Doug Loves Movies - Doug Loves Amusement Parks

Episode Date: August 4, 2012

Doug and David Huntsberger talk about roller coasters at Cedar Point, plus a round of Leonard Maltin with Pete Holmes at Hilarities in Cleveland, OH....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming maybe sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love amusement parks. This is a boner ep of Doug Loves Movies that I'm calling Doug Loves Amusement Parks because it's coming to you from Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky, No Relation, Ohio, on August 3rd, 2 Oceans 12. I'm here with David Huntsberger. Hi, David. Hello, Doug. And last night we did a show at Hilarities in Cleveland, Ohio,

and I will share with you in a little bit the Len Malton game that we played with a very drunk Pete Holmes was there. But first, let's talk about roller coasters. It's wonderful to be here in Sandusky. And it's actually dusk out. So it's technically Sandusky. And we've ridden all of the roller coasters today. We've seen a lot of people.

I feel like this place is a cavalcade of examples on why you would never want to be a father and have a daughter. Because it's just a bunch of 15-year-old girls not wearing as much clothing. They sex it up too much. Way too much. It's uncomfortable. Yeah, it's weird. it's weird it's that's one of the downsides of being a coaster enthusiast is you do spend a lot of time around children inappropriately and then we saw the the one mother who was actually accompanying her child but she was driving one of those rascal scooters because she was too heavy to operate her own legs

and then her daughter was standing and eating cheese or chili cheese fries. Standing on her mother's motorized cart wheelchair thingy. Yeah. Other than that, those are the only things that stood out as being even remotely negative and even those were not. It's the weather's been terrific. A guy said, I overheard him talking saying May is the time to be here. And then he said what sounded. The weather's been terrific. A guy said, I overheard him talking, saying May is the time to be here. And then he said what sounded like, the weather's great, there's no one here, and it's perfect for bloggers. And he must not have said bloggers, but that's what I heard. Weirdo.

So what's your favorite roller coaster so far today? Well, I like the Dragster. Top Thrill Dragster is where you get shot out. You don't have the clackety-clack starting. You just get shot out of a cannon. And then you go kind of straight up and then over and then straight down again, and then it's over, and it goes very fast. And it's like being on a NASA, it's like you're training for a rocket mission.

Well, I think what you've left out is a very critical cresting period. You zoom out like a rocket, you do climb directly vertically, and then you do a corkscrew as you do that. You reach a pinnacle point where it feels like you might not even make it, and then you do crest, and then it's a straight vertical drop with another corkscrew into the finish. Yeah i think they have a gag sign i think it's a gag that says sometimes it doesn't make it over the top and and not to be alarmed if that happens you'll be gently returned to the like you just fall backwards slowly i i guess but i don't know why that would happen i

think they're just trying to scare you i think so the locals did when we were on it i get the sense that a lot of the people on the particular coaster we were on were locals and none of them were like, I hope this time is the one we get there. And we watched a lot of them go up. Not one of them failed to make the top and successfully crest. Yeah. So that's, do you think that's your favorite or a lot of people, I've been getting a lot of tweets from people that love Maverick. Maverick was my favorite. There's a vertical cresting sensation that I really like that feels like you're almost going beyond.

It's got a drop that almost comes backwards, like a little bit. As you're plummeting, you're kind of moving back behind yourself. And it's a really creepy and insane sensation. Yeah, yeah. I like when you crest and then you're coming down and there's that sensation like you're going to fly out of your seat and go forward. And Maverick does that, but because it does come in on itself, it feels like you really are. It's the one that makes you the most happy to have that harness on you. The other ones you feel like, ah, I could probably get by without this, but that one in particular, you really are just grasping

