Doug Loves Movies - DC Pierson, Cameron Esposito, and Grant Lyon Guest

Episode Date: August 3, 2014

From Comedy On State in Madison, WI, Doug welcomes comedians DC Pierson, Cameron Esposito, and Grant Lyon to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Woo! Welcome to the backwards episode Where we start with the ending theme Can we try one more time to play the opening theme song? But that's one of my favorite things that's ever happened. We'll talk about it more in a second, but if you guys can play the opening theme, then we'll proceed normally from there.

I also thought it was cute how they put the chairs like in a semi-circle like we're going to pray or something because people write to me people watch Getting Doug with High and they're like why don't you put the chairs in a semi-circle so you guys are all looking at each other and it's like well because we're trying to do it for an audience

that's sitting right in front of us and then people watching at home. You don't want to watch us looking at each other. You know, we got to face the music and look at the crowd. So you guys want to let me know what's up with that theme song? I think now they're not playing it because they don't want to interrupt my great story. Go. They don't want to interrupt my great story.

Go. Baby rappers, baby babies, Stinky, stinky, Stinky, stinky, Stinky, stinky, There's still not one that he won't speak because God loves movies. Boobies! Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, Just feel the love for me Don't be afraid of the movies

They got the volume right just at the end there. For the last syllable of movies. It was really kind of nice sound in the house. You know, you throw a show at 420-ish in the afternoon, things like that happen. What am I going to do? I usually do my part right.

I like to think that I do. I make mistakes. You'll hear from the corrections department today. Hey everybody, to think that I do. I make mistakes. You'll hear from the corrections department today. Hey, everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. All right,

that was kind of singing. Coming to you once again from Comedy on State Comedy Club above a bank in, uh, or we're under a bank in downtown

Madison, Wisconsin! Wisconsin! They always give me a lot of waters here like they think I'm Robin Williams or something. I do not break a sweat doing what I'm doing. I'm just enjoying my cocktail. Here we go, guys. It's Sunday, August 3rd, 2014.

Wolf of Wall Street fight tournament. Two judgment day of the dead men walking tall. The president's man in Blackfisher, King Ralph a Dog Day, Afternoon Delight, Sleep Perfect, Murder by Death Wish 3 and me, Ghost That's not it

That's not the end of it I just slowed down because I always that's a hard one for me to remember, Ghost Worlds End of Watchmen I just slowed down because I always said so hard for me to remember. Ghost worlds and of Watchmen. Don't leave being lost Vegas food law jingle all the way in this world.

At 420. Let me see your name tags, you guys. Nick of Doug I've seen before, right? What do you mean you don't know? You've been here before. Is this your first time? You just made it? Oh, okay. I just look familiar.

Settle down, you guys. Your font is too small for me. It's the big signs that I like. Settle down, you guys. Your font is too small for me. It's the big signs that I like. Or the strange monkey puppet in the front. It's a monkey puppet just with your name on a little sign around its neck. What's it say? Olivia.

Olivia? Okay, good one. And what's this dog thing right here? Trusted since 1908. It's a picture of a dog? And what's your name? Paul. Paul? You wrote Paul on the bone above the dog. Has that dog been in a movie? I'm going to have to ask you to step to the back. What's that one that's lit up over there? I'm lit up myself, but what's...

Strange Brew? Oh, that's cool. there. I'm lit up myself, but what's... Huh? Strange brew? Oh, that's cool. Bob and Doug McKenzie. Okay, that might get picked, because it's easy to spot over there. Another person's just holding up a candle. These candles in this low ceiling and being in the dark like

this, it looks like I'm on the first part of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. With all the fireflies and shit. I got announcements and corrections and stuff, but thank you for bringing those name tags. Excellent work. Chicagoland, tomorrow night. So tonight, probably, if you're hearing this,

tomorrow, which will be Monday, I'll be at Zaney's in Rosemont, O'Hare adjacent. I had a great time at the Traverse City Film Festival in Traverse City, Michigan, this last weekend. On Friday night, we did a Benson movie interruption of Roadhouse, and Michael Moore and Larry Charles, you know who Larry Charles is, the guy who directed Borat, and Jeff Tate, regular on the show.

The four of us interrupted Roadhouse, and it was so much, it was ridiculous. So much fun. We should just take that on tour, the four of us interrupting that movie. But there's an auction that the Travis City Film Festival is having to make a cool walk of fame sidewalk in front of the theater downtown where a lot of the movies are shown. If you go to TCFF.org slash auction, you can be on Doug Lowe's movies. It ends August 6th, and right now it's up to $1,250. And if you live here in Madison and you won, the next time I came to Madison you'd be up here as a guest

so if you live in a city that I could come to and bring cool guests then we'll do it there but otherwise you'd have to come to LA and you know the flight and hotel that's on you that's on you.

That's like at the end of the snooze ad when I had to say, causes mouth cancer. I like went into a Ron Funches giggle after saying that. Yeah, so it ends August 6th, so jump on that if it's your lifelong goal to be a guest on Douglas Movies and you don't want to have to take the time and trouble to become sort of famous. Sort of famous is how I describe my typical guest.

Let's talk about Owner Tuchel, you guys, for a second. talk about Owner Tuchel, you guys, for a second. If you haven't listened to the Traverse City episode yet, I highly recommend it. If listening to me be irritated, it brings you joy.

He's like Pete Holmes and T.J. Miller without any of the comedy. But in Owner's defense, he's a good dude and we became friends. I only met him in the green room

before the taping. Like at film festivals, sometimes I just have to take a chance on him. Let's see if this guy is interesting. And I took a chance on that kid Jesse

and he turned out to be fantastic. Yeah. So he'll be back for sure. Jeff Tate will be back. And I don't know about Owner. You guys got to let me know on Twitter if I should give him another chance.

Mark Wahlberg will be back for sure because, you know, he can get through any lock. He's got skills. But yeah, so I had a good time with Owner for the rest of the festival. And he feels bad about it. It was a combination of nerves and alcohol. The next morning, I was had a good time with the owner for the rest of the festival, and he feels bad about it. It was a combination of nerves and alcohol. The next morning, I was on a panel with him where he was polite and funny when it was his turn to speak.

And yeah, it was amazing. You guys, you do not believe me. It was such an amazing transformation. From the corrections department, the James Franco movie where a dude takes a shit in the woods is called Child of God, not Son of God. I assume there is little to no shitting in Son of God.

I haven't seen it. Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh, I'm coming next week to the Improv Stand-Up on Saturday, Douglas Movie Sunday, both at 420. The prize bag is a beautiful tote from the Traverse City Film Festival.

It's their 10th anniversary, their 10th one, so it says 10 on the side. When people come up to you and go, why does your bag say 10 on it? You could just say, because I'm perfect. Whatever. When people come up to you and go, why does your bag say 10 on it? You could just say, because I'm perfect. Whatever you said, sir, was a great contribution.

They give you a bag full, this bag full of stuff when you go to a festival. It's a very nice thing that they do, but it always cracks me up that I'm doing okay financially, and then they give me a bunch of free shit, and so I like to pay it forward. Like this framed picture of a building. I don't know what building it is. I have no idea what that is. I just know that I could make the light shine in your eyes,

and that's always fun to do to people, especially when they're driving by on a highway. So there's that thing that they gave me that's nice, but, you know, there's a sticker that says Traverse City on it. There's a beautiful, and I stuffed a hotel towel inside

of it, because that's my way of keeping it from breaking. Would that work? Let's throw it down and see what happens. No, in my bag, and I wrapped a T-shirt around it. You guys don't need to know the secrets. But it's a beautiful little glass. It says, 10 years of just great movies,

the Traverse City Film Festival, which, by the way, I'm going to go to every year. And if you're thinking about going to a film festival, there's no more beautiful spot or festival than I've ever been to. It's really a delight. They gave me this lotion that I don't want. So I'm a man, and I'm just going to age properly.

