Doug Loves Movies - DC Pierson, Harrison Rains, and Brandt Tobler Guest

Episode Date: May 14, 2014

Live from Comedy Works in Denver, CO, Doug welcomes comics DC Pierson, Harrison Rains, and Brandt Tobler to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody! Oh, what a day I had. Turns out, if you go to Lincoln, Nebraska, they try to keep you. My name is Doug and I love movies! And his dog loves movies!

I knew you guys would get that. Coming to you once again from Comedy Works in Denver, one of my top two favorite states. And I'm going to warn you alphabetically. It's been a long time, but that's okay. Colorado. It's Tuesday, May 13th, right? 2014, Wolf of Wall Street, Fight Terminator 2, Judgment Day of the Dead Men Walking Tall, The President's Men in Black, Fisher King, Ralph, Dog Day Afternoon,

Delight, Sleep Perfect, Murder by Death, Wish 3. Did you guys bring some name tags? I see a few here. Oh, that's nice. Wait, that's a poster for the raid, too, and you just changed it to the Doug Benson, too? That's a poster for the raid too, and you just changed it to the Doug Benson too? My face is all over it. Oh, my face is all over it.

Well, what's your name though? Zach. It's supposed to be a name tag for you, Zach. I know. I recognize that puppet. Yes. You moved here? Yes.

From where? Austin. Austin. Yeah, I used to see that puppet all the time in Austin. And what's the name on there? Mary. Mary. M-E-R-R-Y, right? M-E-R-R-I-E. Ah, Jesus. M-E-R-R-I-E. All right. That's some, uh, what were your parents smoking, right? Uh, Kim Fu Hustle. That's a good one. Yeah, made in... Matt Patton?

Wait, why is she out of the killer action movie? You're out of the pussy-ass... J-Lo movie. Ashley made a nice Doug Loves Camera sign. And there's what? That's a big Lebowski there. The Wig Lebowski. The Wig Lebowski.

Because your last name is Wig? Okay. It feels so bad to me if your first name was Wig. Oh, there's one right next to me. Eric Force One, starring Harrison Ford, of course. Meryl Wanna Have Fun. Okay. So girls just wanna have fun?

Right on. What's that box thing? It says Mary Jo's apartment. It says what? Mary Jo's apartment? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh yeah, that cockroach movie, Joe's Apartment.

Starring past and future guests, Jerry O'Connell. Well, thank you guys for bringing all those, and great job, as always. Don't disappoint me, Dan Burr. Now it's time to watch this, not that. The number one movie at the North American box office right now is Neighbors, which I haven't seen yet.

The number two movie is The Amazing Spider-Man 2, which I did see. So see Neigh movie is The Amazing Spider-Man 2, which I did see. So see neighbors, not Spider-Man. This has been Watch This, Not That. Anything's better than Spider-Man. Maybe not anything. It wasn't that bad. But I suddenly got a serious allergy attack coming on. I'm going to sneeze, you guys. Ah-choo! Hey, yes, thank you.

Hey, quick favorite ask. There's this thing that you can do or you can go on the internet. You can go to podsurvey.com slash Doug and take a five minute survey about podcasts and you'll be entered to win a $100 Amazon gift card. It only

takes five minutes. Podsurvey.com slash Doug. Thanks in advance. Las Vegas. The David Douglas movie is Thursday night, May 15th. That's this Thursday at the Backstage Bar in Billiards. From the Corrections Department, please stop bugging the Corrections Department about movie titles in Build-A-Title

that are just phrases that the guest thinks might be a movie. The contestant needs to know what the movie is. Polina Graham-Elwood, as I like to call it, is not allowed, Mark Wahlberg. It's so weird, this is the first episode that the Mark Wahlberg ever listened to, and it's like, why is he, what's he talking to me for? What did I ever do to him?

How you guys doing, You want to do some lines? Austin, Texas. Puppet Lady's former home. The home of the Mary Puppet Lady. She was too rude even for Austin.

They threw her out. But I'm doing Doug Loves Movies this Saturday, May 17th at 420 at Cap City Comedy Club. And then on Sunday, I'm doing a Benson movie interruption of Showgirls. Yeah, at 140 in the afternoon. It's the new 420, you guys.

Why wait all day? Yeah, I mean, it's 140 because that's the only time slot I could get, but it should be fun. Did anybody that's here tonight go to the Benson movie interruption of Mrs. Doubtfire? Could you believe how crappy that movie is? It's making me very sad that there's a sequel in the works.

Yeah, right? I guess at least he doesn't have to make himself look old when he changes. sad that there's a sequel in the works. Yeah, right? I guess at least he doesn't have to make himself look old when he changes into this stuff. The prize bag is so chock full of goodness I think I'm going to just take everything out of it once I get my guests out here.

Please give a big, warm Denver welcome to Harrison Raines, Brent Tobler, and D.C. Pearson! Hey, fellers! Hello! Uh-oh. No? There's a loss, which I guess we'll get out of here. Hey, fellers. Hello. Uh-oh. There's an off switch, I guess. I'm out.

No, I'm in. You're in. That's Brad Totler, everybody. He helped interrupt Mrs. Doubtfire the other night. Yeah, a little bit. I heard you saying backstage that it made you not want to see a movie for a week. Yeah, I was just that shitty. Just, I'm not going to see another one of these. I'm not going to take any more chances.

Yeah, if Robin Williams pops up in a movie, damn it! I don't think I want to see it. Yeah, it's, uh, it was weird how, uh, when was the last time you saw Mrs. Doubtfire at DC? I haven't seen it since it came out. And when the sequel news was announced a couple weeks ago, I was reading that I guess it was one of the first movies to deal realistically with divorce.

Which means that no movies deal realistically with divorce. It's actually... That is something they really get into in that movie. Like, it's a bummer how sad Robin Williams is during most of it. And that he created this weird old lady character. Because a court of law won't let him near his children. And he seems kind of surprised when everyone's like,

What the fuck? You're a man? You've been dressing up as this person for... I mean, it's not like Tootsie. At least nobody fell in love with Mrs. Doubtfire. Wait, a sequel? Yeah. Action to the church. Well, let's give DC his own round of applause.

I was talking to him about doing that. You, of course, have written a young adult novel that you sometimes bring a copy of to the show called Crap Kingdom. Correct. But sometimes, especially when we do it in another city, when you get there, you're like, I'll just go to a bookstore and buy a copy of my own book.

