Doug Loves Movies - Eric "Quint" Vespe, Joe Parsons and Alex Diamond guest

Episode Date: September 23, 2017

Live from Fantastic Fest in Austin, Doug welcomes Eric "Quint" Vespe, Joe Parsons and Alex Diamond to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody! My name is Doug, and I love movies! This is Doug Loves Movies! See, now, right there, they should have, the staff of the highball should have looked

at the people that weren't saying that and know those are the people they need to get rid of. They just made multiple announcements to keep it down in the back, and guess what's going on in the back? They're not keeping it down. All right, so... I forget, from year to year,

like, do they usually settle down at some point? Or is it bad the whole time? What about the shaking cocktails, right, 10 feet from me? We're at the highball, for Christ's sake! That's right, we're in Austin, Texas! Yes! It's Friday, September 22nd, 2017.

Day two of Fantastic Fest. Are you guys having a fantastic fest? Did people that live here in Austin but don't have badges at the festival get in to here today? Good, that's exactly how I wanted to go. I get messages from people saying, if I show up, am I going to get today? Good. That's exactly how I wanted to go. I get messages from people saying, if I show up, am I going to get in? I'm like, yeah, I think so. I don't want to get anybody mad at me.

Also, we... At Cap City the other night, I ate, like, one macaroni cheese ball and got two complaints on Twitter from people saying they don't like hearing me eat food on a podcast. I know, I wrote back. I've been doing this show 11 years.

Can I have one fucking cheese ball? It must have been 30 seconds of torture for that guy. And don't forget that... Oh, look, there's the hoverboard again. Don't forget that if you're thinking you can get away with using your festival badge as a name tag, it's not going to fly. I want to see some genuine name tags.

I know we got Sister Act 2's Zach in the habit in the front row, because I saw that one on the internet today. No Caitlin for old men. I've seen that one before, haven't I? What's yours say, dude? Magnificent Seven. Magnificent Seven?

And they did quiet down in the back, by the way, which is awesome. Unlike those fucking crickets out of Meltdown Comics in LA. They won't I can't get them to ever shut up. What's this Star Wars one right here? The Force of Jakins. You guys make me sadder with each one I say out loud. What's this Back to the Future one? It's Zack to the Future. Alright. That's what I suggested to Zack in the hood over here.

And he's like, did it already. Didn't get picked. But that nun costume. And then it says whoopee in big letters at the top. And then what's that a bowl of? Donuts. In a bowl? Donut holes in a bowl.

All right. a bowl? Donut holes in a bowl. Alright. I think that guy's the living dead. Alright. Thanks to everybody who brought name tags and thanks to everybody for coming in here to the

bar on a Friday afternoon to watch this. Doug plugs. Doug Loves Movies is back at the aforementioned Cricket Room in Meltdown Comics on Monday night, October 2nd. Then St. Louis on Saturday, October 7th. LA Podfest at 6 o'clock

on Sunday, October 8th. That's the Biltmore Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. Kansas City, Missouri, October 12th. Atlanta, October 15th. It goes on and on and on. Raleigh, Phoenix, and more. Plus, Doug Lowe's Movies is back right here in Cap City

in Austin on Monday, December 18th as part of the Tate Crazy Nights Tour where Jeff Tate and I are going to do Doug Lowe's Movies in eight cities in eight days from Los Angeles to Orlando

December 13th through 20th and the 18th will be here in Austin. For more info on these shows and more go to

douglosmovies.com That's douglosmovies.com Yeah! Everyone in the back is like what is happening? We're in the standing room only

during a cult meeting. I brought a prize bag and of course the bag is the Fantastic Fest bag that they gave me yesterday. I'm kind of sad to part with it because it's a fez with a giant eye on it or a giant fez with a regular size eye on it. I don't know.

However you want to look at it. But I put a bunch of stuff in here. Let's see what we've got. We've got a card from Getting Doug With High. We got a... Oh, this is nice. When I was at Hershey Park in Hershey, Pennsylvania, I got a poncho so you could walk around in the rain.

So I'm giving that away. One of my CDs. A book that was made by the art in the book is by a friend of mine who's a regular on the show. His name's Doogie Horner and the book's coming out soon. It's called Kid Authors

and there's illustrations throughout of a bunch of famous authors like what they look like and what they did when they were children. It looks cool and cute, and I can't wait to not read it. No, he's going to send me one to keep. That's a giveaway one. This might come in handy here

in Austin, because, you know, weed is not as legal as it should be. This is one of those bags that it's got like a... You can put your weed in it. It's got a safety lock on it you know I mean so you could like leave the house go hey kids play with this for a while I can't get into it they just have fun with a white white bag and this is pretty cool it really it's funny how the restrooms are placed just so that everyone has to just cruise by me trying to go to the bathroom.

I'll try not to comment when it happens. But I got this from the hotel room. I think you're allowed to take these. It's Celebrate Austin with Willie Nelson. An Austin original.

And he's playing in town tonight, right? Yeah, so thanks for coming to this instead, but you still get to go home with a little Willie. Or maybe you're doing both. Who's doing both? Okay, probably not. But just in case you were, and you met up with Willie after the show

And you needed something to smoke out of Here's a rubber peacemaker pipe With Christmas style All of that Plus the stuff brought by my guests So let's get them out here Please give a big warm welcome to

Joe Parsons, Eric Vespi And Alex Diamond! Hey, fellas. Hi. Let's talk to you individually. All right. You're last. Fair enough. Let's start with our first timer

The guest of the show that's here for the first time You know him as Quint On the Ain't It Cool News website Please give it up for Eric Vespi everybody Hi everybody So excited to have you on the show And you know You obviously know a lot about movies.

And back in the green room, you seemed a little bit cocky, but also unsure. That's how I go through life. Perfect attitude. Why not be a combination of Luke and Han? You don't have to be one or the other. Obviously, when you see me in person, that's what you think of. Somewhere in between Luke and Han Solo. Yeah, all right.

And how are you enjoying the festival so far? Did you see something last night? I did, but if we're going to be talking about what I saw last, I will be jumping ahead of the game. Oh, you're telling me as the host to save that question for later? It's cool. It is kind of unfair to say what have you seen at the festival, because you probably have only seen one thing so far. That is, it's only day two. It is kind of unfair to say what have you seen at the festival because you probably

have only seen like one thing so far because this is day two. Let me ask you this. What are you looking forward to seeing the most over the next nine days? I'd say a movie

that I'm missing doing this podcast right now actually. Anna and the Apocalypse is the one that I'm really psyched to see. Yeah, that's like a violent apocalypse musical.

It's a high school musical Christmas zombie movie. Yeah, okay. I say apocalypse, you say zombie, you know. Same thing, right? I mean, isn't it always the apocalypse when there are zombies? Or could they be? It wasn't quite in like Shaun of the Dead. Life went on after that.

Game of Thrones. Now, listen, Joe. I said we were going to talk to you last. Take your HBO bullshit out of here. Let's also say hello, folks, to, you know him from Mornings here in Austin, 101X. It's Alex Diamond.

That Alex D. on Twitter. You said it makes me sound like a wedding DJ, so thanks for that. Oh, you're welcome. I think you, yeah, and you put that on your, that's your bio on your Twitter. Well, yeah, if a famous person says something even slightly disparaging about me, I've got to make it my bio, right?

Well, then I hope you run into somebody more famous than I. Because now I don't feel quite so honored anymore. But thanks for being back. You won the other night, Wednesday night at Cap City. You were the winner. So I said, can you come back Friday? And here we are. Yeah, the pressure's on.

You feel pressure? You feel like there's extra pressure because you're a previous champion? Every time I feel pressure. Yeah, I make sure to pee right before the show so I don't pee my pants on stage. That is a great way to do that. Yeah.

