Doug Loves Movies - Eric Edelstein, Vanessa Johnston, Luis J. Gomez and Jacob Sirof guest

Episode Date: August 30, 2017

Back at the UCB Franklin in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes Eric Edelstein, Vanessa Johnston, Luis J. Gomez and Jacob Sirof to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody, my name is Doug And as they just mentioned in the opening theme song, I love movies. This is our movie. I know, I gave you guys a weird cue, and that's what happens when you give out a weird cue,

is the response was pretty mellow. when you give out a weird cue, is the response was pretty mellow. But we're coming to you once again from our original home, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, Franklin location. Yes. Powerful.

Powerful turnout late on this Tuesday, August 29th. Hey, how you doing? It's personal service tonight with the audience. I'll chat with each and every one of you. 2017. We've got four guest chairs, one hour and 15 minutes. It's dark and I'm not wearing sunglasses.

Hit it. No, but do we have name tags tonight? Do we have at least four? One, two, three. Okay, we're good. All right. So we got enough name tags for all of my guests to get to play for somebody. Doug Plugs, Cleveland, this Saturday, September 2nd, 420 at Hilarity's.

Hello. Part of the Accidental Comedy Festival. Then Monday, Labor Day, I'm going to be in Denver doing stand-up at 420 at Comedy Works. And Los Angeles, the next show here is over at Meltdown Comics on Thursday, September 7th at 9pm. All of my dates and deets and links

can be found at Douglovesmovies.com That's Douglovesmovies.com Yeah! You guys did it. I brought a prize bag. I got to go to the premiere of the new season of You're the Worst,

which returns this season. Their fourth season starts on September 6th, a week from tomorrow. And I already saw the first two episodes. I can tell you you they're very good even though i'm not in them i show up later in the season but uh in the very first episode edgar's in a good place because he's got a job uh in television writing for the show doug loves sketches show Doug Loves Sketches. Maybe I've said too much. Anyway, I brought for the prize bag a blue card from Getting Doug With High, a Doug

Loves Movies t-shirt, a glass that I stole from the San Francisco punchline when I was there last weekend. This is something somebody gave me a bunch of things from the field notes company uh in chicago when i was just there and so this is a a little package of i think it's six field notes uh click pens yeah i never heard that click pen and it's cl-l-i-c no no k on click i guess i guess somebody had the rights to

that and then i also brought uh a whole bunch of you know the person who wins a prize magazine to get one of these uh peacemaker pipes but i've got so many of them and they're so christmassy and uh so i feel like i need to get rid of them all by Christmas. It's August. You know, I still got time. But I still brought more than the one tonight to just randomly fling at people. So put your hand over your face if you don't want to be hit in the face by one of these. But if also you would like one.

Like in a catching. Oh, look at that. I want to throw to that guy again because he was so close. Yay! And let's give one to a lady. Are you a lady? Sorry, dude.

There's a lady out there that wants one. Okay, here we go. Good luck to us all. Don't let it hit you in the face. Did it get to her? Yay! Very good. As you know, if you follow my Instagram, I like to show off my throwing skills.

My random key card into a garbage can throwing skills. So all that stuff is in the prize bag plus stuff brought by my guests. So let's get them out here. Please give a big warm welcome to Eric Edelstein, Vanessa Johnson, Louis J. Gomez, and Jacob Searoff. Hey, you guys.

Sit wherever you like. Put your stuff down grab a microphone let's meet everybody individually I didn't even ask you backstage Eric we're going to talk to you first is it Stein or Steen? Stein

oh it's Stein I'm such an asshole well we'll go back and we'll fix that let me just give it to you now Ryan and you can lift it the sound here and then drop it over his name earlier when I said it Stein just drop that in it's gonna sound totally natural and cool and everybody's gonna love it and Eric Edelstein it's such an honor to have you here because you're here because I was talking shit about you on this very podcast and confusing you with another actor

and somebody set me straight on the internet. What was that other guy's name? Do you know him? Brad Hankey. Have you been mistaken for him before? You won't believe this, and I waited to tell you until now. He used to live two houses down from me. Whoa.

Went on a couple dates with my now wife. What? Yes, and then this lady in my neighborhood still thinks I'm him. I drive by, and she's like, Brad, Brad. And he sounds like this incredible guy. He would help this elderly woman in her home, and my wife fixes stuff around our house. My wife.

I have nothing. Okay. But he's a really nice guy. Was there any hanky-panky? I think there was. I think there was for sure. If it's Brad Hanky. His name's Hank.

Throwing you softballs here, man. Yeah. But that's very cool that you showed up here because I was talking about how when we first met, was at the premiere of the movie Green Room. Yeah. And you were sitting right behind me.

You had a great time during that premiere. Really? Yeah. You were very vocal. Was I really? Throughout the whole thing. Did you have some drinks beforehand? I did.

And then, but truly, the last thing I remember of the night was you gave me one of those pens. Vape pen, yeah. And then I ended up like near Torrance. Like the last thing I remember was like Doug Benson's weed pen, which like if it's offered to you, you have to do it. It's like a rule. Sure, of course. But we kind of got, didn't we get yelled at for smoking in that after party?

I think we did. Yeah. I think we did. I don't think they allowed it. No. It was frowned on. It's a new world now. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, welcome to California. Well, January. It'll be, in January, I'll be a lot more lippy with people that tell me I can't smoke. No, I won't.

It's their place. It's their rules. But thank you so much for being here, dude. And great job in the movie Green Room. I understood why you'd be at your own premiere and enthusiastic about the movie. But you also know that it's an intense movie, right? Yeah.

Yeah, and you were cheering for things. Oh, was I really? Yeah, mostly the Nazis. Oh. Well, you get close on set. Yeah. And it's like you don't see him as a Nazi. Yeah, you see Patrick Stewart as the poo emoji, not a Nazi.

Yeah, he would like talk to me at lunch. I'm like, this guy's awesome. Yeah, he must have been neat to work with. Oh, yeah. Seems like a very nice fellow all right well thank you for being here and uh it's a first timers club tonight uh because we also have joining us on the panel for the first time vanessa johnson everybody hello hello who i met through the kill tony podcast where she uh, are you not the regular person anymore?

Um, I retired in January to start going on the road. So yeah, to start actually working as a comic. Yeah. After doing a minute every week on their crazy podcast. 60 weeks. So 60 times. Yeah.

So 60 minutes. So then you had an hour and you went out on the road with it. Hello world. I'm ready for you. Yeah. That's neat. I like that. And now they got somebody else doing it, I guess.

Fuck that bitch. They like to just pick people and have them be the person that's on every week. Right. It's usually a lady. Maybe someday you'll get a shot. I would love to be the weekly person on that show. I'm going to apply for the position very, very soon.

But you like movies? Do you enjoy movies? Yeah. I watch a lot of movies. I had like a kind of a weird job from 2010 to like 2015 so I like crushed movies

during that time period. So I'm like anything that... So if you're saying I need to ask you about movies during that time period. Yeah. I'll crush. I wish I had gotten

that information ahead of time. It's okay. Because I would love to set it up so that you would win tonight. I wish I had gotten that information ahead of time. It's okay. Because I would love to set it up so that you would win tonight. I mean, you know, I've never lost anything. No, I'm just kidding.

I don't lose. Yeah. Well, we'll see how you do tonight. Thanks. Judgment much? No, just more of a segue to introducing

another first time guest. You know who you are. We got high today on the internet, you and I. I'm getting done with high. It's Luis J. Gomez, everybody. Half Puerto Rican. You're goddamn right I am. That's probably the first time on this show

we've had one of those. One of thems. Yeah. Half Puerto Rican. You know, usually Puerto Ricans are being ejected from movie theaters, so they don't really get the full movie experience. Right? A lot of yelling out at the screen.

Yeah. We act like him every time. We don't even have to be drunk. It doesn't have to be our premiere. We just act like it is. Yeah. All right. And you're visiting from New York.

Yeah. And what's going on out here? Is there anything else that you could plug while you're here? You know, it's a race war. Just trying to take part. And, you know, just wait. You know, I'm going to pick a side.

