Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Amy Miller and Sean Jordan guest

Episode Date: June 22, 2015

Live from the Helium Comedy Club in Portland, OR, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Amy Miller and Sean Jordan to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. It says here, my name is Doug, and I love movies. It's Doug Loves Movies! Or Doug Loves Dabs.

Because we are back At Helium Comedy Club In Portland, Oregon It's Sunday, Father's Day Happy Father's Day Any dads here tonight? I don't know why I was surprised by that I have kind of a zero dad demographic

that likes my work once you've had children they can't listen to my comedy or my podcast not only do I want to know where the dads are at where the name tag's at I've heard there's some good ones here tonight there's a lit up one over there I want to know where the dads are at. Where are the name tags at? I've heard there's some good ones here tonight. There's a lit up one over there.

There's another lit up one. I saw Kyling them softly on Twitter today. I'm not enjoying the biggest picture I've ever seen of Steve Buscemi. I'd like you to play a round of Dale Buscemi. Now you don't. Put that thing down. You don't have to hold it up anymore. I got the idea of it.

And your name is Steve? I didn't mean everybody. I just meant Buscemi. Because Buscemi was blocking all those other ones that I can't see because the lights are back down. There's a lightsaber-ish thing over there. Is that, have I seen that before? Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's a traveling dude over there. Oh, there's a picture of my face. Okay, turn the lights back down. I take it back. But thank you to everybody for bringing awesome name tags and good luck.

But thank you to everybody for bringing awesome name tags and good luck. Hope you get chosen. I'm saying to no one in particular. Although the Bishami guy, I kind of want that one to get picked. Speaking of helium, did I say that we were helium? I'll be at Philadelphia's Helium Comedy Club doing stand-up this Wednesday night at 9.45, because the 7.30 show sold the fuck out. Yeah.

And Los Angeles, Sunday, June 28th, that's next Sunday, Douglas Movies returns to the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics on Sunset Boulevard at 4.20 for just $10. I got some good guests. And, oh, Douglas Movies is coming to Pittsburgh on Sunday, July 12th. DouglasMovies.com for more than you need to know. The prize bag tonight that is full of stuff that I had in my luggage coming up from Los Angeles. So if a baggage handler had to look through my stuff, they're probably jealous of whoever wins tonight because

I brought a couple of posters and a thing that they're not all you know, wrinkled. Because I brought this nice hard case and I signed it. The case, not the posters. That was dumb. But um... So mount this on your wall and throw out the posters

uh it's probably better for the environment uh hypocritical ove poster and also a poster from when i went to the hangout music festival a few weeks back a guy in in L.A. that comes to Douglas Movies at UCB all the time. He made some hats that have the Douglas Movies logo on them. So I brought one of those. Yeah, it's kind of a, what do you even call that kind of hat? Like, not a conductor hat, but it looks kind of vaguely like Russian or something. And a Douglas Movies shirt. And a copy of my latest CD promotional tool.

And this is a cool book that a dude gave me. Marijuana Daily Gardening. How to Grow Indoors Under Fluorescent Lights. Probably pretty helpful during certain times of the year around here. I'm sorry again that you guys had to come inside on such a beautiful it's a sunny day but also not too hot, right? And also for me, we'll find out what the guests

brought in a second, but also for me is a binder that the Trailer Park Boys put my script in. It's got my name and Trailer Park Boys on it and it's all bent to fuck because it got ruined in my luggage. But, you know, you could throw it out for me.

It doesn't have the script in it. I can't give away the script, because that would be full of spoilers. The ones I was on aren't even going to be on Netflix until supposedly next March. But yeah, look for that. That's something to look forward to. What's next year going to be? 2016?

Let's give a big warm welcome to, one of these is a newbie, but we've got two great oldbies. Let's hear it for Amy Miller and Sean Jordan and Jeff Tate. Hi. First of all, let's say hi to first timer amy miller everybody local phenom who uh i got to know her through tweets uh i read some of her tweets and this is the one that sold me On having her on the show And I'm paraphrasing I think

Robert Downey Jr. looks like he has herpes But I'd still give him all the kisses Doesn't he look like he just has gnarly cold sores? I don't care She doesn't mind She's down with it So I was like that was a cool lady Because Robert Downey Jr. needs a break.

And she's giving it to him. This rule does not apply to regular dudes, by the way. Yeah, I hope the message is that she just wants to kiss dudes with herpes. What did you bring for the prize bag? I think I'm excited about it Amy Well it's my first time So I want to make a great impression Sure

I brought a prize package A Father's Day prize package Based on one of my favorite films Dirty Dancing So it's a great Father's Day film So it's a Dirty Dancing It's a dirty dancing. It's a dirty dancing soundtrack on vinyl.

It's a hand-drawn portrait of Jerry Orbach. World's greatest dad. Framed by my friend Anna on the back. It says, to Amy from Anna, girls forever. And just as it's like a sexy movie, I brought this pink negligee worn by me during some of my forbidden dances. Unwashed. Alright, pass it down.

Yeah, get that over here. The Christmas bow. I love the bow on there. That's a really nice touch. Very, very, very nice and considerate. Dirty dancing gift package is going to belong to someone today. You also know this guy locally.

He's been on the show here a bunch of times and in other places. Give it up for Sean Jordan, everybody. Hi. Totally. How's it going, dude? Fantastic, man. Have you ever been on the program with the gentleman sitting to your right?

I haven't. Oh, that's great. I know. Because you guys are buddies, right? Yeah. That's awesome. He's a pretty good game player. I'm going to fucking whip his ass.

Oh, I like it. I think Amy picked the right place to sit. You guys are going to be tearing into each other. I'm going to whip her ass, too. What? Wait a second. Well, it is Father's Day, so I need a guy to slap me around a little. It's only fair, you know.

Go ahead and push women back down. Get in the corner. Just this one day. Did you guys call each other and say, let's wear them backwards today? I just got his number earlier today, so we didn't... The mad call continued, I'll shave.

I won't. What do you got for the bag, Sean? I have some buttered popcorn, saltwater taffy. That's going to be dope to watch movies with. It's no negligee. I get that. A shitload of Sour Patch Kids. Wait, describe this stuff again.

It's buttered popcorn. Is it open? Like, can you reach in and have some? The winner can, yeah. Can one reach in and have some? I winner can, yeah. Can one reach in and have some? I was on the coast all weekend. I want to take one and try it. Yeah, go for it. It's your world, man.

It's, what is it? Do you want to try one, Jeff? Buttered popcorn. Just give him an empty bag. Saltwater taffy. It's going back over to you anyways eventually, but yeah, it's buttered popcorn, saltwater flavored taffy, and then a shitload of Sour Patch Kids, and then Judd Apatow's

book that was in my Bridgetown Comedy Festival swag bag. So you guys a little behind the magic right there. And then the thermals. That's a book? It's a book-ish, a collection of short stories. It's like a fucking pamphlet. That's not the whole book. That's like excerpts.

Yeah, it's like part of the excerpts That's not the book, Sean John Apatow spent his whole life writing this book Here's all 30 pages of it for everybody And if you guys know who the Thermals are They're a band from Portland Here's one of their records I don't have a record player So somebody who has a record player

can get their dick beaters on that. That'll be fun. What? And? Hands. Hands. Get your hands on it. And then...

How do I not understand any of Portland's words? This is just Sean. Yeah, I think they're just mine. Hey, is your popcorn not getting deep enough into your teeth? Try a new sticky version. That is the worst idea.

