Doug Loves Movies - DC Pierson, Ngaio Bealum, and Graham Elwood Guest

Episode Date: April 19, 2013

Live from Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco, Doug welcomes comedians DC Pierson, Ngaio Bealum, and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody! Hey! My name is Doug! Who loves movies? And I love movies, sir. Thank you for asking. And San Francisco. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from Cobb's Comedy Club

in San Francisco on my Christmas Eve. 419. Yeah. It's 2Oceans13 And I want to see your name tags SF Bay Area

What does that say? Pot plus chocolate? From Emily? That's the greatest name tag I've ever seen Pot and chocolate But we got Ghost Protocol Carl That's the greatest name tag I've ever seen. Pot and chocolate. But we got Ghost Protocol Carl. That's pretty awesome.

Sheila Wars. You guys, this is one of the best cities for name tags. Holy shit. There's some sort of cat back there. Is that an aristo cat? Logan's Run. Is your name Logan? Camilo. Or Run.

Yeah, right. What's your name? Camilo? Camilogan's Run. Okay. Alright. I'll go with you on that one. That's cool. Somebody's holding up a copy of Comedy Film Nerds. That's a

book, not a name tag, but if your name is Comedy Film or Nerd, or the, that's perfect. Carol Ann, is that your name, really? And she's got a light-up, crazy poltergeist poster. I'm impressed with that one, I gotta say. But there's a balloon. What does the balloon say on it? Jackie's Rockets? I don't know what that means.

Oh, you crossed out Johnny Rockets and changed it to Jackie's Rockets. Okay, okay. TC vs. The World. That's a Scott Pilgrim poster. I like it. Hello, my name is Bong. That got my attention.

That's pretty sweet. Bend it like Becca. What's that super high me one right there? Your name is Highest? You wrote super high of me? Put some joints in your mouth? I love it. That's great.

Okay, so put them away. And when the time comes, bring them out again. You know how it works. I don't have to explain it to you guys. Thank you to all of you for coming out. My album taping tomorrow night is sold out. We've got two sold out shows here at Cobb's

but there might be a few tickets left for tonight's Countdown to 420 show which will be completely different from this show so if you guys don't have anything else, if you're not sick of me after this, you can come back and see that if you want. Have you guys seen the greatest movie ever rolled? A few of you, that's about right.

Everyone can all see it at once, you know? It's got to have a trickle down economics. But you can download it from chill.com sometime before 420 Pacific time tomorrow because that is when, if you watch it, if you start it at 420

Pacific, 720 Eastern, some other times in Central and Mountain. If you start at that same time, you can follow along, and I'm going to live tweet Greatest Movie Ever Rolled and hashtag Gmer. So join me tomorrow. I mean, you might have something else to do at 420.

I don't know what your plans are, but I think getting high and watching a movie on your computer is a perfect way to start the afternoon. From the corrections department, it was all just a dream thing, is from the movie version of Wizard of Oz, and that didn't happen in the books, I'm told. Yeah, I haven't read any of the Oz books

because why would I? But I'm glad we cleared that up. I did five or six films with Five Second Films folks that you can see on YouTube and at fivesecondfilms.com. Most are 420 themes, so go ahead and enjoy those this 420 weekend. Now it's time for Not For Metaphobes. At Ian Manka and at PhoneBone37.

F-O-N-E Bone 37. Are you here? Holy shit. What's up, PhoneBone? How do you come up with a name like that, Phonebone? It's a comic book character? Named Phonebone? Okay.

37, so 36 people got to it before you did. You and Ian Manka both pointed out to me that Oblivion features a person waking up from a long sleep and then vomiting twice. That reminds me of when I saw The Hobbit and unexpected purging. Ladies, this has been Not For Metaphobes. I want to get the guests out here. And to do that, we have to investigate what's in the prize bag. It's a very heavy prize bag. So if you have a bad back, don't even try.

Just keep your name tag under your table and don't bring it out. Because this shit is crazy heavy. What do we have in here? We have a Douglas Movies t-shirt. A beautiful light blue. Adorable color. We have a book that I will tell you more about when the guest gets out here.

Oh, we have another book. Oh, shit. You guys are like, oh, prizes? Since when do prizes involve reading? Okay, how about this for a great prize? I got drunk in a bar last night and I stole a box of tiny black straws. I might even sign that for you.

There's a T-shirt that I can't say what's written on it. That'll give away who the guest is. And another t-shirt from that same guest. Oh, this is pretty cool. Somebody, when I was performing at Stand Up Live in Phoenix, drew a picture of me during the show and then gave it to me afterwards. And it creeped me the fuck out.

So I was like, I have to share that with somebody. And he also, he drew a picture of me and then he calls it Doug Benson in quotes. Like, allegedly Doug Benson. And his name on Twitter is at the L Wildo. W-I-L-D-O.

And that's the drawing that he made of me. Yeah, I look slightly insane. But it's also accurate. So, can't complain. My friends at Five Second Films gave me a nice glass

that says Five Second Films on it. And my friends at Bud Bongs, Bong Buds, I think it's Bong Buds, gave me a Doug Loves Movies Bong Bud, which is a, it's got, what do Gave me a Doug Loves Movies bong bud, which is a, it's got, what do you call it, magnets in it, and you can use it to attach your lighter to your bong. So that's pretty smart shit right there.

And what else? I told you it was a heavy bag. This is ridiculous. Oh, somebody gave me a nice dugout one-hitter contraption in a nice little bag, and I got plenty of those, so I'm going to pay that forward. And, oh, and this is good, too. A bumper sticker says,

Don't worry, be hempy, promoting HempFest in Seattle. It's coming up in August, and I'm going to try to attend that with the 80,000 other people that go to HempFest. That's everything that's in the prize bag. Please help me in giving a big, warm welcome to my friends,

N'Gayo Beelum, D.C. Pearson, and Graham Elwood. Hey guys Hey Doug Hello Hello Hello That's the The The

Most ladylike hello was from Graham Elwood, everybody. Graham Elwood is here. And he brought a copy of his very popular book, The Comedy Film Nerd's Guide to Movies. I wrote the foreword and lots of other

people, Greg Proops and Jackie Cation wrote chapters in the book. Yeah. There's 24 different genres of film that we talk about and we have the 10 best and 10 worst of each genre at the end of the chapter.

And I've only got a couple left with me to sell after the show, but you can get them at autographcopies at comedyfilmnerds.com. So check that out. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for your polite applause. I just flipped open

to a page. Ten worst comedy movies. Number one, an Alan Smith-y film, Burn Hollywood Burn. That was pretty awful. Number two, Freddy Got Fingered. Some people like that movie

is that why you guys moaned you're like that was so good that was the hook of comedies our friend Tom Green our boat friend Tom Green made that movie Graham I know he's a great boat person and then number three was North

that was pretty bad. Bruce Willis in a bunny costume. Number four, Leonard Part Six. Bill Cosby. I would have made that number six just for symmetry. Number five, Slapstick of Another Kind. Remember that? Jerry Lewis in a

Kurt Vonnegut novel adaptation. Yeah. That's some trippy shit. Gigli is number six. Anyway. There's some friends of mine in some of these other movies, so I'm not going to say them. Dishonorable mentions City Slickers 2, The Legend of Curly's Gold.

Take that, Curly. Wow. You're really going after some sacred cows when you go after movies with two in the title. Yeah, that's crazy. Every dishonorable mention is two or three or four in the title. Which means it's so hard to make a comedy sequel. That's right.

