Doug Loves Movies - David Huntsberger Vs. Toledo

Episode Date: August 5, 2012

David Huntsberger plays the Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at two shows at the Funny Bone in Toledo, OH....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from a hotel room for a mini boner episode featuring David Huntsberger vs versus Toledo, Ohio. That's right, David and I played at the Funny Bone in Perrysburg, Ohio on August 4th and August 5th, each day at 4.20, and we played the Leonard Maltin game at the end of the show

because there was plenty of name tags in both crowds, and I made a shitty little recording of both shows that I will be sharing with you right after these plugs. I'll be at the Waiting Room Lounge in Omaha with Death Squad Boner's owner Brendan Walsh on Thursday, August 9th, and I'm taping a Douglas Movies that's a benefit for Caleb Medley on Sunday, August 12th at 420 at Denver's Comedy Works. Looking forward to both of those shows and seeing you guys, and seeing your name tags,

and I hope you enjoy these two installments of the LMG. And as always, people who don't listen to many episodes are a shithead. Does anyone hunger for games?

I'm on this side of the crowd and this side of the picture. One side's more into it than the other, for sure, Dad. But, you know, that way it walks, it's getting standard also. Your whole career or just today?

Every time we're set on stage. Except we sit at Doug Love's movies. No, but every time you perform, the left side likes you better. You're more of a left-brain comedian. You're a left-brain comedian. I'm right right here. You are? Probably not. I really didn't know what I was even saying.

So it was weird that you agree with it. So I was just sort of making it up. There used to be a guy named Jeff Marder. He'd put two mic stands on the stage and he'd go, okay, my act is divided into two kind of jokes. Like left brain kind of jokes that are like, and correct me if I'm wrong on this, but like kind of the straightforward, the instructional. Yeah, yeah. And then the other microphone I'm just gonna get the right side of the brain, where just crazy shit comes up to you and then you think of it and you say it. So I'll use this

microphone for left side of the brain, that microphone for right side of the brain, that might grow for right side of the brain. And then after each joke, he'd go like this. And then he'd tell the next one, and every time he'd go, is this left brain or right brain? And does that make it funnier, or is that distracting from the jokes? And he did it for like his whole act, I think. It was crazy. I need to get the thought of it. I won't see you again. It was crazy. I need you to stop it. I won't see you again.

Yeah. Anyway, we'll cut that story out if I play this part on the podcast. But David, go ahead and pick. Did anybody break name tags? We got some name tags here. We got Boyd Runner. Looks like Boyd Runner. I like that.

What's that supposed to be, Will? What is that? Green Lantern. It's Green Lantern. Oh, it's a Green Lantern. And your name is Will? My husband's name. Husband's name. You're playing on his behalf?

He bought me tickets for my birthday. He bought you tickets for your birthday, and you brought her instead of him? Nice. I can't tell. That probably wasn't the plan. Oh, wow, you picked somebody already. I think it's the paintings. Oh, David loves paintings, because he's a light-playing kind of guy.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I think it's the paintings that I write. Oh, David loves paintings, because you know, he's a left-wing kind of guy. I'm gonna sing some crazy music. Actually, I will afford to pay for that music, so please don't play it. It's a good instinct, though. It might be instinct. Hay League of their own. Oh! You can't really read Hay League of their own. You're over there, Hay League. You guys are to share a microphone there during this portion of the show.

So what part of the area, we're in Perrysburg officially right now, right? Yeah, I'm from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Grand Rapids, okay. I played there over at Dr. Grimm's, but I wasn't there lately, so that's why you came over here? Yeah. Wow, that's amazing. Three and a half hours. Suck on that, Palomas. Not you, Palomas the Explorer. You were referred to as Blaine Krapitz. No.

When I was there, Palomas made it sound like that's what everyone called it. So I'm glad to see that everyone's as bitter as... That's the first time I've heard it. That's the first time she's heard it. What is it again? Blaine Krapitz? That's the first time she's heard it. What is it again? Bland crap-its. I've never heard that. I don't live there, but I'm still... I've been there, talked about it. I stand before you telling the truth. I heard it, and I was just curious if other people said it, and they don't. And I've taken a self-development journey, and I apologize.