to that harness, hoping it doesn't give way. It's nice to be locked in on all of them. I really like Millennium Force, because it's such a long, smooth steel coaster, and it has an excellent drop and then it just kind of goes on for a while in a very fast, exciting way. I concur. I also feel Raptor meets a lot of those same criteria as well. Well, Raptor is what I like to call a dangler, where you're sitting in a little bucket where it allows your feet to dangle and as you get flipped around and go through loops and corkscrews and stuff it's it's fun to have your your feet just free and loose like that now the Mantis which is behind us and you may have you may hear the racket from the Mantis on this recording but that one is one where you stand and I'll do

it but I'm not a huge fan of standing because you're kind of locked in but also standing so it's like it's it's not very natural no and they shove a makeshift sort of like saddle into your crotch to protect you whereas I feel like just being standing or even having like a little little brace for your buttocks would be better than the the saddle up between your dick punch The dick punch is bad. Yeah, it is bad. I don't know if you noticed on Raptor when you go upside down, I saw a sign that said I walked on the sky or something,

so I did that when we were vertical. I pretended like I was walking while we were upside down because it is a dangler. And that was quite fun. That added to it. That does sound like that's fun for you. And I should mention that Top Thrill Dragster goes 420 feet in the sky, and they even have a sign that says that. How could they not know? Well, they know.

You think they're making that joke on purpose in a family amusement park? The only thing it's missing is a slogan that says, Get high. And then they'd really have it. I've heard stories on twitter of people getting thrown out for trying to smoke weed in here um that doesn't surprise me there aren't a lot of like little nooks to hide in here yeah there's no good hiding places but you know you know how i am i work some stuff out so yeah we did raptor three times we're

gonna do top thrill dragster again and Maverick again and Millennium Force again. And cannot recommend enough getting the Fast Lane Pass. You know, this isn't an ad for the place. I just love roller coasters. And if you get the Fast Lane Pass, it's $60 more, but you go to the front of every line. The longest we've had to wait for something was 15 minutes. And that was for the TTt dragster which is awesome oh well what about also what was that one that really really uh knocked me around a lot i want

to say it was called like xl 2000 or something like yeah yeah it was called where is it on the thing um yeah there it is magnum x200. The most generically named roller coaster. But yeah, that one really beat me the fuck up. And you were very vocal about it beating you up, which was my probably highlight of the day. Ow, ow, ow! Oh, goddammit! Oh, fucking goddammit!

My liver! Sorry, children! My kidney! My kidney, my liver! My liver, my kidney. Well, when it comes to... So we had a lovely day here at cedar point we're off to toledo tomorrow and um last night pete holmes played the leonard malton game because he was headlining the early show at hilarities so i asked him to stay and he got drunk during my set and so here it is in its entirety 35 minutes of Pete Holmes

drunkenly playing the Leonard Mullen game against audience members so there's a lot of hilarious stuff so stick with it if you can any final thoughts David you saw Pete last night how did how did you like it? I enjoyed it. I thought it was the most intently focused riffing. Not in the sense that each riff was very focused, but very focused on getting to a riff. He was trying to riff about anything or everything that would happen, and drunkenly, butiously and it's it's it's pretty good stuff I think I agree all right David Asperger thank you I'll see you you know I'll see you I'll see you when we go on these more of these And here we are. Here's Pete Holmes. Okay, bye.

Does anyone hunger for games? Does anyone hunger for making it weird with my friend Pete Holmes? Find the mic! Where's the mic? It's back here. Oh, there it is. There it is. We found the mic. We found the mic.

Pete Holmes, everybody. Big Petey. I accidentally got drunk. What? Is that American time? They kept bringing them to me, Doug. They just kept bringing me drinks. Slippery, slippery American cocktails. How can you say no? They're half price. I know. Which is a real class act, Larrys.

Make the headliner pay half price. I don't pay for this shit! I get my formula from Breed. I like this place! I like your life! I'm just kidding. What about Chronicon episode 420, Chewacky Tabaka? I'm drunk, I'm in the back. It's the best I can do. Ganger!

