn in there Just don't make a U, then make a left, then make a right, then the left too. Oh, okay. Yeah. Got every kind of turn in there. Yeah. Just don't make a U-turn, or I'll get suspicious. Are you a migrant or citizen, a U.S. citizen? You live here. Oh, yeah, we're U.S. citizens.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, this is immigration. Born and raised. Oh, I see what you're saying. We don't want to look for it when we drive by immigration. I'm just kidding. What's that?

Is that another stadium over there? That's Falklands Play. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. And the convention center, too. Yeah. Convention center. And down the side is Falklands Play and the Hulls Play.

What we call it. And, please stop. Oh, there's CNN right there. CNN has this headquarters here. Yeah. Yeah, so you're going to enjoy this today. I heard James Earl Jones has a penthouse suite... Right here.

...in there, in CNN building, yeah. What? Actually, he could just run down and go, this is CNN, and he runs back up. He stayed by now. There's a pool on the roof. Yeah. This parking lot all was...

Teddy Turner was the owner of this area. This is the back 10 years ago. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I understood most of it. Hope you enjoyed this mini boner episode. And as always, the people at NBC who fired Dan Harmon off of his show community

is a shithead