I feel like they're still holding it against me for the Cedar Point show. And again, sorry, but he wanted a Cedar Point show. And so that's what he did. Now, listeners are going to be completely confused about the whole Cedar Point show thing. Because that's a callback to the part they won't hear. But I do want to say that I have heard that people call this area to be known I think everyone even thought of saying Holy Toledo until you just brought up. It's like from the 20s or something, isn't it? What world do I live in?

Sometimes I'm quite surprised to hear someone tweet in, Holy Toledo! Still fun to say after all these years. I'm like, alright, I think I've heard that at some point in my life. They never mentioned it. Yeah, they never mentioned it. And now they have it. No, they're just like... They have it already now, they're like that. I think it is an expression, but it's an expression that old people would know.

It's like 23 Sedu. We don't have a 23 Sedu law! That's what I'm saying. But it's also not funny. It's old and not funny. Well, I'm bringing it back. Holy tootie-doodle. The Batman series really ran the holy whatever into the crown with holy everything, everything they could say. So people kind of say that on morning radio, people will say, you know.

Holy Huntsberger, that's a left brain joke. Okay, let's play the Leonard Maltz game with our new friend. It's Hayley. Where's that name tag? Hayley. Hayley. It's Hayley. Hayley. Okay, Hayley. And it says Hayley gives her own. So of course remember there's no

crying in Leonard Vaughn. I just had to say that. If I didn't say David, would I? Nope, I'm going to say Holy Toledo. I'm going to fall down these stairs. Okay. Would you pick a category, please, from the following options? What if Batman was fighting Bane old school style?

Pow! Bang! Well, I'm gonna hit you with my hand! So you're Batman, and I'm going to start! That's how it would work. That's how it would play out, exactly. You're like, what if, but I don't know what this is. But it worked. That's how it would play out, exactly. You were like, what if, and then that was it. But you had like the penguin guy going around, and I feel like Batman Bob was very like,

so like, oh, I'm a boy! You know why that's a good Bane impression? Because I can't understand what you're saying. I do the more articulate Bane. Because I don't want to be like... Okay, you get to pick a category. Hayley. Not Kaylee.

Hayley. And you get to choose between the following. Would you like... Fuck police. Let's just say fucked up police. Fuck police sounds like... Some people come in and go, Freeze, we're like fuck police? Let's just say fucked up police. Fuck police sounds like some people come in and go, freeze, we're gonna fuck you. We're fuck police.

I've screwed this one all up. It's called fuck sting. And it's movies that feature policemen. Movies with policemen in them. Or I'm so Thor, that's movies that feature policemen. Movies with policemen in them. Or, I'm So Thor. That's movies where someone has a lisp. I'm So Thor. And finally, Entertainment Weekly did a list of the 50 most underrated movies of the last two decades. So this movie's from that list. Which one

of those do you like? Let's go Police. Police? Yeah. Okay, this movie has Police in it. It's from 1984. If you know the answer in the audience, don't yell it out. Two and a half stars from Leonard Walton on the Leonard Walton Review app. He calls the movie generally good natured. This movie from 84 that has claps in it. But he also says that it was followed by too many sequels. And he lists 11 names. How many names did he get in Haley? Zero names.

Zero names, she says. Zero names. What's David going to do with that after a round of polite golf applause? That was a 6 p.m. round of applause if I've ever heard one. No, it's going to be very soon. Negative one names. There you go. I'm going to say name it, and he's going to name it.

If I didn't go negative one, I should have said negative one, but I can't go negative two, so. Oh, no. I know. Amen. Police Academy. Sorry. Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. I'm going to say things to distract you, and I'm only gonna give you three seconds to come up with it. His name or her name is Rebecca or Samantha, Chris, Chris... Tolls? Tolls? That's the name of who?

Chris what? Chris Toll. Chris Toll? Yeah, that's the name. No it isn't. It's Steve Guttenberg. Yes! Congratulations,

Hayley Wynn! Thank you so much for playing. Thank you for promoting the painting. Do you need your painting back? Give her her painting back. And Dana Huntsberger, everybody. For being an amazing Chris Toll guest. Is Chris Toll even a person?