So it's not any good. No, it tastes good. I just taste a little bit of it just not any good. No, it tastes good. I just taste a little bit of it just to try it. But it doesn't taste bad, but it's just weird that it's so, like it's worse than popcorn. It's more in my teeth now. So if that's what you're looking for, it keeps you busy during the movie, I guess. You're right. Thanks for bringing all that stuff.

You can put all that in here. That's not too heavy to break. There's a DVD, too. A double feature. Straight Talk and Business Time, I believe. Business Time. Big Business. Big Business.

Big Business. I apologize. Straight Talk and Big Business. That's the best double feature ever. Are there any gay men here? Okay. See? Straight Talk and Big Business sound like an evening's worth of programming

On Fox News Oh Jeff Tate's here you guys Flew him in special Hello everybody Welcome to Portland Wait I said what you say Yeah you're supposed to say Welcome to Portland. Wait. I said what you say.

Yeah, you're supposed to say welcome to Portland, Jeff. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I got some stuff for the prize bag, too, Doug. Oh, I didn't even have to ask. Nope. I have a shirt that says

denim on denim. Is that just good advice? D.O.D. You know me. I have a shirt that says I have a shirt that says hot dogs and Gatorade. This is the highest crowd

you've shown that shirt to. Yeah. I've never heard it get that kind of a laugh before. It's like they all get the joke already. I don't even think it's a joke. It's a suggestion

and it's a suggested serving. Hot dogs? Two at least? And a Gatorade? It's just good living on a $4 budget. And those shirts and the one I'm wearing are available at ZipZooApparel.com.

ZipZoo Apparel. And when you buy them, 20% of all the money goes to a domestic violence shelter in Cincinnati. And I got both my albums Right here Which I have a lot of them in my suitcase So I'm selling them after the show

I have some that you can buy after The winner gets those two The rest of you can buy them Right? Then in that case they're all winners Yeah That money helps me And what's this? This is an album It's called Trouble in Mind by Hayes Carl Yeah, that money helps me.

And what's this? This is an album. It's called Trouble in Mind by Hayes Carl. And I just fucking love this album. And I saw it at a used CD store and bought it and decided to pass it on. Hayes Carl, C-A-R-L-L. What's his music like? What kind of music is it? It's country music.

Okay. Like good. Good country music. Thank you for steering us away from the bad country music. Yeah, some... I mean, a lot of it is real shit. But Hayes Carl is fucking pretty rad. Do you think he would appreciate you

taking down his genre but pumping him up at the same time? Yeah. He'd be cool with it? Yeah, yeah, he... Yeah. Okay. Because from the cover, he doesn't look like somebody who would talk shit. No, he'll talk, he'll fucking talk a lot of shit. Really? Yeah.

Okay. He's a fun guy. How, how, you, so you've spent time with him? Yeah. All right. I met him a couple times. I did cocaine on his bus. I thought you were about to say butt.

And it was, but what's weird about rock and roll now is it was my cocaine. Like, I got onto his bus and then I was just like, I have cocaine. And everyone in the band was like, no thanks. And I was like, well, I don't get to be on buses a lot, so... I'll create my own story. I can take you on quite a few buses in town where we can do some cocaine. Gold 70.

Down to Selwood. Get all hopped up on that motherfucker. Okay. Sounded like you said cocaine. No, I know. I'll follow you along however many local references you plan on making maybe go up to lloyd center sure

sure man let's uh go to the fucking goonies house it's not local put your hat on forward that's not local you Put your hat on forward. That's not local. You're out of the club. The street that this club is on reminds me, it makes me feel like it's an area in Middle Earth. It sounds like a Tolkien thing or something.

You know, like, where are you going? I'll be over on Multnomah. I also said it like they would say it, so I cheated a little bit. I've never had anybody say it to me. Multnomah. How do you pronounce it? Multnomah?

Multnomah. Multnomah? Also not the street the club's on, but that's okay. That's right. I want to be picky. Hawthorne, that wouldn't have made any sense. Actually. Or what number street are we on?

Hawthorne is pronounced couch, though. Not a lot of people know that Wow we are getting smoked By their local references Doug Yeah we're on Hawthorne and 9th Nothing funny about that Just a fact You know Sean

You make local jokes You get local gigs What? Holy shit You know, Sean, you make local jokes, you get local gigs. What? Holy shit. Oh, that is... Yikes. A good friend of mine recycling a line that she used on a Shane Torres roast no more than four weeks ago, right?

No, it wasn't even mine. I stole it from somebody. It sounds like just a saying that's kind of out there amongst comics, because, you know, it's true. You don't want all your humor to be local, because then when you go to another town, they're not going to get it. It is like always the washed-up guys that say it, though. Although I did say Multnomah in Seattle, and someone yelled, it's not even on that street.

So you were doing local references to Portland when you were in Seattle. Yeah, that's, yeah, you followed it. It's proving the point that you can't travel with it. Amy, have you been to the cinema lately besides maybe obsessively watching Dirty Dancing? I have. I saw Jurassic World. I saw a lot of movies this weekend. Oh, I watched The Wolf Pack.

This is a good Father's Day film. Do you know about this? We talked about it on the last episode. I haven't seen it yet. Tell everybody what it's about. So good. So it's like these six kids in Lower East Side Manhattan that their dad won't let them leave

the apartment. Like until they're like 15 they don't go outside. So all they do is watch movies and then reenact movies and make their own movies. And they're all like super cool looking because they like have this real long hair. And like basically like if you're, it's the perfect

film to watch right now if you like obsess with movies and you have dad issues which I'm assuming is everyone in this room it's a documentary it got like

the grand jury prize at Sundance and it was incredible oh yeah that's another person that loved it I gotta check it out

they all have long hair so they look super cool I got stuck on that part well they just have like cool faces and they all have like long, so they look super cool. I got stuck on that part. Well, they just have cool faces, and they all have long, shiny hair. I think if Tarantino doesn't, because they reenact a lot of Tarantino movies, if he doesn't cast them in something, it'll be a grave injustice. I think they'll probably all show up, and when they finally get outside...

Watch out, world. All that long hair. They dress like they're in Tarantino movies. It's fucking rad. They're like going to the beach at Coney Island in black suits and leather shoes. It's so good. You gotta see it. Wolfpack.

Wolfpack. The Wolfpack. And I saw Jurassic World this weekend. But I'm sure many people have seen that this weekend. Yeah, I think so. I think it's doing pretty well. It's still making like $25 million a day.

I wasn't the only one there. People are eating it up. Good for them. Maybe the next one will be better. I heard a lot of shitty stuff about it. I haven't seen it, but I don't see why it wouldn't be good. I think you've mostly heard shitty stuff

from like comedians because we like pick it apart. But that's most, a lot of people I talk to love it too. I just, I just didn't, the balance of how lame everything was, you know, how weirdly all the characters were behaving and how uninteresting all of them

were the dinosaur special effects how great they were didn't make up for it enough for me you know like why not just watch dinosaurs fight each other and not bring the people into it at all fantastic I really liked it yeah that's what I'm saying.

People love it. You know, good for you. There's something... I wish Chris Pratt would have had longer hair. Watch it back to back with Guardians of the Galaxy and say which one

is a far superior motion picture and better use of Chris Pratt. Do you take his shirt off? And they use really good use of Dallas Bryce Howard in Guardians because she's not in it.