Yeah. It's hard to do. Don't do it, people of the Bay Area. What do your shirts say in Gaio? In Gaio Bielum, everybody. I have one that's from the first THC Expo in LA from 2009 that I found randomly in my closet. And then I have another one that says,

I've smoked weed with un gallo. Which I am a proud owner of that shirt and wear it on occasions where people might know who you are and respond to it. Yeah, whenever I get arrested, I throw on my I've smoked weed with un gallo shirt and all the cops are like,

un gallo's cool. Your bail is $2,008 million. $2,008 million. That's a weird figure. And then, so my friend John Ross found that I smoked weed with N'Gayo's shirt at a thrift shop in Sacramento.

I know, so I had to go buy it because I can't let that happen. So I'd rather just give it away. But it was to support the SPCA so they got my dollar. And DC Pearson is here, you guys. And

he had a little adventure today in his first visit to San Francisco. Yeah, continuing the theme of the prizes being things that people made and then had to go buy at a store despite having made them. I purchased that from the landmark City Lights bookstore here in San Francisco.

Way to support the locals, by the way. So it smells like beat poets. It's your... I thought that was you. It smells like beat poets. It's just kind of like B.O. and inspiration. Yeah, and like sexual confusion. Like it's not straight.

It will fuck you though. You'll fit right in here. It's your first of two YA novels. This one is actually just A. It's AA? Yeah. It's an AA novel. If you have a drinking problem, check out. It will sober you up

rapidly the way reading always does. The boy who couldn't sleep and never had to. Is he a vampire? No. I think vampires sleep, right? Just during the daytime. Yeah. Audience? The fucking Twilight ones don't sleep at all. Oh, really? Yeah during the daytime. Yeah. Audience? The fucking

Twilight ones don't sleep at all. Oh, really? Yeah, they have a bedroom that's just for fucking. Just for violent sex with a human person. That's the prize bag. That's our guests.

That's the prize bag. That's our guests. We're making it happen, San Francisco. So good to be back. Do it. Such a... I'm settling into my chair. I don't know why that's so funny. Just trying to relax.

You kind of looned the whole front row right there. With the mic stand, it felt like Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element. Comment? Comment? Why is that a diss? People are like, oh, shit. Don't make fun of The Fifth Element. That movie is fucking pure gold.

That movie is pure gold. Well, it is. What? As soon as Chris Tucker shows up. Yeah, it's not a terrible movie except for Chris Tucker's part. Is that terrible? I like that movie. I disagree.

I enjoy him. I think that's where media is going. Chris Tucker running around with a giant foam pompadour putting a mic in people's faces. Oh, could you imagine if he was right there when they caught that kid in Boston today? Super green. Did you that kid in Boston today? That's super green. Did you have fun in the boat? Are you a boat person? Do you enjoy nautical activities?

You're gonna love waterboarding. Oh. He's gonna get the shit waterboarded out of him Like even people that are anti-torture Gotta be like Well that kid probably Could use a little torture Just a taste

Just get some info out of him We don't need more of that stuff Just any info? Just like good restaurant recommendations? Yeah just yelp him That's all Yeah terrorist 19 year old What movies do you like right now? Any info? Just like good restaurant recommendations? Yeah, just yelp him. That's all. Yeah, terrorist 19-year-old, what movies do you like right now?

Movie 143? Oh, that's interesting. Movie 143? What's it called? Movie 43. Where was movie 143? I added 100 more stories to that movie. Movie 143. I love you too. The director's cut is called 143 movies.

It just felt like 143 movies. Did you see it? No. God, no. There aren't enough drugs in the world. Well, there might be. What have you seen lately? Yeah, I'm talking shit and I just went and saw G.I. Joe, The Retaliations.

It's got the Rock. Shut up. That's what you say after every movie you go to, right? It's got The Rock and it shut up. He's in everything lately. He's the Lou Gossett Jr. of 2013. He's in a lot of movies. So he's going to remake Enemy Mine? Everyone under 30 was like, Lou Gossett, what?

The kids are all about Lou Gossett, what? Take some. The kids are all about Lou Gossett III now, man. LG3. Nice. He plays for the Redskins, right? Yes. Did you like G.I. Joe Retaliation? I did enjoy G.I. Joe Retaliation.

3D? IMAX? 2D. 3D? IMAX? 2D. Three joints. That's 5D, brother. I take great delight in laughing inappropriately at G.I. Joe the Retaliation. The best scenes in that movie... I enjoyed it way more than anybody else.

The best scenes in that movie have none of the stars in them. It's when the ninjas are on the side of the mountain flying around. That's awesome. Bruce Willis isn't there. Channing Tatum isn't there. It's just some dudes flying around ninja style. It's the action scene.

It was pretty good action, actually. I really enjoyed it. Yeah. That part is cool. I saw that scene, got excited about the movie, watched the whole thing, wished I had just stuck with that one scene. Well, how many joints did you smoke? I... My thing is that there's not...

Like you said earlier, there's not... There's not enough marijuana to make a bad movie good. You know? There's... Tolerable, maybe. Well, did you go in expecting it to be... See, I went in expecting it to be bad, and so, therefore, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I fell for that shit where people are saying, it's better than G.I. Joe 1, which is like saying

it's better than a big piece of shit. It's just part of the trilogy. Like, it's a big piece of shit that somebody sprayed with Febreze. I just liked how faithful they were to the original children's toys. Which one is G.I.? Why are they all G.I. Joes?

How does that work? Like, why isn't there a guy who is G.I. Joe in a movie called G.I. Joe? That's a great question. Thank you very much. I don't have a comedic answer. They'll probably answer it in G.I. Joe 4. Whoa.

What about what happens in 3? They retaliate. Okay. Re-retaliate? The re-retaliation. The re-retaliate? The re-retaliation The re-retaliant job What have you seen This isn't Build-A-Title

What have you I'm warming up man What have you seen DC? Just so I could have I haven't seen a movie in so long That just so I could say something During this part of the show On the plane today

I watched a documentary called Glow Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, which I had heard was really good. I'm not really a wrestling fan, but I guess in the 80s and early 90s, there was a like all female like syndicated wrestling league on TV. It was just completely insane. And they interview a lot of women that were involved in it. And turns out, the creepiest thing to watch on a plane isn't pornography. It's a documentary featuring

mostly vintage clips of women beating the shit out of each other. Well, there's probably a lot of moments that just look like a fucking double 69 fantasy. Yeah, or there's a lot of moments that just look like the setups to porn because they would show those little in-between parts of wrestling

that are like the pre-taped bits or whatever where they're backstage. And so it would just be women in a locker room with teased out hair and hair bands and a guy would come in and be like, here's the pizza. And so as far as anyone is concerned who's looking over,

I'm just watching the boring interstitial parts of vintage pornography. That's what you get off on, all the like, hey, I didn't know it was raining or whatever, all that part of porn. It's about story for me. I like narrative, you know. I like Joseph Campbell, like traditional myth.

Exposition gets him hot. Yeah, exactly. And then I was like, oh, this is kind of a creepy thing to be watching on a plane. And then I realized that to get comfortable, I had undone my belt buckle on my pants. I'm not kidding. And then I realized that I had had a little,

because I was on a plane, a little nasal congestion, and I had a crumpled up Kleenex on the empty seat next to me. Were you sitting all by yourself? Did you have the whole aisle to yourself at that point? By the end of the flight, yes. Yeah, you don't need a partner

to get into the Mile High Club. It's a solo flight. That's what I'm saying. You can go to a movie by yourself. You can go to a concert by yourself. You can fuck on a plane by yourself. You can pretty much masturbate in any of these places by yourself. Yeah, exactly.