Any time you think you're going to be in a tense situation, go ahead and go first. Right. And then you won't pee yourself. Never. There's people probably sitting in plane crashes

going, I'm not peeing myself. I went already. I'm going to be the driest body they find. Terrible. Terrible. That's not Friday

afternoon humor, you guys. We're all Friday afternoon humor, you guys. We're all just trying to enjoy the weekend. And finally, last and also last, it's Joe Parsons! Star of Master Pancake Theater. Ooh, star is a strong word for what I do. Well, you know, I like to upgrade everybody. I appreciate it.

I'll put it on my business card now. Alex has his own radio show there on 101X. I'll even mention those other losers. Eric is in charge of Ain't It Cool News. I just decided that. I have to change my business cards now.

I'm changing the 101X website. So you have participated in a tournament of championships. I have, yeah. I'm still bitter about the loss. You are? For real? Yeah, I don't know if you remember it. All right, let's hear the particulars. We were playing Leonard Maltin,

and the movie at the end of it ended up being um soul plane and because it's an ensemble cast the last person mentioned uh was snoop dog and at the time like in the order of it it just in the leonard's listing he put snoop last snoop was last but. But in the credits, it was probably like, and very special guest star Snoop Dogg. Right. Is what you're trying to say. But it also kind of gave the movie away, because at the time, he

hadn't really been in that many movies. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Is that his name was last in the cast list appropriately. Yeah. But that tipped it. You know that immediately it's Soul Plane. And you're told that the 16th name in the list is Snoop Dogg. Yeah, I'm still not

over it. Okay. Who beat you out in that circumstance? Who was it? Oh, wow, you really are torn up about this. What team did we lose the Super Bowl to again? I think it was Brad Williams.

Okay, that sounds right. I think that was right. Yeah. He's been on the show. Yeah. Not for a long time. I was on there with him, but yeah. He was just there for a short time.

He's a small man, you guys. I liked it. Should have just said wee man. He was a fierce competitor as well. Oh, really? Yeah. They both died. Sounds like a threat.

All right. Well, thank you guys, all of you, for being here. I always have a couple of questions I like to ask before... I try to ask before we get into the game portion of the show. So we'll start with Alex, because maybe you already told me the answer the other night. I don't know. Have you seen a movie since Wednesday?

I just walked out of a movie, so yes. You did? You didn't like it? No, I loved it. Oh, why'd you walk out? Because it was over. I'm going to start telling people that from now on. I just saw a movie. He's like, yeah, but I walked out.

After the credits. As soon as the credits were done. Stupidly thought there'd be a bonus scene. Yeah. I saw Kingsman last night. How was it? The Golden Circle. And there's no bonus scenes.

That's the only spoiler I'll give. Okay. Is you can go ahead and split when the credits start, if you're that kind of person. Is it awesome? I'm not going to say anything more. Okay. I want people to have at least a few days to, you know...

Fair enough. Feel good about their decisions. I love the first Kingsman too much. Yeah, me too. I think I'm too into it. That can hurt your enjoyment of a movie that's like, what? Why is this happening? It's something that crossed my mind a few times.

So clearly you loved it. My number one that popped into my head is criminal misuse of Jeff Bridges. When Jeff Bridges shows up in a movie, he's going to be doing something. And that's not the case in this movie. Oh. Yeah, it's a bummer. Just a little bit of slurring his words and then he's off the screen?

Yeah, I think he's always got a cocktail in his hand, a cowboy hat nearby. So he showed up in character. Shot all of his scenes in one location, I think. For some reason in the trailer, I got the impression that he all of his scenes in one location I think for some reason in the trailer I got the impression that he's in action scenes in the movie

he is not he's like he's like M like he's just sitting around in an office that's too bad exactly exactly

that was me watching it and then me talking about it. Both things put me to sleep. But, you know, it's got some really cool parts. And like I said, I've said too much. I hate it when I'm really looking forward to something and opening weekend, the first person you talk to,

eh, I didn't like, it wasn't that good. You're just already like, no. And that's why I never saw which Star Trek was it? The third one? Yeah. I did eventually, but it took a long time. Because it came out and I was like, a new Star Trek's here! A new Star Trek's here! And people were like, meh. And then I

was like, oh, first of all, meh is not film criticism. Get some words together. But then secondly, now I don't want to go. And then I didn't. And you've got to see those things on the big screen. It was dumb to wait and watch it on a plane. I was sitting on the plane going, this is stupid.

Yeah, I defend meh as film criticism. I've seen some movies like that where it's just a chore. And you get out of it and you're like, well, I watched a movie. All right, well, that movie was a chore is more interesting to hear than meh. Fair enough.

I put you in your place. All right, Eric, you can finally answer the question. We're all dying to know. I mean, I didn't answer the question. The suspense. Can I answer for Alex? Well, that's great. I'm going to keep the suspense going.

What's yours for Alex? Well, that's great. I'm going to keep this suspense going. What's yours, Alex? I just saw Mary and the Witch's Flower, which is a new animated Japanese movie. It was so good. So beautiful. It's like a company that spun off from Studio Ghibli, so it has that level of quality to the animation and stuff. Yeah, it's fantastic.

Can't recommend it enough. It's playing here at the festival? It is playing at the festival, and if you're like, oh, God, so much blood and boobs. Why can't I just watch a children's movie at this festival that I paid a bunch of money to see bloods and boobs for? You can go see that. Yeah, and if you want to get away from blood and boobs and anime,

you can see Gilbert. Yes, it's so good. The Gilbert Gottfried movie is really good. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm looking forward to him physically being here at the festival and seeing him interact with people. Especially, yeah, after you see him.

Because he's not great at it. Yeah. But that's part of what's so great about it. Right, yeah. That's what makes him so funny. There's no boobs in that one? In Gilbert? Yeah.

No. His wife's hanging around, but she keeps her clothes on. Meh. Some find it heartwarming. I call it meh. No, it's just really, you get kind of surprised

by how the humanity of a guy who's just really, you get kind of surprised by how the humanity of a guy who's just normally just a screaming comedian and the voice of a duck. Yeah. I thought he was a parrot, and then that movie really changed the whole thing for me.

You really, yeah, you go, oh, shit, I did not know Aladdin was not real. Mm-hmm. I thought this fellow was a parrot. Mm-hmm. The role of Iago is played by Gilbert Gottfried.

Okay, so now, Eric, you can finally answer. It's going to be a very disappointing answer, even though it's a pretty decent movie because nobody listening to this is going to have any chance to see this movie, I don't think. Ever? Probably not. It's a Russian movie called Salyut 7.

Nobody even here at Fantastic Fest. Oh, there we go. A couple. It's essentially Russia's answer to Apollo 13 where they're taking a real life cosmonaut mishap that they had to fix on the fly and, you know, fix it on the fly. But it's done kind of with the

tone of Armageddon. So there's all this crazy, like, super Russian, you know, patriotism going on throughout the whole thing, but it's shot like a Michael Bay movie out of Russia. Like American propaganda. Like a Michael Bay movie? Yes, no, that's what I said. It's like the Russian version of that.

And, yeah, even to the point where it's like the stupid Americans can't, you know, get their shit done right in space. But the Soviet cosmonauts are the real super awesome heroes. Yeah, so that's the reason no one's ever going to see it. Yeah.

You can't make a movie that shits on America. There's a little budding respect by the end of it, but definitely not on the Soviet side. But overall, you think it was a good movie? It's fun. I mean, it's cool that it's like a big action-y, you know, super high production value thing.

But yeah, I don't see it being something that people like demand to go watch. Your review is basically, good for them for trying. I think it's a really fun Fantastic Fest movie. I don't know if it's going to be something that spreads outside of the festival. Okay. Is there an example of that in the past at this festival that you could think of? Because I always see these things slip out into the world at some point.