And then... So this is kind of cool. This is like some balsamic... Be sure to listen to my food show, Dining with Doug and Karen. Balsamic vinegar. Mango flavor from Frustini's. I'm glad that didn't break in my bag.

Shit smells like mangoes for several weeks. Might not be bad copy of Gateway Doug 2, forced fun also when I was in thanks, when I was in Montreal they gave me Dennis Miller and Morgan Murphy's CDs, so you guys can have those, I got a sticker that says

I heart you but the heart is big clump of weed I don't know where I got that from. Oh, there's two of them. Find a friend. There's a comic book called Tales of the World, Famous Drive-Thru Bud, featuring

Humboldt Honey. She looks awesome. And then a book that I'll tell you a little bit more about in a second. A lot of fun stuff in the prize bag. A couple more items. These three people are here in Madison. That's what I look for in a guest.

No, they... No, I arranged for them to be in Madison and put all the pieces together. And I'm very excited to say, who's coming to the 8 o'clock stand-up show here tonight? A few of you. Thank you for double-dipping on that. And if you're on the fence about it, I say go get a slice over at Ian's after this is over. And then come back and see these three people and myself all plying our stand-up comedy trade. Please give a big

warm welcome to Grant Lyon, Cameron Esposito, and DC Pearson! first time guests often apologize to her and her show put your hands together Cameron Esposito you guys Apologize to her and her show. Put your hands together. Cameron Esposito, you guys.

This is kind of a big coup, because I get to finally speak for myself and just say, go fuck yourself, Doug. You're so polite when I come off stage. I know. It's been bottled up, and you flew all this way to yell at me. But it's not too bad, though, right? How far we go over? Oh, no, it also is great,

because you made T-shirts with the name of my show on it. I did. And you... Did you get any money from it? Yeah, no, you're right. I mean, you stole the title, but that being said, great promotion through Doug Benson's website. If you ever want free Doug Benson promotion,

just have a show right after him. Yeah, yeah, I'll apologize and then give you a mention. Yeah. Another first time... Oh, first, let me quickly say that Cameron brought something that I recognize. What's this for the prize bag?

Yeah, that's a notebook on it that says comedy. We got it at the Just for Laughs festival. I found out Doug also put his in the prize bag that was up there. I love it because it's the perfect thing to give a stand-up comic who doesn't want something

that totally gives away their job on a plane, so you have to talk to fucking everybody. Oh, me? I'm a plumber. I also love that it's blank. What you reading? Nothing. That'd be a fun burn to play

on somebody. You sit next to somebody that's Chatty Cathy, just whip out a book, and it's this book. So only the owner of this can do that gag. Especially if you're laughing really hard. You're just losing it. Oh! That big sigh that people have

after a really hardy laugh. Oh. Woo. What are you reading? Nothing. I like that everybody laughed the second time. I didn't change it at all. It's like when it's funny in the trailer and you

still laugh when you see it in the movie speaking of movies there's a gentleman on this panel who as I understand it not only enjoys movies but it has listened to this podcast maybe more than a couple of times indeed I know just you know rare to say about a panelist I'm a fan well. You and Jon Favreau are the only ones. And Edgar Wright. You're the only ones that listen and then come on. Another first time guest you guys. Give it up for Grant Lyon everybody.

Stand up comedian. Do people ever try to French up your Lyon and go Lyon? They do indeed. It happens sometimes. The one that people always do the most is add an S to it, though. Lions. Yep. My dad line is just like, nope, there's only one of me.

Learn that from my dad. Get to throw that out there. If I were you, I'd say, what do I look like to you, Scar and Simba? Where's my book? You can just hold that up like a applause sign. Whatever joke just doesn't go over. Yeah, see? Perfect.

I'm going to put that away. That's dangerous. That's dangerous for a comedian to have. And what did you contribute to the bag, Mr. Lyons? I contributed... Uh-oh. I contributed some organic jelly I got at the farmer's market here in Madison. Yeah.

It'd be funny if when I held it up to the light you could see a bug in there, because it kind of looks like Jurassic Park. Have you been to that Farmer's Market, Doug? Jurassic Park Jam. No, I haven't. We were here over the weekend, and people are so into it.

Like, when we touch down, people are like, oh, you've got to go to the market. You've got to get to that market. Like, every stranger on the street is like, oh, you're visiting? Market. Get to the market.

Definitely Saturday market. And then we went there, and you know what it is? It's a farmer's market. It's pretty standard. I feel like you guys haven't been other places. A lot. Did you guys...

But why did you never ask to follow up when they say you gotta go and say, well, why? What's so special about it? Well, people were just like, it's fucking huge! There's fresh produce! It's kind of a normal size. Yeah. There's tons of corn. Lots of popcorn.

Lots of popcorn stands. So many popcorn stands. Yeah, when I come to a town and everybody's like, you gotta do this, you gotta do this, like they keep saying that, that's the last thing I'm gonna do. I'm gonna, just to spite them, I'm going to sit in my hotel room and watch Snowpiercer again.

You just go to Target, buy all your produce there. That's the biggest fuck you could ever do to a farmer's market. I hate to break this to you, Cameron, because I look like a pretty healthy individual, but I never buy produce.

And flying in, especially, these guys were performing here this weekend, but this gentleman I coaxed into flying in just for this specifically. Please give a big warm welcome to D.C. Pearson, everybody. Hello. Hello. I will try to be half as funny as a notebook that says comedy on it that the people of Madison literally cannot get enough of.

Again, maybe they haven't left this city. So what's this crap that you brought for the bag? Why, Doug, that's my young adult novel, Crap Kingdom, that has recently come out in paperback and is available wherever fine books are sold.

I messed up by having words on the pages so you can't do like a fun goof on anyone. But I'll know for next time. I don't know. This is still pretty good if you're like laughing too hard

and they say, what are you reading? And you show it to them. Or what if the blank comedy book is in the Crap Kingdom book? Like porn you're hiding in high school? Yeah. What? Nothing. People don't do that anymore, right? No one does that anymore,

right? No one's hiding. There's no nudie mags anymore, right? People aren't hiding. There's no nudie mags anymore, right? People aren't hiding. They still sell porn at the airport. That's true. That's true. They also want to make... Porn in the form of like a $9.95,

like two-hour Wi-Fi subscription or whatever it is. Yes. That's right. Is porn blocked on the plane? I've never... I don't think I've ever tried it. Someone here knows for certain. I guess not.

There was a weak clap back there. If Rick Scott were here, he'd know. People have to still be arting their porn because people are still ashamed that they watch porn, which is silly. We should just move on from that. I meant to say Scott Walker. There he goes. You said Rick

Scott? Yeah. Who's that? I think he's another politician. I think he's in Florida or something. I'm a straight shooter. I have two first names. Rick Scott. I like that guy. Looking at the wrong side of the paper. DC is the star, I should mention,

of one of the biggest movies of the summer, Captain America. Star. The Winter Soldier. Star. That's my movie that when I'm on a plane, instead of watching another movie that's probably new to me,

I just take comfort in just watching that thing over and over again. And so I've seen your scene a few times, and it's good. Thanks, man. Happy with how it turned out. Good job you did there. Yeah, DC steals that scene.

He absolutely does. Who has seen that? Have you seen DC in that scene? Oh, you mean he's funnier than Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans? What I'm saying is he's funnier than a computer. No offense to either of those past or hopefully future guests. Chris Evans has been on the show a couple times, and he kind of came off a little owner-tickle-y.