You can get a fleshlight through airport security. It works. That's a fact. Just don't put any weed in it. They'll just think that Sasha Baron Cohen is filming a new movie And be like we're not going to fall for this Let him through People got really offended by that

Did I tell you the slogan I came up with For Fleshlights Fuck those things Death Squad powerful son And Grandma Wood is here Hello Death Squad powerful, son. And Grandma Wood is here. Hello, San Francisco. Wow, with his terrible, terrible accent.

Hello. That's my San Francisco accent. San Francisco accent. I'm from the Bay Area, I am. Have you had some of that rice-a-roni? Hello, it's a San Francisco treat it is. Grew up in Chinatown. The opening sequence of Full House it is.

Everywhere you look. Everywhere. Governor. Governor. Hello. What have you seen lately, Graham? I saw 42, which I really liked. Yeah, it was a good movie. I like Harrison Ford.

He's a good Branch Rickey. I did like him a lot in that. Some people said he was distracting. It was like a star turn or whatever. Did you keep wanting to yell, Indy, look out! You throw me the idol. That's what I'm going to do. You throw me the idol.

I'll throw you the whip. That's right. When I go see the movie Every time he shows up on screen I'm just gonna go Junior Or how about No time for love

Dr. Ricky Yeah every time he says something Just go Okie dokie Dr. Jones You call this Baseball archaeology No? Alright

Is this where it all stops Right there Alright All I wanna know Is when he first meets Jackie Robinson Does Jackie Robinson go No? Alright. Is this where it all stops? Right there? Alright. All I want to know is when he first meets Jackie Robinson, does Jackie Robinson go, How you doing, you old pirate? That's for big fans of Empire Strikes Back.

And Lando Calrissian. Yeah. That's a Lando Calrissian reference. Jackie Robinson double-crosses Han Solo in 42. Jackie Robinson double crosses Han Solo in 42. The first ball Jackie Robinson hit for a home run. It belongs in a museum.

You were just watching baseball backstage. You actually think watching baseball backstage. I were. You actually think it's interesting. Yes. You guys are getting way too offended for no reason. You guys realize that? They're just trying to start a fight.

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. It's like a high school lunchroom. Whoa, you're going to fucking take that, bro? You can find him. They're excited to participate. What's up, balcony? Guy in the front row yells. I know the balcony.

I've been on a balcony. Been there, done that. I was Juliet in a high school production of Romeo and Juliet. You don't look that old. You guys excited about... What summer movies are you excited about, Graham? Oh, there's so many.

I'm excited about Iron Man 3. I'm cautiously optimistic about Superman. Lloyd, Superman. Superman, Iron Man. Support the visual effects artist And wait one week to see Superman Alright They know

Because we're near Marin Wait one week I can wait two If it'll help If you wait two then that might I still think it should be successful But there should be a demarcation, like, oh, that first weekend

wasn't that great because Doug Benson told people to not go. I thought we were not trying to scare the movie by not being too clingy or desperate or whatever. Dude, you gotta wait one week before you can see the movie, bro. Don't scare Superman away. That's true of all blockbusters, I think.

You should probably just wait one week. Dude, blockbusters have people trying to see them all the time. You don't want to be the guy that's going to go in the first night. Why call a blockbuster the next day after you've had sex with it? Give it some time. How do you watch a movie, Doug? What do you mean? You had sex with it?

I wish. There's so many summer blockbusters. Spring break. But they turn out to be... People were offended by you quoting Spring Breaker. The four people who saw it. You guys are going to burn through your being offended quota for the show. And we have so much great Nazi material coming.

That's funny. What about you, DC? Is there a summer movie you're looking forward to? I think I'm most excited for the film Pacific Rim. Oh! Is that a porn? The Guillermo del Toro directed... I can't wait for it just because every time I mention it,

I'm going to call it Pacific Rim Job. And I'm going to have a lot of fun with that. Yeah, this isn't Build-A-Title. But it does look... Yeah, it's giant robots. There's a movie called Rim Job. Yeah, it stars Burt Reynolds and... That mustache. Lonnie Anderson. Lonnie Anderson. Yeah, it's a very Reynolds and... That mustache.

Lonnie Anderson. Yeah, it's a very good movie. Dom DeLuise. He laughs through every take. Every time he gets a rim job, he's like, it's funny. It's so funny. But yeah, it looks really neat. It's about giant monsters

being in a war with giant human robots. World War Z looks awesome too, man. That's crazy. What? Zombie purists have some issues with that one. Some people want their zombies to move slow

and to not create piles that they use to climb up onto the top of the hill. It's based on a book and that's part of the disease or virus that it has to do with. And zombie purists, if they're going to do that... Yeah, it's a completely different world. If zombie purists are going to do that, then they just need to say, I'm only

down with George Romero, like, rising from the dead, coming out of a grave and just fucking capping it. You mean the man himself, George Romero? Yes, he's a zombie. He's real and he's gonna come back to life no 28 days later zombies you don't like those zombies no no no

you didn't listen no we're just discussing like I enjoy all form of zombies so do I and I said the zombie purists that don't like that should

should just go with the ones coming where do you guys stand on Rob Zombie I think I wish I could stand on Rob Zombie? I think... I wish I could stand on his throat. I don't know why you guys didn't groan that.

That was uncharacteristically mean. He's got a new movie, Lords of Salem, coming out. This weekend? This weekend? Sounds terrifying. There was no big movies wanting to go up against Oblivion this weekend. Or weekend? Sounds terrifying. Nothing. There was no big movies wanting to go

up against Oblivion this weekend. Or 420. Everybody's going to be in the park. Dude, no one's going to a movie. I'm just pitching

an Avengers style movie where the Lords of Salem have to fight the Lords of Dogtown. Oh, wait a minute, bro. That's a skateboard

movie. Hey, can the Lords of Flatbush referee? Yes. That's awesome. Man, I'm old. They have the flattest bush. Just a kid in play style high top fadeaway. Just flat.

Such a flatbush. House party? They just call it comingush. House party? They just call it coming to my house party? Next question. Bachelor number one. And guy number one. You've lived in San Francisco

for many, many years. Mission High, 85. Someone in the audience went, what? Do they let black people into that school? It's blacks and Latinos. Where did you go to school? It's Blatino. Blatino.

Negro Pinos are also there. Latino? Latino. Negro pinos are also there. Do you have a movie that you enjoy that is set in San Francisco? 48 Hours. Yes. Even though the black bars in the Mission District are quoting them.

Right? I'm at Ronin's. It's a black club in the Mission District. What? And where is the country western bar's. It's a black club in the Mission District. What? And where is the country western bar here? That's a good question. The Eagle? They wear a lot of leather.

It's not really a country. The western bar. The stud. The stud. That is a great movie. I dare say Eddie Murphy's best movie and also the movie of his that holds up the best. Boomerang's pretty good still.

Boomerang? Marcus. Boomerang is like early Tyler Perry. That movie's hilarious. Fuck off. That movie's comedy. You got to coordinate. They got some hot ladies in that one, right?

Robin Givens and Eartha Kent. They got some hot old ladies in that movie. And Grace Jones. Oh, shit. Stranger. Stranger, everybody. What about you, DC?

Do you have a favorite San Francisco set motion picture? I'm going to say Vertigo. I thought you would. Because I went to liberal arts school, y'all. It is really good. Yeah, and that's an iconic moment when you can see James Stewart

holding her next to the Golden Gate Bridge. Yeah, and you can tell they actually shot it outside in an actual city, which they don't do anymore, really. And when they do shot it outside in an actual city, which they don't do anymore, really. And when they do, it's always Toronto or something. Yeah, Toronto is passed off for San Francisco all the time. And L.A. and New York. Toronto's every city like Chaka Khan is every moment.