He just made up a name! Oh, I was so excited! I agreed with Haley. I thought, oh, this is gonna be easy. He's just gonna say Steve Guttenberg. Chris! Oh, I love it! Does anyone hunger for games? Yay!

It's August 5th, due August 12th. Right? Yeah. Yeah, okay. People were snickering like I was wrong. It's Grandma's birthday today, actually. Hey, yeah. So congratulations to that guy who's not here. But he's on a lot of episodes of my show and is very good at this game. And we need to see some name tags in the audience to determine who's going to get to play.

We've got a guy with some Mike in it, and he's covering up the word Ike. So, I guess his name is Mike. And then we've got Scott Connor vs. The World, instead of Scott Pilgrim. Then of course from yesterday, I loved your name tag yesterday, it's the movie Life, because his name is Eddie Martin. And Life stars Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence. That's pretty cool. Look at this big one over here, David. It's Joe White. Is your name Joe White?

Just Joe. Just Joe, okay. Joe White, but you are kind of white, white-ish. That's it. Off-white. Off-white. Joe Off-White and the Huntsman. And it's like a whole poster, and then he cut out a hole for his head. That's a pretty good one.

Yeah, but he's not the Huntsman, and he has a space where the Huntsman's supposed to be. So he's Joe White and the Huntsman, who is also him. Oh, he's a split personality. By day, he's Joe White, and at night, he's the fucking Huntsman. And he tears shit up. It's a good energy-hugging and hide situation. Which one did you pick? Boyd Ryan. He just comes up sometimes. He gets on before the show like,

No, Donald, get him up here. No, no, that's when there's you and several other guests. They sit down. I'm one seat up here. When it's just us, it's fine to take our time with it. I wanted to point out there's an Audrey Hepburn breakfast at Lauren's. It's the voice of Tiffany. Yeah, welcome back, Void Runner.

I love to run. What? He doesn't love to run. It's an ironic... ironic running. Doug wasn't Blade Runner. Yeah, yeah, don't turn your head around when you talk right into the microphone when it's your turn to speak. Because I... okay, I wanna... oh, nice.

He put his lips right on it. He just kissed a thousand comedians. I... I... I would regret this decision. Boyd, come on. Alright, you get to pick a category, Boyd. kiss a thousand comedians, I would regret this decision. Boyd. Alright. Alright, you get to pick a category, Boyd, between three options, and as always, if you think you know the answer in the audience, please don't yell out.

Your name throughout your whole life has been Boyd? That's my last name. Oh, I was gonna say, that's a rough one for a first name. Why? Is that why your first name is Boyd? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Is that the first name, Boyd? Yeah? Yeah. I think Boyd is more popular.

And Doid. Doid! Not Doids. I want to do some field research if I know of a psycho after your life named Boyd. Yeah, let's find out. It's his last name, so we missed that opportunity.

Oh, okay. I'm as sad as everyone else. I'm sorry, Seth. Alright, Boyd. That's what I... If I knew him, and I kind of do now, I'd be like, what's up, Boyd? Yeah, Boyd!

That's fun. Exactly. That's fun. That's fun to do. That would be a fun first date. Why don't you go with Boyd in the Hood? It fits me so well, too. It does. It's really appropriate for him.

Okay. Would you like to play... which category would you like to play, Boyd? Would you like Snapes on a Plane? And that's movies where Alan Rickman flies in some sort of way or fashion, like when he dies at the end of Die Hard, spoiler alert, he flies to the ground. Or In Theaters now, that's motion pictures that are in theaters now, or at FYI, you rock suggested hunger names, and that's movies that have some sort of food in the title. Hunger names.

So which one of those do you want to play, Boyd? Hunger names. Boyd. Absolutely. Alright. You get a choice. This is exciting. You get a choice. This is exciting. You get to choose between a movie that has food in the title from 1971 or 1984. Both on the old tip. So which one would you like to go with? Let's go with 84.