Sometimes it takes a while. Yeah, no, there's always something that I see here that never gets out. Or if it does, it's like quietly slipped to DVD. The one that jumped to mind is a really good movie many years ago called The Substitute. I don't know if anybody saw that, but it was like a foreign movie

about a substitute teacher who's an alien. So it's a little bit Invaders from Mars or whatever, and it's about the kids figuring it out. Dimension bought it and put it to DVD. That's about the extent of it. Alright. Joe?

The last movie I saw was Hell or High Water. I just saw that last night. Speaking of Jeff Bridges. Speaking of Jeff Bridges slurring his way through the movie. Such a terrific actor. Yeah, it was fantastic. It was really good.

Yeah. It's not what I expected either. So that was a pleasant surprise. You didn't know Chris Pine was going to be in it? No, he was actually really good. He's always good. He is always good. I think he's a good actor.

Except in that Star Trek 3. But no, he was actually, he was really good in that. It's a really like subdued performance it was fantastic yeah thoroughly enjoyed it took me a year and a half to see it but I got there baby you did it

I did it what's next on your queue Citizen Kane yeah I wish no actually I will be seeing the My Little Pony movie in the theater I have kids I promise that's true No, actually, I will be seeing the My Little Pony movie in the theater. I have kids. I promise.

That's true. I promise. Start with that. I expected you all to believe me. They are my kids that I have. I have a date. I have some kids that I'm holding. And you have to take them to the movies.

They're fellow bronies. So you're going to see it tomorrow? I have some kids that I'm holding, and you have to take them to the movies. They're fellow bronies. So you're going to see it tomorrow? I think it's out October 2nd or something like that. I don't know. It's out in October, first week of October. All right, well, treat yourself to an adult movie between now and then. I hope to.

You deserve it. Yeah. Thanks, pal. Would you really sit and watch that thing, or do you just hang out in the lobby? I mean, you get roped into some of this stuff when you, like, so my four-year-old daughter really likes My Little Pony, and of all the kids' shows that she watches, it's actually not the worst. So, yeah, I can deal with it. This is how it starts.

It really is. Yeah, that's how you become a brony. I mean, that's how she was conceived, if that matters, but... Whoa. Is that too much? You made love to your wife little pony style? Stop it.

Individual laughs are so great when somebody just stands out from the crowd. As long as it doesn't happen repeatedly, then that person just seems crazy. But every once in a while, it's just nice to hear one person enjoying it way more than everybody else. Yeah, you can't...

That happens a lot at our shows because we make jokes during movies, and so there's a bit of a timing element to it, and sometimes there's something really tickling somebody. Derail is not the right word because it's so fun when it happens. Yeah, it's as fun as heckling can get. The highest end of the positive end of heckling

is laughing too loud at something. But when somebody laughs too loud, like, four or five jokes in a row, I'm like, okay. Like, it just happened on a show in Portland, and the lady was just laughing way too hard at everything. It was like, well, this person's way too easy of an audience, and it's going to get irritating to everyone around her because everything I'm saying is not a punchline.

Including when I pointed out to her that she's laughing too much. She laughed very hard at that. And she also laughed very hard at, you're going to have to leave. And no, you can't have a refund really cracked her up. But she was super day drunk and it was awesome. And I salute her.

One more question, fellas. This is the tougher one. Didn't even get to it on Wednesday night, I don't think. Yeah, I don't think so. Best movie I've never seen.. Best movie I've never seen. The best movie you've never seen. Yeah.

And you can pass it for now if you need time to think. Have you seen... Because I know I'm springing this on you. I've seen a lot of movies. You don't know which ones I've seen. That's totally true. That worries me. You have no idea what I've seen.

I'm going to try to keep it draft house-y. Have you seen Borgman? It's a European movie. I have not. Okay. It's really good, really strange. Now, you know really good would be a notch below great. Fair enough.

And that would probably be below best. Yeah. So you're really sticking your neck out on this one? I like this movie a lot. Because I will reach out to you directly. Oh, no. If it's not the best. No, that is one that would certainly qualify as something I haven't seen that I've heard mostly all good things about.

Yeah, I love it. It's in a vending machine right over there. So go pick it up today. Not you necessarily, but everybody. Netflix is in a vending machine? I don't know if it's on Netflix. Because that's an easier way

to get me to... Right. If I had a choice between watching it on Netflix or buying it out of a vending machine, I'd watch it on Netflix. That's fair.

Like, it's much easier for me. Yeah. Eric, what is the, in your opinion, the best movie I've never seen? Like, a hidden gem. I'm vacillating between two movies.

There's one that's really fun and one that's just really awesome that should get more recognition. Which one do you want? You know what? I will dare to ask you

to tell us about both. Ooh. Because everyone will just be in suspense if you don't. All right. I'm going to go with the old, old one first. It's an Ilya Kazan movie called Panic in the Streets. It is

all about a CDC guy that has to solve a murder. It's like a film noir because the guy played by Jack Palance is a young thug that kills somebody. He also happens to have the plague. So he infected the body and they have 24 hours to find him

before the plague spreads across New Orleans, which is where they shot. And they didn't actually shoot it in a stage like they did most of the movies around then. It's all location, like New Orleans, early 1950s New Orleans. Okay, well, that reminds me. I'll be at Cafe Istanbuls New Orleans. Okay, well, that reminds me. I'll be at Cafe Istanbul in New Orleans

on November something. But you haven't seen that one, no? Have not, no. I mean, you know, as soon as you came out of the gate with Elia Kazan, I was already like, you know, I've seen a lot of his

granddaughter's movies. But is that her relation to him? I think that's right. Yeah. is she his granddaughter sure okay you saw the big sick right of course yeah great movie all right so uh kumail nohjani's hosting saturday night live it's crazy yeah last year he was on this stage and now he's hosting saturday night live so which one of us is going to host SNL next? I would say nobody. That's safe bet. Nobody of this group seems to be in line for that.

But, you know, we would have joked around about him hosting it a couple years ago. So good for him. What's the other one though, the other movie? This is the fun one? It is. It's very fun. Yeah, I like fun. I'm going to tell you the title and you're going to say that sounds like a merchant ivory movie but it's not it's called figures in the landscape it's an early 70s movie uh that starts with two

uh convicts chained together running from a black helicopter and those two convicts are Robert Shaw and Malcolm McDowell pre-Clockwork Orange. And so it's like this chase movie where you don't know why they're being chased. You just know they're escaped convicts. What's it called again? Figures in a Landscape. But what's really cool about it is that Robert Shaw wrote the screenplay and he plays it so nuts. This isn't a good guy that's escaped.

He and Malcolm McDowell are legit should be behind bars, prison. They murder people along the way. It's a crazy movie that nobody has seen. Sounds fun. It would be a really good Fantastic Fest movie. Okay. You should talk to one of the programmers

and make that happen. Because then I can see it. Yeah. Yeah. Because how else would I see it, you think? I think Kino put out like a Blu-ray a couple, a year or two ago. Okay.

Maybe. It's not on Netflix. Yeah, right. I'll go Blu-ray shopping. Or I guess you could, everything you can get over the internet now, right? I just need a Blu-ray player first. That would help, yes.

Joe? Have you ever seen Captain's Courageous with Spencer Tracy? You know what? That's a good one. That's a good call. That's definitely one that's like fallen out of my I've never really watched it you know seen clips and stuff

it played button-up-a-thon one year I'm not sure if you were there that year that was pre-me because I've been going to button-up-a-thon like four years so it must have been like before that and that's a good one it's excellent good job

I'm writing that one down too. Not mine, I noticed. If only we could record this. Did you say it's in black and white? Yeah, it is in black and white. They haven't colorized it? Well, maybe. Is Pixar going to make a version of it?

Spencer Tracy does kind of look like a pincer. I do love Spencer Tracy. He is great. Yeah. And that movie does seem like fun. He won the Oscar for that, right? I believe so. He was nominated.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. It's a good one. You're actually literally writing it down now. No, no. I just remembered I got some laundry that I have to pick up.