Yeah, Toronto's. Yes, it's the Chaka Khan of cities. It's the Chaka Khan of cities. Let it rock you you I feel for you Toronto I'm gonna love you Toronto let me rock you Let me rock you

Toronto Graham do you have one? Well there's a series of movies about a civil servant By the name of Inspector Harry Callahan. Oh! Those movies are all terrible. Oh, you're so dumb! Dirty Harry has a big gun

and he takes care of fucking business. That's how it goes down, friend. What's your favorite one of those? He doesn't care about anyone's rights. You pussy. Fascist. Yeah, it's rights. You pussy. Fascist. It's beautiful what he does. I like Dirty Harry. I like

Magnum Force. Did you see Dirty Harry and the chair? Dirty Cherry? Did you see Dirty Cherry? I wish Twitter had a time machine. Yeah, right? If I could go back a while to the convention and make that joke, that would have been pretty good. It's too late now, though.

Just make that joke and hashtag it retro tweets and you're good. Just do it on Throwback Thursday. Yeah, Throwback Thursday. There you go. All my tweets are vintage, artisanal tweets. Sustainable. Homegrown, sustainable. Farm to table.

Local vore, locavore tweets. Gluten free. They fell out of somebody's beard. Hopefully yours. Whatever, man. If you have a decent car chase in a movie, you've got to set it in San Francisco. And my

favorite one that involved not just cars, but also a delivery bicycle and a Chinese dragon is a movie called What's Up, Doc? Yeah. Barbra Streisand? Yeah. Barbra Streisand, Ryan O'Neal.

Directed by Peter Bogdanovich. It's a really, really funny movie. I saw it when I was a kid, and I loved it, and I've loved it ever since. But the use of San Francisco and the fact that you can really get good air driving fast around here, it's pretty amazing. I feel like the San Francisco fruit cart

vendor community still hasn't recovered from the rock. To say nothing of the glass pane carriers union. Those guys work it hardest. You guys. Streets of San Francisco, man. Went through some hard times, those guys. There was 12 seasons. Seems like old times.

Was also shot in San Francisco, was it not? Goldie Hawn, Chevy Chase. Cyril Magnin plays the conductor? Yeah, I went on the internet today and the number of movies that take place in San Francisco is like rivals. It's like New York, San Francisco, maybe LA. There's a lot of movies here.

Sure. Eddie Murphy played a hostage negotiator up here one time. There you go. Metro. Tom Selleck had to kill someone in prison. Eddie Murphy played a hostage negotiator up here one time. Metro. There you go. Metro. Oh, no. Tom Selleck had to kill someone in prison. And I believe it was a stand tall.

He took place up here. What are you saying? Tom Selleck? Yeah. Stand tall? Maverick. Do you mean walking tall? No.

No, that's not Tom Selleck. We're all thinking of Stand and Deliver, you guys. No, he was in a prison movie and it was the same name as the Billy Joel song. Innocent Man. Innocent Man, that's right. The Downeaster Alexa. I am an innocent man. Yeah.

I'll rock out some more Billy Joel for you guys if that's what you're into. Pressure! Uptown girl. You had to be a big shot, didn't you? Mm-hmm. I love you just the way you are.

So, leave a tender moment alone. Can you just sing us a song, Piano Man? Can you just do that? Just sing us one song tonight? We're just all in the mood for melody, so... Did you guys know that the Billy Joel song,

The River of Dreams, accurately summarizes the movie Inception? No. What? No fucking way. It doesn't really, but I don't... Everyone had such an amazed reaction to that No fucking way. It doesn't really, but I don't want to... Everyone had such an amazed reaction to that

that I wish I would have just let it hang there. People are like, holy shit, it does. Everybody's trying to remember the lyrics. I'm like, shit, that's the one I didn't like. Oh, yeah, and then he's like, the top falls down. There's a snowmobile chase. In the snowmobile chase. In the snowmobile, I go snowmobiling.

Oh, I was coming in. But seriously, we didn't start the fire. I'm all right. Oh, that's Kenny Loggins. Damn it. This is the... Kenny Loggins! Yeah.

Fucking jump over to Caddyshack if you need to. Fuck. Don't gotta worry about me. I don't think the heavy stuff's gonna be coming out for quite some time So It's a Caddyshack line motherfuckers Don't stone face me Cause you weren't on board with the switch

Do not stone face him He will not count as stone facing Who do you think he is? Minerva? Is that the one that No Medusa Minerva That's a fucking... Oh, no! You dug deep. Doug, are you a

mythology professor? And that Greek god Zachary. Remember Zachary and Minerva from the old... Tito. I think there was a Tito. There was a god Tito. My favorite Greek god is Bill. Because he's sitting on Capitol Hill. Majesty.

This is the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. Take control, San Francisco. Take control. Someone just asked me to whistle. Are you sure, sir? Do not. Please do not encourage him to do that.

Let's... It'll happen at some point. Do you think on the next Weird Al album we can look forward to a Jane's Addiction, Jane Says parody called Bane Says? Bane says, I'm done with Sergio. He treats me like a rag doll.

I've been caught stealing once when I was five. I am Perry Farrell's reckoning. It took me years to figure out, and I still don't entirely get it, that he named himself Peripheral. Yeah. That's where Perry Peril comes from.

Yeah. Because he's got vision, man. And his vision is, ah, you can take or leave me. I'm Peripheral. But let's see those name tags, everybody. Let's pick out some name tags. There's some really good ones today,

so who do you guys want to play for? All the guests are going in. And Gaio's really running out there, making it exciting. I'm going to vine you guys a little bit oh what do you got there DC oh you see went after the poltergeist why is poster Carol Ann don't go into the light. That's pretty sweet. Here, hold it up and let me get a picture of you with it.

Because that's pretty nice. That's really nice. Good job. What's her name? What's her name? Carol Ann, of course. You are Carol Ann? That's awesome.

That's so cool. I'll give it a shot of you and yours. Whoa. I don't know why you got that kid. That's awesome I'll give it a shot at you and yours How about a round of applause For all these amazing name tags You guys make it so hard to pick Good job, everybody. I'm very proud of you. The first game we're going to play to determine if

Kate Royston... You guys, I just dropped my name tag and someone screamed in the audience like I drop-kicked a baby from a balcony. Oh my God! Graham, why did you drop their baby?

Graham, why do you hate babies? Guys, it's just a thing that was on the tape that fell. No one's hurt. It's okay, San Francisco. It's okay. Nothing bad happened, you guys. It's all right. As long as they fell off of there, give me those pieces.

There you go. For the listener at home, there's Reese's Pieces taped onto an E.T. And it's a girl whose initials are K.T., all right? E.T. is in the back trying not to relapse. Nah, man, I don't need it, baby. It's cool. I don't need Reese's Pieces, man. Doug is now throwing Reese's Pieces into the audience. That's how we get ants.

Sorry, Dad. Can we close the door and not heat the whole city of San Francisco, please? Here, pass these around. I decide it's rude to throw them at people. Those are the ones you dipped in PCP, right? But Kate's poster for It's Complicated has me and her in bed together. And I'm very happy you're part of a love triangle. I'm very happy about what I've done.

Like, that's the face I make when I come right away. And she's like, what? Why did you... You just, like, scream laughing. If you knew how to take deep breaths and think about baseball. So in that photo, she went, wow, Doug, that was kind of quick. And you just went, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Quick is what I do.

Doug Branson, the quickening. Yeah. You just downloaded Quicken. It just occurred to me. Nice taxi joke. Would you call Bane's... Ah, fuck it. Never mind.

I had a joke. It got stuck. It'll come back. I'll wait again. Let us know when it's unstuck. Bane's affliction was the punchline. Yeah. Get to it your own self.