So should I watch The Village and Jurassic World back to back to see which one Bryce Dallas Howard is better in? Poor Bryce Dallas Howard. The only movie that is really a big, well now Jurassic World, but until now she tends to be in movies that nobody likes except for the one where she had to eat a pie made out of shit. The Help was like her biggest hit until now. Hold up, that's what that movie's about? Yeah. That's what Doug calls racism it's short for the helping what it's it's like a metaphor for racism like they eat shit and then they're and then they give it back yeah they take back the shit i mean they give the movie was about

something else altogether i think it's still about what you think it's about. It's just a plot point that I didn't feel like I was spoiling for anybody because the movie's seven or eight years old and that's all anybody talked about at the time was that somebody has to eat a shit pie. I'm never going to say that. And also, doesn't she make yummy noises while she's eating it? Like, doesn't she not even know that it's got shit in it?

Which, that's really crazy. Nobody in here knows what shit tastes like, so we don't know how bad it would actually be. It doesn't taste like a delicious chocolate pie, I bet. If it did, we would be able to repurpose quite nicely, you know? We don't know that. Like, have you ever smelled chocolate

and smelled shit? Right. Like, do you know the difference between the two? Now imagine it's in pie. Guys, guys, do you know the difference between the two? Now imagine it's in pie. Guys, guys, guys. Let's not talk about this today. Let's table this for Mother's Day. And I don't know, Jeff. We've been together the last couple days.

You haven't seen any more films since the last time we talked about this. No, I have not. You slept on the plane, which is probably a smart move. I watched the first half of John Wick the other day. I watch all... John Wick's gonna be on HBO soon, and I will just, every time I'm flipping around and catch it, I'm gonna

just watch the shit out of it. I just love that movie. It's ridiculous how much I'm into it. It's great. Spy? I saw Spy. That was real good. I don't remember if we talked about it. We did. Okay, never mind. Yeah, you loved it. You accidentally skipped. Spy? I saw Spy. That was real good. I don't remember if we talked about it yet. We did. Okay, never mind. Yeah, you loved it. You accidentally skipped me, but I saw Ex Machina earlier. Hang on a

second. Accidentally? Sorry, Doug. You messed up and you accidentally skipped me. I meant to not skip you. Ex Machina is great, right? It's fantastic. Yeah. That's one that's pretty universally liked.

Everybody that sees it seems to like it. The ending kind of bugged me a little bit. I mean, I don't know. Let's not talk about it, though. Did they make that robot lady? Just when you're watching the movie, just go, oh, Sean. That shit- Sean didn't like the shit-eating robot.

The penetration at the end was a little much for me. Give it the rating as such. Spoiler. No, it's not. Nobody has sex in that movie. I haven't seen any movies either since I saw True Story with Jonah Hill and James Franco. I still don't like it. Don't hate it. I watched all of Transformers 4

the other night on Netflix. You kept watching after TJ Miller died? I watched the whole thing. Because I got up in protest. I watched the whole thing. I even just made a little show for those people sitting there that didn't know I didn't want to watch the whole movie.

And when he died, I just stood up and went, that's bullshit! And walked out. It was insane. I don't know I didn't want to watch the whole movie. And when he died, I just stood up and went, that's bullshit, and walked out. It was insane. I don't know. It was a really, really, really bad movie. And I don't say that a lot. I like everything.

Pretty much everything. That was a bad movie. Oh, and did I mention I watched it in my living room when I was alone? You forgot. Now it's the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. And now it's the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. Ladies and gentlemen, go ahead and pick your name tags.

There's lots of good ones. Make sure you really look them over. We'll get the house lights up and we'll get our commercials on. We'll be right back after this message. Hey, hey, hey, you starting your own business? Well, they'll say you're crazy to put everything on the line to be your own boss, but not go daddy. They've got your back. They like that courageous, passionate kind of crazy, and they can help you put the idea or business you're crazy passionate about online with their get online today toolkit. You get a memorable domain name, a professional website,

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Wait, me too. Yeah, let's get some drinks. A couple Jameson on the rocks for you guys. Jeff, you want anything? I will take a cup of coffee, please. Oh, that sounds... You're going to get crazy. Quite the gentleman.

This show's going to be nuts. All right, Amy, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Colleen's versus zombies. She photoshopped her face onto everyone. Secretly, I just needed someone busty enough to fill out that negligee, so... Oh, okay. You had a good reason for picking that.

Glad you blew it. But that name tag is neat, too, because it's got, like, a thing in the back, so you can just set it up right. On your mantle. Yeah, look at that. Smart, Colleen. It's beautiful.

It'll be easy for me to remember, Colleen. Don't say your boyfriend made it. What? She didn't even make it. But he'll enjoy the prize. Sean, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Lena is her name. I'm just trying to get the full scope of what's going on here.

But I believe it says my name is Lena. And it's got... It's almost like a... Yeah, there we go. Lolina. Lolina, there we go. It's like a celluloid film strip lamp with a lolita... Like laminate in the middle of it looks like a jellyfish made out of

film okay if you wiggle it like that i'm sure my hands are shaking i definitely need that real light and there's a light inside yeah it's a don't let the stage lights elaborate contraption here comes your coffee jeff thanks here i'll hold that for you while you get your coffee. Well, what are the film strips from? Lolita? I bet you they're just random film strips. I don't think it's Lolita. Alright, Jeff, pour that coffee on my leg. Did I pour coffee on your leg?

It's like old sex clips. From something animated. Oh, an old sexy animated thing? Tight. Felix the Cat? Wait, what? It's Paranorman and Rango. Oh, Paranorman and Rango.

So no sex at all then. And what's the name on there? Is your name Olita? Lena. Lena, okay. Yeah. Got it. Okay, thank you, Lena.

Good job. Jeff, what's this about? I'm playing for Ali. Ali Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Look at that. There's candy on it. Yeah. And that's her with the Willy Wonka hat and bow tie.

There's you and Wahlberg and me on the top. Oh, we're Oompa Loompas. Yeah, we're Oompa Loompas. Oh, dream come true. Yeah. I want to be a chocolate factory owner's slave I mean Of all the

Things you could be a slave for Yeah, right Chocolate factory's okay Yeah They weren't enslaved though He saved them It's just like the whales at SeaWorld They got saved

And then They have to do a little dance Every time people pay money to see it The Oompa Loompas are the same way Gratitude They're dancing in gratitude Yeah, they love it They're so glad they got saved That's how they first started making all those shit pies

That we're all so fond of now Willy Wonka's shit pies But she attached some gobstoppers and some sweet tarts on there as well. And those were candies I enjoyed a great deal when I ate that kind of crap. Delicious. I still eat it.

You don't eat candy anymore? Thank you. I mean, I ate a little piece of this thing and that's going to be in my teeth until I die. It's not candy, that's future popcorn. Future popcorn. I love it.

They're all going to be eating that in 50 years. Alright, let's start with a game called Cluster Flicks, aka Don't Yell Amy Adams or any other bullshit or I will shame you or kick your ass out or both. A dude got thrown out of here one time.

It wasn't for that, but I threw a guy out one time and I felt bad about it because everybody here is so nice. That doesn't sound like everyone was nice. No, he was nice. He was just drunk. So he didn't know that he shouldn't just sit there and continually talk to me. I can take a hint. Yeah, have some more coffee.

Did you just say you knew who that was that he's talking about? Did you know the guy? No, I mean, I think I might have been at that show. Oh, she was at that show. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was...