Yeah! It's so good to see you, you Vietnam veteran Lego man. Thanks for having me on the show. I'm working in Who Wants to Defeat Giant John Ritter? Who wants to defeat giant John Ritter?

Oh, there he is, it's great to be here. Oh, GJR. GJR.net.com was taken. Pay your bill! Feet on the stage like Scarface. Never move them. Bring this woman bubbles and cocaine. That's your thing, right? Bring her what and cocaine?

Bubbles. Oh, I thought you said, I swear I thought you said buttholes. Bring this woman some buttholes. And cocaine to snort from them. If you've never done cocaine through a human butthole, you've never done cocaine. Go to the bodies exhibit, get some straws, as I call them, Chinese buttholes,

and do some code. I thought Chinese buttholes would do better. They're all Chinese homeless people. Bodies. Just talk us through it, Pete. Talk us through it. Talk us through it. Talk us through it. You know what?

Explain it. Yogi Berkley. Do you know what a gift you've given me to just have something to yell if something doesn't work? Me and TJ both. You know, we made Denver t-shirts. You made it weird.com.

Yeah! Do you have one? Do you have one? It's ordered. Oh,com oh that's awesome incredible it just says Denver yeah I'm so sorry I took a moment to plug that no I hope I hope you sell a lot of them I don't have any you know what I'm gonna do whenever I see one out walking around or comes to one of my shows? I'm tripping the nose.

I'm gonna tase her. I thought you were scared with that, that she's like enjoying a football game and someone's like, that woman looks random. What the fuck, someone's gonna get tased tonight. Are you bolding? For the listeners to this part of the show, one of the waitresses here in the club got tased at a sporting event.

I want to be hip to your drug lingo, though. Are you holding a coffee? Hey, bro, are you holding a coffee right now? I'd use a J.D. Salinger. Oh, my God! Laser! Drunk laser! Drunk laser!

We did go outside earlier and have a meeting with Bernie Brillstein. He wrote this. It's going to be morning at the ham of Manny's dress for Mother's Day. A rip from my own show, Rick Reads for Yours. I'm not going to paid for this one. This is for friendship. Let's see some scenes from Family Opera. Oh my God,

and then the share lyric can drop on everybody. What? Call Gerard Butler? Yes, yes, smart-ass. Right? Did I win the game? Was he requesting a Gerard Butler impression? Do we do Gerard Butler?

Is that something we do? I don't think so. He's hard to pin down, Gerard Butler. The opera, the movie. That is hilarious. Oh, he was in the family opera movie. He was? I don't want to play against that guy.

That'll be a career mistake. He was? I don't want to play against that guy. I don't want to play against that guy. I'm from 300 and from...300. I'm not high. I'm just stupid. He was in a bunch of movies you haven't seen, like with Katherine Heigl and Jennifer Aniston. Oh, right. And Heigl and... And the one about where he was in jail but but he was still murdering people from jail. Oh, right. Law-abiding citizen. Right. I didn't see that. I only see movies that people get kicked by wearing sandals. That's a degrading kid. Yes. And I'm recreative.

And I'm Scottish, but I'm from Swarton. Fall into a hole, it's a green screen, yeah. That's what you say when you fuck a cyborg. Rips, rips, rips, rips, rips. Smear-double-gays way easier. I can't get a word in if it's just you and me. We don't even need TJ and Jeff. I'm another HWE.

Yeah! It's out of my league. Nobody knows that one. Nobody knows that one. You played Stainer in that. What? Sorry, Jennifer Aniston impressions. Jennifer Aniston impressions?

What is with that Smartwater ad, the print ad where she's in a car and she's like, I don't have time for life. You know what I'm talking about? The people laughing know what I'm talking about. I think it's just funny that you're making up shit. I don't have time for life? Jennifer Aniston?

Yeah, there's a Smartwater ad where she had a bottle of Smartwater, the go-getters beverage, and she's in an old car like, get in the car! Who does she date? Fred Savage? I don't know who she's dating. Get in there!