Write your own joke. You can do it. You're all very smart. DC is playing for Carol Ann. With her. She had to do... She You can do it. You're all very smart. DC is playing for Carol Ann with her. She had to do wiring. Blinking poltergeist themed

poster. She has the poltergeist poster and then the TV that Carol Ann is sitting in front of. She actually put like little lights in

and it's blinking. It's really cool. Yeah. And I just want to say that I would have picked Camilo if he would have had a poster for Camilo down Dirty Shame. I wanted Milo and Otis,

but I couldn't find my copy of Milo. Camilo and Otis. You did Logan's run. That was pretty cool. Thank you. Renew! Yes! Your name tag was amongst the best

that weren't chosen. Dishonorable mention. Congratulations. And Graham Elwood's name tag. Yeah, yeah. And Graham is playing... Are you still talking audience, guys? Graham. Jesus.

Sweet and Logan. Sweet and Logan. Um... Sweet and Logan. Lie, Logan, and Stitch. I could do this all day. But it's time to play some games. Yeah. It's time to get serious. We're gonna start with ABCD's Nuts.

Yeah. And this is the 420 edition whoa we're gonna start with you and guy oh and then we'll go to DC and then Graham and we are going to spell out 420 in movie titles I'm about to sneeze. And we're starting with you, Gaio. Wow, you're like the Tupac of sneezes, man. You predicted your own sneeze. It was a biggie. Oh! Doug Benson.

Doug Benson, you guys. Have a good night. We'll see you guys later Thanks for coming I'll see you guys later That's how every stand up shit in there said Well I'll see you guys later What do you guys do? That didn't go how I expected it I'll catch you some other time

Well that's me saying I'm going to stop being a comedian and become a civilian Is that after you make the quick cum face? What? All right, fuck it. Never mind. That's my timing. I'll just stop talking. All right, Ngayo. I'll just mime the rest of mine. No, we're going to need words from you.

You are the letter F. You just have to name any movie that begins with the letter F, and if you match the movie I wrote down ahead of time, then you win automatically. 420 edition? Friday. Oh, that's... Nicely played.

Come on, Craig! Big girls need love too, Craig. So now I have to do one that starts with O? You're gonna hang on a second. Oh, yep. Don't get ahead of me. We have an audience sneezer. Hold your horses. I chose

Foul Play, which takes place in San Francisco. And has a great car chase. Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn? Dudley Moore. That's right. O is your letter, DC. Oblivion. In theaters now.

But I chose One Night at McCool's because it takes place in St. Louis where I will be on May 4th. Wow. That's for the McCool's. At the Firebird on Cuatro de Mayo.

Graham, your letter is U. U571. Oh, because I will be doing shows on a U-boat this summer. You said that like the movie phone guy. The movie. If you want to watch me on a U-boat, Breswan. I will not do comedy on a boat. I will not do it on a moat.

I went with Under Siege 2, Dark Territory, which was filmed in the city of Colorado, state of Denver, where I will be on Mother's Day, May 12th. It'll be a great show. Always forget to check his calendar before the show. Arr, Gaio. Rope.

Nice, nice. He got me all Hitchcockians. Good R. Get off my Hitchcocks. I went with Requiem for a Dream because that was shot

in New York City where I'll be on May 20th. See what I'm talking about. And I'll be paid in heroin. May 20th and July 1st. T, DC.

Talladega Nights, The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. That's the exact title. I've never seen people more impressed by someone naming a movie that begins with the letter T. Fuck science, man. I'm impressed by people naming movies.

He could have chose the anything. And I went with Time After Time, which was set in San Francisco. W, Graham. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Another favorite of mine, but I went with What's Up, Doc? because I just mentioned it a while ago.

And it's set in San Francisco. E in Gaio. Eraserhead. You guys are so supportive. San Francisco. Applauding every answer. I went with escape. Should they be judgmental?

Like, oh, Jesus, really? The random movie you picked out of your head? That one? That's the one you picked? They shouldn't do that or applaud. They should just sit there. That's my opinion. Yeah, yeah. Stop applauding and having fun, you assholes.

Just sit there. I forgot how fun applauding is. I didn't know that was key. Escape from Alcatraz. Clint Eastwood? Which, of course, is set in Salt Lake City. N is the next letter to D.C. Nashville.

Where Doug will be performing. Will you really? I will be there on May 27th and 28th. 26th and 27th. 26th and 27th. Yeah. But I went with Nine Months, which, of course, is set in San Francisco.

I'm in that. What? I'm in that for four seconds. Please watch it. I need the nickel. Do you play the baby? I'm Sean's friend number one. Oh, I was going to guess that you played the baby.

Who is Sean? Is that? Jeff Goldblum. Oh, okay. I was going to say, you're not Hugh Grant's friend. No. There's no way that would happen. What?

Because I'm not an African-American hooker. Yeah, Jeff Goldblum, though, he's down. Well, we were all acting. I don't really know these people. But that's awesome. Which are you in longer, Super Jaime or Nine Months? Ooh. About the same, right?

Probably about five seconds both times. I'm Mr. Five Second Film Guy. I'm in some five second films. That's just your porn career. Dot com. TDC. I'm sorry.

Graham. The Presidio. Ooh. I totally should have picked that. The Presidio. I totally should have picked that. The Presidio. I can't give that order. That was a good try, Graham. I went with the call because I'm going to be interrupting it

at Cinefamily in Los Angeles on May 22nd. God damn it. And one more letter, Y. Y indeed, sir. Because we like it, yeah. And Gai, what do you got for Y? I have the movie

known that I will reveal to you. Three seconds. Any minute now. Two, one. Yesterday. That's a movie, right? If that is a movie, it's about someone dying of cancer. It's a movie, right?

It's a day. I had an answer yesterday, but my tesseract broke. All right. So I lose that game? What do you say for why, DC? There's no really winning or losing. It's just losing.

We're all winners. I'm going to say young at heart. What is just... It's just losing. We're all winners. I'm gonna say Young at Heart. What is that? I don't know. Graham, this is yours to steal. You're gonna win this game if you can come up with any movie that begins with the letter Y

in three seconds. Two. One. Yellow Submarine. He did it! He's the best. And you came so close to matching me because I went with yellow-faced tiger. I know.

I don't know what it is either, but it's set in San Francisco. And that is ABCD's Nuts, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Hey! Holy shit! Yeah, Graham gets to go first And that is ABCD's Nuts, ladies and gentlemen. Hi. Oh, shit. Yeah, Graham gets to go first in the next game

because he did that. He did that. Because he's the only person on the panel who knows a movie that begins with Y. Man, shouts out to You've Got Mail, which I didn't think of until just now. One of the best appearances of AOL in a film. AOL was great in that.

R.I.P. They kind of didn't really do much after that. Here's the thing. Facebook is kind of the AOL right now. They're doing all the same type of shit. What? Really think about it. I don't want to take the time to think about it.

Don't think about it now. We're doing a show, but I'm saying. Okay. When you get home, smoke a joint and think about it. I don't want to take the time to think about it. Well, don't think about it now. We're doing a show, but I'm saying. Okay. When you get home, smoke a joint and think about it. I'm gonna kick tomorrow. Bane's addiction? Wow, you guys are so fucking stoned. Bane's affliction. You're so stoned you forgot that riff from 10 minutes ago. That's so great.

I am skin and bones. I am pointy nose. Now you're just describing peripheral? Yeah, it's from the song. This game is called Build the Title. Had to pick a movie that takes place in San Francisco, or at least part of it. And so, Graham Elwood, you need to add to the title

A View to a Kill, where the Golden Gate Bridge was featured prominently as Christopher Walken fought the oldest James Bond ever, and Grace Jones stopped by and was like, I'm a flying squirrel. What? How'd that go again? It's just a recap of View to a Kill.