Just wait and see who's winning. Did you get a discount on your airfare if you tell them that's what you're coming to town for? Yeah, yeah. I did. Get the race war rate? Yeah, yeah. I flew Unite the Right Air. United the Right.

I don't know. I'm high from earlier today with you. Yeah, we had a good session today. We did. That was fun. Ron Funches was there. Oh, shit. This is a person that thought Ron Funches died three years ago.

Oh, my God. Such good news. He's still with us. Yeah, you should definitely check that one out. And while you're here, check out our fourth panelist. It's Jacob Seroff. Check me And while you're here, check out our fourth panelist. It's Jacob Siroff. Check me out while you're here. Now, Jacob, part of the reason I asked you to be here is because you won on that most recent show.

Not the most recent one, but you won up in Tacoma. I did. I did, yeah. Yeah, that's what happened there. And so I asked you to come do this show. But I also knew when I was asking you that we had one of the stars. And when I say a star of the new Twin Peaks television series, we're talking about one of hundreds of people.

About 300 people. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of acting roles on this new 18 episodes of Twin Peaks. But Eric here plays a character, and I don't want to screw this up, named Smiley? Fusco. Smiley.

And so I had to have Jacob on the show because Jacob's the only person I know. He's not the only person I know. Lots of people love it, but he's the only person I know that's deeply obsessed with it. Yeah, it's kind of, I would say about 65, 70% of my life right now, Twin Peaks. Because he watches episodes over, did he already tell you this backstage?

He watches, he's seen some of the episodes repeated times. I've probably seen them about five times each. I haven't gone five, but I've gone two or three on some. I'm a nerd about it too. Like I watched every episode on the couch with my mom. You watch your own episodes? No, no, no. The first ones. The 89. And mom. You watch your own episodes? No, no, no. The first ones.

The 89. And yeah, I watch my own episodes. What is your first episode? We already established that. It's a party, man. How does your mom feel about the show? My Marianne and Eric, it's a little over our heads, I think. Yeah, the guy's been painting shovels for a while now.

Dr. Amp. And I love Jerry Horn. Jerry Horn's the guy, man. Jerry Horn, of all the people, Jerry Horn, really. He's going to have something to do, though. I've been predicting that for a while. He's stoned, man. He's in a factor into the climax. Oh, yeah. He's not done. But also, Doug, I did we did the show in New York

together, The Gramercy, and with Dana Ashbrook who plays Bobby Briggs on Twin Peaks. So now I got Smiley Foose. I'm just working my way up to Laura Palmer. I feel like eventually it's going to happen. Oh, that's who you want to meet? Is that lady? I think she'll do the show eventually. You see her picture in the new series? Yeah, you see her picture in the opening credits.

But she doesn't show up, right? No, but she gets in the cast every episode because her picture's in the opening credits. Wow. She's in the Black Lodge, that one episode this year. Oh, right. We've seen her, but she's not in it. Oh, there's like a flashback? No.

She acts, and it's like her character has been aging even though she's dead, but she's not in everything. Oh, there's like a flashback? No. She acts, and it's like her character has been aging, even though she's dead, and she's stuck in there. Whoa. It's a trip, man. I want to hang out with the little midget guy, like in the weird red room. He's a tree with a brain attached to it now. They fired him.

He was difficult. What? Yeah. He was horrible. He went Hollywood? He was apparently. He went on Facebook and claimed that David Lynch based the story on his real life

and was actually raping his daughter. Whoa. And that David Lynch had his best friend murdered. He put all this on Facebook. Well, you know what happened was he was on tour with Kid Rock for so many years.

Yeah. That'll do it. He just went fucking crazy. What was that dude's name? Yeah. You probably know. You look like you know. What was his name?

His name was Joe, I think. Yeah, he died, right? Tiny Joe. No, that was only Biscuit Midgets. Didn't they all have midgets? They really did. David Lynch started that shit, man. New Metal 80s rock bands really had their own little pet midget.

It was a thing for a minute, but then Kid Rock really up the stakes when he hired a black lady drummer with blonde hair. That's a next level pet midget. What the hell is going on in this band? But they were great. They were all great together. Yeah. Little fuck,

little fuck Joe. What was his name? Joe C. Joe C. There we go. There you go. We were close. Rest in peace, man.

Yeah, let's be respectful. Tiny coffin. Look, it's positive side of it right saved a tree listen what's the rate for your toddler coffins is it a money saver

or they still figure out a way to make it so nice you have to really pay for it we had to make this so nice you have to really pay for it. We had to make this one special, they probably say. This tiny coffin. That's hilarious. Alright. That was fun to talk about.

But we're here to, you know, talk about movies, which we'll do in a second, but let's see what you guys brought for the prize bag. It's always interesting when someone's never been on the show before and doesn't know what to expect, and I just send you a text saying, bring something for the prize bag. You're like, what does that even mean?

So let's start with Louis. What did you come up with? Well, Doug, knowing you, I figured that your fan base probably likes to get a little high. There's a couple, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, so what I did was... A lot of people are just straight edge nerds, though. Did you bring cocaine?

I brought... No, no, even better. Looks like cocaine. I brought a pre-roll joint and a 20 milligram Adderall. Whoa. That's something you're allowed to just give away to people? No, this is an audio podcast. We're kidding.

Oh, okay. Wink. If We're kidding. Oh, okay. Wink. If you're Puerto Rican, it's cool, I think, anyway. These are jokes, Doug. Obviously, it's not a real Adderall. All right. Give it up.

It's going right in the prize bag. There it is Okay, good job I don't know if Eric can top this I don't have drugs I wish I did But I think you have something that's pretty neat No, I have the Mystic Seer bobblehead

This has been in my home And any bit of bad luck or bad mojo Comes with the doll So I just have to say that there to cover my base. And then you get a Gil Hodges bobblehead. And I carried this around Dodger Stadium. This went in bathrooms. Dude, your wife said,

get those fucking bobbleheads out of the house today. You're fucking 40, dude. Or you're out, okay? Get it. We don't need it. And then you texted him, dude, bring some stuff. He was like, perfect.

No, I'm getting rid of him to bring in a Cody Bellinger bobblehead. Like, that's the saddest part, too yeah all right pass him down here good job i never had double bobbleheads from any any any one guest so this is pretty i'm sorry about my behavior at the premiere well it was just so funny because i was like like this guy that's playing this terrifying bouncer is just yelling, yeah, in my ear every time somebody gets really violently maimed. But I can't complain,

because it's his movie. I'm making the bobbleheads make out like crazy. This one really likes to get in there. Make the one give the other one bobblehead. It's always a Puerto Rican Day parade for Luis Gomez. Choked on it a little bit. Choke up on that bat. All right, so...

That's a good baseball sex joke, though. Yeah, right? I tried. Vanessa, what do you got? So, today's lucky winner is going to walk away with not two, but three bobbleheads. What?

You brought a bobblehead? Great minds. Another bobblehead? This is John Wick, you guys. Yeah, give it up for John Wick happy you're in the Gil Hodges there's something going on

the we we text it no we literally never met the producer of John Wick

actually gave this to me oh okay yeah I was like I love you so much please just take this as a gift for my heart this is my fucking

gift section okay no he was like dude he was like, dude, he was like, he was like, I was like, dude, I was like, I loved your movie so much. And he was like, here. And I was like, I didn't like it that much. But cool. Like, I can't keep that.

It'll need a doll. It has a gun. I've seen Chucky too many times. So I'm just like, good luck, everyone. Yeah, get him down here. Let's get a three-way going. But it's a Funko Pop vinyl, so his head doesn't actually bobble.

Oh, fuck. But it's still close enough that someone's getting a lot of dolls tonight. You're welcome. Yeah. Somebody's really... If you have, like, zero dolls at home, you're going to triple your doll situation.