Go down on me and have someone narrate what he tastes like. You wonder years. Get in there, J.D. Salinger. Call it! Fuck you, Larry! He goes down on me and has someone narrate what he tastes like. You wonder, you're a dick. I'm a jay-z sounder. Call that fucking Larry's hat quite fresh. I'm not even having a second to do radio for a fucking half-way through. Oh no, I'm sorry, I started it.

Fuck you, my tater dick! If you guys are up early tomorrow, be sure to check out... You know how the comedy club audience is. Little, little radio. Bring it in, crab! Yeah, Denver. Denver!

Okay, okay. I'm so sorry. You're doing great. This is fun. Yeah, this is the most fun. Oh, look here, Cayenne. That's a pepper. Yes! Yeah, you're spicy. I am. I was named after a dog, though. Wait, wait, she was named after a dog? I was named after a dog.

What kind of dog? One of those wiener dogs? A bitch. A bitch? It was a girl dog. What's his name? Paprika? Okay. We're done. The fun doesn't go back to her. Because that's the top of the mountain. You can't climb to the clouds

even if there's a bun and you're Mario. How are you? This is the best time of my life. Thanks for having me. I should get drunk before my own shows. This is better. Oh, that would be a good idea. Right?

You've really carved out a nice niche for you. You come into town. Uh-huh. Like a fucking drifter. Sure. You're born on the 4th of July jacket. You get ripped. You know Tom Cruise is born on the Fourth of July jacket. You get ripped off. You know Tom Cruise was born on the Third of July, right?

Is that true? I love Tom Cruise. I hope you play some Tom Cruise games. Like, when Paul Trump chews Tom Cruise's big baby. I think we have a category. I think there's a category in here about Tom Cruise. I love Tom Cruise, not ironically. You come into town, wear your Tom Cruise jacket, no wheelchair,

you get ripped on local Midwestern weed, and then you come and play games where people celebrate your inability to do that effectively. They celebrate? Yeah, they celebrate it. The more they miss you, the more they love you. That's the best. I fuck up,

I fuck up my wording or something, they're like, bring your A game. You fuck up your wording, they're like, fuck me with your dick. No one in any audience in the history of everything

has ever yelled to you, bring me, bring your A game. I've seen other faces. Fuckin' uh, spicy pants over here. I'm saying it right now. Don't inhale this moment, you'll sneeze forever.

Cayenne rips, cayenne rips. Come on, guys, it's the Indian food. Yeah, you're right. Let's see someone, oh, someone who said, bring your A-game. Don't heckle me, I'm unhecklable. That's not true, I'm very sensitive.

Do you want to pick a name tag to play? Can we see your name tags, you guys? Are there any of you who made a weird name tag? Look at these! Nice work, there's a big shoe over there. I haven't done it yet, back, see a smiley. Come out there, you made a wearer. Next time, bring fucking name tags that correspond to podcasts not being represented tonight.

Learn your lesson. We're going to do more than one, though. If you lose. I'm going to win. Yeah? All right! Bingo! Do you love your fans? I'm gonna win. Yeah. Oh, Ryan! Bingo. Nice. Ah. Do you love your fans?

It happens sometimes. We were talking about it in everybody. Okay, so it says you made it weird and with Pete Holmes and Doug Benson and then, and you're,

oh, Ryan made it weird so you're Ryan. Yeah. All right. You guys are so sad that I didn't pick you. One of you is still holding your name tag up. The selection You guys are so sad that I didn't pick you. One of you is still holding your name tag up.

This election time is over, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. But it might not be. If Ryan loses, what does yours say? It says nothing. I wrote it right now. Some people think that if they just jot it down on a napkin, they're good to go.

To quote God when he didn't make you a Jew, I'm glad I didn't choose you. I mean, that is one of the best jokes I've ever said. Do you think Jesus threw around the word glad? Jesus.