And Duran Duran sang the theme song. View to a killing me softly. Hello. Someone in the audience went, eh. What? That was too much of a stretch adding ing.

The Brad Pitt one? It's killing them softly. Well, we're all in it together. Fair enough. Alright, so Graham's out. I'm a dick. That's what I said. I said killing them softly. And then we go to DC.

What do you got? Parallax view to... Yeah! Alright, so N'Gayo, you need something that ends in parallax or begins with kill. Parallax view to a kill or be killed.

It's an old karate movie from the 70s. I fucking love that movie. I've seen it more than once. All right, DC, what are you going to do with that? We've got Parallax View to a Kill or Be Killed. Can I use the D sound at the end of Killed? Depends on how you use it. Okay.

I have a good feeling about Ngaio winning this. Because I don't know what you're going to do with the D sound. Right. Can't say Django. No, you can't. That's the whole point

of the movie. Shit. What about... That's the whole point. The whole point of the movie is that the D is silent. That's what you're taking away. That's the whole point. The whole point of the movie is that the D is silent. I'm glad that's what you're taking away. That's the whole takeaway.

That entire fucking epic is that the D is silent. The D is silent. Kevin Spacey doesn't really have a limp. Yeah, Schindler's List was all about that one ring. Don't moan that because you think you should. ring. Don't moan that because you think you should. Man, Doug, I'm going to parallax view to a kill or be

killed. I got nothing. I have nothing, Doug. I'm sorry. I wanted to try so bad. I couldn't even come up with a joke answer. I'm sorry. I failed you, Doug. You don't have to apologize. No. For being shitty at this. I know. I wanted to be good. I fucked

myself a parallax view. You did. You chopped off the whole train. That came back like the movie and the object boomerang. Too clever by Hoff, sir. Yeah, it comes back to get you. So who just won this? I am the winner. I am the winner.

I am the winner. Parallax View to a Kill or Be Killed. One of the shorter titles we've had. But everyone gave their all. It's a good movie. It's got kung fu, science fiction. The spies are in it.

Who stars in it? In Parallax View to a Kill or Be Killed? Just the kill or Tim Dalton. Some random white guy kung fu star whose name escapes me because I was eight. There was a sequel too, though. Was it Jim Kelly? No, no.

Jim Kelly's black. He was Black Belt Jones. Black Belt Jones is awesome. Black Belt Jones is awesome. Scatman Crothers Dojo is about to be taken over by the mob. That's right. Guess what? Jim Kelly's gonna take care of some shit. How's that sound?

Here's my favorite line. That son of a bitch is throwing panties in my face? In the car chase scene, he throws some girl's panties out the window and it lands on the front row of the guy chasing him

and there's paint and you have to see it. Opening scene, he jumps over a fence all slow-mo, bionic man style like... This big ass fro and just starts

fucking beating guys who come out of a Lincoln. Oh, it's the best thing you've ever seen. And he beats up like three cops which in the 70s black people never

beat up cops. That was awesome. And Scatman Crothers hot niece that he throws down with that she's like all sexy and she's a badass martial artist.

He throws down with his hot niece? Scatman Crothers hot niece. Jim Kelly has sex with Scatman's niece. Jim Kelly doesn't have down with his hot niece? Scatman Crothers' hot niece. Jim Kelly has sex with Scatman's niece. Jim Kelly doesn't have sex with Scatman and Scatman doesn't have sex with his niece. Jim Kelly has sex with Scatman's niece.

And she takes her shoes off before she fights. That's right, she does. She puts them on before she fucks. Scatman's niece coming to theaters this weekend. And then German people are like, ah, so there was no shitting in it. He's called Scatman, yet no shit. It is not what I expected at all.

What does he fuck? Germans are stupid. Yeah, right? And they like poop and they're porn. All right, you guys. We can edit that out. Somebody just, no, there's no editing. It's all going out there.

Leave it all in. But who won that game? Ungayo. I just like hearing you say it. We're all winners, though. Ungayo. Ungayo. Is our winner, and that means you get to go first in the Leonard Maltin game.

Now it's for real. Leonard Maltin game. Now the joking around's over. The Leonard Maltin game. 419 edition. You get to pick the first category. First player to two is going to win and win on behalf of

a guy who's playing for Kate and DC's playing for Carol Ann and Graham's playing for Reese's Monkey. Yes. Reese's Monkey. KT. KT.

KT, the extraterrestrial. KT. N'Gayo, pick a category, please, from the following options. Would you like... Oh, wait, I've got to finish this vine. What should I say? What's been, like, the catchphrase of the night?

What's been the thing that everybody will remember from tonight? Bane's addiction. Bane's addiction, that's right. That's all I'm going to write, so that's not going to make any sense to anyone who hasn't heard this yet. Bane's addiction.'s all I'm gonna write So that's not gonna make any sense to anyone who hasn't heard this yet Bane's addiction Turn and smile Boom

Are you trying to make a vine, Graham? Because every time you make a vine it doesn't work I'm tweeting the photo Fuck stick But you told me that vine doesn't work for you Right, that's why I'm tweeting a photo and not making a Vine. This is like the worst Who's On First ever.

It's like, Who's On First 2.0? Now for the digital age. Who's On First Silicon Valley edition. All right, you get to pick a category. Would you like... Which one of these would you enjoy to play? Would you pick... I got so many.

Yellow Submarine. I got so many categories right now. It's ridiculous how many I have. Let's start with at Broadcast Boy suggested may the odds be forever in your flavor.

And that's movies that have a food in the title. Or at Varkentine, like Valentine, but Varkentine, suggested 7-Eleven, and that's movies with 7 to 11 words in the title. And at Mr. Underscore the hurt fucker and that's movies where Ben Stiller gets injured oh did you guys see the fuckers because their last name sounds like a dirty word

did you get that joke for those three fucking movies? No. I think the prequels are going to be good, though. You mean those three fucking movies? Oh, God. Saga. You little Fockers. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Get it?

No. No, I don't. I don't get it. Which one of those categories appeals to you the most in Gaio? Well, I was kind of interested in the 7-11 one just for excitement, but everybody got all excited about the Fockers. So let's go... That's a good idea. That's how you should

play based on what the audience likes. It's a good strategy. I'm a pleaser. Okay. It's probably the easier category, too. Fucking who can remember 7 and 11 words? I couldn't remember the goddamn long kiss goodnight last time I was here. How can I fucking...

That's under seven words. Right, that's my point. Leonard Maltin gives this movie where Ben Stiller gets injured two stars. The year is 1998. He says that this movie drags on

and he also says that he says that Ben Stiller is involved in a painful accident and some people in the audience probably know it already but Leonard lists ten names.

How many names do you think it would take you to guess this movie in Gaio? Six. That's a strong opening bid. We'll go to Graham next. Five. He says five, DC. I just got to go there, Doug.

I think I can name it in negative two names. Oh! Impressive. Please do, sir. Please do. Dick Captain Pearson stepping up to the plate. Way to go, Dick Captain. The movie is Parallax View to a Killer Be Killed.

Stars Scatman Crothers. No, the movie... Hang on a second. Gotta build up the suspense game show style. So when Guy said name it, you gotta name the movie and then the top two

build people in the movie in the correct order according to Leonard. So give me all of it. I'm not going to tell you if any of it's right or wrong. You just have to lay it all out there. I'm going to go ahead and say that the movie is There's Something About Mary. The top credited

actor I believe would be Ben Stiller and the second credited actor I'm going to say is Cameron Diaz. People support that play And the movie of course is There's Something About Mary And according to Leonard The top billed performer is Cameron Diaz

Mary! And the second billed person is Matt Dillon What? Yeah you really fucked that one up. You fucked that one up big time. More like Leonard part dicks. So Ungayo is on the board with one point. Let's sign.