Yeah, I have a ton of them, and I just forget to bring them, and I'm like, it'll be fine. I'm moderately not that well-known. Yeah, nobody's going to call you on it like you're buying your own book. Yeah, no. Today I went to Barnes & Noble

downtown, and I was like, do you have any books by D.C. Pearson? And she was like, do you know what they're called? And I tried to act like I sort of did. And then she looked at her little computer, and she kind of clucked her tongue, and she was like, ma'am they're called? And I tried to act like I sort of did. And then she looked down at her little computer and she kind of clucked her tongue and she was like, ma'am, we don't have this woman. And I got extra depressed and then I realized she was talking to a woman behind me and dealing with her request first. But I thought she

did it. Not only did she not have my books, but she had mistaken me for a bearded lady. Oh, but I thought she had, not only did she not have my books, but she had mistaken me for a bearded lady. Not to be anti-bearded lady is some of my favorite carnival feasts. Do you have any copies of D.C. Pearson's Shit House? No, but we have Crap Kingdom. Well, that would have been better if it was Crap Castle. But anyway, she bought something else, a book that you recommend. Yeah, I brought a book called You by Austin Grossman, which is an excellent novel by an author who also wrote a book called Soon I Will Be Invincible, which I like very much. And that one is about intrigue and murder and craziness in the world of computer game design.

And I really, really liked it a lot. Alright, that's a great gift! Good job! Welcome to Deadmau5 Sports. Speaking of great gifts, if somebody wins, if the person wins the prize tonight, now the sizes may not match up with your body, but

if you could be a bunch of different shapes, you're going to have enough shirts to get you through like five days, like a work week of shirts if you work in a place that would allow such a thing. Harrison Raines is here, you guys. He is the curator,

for lack of a better word, of the movie Interruption, hashtag movie interruption, here at the Littleton location, Denver adjacent. No, you're out of town. I get to run that. Alamo Drafthouse, yeah.

And you also do shows that are called the Mile High Sci-Fi shows, and you brought two T-shirts from that. And it sounds like I brought a fan. One fan back there.

Yay! Thanks. Popular show, yes. But that's cool. I brought three shirts. I brought a Team Sam shirt. Hashtag Team Sam. People love that little imp.

And then I brought two Doug Loves Movies shirts because they're two wildly different sizes, and maybe the winner will have a significant other that's the other size. One's really big and one's really small. So work that out, you guys. And then Brant brought a whole bunch of stuff, including...

What's with these koozies? That's my koozie. I'm on the road, so I just had to give everything out of my fucking suitcase. So that's a koozie that I sell on the road that just says all women talk about is live, laugh, love, but all they do is bitch, pout, and complain. Which goes better with a joke,

but it's part of the act. I thought you said bitch, fuck, and complain. It's pout. It's only pout. They never fuck. They pout about me wanting to fuck them. No women ever fuck. There are no people on earth.

That's right. And then the rest of the stuff, I was at a thrift store in Colorado Springs, but I didn't have any cash, so I had to spend $10 to get the shirt I wanted. So that's a game called LCR, which is actually really fun, that I wanted for myself,

but now I have to give to you, because I didn't have any prizes. You could have kept it. These koozies are amazing. There's two of them, you guys. So whoever wins, you and your significant other can put on some shirts

and throw some beers into some koozies. Have yourself a time. Yes. And you can listen to Brandt's CD called Token White Boy. Perfect. It's a romantic night, guys. And I got some gum and some other fresh shit in there for you.

Oh yeah, there's like mints and gum. Yeah, I just had to get to $10. There you go. I'm not going to name the companies that made these mints and gum because they're not sponsoring the show. So fuck them. I brought a pair of sunglasses that somebody gave me.

And yeah, somebody's going to be a real winner tonight. And then this is the item that people might be the most excited about other than all these other great things. And that is, I'm giving them away because we're not selling them yet

but people want them badly. a Getting Doug With High mug. This bag is so flimsy, the mug is making the bag fall apart. Because it's a heavy, heavy-duty mug. And then I also just had this, speaking of things that are just in your bag, I had some Downy fabric softener. But they should sponsor the show because those are good to wrap around the end of a

paper towel tube and then blow the weed smoke into it. This is starting to feel like a divorced dad that forgot about Christmas. Roll in on December 27th. Oh, what do I have in the Tercel? This was all the shit

that was in Mr. Doubtfire's apartment before he cleaned it up. That's it, right there. And some Chinese food. Any Chinese food in there? And our friend in the audience, Six Finger Tim, who you guys have to meet him after the show

because there's no better hand to shake than one that has a little tiny extra finger on each hand. Where is he? There he is. Oh, I can see it. Real mixed reaction on the hand. The closer you are to it, the worse it is. From a distance,

it doesn't look like much of anything. But you get close, and there's that extra finger. Yeah. So many questions. Did he cut his finger on? What? Nothing.

The altitude's really fucking with me, this is gonna be a mixed bag. This is a mixed bag right here. But Six Finger Tim was nice enough to, he did this the other day and then again today,

he brought some, what do you call them, training, what are they called? Hand wraps. Hand wraps. Do you use extra hand wraps to keep the six finger under control when you're in there fighting? Does that break the rules to have extra fingers in MMA? As long as you wrap them up. All right. But anyway, there's a place he included two one-week free passes to basically an MMA gym that's also got fitness and kickboxing and grappling,

and the gym is called Train, Fight, Win with a period after each one. Which I believe also is the title of the sequel to Stupid Crazy Love. That's my old koozie. All chicks talk about is live, laugh, love but all they do is train, fight, and win. I mean, the punctuation could be less confidence inspiring. At least they're periods and it's not like

train, fight, win? the punctuation could be less confidence inspiring at least there are periods and it's not like train fight win I would have gone with exclamation points on all three train fight win TFW but that's the prize bag you guys and that's our show thanks guys

got through it I got here guys. And that's our show. Thanks, guys. Whew. Got through it. I got here. Got through the prize bag. Let's talk movies, you guys. So we already know Brant has sworn off movies for a while because of Mrs. Doubtfire. So you got nothing fresh that you've

witnessed? No, not really. Okay, moving on. Harrison, what was the last movie you've seen since Mrs. Doubtfire? I saw Spider-Man. And I liked it. Yeah? Fight! Train! Win!

We need six-finger Tim over here to protect me. Jeez. I liked it. But then again, I went with a girl on a date and her two kids, 13 and an 8-year-old, and I just needed that. I needed to not have them staring at me the whole time. So I enjoyed the movie.