84, he says. This movie got one and a half stars from Leonard Maltin on the Leonard Maltin iPhone app. He calls this movie laughable. He says it's 93 minutes long. And he also says it's pretty tacky. Tacky. And it has food in the title. And he lists six performers that appeared in this movie from 1984. How many names do you think you can get in? Five names. Five names, David. I'll say four. It's a bold.

Wow. I wasn't talking about how bold that is. I mean, you talking about how bold it is. I wasn't talking about how bold that bit was. I mean, you fucking out-bolded it. Right there and then. Oh, and from the corrections department, I should say that, uh, because on the podcast I said top girl rights could probably never fall backwards.

And it does. And there's YouTube footage of it happening. Yeah, there's proof. We cannot substantiate how obese all the people in it are, but we're hoping it's just a second person. Have you ever been on that ride, Boyd? No, I haven't. You should try it, because it might go backwards.

I don't know if it has to do with silly, but I guess it has to do with weight. Because Ryan wouldn't go all the way over the top. Can you lay off Boyd about it? You can just be next to him while he's up here on stage? You raise his hand when you're talking about how sometimes it doesn't go all the way over. But he wasn't saying, I'm a large human. He's taller than you in the way he looks. I wouldn't call him obese, necessarily, but I would call him taller than both of us.

So that's gotta be a few more pounds. Yeah, that's true. But you're on our team whether you like it or not, and we're trying to get our control back. That's the important thing. That's the important thing. Are you the first-round draft pick in that selection? Not necessarily. But yeah, you... that are. That's the point. we can find far heavier dudes Easily. To try to do that with.

In fact, David, you're off the team. I mean, fucking will you, David? You are not that well to make the top drill dragster not go all the way over the top. You beat me on that dragster! I keep it with Paul as he gets up to the top! You bet he's going to flip out. That's a great band name, Flip Out Paddy.

This band is screaming every song. Just losing their minds. Did you see that? Okay, good. I thought I showed them the answer. All right, so David did four. Where does that, where does that do you, Kool-Aid? They, they know.

All right, David. You want the names? I'm going to give you the names. You know how this works. I'm going to list four names. Reading from the bottom going up out of, what was it, six total, right? And then you're going to have to try to guess. Do you want the clues again?

No, I'm good. Wow. I really don't have them. What do you think the clues were if you had to guess? Tacky, one and a half stars, and laughable? Mm-hmm. Yeah. 93 minutes.

93 minutes, yeah. Short, sweet. Thank you. How'd you break your arm? Oh. Oh. Oh, I know. I know that book. 93 minutes, yeah. Short scene. How'd you break your arm? Oh, I know that book. Some people are too good at jerking off. What's that? Oh, your right hair bit? So what was the other hand doing?

Oh, you had a jam for your door. Wow, I was fascinated. Alright, we'll talk later. We've got a show to finish up here. Alright, four names, David. And if you get this, then we'll get another competitor. Okay. Robbie Kiger?

K-I-G-E-R? Courtney Gaines? John Franklin? And R.G. Armstrong? Are your four names. The last two names will probably be more helpful. That's me. But what do you think? There's got to be food in the title.

Meatballs. That's a great guess. A great wrong guess. Is it porkies? No. Is that food? I guess it is. Porkies. The last two names were Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton. Yeah, and it was a

horror thriller that we all know and love that's had six sequels called Children of the Corn. Children of the Corn. Boy, you're our winner! Boy, you're our winner! Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And each other comes out with a card that is easily two stars. It's hell of a lot. What's the kid's name that's an old man and he looks like a kid? Isaac. Isaac.

Just that little two stars. That gives you two out. Yeah, just like I'm a weird-ass old kid. It's like he'll be two stars. That boy's got a weird-ass old kid in him. Here's a once-for-everybody. Thank you. David Kruger, everybody.

You tried to take on all covers and then lost in the first round. The first competitor beat you, David. Yeah, I hope you go stand out in the lobby with your CDs and try to sell them. Good luck after that performance. How many CDs do you think the silver medalists win? Alright, we'll just sell them. CDs you think a silver medalist win. Alright. I'll make another Olympics reference before turning off the recording. Good job, everybody. Good job, Toledo.

Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!