That's going to be an expression for when somebody does that. Oh, shit, he owner-tickle-y. That's going to be an expression for when somebody does that. Oh shit, he owner-tickle. But yeah, so have you, do you have any funny stories as a result of being in that scene in the movie? Did you go see it and tap the person in front of you on the shoulder after

it's over and said, what'd you think? Good movie, right? Super creepy. I'm wearing my costume from the movie. Or you just, after the scene, you just go, there I was! And then leave. Peace!

Roll the credits! And then I just jet pack out of the theater. It's downhill from here, y'all. You can stay for this downhill bullshit. I'm out. Winter soldier, I'm the summer soldier. I take my shirt off, put on sunglasses, and die. Just die right there in the seat.

That's what you do when you can't think of an end to your riff. You just die. Fictionally. Makes sense. Yep. Grant, have you been with your busy stand-up comedy schedule? I guess you probably see a matinee or two. I do see occasionally. Actually, I haven't

gone to see a movie in a little bit. The last movie I saw in the theaters was Edge of Tomorrow, which I loved. I loved that movie a lot. So good. I also love how I feel like this wasn't a thing when we were kids. Action movies weren't funny. Nowadays, action movies are funny all the time.

I feel like Captain America is funny. Action movies. Die Hard, I feel like, is funny. Jaws is pretty funny. Star Wars is funny. Sarah Connor's haircut in the original Terminator is funny. Terminator 2 is funny. It's a pretty solid theory there, Grant. Now we just list all of the things that were...

No, I have ample proof that you are incorrect. But this is my personal... And Grant Lyon is lying about how funny action movies were. Vote for Rick Scott. I feel like the reason... I feel like the reason... Let's play douchebag build a title.

Rick Scott. Rick Scott Walker, Texas Ranger. I didn't have to pull out the book, listeners. I feel like the reason that movie works so well is because Tom Cruise is supposed to be a dick in it. And we all know that he's a dick now. Like, that's been revealed.

So when he plays, like, a cool guy, we're like, I don't think so. Not buying it. And Emily Blunt is, like, my new Sigourney Weaver. Yeah, she's amazing. She's making it happen for me in a serious way. Oh, you hold that, girl. Hold it.

Oh, you hold that. I'm talking about her yoga pose. And also my breasts. I want her to hold my breasts. I haven't seen it. She does yoga in the film? No, at my house. I'm talking about when...

Oh, gotcha. When we have sex, she's married. I'm talking about when we have sex. The first time he sees her, she's on the ground holding herself up just by her pinkies or whatever. Gotcha. Okay. I haven't seen the movie and I was looking forward to it and then you said that she does yoga

in it and I was like, I'm good for video. No, it's like the toughest yoga. Trust me. I know that seems like it doesn't make any sense, but no, she's super cool, but yeah, it's definitely pinkies. It's definitely pinky balancing. It's like Cirque du Soleil yoga. Yeah.

Ooh. Yeah. So expensive. Yes, it's expensive to get into. Yeah, it's French. And French. But yeah, that movie, it still didn't get its due because I think it had kind of a Tom Cruise anchor around its neck.

I think people, especially since it kind of looked like it could be it could have been called oblivion too sort of a very similar setting and uh also you know just kind of also just marketing wise might look too much like elysium which was disappointing to people totally and it also uh you know looks like groundhog day yeah i had i had actually it just kind of makes me want to watch Groundhog Day again. I had no desire to see it, actually, like from the previews or anything, but so many of my friends were like, I'm telling you, go to watch it. Just suck it up.

It's really well done, for the most part. Now that it's been out for a while, I'll finally say this. Maybe I've already said it, but I think when it gets just kind of more of a clearly stated weird mission they have to do at the end like blow up the death star or whatever it is uh once it gets to that point it's just kind of routine action for the rest of the movie and nothing yeah because nothing amazing happens

no there's no restarting the day like ground yeah once that stops well we're saying too much i guess so people wait forever to see things now but absolutely i mean i think i think i'm waiting for the super cut of just emily blunt with an airplane propeller, helicopter, whatever. I'll watch that until the day I die. Make that for me, please. Emily Blunt yoga montage? Yeah. Or do you guys not see this movie?

Or do you not care about Emily Blunt? Are you Nazis? Did she just call you Nazis? Or do you not know that I'm a lesbian? What if this is not working? Did you not see this movie? Did you not see this movie? Did you murder this movie in cold blood? That airplane porn guy is like uncomfortable again.

He's like, they have my number on a number of levels. I'm a guy that watches porn on an airplane and I'm a Nazi hiding in Wisconsin. And I love podcasts. It's the one time I come out of hiding. There's a live podcast. My name tag is for apt pupil. It says, let's just hear Ian McKellen out, you know?

I really want somebody to stand up right now and in a German accent go, what dad I was! And then they leave. That's a DC Pearson callback. It's going to be very funny on the podcast. People at home are going to like it. Yeah, people at home are going to love it.

Dear Comedy on State, may I have another Tito's vodka and soda? And that's not three things. There's a vodka named Tito. And I don't want one specific guy's vodka. I want vodka that's there's a vodka named Tito. And I don't want one specific guy's vodka.

I want vodka that's called Tito's vodka. What about you, Cameron? Have you been to the movies lately? The last thing I saw was Snowpiercer, which you brought up earlier. That was pretty cool, right?

Good movie. I thought it was... Pretty unique. I feel like it could have cut off for me a lot. I didn't care about the ending at all, but Jesus, right? Good movie. I thought it was... Well, it really... Pretty unique. I feel like it could have cut off for me a lot. I didn't care about the ending at all, but Jesus, Tilda Swinton.

Jesus, Tilda Swinton. Yeah, she really... She's quite the actress, I've decided. Like, she really will do... You know, seems like fearless and not afraid to be... Like, she's kind of

a female Nicolas Cage, I think. I think if she's triangulated, it's like her, David Bowie, Nicolas Cage form a perfect triangle of power. And none of us can defeat that if they ever join forces. It's weird that David Bowie never gave, like, a really hammy performance. Like, whenever he was in something,

he played pretty low-key characters all the time. I feel like you don't remember... The Goblin King? Yeah. What, in Labyrinth? I feel like you don't remember his pants in Labyrinth. Did he yell at people in that? Or was he more like a suave Jeremy Irons kind of bad guy?

He danced the magic dance. He danced the magic dance. He danced the magic dance? Yeah. Yeah. Take off your pants. The mayor of Madison just said, he danced the magic dance, Doug. You can find your own way to the city limits.

You can find your own way to the city limits. His performance in that is 90% codpiece, honestly. But I couldn't look away. I guess I gotta revisit that one. Give me another example. The man who came to Earth, he's catatonic and the hunger and when he played Tesla, he didn't yell at anyone.

In The Prestige. Alright, so moving on. Snowpiercer. Check it out. See if you like the whole thing or not. But certainly worth seeing. For sure. DC, what have

you been up to? I did see Snowpiercer. I very much enjoyed it and then also on iTunes I rented Under the Skin this week and really liked it

how did that work out for you I liked it a lot who'd you watch that with my girlfriend oh that guy's so bummed that guy kinda knows

which way I was going with that no like you're about to hit play and your buddy runs into the room and throws himself He kind of knows which way I was going with that. No! Like you're about to hit play, and your buddy runs into the room and throws himself in front of the... What we're missing here is that he said it in like an old-fashioned Robin Williams way.