I was just like, the heat coming off the 13-year-old. I was like, this is not such a bad movie. Did the kids like it? They liked it. I don't know, the kids like it? They liked it. I don't know. Kids like it, right? They like Spider-Man 2? I mean, I think they just like Spider-Man,

but I don't think kids are going to get too into, didn't they just do this 10 years ago? It's too soon for a reboot. I think that's why a lot of adults... They made this movie already when I was a zygote. I think that's why adults don't like it. Initially, I didn't like the first one that much, the one that came out two years ago.

But this one was better, and it followed the comic book a little bit. Have you guys seen that movie about fertility doctors and the men who stare at zygotes? Sorry, Harrison, you were saying? Doesn't matter Doesn't matter, I liked it Once I think of him, I gotta get him out

Because I'll forget after a while Sounds like I'm the only one who liked it No, not in the world But At this show Maybe at a Douglas Movies taping where people are extra discerning about their films. People have taste.

This gentleman, he's a fan of Made in Manhattan. He goes for classier fare than a Spider-Man movie. Once Ralph Fiennes is in a Spider-Man movie, then this guy will be all over it. I love your Weezer Crew shirt, by the way. That's awesome. What about you, DC? Have you seen the new Spider-Man?

I haven't seen either of the Spider... I haven't seen any of the Spider-Men. Except for, I mean, the original... Sure. ...Toby Maguire trilogy. Right. Of which I've seen the first two. But I haven't seen any of the new ones.

It's like you're on a quest to avoid the bad Spider-Man movies you really let public opinion and I really like Spider-Man he was my favorite when I was a kid he was wisecracking, he was jumping around that's it he does that in this movie too but then when he's not jumping around and wisecracking

he's crying like it's a very emotional Spider-Man and it's not jumping around wisecracking. He's crying. Like, it's a very emotional Spider-Man. And it's not my cup of tea. But looks like they're going to make a third one. You prefer the macho Spider-Man of two-fisted Tobey Maguire. Tobey Maguire just looks sad all the time. He doesn't have to fucking act like he's sad. He can just be Tobey Maguire just looks sad all the time. He doesn't have to fucking act like he's sad. He can just be Tobey Maguire.

Just standing around the Great Gatsby going, why am I here? What did I do to deserve this? The thing Tobey hears most is, what's wrong? I'm just here. Just trying to order Starbucks. Everything's cool?

Or the other thing he hears is, oh, what's up, Topher? People were offended. Big Topher Grace contingent in Denver. Wow. I don't think there's ever probably been a person

who's confused Topher Grace and Tobey Maguire. I guess their names are similar with the Ts. Yeah, that's what I meant. But I don't think those guys are similar at all. But I never think anybody's similar. With the T's. Yeah, that's what I meant. But I don't think those guys are similar at all. But I never think anybody's similar. Somebody tweeted

at me recently that when they heard Jon Favreau on the podcast they go Jon Favreau sounds exactly like Leonard Maltin. And there's somebody else that agrees with that. But since I know what Jon Favreau and Leonard Maltin sound like,

they sound like two different people to me. But that's interesting that people make those connections. They both use words, which I think is weird. Yeah, that's probably what people were zeroing in on, is that word usage. Tonight, you sound kind of like Harrison Ford. As you both use words. Oh, dude. Speaking of...

Words. What are those? Speaking of movies that should have been seen recently, you're in Captain America, The Winter Soldier. I am in Captain America America The Winter Soldier. I am in Captain America The Winter Soldier. I buried the lead. Should have started the show with that. We're here now.

I play an Apple Store employee and I bug Captain America and the Black Widow while they're trying to do superhero stuff. Yeah, and your one scene in that movie is funnier than anything that happens in Spider-Man 2. Take that however you want.

Oh, thanks, man. I was sort of pitching myself as a potential when they're ready to re-reboot it. Just like a weird bearded Spider-Man. A sort of Mumford in Spider-Man, if you will. I like it. Thank you. I'm into it.

I haven't done this in a while. I thought I'd bring it back because I always have so much fun doing it. Let's do a round of love, like, hate, hate, like. Yeah. Or however you want to say it. I mix up the order sometimes. Love, like, hate, hate like. And this is where I'm going to name an actor.

It could be an actress, but they're all under the actor banner. And, like, you know, people probably mistake you for an actress when you're buying books. But they could just call you an actor, and it fits for both. Yeah, they're like like is that bearded

I try to think of a blonde lady that looks like me and I couldn't Topher Grace when in doubt Topher Grace so we're going to go through and each of you in order are going to name a movie by this performer

that this performer is in that you love, and then one that you like, and then one that you hate, and then one that you hate that you like. And you can pass once. And I will play as well. And since we're in Denver, I decided to,

you know, Jan Michael Vincent and T.J. Miller aside, I'd say that Don Cheadle is arguably the most successful film actor from Denver he graduated high school here so panel please tell me

one at a time we'll start down there with Bran what's a Don Cheadle movie that you love? uh uh I loved Ocean's Eleven brand. What's a Don Cheadle movie that you love? I love Ocean's Eleven. Ocean's Eleven? Yeah. Okay. It's pretty good. He's a little underused and has a wacky British

accent, but it's a good choice. And the only one I could think of right off the bat. Well, hopefully the rest of us will name, when we're saying ones we love, one that reminds you of how much you hate. Yeah. And then that'll work out for you.

Harrison, what do you think? Iron Man 2. Yeah. He was in that. He took over as a war machine then. Wait, 2 is your favorite of the Iron Man movies? 2 is my favorite. Don...

He's in all of them. No, he's not in the first one. Oh. So he's in is my favorite. He's in all of them. No, he's not in the first one. So he's in two and three. He's in three, though. Yeah, but I think he was better in two. He was better. He had more to do in two? Yeah, because his war machine suit was better.

I mean, he was in the suit the whole time. In three, he was just sort of borrowing suits and stuff. Yeah, he was borrowing suits. Which wasn't as cool. God, I really thought, you know, in my mind, he was in the first part. Terrence Howard.

Oh, Terrence Howard played that part, but the character was there. That's why. Good call, audience member. What about you, DC? What do you love? I thought about sarcastically saying that I hate Boogie Nights because it creates unrealistic

penis expectations but I can't think of a Don Cheadle movie that I hate so I'm afraid I have to pass this is the love round oh we'll take it Doug can I tell you what I thought was happening I thought I think I you what I thought was happening?

I think I know what you thought was... I love boogie nights. Yeah, okay. Freaky deaky. For my love, I went with Out of Sight. With George Clooney and J-Lo in the trunk of a car. And Don

Cheadle was a very nasty guy in that. He was a bad guy and he did a great job. But yeah, Boogie Nights is also great. And I haven't seen, well we'll see what happens when we go through and name some more things. Brant, do you have one that you just like?