Doug, can I have my Adderall back? Hey, can I have that bag that you brought it in? Oh, this bag? Do you need that? That's going to really be helpful for me to consolidate. Alright, listen. Can I have half the Adderall back and then we're going to split the half

and then they can have the other half. That sounds fun. I'm going to be honest with you because I realize my gift's too good. Go ahead and divide that up. How are you going to cut it? You got a pill cutter on you? Come on, really? He's Puerto Rican.

He's like, I was born with this skill. Wow. Right out of the middle. You cannot teach that. Yeah, you can only do that if you're half something. Alright, so you guys gonna take that right now? Yeah. You're not gonna take it?

A quarter, you're not gonna feel that. Just fucking snort it. Oh, shit. Oh, shit, you boofed it. He quarter? You're not going to feel that. Just fucking snort it. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. You boofed it. He put it in his ass for the audio listeners. Jacob Searoff

does not fuck around. It's a quarter. You got to get everything you can out of it. He gets into the bloodstream quickly. You know, what are you going to do?

All right. So that's all the stuff that's going on in the prize pool. No, you didn't do me yet. Yeah, I had a feeling yours wasn't worth talking about.

No, it is. I got a smiley Fusco bobblehead that I brought. Oh. No, I had a feeling yours wasn't worth talking about. No, it is. I got a smiley Fusco bobblehead that I brought. Oh. No, I got... I brought... I have this little thing that keeps wax and it says V on it. I assume that's for vagina, but I don't know. It could be for something else.

I guess there's other V words. This is something someone threw on stage for me in Tacoma. It's a little edible that says eat me on it with a little key like Alice in Wonderland. It's kind of cool. I don't do edibles. You have no idea what that is. I don't, but it was something that landed on stage for me in Tacoma that says, a little edible that says eat me on it with a little key like Alice in Wonderland. It's kind of cool. I don't do edibles. You have no idea what that is. I don't,

but it was something that landed on stage. Do you want it, Lewis? Do you like edibles? No sugar, bro. Take a quarter of it. Come on. I just put a quarter

of it in my ass. I also, something that happens to me occasionally, someone will tweet at me. Put sugar in your ass? Someone will occasionally tweet at me and tell me

that I do too many Jew jokes on the show and that always makes me really upset so I brought Hanukkah candles just to piss that guy off that said that this morning. Fuck you, dude.

And no, he also said he liked me so I'm sure he's a good guy. But I think I brought the best prize today. Oh, really? I saved it for last. I'm glad you called me last.

I have an original vintage from that, not some fucking Target Graphics T bullshit, an original Star Trek for the Voyage Home T-shirt that I brought. I think it's kind of a prize. That's right, virgins.

It's even in your size, Jacob, ladies medium. It's not. It's a men's large. If it was a ladies medium, it wouldn't be in the bag. It's a size 3T. I can keep this bag too yeah you can that's nice put those candles in there that adderall just kicked in oh yeah what happens when it kicks in i don't know just my butt feels numb

okay we'll start with jacob on this this first question that I am going to ask. Because everyone else is going to be surprised by it, maybe. I don't know how much you listen to this show. But Jacob, what was the last movie you saw? You were there. It was Fifty Shades Darker. Oh my God. It was fun.

Horrible. I thought it was great. Yeah. It was a great movie. I mean, the first one was good, but this one was better, I thought. Stop it. Yeah, I'm joking. It was the worst. It was the, horrible. I thought it was great. Yeah. It was a great movie. I mean, the first one was good, but this one was better, I thought. Stop it. Yeah, I'm joking.

It was the worst. It was the fucking worst. Yeah, you haven't seen the first one. No, I haven't. Yeah, you jumped right to the second one. Yeah. No need, you know, you didn't feel lost at all, really.

I feel like this is kind of the Empire Strikes Back of the series. You know, you can go right to the second one. Yeah, it was interesting, and now i'm sort of committed to doing an interruption of uh part three which is called 50 shades freed oh fuck whatever that busy that day yeah yeah we haven't announced the date yet but i don't blame you but go ahead and you just go ahead and fill your calendar yeah that was rough uh and uh it was like it's so bad it was hard to have a good time that was rough. And it was like, it's so bad,

it was hard to have a good time even making fun of it. It was. The people that were there enjoyed themselves, yeah. It's fun to hate on something like that.

You know, because the world's too nice right now. It's fun to just go hate. Lewis, what was the last movie you saw? What percentage

of the movie do I have to have watched? A quarter. Oh, interesting. And also, is it a new movie or a movie that I'd seen before? It doesn't matter. Just the last movie you saw.

At least a quarter of? Some of. The Founder. Oh, okay. Why didn't you watch the whole thing? Fell asleep. But you know what was probably your most interesting part of the movie to you?

No. The invention of the quarter pounder. I got you. He enjoyed that one. He enjoyed that one very much. Other cities would have laughed at that. Do you intend to pick up on the rest of it or did you see enough?

Because I have not seen it all the way through myself. I think I got it. Right? I think I know what happens. Yeah. It's fine. Everyone gets fat. We kill everybody.

Cancer. That's the end of it, right? Everyone's got cancer. All the kids are fat. I don't think so. That's not the end of the founder? I haven't seen the end of it, as I just mentioned. I don't think that happened. He tells Vicki Vale he's the founder at the end of The Founder? I haven't seen the end of it, as I just mentioned. I don't think that happened.

He tells Vicki Vale he's the founder at the end. You want to get fries? Let's get fries. I like Michael Keaton a lot, but yeah, The Founder, his character is not sympathetic or even a villain. He's just sort of a guy that just fucked over some other guys. He's just sort of a guy that just fucked over some other guys. He's got a weird

head. The skin. I don't know, man. It's just not... Yeah, I don't like the skin on Michael Keaton's head. He's not Jack Bauer. He was never Jack Bauer, was he? Okay, never mind. That's Kiefer Sutherland. You talking about Michael Keaton?

You know what, guys? I quit. Can I just pick someone to give the prize to now? This guy's leaving. He's like, fuck this whole production. We're sorry, man. We're sorry. Fuck this whole production. We'll be funnier.

No, he just realized he wasn't wearing pants. He's calling the cops because we're giving out Adderall. Eric, have you seen any movies? I just saw one called Rumble. Just straight up Rumble? Just? I just saw one called Rumble. Just straight up Rumble? Just one word? It's called Rumble. It's at the New Art right now.

It's about the history of Native American music. And it... I know. Like comedy. This thing blew my mind. Yeah? It's at the New Art this week. What's Native American music?

Well, basically... Hey, how are ya? Hey, how are ya? Oh, week. What's Native American music? Well, basically... Hey, how are ya? Hey, how are ya? Oh, yeah. Who sang that? Smallpox Shakur? It's that for two hours. Yeah.

Who sang that? Smallpox Shakur? I feel like that didn't get a... I think we can say anything we want because we've got one of each on the panel tonight. Who's transgender again? Which one of you? I'll be that. Okay.

I got the beard for it. Is there a female version of Jacob you'd go with? Jacob Bolina? Or would you be like Bruce Jenner and be like, fuck it, and give yourself a whole different name? I think I'm kind of a Tammy. I like that

uh vanessa have you seen a movie uh i mean you know one or two but um uh i saw django unchained like last week at the new bev and 35 millimeter nice like it i was like i got it i I'm sorry. Like at midnight? Yeah, midnight. Okay. You'd seen it before, though. Uh-huh. And I was like, let's do it again. Yeah?

Yeah. Was it fun? I mean, it's cool seeing it in 35 millimeter. Did people cheer and stuff for things that happened? Just for the N-word. Just, yeah. Like when you see Jamie Foxx's junk, did go crazy? People just cheer when Because Tarantino Owns the theater

Yeah So people cheer When his name goes on And then it's silent In case he hears it In his home Exactly Gives everybody

Their big break He's got like a baby monitor In the theater And he sits at home And he just waits For people to cheer His name But yeah

It's a great Revival theater And they really They do show You know Prints of movies people that cheer his name. But yeah, it's a great revival theater and they really, they do show, you know, prints of movies instead of this digital nonsense.

And Glorious Bastards is next month. Any Jews want to go with me? Yeah, you really could through Tarantino. You really could develop friendships with all the different groups.

She's like the hottest girl I've ever met that talks like dudes that used to beat me up in high school. So that really makes her the hottest girl you've ever... Any Jews want to come? All right, now here's the tougher question that I ask everybody, and I gotta be careful about the time because we started a little late.

And so I want all my minutes. But I don't want to push the next show back too much. But we'll start with you, Jacob, because you've probably been thinking about it. Best movie I've never seen. Have you seen the film The D duelists with Harvey Keitel and David Carradine yes was it David or Keith it's Keith whoever it is it's early Ridley Scott yeah I think it's his first feature yeah yeah you've seen it seen it fuck it's good movie though right I. That's a really cool movie.

Thought it was boring. Really? We've had this discussion many times. Jacob likes things that are boring. To me. They're not boring to him, of course. I like two minutes of a guy sweeping up a floor in a bar. That's a Twin Peaks reference.

At least it was just two minutes. The fucking shovel painting. Did you get that far? Did you get to the shovel painting? No, but people told me about it Well, you gotta be kidding You paint shovels for eight minutes? It was a few minutes Of shovel painting

You gotta watch the movie about David Lynch And there's a documentary about him as a painter And it Like fucking watching paint dry Would be more entertaining than watching him sitting around puttering around doing his art but he seems like a cool dude sounds right up my alley i like it sounds boring i can't wait can't wait to have him on the show i'll invite you back when that happens please do yeah a lot of questions for that guy yeah but is but Eric, you can back me up on this.

Isn't his answer sort of like it's whatever you want it to be? Like he doesn't really have answers. Doug, you should focus on the donut, not the hole. That was really great. Yeah. Now say it in David Lynch's voice. He's everything you wanted to be.

He's like the nicest, coolest guy ever. And he's like the nicest coolest guy ever and he's like walking around with a cigarette and a fire extinguisher and a bullhorn the whole time it's amazing

what does he do with the fire extinguisher in case something happens we're covered because I'm not technically supposed to be smoking here oh that was probably

what he said to somebody when they said you can't smoke on the set he's like I don't have a fire extinguisher. Does he just hold it or does he wear like a Ghostbuster on his back? He carries it around with him. Wow.

Yeah. That's awesome. All right. He's so happy about it. Look how happy you are. When you went in to meet him, he probably just cast you a smiley right away because you're so happy to meet him.

You don't meet him. You go deep in the valley and the camera's on you when you go into the audition and then they ask you weird questions and everyone else is like playing it cool and i'm like i know i can't because i'm a nerd fan of the show so when they ask like you know why you're here i'm like yeah it's twin peaks and i started laughing and i think that's why that's it he's like he's out smiley yeah oh yeah and they had me on hold for two other things, and I didn't get it. And then you have no clue what you're doing. And then when you come in, he goes, I just knew I was a cop. But I'm like, I'm probably a bad guy in green.

And he was like, okay, you three are cops, but you're also brothers. And he's like, you're the baby. And boy, do you laugh a lot. And we all kind of like it. It keeps everything going. Okay. This is amazing. Nobody else needs to be here but me

and you right now. What, uh... I wrote down on this, look, on this piece of paper, I wrote down I allowed for time for 10 minutes of Twin Peaks talk. Right there, see? It says 10 minutes of Twin Peaks talk.

Then it says jizz right next to it. I knew that could happen. Wait, so you do the laugh on cue, obviously, because you had to. Can you do it now? 10 minutes of Twin Peaks talk. I knew that could happen. Wait, so you do the laugh on cue, obviously, because you had to. Can you do it now? No, but yeah, well, he would literally, he did everything. People are like, you must improvise. I'm like, no, he would do it like a marionette, where he'd go, okay, on this one, your brother's going to say something funny,

and I want you to kind of blurt out two and stop on the third. And I go, yes, okay, that'll work. That's so great. Bobby didn't do any of this shit for me. No? Nothing. Well, he's had 20 years of this. In 20 years I'll be jaded and, alright

kid, whatever. 20 years. 25 years. No, I meant looking forward for Eric. Can you imagine 20 years from now you're still smiley on Twin Peaks? Man. Are the numbers good? Is it doing

good? I don't know. I think subscriptions are up. I don't know. What network is it on? Showtime. There's your answer. I'm glad we have an investigative journalist on the panel. She's like,

what horseshit are we talking about right now? What is this? I only fuck with HBO, Jews. I used to work at HBO. I worked at HBO for like three years. What happened there?

I left. I feel like you've probably been writing the last two seasons of Game of Thrones because they're fucking horrible. Don't say shit about the last two episodes because I haven't seen the last two. On Doggloves television. Right?

Yeah. It's not TV. It's HBO. You worked there. You should know. That's why they fired her. Yeah. She's walking around going,

what's the slogan? What's the slogan now? She's like, I keep on forgetting. Who has got one? A great movie I've never seen. Did you see one called Goodbye Solo? Oh, man.

This movie stars, it came out maybe five, six years ago, and it stars a guy named Red West, who was Elvis' bodyguard, and he was a stuntman. And he got his first starring role when he was damn near 80 and it's a no budget movie made in the south and it's about this recent I think he's from Senegal

cab driver immigrant that drives this guy around and Red West wants to kill himself he's like I want you to drive me up that mountain and kill

I'm gonna kill myself and he's trying to talk him out of it but also he wants that fare it's really an interesting good movie I'm gonna take you there but I don't want you to kill yourself when you get there yeah I want the 50 to talk him out of it, but also he wants that fair. It's really an interesting, good movie. I'm going to take you there,

but I don't want you to kill yourself when you get there. Yeah, I want the 50, but maybe I can give you some love. Pay me and then don't kill yourself. Yeah, and I loved it. Goodbye Solo. Yeah, I liked it. Didn't Ron Howard take over

directing duties on that? Jacob with a solid Star Wars joke. What a surprise. What a surprise. What a twist. Lewis, have you thought of one? You know, a good old movie called Oceans 12. That's your favorite of the three? You know, it was a classic,

and I think it's pretty rare that, you know... I don't know, dude. I'm trying to think of a movie that's good that you wouldn't have seen. Right? It's a challenge. No, because all good movies, everyone's seen already. You haven't... Theoretically, that's what happens.

All right, I got one. Hidden Gems. I got one. Except Puerto Ricans. They've only seen 25% of all the good movies. That's all true. No, I remember there was one that I watched when I was on Mushrooms when I was in college,

and it was called Leolo. Leolo? Leolo. What's that about? It was like a subtitled movie. I think it was in French. I was fucked up, man. And yeah, dude, I know.

I remember it was like... Are you sure it's not called Goodbye, C-O-Lo? No. No. I was just watching NBC CISO. Oh. R.I.P.

Sorry, guys. Han Leolo. It was about a little kid and he grew up in this... Maybe it was in Italian. I don't know, kid And he like grew up in this Maybe it was an Italian I don't know dude But he grew up in this town And it just kind of followed him

It was kind of like fucked up It was him like I don't know I remember him fucking a piece of meat And like How do you think it's spelled? L-E-O-L-O That's what got you?

The fucking a piece of meat part? Like I gotta spell that I gotta fucking Google this shit No I always wanted to know How it was spelled I was just waiting For him to take a breath Leolo

Maybe French I'm gonna write next to it Or Italian It seems more likely Or Portuguese Leolo Oh Whatever you want it to be Doug

Alright Leolo Anyone? No? I win This might be the hidden gem I've been looking for That's right There is no movie named Leolo, Doug

What? I made it up You made up Leolo? No, it's out there Are you sure you're not thinking of Leolo and Stitch? Vanessa, do you have one? Do you like watch Wes Anderson movies?

Yeah, I've seen all of them, I think. Which one are you going to say? No. Blue Jasmine. What? The Woody Allen movie? You saw it?

Yeah. Fuck. Why do you like that so much? You saw it? Yeah. Fuck. Why do you like that so much? No, it was just the first thing that came to my head other than Wes Anderson. I don't know why. I don't know. It was made by Jews.

Aren't they all? Good ones. What, Eric? Was Blue Jasmine the one where he was in Paris? No, that's Midnight in Paris. The one in San Francisco with Louis C.K. No. You're thinking of Rugrats.

No, what's the lesbian? That's the lesbian movie? Blue Jasmine, right? No. Oh, that's a Woody Allen movie. Yeah. Fuck. What's that movie?

Oh, you're thinking of that long lesbian movie? You're thinking of Wonder Woman. What's that lesbian movie with the blue hair? Shades of blue. Blue is the warmest color. Have you seen that? Yeah. God damn it.

Yeah, what, three hour lesbian movie? You know I've seen it. You know I'm down for that. I didn't care that I had to read the whole time. Because I read between the lines. So stupid. But that was a good one just to recommend to people in general or in genital.

Okay, Bert, it's time to turn the show off because I'm going to say, let the games begin. We've got name tags. A few of them in this audience. Oh, a gentleman has a dollar bill. Is that a dollar bill?

Okay. Interesting name tag. All you got to do, panelists, is each go select a name tag of who you would like to play for this evening. Jacob wants to jump over the table at that dollar bill right now. I smelled it before he even pulled it out.

He's so excited about the dollar bill. Can I have the fat one? Yeah, just always bringing it to you. I'm keeping it and I'm keeping it. Yeah, I'm keeping it. Oh boy. Do we just point at the ones that we want? No, you can go physically get it

unless you want to make them bring it to you. I like that better. What's your thing? That works too. That one has weed. Wait, what? It's not really. Damn it.

We don't really need to discuss them now. What does yours say? Instead of alien. Uh-huh. All right, yeah. Everyone just get up and go get one. I'll get the Trejo donut box. Okay, he's going to getjo donut box okay he's gonna get

that donut box over there wow that was doesn't it come with you thanks all right if you want me yeah so i'm sorry normally i would go to commercial during what just happened but uh it's all happened so we're going to we're going to go to commercial anyway we'll be right back we're back that's the most efficient name tag selecting yeah and so the thing

you gotta stay away from you guys is everybody's written a shithead probably on the back or somewhere on the name tag and that's their consolation prize

if you lose tonight so don't say that out loud and I'll say it at the end of the show if you lose and you know Jacob Jacob's lost

I have once or twice yeah I if i i mean if i lost a panel with three noobs i'd be that'd be pretty shameful but you know i i was getting cocky for a second and i went then cheeseman dale dale dale cheeseman put me in my place and he'd be one he beat me twice in a row once was questionable but yeah i've been i've been uh i've been trying to be a little more humble about it. All right. But Luis told me backstage, he's, I said Luis, sorry, I just fucking ethniced your name up for you.

You're a piece of shit. I know. He told me that he's very competitive, but he doesn't know that much about movies. So I'm wondering how this is going to play out. You know, why'd you tell the other competitors that I told you that? His name is pronounced Luis.

Luis. Gomez. Gomez. Gomez. And he got donuts. But let's talk about who you're playing for though because it's a dollar bill. A dollar bill, you know,

I guess that's my inner Tammy. Some guy pulls a one out and I fucking... And he wrote Too Rich, Too Furious on it. I'm assuming his name is Furious because he's a black dude and Rich is a little too basic I'm assuming his name is Furious because he's a black dude.

And Rich is a little too basic. Your name's Furious, right? Yeah, that's my boy Furious. So yeah, I'm playing for him. I'm keeping the dollar. But also, I just don't see enough black people at this venue, so that was the main reason I picked you. My favorite hockey players are the black hockey players.

I always go for the black dude in the non-black situation, that's like a thing that I'm into. The band in Living Color, you know, you get the idea. Can you use the dollar after it's been? Oh yeah, you can totally use it. Really? Touched by a Jew?

Yeah, you can use it. Yeah. I'm gonna pay it forward and give it to a black stripper. Okay. Luis, you found some donuts the Trejo's donuts yeah

I'm excited there's real donuts in here too and the guy just wrote David on the box his name is David David Trejo

your last name is Trejo no no well thank you David I appreciate it very smart good job he knows that comedians are poor and fat, so.

Are you excited to eat all those donuts? I can't fucking have the donuts because I'm not doing sugar. Oh, perfect. Here you go. Because what I like to do is throw them back at the crowd. Yeah. That's what happens, Luis. Yeah.

If David was funny, he would have came on every one of those donuts. If he has just one ounce of funny in him. You'd have to. Of course. Why wouldn't you come on those donuts? Yeah, they look like nice ones. Oh, I'm going to throw it right into that hat? Oh!

Holy shit! And he put it in his mouth! Oh my god. It was his hat. He looks like he put it in his mouth. Oh my god. It was his hat. He looks like he does that all the time. My skyhook hit the mic. What a hilarious girly throw you had.

That was crazy. Skyhook, he keeps saying. Well, nobody wants a donut when it's on the floor. Never just throw a dirty donut at your audience. That's the point. There we go. That's a metaphor for my comedy.

Alright, everybody's catching them. There's one more. Do you want to throw one, Vanessa? Sure. Vanessa, show Jacob how to throw. This is how you do it, Jew. Oh, shit. Well done.

Put it right in the hands of the receiver. Hit him in the numbers. Yeah. Very well done. All right. We're going to play a series of games. Oh, sorry. Let's find out who you're playing for there, Eric.

Nicole, who attached a free bomber in a tube tube, which these are amazing. You light them, and then you drop them right in and all oxygen is cut off. Yeah, you seal it up again. It's changed concerts forever. Can you do the rest of the show as David Lynch? I was really into that. Yeah, what would David Lynch do with that joint?

Well, I'd probably meditate first truthfully, Doug. There's a lot more answers there. That's a talent. That's a talent. Wait, so you're playing for Nicole, and she wrote Thor Ragnarok on there. Thor Ragnacolrock on that big sign.

There's this movie coming out called Thor Ragnarok, and Nicole really got her name in there very cleverly. She put the countdown, the day countdown. She put 65 days on there for you too. Oh, nice. Oh, I didn't say it at the top of this one. 65 days till Ragnarok. This is quality.

Like this smells incredible. She didn't just put a free joint. It says a lot about you as a human, truly. Thank you. That is quality. Great work, Nicole. Vanessa, who do you got there? I got Nico Libre who caught the donut in his hat. that is quality. Great work, Nicole. Vanessa, who do you got there? Uh,

I got Nico Libre who caught the donut in his hat. Uh, really proud to represent him. Um, it's an honor, sir.

It's an honor. All right. Uh, so we're going to play a series of games and, uh, the winner of each game

gets to go first in the next game until the last game and then the winner of that game will be the person who whoever you're playing for will get all the prizes.

Lewis just pointed at the guy reminding me of an old timey moment in a baseball movie where as he's going to the plate he points to things and then makes it happen. We're not going to the plate, he points to things and then makes it happen. We're not going to the park, Doug. Okay.

This first game is called Live, Die, Repeat. I'm going to say the title of a motion picture. First person who repeats it back correctly wins. Huh? Yeah, get ready. Sounds easy, but it's not. Wait, let me get this straight.

So you say the name and we just say it back to you? Uh-huh. Only someone who's high would be like, this is going to be a challenge. This is a really good game. Well, it is a challenge because you can't all do it. I feel like I have an advantage because I'm closer to you, so the sound will hit me first.

You think that's how sound works? Interesting. And we're all coming through the same PA, dude. The trouble is you've got to get it. You've got to repeat back the exact right title. So from the first few words, you might not know the exact title. Then again, maybe you will.

You just call it out. Yeah, just say it. Just say it all as fast as you can. Put your phone away, Jacob. It's not going to help you. Let's put an Instagram story. I'm typing it in there.

For my boy Fury. This is just, of course, as always, between the people on stage. If you know it, the audience, don't shout it out. Here's the title. Oh. Oh, brother, where art thou? Dad. Dad.

Poor. Oh brother where are they? Dad Poor Dad Mamas Hung you In the closet Is this a porn? What is this? And I'm feeling So So And I'm feeling so sad.

Oh, dad, oh, dad. Oh, dad. I'm sorry, Nico. Poor dad. Mama's hung you in the closet and I'm feeling... Someone just needs to repeat that back. I'm feeling...

Oh, dad. Oh, dad. Poor dad. Mama's hung you in the closet and I'm feeling so sad. Jacob is our winner! That's a movie? That's a real movie?

That's a real fucking title of a movie. Is that what Lolio translates to or something? From 1967 starring Rosalind Russell and Jonathan Winters. And it always, my whole life that's always been a title I go to is just a ridiculous, you know, maybe not as bad as who is Seraronimus Merkin and why is he saying all these terrible things about me but that one might

might come into play on this game too because it's hard it's hard I just got a fucking headache I'm sorry you should have taken that Adderall man

it's really helpful Jesus Christ alright well this next game so Jacob won that one sort of Jacob Jacob was the best at that the best at that.

The best is sitting there staring at me like, what is happening? I was doing like fucking, like it was a riddle in my head. I was trying to go the opposite words. Let's try another one real quick. Fuck you, Doug. He's going to MMA.

The Godfather. The Godfather. Yes, even Evan knows how to do it. Nico. Wow. I love you. The Godfather. Yes, even that one knows how to do it. Nico, I love you. She's good. Okay, one more, one more. Snow Dogs.

Snow Dogs. There's never been a group of four people that excited about Snow Dogs. This is how they brainwash people. They're just like, repeat after me. Cuba Gooding Jr.'s family. Cuba Gooding Sr., Cuba Gooding Jr. The Goodings love to all just yell

snowdogs. When they're going to brunch. Alright. Who's up for brunch? Snowdogs! Let's play ABCD's Nuts! Let's get nuts! Chim! Chim! Alright, so this is a game where Let's play ABCD's Nuts! Let's get nuts!

All right, so this is a game where it's a spelling game, and since Jacob won the first game, he gets to go first. And then we'll go to Louis and then Eric and Vanessa. One at a time. We're going to spell out something, and by that I mean we're going to use the first letter. We're going to lose all the letters, but we're going to start with the first letter. And in honor of Eric tonight, we're going

to spell Twin Peaks. I feel like that's in honor of me, too. A little bit. In honor of one of the stars of Twin Peaks and a guy who is very familiar with what has happened on all of Twin Peaks. Yeah, who is very familiar with what has happened on all of Twin Peaks.

You've seen it all. Opening night in the theaters. You've seen all that shit. Big deal. We start with the letter T. All Jacob has to do is name any movie that begins with the letter T. But if he writes down the movie that I wrote down

ahead of time on this piece of paper, he wins. Yeah. Lewis, you're going to probably get the letter W. Unless Jacob can't think of any movie that begins with the letter T. An example, of course, would be The Godfather. Go. Twin Peaks Firewalk with me?

That would be a fun twist for me to throw that on there At the beginning But I went with The Elephant Man Ah Sometimes a theme emerges Lewis The letter is W Just name any movie that begins with the letter W The same one you're going to think of

Dude I know it is I got to do a different one. I know it. W. Any movie that begins with W. I want to get the one that he thinks of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

That is a great guess. Can I? I went with... Wild at Heart. Yeah, that's right. Fuck! Eric, the letter is I. I?

Yeah. Any movie that begins with I. I got it. And does it have to do with David Lynch? You tell me. Ah. Oh no. I Love Trouble?

No. May I talk? Alright, Jacob. That would be Inland Empire. Yeah, that's right. Jacob. That would be Inland Empire. Inland Empire. Yeah, that's right. See, Jacob figured this shit out. What the fuck did he figure out? What am I missing here?

The next letter for Vanessa is N. Any movie that begins with N. I wish I had S. Social Network. Okay. I don't know any movies other than Social Network that David Fincher did at the top of my head right now. What?

Isn't it a David Fincher movie? No. Oh, okay. I wasn't paying attention. You fucked that up in two ways. I was like, I didn't even know this movie was on by David Fincher.

Uh, N. Also wrong letter. Wrong guy, wrong letter. Yeah, you are so off. You said N. Network? The social network no I said I wish it was S

oh N any movie begins with N I know just to stay in the game right you don't have to match me okay

Nightmare Before Christmas there's a stickler in the crowd what's wrong with him it's called A Nightmare Before Christmas There's a stickler In the crowd What's wrong with them? It's called A Nightmare Before Christmas Oh Darn it

Yeah So it's wrong? No Okay Jacob The next letter Of course is P Well you didn't say

You didn't say yours Oh not another Teen movie Classic That is my favorite David Venture movie So good Oh, not another teen movie. Classic. That is my favorite David Lynch movie. So good. Jacob gets P.

Okay. Yeah, there's not enough letters to... I mean, David Lynch hasn't made enough things to cover all these letters. No. Yeah. So you just have to say something that begins with P. I want to get the right one, though. Yeah, you might as well get the right one.

Just say that. Just say the right P title. If there's a movie called Pepperoni Pizza, I would have picked it I don't think there is a Lynch one So I'm going to just say Peter Pan No I wrote down Predestination

Oh fuck We've been talking about it a lot lately E is your letter Lewis That's an M We've been talking about it a lot lately. E is your letter, Lewis. That's an M. E. Oh, I like the way you're doing this. You just say a long E and then drop right into it.

Evil Dead. Evil Dead. No. I went with Eraserhead. A. Eric. A. A. A. Nightmare Before Christmas.

Nightmare Before Christmas. Is that what you want to go with? No. If I wrote it down, is that what you wanted to go with? Yeah, that's what I'm going with. I did not write it down. Oh, shit.

I don't want to go with it. I wrote down Annie. Ah. The black version. You have to specify. Ah. Like on IMDB is the official subtitle.

Well, Blanny is what some people call it. I know, that's rude. Don't do that. It's a Christmas classic. Vanessa gets the letter K. Fuck. Not a word that ends with the letter K yeah

dude I fail at this game I don't know it's a panicky situation well no I've been thinking about it for the last like 5 minutes and you can't think of anything that begins with K I went through every Disney princess movie every Marvel movie every Disney movie or. Every Marvel movie. Every Disney movie.

Or DC movie. Disney movie. I think I had some of your vape pen accidentally. Like the second hand vape pen. Shit. I'm going to get kicked out. I'm sorry Nico.

Oh pass. Thanks. Jacob K. You got to answer K now. Here I was Yeah You gotta answer K now Okay K Here it is Answer it K K That's not so easy

Kill Bill Volume 1 Fuck Right here on this piece of paper I've written down Kill Bill Volume 2 Shit That's like a 25% Puerto Rican win right there. That's what that is.

Look at that shit. Volume two. That's what it says. Yeah, yeah. Got you, buddy. For the win, this is your last chance, Lewis. This is it, baby. S.

S. It's not a David Lynch movie or a David Fincher movie. Just mind meld with me and say the classic S movie that I wrote down. Give me a hint, dude. Come on, man. Alright, it's a motion picture. Go. Alright, alright, alright.

It's not a still. It's a whole movie. Snakes on a Plane. Oh, I like the way you did that. But I went with Silverado. Oh! Yeah, so.

Second favorite S movie. No winner of the ABCD's Nuts. Let's get nuts! So Jacob gets to start us off in a round of Last Man Stanton. We've got... By the clock on the wall, I figure we've got about 17 minutes or less

to wrap this up. And Last Man Stanton is a game where I'm going to take some pre-selected audience members, step outside, get really high with them, and we'll see you guys later. Because once I go outside and get high, I might as well just go home. No, we're going to get some names. Maybe more than one name.

We'll see how this plays. But we're going to get at least one name of an actor, and we have to take turns naming movies that person's been in. And Jacob's going to get to go first, but we'll switch the order around. I like to play along, so I'll go second, then Vanessa, then Eric, then Louis.

And I preselected somebody in the audience who did not write back to me. Someone wrote that they're very excited to be here tonight because it's their first time seeing Doug Loves Movies in person after being a longtime fan and seeing me do other shows. And I wrote back, hey, do you have a name for Last Man Standing? And there was no response. But someone else responded, oh, I've got a name.