He went, no. No. No. Oh, no. Oh. Listen, pilgrim. Ooh, Mindy. I think I read that situation in an opposite way,

because for me, that was just him being brokenhearted over the fact that you mentioned a girlfriend. But he was like, no! No! That guy's the star of Captain America! But sir, why did you say that, genuinely? It's fucking creepy as shit. Oh, the movie's creepy as shit?

Says the guy, no joke, wearing a glow-in-the-dark Lucha Libre mask. Don't watch an art movie with your girlfriend. It's too creepy, says glow-in-the-dark Lucha Libre basement comedy club man. There's nothing better than the word creepy spoken through vinyl. Creepy. The guy that looks like a picture the art department of True Detective would have rejected.

Ah, too scary. We can't have that on our nice family show. I really liked it. Liked Under the Skin. Yeah, I guess I gotta see it. I'm kind of with that guy. Just sort of like, sounds like Scarlett Johansson

really puts it out there. Yeah, she does. She does. Nobody saw Lucy? Haven't seen it yet. It's interesting that those are both out at the same time, and they both seem like she's sort of otherworldly.

For sure. It's just kind of like, I'm finally caught up to the idea that Scarlett Johansson is just above all humans. She's just, she's perfection. Yeah. Right? Well, under the skin, it's interesting. And she's a good

actress, which is really weird. I also think it's funny that, like, when a woman gets that hot, we're just like, she's either gonna eat us, or we're gonna put something in her. We don't know what else to do. Like, we can't function or process how attractive she is. We're just like, we got to make her a murderer of us or we got to put some shit in her belly. Yeah, she looks pretty good.

She's probably going to lead us into a dark building in Ireland and subsume us in some kind of black goo? That's the sheriff putting an APB out on her, right? That's like some southern sheriff. We have a Scarlett Johansson type individual. She's probably a alien being that's in cahoots with some kind of motorcycle xenomorph. They're gonna ride around Ireland or Scotland or wherever. A lot of long, long shots makes you think about alienation. And that is the plot of the movie

Prometheus, actually. It's a funny coincidence that this conversation is even happening because I had previously written down that I wanted to do a round of love like, hate hate hate like and the subject being

Scarlett Johansson yeah it's really we open up this can of worms let's get into it so we're going to take turns you got to say a movie of hers that you love and then a movie of you and then we'll go around next round movie that you

like you know just like it it's okay movie of you, and then we'll go around next round, movie that you like, you know, just like it, it's okay. A movie of hers that you hate and then a movie of yours that you hate yourself for liking. And that's why it's called Love Like Hate Hate Like. And you can pass once

because some people don't want to hate. Or some people people don't want to hate or some people just don't want to like. But everybody needs to love. So let's start with love and Graham. What's a Scarlett Johansson

movie that you love? I love The Avengers. There you go. Who's going to argue with you about that one? I am. That's going to be with you about that one? I am. That's going to be my hate. Okay, now you're jumping ahead.

And I can't wait to find out why that's your hate. I didn't give it my love because I don't think it's a Scarlett Johansson movie so much. I mean, she's definitely in there. I don't know. She's got a pretty sweet introduction. She jumps up out of a chair and kicks a bunch't know. She's got a pretty sweet introduction. She, like, jumps up out of a chair and kicks a bunch of guys. She's got a lot of business, but when are they just, you know,

I guess now with Lucy and Underskin are probably both doing well, so they'll probably give her character her own movie. But she should just have her own movie. Yeah, they better. She's cool. Doug and I decided they're going to make another Marvel movie, guys. Don't worry. Don't you fret nobody saw Guardians of the Galaxy?

I saw it can't wait it's another movie that when I tweeted this the other day when it's on airplanes I'm just gonna watch it over and over again I just like so tickled that it exists and that it's so...

There's some belly laughs in there that are really quirky moments, quirky humor. It's not all on the nose. I loved it. Did you guys stick around for the scene after the credits? What? I'm not saying

why did you stay, but like, that's... You know how they introduced Jason Statham at the end of the last Fast and Furious? Hang on a second. You don't know that Jason Statham... It's me, mate. I'm the new guardian, mate. I'm not going to give anything away. Relax.

Maybe I will. My favorite thing is I miss the middle, like, three or four Fast and the Furious movies, and then when I saw Fast Five and, like, Fast Six, you would stick around afterward, and they would be like, this guy's back, and it would be some character I've never heard of before, and the entire theater would go, whoa!

And I could just be so smug in my indifference. It was great. I loved it. That's Movie Memories with DC Pearson. It's my podcast, Inside Ducks podcast, where I tell stories that don't go anywhere and I interrupt the flow of the show.

Back to you, Cameron. They introduced... Wait, that's not... It's my turn. They introduced... They introduced Jason Statham in the last one that he's going to be in the next one. And when we mentioned that

on the podcast, people flipped out. So I'm not going to make that mistake again. But my point is that I don't think it's giving away too much to say that there is

a sort of introduction in the last scene of Guardians of the Galaxy and it has me concerned. That's all I'm going to say about it. We're going to be talking about this movie for a while because there's a lot to talk about and I hope to get...

Chris Pratt was on Douglas' movies once and I want to get him back but he doesn't answer my calls because I don't have the specific number. It's really hard to get him on the phone because I'm just dialing numbers.

I mean, I gotta narrow it down to I think I know what area code he's in. He's just outside in Hollywood. Pratt! Pratt, Pratt, Pratt. That's his Twitter name. Pratt, Pratt, Pratt. Pratt That's his Twitter name Pratt, Pratt, Pratt That's really messed up, Chris

If you're listening, pick up the phone Which Scarlett Johansson movie do you love, Cameron? Oh, Lost in Translation Yay, that's mine too And you know, when I first saw it I didn't like it Because I saw it I think I was too young And then I re-saw it because I saw it, I think I was too young.

And then I like re-saw it last year or something like that. And I was just like, oh, I was, I am the idiot. So my point is we can grow and change. And that not only is Scarlett Johansson amazing in that, and God, she gives a great performance because she's so young. But also that's like the last great Bill Murray, like before he's just coming to your wedding, Bill Murray. Like we've lost him. He's gone. We've lost him. He's going to food trucks. It's over. He's actually

tending bar here. As a goof. Yeah, he was at the farmer's market. He's got a new one coming out. The title's impossible for me to remember because it doesn't seem to connect to anything. What's it called? St. Vincent. It connects to something. There's a performer lady band called saint vincent so it's very confusing but saint vincent looks like kind of a rushmore kind of thing with uh bill murray

and a kid so maybe the magic will be recaptured which would be hard to do though because rushmore is amazing movie um but yeah i agree with you about loss of translation but i loved it the very first time i saw it even though it's you know Lost in Translation But I loved it The very first time I saw it Even though it's super slowly paced It turns out that's a Sofia Coppola thing Except for the bling ring Which is very fast paced Because the entire time you feel like you're in the elevator

At a W Hotel I love that reference so much The music's always thumping It's my point, you guys. And stay in a Hampton. Which Scarlet movie do you love, DC? Oh, man, Doug. Captain America, The Winter Soldier.

Of course. I feel like she gives a really... What was I thinking? Just... He's gonna say just to be able to to be in a scene with I know him as DC Pearson and to be able to hold your own I thought was really

really amazing and to resist the overwhelming urge to not even do anything sexual with him but just like get coffee and tell him what he's always known which is that the two of you would just be great friends is really great and to just make it about the work with him, but just get coffee and tell him what he's always known, which is that the two of you would just be great friends. It's really great. And to just make it about the work. And she did. Who was nicer? Captain America or the Russian

lady? They were both super nice. Equally? Yeah. Wow. I know. Because I don't know her, but I know him and he's really nice. Yeah, they were both nice. It was that thing that you would always want to happen where you'd be like, I bet if I met Scarlett Johansson, she'd be like super cool and we would like laugh around and stuff.