From time to time. Right. Do you think Jesus threw around the word glad? Jesus. Jesus threw around the word glad? Ryan. Not Jesus. I'm sorry. You're from Nazareth, though. As if he's a doctor, right? You know, when you got stuck with one Bible major,

Shalom. Sorry, Jim Caviezel, wasn't the best you. When they whipped him in pieces, he flew out. That was pretty hard. Yeah. Hard for him. That's what he punched his pilot this year. We got him.

All right, the final portion of RipsI.P.S. is over. Let's play some games. Who hungers for games? Get over there and play. Don't worry, Ryan, we got this. Ryan gets to pick it up. If I don't, you'll forgive me. Hey, will you contribute a copy of your album, Moist With Anticipation?

It's dangerously delicious, is what I said. That's a Z-Syz. That's a Z-Syz album. I should have made that laugh. Yeah, I have a reason why. What's yours called? Impregnated With Wonder. That's what I said.

You didn't say that. Moist With Anticipation, same thing. I love your album, Let's Rip some deep, smoky bomb hits live. That's what it's about. You know how I like them deep and smoky. This guy's tiring me, though. Write it up. Never?

Never! Yeah! Okay, I'm so bad at the games. Yeah, so Ryan's going to beat you, and we'll put an end to this. Okay. But if Ryan doesn't win by some stroke of weirdness, then we'll bring up somebody else. So that lady might have another chance.

You know how close the pressure is. Yeah, but she put it down. You should throw it for old Shula's daughter. Oh, yeah, he just had a baby. The baby's name is Jameson. Yes. That's actually true. Jameson Gagermister Absolute.

I can't believe you remembered that. I did remember that. You love it. Anytime you're doing crowd work and the person's, name is a thing. Yeah, you lose your mind It'll be the name. It'll be the name. Go ahead, do it. Kaylee. Kaylee? Kaylee's food? I don't know. That's the sound of my dick going into my body. What was it?

You don't want Kaylee? No, I don't think that one. He just wanted to talk to you about stuff. I don't want to add about my wrist, but I'll forget. The upside is it's being recorded, so you can listen to it later and feel bad again. Shit. Is it alright if we record your voice, Ryan? Of course. Let's get that on mic.

Doug loves an OECD card for your music to be used in... Yeah, let him answer into the microphone. Yes. You're not answering. What is that? You're out of the answer. What did I do? You're out of the answer. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I came to clean the room. Watch the tape, bitch.

Yeah. I'm a wooly man. I know that I'm wooly. I sing. I want. Sit down. Sit down, Jesus. Take the water over there, you bitch.

You savior bitch. I'm just kidding. I always wanted to talk fast to the Lord. All right, let's play. Ready? The category is... Brian gets to choose between three categories. Ferris Bueller's Baby's Day Out. Jesus, I'm so proud of that and two people laughed. At Bradley SM suggested

Quaid's Awareness Month. And that's movies that have Dennis and Randy Quaid in them. Quaid's Awareness. Both of them. Who's the villain in Total Recall? White? Quaid in that one. Quaid's awareness. Both of them. Who's the villain in Total Recall?

Quaid? No, Ronnie Cox? Quaid? Oh, yeah, yeah. His name is Quaid. Doug Quaid. Quaid. Is his name.

Yeah. It's better than the cyber. Here we go. Where are you, kid? We don't need to do a side bar on each one of these, Pete. I can just run through them. Okay. Quades aplenty.

Full blown quades. Full blown quades. That's pretty good. Quades awareness is pretty good. Oh, I didn't hear that. That's why I like that better than you did. Or, you're going to go off on this one. Okay.

Someone named Denver Yeah on Twitter. Oh. Yeah, that's how into you this person is. They suggested, so I have to play this game with you here. They suggested Snapes's on a plane. And that's any movie where Alan Rickman flies for some reason. So the title of any movie, Die Hard and Falls, that's flying. Yippee-ki-yay. That's correct, Mr. McLean. During the treatment, Mr. Butler, I was stuck a glass of heavy cream. Why? Why?