I didn't know that guy. Yeah, I am. Yeah. And that's the night we fell in love. This guy doesn't put up with anybody's shit. I don't think he's ever

come to see me again because when you throw out somebody who's drunk, the next day, all they remember is being thrown out by a comedian and then hating that comedian for the rest of their life. Telling

everybody they meet, he threw me out of a show once for no reason. A real F&A hole, that guy. Yep. Thanks for cleaning it up, Sean. Take a long walk off a short pier, you know what I mean? Nope.

Really? Fall in. Fall in. Here's how Clusterflix works, you guys. I'm going to name three movies. The same actor or actress has appeared in all three of these movies. Maybe more than one has, but there's one I'm thinking of. And then if you can't, if no one can yell it out at that point,

I'll keep adding movies. Jeff's not sleeping. He's just thinking. No, just cream for his coffee. Oh, cream for your coffee. No, thanks. I'm just letting you know. Glad we took time for that.

Yeah. He probably would have come after it if he really needed cream in his coffee. It's right over here if you need it. Oh, okay.

Thank you. And then... Sweet and Low right over here if you need it. Oh, okay. Thank you. And then... Sweet and low is over here, too. Sugar. I'll keep saying movies that this person is in until somebody gets it right. Just yell at your microphone when you think you know it and you can have as many guesses as you want.

Understand? Here we go. I'll just move it back. Who was in Hoodwinked 2, Hood vs. Understand? Here we go. I'll just move it back. Who was in Hoodwinked 2 Hood vs. Evil and Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakquel and

Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked David Cross. David Cross, I think, was in two of those. Jason Lee. Jason Lee was also in two of those. Jason Lee. Jason Lee was also in two of those. Maybe just one. Jason Sudeikis. Nope.

Do you have a guess, Amy? David Alan Greer. Nope. All right, here we go. I'm going to keep adding. I said I'm going to keep adding titles. Okay. So hold on to Robert De Niro because that's a great guess.

Monsters vs. Aliens. Horton, Here's a Who. Shrek the Third. Danny DeVito? Nope. Antonio Banderas? Nope. The X. Robert De Niro. Zach Braff. Southland Tales.

Jason Bateman. Jason Robards. Envy. Jack Black. Ben Stiller. Christopher Walken. That horse they kill in Envy. Mr. Woodcock.

Sidney Poitier. Billy Bob Thornton. Sean William Scott. Hamlet 2. D.C. Pearson. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. There's somebody in the audience starting to try to say something. Don't, please.

Steve. I guess you can't stand it anymore if you know the answer. Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny. Kyle Gass. No. Steve Coass. No. Steve Coogan. No. Steve Buscemi. The guy who got blown up in Drop Back Thunder. No.

Christine Lottie. Ben Stiller. Mean Girls. Lindsay Lohan. Tim Meadows. Tina Fey. Jesus Christ. Baby Mama. Rachel McAdams. Paul Rudd. Amy Poehler. Amanda Seyfried. Amy Poehler is correct. Jeff got it with Amy Poehler.

They came together, blades of glory. Amy Poehler. The films of Amy Poehler. That girl, she's done a lot of voices in movies. Especially, she was the voice of Mr. Woodcock. Delightful Pixar film. Jeff is our winner, so he gets to go first

in the next game. What's the question, Sean? I thought that Mr. Woodcock was the Billy Bob Thornton one where he was a gym teacher. Yes, it was. Okay. I was making a joke

that why would she do the voice of the coach played by Billy Bob Thornton? And I wanted to say Woodcock again. So it all came together. Sorry I wrecked your day. That was one of the titles. They came together, yeah.

All right, so Jeff gets to go first in the next game, and then we will proceed over to Amy and then to Sean. This is a one-on-one thing. I'll speak to you directly when it's your turn to guess. And it's called, it's a new game whose tagline is it anyway and it's taglines be they famous or not from motion pictures I'll tell you the tagline and then you just have one guess and if you can't get it right we'll move on to the next player and they get to try. And whenever people miss, they're out until we have one player. Starting with Jeff, as promised.

Jeff, what movie had the tagline, time is running out? Time is running out. Is it Nick of Time? No, that's a great guess, though. Saw that with my dad. He's dead. Sean, I mean, sorry, Amy, what do you think it is? Is it Speed?

No, it's not Speed. Sean? Is it In Time? No, all three of you are wrong. You were so cocky about that. That was annoying. I was kidding when I was being cocky. All three of you are wrong, so everybody gets to stay in the game,

but the correct answer is Taken. The first Taken movie had that very generic, like, why wouldn't it be I've got a certain set of skills or get under the bed? Why would it be Why would it be this time is running out?

Time is running out in every movie because it has to end eventually. Not Transformers 4. Oh, so you didn't see the whole thing. You liar. I saw the whole thing. I was trying to make a joke. I'm trying to catch up.

I'm sorry. We'll start with Jeff again. Jeff, what movie had the tagline Expand your universe? Expand your universe. I don't like a demanding tagline, for starters. Don't tell me what to do. Tagline.

The theory of everything. Oh, that's a good guess. Wrong. Or should I have said, that is incorrect. Is that a hint? No, that was Stephen Hawking. Okay.

Sean, it was terrible Stephen Hawking, but some people seem to have gotten it. Is it Amy or me? Oh, Amy, I'm sorry. I'm going to say Spaceballs. If that's not right. There's a lady who was hypnotized and the guy said, you know, I'm going to unhypnotize you, but for the rest of your life, you're going to have an orgasm when you hear the word Spaceballs.

Ah! Somebody finally said it. She's been married for 15 years and never says Spaceballs. Say Spaceballs! That's my safe word. It's not right, is it? It'd be funny to on you know cause balls And they expand

People like that No it was a great answer You guys like that right Made some of us have orgasms But Sean still gets to guess I'm gonna say white oleander You're not even trying Were you just gonna say that no matter what the next tagline was?

I just want someone else to say it Because I myself was hypnotized ten years ago No, that was the tagline for Jupiter Ascending Jupiter Ascending, yeah Crazy Alright Oh, fuck that movie We're fucking killing this game

That movie has a half a dog in it like Spaceballs That was for you, lady Alright Your fifth one today Fuck that movie. We're fucking killing this game. That movie has a half a dog in it, like Spaceballs. That was for you, lady. All right. Your fifth one today. Spaceballs, Spaceballs, Spaceballs, Spaceballs. We're going to have to make... It's not going to be her fault when you kick her out now, dude. She's going to be freaking out.

You keep saying it. She's just moaning, not yelling any words. So moaning's okay? Yeah, that doesn't ruin the game. No, not for everybody. What answer is a moaning sound? You've never seen that amazing classic film? Ugh!

Ugh! Story of ugh! Here's the next tagline, Jeff. Oh, young. I feel like going first in this game sucks. Why? Because by the time it gets to Sean, two movies are off the board. You think the guesses have been that good?

Yeah, really. Yes. Why don't you pump the brakes, Tate? No, I just mean like I have to choose from every movie ever. And they have two less movies to worry about. He knows it's not whatever I say. That's an excellent point. Well, just get one right and then you won't be going first anymore.

I'm hoping. It'll rotate over. Or maybe it won't. The end of the earth will not be the end of us The end of the earth Will not be the end of us Jeff Interstellar

That's correct Okay now this game is yours to lose, Jeff, because we're going to move on to Amy, and she gets a new one, and it goes like this. One tiny spark becomes a night of blazing suspense. One tiny spark. I feel like the crowd knows something.

Becomes a night. I appreciate that laughter. Of blazing suspense. One tiny spark. Don't say it so sexy. What are you doing? I can't help it. It's Father's Day.