And we did. Was everything you dreamed of? That was the limit. I have very realistic expectations. I was going to say, certainly not all your dreams. That's why you watched Under the Skin with your girlfriend the whole time. You're like, I made her laugh.

She and I are buds. Loss of Translation was mine, of course. Now let's go back to you, Grant, for a ScarJo movie that you like. I liked Don John. That's reasonable. That's a good slot for that, I think. It's not perfect. It felt like a long short to me.

No. This guy watches all of these things alone and doesn't even want them discussed publicly. That's Lucho Libre Man's private shame. You're gonna give me a boner. Stop talking about her. Or just at least talk about what you hate about her. There's never any positive yelling out.

It's just like this visceral, like, no! But Don John is definitely worth seeing for Tony Danza alone. That guy kills it in that movie. When he first sees Scarlett Johansson, that sums up Scarlett Johansson in one moment. Because he does not hold back.

He makes a sound. If leering was a sound. If you could make a leering noise. He's like, If you could make a leering noise. A cat call with his eyes. Ugh.

Which one do you like, Cameron? I only like Captain America the Winter Soldier. There was not enough DC Pearson in it? I just thought he was lacking DC Pearson. No, I'm just kind of done with superhero movies. I'm really ready for the next... Oh, you gotta see Guardians. I am. I'm really excited to see it.

I'm really excited to see Guardians. Because it's definitely different and also open to a really big universe that includes a character that I'm curious about. Yeah, no, I'm excited about that and I'm excited about things that will be a little bit different. I actually really did like the movie,

but I left being just like, I don't remember anything about that besides DC. You're hoping for more grounded characters, more like, who are the other people in the world?

The guy that works the Apple store that bugs them when they're trying to run away from the bad guys. What's his deal? Yeah, what kind of powers does he have? Would he like, yeah.

Does he have an iPhone that when he throws it at somebody, it might come back to him? Yeah. In that they'll go, hey, that was fucked up, but I realize this is an expensive phone, so I'm giving it back to you.

I just also felt it was weird that Chris Evans was wearing such a tight shirt all the time and your beautiful body was so covered up. That was one of my least favorite parts of the movie. Well, all those guys at the Genius Bar should be wearing tighter shirts. Don't you think? I want a more DC Pearson bod.

Take out that nudity clause is my point. Yeah, they felt that the audience would be too aroused. That's what I was saying. And they felt it would hurt the after movies aftermarket. No! Because from behind,

you are my type. She likes long hair and a mannish butt. Yeah. She likes a butt that can be best described as like a Costco brand butt. She likes a Kirkland signature butt

in some old Navy pants. And I appreciate that. What's the movie that you like from your best friend Scarlett Johansson? I like Ghost World. Me too.

I put it between love and like Ghost World. I enjoy that movie quite a bit. I think her and what's her name, Thora Birch, who kind of has World. I enjoy that movie quite a bit. I think her and, what's her name, Thora Birch, who kind of has disappeared, I think they've made a good team. I went with the man who wasn't there, the Coen Brothers movie, Black and White.

She's not in it that much, but she is in there. And Billy Bob Thornton, who he just proved with Fargo, I think, is like, if he wasn't such a nut bar, he'd be like our finest actor. I mean, he is. I mean, he's a great actor. bar, he'd be our finest actor. I mean, he is. I mean, he's a great actor. I thought he was great on that show.

What do you hate from Scarlett Johansson, Grant, Diane? I feel guilty saying it, but I hate it. He's just not that into you. Why do you feel guilty about it? I feel guilty about it because it's a great stand-up comedian that wrote that book and stuff. Yeah, Craig Brown wrote that book, but he knows that the resulting movie was a giant pile. Yes, it really was. It's not going to be a shock to him.

Plus, he doesn't listen to this show. It's just going to be on there. And also, the checks are probably clearing. I imagine Warner Brothers is still a chip shape. We've added a third brother. Cameron, do you hate anything that's going on?

Yeah, no, I hated the movie The Avengers. I did not like that movie. Oh, right, that's right. You already told us that. Why did you hate it and one person agrees with you? It's the fucking guy. Oh, right. That's right. You already told us that. Why did you hate it and one person agrees with you? It's the fucking guy.

Oh, it's... Dr. No agrees with you. Don't shoot me at my son. I thought it was a vortex of negativity over here. I was hoping it was Loki that was clapping. Unfair.

Give me equal time. You know what? He was great. He was the best part of that movie. And I just, I thought for me, that movie is where I hit my superhero movie limit because like nothing happened except it was like a dick measuring contest

between powerful men. But they were just, I was so sick of what a boring. Right, and the guy with the arrow had the smallest one for sure. Yeah, he had a bitsy one that he carried in a quiver on his back. But I just thought, like, I don't... So you want me to believe that the world is ending

and these guys are just like, I'm in well, I'll be... Like, just fucking do something. Yeah, that would never happen in the real world. The world would never be falling around us while powerful men were like, hey, did you do that or not? You did, didn't you? Fuck you, like, hey, did you do that or not?

You did, didn't you? Fuck you, man. No, fuck you. Maybe the problem is like my deep and utter distaste for men. That might do it. Because also, like, I loved that when they, and I loved how much better a job they did with Scarlett Johansson's character in your movie

because in that movie they even... In my movie that I conceived. In the movie you wrote. Because in The Avengers, all these aliens are coming down and they just give her two tiny pistols that look like they have one shot in them each. And she's just like,

okay, I'll do the splits for a while. You guys get to work. Pretty amazing, I just realized, that Marvel hired a guy named DC. Has that one happened yet, that joke? Yeah, a couple people online. Okay. Stan Lee. Stan Lee.

Stan Lee was like, hey, true believer, go fuck yourself. And then he, like, hey, true believer, go fuck yourself. And then he, like, mopped away because he was pretending to be a janitor or some shit. So, DC, if you have a movie that you hate, I know you're best friends with her, so you don't want to be too cruel. You could whisper it.

I honestly, honest to God, cannot think of a movie that she's in if I looked at her entire filmography I probably could I can't, I will pass and take this space to say that I would like them to make a Hawkeye movie based on Matt Fraction's Hawkeye comic books, our tremendous funny, cool, noir

awesome comic books that everyone should read, just, guys we gotta support Marvel, they're dying, you know they're not making any money. But yeah, I cannot think of one, but, you know. Well, it's my turn. You got it. No, pass.

Oh, pass. I looked at the fucking list, and I went, there's not a movie on here that I hate of everything she's been in, but, you know, there's some that are kind of boring, and I haven't seen Under the Skin yet. But I couldn't find one that I hated, so I pass.

Is there one that you hate yourself for liking, Grant? Yes. The Island, because it's like... Sir, sir, sir, we have a match. It's like the most bullshit.

It's my favorite Michael Bay movie. But it's like, it's this awesome premise that he's just like, let's not explore this premise at all. Let's just blow shit up. Like, that's, it'll be great. That's not our Michael Bay. There's still enough cool stuff in it, including like for men and women alike, I imagine, those tight white outfits that they're wearing are awesome. And then also, though, just for the sheer acting bravado of it, when, you know, again, spoiler for this movie that's 10 years old or whatever,

15 years old, but Ewan McGregor, when his robot himmn meets real hymn and they have the different accents and he's acting with himself, he is quite good. Yes. He's really good. And he also has glasses

to differentiate the two of them. Yeah, that helps. Which one's good and which one's bad? Yeah, yeah. It's like when Face Off came out, I thought that Travolta did a good Nicolas Cage, but then Nicolas Cage couldn't fucking do Travolta. Just did Nicolas Cage again.