Because it makes you feel dirty. It makes you feel dirty. I loved it. It's a complete non sequitur. It didn't mean anything. Pay for half your things. Best night of our lives. This is it, this is it, this is life. You look disappointed, own it. Cash it, cash it and expand it. Yes.

You just up your game every time. I said no more riffs, and you did two different riffs that time. Let's see what this third suggestion gets. This is Jack Oft, and that's movies where Jack Nicholson dies. So which one of those would you like to play, Jesus, Ryan? Would you like Jack Nicholson dies, or Quaid's Awareness, or Snape's on a plane? I'll go with Jack-Dog. I'll take Jack-Dog.

Wait, you want the category, or you're asking Pete to... Pete, could you jack him off? If that light just got more intense, we'll do it. This is your body. Give it for me. I hope you like that joke, because if you don't, you're in hell for it.

We're giving. We're giving. All right. So Ryan gets to go first. As always, audience, if you think you know it, don't yell out, but I think Pete's

the most drunk person here. So Pete, don't yell it out if you think you know it don't yell out but I think Pete's the most drunk person here so Pete don't yell it out if you know the answer okay I won't know the answer three and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 2006 where Jack Nicholson gets killed Leonard calls this movie potent and he also says about this movie that it was inspired by a film made in another country. Inspired by. And he lists. Please don't push the microphone into Jesus' face. Jesus, Pete.

Sorry, Jesus. Okay, Ryan. He lists. Jesus Pete. Okay, Ryan. He lists. Leonard lists. 14 names. How many names do you think you can get today? 14. He's throwing 14, lady. Thank you.

Lady that said 13. I can name it in 8 names. He told 13. I can name it in eight names. He told seven's the name of the Lord. I disrespect you. I put it out of line.

People will say that about me. Oh. Do you want to hear the eight names? No. You're right. Do you want to hear the eight names? No. You're right. It's the card.

Sit the fuck down, Jesus. Quiet! And it's Baby Boy Jameson. Give him a round of applause. Yay! What the fuck was that? We thought this would be over in round one. Like, what's your time list?

I've got a microphone. You need to put it in the person line. I'm so sorry. Okay, pick somebody else, Pete. Pete! Pete! Pete! It's time for a repeat! Pete! That was the best tweet you ever had, Tina. Give it to Tina. Tina, Tina. Give me Tina.

Tina! Tina, that's my little thing. She sings so naturally. I love you. You're my favorite. You're my favorite. You're my favorite. Bring it, bring it.

Why are we clapping? Because it's not you. Be gregarious. Tina, everybody. Hi, Tina. No, I didn't pee because I knew I would win. Our first fight. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you. No, Caleb! No, I didn't pick it because I knew I would win. Our first fight. She just turned her cute little leg tag on you, finally. And you know, it looks like it's a tag on like a Christmas present. And in it is animosity. Name for the mouth.

Name for the mouth? Yeah, when you're putting a microphone on your mouth. That's what she arrived. Yeah. Let's ask her a question. Tina, where are you from? What's your last name?

DeMovet. Is that French? Italian? Spaniard? Jew? Lithuanian? Slovakian? Are you going to see the new Jason Bourne movie?

No. Like when you see it, it looks awesome. Come with me. Yeah, I will. Jeremy Vanner. I'm looking forward to Taken 2. You're going to be Taken again. That's literally, that happens in the trailer. They start telling each other, you're going to get Taken again.

Oh, Taken 2! That's right! He's on the pony, he's kind of happy about it. He's like, I'm gonna do what I do best. He's happy! This is kind of sweet. I'm tracking you right now. He gets bored. He gets bored when his loved ones aren't taken. That's the secret of all the English families that like them to be abducted, so we can save them. Harrison Ford taught us, need a decent seal of the deal.