This is so stuck. I feel like I wish it was a dance movie about a midget dancer. People don't say that word. Sorry, we're not allowed to say that in Portland. You can't say dance in Portland. It's like Footloose. A little dancer. That little guy, Spark, really can dance.

A little dancer. That little guy, Spark, really can dance. One tiny spark becomes a night of blazing suspense. That little dancer has herpes. Just dancing on a cribbage board all night. I have no idea. Do you want to guess something? I'm going to say bring it on, too. Okay.

All or nothing, I believe, is the rest of that. Yeah, I do like an exact title sean knows what do you think it is sean is it that party movie project x maybe they start a fire right oh yeah a lot of things get started somebody laughed at me a little too hard out there it was logical what i just said they started a fire the house burned down it was kind of logical sure i mean it'd be a weird tagline for that movie, but nonetheless. Then my guess is... Do you want to just guess for fun, Jeff?

Um, no. All right, well, you win this game anyway. Yeah! Yeah. Is it Dante's Peak? You did guess for fun. No, it's not Dante's Peak. No, that wasn't fun.

But that's not... Is it Firestarter? No. Is it Drew Barrymore? No, it's not Dante's Peak. No, that wasn't fun. But that's not... Is it Firestarter? No. Is it Drew Barrymore? No. I don't think that movie took place just in the one night. The Purge? No.

Is it Carrie? No. Die Hard. Is it something about weed? Are we playing the make worse and worse guesses game? What did you say, Amy? Is it something about weed? It should be.

Like a cheat sheet? Because one tiny spark and holy shit. And then you blame it. The whole night you're like, oh, what's going to happen next? Blazing suspense. Yeah, I'm in blazing suspense.

Right. Wondering if I'm going to get busted or not. Oh, fuck. Who's at the door? Oh, fuck. We ordered pizza. Yeah. No, this is maybe the movie's too old, so

it just doesn't spring to mind, but I think a lot of people would just recognize it right away because it's a pretty good description of a motion picture called The Towering Inferno. Yeah. And it's also the kind of a cornball description they used to have on movies. But that's whose tagline is it

anyway? Jeff is our winner. Jeff is dominating in all the games today. And if we have time, which I believe we do, yes we do, we're going to play a round of everybody's new favorite, Last Man Stanton. And of course, I got messages on Twitter today from folks who think they have

the perfect name to play in Last Man Stanton, the game where the people on stage and only them, including myself, will take turns naming movies by a particular actor or actress, and if you can't think of one, you're out. Or if you can't think of one, you're out.

Or if you say one that's wrong, you're out. And I want my friend with the giant Buscemi face to have first crack at this. But if me and the panel don't like the name you suggest, we'll move on and find another one. We have to all agree that we're willing to play it. What? Do we? Because if it's a name that you don't know any of their movies, then we're starting from, you just lose without,

we haven't even started. Okay, what would you suggest? And no pressure, don't worry. I'm going to say Jeremy Piven. Jeremy Piven. Sure, dude. That's an interesting one. I say yes.

I can do it. You can do it? Yeah. Sean? Yeah, well, yeah, Sure, dude. That's an interesting one. I say yes. I can do it. You can do it? Yeah. Sean? Well, yeah, sure. Whatever. I'm not going to be the one that says no. Amy, you want to be a coward? Yeah, do you want to... Do you want to do Piven? Sure. Okay. What? We just did Jeremy Piven?

I see why he wants to do it now. I don't remember which ones we do. He smokes weed. He might have forgotten. Yeah. What? Yeah, in a different game. So thanks for chiming in with bullshit.

You're out. I believe them though. I was like, oh yeah, maybe we did do it recently. But yeah, it was the other game, and I did list a lot of his movies, but I already don't remember them. But if it makes you feel better, I could just not play this, because these guys certainly weren't involved in that one. Right?

Or were you on that show, Jeff? I think I was on that show. All right, let's get a different name. But good job. That was one we... Serendipity was... I was going to kill it with Serendipity, by good job. That was one we... Serendipity was... I was going to kill it with serendipity, by the way. That was going to be my Jeremy Pippen.

The only one I can remember is Gross Point Blank. Smoking Aces. Runaway Jury. Very Bad Things. PCU. Say Anything. One Crazy Summer. Chef.

I already said two answers, so I'm already... That's Jeremy Pippen. We're doing it anyway. Chef. Entourage. Entourage, the movie. Entourage doing it anyway. Jeff. Entourage. The movie. Entourage.

Yeah, of course. It's no one's turn. We just fucked it all up. We're just yelling at people. We're just everything, isn't it, Jeff? We're all just doing Jeremy Piven movies. Screaming at me

saves the day. What? Jeff just yelled at me so hard. You're usually going to be right if you just say a John Cusack movie because for a while, Piven just had a small part in every Cusack movie.

Was he in that America's Sweetheart movie? I don't know, but probably. Swingers. No one's had Swingers. Either he was or Julia Roberts was. He's not in Swingers. I don't know who Jeremy Piven is. Wait. Ari.

Is he not the guy from Swingers and Chef? No, that's Jon Favreau. But they were both in PCU. I have always gotten them mixed up. Oh, well, I bet you neither one of them would find that a compliment. But whoever makes their hair pieces will be thrilled. Stop it. But whoever makes their hair pieces will be thrilled.

Stop it. Johnny Favs comes on the show sometimes. He listens to it in his car. We're all fucked. I meant that Jeremy Piven has multiple hair pieces. Oh, yeah, Piven, for sure. But you said it about both of them. I'm dumb.

Favreau should know that. You hear that, Favreau? He's stupid. I thought Chef was called... What did you just say? I said... I was talking to John Favreau about Chef, clearly. Oh, okay. He'll hear.

So we still need a name. And now I'm scared to pick somebody else. But that guy over there, is that a guy? Politely raise hand. Gary Oldman? I think we threw that one out one time. No, I played Gary Oldman once. Okay. I mean, this would

suck if we just spend all afternoon saying we played that one already front row right here John Goodman the good man what do you think Amy do you know who he is or do you mix him up with Rosie O'Donnell

that joke turned out meaner than I meant it to be they were played married couple in a movie that I won't say the name of That joke turned out meaner than I meant it to be. They were played married couple in a movie that I won't say the name of because it's still on the table. Okay, Jeff, you go first. The films of John Goodman. Just people on stage, answer these, please, until we're... The Big Lebowski. Yes, of course.

Thank you. It's John. The Gambler. Yeah, that's a fresh one. That just happened. Anybody cheered for that? Amy. Barton Fink.

Wow. I'm going to go ahead and say The Flintstones. Why is that funny? Because I already mentioned the movie. Oh, is that the movie Rosie O'Donnell? Any one of you could have answered it. Yeah. I don't think any one of us could have answered it.

I think only one of us could have answered it. I, okay, Fallen. With Denzel? Yeah. And that scary cat. At the end. It was a good movie, man. That's me singing. You guys probably thought Tyrese was here.

It was just me singing. Raising Arizona. Sean says Raising Arizona. Clap for that one. That was a great movie. Oh, brother, where art thou? Nope, I'm afraid you can't ask your brother for help. I might as well take the other Denzel collabo and say flight.

Jeff. Oh, it's okay. Shit. Oh, Buscemi's here. Or Pesci, I don't know which one. Sea of Love. Right. Right. Yeah.