You're just like, that's a good one. You know, I like Iron Man 2. I thought it was all right. It wasn't as good as the first one. You said 3. No, I said 3. I'm more of an Iron Man 1 guy. Did you see Iron Man 3?

No. Oh, okay. Because that's my favorite of the Iron Man movies, but that's just me, I guess, and two or three other people. What about you, Harrison? What do you like? Traitor was pretty good. No one obviously... A couple people saw that.

Is that the one where he worked at the stock exchange? No. Oh, Traitor. Traitor, yeah. You've seen Traitor, right? I don't think I've seen Traitor. Traitor! Yeah, I'm a traitor in the movie Traitor.

What? It was pretty good. It was a decent movie. It was kind of a Bourne identity without the action. Sort of. Does that make sense? Finally, the action in those movies

dragged down the who is this guy storyline. Just shaky shots of people chatting. So I liked it. What do you like, DC? I like traffic. Okay. I like Hotel. Okay. I like Hotel Rwanda.

And I put it in the like category because, well, that was weird that people are going, woo! For a movie about Rwanda. Did you think I said Hotel Rwanda for dogs? But, um... I put it on like

because I think it's a really good movie that I never want to see again. Like, it's not something you pop into the... I almost said VCR. It's not... It's not something that you grab the old laser disc and... That's the only two ways

they released it. Let's go to hate. Brant. Do you hate any Don Cheadle movies? That one where he just got Tom Hanks' boat. Was that him?

Where he's a pirate? I'm joking. I'm joking. You know, that wasn't him, the Somali pirate? That wasn't Doc Sheetal? Let's hear it for Don Sterling. Surprise guest on the show, Donald Sterling. No, I would say that I hate Hotel Rwanda. Just because I saw the previews and I didn't

want to watch it. It's heavy. You're not a fan of Piles of Bodies? No, I'm not. It's a terrible hotel when there's Piles of Bodies. It reminds me of some of the gigs that I do on the road. Harrison, do you

hate any Cheeto movies? You seem to kind of like movies to the point where you're pretty... Oh, I got one I road. Harrison, do you hate any Cheeto movies? You seem to kind of like movies to the point where you're pretty... Oh, I got one I hate. Well, okay. Volcano, right? He was in Volcano. Yeah, he was in Volcano. That was awful. That was Anne Heche, Tommy Lee Jones.

Yeah, they had a weird little love thing going. That was the one that came out right around the same time as Dante's Peak, which has one of the most horrifying scenes in any movie ever, when the old lady... The old lady has to get out of the boat and just step into the lava.

What the fuck? The acid lake. The acid lake. I'm sorry. It's not lava. It's an acid lake. The acid lake. I'm sorry. It's not lava. It's an acid lake. Sorry, geologist. Yeah.

She's from the horrifying... I'm big stiflers when it comes to what melts grandma. A lot of Google searches. Hates may be a strong word, but I'm not a fan of the Academy Award winning best picture called Crash. Yeah.

Huh? So I've lost my hate privileges? You're out. You're out. He doesn't get to hate. But also, we would have caught it. You don't have You're out. He doesn't get to hate. But also, we would have caught it. You don't have to say anything.

I hate that she interrupted you. Yeah. That's your case. Do you have one that you hate? Was he in The Perfect Storm? No. Okay, then I don't hate that one. No, I thought perhaps he was, and now...

Why did you think he was? It's a bunch of white dudes on the phone. I don't know. It feels like it was around that period where he was starting to be in a lot of commercial movies and might just be another African-American gentleman. And I'll see myself out of society. Thank you very much.

Okay, when we're done here, Anderson Cooper would like to speak to you. Give you that smooth transition into obscurity. Thank you, DC. But yeah, getting back to Crash. If you're gonna watch a movie called Crash, it should be the James Spader movie where

he plays a guy who wants to have sex with somebody's wound. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a gnarly movie. Um, okay, this is the last one, Brad. Okay. All you have to do is come up with four Don Cheadle movies. Goddamn it. It's kind of a mental warm-up for the actual games

that are gonna happen. I'm trying to bait people into thinking I'm shitty in the real game. Is there one that you... I bet it's working. Yeah, wow. Is there one movie of his that you hate that you like it?

Guilty Pleasure Time? Well, this is a bit of a reach. A lot of people probably haven't seen this movie. And he wasn't in Titanic. Do the right thing? No, wait. The one that I hate that I liked,

I actually watched the other day. A lot of people probably haven't seen this movie. And it's called the 2014 Denver Broncos Season in Review. Because Don Cheadle was on there. He's a huge Bronco fan and I liked the first like 18 weeks of it and then I hated it. I'm a huge Bronco fan so I hated it. So it was like, hey

and he was in this movie about the Broncos because he's a huge Denver Broncos fan. It's a bit of a reach but it's all I got. I doubt you saw that one. It was a fascinating reach. Gotta reach for another beer., what kind of beer are you drinking? Just beer? Can somebody bring Bran a beer?

Dark beer in honor of Don Cheadle No? You're doing great You're winning this crowd over I was trying to make up I did not know Don Cheadle loved beer. They have forgotten all about my Spider-Man comments.

So thanks. I'm sorry. We'll be back with more of Doug Loves Racist after Harrison adds more racism to the fire. What do you think? What's one that you love that... I hate that you love it.

Devil in a Blue Dress? It's a pretty good movie. He's great in that movie. Yeah, he is really good. So what's to hate about it? Or about yourself? Did you go without children is that why

it wasn't as good for you I don't know I guess I don't really okay so maybe I don't really hate that one I'm sure there's one if I rattled off a bunch of Don Cheadle movies

I'm sure there's something but I love that I love that you don't have hate in your heart you fucked up this round more than I did really oh I'd say it's a toss up

Yeah It's a close one, yeah He did name a Don Cheadle movie All four times What do you got, DC? Well I was gonna let you roll right over me But I thought this young lady over here would be pissed I was going to let you roll right over me.

But I thought this young lady over here would be pissed. I can't think of a Don Cheadle movie that I guilty pleasure enjoy. I feel like he mostly makes really good and interesting choices, so I'm afraid that... So you just say pass. Yeah, all right, sweet. All right. Shit, what? I forgot about my pass. Pass. I figured the time that I said he was in The Perfect Storm

and he definitely wasn't. I figured that counted as my pass. I don't know if he definitely wasn't, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't. He might add a small part not on the boat, but he's not on that boat. That's a bunch of white dudes with New England accents.

Oh, okay. Huh? Is there a black guy on the boat? I kind of hope you say no. Because then I'll weirdly be off the hook. You know what I mean? Better not, you know?

I don't think. Nobody knows. Nobody wants to watch Perfect Storm again. Because it was perfect. I was going to say, it's more storm than perfect, but my hate that I like it is Oceans 12.

Because that's the one where it came out so shitty that Clooney and Pitt actually kind of apologized for it. And then they said they'd make up for it with Ocean's 13, and then that one was worse. But Ocean's 12, if it's

on, probably all three of them. If any Ocean's movie's on cable and I'm flipping around, I'll just leave it on there. The whole idea that I love, you know, all the actors are good and they all have good scenes in them, but that shit with Julia Roberts playing a person who's not

Julia Roberts, pretending to be Julia Roberts, and then running into the real Bruce Willis. It's just a little too fucking meta. And then Joseph Gordon-Levitt bursts in and shoots Bruce Willis oh there's Brant's beer

and oh everybody gets another one I've barely had my drink because oh thank you I haven't even picked up my first one yet this is amazing I put mine all the way down on the ground because I need something to write my notes on and this drink will cause the stool to become all wet.

Good story, Doug. Wet stools. The Doug Benson story. Yeah, I have kind of an interesting diet. One time, Laura Dern and Sam Neill were fascinated with a pile of my droppings. All right, enough fucking around. This is the part of the show where I say, let the games begin!

And of course, to do this, each of you, oh, look at that. That's the table I want. Here, can you swap out this stool for that table? This show's gonna be great now. I'm sure people were listening and were like, Doug is not... There's something off about Doug.

He needs a better table. One that can hold his many vodka drinks. And his notes. Without getting everything all wet. Oh, this is a great system you guys worked out. I love it. Now I just gotta pick up my stupid drinks while also trying to keep the show going still.

So there are name tags in the audience, and if each of you gentlemen could go ahead and pick who you'd like to play for and get that name tag from them and don't read the shithead on the back. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. We're back.

So, DC, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Zack. He has the Raid 2 Baron doll poster, but instead it's the Doug 2 Benson doll, and I really liked that movie, and I like this because your faces are all the characters of the Raid 2, and they're all killing each other.

Oh, Bensonall, I get it now. And yeah, Hammer Girl, with her weapon of choice, claw hammers, that's the best reason to see that movie. Yeah, that was just viral marketing for Home Depot. I need to kill some goons.

And who are you playing for, Harrison? I've got Brittany. Did like a little labyrinth thing there. That's kind of clever. Yeah, that's her face instead of David Bowie's? Yeah. All right. And don't show the audience or sound loud the shithead on the back.

That looks like a good one. And who are you playing for? I am playing for the Passion of the Christen. It's an interesting one. And these cookies. I didn't know Jesus was so happy in that movie. I didn't know he was just smoking a J and giving the thumbs up. It's the buddy Christ.

It's the buddy Christ from Dogma. Oh, it's from Dogma, okay. Buddy Christ. All right. Well, good one. A lot of corrections at the show tonight. Denver's all about the facts. Doug's corrections.

It's like Doug's interruption, but they just correct everything. Yeah, thank you. That's going to be my sixth podcast. The Benson correction. Uh-oh, you lost your wallet, almost knocked your beer over. See that? Water's about to knock your beer over.

See that? No? Okay. See what's going on there? Wait, oh, because you have backup beer, that's why. You should just go ahead and put it on the stool, I think. That was a great shot for the audience. Enjoy. That's live show only. No podcast listeners gets to see my airplane fresh butt.

Airplane fresh. I'd like to start this game session with a little thing called How Much Did This Shit Make? This, of course, is a game where you have to guess the final domestic box office tally of a motion picture that probably wasn't very good.

Neighbors, the movie Neighbors, is killing it right now at the box office. Seth Rogen is flying high. But he had a bit of a flop, and flop is in quotes because it made some money but not nearly enough to make up for the budget with a motion picture called The Green Hornet. Yeah.

So the question to you guys, we'll start with DC and then go to Brandt and then to Harrison. And I need you to tell me how much you think that movie made, according to Box Office Mojo, in millions without going over. I'm going to say 109. Okay.

People are... Some people are... People are clapping because they like money. Some people think you just... That's money. Some people think you just sank a putt. That's what that sounded like. What do you think, Brant?

How much do you think it made? I'm going to go with $131 million. Okay. We love $109 million. We hate $131 million. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And Harrison?

I'm going to go... Shh. Shh. Harrison? I'm going to go... Shh! One dollar! I'm going to go... You know what?

I'm going to go $28 million. Oh, okay. Or $1. Thank you, everyone. Would have done the same thing, but you're trying to show off your absolute... I mean, I did say that it made some money.

$28 is really bad by today's or those days standards. It actually made, and this was kind of a funny number because it was just so close. It made $98.7 million. Didn't get into the $100 million club. But that means that Harrison wins. Thanks, Price is Right. Yeah, you won with arguably the worst guess.

You're the furthest away, but Price is Right rules prevail. And all you won was the chance to go first in the next game, which is a little thing that I like to call Last Man Stanton. And I am going to play this game too, because I like to play. I win sometimes. That's fun. We need to get an actor, actress, or director, or directress,

who has a lot of credits, and that's what we'll play with. And I want to ask the young lady that I scolded earlier for pointing out that I skipped DC because she's just trying to be nice. So who's somebody that's made a lot of movies? She's panicking.

Martin Scorsese? I love it. Wow, this is going to be an interesting one. All right, so we'll start with Harrison, then go to DC, and then me, and then Brad. So Harrison, just name any movie that was directed by Martin Scorsese. He's produced some random things here and there,

so let's just stick with directing, because I'm not sure everything he produced. He produced a lot of the things he directed, of course. Mean Streets? Yeah, that's one. DC? Goodfellas. Okay.

I'll go with The Wolf of Wall Street. Fight Terminator 2. Build a title. I'll go with... Drunk guy in the back. Build a giant. Build a giant. Oh, she's 11. Wait, what's happening?

It's stuck in my head. Wait, did I fuck it up? I make Goodfellas 2. That's what I make. You're just thinking of that because he plays a guy who looks like Martin Scorsese in that movie.

Am I already out? Well, that's what I want to ask. How is that possible? I'm trying to think of all the movies I've watched. Do you just skip the first part of the movie where they say who the director is? Yeah, I watch movies when I was in high school. Just the first 15 minutes and then I had to go home.