Graham gets to pick the next category. Alright. Fizzlamic. Graham, would you like Selma and Louise? Salma and Louise. And that's movies that have Selma Hayek, Louise Guzman, or both. The panel is enjoying that one.

At 70 Meters suggested greatest movie ever bowled. And that's movies that have bowling in them. And someone else suggested greatest movie ever rolled. And that's movies that are adaptations of Roald Dahl books or stories. I was hoping it was greatest movies ever

to feature the act of rolling, because that's obviously roll bounce. Roll bounce is great, but I also think that I have problems. Because when that movie's on TV, I'll just watch the shit out of it. It's your Goodfellas. I'm like, look at him roll.

Look at him bounce. Which one would you like to play? I'll go the Selma and Louise Guzman movie. All right, this movie has Selma Hayek, Louise Guzman, or both. It's three stars from Leonard. The year is 2000. Leonard calls this movie absorbing.

Keep in mind, that's also how he describes a particular paper towel. I'm glad you said paper towel. Expanded the amount of things he's reviewing beyond film. He also says... Well, that's like his product placement now. He'll throw that in there.

This movie will clean up your afternoon like tide. This polydent was gripping. He says that the director of this movie also photographed the movie, but used a pseudonym as the photographer of the film. Yeah. And I'm going to give you another clue.

Selma Hayek is in it but appears unbilled. So you will not hear her name out of the... 20 names. 20 names that are listed by Leonard. What year was it again? The year is...

The 1800s. Ah, barely, sir. 2000. 2000. Don't yell out. Somebody said General Custard. Graham, how many names do you think you can get it in?

And then we will... From you, we will go to Who challenged last time? Ngaio Okay, I'll go with 15 names That's nice Five off of there Five says Ngaio What's DC going to do about that?

Zero names, Doug Alright, name that shit Good players What's DC going to do about that? Zero names, Doug. Whoa! All right. Name that shit. Good players. Name that movie. All right. Do you want all the clues and stuff again, DC? No, I think I'm just going to try,

because if it's not this, I don't know what it is, which is kind of the point of guessing things. That's excellent. Yeah, I'm going to break it down for you guys. Doug, I got to say that the movie is Traffic. Traffic is correct. Oh! That's nice.

The big clue was Steven Soderbergh shot and directed it. That's the one that gave it away. Yeah, right? His pseudonym was Kanye West. So that means we're going to start with Ungayo and then go to Graham. The pseudonym was Kanye West. Kanye West, yes. So that means we're going to start with N'Gayo and then go to Graham. And N'Gayo gets to choose a category. Would you like...

Paul Lindelblok. Oh, good. We have four people here that are over 50. That's all right. Circle gets the square. Circle gets the square. That's right, sir. Would you

like to play Take Control of Your City? And that's movies that have a mayoral race in them. Or at YoYoDine Inc. suggested Are We There Yet? And that's movies that take place in Russia. or at YoYoDine Inc. suggested, are we there yet?

And that's movies that take place in Russia. I know, kind of bad timing. John Big Booty. John Big Booty. Big Booty. Or at Sperms, or Spearms, suggested,

back to the Fuhrer. And that's World War II movies. Back to the Fuhrer. And that's World War II movies. Back to the Fuhrer. Stop. World War II is extremely political choices. Mayor races, or what was the other one? Russia. Russia.

Russia, World War II, or mayoral race? World War II. Okay. This World War II movie came out in 2001. Two and a half stars from Leonard. This is a German-British-Irish-U.S. co-production. Yeah, German-British-Irish-U.S. A lot of cooks in that kitchen.

And they says it's a movie about a Russian sharpshooter. So Russia just creeps into every category tonight. And he says it's an interesting story diminished by a silly romantic subplot. Yeah. And he lists nine names. Eight names. You'll see there's a tricky one at the end

where somebody had three names and I thought it was two different names. Eight names. Ke'll see, there's a tricky one at the end where somebody had three names and I thought it was two different names. Keenan Ivorylands. Lowdown Dirty Champagne. Eight names. Lungayo. Yeah, eight names. Smart opening bid.

Who challenged last? Graham did, so we go to Graham. Do it. Do it. Do it, Graham. Make it happen. Say a number. Are you still with us? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spring, bright. Make some noises while you're... Why is... What's so hard? What's the problem? I know everything about this movie except the title. Long Kiss Goodnight.

It's not the Long Kiss Goodnight, but pass it along. You know what I mean? Fuck. All right. Six names. Yeah, there you go. God damn it.

DC? Zero names, Doug. Are you fucking kidding me? Nope. God. Fucking name it. Ass. I think N'Gayo

just won. Doug, the film is Enemy at the Gates. That's correct. D.C. Pearson. And Harris and Ralph Fiennes are in it. God damn it. I just saw this title come across my Netflix queue. Oh, it starts out so Oh, it's so...

It starts out so great, it's so dumb. God damn it. Graham, it's Joseph Fiennes, not Rafe Fiennes, baby. No. It's Joe and Rafe. Really? Yeah. Did they fuck? Yeah. There's a three-way scene in Stalingrad as they're on their train. I think you're thinking of One Fine

Day. I'm so sorry, KT. I have let you down. I'm gonna kill myself. No, no, it's a cool thing. It's a samurai thing. It's honorable. It's good. Did KT ride a shithead on the back of that? Yes, she did. Could you bring that over to me?

Yes, I will. And I'm gonna get more Reese's. I'm excited. Oh, that's an interesting shithead. And is there a shithead on the back of yours? I didn't see a shithead. Is there a shithead on the back of this one, Kate? No. Okay, Kate, come up here and write one for me.

Where's Kate at? She's way up in the balcony. We got to get a shithead from you. We don't need a shithead from Carol Ann because she's the winner. Yay, Carol Ann! Yeah, Carol Ann, come up here and get your prize bag. Where is it?

It's on the floor right there. Oh, thank you, N'Gayo. He's going to hook her up with the prize bag. Congratulations, Carol Ann. Great sign. That's one of the better signs I've seen. Carol Ann! That's called

Doug Loves Movies Justice. Sorry, Kate, I tried. I didn't know the movie. Nice catch, Kate. Kate caught that pen like it was a bouquet. Just jotting it. Oh, wait, was this

in the back seat? She's jotting it down. Oh, yeah, don't forget that. Carolyn, don't forget this part. Carolynlyn do you smoke weed yeah what don't don't forget your new uh what were the chances at a doug benson show in san francisco what the hell's going on don't forget your new dugout all right we did it. What? What? What?

I swear, someone just said, Doug, they needed to get my specific attention right now. Doug, you're forgetting I'm an asshole who can't stop talking. Yeah, that was weird. But we got a few seconds left here, so let's play another game.

Yeah, I want to give people a full show. What? Here's the thing, you guys. Here's the thing about Bane or Lincoln Graham Elwood has memorized Everything Bane says So I don't know if you've noticed But we cannot play that game

When Graham is on the panel Because it just wouldn't be fair To the other contestants I mean I could judge it Because it just wouldn't be fair to the other contestants. I mean, I could judge it, but I can't. I got to recuse myself. Yeah, and also I'm not ready for it because I didn't bring him. Yeah, that's right.

You're not fucking ready. Your precious armory, gratefully accepted. That was Lincoln. That was Lincoln at Gettysburg. He said that when Robert E. Lee, the Confederacy, lost. He said that. Thanks, Captain Don't Get It.

Jesus. No, no, no. That's one of the better hackles. I come to a comedy show for accuracy, sir. Not for hilarious comedic suppositions based on premises. Give me facts. I'm on Reddit. Lincoln said that, right? Did Lincoln say that?