If he doesn't have a name. But let's go to him first and see if he's thought of something where is famous diarrhea are you're here famous diarrhea I've heard of you you have all the diarrhea's you're the best known there's really more infamous diarrhea. Yeah, right? We want a diarrhea that's on the run from the law. Not just well known. But famous diarrhea. Have you ever thought to yourself, if I got picked on, if I got chosen to name somebody

for Last Man Stanton, this is who I would say? You got one of those? Yeah. Who do you think, who would you like? How about Charlie Sheen? Oh, that's some famous diarrhea to be sure. The great Charlie Sheen. Alright.

Probably not enough though. We probably need another one. You got the panel doesn't seem that pumped about Charlie Sheen. I got Chuck Sheen. I got deep Chuck Sheen. Oh, you think? You think he can go deep? There's only deep so deep he can go. I'd mash him up. I mean, I got like two, three. Oh, you did? I got deep suction. I think you can go deep. There's only deep so deep you can go. I'd mash them up.

I mean, I got like two, three. Okay, that might get you a waist, but let's sweeten the pot here with the names. This other guy that reached out to me and says, if famous diarrhea can't pull this off, I'm your man. Jeremy underscore Silveira? Yep. You don't know Famous Diarrhea? I don't.

How'd you find his tweet? Just snooping around my shit? They'll appear. It'll show you, like, people that you like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you follow me, you saw me talking to him. Exactly. And you were like, I've got a name. Yep. What's your name? Hugo Weaving. Hugo? Yeah, because you follow me, you saw me talking to him. And you were like, I've got a name.

What's your name? Hugo Weaving. Hugo Weaving? I'm into it. Fuck you, Jeremy. Yeah, I know. Hey, he could have said Emilio Estevez. Can't you have like a Brad Pitt or something?

It had to happen someday, but if you guys will give me a couple minutes, I'm going to murder an audience member. Someone else said Hugo Weaving one other time. It might have been on a lost show, but we rejected it. We just said, fuck that. Fuck Hugo Weaving. Alright, so Hugo Weaving.

And what did you say, Vanessa? Brad Pitt? Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Do you have one, Lewis, that you like? Just any actor that I like? Yeah. Alicia Cuthbert. Wow.

You fucking weirdo. Fucking, that is... I take back the murder of this gentleman. I focus all of my murder on you. The great Elisha Cuthbert. You know you can't say 24. She played his daughter. Speaking of Kiefer Sutherland, you're obsessed with him.

I love Kiefer. You're obsessed with Kiefer. Why did you say him then? You know what? Too late. Kiefer Sutherland was... Cuthbert or nothing. Sutherland was in Twin Peaks Firewalk with me.

Then why are you... Don't do that. Okay, that's fine. Sutherland. Cuthbert or nothing. Sutherland was in Twin Peaks Firewalk with me. Then why are you, don't do that. Okay, that's fine. Sutherland. Yeah, that's fine. All right, so all of those names, all you got to do

when it's your turn is name a movie that's got Charlie Sheen, Hugo Weaving, Brad Pitt, or Elisha Cuthbert. So Brad Pitt. Yeah, and no lifelines.

You're all on your own because you got four names to pick between. So we're going to just fire around. Try not to take too long to think. Jacob, start us off. California with Brad Pitt. How is that spelled?

With a K. Thank you. As long as we're talking Brad Pitt, I'm going to say my favorite Brad Pitt title. The Mexican. Lewis' least favorite. There's a boxing rivalry that goes back a long time.

The La Jolla Trinidad. Not cool, dude. Vanessa? Seven. Yeah. I mean, we write it down with a little seven instead of a V. They do that on like a direct TV. I just thought that movie was coming on like a Cinemax or something.

It's real hard to figure out how to spell lucky number seven. S-L-7-E-V. Eric? If we're saying Brad Pitt, I'll go. Brad Pitt You can switch it up to anybody Don't have to stick to Brad Pitt I like eating up all the Brad Pitt stuff Vanessa freaks out Fuck you man

I'll go A River Runs Through It Oh okay Somebody sensitive Surprised Lewis Okay. Somebody sensitive. Surprised? Louis. Thelma and Louise. Oh, you really are going after her. Oh, yeah.

That's a good one. Jacob. 12 Monkeys. Wow, everybody's going after Vanessa. That doesn't seem cool. True romance. And glorious bastards. Yeah.

I don't know how it's spelled, though. Because he spells it wrong on purpose. Fight club. If they rebooted that, would you want to be in it? Yeah. Could you grow those meatloaf tits? Yeah. We're already working on it, baby.

Already working on it? Yeah. It's a five-year plan. Already preparing for a role that doesn't exist. Oh, yeah. Stay and remake Fight Club. I'm ready. Deeply method. I'm going to have meatloaf tits.

Come on. Bitch tits. I'll be ready,'m going to have meatloaf tits. Come on. Bitch tits. I'll be ready, yeah. All right, Lewis? Snatch. Oh, wow. You guys are really going hard on her. How about the Alicia Cuthbert classic Young Guns?

Oh, I see what happened. Wait, who's in that? Charlie Sheen. Oh, okay. Had to double check. Oh, we're jumping over to Sheen oh okay had to double check oh we're jumping over to Sheen are we I don't mind a Sheen jump Ferris Bueller's Day Off

is he in that mmhmm oh shit he plays the guy that's like hey Ferris what are you doing today let me make out

with your sister turns out I have it off is he in Charlie's Angels who Charlie Sheen? He's not the Charlie they refer to in the title, Charlie's Angels. He had a couple of whores around his house

that he called that. Who played... I'm just playing word association right now. I heard... Charlie's Angels. Angels in the outfield. I don't know. Charlie used to like to put in the chocolate factory

of those angels I think dude okay Achilles what? Brad Pitt movie that's not what it's that's his character

in the movie yeah it's called Achilles where does it take place? it's fucking in Rome in like a million years ago I say we give it to her it was called what was it called

if it's not called Achilles why not she's great. You're almost there. You probably fuck dudes with the name of this movie. Literally. Like I would wager you have.

It's called Achilles, isn't it? It's called... Can I say it? No, you can't say it because someone else gets to use it if she doesn't say it right. Yeah. Just name the last three douchey fuzz.

Not cool, Jacob. It wasn't Jacob, right? No, it wasn't. You've never had sex with a Jacob. How about... Just pick a different one. You'll find out soon enough what you're saying wrong. Because I'm going to dive on it.

But you've got another Brad Pitt movie. Those are the only ones I've seen. Oh, man. What about that one where he was like, hey, what's going on? Oh, Interview of the Vampire. That's the one I meant.

There you go. I didn't finish it. I was going to say, and then Tom Cruise was like, I'm a vampire. That's the one I meant. There you go. I didn't finish that. I was going to say and then Tom Cruise is like, I'm a vampire. The movie that you meant is called Troy.

Fuck, you're right. It is Troy. Yeah. Jacob. So you see how good the joke was now. Oh, wait. I fucked up the order.

It wasn't even my turn. So Troy's off the table. I went wrong turn. Eric. Major League. Quality, great. You got an applause bugging break? Hey, I mean this guy was thinking about suggesting Bob Euchre instead of Hugo Weaving.

So same result either way. Obviously, sequels are now off the table, right? No, you can do any movie. Really? Yeah. That's part of the fun. That's a lot. You've got to get the title just right. Really? A full title? Full title. Smooth. Zach Verbage. I like it.

Cool world. That's a good one. Yeah, good job, Jacob. V for Vendetta what that's Hugo Weaving yeah he's in that he's V

he is that he plays the V by the way if you listen you can hear Vanessa think no because I didn't know who that actor was

but I love that movie yeah that's him he's also in another movie you might maybe know I didn't know who that actor was, but I love that movie. Yeah, that's him. He's also in another movie you might maybe know. I don't know. Might be the best movie you've never seen. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Yeah, no.

It's no To Wong Fu, I'll give you that. What do you got there, Vanessa? Wasn't that dude in Underworld? Which dude? Hugo weaving yeah hmm yeah the he plays the the dad the angry Marco in what in because I remember something like oh that's the V for Madonna go and I was In Underworld? Yeah, he plays the old vampire guy. You're sure you're not thinking of Kate Beckinsale? No, that's a girl. Yeah, you remember she was killing Lycan? Eric. Red Dawn.

Now more than ever. That's a Sheen. Charlie Sheen. Yeah, okay. Louis. The girl next door. Yeah. Oh, Cuthbert time Jacob?

The Matrix Yeah That's a good one But I gotta go back To Cuthbert I'm excited I know a Cuthbert There you do

Old school Yeah you do Ah dude She was in high school In that movie Getting very Puerto Rican In here She was in high school in that movie. It's getting very Puerto Rican in here. Vanessa, do you got another one?

So who is the chick? She was the porn star in The Girl Next Door. And she was the girl that had sex with Luke Wilson in old school. And then then is like, oh, by the way, I'm in high school. And he's like, what? She's also the girl in the Weezer Perfect Situation video. All right, you Weezer. Okay, I just feel like someone will tweet me about that. You Weezer nerd.

Also Jack Bauer's daughter on 24. Yeah, so we're pretty much... She's a dead end at this point. Yeah. So you want a Brad Pitt or a Charlie Sheen

or Hugo Weaving yeah but still not sure if she's clear who Hugo Weaving is Nico I'm sorry doesn't he have a

Guy Fawkes mask on most of the time in V for Vendetta yeah the whole time yeah there you go but his voice he's been he's on a King's speech this Geoffrey Rush he was in the matrix I think I lose all right she loses Eric Wall Street who's? Wall Street. Oh. Who's on Wall Street? Charlie Sheen. It's kind of one of my favorite acting moments of all time because Martin Sheen is with

Charlie Sheen in an elevator. He's not happy with him. And he says this long sentence that ends with and I don't judge a man by the size of his wallet! He just suddenly screams wallet,

and it's just like, wow, that is a choice. Wallet! Okay, there's no reason to yell that. Coin purse! Coin purse! Am I making you nervous, Lewis? No way. What do you got?

I just got like four in a row in my fucking head. Oh, here we go. It's over, dude. Hot shots. Oh, Jacob. The Matrix Reloaded. Okay. I'll go The Matrix Revolutions.

Eric. Hot shots, part deux. I'll go The Matrix Revolutions Eric Hot Shots Part Deux Yes You motherfucker Sorry I respect you for going in You still got two more By that earlier count

Men at Work Yes That is true The Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring Oh That's a Hugo Weaving I'm going to go with Charlie Sheen in

The Chase. Christy Swanson, right? Wait, are you sure that's what that was called? Yeah. There's another thing he's in. That's like that? That you might be thinking of. Maybe.

That's the one with Christy Swanson? I remember he was really rude to her in interviews after that movie. Yeah, he wasn't nice. Yeah. Commented on her vaginal odor. Eric. Eight men out.

That's a good one. I didn't make that up, by the way. Louis. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Whoa. Jacob. Lord of the Rings The Two Towers

You cocksucker That was Elisa Cuthbert That was her name You cocksucker part three I'll have to go with So intense I want to do another Brad Pitt Oh, oh, oh, oh

Burn before reading After reading, sorry I'm out Are you? Yeah, that's how strict I am He pulls out a gun and kills himself You got it. I said the other thing.

We got to wrap this up. We got one minute. Eric? Platoon. Whoa. Ooh, fuck you. Yes, he was. All right.

Hugo Weaver was great in that. Dude, am I fucking fucking out Are you out? No no no Come on dude No dude I got it Do it for David Trejo's Coffee and Donuts Fuck dude David

I'm trying to do this for you bro Brad Pitt man He's been in so many movies Yeah He was in He doesn't do a lot of sequels though You gotta think of those different titles. Five seconds.

Legends of the Fall. Nice. Pull. Now go back to thinking. Don't wait until your turn. I don't want to be that guy, but didn't I say Legends of the Fall? No. River Runs Through an Asshole.

You said River Runs Through. You're right. Interchangeable movies. Interchangeable. They really are. That'll bite me. Jacob? A movie we disagreed on, War Machine.

Yeah. It's a fucking Netflix movie. Well, speaking of Brad Pitt and war movies, he fucking loves that shit. Fury. Great movie. Saving Private Ryan. Damn it! Fuck you, dude!

All right, so you're out? You know what, guys? Use your microphone voice. You can't give me a second. I can. One. Fuck. All right.

Here it is, man. Final fucking thought. I'm out. Oh, shit. Apologies to what shows on after us. Jacob? Johnny Suede. Oh, you son of a bitch.

I'm going to eat more. Yeah, he's doing pretty good. I'm out, Eric. Ocean's 12. Oh, no. Oh, no. I see where this is going. Ocean's 11. Ocean's 11. Oh, no. Oh, no. I see where this is going. Ocean's 11.

Ocean's 11, says Jacob. Ocean's 13. Battle the sequels. Back to you, Jacob. I just said Brad Pitt doesn't do sequels. It's a great example. Lord of the Rings, Return of the King. Wall Street 2.

Full title. Full title title Greed is good Oh shit No don't say it yet Do you want to change your answer Greed is still good I meant to another movie Major League 2 Is there a full title on that Nope There's not That's the whole thing right It's just Major League 2 Major League 2 Is there a full title on that?

Nope There's not? That's the whole thing right? It's just Major League 2 There's also Major League 3 Back to the Minors There you go That's where they start

Fucking kids He's not in that He's not in that one Who you go weaving? Yeah Do you got another one Jacob? Sure I want to waste...

We got to end this thing. Okay. Bring it home. Wall Street, Money Never Sleeps. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The Curious Case of Charles Watt. What?

No. Wasn't that... Did I have that title wrong? It's like an indie Chuck Sheen movie. What? Charles Swan, he's right. No. But thank you for knowing where I was going, friend.

No, I got it. That's not what it is yeah that's wild that you made a mistake of that title is also go ahead Jacob oh it's the curious case of Benjamin Button it's Brad Pitt

and there's a curious case movie with Charlie Sheen in it that's bizarre yeah yeah but maybe not a unexpected Jacob Searoff is our winner yes he bought all this for a dollar come get everything here. I got it. Congratulations.

And everybody else, pass your name tags down here. Real quickly, we'll start with Jacob. What do you got to plug? Oh, just social media, Instagram, Twitter. Jacob's there off 1F. Okay. That's it. Very cool. Check out my podcast.

Legion of Skanks. At Louis it. Very cool. Check out my podcast. Lewis J. Gomez podcast. Legion of Skanks. And yeah, at Lewis J. Gomez. And that's that. Yeah, Legion of Skanks. Check it out. You'll love it. Yeah, I think you will.

I've been a guest on that. I had a very nice time. Eric? Watch We Bare Bears on Cartoon Network. And then I have a movie coming out called Flower and Family that has the insane clown posse in it. So, yeah. Get ready for that. All right.

Vanessa Johnston. You can follow me on Instagram at Vanessa V. Johnston. I'm at Flappers tomorrow. Crushing Flappers. No. UCB. And Twitter at Vanessa Johnstew with two O's. Okay. Vanessa Johnstonew with two O's. Okay.

Vanessa Johnstew was taken, so. Goddamn. Yeah. Did you reach out to her? You know what? I thought about it, but then I was like, she's in New Zealand doing her thing with two followers, so whatever.

I haven't looked into it much, but you know. Yeah. I think you did the right thing. And thank you to all the panel this evening. It was a lot of fun. Jacob Seroff, Louis J. Gomez, Eric Edelstein, and Vanessa

Johnstew. Johnson, and as always, my credit score is a shithead? Or you mean that place, mycreditstore.com? Your personal credit score is a shithead? Or you mean that place, mycreditstore.com? Your personal credit score is a shithead. Okay.

Joel Osteen? Osteen? Joel Osteen is a shithead? And everyone else having a dog is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.