That first 15 minutes would be where Martin Scorsese's name appears. Martin Scorsese... I'm thinking of the one... The Town? Is this really happening? I can't think of it. You might be the worst guest

I've ever had. I think I am. I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think of all the movies I watched, like Karate Kid. Well, you can't just name all the movies you've seen. Until you luck into a Scorsese. He has directed a lot, but not enough, apparently.

He ghost-directed Karate Kid. That's why everyone's always doing blow in that movie. but not enough apparently. Ghost directed Karate Kid. I know. That's why everyone's always doing blow in that movie. Alright, so you're out then. I'm out again. We'll see what kind of damage you can do to the Leonard Maltin game. What's your podcast called again?

The 31. WTF. What the fuck movie was that? I don't... The 31. Yeah, I'm just trying to get a plug in now. Before it's even less likely that people will ever want to hear from you again.

before it's even less likely that people will ever want to hear from you again. I'm drawing a blank on movies. I'm really good at the Leonard Maltin game, so don't worry. You mean the Jon Favreau game? Yeah. All right, Harrison, what do you got? Taxi Driver.

Mm-hmm. No, wait, are do you got? Taxi driver. Mm-hmm. All right. No, wait, are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Do you want to do some lines? Oh, shit, I just gave an inadvertent clue. What's another one? Shh.

Someone just yelled Jurassic Park. Oh, okay. I don't even like comedy guesses. As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a dinosaur. I will say The Aviator. The Aviator, yeah. That was about an amazing pair of glasses. Alright, I've got so many to choose from. All right. I've got so many to choose from.

Casino. Casino. Harrison? The Departed. Yeah. Starring our friend Mark Wahlberg. That's what I meant when I said the town. It's the same fucking movie.

You know what? I swear that's what I meant. Yeah, no, that redeemed you this much. Both of those movies are also names of menu items at Wahlburgers. Mark Wahlberg's burger restaurant. They're not. That was too plausible to be a joke. It just became a lie.

I ate at Wahlburg's with a lot of people and I was happy to be the lone survivor. Did I get sued by Wahlburgers? That's just a movie joke. I've never really eaten there. What have you got, DC? I'm going to say Shutter Island. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, man. People didn't really care for that one. I did. I'm going to go with... How about Raging Bull? Harrison's getting caught here. No.

Gangs of New York. Gangs of New York, yeah. Yeah, that's a great movie if you're into top hats and axe murder. So Johnny Depp, basically. Hugo. Hugo is my...pp, basically. Hugo. Hugo is mine. Yes, Hugo.

I will go with Cape Fear. Is that Bane ordering a movie ticket? I'd like one for Cape Fear. Because I don't fear the cape of Batman. Sometimes I go to the movies in the middle of the day. Because I like to live in the shadows. I don't ever jerk off in there,

but I like knowing that I could. I think that's a very relatable thing. D.C.'s Bane is very... Specific? Yeah. Harrison, we stalled for you there a little bit. Not enough, I guess. I think I'm out.

Really? Yeah. Okay. It happens. He didn't do Celebrity, did he? Nuh-uh. That was Woody Allen. Then I'm out.

But I didn't embarrass myself too bad. Say The Rock. The Rock. Say The Rock. I don't know what you're worse at, playing for yourself or others. I want him out with me. It's lonely over here.

What do you think, DC? After Hours. Yes. Yeah, I love that movie. That's a good one. How about The Age of Innocence? It's a very exciting movie if you like to learn about plates.

Do you see? King of Comedy. Yes! Another great one. One of the greatest movies of all time. Yeah, we would have gotten yelled at hard if we didn't remember that. If you said it was the best movie ever,

that would be too underrated. It is so good. Yeah, I love that movie. It looks like he's done a few good ones. Oh, The Last Temptation of Christ. Ooh. Ooh. According to this name tag, his last temptation was weed.

That's so funny that the name tag's right there. But Passion of the... That was the Mel Gibson. Condon. What? Condon. I believe that was... A Martin Scorsese movie. Paul Schrader. Nope.

It was Scorsese? Yeah. Scorsese, Scorsese. Really? Yeah, that's Scorsese for sure. Yeah, he knew it. He knew it. He knew it. I know that one. That's Scorsese for sure, Doug.

I know that. Now, Condon's the, it's the big screen story of the person who wrote the music for Law & Order. You gotta make it more than two notes. No, I can't! One note's for law,

one note's for order. You put three notes in there, all you have is, by Menon. Or NBC. Alright, Cundon. That's a good one. Good poll. Good Cundon poll.

I'm gonna go with Alice doesn't live here anymore. Oh, you wanna go back there? Okay. Who's that knocking at my door? Oh! Good one. Oh, man. I might be in trouble here. I'm sure there's more.

I just got to think of one that he did. I'm gonna be so embarrassed by what I've left out, but I think it's time to declare DC the winner. DC! Well, a hearty condone to all of my competitors. It was a good game. Go ahead, you guys. Yell them out. Oh, New York Stories.

He directed the one segment in that. New York, New York. Last Waltz. Bringing Out the Dead. Yeah. Didn't care for that one. New York, New York. Last Waltz? Bringing Out the Dead, yeah. Didn't care for that one. Once Upon a Time in America? That was Sergio Leone, dude.

Shark Tale, he's a voice in Shark Tale. A guy yelled out a joke answer that was fucking wrong. Pick up your face. All right, well, that game determined that DC is going to go first in the Leonard Maltin game. And then we'll go to Harrison, and then we'll go to Brandt. But I'm happy that we didn't miss too many of the Scorsese movies. We totally fucked up on the... He did musical documentaries, and then, of course,

Bringing Out the Dead was an ambulance movie that I didn't care for. Did an HBO documentary about Fran Lebowitz a couple years ago. That was going to be my real break in case of emergency one. This is just a little insight into the process, folks. Would I have gotten credit? He fake directed a movie in Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Oh yeah, you would have totally gotten credit for that. Well, I didn't know. And he directed Aquaman in Enterprise. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was kidding. You would not get credit for... Let's do this, you guys. Show's running right on time.

Sounded like you were starting to do like a Wolf of Wall Street thing. Um, um, um. Um, um, um. Um, um, um, um. Um, um, um. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um. Um, um, um, um. Ah! Um, um, um, um, um.

Yeah! Yeah. I love the... I love the weird noises he throws in there. Apparently, I heard he was just... Apparently, he was just doing that on set. I'm sure. I he throws in there. Apparently, I heard he was just doing that on set. I'm sure. I'm sure he was. And DiCaprio was like, turn on the camera.