All right, guys. You've answered my questions as honestly as possible, and I appreciate that. So now is the part of the show where I say, turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! Let the games begin! I've devised a series of games for you guys to play

to determine who's going to win this stuff I can't believe I never asked you were you guys thinking when I said I have two questions would you like one of them is what's in the prize bag what did you bring for the prize bag yeah sometimes I forget to do that part, so let's do that real quick, starting with Alex.

What'd you bring for prize material today? Well, it wouldn't be Alex at Doug Loves Movies if I didn't bring some VHS tapes out of my trunk. So today we're keeping the kids thing going. Some good, some eh. And we have The Hunchback of Notre Dame, the Disney animated one. We have The Prince of Egypt.

Oh shit, Jeff Goldblum's in that. We should have mentioned that on Wednesday. Oh, you know what? Somebody wrote to me on Twitter and said that if you're playing Jeff Goldblum in Last Man Stanton, you should have in your pocket Nashville.

Oh, shit. Where he played Tricycle Man or some shit like that. Okay. Yeah, so, you know, I'll probably forget. Yeah. Still need to know that,

you know, that would be a good one. Yeah, and I have Fantasia, perhaps one of the greatest animated movies of all time. Is it the best one that I haven't seen? Have you not seen Fantasia? I've seen Fantasia. Yeah, Fantasia's good.

I also brought Skylanders Super Chargers Starter Pack. I hope the winner has a PS4 because otherwise, go fuck yourself. What are you going to do with this? It comes with three little figures you can use in the game and the game,

and the game, and a portal of power. So, hey. Are people into that? It's... That was the best we got. Sure. Sure. I'd be into that. I didn't bring it because people are into it.

Oh, okay. You're just getting rid of it. Yeah. Okay. And I made a new little perler bead creation. I made little Doug's heads for Wednesday's show to give away.

And because it's Fantastic Fest and every movie has blood and boobs and I didn't want my fiance seeing me making crafting boobs at our kitchen table, I made a little blood spatter that's kind of the Watchmen thing, so you get to take that home with you. Thanks, Alex.

He brought stuff that he doesn't want and stuff that he made personally. What a wonderful contribution. Eric? I brought a Blu-ray of The Witch, or as I call it, The Vitch. Was that a Fantastic Fest movie? I believe so, yeah.

I think so, yeah. Black Phillip became a thing that year. Everybody was talking about it. Yeah, everybody loved it. Are there good special features on that? I'm kind of dying to know how they made this. Audio commentary with director Robert Eggers. The Witch, a primal folklore.

Salem panel Q&A and design gallery. The design gallery is the real hook there, I think. Speaking of Kingsman, I just did the junket in London and I have a challenge coin for the kingdom, the golden circle that has the statesman whiskey symbol on the other side. Nice. It's heavy and nice looking. I got a Fallout 4 little tchotchke thing.

One of the, I don't know, little dudes that you got in, I don't know, those packs that you don't know what you're getting. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're supposed to collect them all. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. what you're getting. You know what I mean?

You're supposed to collect them all? I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. The first year that Fantastic Fest did pins, we had three exclusive pins that you could only get by trading with Alamo employees. And I have a full set of those here, these three.

So these are like the rarest of the Alamo pins that you can get. Cool. That's very nice. Yeah. And to top it off, I also brought the Great Wall Novelization. Wow.

I'm sure there's so much more depth in the novelization. I like how they crop out his ponytail from the book cover. It looks like it never happened. Yeah, it looks like a Bourne cover now. Eric, what's a Great Wall book that I've never read? A great wall book?

Pass all that stuff down here. Thank you so much. Yeah, Alex's too. Oh, I love that you brought a giant bag for everything. This is going to be good for consolidation purposes in case the winner has to fly somewhere. And Joe Parsons? I brought

a Texas Forever t-shirt. The proceeds from this went to Hurricane Harvey relief. I brought Owen Edgerton's book.

Owen's one of our guys that does Master Pancake with us and this is his latest novel and it's Humdinger. And I also brought a Akhtung Fresh Hops IPA. It's a new beer from Austin

Beer Works, which is a local brewery. All of this in a book people bag that came with a bumper sticker. Why do you think Achtung? That seems a little aggressive. It does. For a beer can. I don't think you should drink anything

that says danger on it, but there we are. That's what Achtung means? Danger? Yeah. Caution. I thought it meant like, hey, we're here and we're Nazis. So look out.

Basically the same thing. Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. And so now, look at that. We've consolidated everything down to two. One extremely heavy, large bag. And then another bag.

Somebody's going home with all of this stuff tonight. The winner from Wednesday night is here, right? There you are. And you didn't even bring a name tag. You're like, I'm going to just lay out of this because I won already. And you posted a picture of your winnings on the internet, and I reposted it on Instagram,

if people want to look and see the dazzling array of shit that he had to carry home. And arrange on his bed or wherever you did it. How did you do that picture? Kitchen table. Kitchen table. Thanks, Alex. Thanks, Alex. Alex won for you.

Yeah. All right. You're welcome for all the garbage. Now we're going to find out who Alex is playing for today. Because you guys brought name tags. Gentlemen, pick which one you'd like to play for. Go physically grab the name tag you would like to use, and while you do that, we're going to go to a brief commercial message.

Today's episode is also brought to you in part by the LA Podcast Festival. Have you ever wanted to see Doug Lowe's movies live? Well, this is your chance. We're recording a live podcast at the LA Podcast Festival this October. Not only will DLM be there, but we'll be there with a ton of other great live podcasts, including My Favorite Murder, The Dollop, The Jackie and Laura Show, and loads more comedy podcasts. Mark your calendars for October 6th, 7th, and 8th, and come on down to the beautiful and historic Biltmore Hotel in downtown Los Angeles.

This hotel was home to the Academy Awards way back in the 1930s. This is a special gathering because it is a 100% independent event produced for podcasters for podcast fans. I've always had a great time. I think I've been to how many times have I been to the L.A. Podcast Festival? At least three, maybe four. And it's always a great time. I'm always able to get great guests because there's other people not only doing their podcasts at the festival, but it's in Los Angeles. So go to LAPodFest.com and buy

your tickets now. Feels like it's going to be a long year, so make sure you have some laughter scheduled into it. Don't miss us and a ton of others. Go to LAPodFest.com and buy your tickets now. Back to the show. All right, we're back. There was some controversy during the break. I needed the merest suggestion, and I would have gone for it. Yeah, Joe picked a name tag, and then I was feeling bad for the hoverboard guy.

But a Force Jenkins is a good name tag. It's was feeling bad for the hoverboard guy and but a Force of Jaken's is a good name tag. It's got lights on it. Went to a lot of effort on this one. It's a good choice so I'm glad you didn't screw that guy over. I'm a sucker for crafting. Yeah, there you go. What do you got there, Eric? I got McLennan and me.

Which is super disturbing. It's awful. That's why I love it so much. Yeah. It's awful. That's why I love it so much. Yeah, it's amazing. I asked myself, what would Paul Rudd pick if he was up here? And he would have picked this. Yeah, Paul Rudd is a huge Mac and Me

fan, that's true. That is a good point. He should do like James Franco did with Disaster Artist and make a movie where he plays the maker of Mac and Me. Oscar. Right? First.

Alex? I got Zack to the Future. Yes! Using the... With a lightsaber attached to it. I don't know if that tracks, really. A copyright distinct lightsaber. A light sword, probably.

Using the classic just put stuff over the picture usage of Photoshop. The Z is just on top of the B. There's no... There's just no attempts there to make it look natural. But I love it.

It's not Photoshop. It's decoupage. Yeah. It's MS Photoshop. It's decoupage. Yeah. It's MS Paint in its last throws. Can you hit the button on the lightsaber? Yeah, let's do it. Let's hear what it sounds like. Why does it sound like an electric shaver? Yeah.