But it's fun to see a fun acting challenge like that and for somebody like him to pull it off. He also did in Down by Law, he pretended to be a different guy. He was two guys. I've never seen that. Oh, I like it. He pretends to be Jude Law in that one, right?

Yes. What do you got, Cameron? Hate yourself for liking it. Yeah, the movie Her. I'm upset that I liked that movie because I disagree with the gender politics that are happening in there. I don't like that there's a dude

who wants to have a lady at his beck and call that lives in his little phone. But I also was really excited to see it. What if they made a sequel called Him? And it was about if Jesus had a friend in his phone. But see, I think you can make that movie. But since they're already, I mean, women are already in the position that, listen. I don't have time to explain

gender politics to you motherfuckers. The movie does prove that even computer women are bitches. No, all she wants is just her own life and to take care of herself. For God's sake, go make your own schedule and your own

sandwich. Jesus. Make your own sandwich, lady in the computer. Put a little extra mayo on it if you want. But I also really love technology movies. I really love sci-fi movies. And I was so excited to see it because of the... I was like, oh, this is going to be so awesome. And then I loved the pants.

You just want to live in a world where all of them are high-waisted pants. That's a world for me. We wanted some dream pants. I should have said that one for love, because boy, that was a good movie. And I feel like even though it was very highly rated, it was not rated highly enough. And I do think that, I mean, the gender politics thing, I feel like to a certain degree, I feel like it's being critical of the things that you're describing, that you're thinking

it's saying thumbs up about. Also, Amy Adams then starts dating a male computer in that movie. Which I love that a dude's voice is just like, yup. Why did you have to say that in the fucking Adam Driver inside Llewyn Davis voice? Yup.

Outer space. Whenever you're agreeing with something. That scene is so weird. Yup. Like, they're making a novelty song that they think is going to be a big hit. And then it is, I think. In the story, it's a big hit?

I think at the end it's, like, trending to being... Because Llewyn didn't get part of that royalty. Exactly. But now the Yup guy totally undermined my point. So I cede it to you. I understand what you're saying about Amy Adams. I'm just saying that we do live in a world where some men want women that will just work for them

and take care of their shit. And I do think that if it's flipped the other way, it's just a different story. It's less what we're seeing seeing it's less of a actual doesn't work for him though she just hangs out with him and it was what is dr. no trying to say that I think he said a whole door he said oh door this what does that mean to get it's a character from Game of Thrones that can only say his own name.

No, I see why you'd yell that out right now. He said things besides Hodor. So his fucking verbal cosplay is bullshit. If he was really trying to verbally cosplay as Hodor, he would have only said Hodor. So, you know. You might have said Nodor. I feel like we should move on.

You're totally blowing it. And if you dress up as Groot, you better only say I am Groot for the entire evening. So maybe this Halloween don't put on that tree costume. The movie, the Scarlett Johansson movie that I

hate myself for liking is Eight-Legged Freaks. I saw it when it came out in the theater. I thought it was a pulpy, fun, good time. She wears like a sheriff outfit, right? I don't know. I think she's a teenage girl. Does she wear a sheriff's outfit?

Anybody know if she wears a sheriff's outfit? Anyone can answer except for one person. And also, we already know what his answer is. It's narrowed down to two different words. I thought that movie was a hoot. Well, all right. And I, of course, went with The Island because just recently it was on cable

and I was in. I just started watching and kept watching until it was done. I didn't watch it until it was done. I watched it until I was done. I didn't watch it until it was done. I watched it until I was done. No! I couldn't even get the comedy sign out fast enough. The comedy sign is like, It's like keys in a purse

It went right to the bottom Never to be seen again This was a really fun Chat portion of the show So I feel bad that we're a little behind But that means Right now I've got to say Let the games begin!

Take control, Madison, of your name tags. Bring them out of the shadows. Oh, house lights are up. There's so many more than I could see earlier. I really need glasses. You guys go ahead and select who you'd like to play for Just go pick the name tag that speaks to you And while you do that, we'll do this We'll be right back

And we're back Thank you guys for bringing so many amazing name tags Really appreciate it for bringing so many amazing name tags. Really appreciate it. And, you know, also appreciate that people don't seem to get mad when they don't get picked. They're just sort of like, yeah, I spent a couple minutes on this.

Speaking of which, Grant, who are you playing for? Looks like you put a lot of work into that. It's the I... I. Frankenstein? Frainerstein? What's your name? You changed it to Frainerstein because his last name is Frainer. Oh, Rainer? Your first name is Rainer?

My last name is Frainer. I Rainer Frainer. Do you hear about... Okay, so Grant's playing for Rainer. For Prince Rainier. I just loved it earlier because when you ask people to hold up your signs at the beginning of the show, they're sitting in the complete back row and they were holding up so hopefully, like maybe you could see all the way back there.

And I love the hope that was in their eyes. They'll suddenly have like an amazing vision. See back here. But you got picked. Good for you. Cameron. Who are you playing for, Cameron? I'm playing for Alex Ha

because I really love the movie Francis Ha. I love that movie too. Good movie. So good. And also he took the time to take a picture of himself, put it into there, then crumple it up and make it disgusting. And don't read what it says on the back, because that's

if you lose today, we'll say that person's a shithead. And then DC, who are you? This is by Mike, and he has superimposed you and himself into the poster for Mystery Team, which is a movie me and my comedy group, Comedy Maid. I was thrilled about it. They really tugged at your heartstrings with that one, huh?

How'd you figure out DC was going to be here, the person whose name tag that is? The internet. What, the internet? Oh, goddamn internet. Yeah, no, because of the stand-up show we're doing later tonight, they put his picture there because they wanted people to know he'd be in that show also.

Yeah, yeah, he's good with the internet. So, were you just playing, you were just like, I'm just playing the odds that he's super narcissistic. Well, it paid off, didn't it? Always believe the worst of people. People put my face on these things all the time,

and I'm like, I'm not picking it. Why would anybody be like, oh, look, it's Doug on there. I gotta have that one. All hail Doug. So we gotta do this quickly. We gotta play a quick round of how much did this shit make to determine who goes first

in the Leonard Maltin game. So in this game, we'll start with DC and then go to Grant and then Cameron. And the idea is, I don't know if I've ever played this one at UCB, Cameron, so you may not have heard of this before, but the idea is that

movies have an amount of money that they made in their total box office in North America. I go to boxofficemojo.com and find out in millions how much this movie made. You guys all have to guess

and Price is Right style, you have to guess the closest in millions without going over. And since we interrupted it the other night in Traverse City, the movie is Roadhouse. And so you just have to guess. Like I said, we'll start with DC first.

How much do you think that movie made? I am going to guess that Roadhouse made, I have literally no, it could have done anything. It could have made hundreds of millions of dollars or four dollars. If it helps you at all, let me just say that it's a great movie. Oh, I know. I don't know if that's a good clue or not.

I'm going to say that Roadhouse made $18 million in the U.S. Okay, let's go with $18 million. What do you think, Grant? I'm going to go $42 million. Yeah! Yeah. What do you think, Grant? I'm going to go 42. Yeah!

All right, Cameron. I've got some fans on my guests. You know, this might blow it, but I'm just actually using how much I think Patrick Swayze is worth. I'm going to say $100 million. $100 million? So you're a big fan of Swayze

that guy's the best dancer turned actor in the world yeah he really he committed to every role he obviously had to work out a lot

and he had to learn certain skills for each role how cool would it be if at the end of The Expendables 3 the end of Credit Stinger, he just pulls up in a Camaro

and he's like, I'm back. And he's not even playing a character. They're just like, whoa! And he's dressed like in Too Wong Fu Thanks for Everything Julie Newmark. Because that would be even better. That would be amazing.