It was like the whole fucking trailer was him doing that. I was in. I was like, I'll see that. Yep. Alright, so DC gets picked first category and first player to two points is going to be our winner and somebody's going to get a bag full of

crap we all brought. Harvey Keitel is celebrating a birthday today. The actor, so the films of Harvey Keitel. Or Yolo Virus, and that's films where an actor who played James Bond dies. So this isn't James Bond movies.

It's movies where one of the guys who played Bond is in another movie and dies. And I fucked up once because I thought Timothy Dalton died at the end of Hot Fuzz, but he just gets impaled through the mouth. And they show him all bandaged up and alive at the end. Or Dangly Bits, Dangle Bits.

That is movies where Tom Lennon, our friend Tom Lennon, has just one scene in the movie. He's done that a lot. I hope to create a similar category for you one day. I'm going to go with Dangly Bits.

Would you like a Dangly Bit movie from 2011 or 2010? I am going to go with 2011. Thank you. Lettermon gives three stars to this movie from 2011

he says that it is hmm oh he says that one actress in this movie her real life husband is also in the film and it's based on a book

and it's smart and bawdy. Those are your clues. And he lists a shit ton of names. He lists 19 names. I think I can... I get to bid first, correct? Yes.

I think I can do it in zero. Oh, my. It's getting hot in here. Can someone bring out Doug's fainting couch? And smelling salts? The only podcast host with the vapors. Harrison, what do you make of that?

Holy moly. Do you have any idea what it is? I think I do, but... Can you go negative names? Don't be a pussy. No. You know what? I'm not gonna. So just say name it.

Name it. I think the movie is What to Expect When You're Expecting. That is incorrect Really? No way He's in a lot of scenes in that movie Bummer The movie's called What's Your Number

What's Your Number So it starts with what It's probably from 2011 It's Anna Faris She goes back to all her guys she's fucked and tries to see if any of them are worth refucking. Oh, for a ref... And he's her gynecologist and he dated her

but he does not remember her until he gets in there and gets a good look at her pussy. I think... Spoiler! Spoiler! How many movies has he had gynecology? That'd be a fun thing for a girl to do on her first date. Just lift up her skirt, show her vagina,

and yell, spoiler! Or a dude with his dick, either way. No! I'm trying to get cut up on your vagina. I'm behind. I need cut up on your vagina. I'm behind. I need to binge watch your vagina. I've just been staying off Twitter until we fuck. All right, so Harrison's on the board with one point.

Yeah, Harrison. Brant gets to start us off in the next round. I hope he understands some of the words I'm saying. I already know my answer. Oh, wait. See, again, you're terrible at this. No, no. No, go ahead.

You know your answer to what? You'll see. To... The answer to what's your number. If you say fishtail, I will murder you. At Greg Bernhard suggested on Twitter, I didn't even know there was a pool down there. I usually don't like the long category titles like that,

but that's a good one. Because it's movies where someone is thrown off a balcony. And there isn't necessarily a pool down there. At Coffee and Lovers, I mean Liars, excuse me. Can't believe I messed that up. Coffee and Liars makes sense.

Suggested hot for emetophobes, and that's a movie where someone barfs during sex. And what they're doing in the human centipede movies doesn't count as sex. I'll just say that right now. And then, speaking of disgusting categories, Harold Jacker suggested...

Harold Jacker sounds like a porn superhero. Or he's good friends with Jack Reacher. And he suggested... Helping number two. Helping number two. Yeah, you guys are way ahead of me We love the wet stool bit But this is too much This is a film where someone

Eats shit And there's more than You'd think So which one of those Would you like to play Harrison Throwing off a balcony Barfing during sex, or someone eating a poo-poo platter?

I'll go with the, I didn't know there was a pool down there. Alright. Someone gets thrown off a balcony in this movie that is so recent, recent-ish, that this was back when Leonard,

he gave it a full review, and then the app came to a stop. Like, he hasn't added more reviews, but you can still, if you have the app already, it still works. So, no... I know. I know.

I know. If you guys don't already know, you're not really listening to the podcast. There's no reason for me to re-explain it. Other than to say that there's no stars given because that's how he does it when he writes an extra long review. And he calls this movie from 2012 enthralling and frustrating.

And he also says about this movie where someone gets thrown off of a balcony that he says he's unwilling to disparage the film as a whole because there is so much passion and invention to it. So that sounds

like he hated parts of it. And he lists 13 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Harrison Raines of Mile High Sci-Fi? Seven. I'll go seven. It's a smart opening bid. Oh, wait, I'm sorry.

Brant was supposed to go first. Oh, yeah, I'll go 13. Okay, Harrison, what do you want to do with that? You could still bid your seven You know what? I actually want to have fun with this Name it I thought it goes to D.C. It goes to D.C.

I thought it goes to D.C. He can't get out of order there It was going to him, right? No, it's going to D.C. No, no get out of order there. It was going to him, right? No, it's going to D.C. No, no, it's going to Harrison. We change the order every round. This is going to be the most embarrassing thing I think I've ever seen. I might get this shit.

I watched the movie. I haven't seen the movie forever. Go ahead. All right, so he gets all the names. Is that what? Okay. And then he has to try to name it. And it's from 2012.

So it's pretty recent. That's bad for me. This one I really need to just beg everyone because it's going to pop into a lot of your heads. So please resist the urge to yell it out at us because this is going to determine the game. Shit he's going to win? If you don't name it, yeah.

So that's why I'm sending really strong mental vibes your way for you to name this movie. I'm going to tell you all the people that are in it. name this movie. I'm going to tell you all the people that are in it. Some people are going to know it from the first name. They're going to slap their forehead and yell, I could have had a V8.

Here we go. Hugh Grant. Susan Sarandon. David Giasa. Keith David. Jun Ju. James Darcy. Ben Whishaw.

Duna Bay. Yeah, Duna Bay. That just sounds like I'm having a stroke. Ooga Booga is in this movie. Jim Sturgis, Hugo Weaving, Jim Broadbent,

Halle Berry, and Tom Hanks are the 13 people listed by Leonard from this movie from 2012. Brant is racking his whatever brain is

in there. I'm looking at my cookies for motivation. You really shouldn't get to keep those cookies. I know. I'm going to give them to whatever homeless guy's right outside. That'll know this movie. That would actually be better at this game than me.

A Tom Hanks movie in 2012. Well, I already fucked up with one of these on the Don Cheadle game. I don't think it's... It's not big, too. Wasn't that a Russ Meyer film? Because that's the first thing that popped in my head. I don't know. That's how little you know about movies.