Oh, it's officially a space sword. Oh, okay. It says it right on the sword. It's a general electric space sword and shaver. And very good job. Well, two out of three of the signs light up, but that Mac and me, that just... It lights up your heart.

It naturally lights up everything. Did McAmee have anything like a heart light like E.T. had? No, he just liked McDonald's a lot. Yeah, that's the same thing. He could inflate his face like Dizzy Gillespie.

Yeah, he was really into whistling some tunes. Yeah, his whistle would do something. And having a crazy whistle face. And he wiggled his ears a lot. Yes. Yep. Basically just as good as lighting up. Yeah, we got to the bottom of that one.

All right, you guys. We're going to start with a game called Characters Welcome. I'll name characters played by one actor, and one actor alone. Could be a lady, could be a man. Guess as often as you like. This is just between the people on stage. As soon as someone gets it, you know, you're the winner. You've named

this movie. I mean, this actor. Got it? Ready. This performer was credited in a movie as playing... Oh, I guess this gives away the sex

right away. Man in hat. Do you have any guesses of any actors who have ever played a man in a hat? See, I want to say Mike Myers, but he was only ever a cat

in a hat, so it doesn't make sense. I mean, if we were talking about the Grammy Awards, you could guess LL Cool J, because he's always the man in the hat. Or Pharrell. I mean, if we were talking about the Grammy Awards, you could guess LL Cool J. Because he's always the man in the hat. Or Pharrell.

This actor, yeah, big hat. This actor also played security guard. Lou Ferrigno. That's a great guess. He certainly has the ability to play either of those roles. Stan Lee? No, that's true. Like, Stan Lee cameos in those movies,

do they give him little weird descriptions of whatever it was? I guess they probably do, yeah. Like strip club DJ and creep in the promenade or whatever. All right. I love those. I heard he's going to stop doing those. Oh, yeah? DJ and creep in the promenade or whatever. Alright. I love those. I heard he's going to stop doing those. Oh yeah? Yeah. I think he's recorded like five already that are still yet to be seen. He's banked a bunch of them, yeah. That's good.

Okay, this actor also played a character named Curly. Gene Hackman Jack Palance No and no I'm just trying to read this next name I hope I get it right

Will Sasso Oh yes because he was in the Three Stooges movie Very good Carl Rod. Someone named Jack. Robin Williams. Yes, he starred as Jack. Another one, Old Man.

This guy is very versatile. He's gone from man in hat to old man. But not old man in hat. Yeah. This one might give it away. He also played a man in hat to old man. But not old man in hat. Yeah. This one might give it away. He also played a character called Toot Toot. Oh, it's Orson Welles. No. I say no before I realize it's a joke answer. I say no before I realize it's a joke answer.

All right, you guys. This actor has also played someone named Lucky. Harry Dean Stanton? That is it! Harry Dean Stanton! We were all so close on the Marvel security guards. The last Marvel security guard. Yeah, Toot Toot. He was a janitor, I think.

Toot Toot is his character in Green Mile. I guess none of you are that into Green Mile. I thought that would give it away if you were a fan of that movie. And then Lucky, of course, is what will be his final leading role, I think, comes out in a couple of weeks. And then I was going to finish it off. If you guys still didn't know at this point, I was going to say, and he was in an episode

of Two and a Half Men, in which he played Harry Dean Stanton. So then it would have been a game of just who yells out Harry Dean Stanton the quickest after hearing it. It's interesting when they have movies scheduled that are stopping and starting while this is going on

because the place got considerably less full. It's a real confidence builder. Because people went to see, because they've got movies they've got to go see that are starting. But it's still, it's funny to me how how much emptier it is but there was never

a moment where everyone got up and left they did it in the stealthiest way possible or I've just been like staring down the whole time just haven't been paying attention I thought it was people protesting that they're signed or that their name tags that we didn't even bring also did not get picked.

What kind of mind police are we dealing with? No, they went off to see more fantastic movies. And God bless them for that. If somebody comes up to me and says, I missed your show because I was seeing a movie, how can Doug, who loves movies, argue about that? Like, if you skip out to go to a funeral, I'm going to be fucking pissed. Because that person's going to stay dead.

But maybe you're going to a movie that's like a revival screening one night only or something. Doug Loves Funerals is a terrible podcast. I would not recommend it. Well, because I don't love them. That's why it's so bad. Well, hey, look, I love my wife. But if you blew me off to go see my wife, because I don't love them. That's why it's so bad. Well, hey, look, I love my wife,

but if you blew me off to go see my wife, I might be upset as well. Two of them that close together? My wife! My wife! What are you trying to do to me? What? What's into that? Let's play Ron Bennett's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.

Who won that last one? Eric? Okay, so Eric gets to go first. And then we'll go to Joe and then Alex. And each round we start with somebody new, so everybody gets a chance to go first. I'll name an actor. with somebody new so everybody gets a chance to go first. I'll name an actor. You name

what you think is in their top three box office of all time domestic according to boxofficemojo.com You each get one guess in order. You can't guess the same movie, obviously. You're trying to get the

number one movie. We'll start with Eric, an actress that, who knows, maybe she's only been in like seven movies so far. Haley Steinfeld. I know what movie I want to say, but I'm not sure if it's the highest one. My favorite of hers, I'm going to go with it

even though I know it's not number one, is True Grit. True Grit. It did make a lot of money. Okay. You don't have to make excuses for your answers. This is going to get real interesting because I know three Hailee Steinfeld movies.

Yeah, me too. Hey, you know, you guys are way ahead of a lot of people that have been on this show. Some people would have been stumped at this point. But at least you can name one. All right, and I'm going to go with Ender's Game. Okay. So I'm going to go with Edge of Seventeen

because that's what I got left. All right. Well, here's what I got left. All right. Well, here's how it breaks down. Joe gets one point because her third highest grossing movie is called Ender's Game. Nice. Good job.

Eric gets two points because number two is True Grit. And Alex is left in the dust because her number one movie is Pitch Perfect 2. Oh. Yeah. Oddly enough,

Edge of Seventeen came 17th on the list of she's only been in six films. And it's still 17th on the list of... She's only been in six films. And it's still 17th on the list. I guess any movie where they say the words Hayley or Steinfeld would count. All right, next round.

Joe gets to start. Then Alex and Eric. This is an actor who came up earlier. The great Jeff Bridges. What's in Jeff Bridges' top three? I'd leave the room, too. It's suspenseful. It's intense.

I mean, popularity doesn't always equal box office. Who said that? Einstein? I think that's right. I think that's something like that. I mean, it had such legs to it. I can't deny it.

So I have to say Big Lebowski. Like it played for so long. I feel like it's... Okay. I'm gonna say Big Lebowski. Like it played for so long I feel like it's... Okay. I'm gonna say Tron. Tron. What do you want from me? Does my voice sound like

I approve of that answer? Eric? True Grit. Okay, I don't know what you're doing but I barely know what I'm doing. Coming in at number one for Jeff Bridges just You got to picture him bald. Iron Man. Of course. Iron Man. Now, that's a great example, and I can use this.

It won't be a spoiler to say this because everybody knows Iron Man. In Iron Man, like, of course, he turns out to be the villain of the movie because he's a huge star and his part is dumb until he turns out to be the villain of the movie. So that's how I felt about,

what you call it, his part in Kingsman. It's like, when is this going to turn into, when's he going to do something? Coming in at number two, from 1976, King Kong. Really? Yeah, that movie did quite well, and then you adjust it, and bam!

It's right up there with Iron Man. And coming in at number three, one point for Eric. It's True Grit. Man. I'm eking it out. I'm eking it out. Alex knows from the IMDb game that themes can emerge in these

games. You can sometimes figure stuff out and Alex gets to go first for this third round, final round. There'll be a tiebreaker if we need one. Could be anybody's game. Josh Brolin. Ooh.

Yeah, I'm going to say Guardians of the Galaxy on that one. Okay. I recently made a guest say Volume 1 for the full title, but of course it wasn't called that. I apologized. Eric?

Oh, wait. Yeah? Eric, okay. Huh. Hmm. Yeah? Eric, okay. Huh. Hmm. Yeah. You have the greatest answer there, because now I'm trying to remember which other Marvel stuff he was in. I'm going to... Let me help you out with that. None. Yeah. That was quick.

All right. Let's do No Country for Old Men. None. That was quick. Alright, let's do No Country for Old Men. Okay. Joe? I'm going to go with The Goonies. Really? Nobody said True Grit? I'm sorry that was unfair of me

now that I look at it to say he wasn't in any other Marvel movies but I don't think you would have pulled out this title the number one movie for Josh Brolin

is Avengers Age of Ultron I was almost going to say that didn't you say it it wasn't in the credits? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not your fault. Number two, though,

Guardians of the Galaxy. Hey! That's worth two points for Alex. And then three, strangely enough, Men in Black 3. I didn't make that movie. Where he does a great young Tommy Lee Jones. He does it really well.

He's really good. I like Josh Brolin when he's on SNL too. I think he's much funnier than he plays too many dramatic roles in my opinion. Master Panacake-u! Is what I like to call Master Pancake. That kind of surprised me.

My butthole clashed a little bit. Because of Josh Brolin's great scene in that movie that Wes Anderson, Paul Thomas Anderson in Her advice, he just screams, Moto Panakeku.

Because he fucking loves Japanese pancakes. Is that what that is? I don't know why they... I didn't know that was a thing until that movie. It's very weird. All right, so Joe ends up with one point, Alex with two points,

and our winner of this game is Eric with three points. You done did it, dude. It's all downhill from here, Doug. What's that? All downhill from here. All right, well, we'll see how you do in our final challenge, final game. But first...

Oh, no. But first, a mop. More glasses down. Is it okay? Is everybody all right? Okay. Phew. I feel like somebody puked during this show one time.

No. Was it me? No. No. I definitely remember that. Let's play the tiebreaker that I wrote just because it's fun to play the ones that I wrote down anyway. Okay.

Because there was a theme and everything. Right. Eric, you start us off. Matt Damon. I would love to say Team America. Definitely not

The Great Wall. Let's go I do wonder where Team America falls because I'm sure that they don't list him on Box Office Mojo, but I bet you it would also be up there as one of

his best movies. Even though it's not him. It's just Trey Parker going Matt Damon. I'm Matt Damon. It's pretty goddamn funny. Let's do The Bourne Identity.

And it just keeps getting funnier too because Matt Damon continues to be more and more respected. So it's just more funny. It's like if there was a movie where somebody was like, I'm Gene Ackman! It's like, holy fuck, that guy was amazing his whole life. And there was this one movie where I treated him that way.

I mean, Matt Damon's such a great comedian in that one movie where I treated him that way? I mean, Matt Damon's such a great comedian in that one movie. That hilarious comedy, The Martian. So what did you say, Eric? I said the Bourne identity. Okay.

What do you say, Joe? I'm going to say the Bourne Supremacy. Oh, okay. Alex? Ocean's Eleven? Come again at number one. Saving Private Ryan.

Titular role. And at number two, this one's hilarious. The Bourne Ultimatum. How'd you do it? I couldn't remember which one was two and which one was three. I actually had the Bourne Ultimatum in my head,

but then I'm like, wait a minute, is that the Jeremy Renner one? That's Legacy. Legacy, okay, good. Yeah, you know your borns. But coming in at number three, and the extra point doesn't mean anything, but it is Ocean's Eleven.

Hey! A tie maker, if only. Good pull on that one. Would I like a software update later? Remind me later. I have to do that three or four times a day because I do not want to update. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass.

Updates always lead to bad things. Let's just leave it where it's at. Age of Ultron, perfect example. Yeah, I'm not letting my smartphone get any smarter. I'm keeping it right where it's at. Age of Ultron, perfect example. Yep. Yeah, I'm not letting my smartphone get any smarter. I'm keeping it right where it's at. Fuck you, I'm not going to update you. The technology does not need to move any further. I can make calls and look at porn, I'm good.

Let's play Last Man Stanton. Woo! Last Man Stanton. This, of course, is a game where we get an actor, actress, or maybe multiple ones from suggestions in the crowd and then take turns saying movies that they were in. And when you can't think of one, you're out.

But you can use your name tag as a lifeline one time. And I recommend using it early. Noted. You know, that's just my advice. No one wrote to me on Twitter today

saying I have the perfect name. Well, you're probably muted on Twitter then. What's your name on Twitter? I hear Ramona sing. That sounds familiar. I hear Ramona sing. What is that in reference to? Scott Pilgrim.

Scott Pilgrim, okay. Not the song, the movie. I appreciate that. Ramona, yeah, I like it. Okay, and what's your suggestion? Robert De Niro. Okay, he was great in Scott Pilgrim. I totally thought that's where we were headed, somebody from Scott Pilgrim.

Lots of people to choose from. But Robert De Niro, holy shit, it's like we don't really need to get a second name with De Niro, but I also love the confusion that it brings. Yes. So somebody over here's got one. Nick Cage? Holy shit. Jesus.

Cancel whatever's happening here later tonight. I guess I'm not going to any other movies today. My daughter will have a birthday next year. to any other movies today. My daughter will have a birthday next year. All right, so that's what we're doing is the films of De Niro

and Cage. Wow. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. One of the greatest actors, one of our greatest living actors versus one of our

greatest living hams. You can't talk about De Niro like that. What name a time when De Niro's been hammy? Did you really just raise your hand? Well, I don't want to go out of turn. It's going to give away a title. Oh, that's a good point.

Yeah, this is a bad time to discuss his movies by title. No, who gets to go first? Who won that last game? Eric goes first. Eric, okay. But we'll switch the order around, and I like to play along, so it's going to go Eric, Alex, me, Joe.

Right? Nailed it. Thanks. It's so good to have sober people on the show. Can help guide me through it. Okay, so Eric gets to go first. The films of De Niro

and Cage. Face Off. Face slash off. Yep. Full title. It's one word. I have to mime it too. Full title. It's one word. I had to mime it too. I saw. Okay.

Joe. No. Alex. Alex. I'm going to say Raging Bull. Oh, he just died. He did. Yeah, this week. Yeah, Jake LaMotta just passed. He just died. He did, yeah, this week.

Jake LaMotta just passed, 91 years old. It's not a safe time to be a nine-year-old. I don't even know if that's right. He had a fiance, which seems ambitious. I stole that joke from somebody. And probably no money.

Like, what was she doing? I don't know. There's no gold digging going on with a 91-year-old who, like, you know, in the movie Raging Bull, he destroys his own prize belt to take the jewels off of it to sell them at a pawn shop. Yeah, so I don't think he's rolling in it. Maybe they were in love? Is it naive

to say that? I think it very well might be naive to say that. I'm going to go with what I feel, you know, you can argue the merits of these guys' careers as much as you want, but to me, the turning point for one of these gentlemen

in becoming somebody I was less interested in was when he appeared in an emotional picture called Meet the Parents. Because he became comedy guy after that. He's very funny in all of his dramatic roles. He's always been hilarious. But then now, once you're comedy guy after that. He's very funny in all of his dramatic roles. He's always been hilarious, but then now once you're comedy guy, then he has to be in shitty comedies.

Oh, that's a clue for the next answer. Alex? It's not me. Yeah, it's me. You know what? Just for fun, I'm going to get it wrong every time because that won't get old. Joe?

I can think of two movies where he's a ham, but one's dramatic and one's comedic. But I'll go with the comedic one that I immediately thought of, which was Rocky and Bullwinkle. Yeah, but you know he was asked to play a cartoon character. You asked for a hammy

performance. Okay, you win. I don't think that's the name of that movie either. Is it not? I think it is. I think it's more words than just Rocky and Bullwinkle. Oh. Hey, did I ask you?

I just had a moment of inspiration. That's not how this works. I don't know where it came from, but I was just inspired to say. It just popped into your head? Yeah. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Sorry, no, it's The Misadventures. I don't care what it is.

All right, Eric. I'll take your cue, Doug, and go meet the Fockers. Yeah, see what I'm saying? Do you see the shit that's happening next to me right now? He's making notes. Does this happen? Oh, no.

He got the idea from Sam Levine. Oh, does he? Because Sam thinks I'm better at the game and he's better at the game and anyone's better at the game if you're writing them down. Am I cheating right now? Which I sort of get, but also if you ask me what ones have been said already, I don't mind reminding you. I'm just writing them down because I'll never be able to keep track if I don't.

Yeah. And also I can't win anyway. I'm just playing for fun. But yes, I do see what's going on right next to you. To answer your question. It's just purely intimidation. Do you see what's going on in front of you? There's a room that is emptying.

There's less people every time I glance over. I guess we get to keep these prizes. Oh, shit. I want those pins. Oh, yeah. What's your answer, though, Alex? Snake eyes. Oh, yeah. What's your answer, though, Alex? Snake eyes. Okay.

I'm going to save that one for a little later, maybe. If I were you, I wouldn't whip it out. I wouldn't just whip it out right away like one would do with a... No, please. Go on.

Say it slowly. Oh, I was so happy to say it. I had the funniest title ready to go, but I want to make sure I got it right. God damn it. Captain Morelli's Mandolin. Ooh, so close. What is it?

Very close. Captain Forelli. Corelli. Captain Corelli's mandolin? Yep. I thought it was an M name to go with mandolin, but it's a C name to go with captain. Yep. Fuck.

All right, I'm out. Oh. You're going to go out over a letter? Yeah, and you're about to, too, if you're not careful. Oh, shit. Exact titles only. All right. Little Fockers.

Yes. Yeah, I couldn't remember the name of that one. That's what it is. Well, because it's the height of cleverness, so it's hard to... It's not as easy a title

to remember as Figures in a Landscape. Would you say Little F fuckers, meh? Yeah, I would say that. This guy's angling for my job. Whose turn is it? Mine, I think, right? Yep.

Taxi driver. Hold me closer, taxi driver. I'm going to go with Goodfellas. Also one word. With a capital in the middle. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's me. That's right.

Sorry. Analyze this. Well, that's a real softball to the next guy. Get him out of the way. Little analyzers. Old analyzer. Analyzer and hat. I'm actually going to go a different direction

because I love this movie and want to bring it up. King of Comedy. Yes. See, he's hilarious in that movie. It's also very much a drama. And sad, yeah. Then I'm going to say Analyze That. Yeah, there you go.

Joe? The Family Man. Oh, there you go. Joe? The family man. Oh, right. Eric? Let's do bad grandpa. Let's not. Bad fuckers.

Gone in 60 seconds New York New York Leaving Las Vegas This is fucking exciting So many titles with City names in them Let's just get it out of the way now exciting. So many titles with city names in them. Let's just get it out of the way now.

The Wicker Man. There it is. He's super into titles with man in the title. The Rock. I'm noticing. And The. He likes movies with The in the title. There are so few of those. And The. He likes movies with The in the title.

There are so few of those. National Treasure. National Treasure Book of Secrets. Oh, that's a scary one. Is that the correct title, though? I think it is. National Treasure 2

Book of Secrets. It's got the number in there? Yep. Okay. The Cruz. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Kingsman doesn't have a 2 in it. It's just Kingsman colon the golden circle. Which is what I call my colon.

Ew! Golden? I call my colon. Ew! Golden. The Croods. Yeah, exactly. What else? I don't feel good about that one. It was my turn. Raising Arizona.

It's interesting. That one didn't get any applause. Well, that's because there's only three people left here. Just for the love of that movie. Sometimes when people say a great movie, the crowd claps. Not today. Casino. Hey, you guys know James Woods is in that, right? Yeah, didn't mean to bum you out.

Cape Fear. Yes. That's the other hammy performance, by the way. That's the other hammy performance by the way. It's great. But it's really good. It is over the top

and it's awesome. Yeah, but it, yeah, but it fits the tone of the, I mean, the direction

and the music and everything. All of it's so over the top that it's pretty enjoyable. We haven't said Con Air yet, right? No, we haven't. That gets a clap.

See, you guys are crazy. Damn it. That threw me. The fact that we're clapping for Kanye really threw me. I've got to be honest. Knowing. I should have saved that one, but... Yeah, that's a good one to save,

because people aren't going to remember it. Frankenstein. Oh, yeah. De Niro. Yeah, you need to do a little work on that one. Yeah. No, I'm pretty sure it's just Frankenstein. Do you want to take it back?

It's Frankenstein 2, Book of Secrets. I thought you were going to say something real and not a joke. Shut up. Do you want your lifeline to help you with it? Well, if you guys are certain, I feel like that is the actual of that movie. But if I'm not right, then I will go with a different movie. Stardust. That's worth one woo.

Yeah. That's about right. It gets one woo. Is that the thing with Michelle Pfeiffer? Yeah. And it's Matthew Vaughn who did The Kingsman. Yeah. It is one woo. Is that the thing with Michelle Pfeiffer? Yeah. And it's Matthew Vaughn who did The Kingsman. Yeah, I think that's... It is?

Yeah. Okay. It is. Do you disagree or you haven't seen it? I didn't care for it, but... It's okay. Meh. Meh.

I'll go ahead and take yours. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Yeah. Okay. That goddamn possessive. It's Women Filmmakers Month, so Mary Shelley deserves the props.

I mean, she always deserves it, but you know what I mean. Who's up? I'm gonna say Left Behind. The remake. No, sir. There's a movie for everybody.

And he's that everybody. Jackie Brown. Nice. Yeah. De Niro doing bong rips I'm gonna go with Moonstruck We were right about this gonna take forever Um For the hell of it I'm actually actually going to go to my wife. Yeah, I think it's a smart move at this point.

Zach to the future, hit me. The Godfather Part 2. The Godfather Part 2, okay. I actually knew that one, so that was not helpful, but you said it. Take it off the board. Thank you. Part 2.

Heat. Part two. Heat. I'm going to do one that's tied into one of your gift bag items. Nicolas Cage was in The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Yeah. Good call. That's not in the bag.

Fantasia is. Fantasia. He played Mickey in the bag. Fantasia is... Fantasia. Yeah. And then he played Mickey in the movie. Yeah. He played Mickey. I just want people to know that the Nicolas Cage's Mickey Mouse is not in the bag. Don't get excited. Okay.

How about Mean Streets? Okay. If you're going to play it like that. Pick old stuff out. Grudge Match. Yeah, see, that's fresh. Not on Rotten Tomatoes. Why would you...

Don't laugh at that. Why would you Don't laugh at that Why would you Why would you swallow that Like you just You know you're in polite company I'm so ashamed of that joke It's so dumb I'm gonna go Midnight Run

Yes Great one Love it Also he's very funny in that one Alright Great one. Love it. Also, he's very funny in that one. All right, Captain Corelli. Have we said The Family Stone? Is that a real thing that Robert De Niro is in,

or am I thinking of a totally different movie? I mean, there's a movie called The Family Stone, but I don't think he's in it. I think it's... If there's a movie that's just like it. Okay. Then I'm going to go with... Wait, you can't just guess a bunch of... Hey, is he in this?

Oh, no? Okay, how about this? Fine, then I'm out. Give us a real answer. The real answer is The Intern. Yes. Yes. Righteous Kill. I'm going to say Stolen, which was the Nick Cage trying to do Taken. Oh, man.

I saw that. I visited the set for that,. I saw that. I visited the set for that, so I'm sorry. He's on the phone with his daughter. Next, you're gonna be stolen. Vampire's Kiss. Best recitation

of the alphabet in the history of cinema? Sesame Street ain't got shit on Nicolas Cage. A, B, C. Showtime. Oh. That's got De Niro in it?

Yeah. And Eddie Murphy? Yeah. Yikes. It was a real... That was a chore. I got a Scorsese movie that De Niro isn't in, but Nic Cage is, Bringing Out the Dead.

Yeah. Shit. That's good. Scorsese works with all the greats. Ving Rhames was in there. You got another one, Alex? I'm not 100% on the title. Oh, great.

Peggy Sue gets married? Oh. Wait, you want to try again? Me and Peggy Sue get married? Oh, no! Yeah, I don't know it. Oh, shit.

You're out. That's fine. Okay. Joe? There's a freebie. I'm going to go with Peggy Sue got married. Yeah, she did.

Fuck! Yeah, she fucking did. Once Upon a Time in America. Mm-hmm. Another great James Woods movie. Shark Tale. I might be out of De Niro's. I'm going through that one.

Brazil. Brazil. Love it. Season of the Witch. That's a good one. What's that? It's Nicolas Cage. It's just called Season of the Witch?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, It's Nicolas Cage. It's just called Season of the Witch? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's no fun. They just took the subtitle of a Halloween movie and called it that? The Weatherman. Yes. I told you, like, the man.

The man. Have we said matchstick men? Uh-uh. All right, matchstick men. I'm going to go Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He might have been as Nicholas Coppola when he did that in the credits, I think. That is true. And he had a unibrow. Oh yeah, he did.

I didn't know I should have named movies that they're in that I had seen. That would have been a good strategy for me. It's a real oversight on my part. Have we said adaptation? Uh-uh.

Bangkok Dangerous? Good old Bang Dang. All right, I'll go to my lifeline. We might have to continue this in another episode. Seriously. I'm going to go to my lifeline on this one. De Niro and Flawless. Ooh.

De Niro's in Flawless? Is that the one with Philip Seymour Hoffman? Nice. Okay. We said Godfather Part 2, but I don't think we said The Godfather. Because? Because he Is he in it? Because... Because he's not in it, so why would I say that?

Why would anybody say that? I'm going to go ahead and go to Greg for my lifeline. Firebirds? Yes! Firebirds. Damn it! Not for me! Fucking firebirds. That was weird for, like, Nicolas Cage. He was me. Fucking firebirds.

That was weird for, like, Nicholas Cade. He was pretty big at that point, for him to be in, like, such a weird knockoff of Top Gun. Have we said Honeymoon in Vegas? Mm-mm. No, I made a vow to never say it. No, I made a vow to never say it. There's a movie that's been sticking in my mind that I'm...

I know the movie, but I'm not 100% on the title. But now I'm kind of at the end of my rope. It's a movie in which Nicolas Cage goes absolutely fucking bonkers. Sure he did. Narrow it down. Yeah. With Michael Biehn,

I think it's called rage, but I'm not 100% on that. Sounds right to me. I think it's called rage. You are correct. Yeah? Cool. You got a thumbs up.

I mean, can you imagine how angry people would get if it wasn't rage? Would they be enraged? Have we said leaving Las Vegas? Mm-hmm. Okay.

Let's think about this. Yes, let's ponder. I'm just going to ponder here for a second. Finally, the tribute they both have deserved. The films of De Niro and Cage. Rumblefish. Okay. Take that.

Unlocked a door in my mind. Did it help you, Eric? It didn't. I think I'm going to let... You think that's it? If I give him one, can our two guys split the prize? Is that how that works? If what happens?

I give him an answer, and then our two people we're playing for, if he wins, they split the prize. No. I didn't think so, but why not ask? Yeah, that's true, I guess. Hey, Alex Trebek, do I really have to form it as a question? Hey, I just did.

If I look it up on Google, can I send half my winnings to Google? Can I look at my phone while I'm on Jeopardy? It's a game I'm trying to watch. It's not a sports event. Eric? I think I'm trying to watch it's not a sports event Eric I think I'm out man tappy tap time

yeah I thought Rumblefish might have jarred, hang on you guys, I think Rumblefish might have jarred some Valley Girl out of you, possibly if you go back to that time period but I think you guys did an excellent job with all three of you.

And congratulations. But we're calling Joe Parsons the winner. Lift him back up where he belongs. And I will never forget Captain Corelli's mandolin.

More Rellies. And pass down the name tags, the other two. I don't need yours because you won. And, in fact, pass that back to the gentleman who made it, and he can also come grab all of his prizes. There you go. Greg, did you write a shithead on it? Congratulations.

Yeah, and this one doesn't have a shithead on the back. Mack Lennon and me. Who do you want me to call a shithead? Anybody you want. Anybody I want? I actually know how to take that back. Fuck you. Oh, wow.

I was very angry at you for messing that up. You should have never picked him in the first place. Because the people whose name tags you didn't pick aren't mad at you right now. Maybe they are. Just on the inside. I don't know. All right. Let's do some plugs.

Joe Parsons, what's coming up? Where can people see you? Master Pancake Theater is making jokes during Star Trek The Motion Picture. We're doing a Choose Your Own Pancake night, which is an improvised movie mock that's happening on Tuesday.

And then after that, we're doing a... I'm going to announce it anyway. We're doing a Harrison Ford-a-thon. Whoa! And that's supposed to be a secret? That's a Douglas Movies exclusive? That's exclusive! Okay, that would be really fun.

He's in lots of great movies, but they're all mockable. They've all got moments. He's always yelling at somebody. He's always doing this. Suddenly. Finger of doom, yes. All right, Eric Vespi? You can find me on Twitter, at Eric Vespi,

and I'm going to be launching a podcast as well in the next month or two that it's called Unproduced, and it looks at movies that were never made and kind of tells you what they were going to be and like a deep dive into why they didn't happen. So it's something I've been working on for about a year and a half. I think it's going to be really cool.

How many of those do you think there are? A lot. Like hundreds? Hundreds. Spoiler alert, it's always money. How early, at what point in the series will you tackle Kevin Smith's Superman? Yeah.

Probably not very early. That's not an exciting one to you? I was going to say that one for Nicholas Cage. Everybody knows about that one to you? I was going to say that one for Nicolas Cage. Everybody knows about that one. Yeah, I was going to say that for Nicolas Cage, that documentary, he is technically in it, but I couldn't think of the title. What's the documentary called?

The Death of Superman Lives. Shit, now I know all this stuff. There you go. Oh, colon, the greatest movie never made? Is that what it's called? Yeah. Cool, so I would have fucked it up anyway. Well, me too.

Me too, I couldn't remember the first part of the colon. Well, we look forward to checking that out. And you write under the name Quint on Ain't It Cool. Very cool. Thank you for doing this. And Alex, thanks for coming back. Thank you for having me. How are you feeling?

I feel really bad because the guy whose name tag I picked, I picked the last time I lost. So he's cursed or I'm cursed. You just cannot win for that guy. We're cursed together. I'm noticing a pattern here. Yeah. All right.

You can't win for Zach. Sorry, Zach. Yeah. Oh, that's Mark Wahlberg instead of Michael J. Fox. Mm-hmm. Just paste it right on the front. Yeah. Paste it right on there.

Thanks to all my guests for being here. Joe Parsons, Eric Vespi, and Alex Diamond. Oh, shit. Somehow this didn't end up in the prize bag. Just hold the bag open. Yeah, I want to toss it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I like to toss things in.

It was rubber. It didn't hurt anybody. And thank you to Fantastic Vest It was rubber. It didn't hurt anybody. And thank you to Fantastic Fest and to the Highball and everybody in Austin, Texas. I always have a good time here.

And as always, Eric Vespi is a shithead. Thanks, Greg. Yeah, how dare you lose for that guy. And having to wait Until 2019 for Game of Thrones Is a shithead