With Pacino and Alan Barkin. And Ted Danson. All right, is my shirt up? You're reading my lower back tattoo? How'd you think of that right now? I was reading your lower back tattoo. Transformers 4, Age of Extinction. Oh, look at you go.

Four snaps. Four amazing movies. Shit. I'm blanking on other Coen Brothers movies. That's one way to do it, I think. Roseanne, a documentary based on the show Roseanne.

Have you guys seen that? I watched it with you on your couch. It was amazing. Yeah. On Cooch. All right, so... That was too much laughter for that. Undeserved.

It's a global reference. Wait, you're giving me Roseanne? No, you're out. A documentary? Calling herself out. Wait, you're giving that to her? No, you're out. I'm just trying to think of my next one that I'm going to say.

And I'm going to go with... How about... Inside Llewyn Davis. Wasn't there more to the title or no? Nope. Why would there be more to that terrible title? Come on, Jeff. You can do it, Jeff.

You can do it. It's written on the ceiling. Just find it. Find it in the stars. True Grit. What? We got a nope over there. You said it just because it's a Coen Brothers movie?

Because I almost said Hud Circle Proxy for the same reason. Isn't John Goodman the judge at the beginning? Oh, yeah. Bam! She could be totally wrong, but I don't care. Just that a woman stepped up on Father's Day and schooled that dude. All right, Sean. Wait, what?

What happened? I'm the one that got the answer, right? What are you talking about? Who got schooled? Oh, never mind. Because that guy said he wasn't in it, and then she said he was in fact in it. Yeah, no, okay, I get it, I get it. I'm very sorry. I'm very sorry.

We had flight delays. Sean? Is he in nothing but trouble? What with Chevy Chase and Yeah everybody else Name everybody else in the movie Is John Goodman in there? You're thinking of John Candy

I don't think so I don't think so Well that's my Then I'm out then I thought he was in there Fuck And Amy's out And I

Don't want to just sit here Thinking for a while And So I'm gonna Go ahead and concede to Jeff on this one. Okay. Jeff's our winner. Three games in a row. But, of course, now is the part where the audience gets to say the many films we did not mention.

Oh, The Babe. The Babe. Oh, the babe. The babe. Oh, yeah. The babe. Right. Was that him? Babe. Yeah.

Babe. Apparently. Monsters. Monsters. Zeke and Monsters University. Oh, man. Sully. Did someone say the Lone Ranger?

The Barrowers. The Bar Shud! The Borrowers! The Borrowers? Cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. Mouse King Ralph, of course. King Ralph! King Ralph of Dog Day Afternoon. Fargo?

Was he in Fargo? Fargo? Oh, Into the Electric Mist. What the hell is that? That's a Tommy Lee Jones movie. It's fucking great. Arachnophobia. Arachnophobia, yes.

Arachnophobia, yes. Good one. Gotta get a new one. If you like starting at the beginning of the alphabet, that's a good one. What was this over here? Speed Racer. Speed Racer, yes. Coyote Ugly.

He's the dad. Father's Day. Argo. What? Argo. I thought you were saying Fargo. You fucking idiot. There's no F in

Argo. Argo, fuck yourself. But a good one. Thank you. I think we got them all, you guys. What a great crowd. From the bottom of his heart.

There's got to be a couple animated things he was in that we didn't mention. Toy Story. The Artist. The Artist? Revenge of the Nerds! Oh, that was a good one. How can we forget about the Nerds? Or their revenge.

He's so angry at nerds in that movie. What? Red State. We said Monster State. We've got to stop now. This is going to keep going forever. We said both of those. All right.

No more audience yelling. That's like the dad that takes you to get ice cream And then when you get a little too excited Shut the fuck up about the ice cream I didn't know what I was doing when I took you out to get ice cream Shut the fuck up about the ice cream I don't know why I took you all out for Weed and alcohol this afternoon

But it's leading to some problems Organic blackberry and vinegar ice cream at Salt and Straw is where we took him in there. Did you try to do a local reference again? I did, and they booed me for it. I think they're sick of it. But that was just a plug. That was just, yeah. Let's talk off mic for a second.

Salt and Straw gave me a lot of money to plug them on the podcast. Who did what? No, they didn't. They don't need any more business. No, I hate it. There's a line around the block all the time. Fuck that place. Don't ever go there.

How's that? We'll go completely the other way. Yeah, fuck Salt and Straw. That's more like it. So whenever Sean does the show, he just brings a list of local grievances. I don't think Old English Malt Liquor is a local company, but... I don't want to plug them on the show.

That Chipotle down on... They're a little skimpy with their guac. That's not how I talk, but we're getting there, Jeff. We're getting there. They're a little gnarly with their guac. But the chips are buck. The chips are buck as shit. That means that all that's good, though.

Or bad. We have no idea. Backstage, you were saying gnarly about all kinds of things, so there was no context. No, buck. He says everything's buck. Who doesn't know what buck means? If I text you and you're Jeff Tate

and I was like, hey, man, let's get buck tonight, he goes, I have no idea what that means, but sure, it means let's throw down and have some fun. Sometimes buck is bad though. Like when you were talking about our friend's girlfriend and you were like, she's buck. I won't say who it was. Let's get bucked.

Sounds like I have to help him. How's that going to be a bad thing? It sounds like I have to help you save your fucking stupid friend. Why is he stupid? Because he needs saving. And his name is Buck. He didn't name himself Buck. I always thought Buck

means naked. So let's get Buck. I didn't even return that text. At least now I know. At least now I know. At least now I know. You guys aren't buck buddies? Gonna go buck fuck each other? Too graphic.

Too much. Why would... Let's play the Leonard Malton game. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game Amy do you know how this works? Yes I do Cool cool cool I like not having to explain it

But I'll be happy to refresh your memory If you have anything that confuses you. And I'm talking to Sean right now. Sean and Jeff are old pros at this. We're going to start with Jeff. Yeah, I'm going to sit up. Yeah, sit up. Take this seriously.

We were having a conversation backstage about texting. Yeah, you guys do shows somewhere here in town where there's texting during the movie and the texts appear up on the screen. Hecklevision. Hecklevision. And they have like prose texting stuff and then audience members can text as well. And it all just goes by up on the screen. But what did you say about how there are certain words that they censor? They censor a bunch of inappropriate words just automatically so that people aren't monsters.

But they did Congo last week. And then I was typing killer ape. Killer ape. Which is what the whole movie is about. But it picked up rape. And then my joke just didn't. It just bombed. whole movie's about. But it picked up rape. And then my joke just didn't... It just bombed.

Because it just ended in K-I-L-L-E. Nobody knows what that's about. Kind of like just now. I think it just bombed again. Yeah. Just like that. I didn't mean to set you up to bomb but I just thought it was a funny coincidence Because the first category Is the Go Bananas category

And it's movies with apes In the title And I'll give you an example The Grand Budapest Hotel What? Has apes in the title Killer Apes Has the word apes in the title. Killer Apes has the word apes in it, obviously. Oh, Budapest.

What a terrible example. Or, Jeff, you could pick Fast Batch Cumberbender, which is movies with either Michael Fastbender or Benedict Cumberbatch. Which is movies with either Michael Fassbender or Benedict Cumberbatch. I think Sean and I saw a Fassbender film together one time. Yeah, that dick was flying around, dude. Yeah. We saw it.

The movie is called The Flying Dick of Shame. Michael Fassbender happened to be there. That's why it was a Fassbender movie. No, it was my choice to go see that, too. Yeah. That's all right. They had food there. Did you guys get buck?