Tina, what's your middle name? Helen. the deal. Tina, what's your middle name? Colin. That's not appropriate at all. Well, you're right, Colin. All right. All right. You get to pick a category, Tina. Would you like... Do you know how to throw you to the moon? Do you ever come home after a hard day of work and just have a dindle of whiskey? It's a mess right down there. You look like a squirrel staying up. I want to shake you into a rascal.

Don't come home until I get fly for a short time. You're small. You're small. I'm gonna ask Will Duffel to come over here so I can fly for a short time. Do you like Tina Fey? She's okay. She's okay? Alright. Rhymes. Tina Fey's okay? All right. He's no Judd Apatow. The Charleston

will not save you now. I really think that's a good one. Tina gets a big category. Hasta la vista maybe. And that's movies

where Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't kill anyone. Or Moonrise Condom. Which is movies where people have space sex. Sex in space. Okay.

Or Bottomless Pit, and that's movies where Brad Pitt eats. That's every Brad Pitt movie. Pretty much. Holy shit. Doesn't narrow it down a whole lot. Money ball. Money meatball. Come on.

So Arnold or sexist face or club sandwich. I have more. That line at Louisiana. Crowd. Come on. You're wrong. I got one.

Yeah. Me, Joe, Blackberry Jam. Like, anyone not laughing or clapping, you get an F. That's how that works. You're wrong. This is prepared. This is a delight. I'm trying to think of more Brad Pitt movies.

That's real. Money Cheese Ball? I already said Money Meatball. Okay. Troy. Troy, Troy. Trap button mushrooms? Troy. Trap button mushrooms?

Trap button mushrooms from the side for the win. That's excellent. That is... Fucking fell into Louisiana crab cakes. It was fucking amazing. How you doing, Tina? I'm okay. She's okay.

She's mousy. That's not bad. You're just small. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not? I'm okay. She's okay. She's mousy.

That's not bad, you're just small. I kind of want to hurl you like a javelin. I have a favor to do. No one could hurl me. Is there anyone here that could hurl me like a javelin? Let's do this, I'm just calling you to meet on the stage. That is show business! That is old-timey show business! I kill time, Doug puts it through the supercomputer, you enjoy the benefits.

Live your life! Goodnight everybody! I'm kidding, there's 25 more minutes. Not that much, we've gone over. But, Tina, which one of those would you like to play? I can't remember. Give her the mic. I'm talking too much. Schwarzenegger, Sex and Space, or Brad Pitt eating?

Space. Space. People wanted Brad Pitt in the audience. Sorry. Okay, some people have Sex and Space in this movie from 1979. That's the year I was born. I'm 33. The age of Jesus.

It's time for you to die! Oh, Pontius. Come back, buddy. It's time for you to die. Why would you? Don't worry. I'm just repeating what he said. I know. He's a fan. We hugged after the show. Two stars from Leonard.

Okay. He says this movie is... Someone fucks in space? Overblown, he says this movie is. So there's too much blowing in it. And he also says that it has an eye-popping opening.

Thanks for nothing, McLanner. Remember that girl that had an eye-popping opening? All right, and he lists... The eyes, by the way? Yeah. Total Recall. You totally recalled that scene from Total Recall. with the eyes following? Yeah. Total recall. You totally recalled that scene

from Total Recall. I hope you win. I think she might. You're going to win? I don't know. Eight names. Eight names. How many names

do you think you can get, man? Eight. She opens with eight. I like where this is going. You can either say name it it she'll hear all 8 names

or you can go 7 get most of the names she said 8 that's so confidence I like that you're shoes match you shirt like heaven and earth. So I don't know why I won because of that, but I'll say... Girl's shoes and shirts often match. Isn't that something they do?

Is that true? Yeah. Are black men just ripping off white women? Women in general, I think. That's why women have so many shoes, is to match things. And old white men, like old, like, bond relationship.