And speaking of amazing, DC takes this one because Grant and Cameron were over because it only made $30 million. Yeah, it wasn't a very big hit. But boy, is it fun to watch. Fun to watch and make fun of. What's happening, DC?

Get in the water. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm sorry that I have this big luxurious table and you guys have to reach down to the ground every time you want a water. But, you know, that's how it works. That's how show business is. It's the biz.

So we're going to start with you, DC, and then we'll go to Which one of you feels more confident In your game abilities And understanding how it works I mean I'm terrified I know how it works but I'm scared as shit Alright

I know how the game works but my resting state Is terrified So we'll go to Grant after DC And first person Who's going person at two points wins. No pressure. Someone's just going to get a bag of crap. That's my way of making Cameron feel better. Thank you, John.

Doesn't matter if you win. Nobody wants this shit. They're just going to keep the book and throw the rest of it out. He means the comedy book. My book has two words on the cover, like some bullshit. Did the publisher reject bullshit kingdom?

I was like, but it's for young adults. You get to pick a category. DC versus Marvel. Would you like deep fried bacon? That's movies where Kevin Bacon smokes weed. Or specific rim. That is indeed about a very specific room a basketball room

it's films that have basketball in it or this is an even broader category wins in Scrabble and that's movies that start with the letter Q not in the dialogue not in the dialogue in the dialogue. Not in the dialogue. In the title.

I will go with specific written. Alright. This movie has basketball in it. Three stars from Leonard Maltin. The year of this particular movie

is 1986. He says about the film that the lead actor is terrific as usual. If Leonard wrote this review today, he'd say he was terrific as usual. He also says that this movie was written by Angelo Pizzio. P-I-Z-Z-O. And then Leonard Lists. Nine names.

How many names can you get it in, DC person? I will take a wild swing and say I can name it in negative one names. Grant, I'm sorry to do this to you right out of the gate, but I'm happy that it is you and not Cameron that's taking

the brunt of this insane assault. Do you think you can go negative two names on this one? I think you're coming out with some false bravado here. I'm going to say name that movie. All right, so DC has to name the film

and the top-billed actor. I will guess that... I won't say if it's right until you've said both. I will guess that the top-billed actor is Gene Hackman and that the film is Hoosiers. That's correct. I feel like... My bravado is true. I know.

You know, honestly, I thought it was Hoosiers, but I couldn't name a second actor in it. I was like, there's no... I think it's Korn. And then third is Larry Bird. And you mean the band Korn. They were all five. It's actually Barbara Hershey

but her nickname was Korn during the production because that's where people would meet her. Barbara Hershey's a slut, jokes. I don't know what she's like. It's 2014. Can we move past slut-shaming Barbara Hershey, please? As a society.

Did you see The Entity? No. Are you talking about her vagina? No, it's a horrifying movie from, I guess it was from the 80s where, what's her name? Barbara Hershey. There's this entity, like a ghost,

there's a scene where she gets raped by a ghost. And they made these breasts that could look like fingers were touching them when they weren't and stuff like that to simulate it. It's horrifying. That sounds like the second scariest rape scene in the world,

the first being in the movie Jack Frost. Please describe that scene. Go on. There's a snowman, and he comes into the place, and he has a carrot on his face, and then he sees a woman, and the carrot goes down to his snow penis, and he takes his carrot, and he...

This really happens? Yeah, I've seen this film. Wait, wasn't this like a PG-rated film? No, there's a horror movie with a similar living snowman premise. You're thinking of the Michael Keaton reincarnated dad one. You're thinking of Mr. Mom. I was like, wow, I know kids are doing this younger and younger,

but Jesus. Wait, you know that kids are becoming snowmen and raping people younger and younger? You guys didn't do that as children? You guys didn't do that as children? I think Wayne Fetterman's in Jack Frost. The one I was thinking of. Yeah, Barbara Hershey was second build, and then Dennis Hopper was third build. And he, of course, was, I believe, nominated for an Oscar

for that, I think. I believe, I think. Maybe. Who cares? Don't call the corrections department. They don't care. Because I'm just guessing. So what just happened there? DC got a point. And so now Cameron gets to start us off.

She gets to pick the next category and then we go to Grant this is a chance for the two of you to put a point on the board before DC wraps this thing up would you like Cameron and they're always glad you came

aka the Jeff Tate category because it's actors from the program Cheers in movies. So all those people. So it's not a very narrow category. Here's a narrower category. At Horace Inkling suggested on Twitter,

Batman versus Bateman. And it's movies that have Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck in them. I think there's like three of those. And then at the Haley Dexter suggested the slogan of the festival

I was just at, the Traverse City Film Festival, Just Great Movies. And that's movies with just in the title or great in the title. I choose that one. Okay. Would you and that's movies with just in the title or great in the title. I choose that one. Okay. Would you like,

there's only one year that you don't get to pick, three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1985 that he says about this movie that it's performed with gusto by a cast that's aiming to please. It's got just or great in the title, and he says that he also calls it a fast-paced sleeper. Yeah, Leonard's really digging this movie.

This is when Leonard was really into speedballs, right? And he names eight names. I don't think he says a single negative thing, and yet he gives it three stars. But he says eight names. How many names do you think you need to get this, Cameron? Okay. Esposito.

Um... Eight names. She's clearly been standing waiting for me to finish this stupid game every week at UCB, and it's sunk in. She knows what to do. Grant, what do you think? I'll go seven names. Name that movie.

DC says name that movie? Holy shit. Throwing it down hard, DC. Hot Pocket. We're going to have... I don't know why someone just said Hot Pocket. Go yell that at a Jim Gaffigan show. Or better yet, fucking don't. Or don't yell it at a Jim Gaffigan show Or better yet

Fucking don't Or don't yell it at all Never yell that Unless it's an offer In which case Sure If I was He's bidding Hot Pockets

Do I hear $12,000 Hot Pockets? Do I hear $12,000? Hot Pockets. Sold! Nothing beats that. Alright, so you get Grant gets 7 out of 8 names. Is that the right number? So you get everybody but the top-billed person. There's no way I'm going to be able to do this.

This is so embarrassing. Have you ever had anybody have all the names and still not get the title? Yeah, Pete Holmes and Devil Wears Prada. Pete, this movie was from two years ago and it had Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway and he's like, no idea.

But I guess that's probably not a movie that would appeal to him, but still. I mean, I could have done that one at Stanley Tucci and Adrian Grenier. Adrian Grenier! How did you not bring Stanley Tucci and Adrian Grenier. Adrian Grenier. You dropped a Grenier, Don. How did you miss an opportunity to talk about

Emily Blunt? She is in that movie. And you just missed your opportunity. You know what's tough, though? You put Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt in the same movie, I'm going to forget them both in it. It's just like I'm affected

in an equal way. I don't know why Pete hasn't seen it. It's a sexy movie. A lot of girls run around and Adrian Grenier just has a couple of scenes crying back at the house. Actually, you're so successful! We don't get to see each other enough!

You know what? Screw this. Drama lit! And then he remembers he's not an entourage. Super sad. I totally saw Anne Hathaway sit next to me in a restaurant once in Los Angeles and that's how affected I am by her beauty. I was with my sister and she goes, oh my god, that's Anne Hathaway.

And I just said, the devil wears Prada! That loud. I yelled it. I yelled it. I yelled it. The rare in-person hashtag. I yelled it. What did she do? Did she look over? She didn't. She just maintained her neck stayed very long and directly forward.