No, but Fassbender did. Multiple kinds of Buck. I bet Sean got a little Buck. I've been known to. Gnarly. And your third option, Martin Scorsese. And that's Martin Scorsese movies without an R rating. So these are the PG or 13 less efforts of Mr. Martin Scorsese.

My roommate can't pronounce his R's and she just goes, good things Tony's not here because he says Moten Scorsese. That's how he says it. That's a good thing we just said it anyway. In case he happens to listen to this. Sean's references are so local, they're from across the hall now. It's good to be here tonight at Helium. Do you guys know Tony?

If you do, it was a blast. I'm going to pick the Martin Scorsese. Oh, good. That one, the Scorsese one. Yeah, finally somebody picked it. Three and a half stars from Leonard for this Martin Scorsese movie that did not get an R rating from the year 1974. Leonard calls it excellent.

He also says that it was later reworked into a TV show. And he also says you should look for Laura Dern eating ice cream in the background in one scene.

She's eating an ice cream cone the background in one scene. She's eating an ice cream cone at a counter. And Leonard lists nine names. How many names can you get it in, Jeff? I'm going to say nine names. It says nine, Sean.

Eight. Sean says eight, Amy. I'm going to say seven names it's a good bid four Jeff jumped to four? yeah he jumped to four Sean

yeah name it yeah he's got to ask him to name it right okay here's your four names well that lower dern ice cream thing is a real freebie always got your eye out for that. Here's your four names.

I'm compiling a website like Mr. Skin, but it's just of cameos of people eating ice cream. Mr. Skim is what I call it. Your four names are valerie curtain vick tabak harvey kytel and jody foster is it 1974 streets i don't know do you think martin scorsese made a movie called Mean Streets That got less than an R rating? Yeah He did not

He made a very R rated movie Is it Panic Room? You don't get two guesses And Panic Room's not even a Scorsese film And why would Jodie Foster get such shitty billing In this movie she stars in? Because the rest of the names are Diane Ladd, Laura Dern's mother, so this actually was a great clue, Alfred Lutter, Billy Greenbush, Chris Christopherson, and Ellen Burstyn,

and it became a long-running TV series called Alice, because the movie's called Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore. And Sean Jordan's on the board with a point! live here anymore. And Sean Jordan's on the board with a point. And the panelists are shaking their head like it's no responsibility to have heard of anything

before they were born. Have any of you, you've heard of that movie, right? Yeah. And the TV show and the face-off. I was going to guess King of Comedy, though.

That's a great guess. That was also not rated R. And you'd think it would be because you'd think the people would swear, but Rupert Pupkin doesn't swear. I wonder what Tony would have guessed. He probably would have said Mainsteets. Why would he guess the same thing that you said that was wrong? Tony sounds pretty cool.

He's going to love this. I think he would have said Taxi Dive. Taxi Dive? Took me a while to come up with one, but that's really good. I found one with two R's, but still makes sense when you take them out. Aging Bull. Listen. He tries to save him.

Oh, shit. He doesn't just skip over it. I'm crying. My face isn't normally this red. Holy shit. The Kolo of money. I don't think Scosese did that. I just want to play that game for the rest of the night.

The movie where Jonah Ray is an ambulance driver binging out the dead. Because he was a spokesman for Bing for a while. That was a pretty solid joke. He's not wrong. I'm not wrong. It was good. Amy gets to start the next round,

and it'll go to Sean. And Amy gets to pick between One Fine Day, which is the films of Rafe or Joseph Fiennes, Portlandia. And that's movies that have Fred Armisen or Carrie Brownstein in them. God, you guys are so mad about that. I can't do the ape one anymore?

And I told you on Monday, I'm going to be out tomorrow, I'm going to be on AM Northwest, and they're going to let me hold a baby cheetah. So I came up with a category, cheetahs never prosper. And it's movies where a jungle cat gets killed. That's such a bummer.

It's not necessarily a cheetah. Not necessarily by the hand of man. I've said too much. Which one of those do you like? Fred Armisen? Because Cary Brown

sees not any fucking movies. And Ray for Joseph Fiennes or Jungle Cat gets killed. All right, since I'm going to the zoo tonight, I'm going to pick

the cheetah one. Oh, that's fun. What great timing. I just want people to know what I'm up to. Since I'm cheating on my boyfriend, I'm going to take cheetah's never prosper. That's my impression of her. I don't have a boyfriend.

Since my boyfriend pans for gold, I'm going to go with Cheetah's Never Prospector. 1967 is the year. Three stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie that was

directed by someone whose first name is Wolfgang. According to Leonard, it's a genial movie. And he says also that it was remade in 1998 as a live-action direct-to-video movie. And he lists eight names. How many names can you get it in amy miller i'm gonna say eight strong opening bit i'm so dabbed out i did a whole show that slow once here very proud of it uh sean you next. I was sitting right here. Well, zero.

It's going one of two ways, so we'll say zero. He says zero names, Jeff. I know. I'm going to say name it, and if he gets it right, the game is over, I think. That's a good point. That's a good point. So name it? That is like you're announcing what could be an amazing strategy

and go with just saying name it? We have it. If he doesn't know it, he'll have to take a sacrifice point. All right. I mean, do you want to win, Jeff, or do you want to have him name it? You want to go big or you want to go home? I kind of want to do both. I have no idea if I know what movie it is.

We're just going to have to play another game if this ends right now. We're going to have to play, like, take the R's out of something else. I can take the R's out of plenty of shit. I hear him say movies all the time. Okay, I'm going to say it's from 1967. I'm going to take the R's out of a Spielberg movie, and I'm going to take the R's out of a Spielberg movie And I'm going to go with Wah-hoes

War Horse I was worried you weren't going to catch up to what that one was E.T. Oh wait And the extraterrestrial Aids Extraterrestrial Aids of the Lost The extraterrestrial. AIDS. The extraterrestrial. AIDS of the Lost...

One of them's perfect. AIDS of the Lost... One's perfect and one's... The Last Crusade. Indiana Jones and Stow-Woo's. Just was saying a movie that he could say And one that he couldn't Should I guess or no? No

Alright Do the right thing, Jeff Alright, I'm gonna say negative one Amy? I don't change my bid on this Just say name it, Jeff Amy? I don't change my bid on this. Just say name it, Jeff. Name it, Jeff.

Yeah. What is it, Jeff? What's the name of the movie and the top billed person? Can I ask one question? Uh-huh. Oh, you can ask questions? Nope. Is a bear a jungle cat? I'm also just guessing that he dies.

I don't even know if he dies. But I'm pretty sure. Okay, I'm going to guess James Earl Jones, the Lion King. I might have the year wrong. I might have the year wrong. It's a little off. That was in 1967. But you were in the right ballpark

because you figured out it was an animated thingy. And a bear seems to have died but then it comes to like you're sad that he's dead and then he comes back to life in this movie so that's what I thought you were going for but the tiger in the film is dispatched quite handily

and it's called the Jungle Book. Jungle Book! Why don't you let me guess what it was? Because I was ramping up for so long that you could have shouted it out at any time. You really had to do it. I didn't know you had a guess. I said zero names. What was your guess?

That was my guess. Jungle Book. Of course I'm going to say that's my guess now, even if it wasn't, but that was my guess. What was your guess, though? Tarzan. I like your honesty. Tarzan. Tarzan? I like your honesty. Yeah.