You just have to make up movies. Run, Bran. Someone just yelled run Like Forrest, run Forrest I don't think it's Forrest Gump Wow you're better at this than I thought I could have sworn Halle Berry and Hugh Grant Were in Forrest Gump With his childlike powers of deduction.

They played Jenny and Lieutenant Dan. I'm going to milk this one. I'm going to let you sit there and think about it for a while. I will say this, my movie knowledge, I did learn today that David Allen Greer turned down the black guy in Forrest Gump and he hates himself for it. He hates himself for it?

Yeah. Because he didn't sit there and list off a bunch of ways you can make shrubber. He called me at like 2 this afternoon to tell me, man, I wish I'd have done Forrest Gump. And good luck on Doug Loves Movies. My guess is... I think Terrence Howard's more bummed that he didn't do

Iron Man 2 or 3 or the rest of them from now on. Alright, let's do some... Let's go through and do our plugs while he's thinking about stuff. What do you got coming up, DC? My books, Crab Kingdom and The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had To are available in bookstores everywhere and on Amazon. Everywhere?

Not in Denver, apparently. So I guess anywhere three blocks away from here. There's no reason to move out of this state right now. Hey, Mary from Austin, is that why you're here? Did you move here because of the weed legalization? Good for you.

That's great. I know that's happening a lot. A lot of people relocating to get that legal weed, but that's really cool. Harrison, what's going on with you, dude? Movie Interruption's coming up.

Yeah? What's the next one? That'll be on the 12th and it's Top Gun we're doing. Oh, nice. That'll be really, really fun. Which will ruin movies for me

for like a week, I bet. You could have so much fun with the, you know, homosexual overtones. Because it's not, it's not under at all. When Tom Cruise's character is dating a woman

that looks 20 years older than everybody else in the movie, you know he'd rather be doing something with Iceman. He'd rather make the Iceman Cometh. Oh! I think I'm going to start a podcast about this subject. I think I've got some good movie jokes. What are my plugs? Oh, I didn't write down any plugs.

So just go to douglasmovies.com and come see stuff. And I'll, you know, I had a blast doing stand-up here on Mother's Day, so we'll have to do that again next year. I had a blast doing stand-up here on Mother's Day, so we'll have to do that again next year. And, yeah, I'll keep bringing Doug those movies back here because you guys have been a great crowd. And now, Brandt. His podcast is called The 31,

where he has the nerve to ask his guests 31 questions. I've only asked him five or six. And look where we're at. What's your Twitter name, Brant? Twitter, Brant Tobler. B-R-A-N-D-T. T-O-B-L-E-R. Yeah.

The 31 podcast, and I'm going on a long tour in which I'll be watching movies in the day doing shows at night. So go to brandtulber.com. And my final guess

is, ah, fuck, I don't know what it is. That was a pretty good movie. I don't think

it's gonna, I don't think it's gonna come to you. When Harry Met Molly. Sleepless in Denver, because I will be fucking sick all night that I did so shitty on Doug Lowe's movies. It'll be alright.

Like, if you're my support act somewhere, people will be excited to play the Leonard Maltin game. Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm now officially 0 for 2 in blowouts. So, should we all just yell it out? Cloud Atlas! Cloud Atlas! I didn't see that.

Of course you didn't. Of course you didn't. I never saw it. If I just saw it, I'd be all shitty. I never saw it. Tom Hanks plays about seven or eight different parts and so does all the other actors. Hugh Grant plays all the bad characters in it. And it's sort of kind of about past lives and stuff,

and it's really complicated and long. And Tom Hanks throws a dude off a balcony. And it's very violent, because unlike most movies, you get to see the guy hit the ground. Did you see Cloud Alice? I liked it. Yeah, right?

Yeah, it was really good. It's got some cool parts. We interrupted it once, and it proved to be a little long for that. Yeah, four hours? No, no, no. It's three. It's not that long,

but yeah, it's pretty damn long, and so it was a little arduous. Well, you'll interrupt it again in your next life, so. Nice, nice button on that conversation. Good button. Let's give the prize bag away to... It was Brittany. To our friend Brittany.

Yeah, there you go. Yay, Brittany! I did it for you! Yeah! Yay! Yay! Bring me! I did it for you! Yeah! Yay! I can't believe I won just saying name it twice. That's all I did. You know, that's a way to win because strategy is important,

but you also shouldn't point out to people that you won in that shitty way. That was totally my strategy that you stole. I know, yeah. You wanted to do that. Yeah. That was totally my strategy that you stole. I know, yeah. You wanted to do that. Yeah. Here she comes. Congratulations.

There you go. Good job, Brittany. Be careful with it because it really is falling apart. It's just a hotel laundry bag. Most hotel laundry bags don't have a giant mug in them. Dad still loves you even though he doesn't live with Mom anymore.

It's a callback. People act like I know her family history or something. Whoa, dude, don't say that to Brittany. She's going through some hard stuff. It's a callback. Does your passion of the Kristen have a shithead on the back, Brant? Yes. All right, so pass that over here

so I can say that at the end. And let's have a big round of applause for all of my guests, Brant Tobler, Harrison Rains, and D.C. Pearson. and D.C. Pearson. And as always... What? He wants to go back and eat the cookies.

He doesn't deserve those cookies. Well, what... Or does he? Or does he? Am I just being a dick? And the podcast ground to a screeching halt when two men battled over cookies. Yeah, I don't know why we're talking about the fucking cookies. I'll share them. Well, yeah, whatever.

Like... If it helps, I don't want any of them. I heard a rumor there's no weed in them. I'm fat enough. I'll stick rumor there's no weed in them. I'm fat enough. I'll stick to cookies that have weed in them. Leave it at that. And Harrison, since you won today, you're going to have to try to come out to L.A. sometime

and play the game or be a guest the next time I come to Denver. I'm in. I'm in. I'll do it. I'd love to do it. Thank you. Alright, I don't... I'll try it. As always, Sally May is a shithead? Oh, okay.

Should have maybe said that one second. I didn't know there'd be so much. Denver is the biggest home of student loan refugees. Apparently. Oh no, why did I study poetry? I better get to Denver!

But are you good with Fannie Mac? Whoever wrote this? Is that the same thing, kind of? No? But are you good with Fannie Mac, whoever wrote this? Is that the same thing, kind of? No? All those names confuse me. And Mel Gibson is a shithead. Yeah. And Martin Scorsese.

I'm sorry. I suck so bad. I'm sorry. Okay, let me say that again. Sally Mae is a shithead. And Mel Gibson is a shithead. Sally Mae is a shithead and Mel Gibson is a shithead