But I left immediately. All right, Grant, your seven names are Ari Gross, Sherilyn Fenn, Lee McCloskey, William Zabka. So far, no, none of them. You're so fucked. You don't know who Billy Zabka is? Uh-uh.

Holy shit. Tony Hudson, Billy Jacoby, yeah, and Clayton Roaner. I don't believe the last name would help you at all, if I were to guess. Do you know this, Cameron?

You raised your hand like you knew this. No, I'm just so happy this is so hard for you. If I don't get this, DC wins the game. It's over. Yeah, DC takes it down. But at least I lost even a little bit worse. Okay, it's got just or great in the title. I'm going to say the original Great Expectations.

What do you mean the original? Was there one before? The black and white one? Oh, the book. He means the book. I have no idea. Andy Kaufman reading Great Expectations on means the book. I have no idea. Andy Kaufman reading Great Expectations on a movie screen. I have no idea. I didn't know who any of those actors were.

Let's have a fun little side game here. DC is the winner, but let's say if I told you it wasn't great and it's the word just and it's from 1985, does that help you at all? Say the word just out loud and see where it takes you. Shush, you guys.

It does not help me. It's not Karate Kid 2 Dawn of Justice. What? Karate Kid 2 Dawn of Justice. Now, some panelists would yell at me if I picked that because they would say that's not the word just.

That's the word justice. And then I would take a bottle and I would smash it on a table and then the argument would be over. Because my hand would be cut and I'd need to go to the hospital. Just one of the guys. Just one of the guys.

I've never heard of that movie. I literally don't know what that movie is. Where a girl pretends to be a guy in her senior year of high school and at the prom she whips out her tits because she's tired of Mr. Ray. It's pretty good. Plus she gets a good scoop. And here's the thing about that movie.

That's one of those movies that all lesbians have seen when they were really young. Like before they knew they were gay and they were just like, oh, that woman is a great man. I'm into this. She's just a great man. It also features a scene where the characters drink.

They're up in the hills like drinking and they're drinking out of cans that just say the word beer on them. And they're reading out of their comedy notebooks. It's not great, but when I see it on cable, I do watch for a while. It's especially great to see the scene where she whips her boobs out

on comedy central because then they don't even show it. The greatest thing that happens in the movie, they can't even show it. Are there reaction shots? Yeah, of course. So it just cuts away from her?

I wish they'd put in a glow of a light. Oh, it's like the briefcase in Pulp Fiction? Yeah, exactly. What is that? Yeah, we happy. So yeah, DC Pearson's our winner, you guys. And since he went negative one and also won the whole game,

you're back in the tournament of championships. Pile of pile of people. So, yeah, we'll get you back in there to compete. And, you know, Grant and Cameron. What's called you, Carmen? How many... It happens all the time. It must be, like, you must have been...

Like, Cameron's probably a little bit more popular now as a girl's name. Like, when you first had it, like, when you were younger, it must have been... Like, Cameron's probably a little bit more popular now as a girl's name. Like, when you first had it, like, when you were younger, it must have been pretty confusing to people. It was a fucking nightmare. I mean, we're talking about pre-Cameron Diaz days. Yeah, that's what I mean, yeah. The dark time.

Yeah. Did anybody see sex tape that's here in the audience? Really? And you wooed like you liked? It was a good experience? You liked it? Yeah. She went from woo to yeah.

I didn't realize that one could criticize a film. I thought you just wooed when you heard of one you saw. I hated it. One woo. My friend Sean asked his girlfriend to marry him at sex tape. Why? In the movie. Because he's a romantic.

Wait, was it because he was just like, nothing could get worse than this. It's only up from here, baby. Let's get married. I think it was a beautiful story at a beautiful story. But our friend Kumail's in that movie, so...

Well, there you go. I'm sure... Anytime I see Kumail, I just get down on one knee. Grasp around for ring-shaped things and ask passers-by to marry me. I'm sure it's like a DC Pearson and Captain America sort of a thing where you can just focus on him. He works at the Microsoft store in it. It's kind of a different thing.

His part's pretty funny, I bet. I want to see it. I'll check it out. On a plane. Like, can you imagine seeing a movie called Sex Tape on a Plane? It's weird. Some movies, like I saw Grand Budapest

Hotel, I was watching it on a plane. I turned it off as soon as this happened. It was on my own private screen where they show other R-rated movies uncut, but this one for some reason they bleeped all the F-words. So it was really weird.

That's so lame. It was already weird that a Wes Anderson movie had people dropping F-bombs, because I think he's barely ever had an F-bomb in any of his movies. And then this one, they're saying it constantly, and it's like a period piece. But they're saying F-bombs constantly,

and it's dropped out on, at least on the airline I was flying on. That is weird. So don't fly if you like movies. It's really not going to work out so good. Grant, do you have anything to plug before we go here? Cameron, do you... I'm kidding

Grant I want Grant to say something my moment is over my moment is lost Grant Lyon won the number one on Twitter

that's fine Grant Lyon won L-Y-O-N L-Y-O-N and yeah follow him on Twitter and see what he's up to yeah

it's a very secretive career. It'd be funny if you go to sign up to follow you and your account is blocked. He's a sleeper comedian. Protect it. When I click on somebody's thing and it says this account is protected, I'm like, protected from what?

I want to be in social media, but I don't like the social or the media aspects of it so I'm just going to fucking lurk in a weird hole what do you got coming up Cameron you're probably still doing put your hands together every Tuesday night at the UCB theater out in Los Angeles

which then is a podcast it's available a day or two later yeah the podcast is a stand-up podcast, and I think we're the only people that are doing that. It's pretty cool. I'm pretty proud of it. I also have an action and sci-fi movie podcast that's called Wham! Bam! Pow! And you should check that out,

because I love action and sci-fi movies, and we talk about them there. Yeah, like The Avengers. You love it. I also hate action and sci-fi movies, and we talk about that there. DC, what's going on, man? Buy My Books, The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had To, and Crap Kingdom, wherever fine books are sold.

They're also on audiobooks, so if you listen to podcasts that always offer like Audible.com, Freebook, whatever, you can go get them. And I read both of them, and they're good. You like listening to things, listen to them. Oh, yeah. The Slow Clap for literacy. Slowly building back the literacy. Where's

Mike's mystery team? Where's Mike at? Come get your bag, dude. Congratulations. Or here, just pass it to him. And does he want the name tag back? Oh. There you go. Thanks.

Go to douglosmovies.com for all of my dates and deets and links. I've got tons of Doug Loves Movies tapings all over the place. And I'm going to be back to Madison probably sooner than you guys want because I love it here. Somebody tweeted at me today.

Somebody tweeted, I hope those annoying ladies aren't there today. And I think they're gone for good. I hope they are because nobody was annoying in the there today. And I think they're gone for good, or I hope they are, because nobody was annoying in the audience today. And he took off the mask so defeated. He's not wearing the mask anymore.

Might as well show him the real me. All right, guys, you can have my Ebola. But who's Fraynor? Where's Fraynor at? Raynor. Is this really your shithead on the back? You want me to say that? Okay.

It's a weird one. Okay, they're both weird ones we're gonna go on a weird note uh thank you guys so much for coming let's hear one more time for grand lion cameron esposito dc pearson Pearson. As always, Brendan Fraser is a shithead. And all right, so look at this poster. Okay, that's the poster. And then Rainer says,

I, Frankenstein, is a shithead laughter applause music music music music music music

music music music applause There's no room in his heart for you. The Doug Loves Movies. Hope to see you guys at the 8 o'clock stand-up show, but no big deal if you can't make it. I'll be back for Doug Loves Movies again on Saturday, October 4th at 420. I think that's the right date. Thank you.