No, by being on stage, you agree with this. I don't. So what do you say, seven names? I'll say fucking four names. Four names, he says. Name it. Here we go. Name that movie. Here we go.

Name that movie. Good luck. There's a scene where people have sex in space. Yeah, that came out in 1979. And people in the audience are going to know it, because you guys are bigger film fans than Pete here. I know. And you're probably less drunk than Pete.

So if you hear these four names, please don't yell out, because I can't wait to hear Pete not know the answer. The four names are Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewellyn, Bernard Lee, and Corrine Clary. The corn. Yeah.

Four names, 1979, so it's Fox in Space. Sam Rockwell Moon, I'm kidding. You back in the house, kid? This is your house. Yeah, you gotta name it. All right. Hey, you even think of a movie

where people have sex in space? Yeah, okay, let's start there. People have sex in space in the following movies. The Jetsons. That's a great movie. I'm telling you about movies in space. Star Trek. Spock. Sporks. Somebody. I'm talking about movies in space. Star Trek.

Spock. Sporks. Somebody in the Black. Wait, no, I'll get it. The devil wears space suit on their dick. What's happening? I'm having a stroke. What's a movie that takes place in space? Fifth Element.

The sixth element, SEMA. Okay, 1979, apocalypse, now you're gonna taste my dick. In space? Yeah. Is that in space? Yeah. Is that in space?

I don't think it is. I don't think it's in space. All right. So, you know, Tina wins. Tina's a winner. No, wait. Hold on. Hold on.

You had seven guesses. I did have seven guesses. Yeah. Do you have one more? Like a real one or another hilarious title that ends with your dick? I'm trying to think of more random food ones. The assassination. We already had a meat gel black one. Mr. and Mrs. Granny's sweet apples.

Mr. and Mrs. Granny's with apples. Mr. and Mrs. Granny's with apples! That's not bad. That's not bad. I'm trying to think of the assassination of Jesse James... ...brother Cow... ...Burger. Well, fuck you guys. I'm giving you so much for free. If you wouldn't give me one, T-man, stop fidgeting. I'm gonna burly you into the goddamn room.

I'm gonna grab you by the ankles and swing you like a goddamn general. So Tina's our winner. And congratulations, Tina. And, um... The movie is, uh... It's a James Bond film where in the last scene of the movie he has sex with the Bond girl.

Holly Goodhead is her name in the movie. And the motion picture is called Moonraker. Who is James Bond? That would be Roger Moore. Roger Moore. One of the late, great Roger Moore, ridiculous James Bond movies. Where Jaws is in it, and it's in space. And the guy Jaws with the steel teeth,

and he falls in love with a little Tina-sized person. You guys look like Jaws, and the girl he falls in love with is a moonraker. I'll put it in your ass. Is that what you mean? I love it. Congratulations, Tina. You get copies of

Megalos and Ruby's Teacher in there and both two of my CDs and also one of David Huntsberger's CDs. All of it? You get all of that stuff. That's all for you. I love those in golden bags. Thanks, Tina.

Congratulations. Good job. in Golden Bay. Thanks, Tina. Congratulations. Good job. Do you have any parting words, Pete? Would you like to call

someone a shithead? That's a fun way to end the show. Pick a shithead and announce it. Hilarities? Hilarities for the half-pipe. Oh, poor Hilarities.

If you guys can wake up early tomorrow morning listening to him on the radio, because he's going to go off about the fucking half-price drinks. It's been great. See how enraged he is about it. Don't make me send you $70 for my double-house. You are. This guy in the audience is calling you a dick-skipper. I promise not to skimp your dick, Douglas. You jerked up Jesus right here

on this stage. You're no dick skipper. Thanks for having me. But you're the skipper of them both that's sailing straight to my heart. USS Friendship? And then crashing into it, and I murder you. And Pete Holmes, ladies and gentlemen. That's that.

Thank you very hands, guys. Thank you very much, everybody. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talk. He hides a gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.