That was Lincoln. Was that Bane or Lincoln? That was Lincoln. That was Lincoln. Lincoln always talked about Reddit. Of the people, for the people. I want gifts now, now, now! That's a tough heckle to come back from when you just say something and then somebody goes,

no! I refuse to accept your premise. I'm not going to roll with it. I paid to be here. I'm going to shut your premise. I'm not gonna roll with it. I paid to be here. I'm gonna shut shit down. Alright, I'm finding the movie that I wanna play. A little round of

how much did this shit make? Good game. It's a good game. I'm Graham Elwood. Do you feel in charge? game. It's a good game. I'm Graham Elwood. Do you feel in charge? Remember when Lincoln does that to the Confederate guy? Just puts his hand on his shoulder

and the guy's fucking terrified. Remember that? Great scene. Oh, there's a guy in the front row trying to do it. Okay. The movie we're going to play today, you guys have to guess how much it made. We'll start since DC won the whole thing today. We'll start with him,

and then we'll go to Graham and then Nungayo. And it's closest bidder, without going over, you have to tell me the total domestic box office gross for the movie domestic for the movie that I'm about to say

the whole world is my home and this is according to this is according to box office Muju and the motion picture, again, it's a movie that takes place in San Francisco, but it's also appropriate

because we're a few hours from 420. So I chose Ur-B Rides Again. How much did that movie make? What year did it come out? It came out... Oh, I didn't know that was part of the game, but... I'd be happy to share that information.

19... Wait, wait, wait. Wait, which was the one with Lindsay Lohan? Fully Loaded. Oh. Let's go Fully Loaded. That's prognostication right there. Let's go Fully Loaded, you guys.

Sing into the future. Haven't we done Fully Loaded? Fully Loaded. Wait, they don't list Fully Loaded in here. What was it called? Herbie Fully Loaded? Herbie Fully Loaded, I believe. Why isn't it in here?

Lindsay Lohan, Fully Loaded. Why doesn't... Herbie the Love Bug, Reckoning. Oh, there it is. I found it. I found it! And the year was 2005. So we're doing a different movie now. That's what you're saying.

You're really that thrown off by being a different Herbie movie? There's four or five different Herbie movies. Herbie Fully Loaded was the most recent one with Lindsay Lohan and Michael Keaton. And Michael Keaton was like... That's 21st century dollars as opposed to 1977 dollars.

It's completely different. 2005. DC goes first. I took my kids to see that movie. Herbie Fully Loaded. I'm going to say that domestically, Herbie Fully Loaded made $17 million. $17 million?

Yes. On its opening weekend, right? Oh, on its opening weekend? No, no, the whole run. Yeah, $17 million. Graham? $85 million. And that's in cash.

Tax-free. That was the 15, 16-year-old, young, budding Lindsay Lohan. Oh, yeah, they had to. I heard a story that Disney had to go through and digitally remove her wrecked nipples from every shot.

I took my kids to see that. Yes, we did. A guy in the audience said I was the one who did that. Ladies and gentlemen, Walt Disney here, ladies and gentlemen. I've got nipple carpal tunnel. Yeah, back from cryo freeze. I can take an erect

nipple out at 500 yards. How do you get that job being the nipple Photoshop guy? And why are you wearing headphones? I thought I was making that up when I said that. You really were the guy who did that? No. No.

He would have, though. With his bare hands. How much, Ngayo? $62.8 million. All right, the closest without going over. That would be painful for you. That was Lincoln.

Remember? The guy got shot It's fun when Graham Plays a parallel game To the one we're all playing Yes That's what I'm doing A parallax

Alternate universe Graham Elwood game Our winner How much did you say Yungayo 62.8 Without going over Fuck It made 66 million dollars 62.8. Without going over. Fuck.

It made $66 million. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. The San Francisco kid. Hometown boy makes good. Whatever it went. I thought it was going to be sabotage. I can't stand it.

I know you planned it. I'm going to set it straight. This Watergate. That was from Lincoln, too. That was from Lincoln. Yeah, Lincoln said that, not Bane. Well, congratulations on winning that game that doesn't matter. You're welcome.

Thank you. I'm two out of three in games that well, two for two in games that don't matter and O for one. That's fair. Do you have anything you want to plug before we go? Ungayo420.com. You can find me on the Twitter. N-G-A-I-O 4-2-0. N-G-A-I-O. And I'll be in Richland, Washington

tomorrow, 420, at the M Hotel. Oh, shit. We gotta get this the M Hotel. Oh, shit. We got to get this out quick then. Oh, yeah. You better hurry. Or you guys should just go there. May 4th, I'll be in Ukiah. Nice.

Just wandering around. No. Somebody has to be there. There's a show. I got a lot of shit coming up in May. Find me on the website thing. And check out DC's latest book, Crap Kingdom. And what else you got? Yeah, Crap Kingdom.

It's in bookstores. It's online. It's on your Kindle. It's on audiobook. Get it all those ways. I really think you'll like it. It's a comedic fantasy adventure young adult novel. But it's for all ages. I also wrote the book, The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had To. And I'm on Twitter at twitter.com slash DC Pearson. Those were strong plugs.

Thanks. You said them forcefully and quickly. That's how I plug. And now here's Graham Elwood. The antithesis. Well, you go to GrahamElwood.com to get all my tour dates and also listen to ComedyFilmNerds.com.

Doug and I will be right here. Yes, thank you, Comedy Film Nerd fans. Yeah, and we'll be out. Doug and I will be right here. Yes, thank you, Comedy Film Nerd fans. Yeah, and we'll be out. Doug and I will be out here meet and greet. I'm selling all my stuff, whatever. If you want it,

I'll autograph any of your guys' posters. Yeah, he brought a bunch of shit from home and he's selling all of it. Yeah, yeah. Yard sale. He's got a bicycle, a big wheel.

Yeah, it's really cool. Some planning equipment. Some of my old CDs when we broke up. Oh, yeah, and we're doing a live Comedy Film Nerds recording at Nerd Melt Theater in Los Angeles

May 16th, doing a summer movie preview. Doug Benson will be one of the guests. Oh, I can be on that? Yes, you can, buddy. I forgot one, Doug. Can I do it real quick? Sure. I'm going to be doing comedy at the Norman, Oklahoma.

It's the Music and Comedy Festival, and I'm doing it on the 26th of April. Okay, that's not a real thing. It is real. That sounds awesome. Yeah, it's not a real thing. It is real. That sounds awesome. Yeah, it's at a guy named Norman's house. His name's Norman, Oklahoma. Yeah, his name's Norman, Oklahoma.

That would be the greatest name for a drag queen. Norman, Oklahoma, child. Norman, Oklahoma, yeah. Where the wind goes sweeping down my plane. He used to date Gary, Indiana. He's close with uh wong fu i'll be doing my bane one man show uh called bane's addiction called bane's addiction of the day no it's called bane of my existence or uh and then there's the r-rated one, or X-rated, rather. Banal sex?

Yeah, banal sex. That's actually kind of boring. It's totally banal and totally sex. Thank you. I'm glad you got that. I appreciate that. You're pretty quick. May 18th and 19th at the International Cannabis and Hip Exhibition in Burlingame,

California. That sounds like a fancy event. Fuck yes. It's the International Cannabis and Hip Exhibition. All my dates and deets are at douglasmovies.com. Thank you guys so much for coming out. Thank you! Thank you to all of my guests,

Graham Elwood, D.C. Pearson, and Guy Obelum. And as always, Matt Dillon is a shithead. And Fogg is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of Gold is viewing Proud was Bakes in Cocky. There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies