Doug Loves Movies - Ethan Suplee, T.J. Miller, and Jen Kirkman Guest

Episode Date: December 1, 2010

Doug welcomes the "Unstoppable" Ethan Suplee and T.J. Miller and comedian Jen Kirkman to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art1...9.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers screaming babies in key seats With 50-an and popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. That was Garfunkel and Oates singing the theme song,
Starting point is 00:00:33 Christmassy style. We're at the UCB Theater in LA. It's Tuesday, November 30th, 2010, and I think Dobby should be nominated for an Oscar. I tried to say that last week, but whoever the guests were, I've already forgotten. It's out of my mind. But Larry and Tig and Greg were all like, we haven't seen it.
Starting point is 00:00:53 That was just Greg. That wasn't Larry and Tig. I will be... That was my Greg Brooks impression. I'll be at Hyena's in Fort Worth December 3rd. That's tonight if you downloaded the podcast successfully on the day it came out. The episode I was just referring to with Tig and Larry and Greg, there's been people writing to me on Twitter saying they're having downloading problems, but then there's like 50,000 other people that have downloaded it successfully.
Starting point is 00:01:22 So I don't know if just... There's just 12 weirdos out there that have reached out to me and just don't know if just there's just 12 weirdos out there that have reached out to me and just don't know how to work their computer. But they all seem legit, like they've listened to it before. So hopefully that problem's been solved. I don't know how those things get solved.
Starting point is 00:01:37 I just complained to the producers Matt Belknap and Ryan McMiniman. And then one of them goes and tries to take care of it. So I'll be in Fort Worth December 3rd and 4th. There's a new episode of The Benson Interruption airing tonight at midnight, 11 central, with Tom Lennon, Mike Lee and Black, and Andy Daly.
Starting point is 00:01:59 The Marijuana Logs is going to be performed just one time only in New York City at the Gramercy Theater December 18th at 420. LiveNation.com is where you go to get tickets and good luck spelling marijuana logs in the search engine. December 21st, no
Starting point is 00:02:15 comedy death rate here at UCB, so and that's the show people usually come to see after they see Doug Lowe's movies. There is no show on December 21st, so Doug Lowe's movies uh there is no show on december 21st so douglow's movie is going to come in at a special time at eight o'clock it's only gonna be five bucks to get in 20 bucks to get out no it's only gonna be it's only gonna be five bucks and but it's gonna be like an extra long show and i've already booked if they don't cancel some really great guests so
Starting point is 00:02:42 that's gonna be on december 21. So you guys that are here now, or if you're going to be in the LA area, please do come by. Now, my guests tonight, I wrote my guests down on the piece of paper, but I'm pretty sure it's three people. My guests tonight are two previous guests on this show, two very funny comedians,
Starting point is 00:03:04 and two dudes responsible. I mean, they very funny comedians, and two dudes responsible. I mean, they're all, you know what I mean? They're not, it's not, I'm not bringing out six people. And the two dudes responsible for that unstoppable train, please welcome Jen Kirkman, TJ Miller, and Ethan
Starting point is 00:03:19 Supley, everybody. Come on out, you guys. Sit wherever you like. Just do it quickly because it's not interesting to listen to. Certainly not. Hey, everyone. That's TJ. Hi.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Hello. That's Ethan. Hi, everybody. My name is Doug. Don't read my script. I thought it was for me. Don't read my script, Jan Kirkman. Hi. Hello. That's Ethan. Hi, everybody. My name is Doug. Don't read my script. I thought it was for me. Don't read my script, Jan Kirkman. Hi.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Hello. I got to start with TJ and Ethan because I saw Unstoppable. And you guys are basically responsible for a missile the size of a Chrysler building headed into a crowded town in a shit state nobody cares about. No, I'm joking around. It's a beautiful area. Would have been a terrible disaster if the train had hit Stanton. Was that what they were afraid it was going to hit?
Starting point is 00:04:16 Scranton. Not Scranton. It was Stanton, I think. Stanton. Stanton. Okay, that's another movie I was in. That's why you should really not be a guy that's deciding where the trains are going to go.
Starting point is 00:04:26 You really shouldn't be working out at the coupling yard. Sounds like Samaritan. Send it to Panton. They kept saying Arclow through the whole movie and then when they show it spelled finally, I was like, oh, that's not how I spelled it. Let me guess, let me guess. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:42 A-R-C-L-O-W. I don't think so is that it it's a k right yeah but it's a r k l o w i think i was like i was just giving it a c and an o arc low what is arc low what did you guys see the movie it's the city i think it's the city where it's the first first city they get to after they had a chance to derail the train or safely, but they didn't do it because some corporate asshole is standing in an office somewhere calling the shots when it should be called by Rosario, who's practically there on the scene. The movie that I saw that we were in was Remember the Titans, right? Yes, we were in that. You were the quarterback. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:05:25 I love that film. Now you're confusing me because you weren't in that movie. No, I was not in that movie. But I like that I exist in a world where Doug Benson can be like, was he in Remember the Titans? You know, there's always like when you meet
Starting point is 00:05:43 a T.J. Miller and become friends with a T.J. Miller, there's a point where you when you meet like a t.j miller and becomes friends become friends with a t.j miller there's a point where some movies on cable you go oh that was t.j miller i expect that to happen maybe not maybe i was right there at the beginning with carpool errs and incredible save i've never seen anybody have that problem and cloverfield old cloverfield those two were the two first things right yeah yeah so you've been there I've never seen anybody have that problem. And Cloverfield. Those two were the two first things, right? Yeah, so you've been there from the start. Okay, so you didn't slip anything past me.
Starting point is 00:06:13 And I've seen in a motion picture theater every movie that you've been in. You have? I have. I saw She's Out of My League in a theater. I saw The Goods in a theater. How many fucking movies have you been in? I didn't know you did so much acting. Well, don't really answer, I guess.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Okay, good. What a weird question and command. How many movies have you been in? Also, don't talk for now. What's your CV? And you now have lost the power of movement. TJ, start-stop. Yeah, that's
Starting point is 00:06:49 Yogi Bear I'm going to go see. I'm excited about that. They came up with a new slogan. I remember the last time you were here, there was a lot of discussion about the slogan. I said, what's the new slogan? You said, I don't know. Do you know what it is now? Life's a picnic.
Starting point is 00:07:04 A picnic. That's pretty clever, I said, what's the new slogan? You said, I don't know. And do you know what it is now? Life's a picnic. A picnic. Yeah. So that's pretty clever, the way they're appealing to young people by using a word that young people have never heard because they don't see old Yogi Bear cartoons. Because Yogi Bear is the only person who says picnic basket. It's better than the alternative.
Starting point is 00:07:20 They started out going from good things come in bears. And then the next one... Yeah, I wasn't going to bring it up again. He did 20 minutes on it the last time. I wasn't going to bring it up again. It was the slogan that shall not be named.
Starting point is 00:07:39 And yet, there it is. And then what was the second one? It's not me going back into that territory. It's just bringing it up to make it a three-structure to tell what was the second one? It's really, really, it's not me going back into that territory. It's just bringing it up to make it a three structure to tell you that the second one was Life's a Pick-a-Knicker. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:07:55 So they weren't able to do that. That sounds dicey. Life's a Pick-a-Knicker. That sounds like a movie. I just thought of that on the spot. Oh, okay. I thought he was serious. You're using my mind.
Starting point is 00:08:04 You thought I was serious? Yes. I gotta tell you serious. You're using my mind. You thought I was serious? Yes. I gotta tell you, Warner Brothers marketing is stupid enough to say good things come in bears, but I don't think anybody is dumb enough to say life's a pick-a-nicker. I almost wasn't dumb enough to say it.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Then I thought better of myself. How about a door barrel? See, it's hard. I'm just saying. It's not an easy job coming up with shitty slogans for movies. Alright, let's come up with a good one for Yogi Bear and maybe
Starting point is 00:08:36 they can change it. I like a door barrel. A door barrel? Hey, Yogi Bear, December 17th. A door barrel. A door barrel. People are like, what? What's happening? I was trying to say like a door barrel? Hey, Yogi Bear, December 17th. A door barrel. A door barrel. People are like, what? What's happening? I was trying to say adorable. It'd be a great way to confuse the masses.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Oh, I thought of a good review for it. Unbearable. Yes. I'm sure you'll be the only one to come up with that, Doug. Bear with me. Right. No, that's nice. Try and grin and bear it, but you won't be able to
Starting point is 00:09:06 because of Justin Timberdick or whatever his name is yeah I don't care doesn't matter I wasn't gonna go until I found out he was the voice of Boo Boo and then I was sold yeah
Starting point is 00:09:21 it totally swayed me can you imagine in Warner Brothers' mind that they're thinking like, okay, here's the deal. How do we get girls age 12 to 17? What if Boo Boo is Justin Timberlake?
Starting point is 00:09:35 And they really believe that girls will be like, wait, hold on. Who's voicing the 1960s cartoon Bear Sidekick in the original voice and not his own, J. Tim, I'm there.
Starting point is 00:09:49 I'm there and I'm humping my seat when my mom's not looking. Do you think he's going to do the talk show circuit for that movie? Oh, I hope so. Because that might be a reason to put somebody like that in. It is just to get him to go out and talk about it. They really do want his name.
Starting point is 00:10:03 I mean, that's why they put it on there. That's what I like about Pixar is they can just be like, Ed Asner, boom, done. You know, they don't have to be like, oh, will the kids like him? Life's a Pixar-nic basket. You know what?
Starting point is 00:10:16 That attempt was a real door barrel. Fun with words. Oh, Jack Korkman. Oh, T.H. Mills. All right, T.J., here's what I didn't like about your character in Unstoppable. First, I was disappointed that the movie wasn't about diarrhea, but then secondly... Secondly...
Starting point is 00:10:43 In what world is that okay? Your character frustrated me When he called Rosario Dawson A ball buster When everyone knows she was right When she was yelling at you Well, Ethan, do you want to take this one? You could just say it was the character
Starting point is 00:10:59 You don't have to take personal credit I think that was an ad lib It was an ad lib on TJ's part. Oh, he threw that in? Yes. It was an ad lib, and I will say that I was very frustrated with her because she told us to immediately get on a high rail. Now, if the independent brake was applied as we thought,
Starting point is 00:11:20 and I will fight you to the death on this, and we will. I can do this with any film. You thought it was going to be fine. You thought that the train was going to the death on this. And we will. I can do this with any film. You thought it was going to be fine. You thought that the train was going to slow down on its own and that you'd get there and then have to wait for this slow train and maybe even backpedal to go get to the train. Doug, it is basic train physics. Listen, if the independent brake is applied,
Starting point is 00:11:38 eventually it's going to slow down to a stop. So to put us on the high rail to go and get it isn't necessary. We only later find out that the throttle was set to what? Ten? I think so. Full power, right? Connie, full power. He's probably done a few other movies since Unstoppable, so he's got
Starting point is 00:11:55 other things in his head. No other movies. What? I've been in forced retirement. No, not really. I did pilots, many pilots. Oh, okay. And none of them went? Yeah, this became very somber.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Why did it get so sad? Why did you guys make it so sad? Yeah, how many pilots did you get that went? You jerks. What a sad moment in that man's life. Yeah, I didn't understand. His kid goes to French immersion camp. I didn't understand his look of jealousy
Starting point is 00:12:25 when you were talking about Yogi Bear, that you'd moved on to another project since Unstoppable. He's just watching your career now, feeling bad for himself. I don't know. I mean, I think even, you passed on Yogi Bear, on the whole movie even being made. Ethan was like,
Starting point is 00:12:41 don't do it. Don't bother. I'm against it. How come they don't show Andy Daly in the previews and stuff? Because he's supposed to be the villain of the piece. He is the villain of the piece. They're focusing on the bears. Have you seen the billboards?
Starting point is 00:12:55 You know what? I don't know why that was so funny to you guys, but I don't care. America loves bears and it's been tried and tested. Don't take your eyes off the bears.
Starting point is 00:13:06 It's a bear thing. That could even be a... That could. Yeah, it's a bear thing. And they did. They kind of urbaned up. They have a moment in the trailer where they're like, hit it, boo-boo, and he puts on hip-hop.
Starting point is 00:13:15 And the ranger's like, you guys, this is the music of low-income people. I think that's going to get cut, but that was the original line. What's scarier than bears to white people at the park? Black music. That was director's cut, I think. Now, is it
Starting point is 00:13:34 spoiler alert to ask if they stopped the train? Because you can run away from bears. You can't run away from that loud music. No, but you know what? I've heard this. If you run downhill and a black person with a boombox is chasing you, they'll catch up to you and kill you. That was an amazing joke.
Starting point is 00:13:53 How did you learn that? You were with someone? Yeah, I was with somebody. Ah, God rest his soul. Leslie Nielsen, too soon. No, that's what he wanted on his epitaph that's what he wanted on that word
Starting point is 00:14:10 that's hard nobody ever has you never have to say epitaph so you don't you don't get it down right so true but I would like to say so true Doug
Starting point is 00:14:20 wait but did they stop the train oh spoiler you can't say we did not stop the train they don't personally stop You can't say. We did not stop the train. They don't personally stop the train. They're like somewhere breathing a sigh of relief when it gets stopped. Now, I know it's not a spoiler to say that the train gets stopped
Starting point is 00:14:34 because it's just that kind of movie. You just know that it's gonna, it's not, but it's about the journey. It's about, you know, it's about how they not it but it's about the journey. It's about you know It's about how they stopped that train and how exciting it is along the way because once you guys fuck up and that train gets Moving it's pretty much. It's on for the rest of the movie, but Doug we are part of the reason that the train stops because without us we never would have found out that the Throttle was set to full and they wouldn't have known that it wasn't a coaster.
Starting point is 00:15:07 So in a way, we and Denzel stopped the train. Without our information. So you're saying probably Chris Pine is fourth. It's Denzel, you guys, and then Chris Pine in order. I don't know why. That's accurate. I think that's accurate. Why are we together in that?
Starting point is 00:15:22 We're a team. It goes Denzel, ETHJ. We're a team. We're a team. It goes Denzel, Eeth J. That was a bad one. Denzel, then it's Teethan. Yeah, that's a good one. Isn't that weird how that's better?
Starting point is 00:15:35 Teethan, and then Chris Pine. You know what the movie needs, and I haven't seen it, but like a montage of you guys freaking out to We Didn't Start the Fire. Like, that sounds like that would be such a fun scene.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Jen Kirkman! Home run! You guys just go somewhere and put that on and start breaking plates. Just go out of your minds. Because your characters really do set in motion what could end up being a cataclysmic event.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Don't say that one out there either. Epitaph. Can't wait for the next animated cat movie. A cataclysmic event. Yeah. You know what's great about that? Jen wants to work in advertising for things that might happen. She wants to really put the cart before the horse
Starting point is 00:16:24 and come up with the ad first which they actually do sometimes now they think of like what the selling point is and then make it yeah they did they had the date for yogi bear before they did it i just like that when she said that at the beginning none of us knew what was going on like she was like i can't wait for the next cat movie and all of us are like well well, I guess she's lost it. She is wearing a weird hat. I guess this is when we see a woman break down.
Starting point is 00:16:51 She just thought it was so... We're all like, thank God. I know we laughed because it was very funny, but I think it was more of a sigh of relief, like, she's not insane. Oh, I'll take it. This isn't a weird hat, though. I thought she had not insane oh that i'll take it this isn't a weird hat though i thought she had to suddenly say that just because she felt it was important to interject
Starting point is 00:17:11 an opinion about movies into the conversation and that was just something that popped into her head but she's that excited about the next cat movie ethan's been over here also doing the same thing. You guys can't hear it, but he's been mumbling under his breath. A hundred and fun Dalmatians. Oh, Doug, I hope you're not mad at me this time.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Because I'm having fun. Why did they use that? They didn't use that at all. They didn't use that? They didn't use that at all. They didn't use that. They didn't use that. They should have. If they would bring all of us in. Let's think of more ads that could have been. Ethan, what do you think?
Starting point is 00:17:51 What kind of ads should there be for things? I am totally lost in this whole conversation. We're just trying to think of... Well, Doug, you explain it. I thought of a good slogan for Unstoppable. It would be on the poster and say Unstoppable and then underneath and you watching this movie
Starting point is 00:18:10 has nothing to do with the outcome. That's terrible. I don't know. It was so good when I was working it out in my head. I was like, oh shit, there's a lot of words coming out. It was conceptual in a way that wasn't totally communicated.
Starting point is 00:18:25 I totally understand. I'm just saying we all know that the train is going to stop. So the title is a lie. Well, what if that was it? Unstoppable. The title is a lie. People will be like, this is the next Inception. I'm going into it.
Starting point is 00:18:45 It's already a riddle. Unstoppable on opposite day. Is it a train or is it two people making love? What does it mean? That's not a train. I got something I got to do, if you don't mind. No, of course. I almost forgot to do this.
Starting point is 00:19:01 I was going to do it last week and it didn't happen. And now I was almost going to not do it this week. A lovely group of young men, I assume they're all men, sent me their version of, they recorded a version of the Douglas Movies theme song. And yeah, you know, and I've had some pretty cool bands and singers do the theme song. And so they decided to pile on.
Starting point is 00:19:26 And I was like, well, I'll play it, but not necessarily at the beginning of the show. I just want to play it during the show and see what everybody thinks. The band is called Lordosis. And it's like, yeah, it's like kind of a garage band. But here's the best part. In the email, he said, describing the band,
Starting point is 00:19:47 we're mostly scientists. So it's scientists who have a garage band named Lordosis. And if you guys are ready in the booth, let's listen to their version of Doug Loves Movies theme by Hardin. booth let's listen to their version of doug those movies theme by hard and firm Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Keep it down out there. Yeah. really sell it, at the very end there should be the sound of a door opening and like a mother yelling at them. Keep it down out there. Or a lab door opening and them being like, we just fixed cancer. It would be also funny.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Get back up here. We are fixing cancer now. Fixing cancer. The least articulate scientist would be the name of that show. I feel like they are wearing lab coats when they're playing, yeah? I don't know. I think they have a great sound,
Starting point is 00:21:12 and I think it's cool, and it's like what the Strokes wish they were, maybe a little more production. And if they have those lab coats on, that's a thing. Oh, boy. I'm going to say they have a great future in handing out demos.
Starting point is 00:21:26 So I'll be the Simon Cowell. You can really talk it up when you're handing out the demo. Well, I'm sure they're going to be thrilled to hear that. They're going to be Googling Jen Kirkman in no time. Ethan, what did you think? I liked it. It sounded nice.
Starting point is 00:21:43 There you go. Put that on your goddamn record, Lordosis. I liked it it sounded nice There you go put that on your god damn record Lordosis I liked it it sounded nice Ethan Suplee From Unstoppable Hey let me ask you this Ethan I can never see the dinosaur
Starting point is 00:22:01 Or the sailboat or whatever When I'm staring at those things. Could you see it? Or was that frustration good acting? I had to work to not see it. Really? Yeah. It just popped right out for you.
Starting point is 00:22:18 And then you had to pretend you couldn't see it and get mad about it. It was total bullshit. Yeah, I could see it the whole time. And it actually was a sailboat. All right. Well, I... Yeah, I could see it the whole time. And it actually was a sailboat.
Starting point is 00:22:24 All right, well, I... Oh, shit. I can never see those things. No matter how much people tell me how it works, I'm always like, have you ever noticed one of my eyes doesn't cooperate? But I loved also in the Lordosis cover of the song that I'm pretty sure they say that I don't like sticky sweets. And it's sticky seats is the lyric.
Starting point is 00:22:52 But I think they just heard it and then had to recreate it. They're like, we've got to figure out what is going on. He doesn't like sticky sweets. Can't stand taffy. You can be an unsticky sweet. I'm all in it. All right. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:23:11 What time is it? How are we doing on time? Oh, we're getting close. It's almost time to play a game. Let me ask Ethan one more question because we got him down here, and I appreciate him participating in the in the program how much how much less do you weigh between unstoppable and now because you are I'll take a picture at the end of the show to show all the Twitter followers but you you're
Starting point is 00:23:37 looking pretty good yeah close to 100 pounds whoo and you were like but you were on this you were on yeah 100 pounds but you were on the, yeah, 100 pounds. But you were already on your way in Unstoppable, right? You'd already lost some weight. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, awesome. Congratulations.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Is there a secret you can share with everybody, or is it just work out hard and eat less? Yes, that's the secret. That's it. Just work out more and eat less. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to do. And he's bicycling like a maniac. He just did a triathlon. That's working out. trying to do. And he's bicycling like a maniac. That's working out.
Starting point is 00:24:06 A triathlon? I only did the bicycle portion. He paid two young Filipino boys to do the other two parts. I'm just going to one-ass. I'm only going to one-ass this time. I'll work up to two or three later in my career.
Starting point is 00:24:23 But that's awesome. That's a really great way to do it I guess bicycling Good luck with that everybody You want to lose a hundred? Yeah That would be fucking great Just live in a hospital I'm tired
Starting point is 00:24:38 Live in a hospital I'm not going to tell you what I would weigh if I lost a hundred You whippersnapper You're right, Jen. That was a genius move. Asking what she would weigh after losing 100. Because then you would just add 100 to it and then be like, ooh. Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:24:55 I didn't even think of that. You totally wanted to figure out her weight, dude. What if that's what guys did? Instead of trying to figure out how to look up someone's skirt or look down their shirt, they're like, let's figure out her weight. They go over there like, hey, you know mangoes weigh like three pounds at their largest? How many mangoes do you think you weigh? What would you weigh if you lost like 40, 50 pounds?
Starting point is 00:25:20 Like 110? That wasn't you. That's some girl in the bar. I was just looking at you when I said it. That hurt. I'm just saying that'd be a smart way to figure it out. If you were a guy who gave a shit about exactly
Starting point is 00:25:35 what somebody weighs. Right, but you don't. I don't care. You're a fucking feminist. Here it is. I want to ask, Jen, have you seen any movies that you like? Do you go to movies? Once in a while. I like to watch them at is. I want to ask, Jen, have you seen any movies that you like? Do you go to movies? Once in a while. I like to watch them at home.
Starting point is 00:25:49 I saw Get Low was the last movie I saw in the movie theaters. Ooh, artsy. How was that? We got a whole section that loves Get Low over there. I thought it was the best movie. I was sobbing so hard
Starting point is 00:25:57 that I was shaking and I just thought it was a wonderful movie. We were doing like a last minute, you know, Academy push on it, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:04 trying to get Robert Duvall a Best Actor nomination. He's always amazing. That guy is one of the best actors. I thought the last... He picks kind of boring movies sometimes, but... To put this much on a movie and go, at the end he's going to reveal a big secret. You better be a fucking great actor to live up to that moment. And he did it.
Starting point is 00:26:22 The secret is that he can talk to dead people. Don't give away what the secret is. I will say, if you liked Get Low, you're going to love Yogi Bear. Well, Get Low ended up using Good Things Come in Bears. Life is a picnic. That was also Get Low's tag. Did you say life is a buccanick?
Starting point is 00:26:47 A picnic. I'm going to make a buccanick list. Oh my God, how great would that be? Picnicer, please. Too soon. Too soon? It's been like 300 years. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:02 soon? It's been like 300 years. Okay. I don't have shit to do with that. I have a bodyguard tonight. I'm glad about that. I don't see any. Okay, so... Would it have been just like over there, just in the corner,
Starting point is 00:27:35 this woman stood up and she had a picnic basket with her and she had like a French roll under her other arm and she just looked at you and shook her head and just walked out the door. There was one picnicker here.
Starting point is 00:27:54 I couldn't see her. It's dark. I can't see. I can't see all the picnickers. She's not African American. She's just a picnic enthusiast. I want the list of people who know I'm not participating in this. She's without her papers.
Starting point is 00:28:13 If you know what I'm saying. I don't even know what I'm participating in. Seemed like fun, but maybe it was terrible. Okay, scientists, next song, Pic a knickers. Write it. Can you imagine?
Starting point is 00:28:29 You could see T.J. Miller on The Benson Interruption on December 17th. Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. That's the day Yogi comes out. I know. All I ask of every person listening
Starting point is 00:28:38 is if you go see Tron, buy a ticket for Yogi. Oh, they both have 3D glasses, so you buy the Yogi ticket and then cruise into Tron. I like ticket for Yogi. Oh, they both have 3D glasses. So you buy the Yogi ticket and then cruise into Tron. I like it. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, no, that's right. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:52 I got scared for a second that you were tricking me. But no, that's right. Buy your ticket for Yogi and then sneak on into Tron. Because you think when the numbers come in on Yogi, they're going to go, that's a little higher than we expected. Oh, wait a second. TJ Miller. No, no, no. They'll say than we expected. Oh, wait a second. TJ Miller probably mentioned it on a podcast.
Starting point is 00:29:08 They'll go, fucking I love movies. Okay, let's make a Doug Loves Movies pledge. Everybody that's listening to this, you get to hear it for free every week. If you're going to see Tron, ask for Yogi Bear 3D and then sneak into Tron. Let's do it. Hopefully the glasses won't be wildly different.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Like Tron, you get really cool glasses and Yogi Bear, it's two picnic baskets. That you can't see through. The side portions, whatever those are called, are just both of the bear's dicks. Boy, no part of that was worth saying. But what are the side portions of glasses called? The rims?
Starting point is 00:29:47 The stems? The stems? No, what is it? Arms? The arms of the glasses? Really? I'm going to put some arms around my face. Be safe getting back to your castle on your horse.
Starting point is 00:29:59 The arms of your glasses? Fuck you. The arms of your glasses. Fuck you. The arms. It feels just like my glasses are hugging my head. Kill yourself. All right, so now we're entering, TJ, the no riffing zone. Okay. Where we're going to run out of time
Starting point is 00:30:22 if we don't just play the game earnestly and feverishly. So Leonard Maltin game. I asked Ethan to listen to an episode of the show so he'd know how to play. Of course, Jen has been on before and won when she was on. So she's defending that title. Yeah, I'm ready.
Starting point is 00:30:41 TJ, could you pick someone in the audience to play for? Yes, I'll pick Donna Donna's She's got a name tag that lights up Donna You and me It's Donna Ethan who would you like to play for I picked our dog right when I walked in
Starting point is 00:30:57 Our dog And Jen do you have a favorite in the crowd here Picnic me A guy here? Picnic me. A guy just yelled picnic me if your podcast listeners didn't hear it. And now he's being beaten to death. This guy, I think it says Jordan with the Back to the Future font. Back to the Future, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:16 It says my name is Jordan. Jordan, I pick you. But it looks like Back to the Future. Nice job. 25th anniversary. That's right. Basically, he kicks ass. This guy knows his shit. Nice job. 25th anniversary. That's right. Basically, he kicks ass. This guy knows his shit.
Starting point is 00:31:27 All right. So we'll start with Jen, and we'll move this way and come back around like that. And Jen, you can pick the first category, which you like. Cartoons that were made into movies. Someone called The Average Joe on Twitter suggested that. Best Picture losers. That's movies that were nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards and lost. That was submitted by someone named
Starting point is 00:31:51 AtReallyCheeks. Today's Daryl Hanna's birthday. For a category, movies that feature Daryl Hanna. Well, I think in honor Fuck Daryl Hanna's birthday. I've had
Starting point is 00:32:05 four sips of beer. In honor of the cartoons made into movies, guys. TJ, cartoons made into movies. Yeah, not both of those guys. There's only one of them that moved on to Earl, buddy. Cartoons made into movies. Alright, would you like one from
Starting point is 00:32:21 1994, 2001, or 2004? 94. you like one from 1994 2001 or 2004 94 what were the first one you said yeah 94 leonard malton gives this two and a half stars uh he says uh it's it's bouncy he calls it bouncy and he says that the uh the cast is enthusiastic. Of course they are. They're bouncy. It's usually not like, oh, it was a sad movie, but very bouncy. So two and a half stars.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Bouncy, enthusiastic cast. And there are ten names. How many names do you think you can get it in? Four. Jen? Four names. Four? Wow, that's a good opening bid.
Starting point is 00:33:11 So Ethan, you can either say name that movie or you have to bid lower. And name that movie means she has to do it. She has to do it, yeah. Name that movie. The Flintstones. Ethan says name that movie. She says The Flintstones
Starting point is 00:33:20 without me even saying the names. Too bad that's wrong. Whoa! I'm kidding. It's The. Whoa! I'm kidding. It's the Flintstones. I'm kidding. Oh, God. That was...
Starting point is 00:33:35 That was... It is a breath of fresh air to have a competent player. That was truly... I don't even watch movies. I'm just so fucking smart I totally fell for both Alright TJ We'll let you pick the next category
Starting point is 00:33:52 That's a bad idea At DVant Submitted this category Zombie movies Or this was submitted by someone Named at foul mouth Matt He suggested Kurt Russell Movies movies great or uh this was submitted by someone named at foul mouth matt uh he suggested uh kurt russell movies and i said hell yeah kurt russell movies because i was talking about how awesome he
Starting point is 00:34:13 is he's in the beginning of the uh we are the world video the comedy death ray did this year for christmas uh and he's he's great. Or movies about movies. Zombies, Kurt Russell, or movies about movies? I feel like I do better with zombies, but movies about movies is intriguing. Let's do movies about movies. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Although that Kurt Russell thing was great, foul-mouthed Matt. Is that who it was? Let me check. This is a good use of time. Okay, great. I'm off, Matt. Way to go, you piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Fuck yourself, Matt. He just got 12 new followers. 1978, 1980, or 2000? 1970, what is it? Yes, 1917. 1917. 1864, 1753. Doug, I'll take 1917. 1917. 1864, 1753. Doug, I'll take 1917.
Starting point is 00:35:10 1978, 1980, or 2000? 2000. Okay. This was in 2000. Leonard gives it three stars. He says that the writer-director has fun. The writer-director has fun. And he says that this particular movie about movies is an easy target.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Bouncy. No bouncy this time. Three stars. Writer-director had fun. Easy target. And there are 13 names. Start the bidding. Oh, but it's a documentary, right? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:47 What? I don't know. All right, never mind. No, it's like movies that are about making movies. I can do it in 12. Okay. Jen Kirkman? He can do it in 12.
Starting point is 00:35:57 I can do it in 8. Ethan? She seems really smart. I'm not. That was lucky, the last one. I'll try for seven. Seven names, TJ. Ethan Suplee.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Name that movie. Did I say it wrong? No. It's Suplee? Yeah. How did you say it? I said Suplee. Either way.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Okay. What do you prefer, though? Suplee. The correct way. I thought TJ would know the correct way. Okay. What do you prefer, though? Supplee. The correct way. I thought TJ would know the correct way. Supplee? Sure. Yeah, we'll call you Supplee.
Starting point is 00:36:34 How many names does Supple have to guess it in? Eight. Eight names, okay. Is that right? No, seven. Okay, seven. Never have a stoner host a game show okay seven names uh jj johnston clark greg michael higgins ricky j julius styles david paymer and patty lupone can i phone a friend
Starting point is 00:37:00 no it was me writer director having fun it's a movie about movies. Oh, it was me. It's writer-director having fun. It's a movie about movies. In 1978? And so it's 2000. 2000. 2000. Totally different era of filmmaking. You picked 1917.
Starting point is 00:37:15 I think Ricky Jay is the best name in there as far as helping to narrow it down. Can I ask a question? Is it considered cheating? What does movies about movies exactly mean? It's not like the making of blah, blah, blah, but like a character in the movie might be an aspiring filmmaker,
Starting point is 00:37:29 but it's not a remake of a movie. No, I picked movies that are all like, you know, have, the subject matter is making movies. Oh, okay, okay. Like it's not just a character who does it. Like it wouldn't be like Charlie's Angels just because Matt LeBlanc's character
Starting point is 00:37:42 is an actor in that movie. Right, but I consider friends... Interesting poll, Doug. I consider friends a movie about making movies. Well, that's true. Do we get hints? Did you see the Jean-Claude Van Damme episode? I already gave you the clues.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Is it David Mamet? That's not the name of the movie. He would make a movie called that if he thought people would come, I'm sure. But you seem to have narrowed it down a bit, but I don't know. It doesn't sound like you know which one. I don't. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:12 I have a guess. It doesn't mean anything, but you can tell us anyway. If Ethan officially gives up. Do you give up, Ethan? I don't know. Okay, he gives up. You know what? If it doesn't mean anything, then I never want to say it.
Starting point is 00:38:26 What is it? What's your guess? Will it mean something? Whatever movie I say, you're just going to say that's what I was going to say. No, I'll guess first. You said it's going to mean something. Guess it means a lot to me. Is it the TV set? No. Shit. Oh, it was a good movie.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Yeah. And that could have been one of the... That was about making a TV show Wasn't it? Or was it making a movie? Making a TV show Yeah yeah So that wouldn't count Charles Durning
Starting point is 00:38:50 Rebecca Pigeon Sarah Jessica Parker Philip Seymour Hoffman William H. Macy People in the audience Are saying it And Alec Baldwin And it was called
Starting point is 00:38:58 State and Maine Oh I never would have guessed that It was a mammoth film then Yes it was So you got that much of it So do you want to Have half a point? Yes Alright yes it was so you got that much of it so do you want to have half a point yes all right so
Starting point is 00:39:07 TJ got the point on that one and we'll start with Jen this time would you like best picture loser a zombie movie or Kurt Russell I'm not gonna know
Starting point is 00:39:19 any of these that's a terrific attitude I'm going best picture loser Alright These movies that were nominated for best picture Did not win from 2007, 2008 Or 2009
Starting point is 00:39:32 2008 Okay Leonard Maltin gives this four stars I'd go a little shy of that He says it has a fascinating premise. And he says, kudos to the stars. Which is what I say every night as part of my bedtime prayer. Okay, so four stars, fascinating premise, kudos to the stars.
Starting point is 00:40:04 And there are 12 names. And it did not win Best Picture in 2008. How many names do you think you can get in, Jen Kirkman? Nine. She says nine names, Ethan. I'm not going to beat her. So you want to say name that movie? Name that movie.
Starting point is 00:40:21 No way! Oh, you say the names, though. I'll say the names, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, you don't have to jump in like you did with Flintstones oh okay you get to hear
Starting point is 00:40:28 eight names thanks nine I said nine she said seven no seven I heard I heard four
Starting point is 00:40:37 I heard a bearable how many was it for real nine okay how many was it for real? Nine. Okay. How many was it for real? The audience is a judge.
Starting point is 00:40:48 The audience judges. Okay. Nine names. Elle Fanning. Rampai Mohodai. No buddies. Phyllis Somerville. Elias Koteas.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Jared Harris. Mahur Fasu Fasu Ali. Jason Fleming Tilda Swinton and Julia Ormond that should give it away I'm not a movie person can we hear the Arabic
Starting point is 00:41:15 wait wait wait it's M-A-H-E-R-S-A-L-A-L-H-A-S-H-B it's got the word hash in there she looked like a guy S-A-L-A-L-H-A-S-H-B. Tilda Swinton. It's got the word hash in there. Hash is in there. She looks like a guy and looked kind of ugly or something. Tilda Swinton? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:34 That's the name of the movie. She got it. Tilda Swinton's in it and she looked kind of ugly and like a dude or something. No, no, no. No, no. Not her. All right. I got to call it.
Starting point is 00:41:42 We have a three-way tie. I don't know. It's a three-way tie. It's official. Three-way tie. Because the movie you can't get is called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Oh, interesting premise. I should have gotten that. If I had said, who was the next name?
Starting point is 00:41:53 Who was the next name? The next name, that's a lot of names. The next name is Tajari P. Henson, who was nominated for Best Supporting Actress, and Cate Blanchett, and then, of course, Brad Pitt. Fuck, if I had gone all the way to Brad Pitt I would have guessed it. You know you should have started with that. If you'd have read the whole review I might have guessed it. If you told me it was curious and that it was not solved. See though I start big and then I end fast. And there were fascinating agents for coats. Okay we got it TJ. Oh my god your riff train is unstoppable. Okay, we got it, TJ.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Oh my God, your riff train is unstoppable. Get the floater. All right, so what happened there? So Jen got the point. Ethan called her on it. So TJ, we start with you. And you got the point. Oh, I'm sorry, Ethan got the point.
Starting point is 00:42:40 So it's a three-way tie. But it was between you two, so we start with TJ. Everybody's got a point. First person to do another point wins. All right, strictly business. Kurt Russell, Dara Hanna, are cartoons made into movies? Kurt Russell.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Yes. Kurt Russell movie from 1975, 1983, or 1997? 83. The audience is whispering 83. The audience said 83. Someone in the audience
Starting point is 00:43:04 really has their heart set on 83. Oh, please. I've been waiting for this all year. Do you remember who you're playing for, TJ? Yeah, Donna. Donna. Okay, and Ethan's playing for our dog. Jordan.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Okay, Jordan. Jordan, our dog. Donna. My point should count more because I actually guessed something, but that's not the game. Three stars from Leonard. Seems fair. Seems fair. are Donna. My points should count more because I actually guessed something, but that's not the game. Three stars from Leonard. Seems fair.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Seems fair. 1983, three stars. It's Kurt Russell's in this movie. So it's nice that Leonard says the movie has superb performances. And he also says that the script was written by two ladies. He doesn't say two ladies. He says their names. I'm saying two ladies. So this is 1983. was written by two ladies. He doesn't say two ladies.
Starting point is 00:43:45 He says their names. I'm saying two ladies. So this is 1983. Script written by two ladies. You've never censored that section of the hint? Yes, I have. Because it would give away too much if I told you their names. Just saying.
Starting point is 00:43:59 It's kind of unusual. 1983, two women wrote the script. How many names? That's a great clue. I'm excited about it. It means a lot to me. 18 names. I can do it. TJ Miller.
Starting point is 00:44:13 I can do it in 18. JK? 17. 16. Yes, that's 16. TJ? 15. Somebody's going to pull that's 16. TJ? 15. Somebody's got to pull the trigger someday. Jen?
Starting point is 00:44:30 I fold. So you say name it, TJ? Oh, name it, TJ. All right. How many are we down to? 14? 15. 15.
Starting point is 00:44:39 All right. I got to do them fast. Anthony Heald, Tess Harper, Ray Baker, M. Emmett Walsh, David Strathairn, Bruce McGill, E. Catherine Kerr, Henderson Forsyth, Sudi Bond, Joseph Sommer,
Starting point is 00:44:53 Charles Hallahan. How many is it supposed to be? You could have read, you could have just read the phone book. Ron Silver, Fred Ward, Diana Scarwood,
Starting point is 00:45:02 Craig T. Nelson. The three stars are not named. What is it? Any idea, T.J. Miller? You know, I don't have enough of an idea to not say Overboard. That would have been,
Starting point is 00:45:17 Overboard would have had a much better cast if all those people was in it. But the remaining three names are Cher, Kurt Russell, and Meryl Streep. Showgirls. That's correct. I got it. The movie's called Silkwood, and Jen Kirkman has done it again.
Starting point is 00:45:34 You won again. I did? I win? Yes, you did it. Now it counts. You won all this great stuff for Jordan, who made a neat sign. She brought a copy of her Jen Kirkman CD self-help that you can get from AST records. And she thought if you're not enjoying that,
Starting point is 00:45:52 she thought she'd throw in David Sedaris at Carnegie hall. So that's somebody, people were groaning with excitement over that. Doug beds, a professional humor idiot and also from AST records is in there. This book that somebody sent me me that's really easy to read It takes about four minutes to read Maybe two if you're good
Starting point is 00:46:09 It's called Movies Are Fun It's all these cute little pictures where like It depicts some crazy thing that happened in a movie And then it just has the line written out Now go home and get your fucking shine box Suggested Billy Batts But it's treated like it's a kid's story. Kane, what is it? What's wrong? Asked Ripley.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Ah, answered Kane. You should have the two movie stars sign the book. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. There you go. I got a sharpie. Hang on. That's a great idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a good idea.
Starting point is 00:46:44 There we go. You do what I say. I don't think I saw that. He wants us to write on his book. Who's it say it was sent to me from? Who sent me that? What does it say, TJ, right there? Josh Cooley. Doug Benson.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Love your podcast and your comedy. Josh Cooley, exclamation mark. Is he going to be sad you gave his gift away? I don't think so, because I mentioned it on my very popular podcast. Okay. But he might be pissed. I'm always paying shit forward. Our good friend Ruzi
Starting point is 00:47:09 gave me a bunch of government t-shirts. Government whatever that is. Look that up on the internet. Some drug thing. But he gave me shirts and they're too small for me and he said if they're too small for you, give them away.
Starting point is 00:47:26 So I'm giving it away. And you sign it too, Jen. It was your crazy idea. Jen, you sign it and say what part you would have been in the movie. You'll get your book in a little bit. No. Now, TJ, is there any chance you could quickly say what else Jordan has won from you and Ethan? Oh, Jordan, you have quickly won.
Starting point is 00:47:43 You can arrange with me by emailing me on my website a time when you and I will go to Magnolia on the corner of Sunset and Vine and we will drink an Arnold Palmer and I will give you what I got from Ethan, which is... A box of Vale Tudo videos. Which, who the fuck knows what that means. But it's something cool from a weird guy
Starting point is 00:48:08 that's been in John Q. And then I will also give you five bottles of extract that were used in the actual movie Extract with Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, or anything like that.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Limited edition. So just email me, and we're going to have an Arnold Palmer together. Oh, I should mention that one of those categories they said in the game today was suggested by Jay Cridlin from the St. Petersburg Times. I talked to him about my shows coming up at the Tampa Improv December 9-12.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Can I plug something? Oh, and the bidding is open on Comedy Death Ray holiday auction at ComedyDeathRay.com. Okay, go ahead. I'm taping my second comedy album here at UCB Theater December 11th, Saturday night, 10pm. Please come. One show, one shot.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Come to that, everybody. December what? December 11th, never forget. December what? December 11th. Never forget. December 11th at 10 p.m. I did a joke on the Benson interruption where I said I walked into a 7-Eleven, never forget.
Starting point is 00:49:20 I love it. And so now that feels like a callback. Even though you came up with it totally on your own. Oh, okay. I thought you were accusing me. No! You haven't seen the show yet. Even though you came up with it totally on your own. Oh, okay. I thought you were accusing me. No! You haven't seen the show yet, right? No.
Starting point is 00:49:28 That's what you told me backstage. Which is a good cover-up when you steal my joke. No, it's funny, but it's, you know. Hey, like mines, whatever. Right, like mines. Okay, so let's have another round of applause for TJ Miller, Ethan Suplee. Daniel, where where you at? Currently both starring in Unstoppable.
Starting point is 00:49:48 It's a lot of fun. Go see it. And of course, Jen Kirkman, who is Unstoppable in the Leonard Maltin game. And I'm going to take your picture here, you guys, in a second. But as always, Ben Tutlow is a shithead and the WikiLeaks guy is a shithead and the wiki leaks guy is
Starting point is 00:50:06 now it's time we're done to watch another talky eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky there's no room in his heart for you cause dog loves movies

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