Tarzan. I can't lie to those eyes. Yeah, it was Tarzan. I would have fucked it up. Can't lie to those eyes. Jungle Cat dies. Tarzan was a movie? I don't know, man.

Yeah, it was. Disney. Disney cartoon. They remade it, right? Didn't they remake it? Yeah, and tons of movies had the word Tarzan at the beginning,

but they all had more words after it. Tarzan, Man of the Jungle? All right Didn't they remake it Yeah and tons of movies Had the word Tarzan At the beginning But they all had More words after it Tarzan Man of the jungle Alright I'll look it up King of the jungle Greystoke Yeah there's a Greystoke

There's a bunch of Tarzan movies It's a really popular Tarzan of the apes Tarzan the ape man Tarzan the fearless Tarzan and his mate Tarzan escapes

Which is right after He moved in with his mate. He's got to get the fuck out of there. Tarzan goes to court. Tarzan and the green goddess. So we know he hooked up with when he ran out on his mate. Tarzan buys a Miata. Tarzan's revenge. He obviously gets some sort of sexually transmitted disease.

Glad he gives that to her as's revenge. He obviously gets some sort of sexually transmitted disease. Tarzan finds a son! Exclamation point. That was the sequel to Tarzan Goes on Maury. Tarzan Adana? Yeah. Tarzan's secret treasure. Tarzan eats a bullet for dinner. Can I do the real ones first?

Tarzan. Tarzan's secret treasure. Tarzan eats a bullet for dinner. Can I do the real ones first? Tarzan's New York adventure. Tarzan triumphs. Tarzan's desert mystery. Yeah, the mystery is what the fuck am I doing in the desert? I'm Tarzan. There's no fucking trees out here. Tarzan and the Amazons. That movie is just like...

I shopped around online with that one. Tarzan and the Amazons. That movie is just like... I shopped around online with that one. Tarzan and the Leopard Woman. Tarzan and the Huntress. Tarzan and the Mermaids. He gets around. Tarzan's Magic Fountain. That's where he washed off his dirty pickle from getting around all the time. Tarzan's Peril.

Tarzan's savage fury. Tarzan and the she-devil. Roseanne was in that one. Tarzan's hidden jungle. Oh, that sounds scary. Tarzan and the lost safari. Tarzan and the trappers.

Tarzan's fight for life. Tarzan the ape man. We decided to Fight for Life Tarzan the Ape Man We decided to go back to square one on that one Tarzan's Greatest Adventure Tarzan the Magnificent And can I tell you guys something? We're only up to 1962 Tarzan goes to India

Tarzan's Three Challenges Remember when he tries to get across the bridge And the troll gives him three challenges? I thought that's when he was on Jungle Ninja Warrior. Tarzan in the Valley of Gold. Tarzan in the Great River. This is so stupid. Oh, Tarzan in Manhattan.

I've seen that one. Jennifer Lopez. That one was remade as Crocodile Dundee. That's not a voin. This is a voin. But the most recent Tarzan... The most recent Tarzan was just called Tarzan

and it was a Disney cartoon and it was co-directed by Chris Buck. Full circle. Full circle. That's a fucking big... The coincidence is never ended. So who got the point there?

I think Amy. Amy's on the board, everybody, with one point. She challenged Jeff. So Sean is going to start us off this time, and then we'll go to Amy And Sean gets to pick Between Ex Machina

And that's a movie where a robot dies Or people stand around and imply that a robot died I know, technically robots probably can't die Shut him off Perfect for Father's Day The Walking Dad technically robots probably can't die. Shut them off. Perfect for Father's Day, The Walking Dad. The Walking Dad. And that's movies where Christopher Walken is a dad.

And Jurassic World. And that's a movie in which a senior citizen performed and went on to win a Golden Globe for that performance. Jurassic World. That's hilarious. Which one of those do you like, Sean? I suppose the funniest one, right? Jurassic World? I don't know. They're all pretty good. I didn't mean to upset you

if you made them all up. I'm so upset. Would you like a movie that has a senior citizen who won a Golden Globe for their performance from 1989 or 2001? 2001, we're gonna go. You got it, friend. Two and a half stars from

Leonard for this movie about a ne'er-do-well. You don't get to see that written out. N-E-apostrophe-E-R-dash-do-well. Ne'er-do-well. A lot of tomfoolery in there. He also says this movie is rambling. Gross.

And he also calls it eccentric. And he lists ten names. How many names can you get it in, Sean? 2001, two and a half stars. Say six names. Amy. I'm going to go five names. Fuck you.

It's short for never do well. It's like if Tony couldn't say V's. Hey, there isn't an R in Tony's last name, is there? No. Oh, good for him. I'm going to say name it. All right.

So Amy has to name it? Yes. Okay. With how many names? Six? Five? Okay. Here we go.

Five names. Good luck. Alec Baldwin Seymour Cassell Danny Glover Bill Murray and Luke Wilson from 2001 are you mad because you know this Sean? I think I do

do we have an idea of how old? like because you can get the AARP at like 55 are we talking like 80? 80 plus stop stalling is that really gonna help your answer yeah yeah uh I I'd say I'd guess 65 or older can you say the names again please Doug yes I'm gonna give you the clues again too because I love saying ne'er do well two and a half stars 2001 it's about a ne'er do well

the movie is Eccentric and Rambling according to Leonard and your five names are Alec Baldwin Seymour Cassell, Danny Glover Bill Murray and Luke Wilson shit man Eccentric and Rambling makes me think it's like a David Mamet production.

Who asked her to name it? I did. Okay, we're going to have a tiebreaker situation if you don't name it. God damn it. Okay. Just take a guess. Oh, man. You suck.

I suck? Don't do that, sir. The buck stops here, man. You suck. I suck? Don't do that to her. The buck stops here, Sean. Oh, man. I don't even have a guess. Name a movie that's got, like, say, Bill Murray in it or Alec Baldwin in it or Danny Glover or, like, one that's got all three, say, Bill Murray in it or Alec Baldwin in it or Danny Glover. Or, like, one that's got all three of them in it would be good.

Lost in translation. Oh, that's a good guess. I know it's not right, but you said to say something. Owen Wilson was also in it. Ben Stiller. Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, God. Royal Tenenbaums.

Gene Ackman. What an idiot. Won the Golden Globe. Damn it. And went on to make Welcome to Mooseport and then got out of the game. And that means we have a three-way tie. We have to play a tiebreaker. You're amazing, by the way. Royal Tenenbaums.

And our tiebreaker this evening. Such a bad white person right now. I'm, like, like gonna get kicked out of Portland for that. Do you know that? Like, you didn't know a Wes Anderson movie? Get the fuck out of our town. It's not like you didn't know a Gus Van Zant movie.

What? Cause of course my own private Idaho takes place here. I'll never get a tiny pastry in this town again. All right, this is a game called Asparagus Pee. And it's called that after the man who thought of it. And the idea is I'm going to read an entire review to you guys.

Who challenged who on that last one? Jeff challenged? I challenged. Yeah, so we'll start with Sean and go to Jeff. And I'm going to read the whole review, Sean, and then you just start the bidding. And you're probably going to want to go into at least zero, but probably negative names. In fact, those are your only options. And then you just have to see who can go deepest in negative names in this movie. Here we go.

Four stars from Leonard from this film. I don't... It's a lot of old stuff tonight. I apologize. From 1942. I don't even know if my dad was born yet. I don't think he was. Everything is right in this

WWII classic of war-torn Morocco with elusive nightclub owner Rick finding old Flame and her husband underground leader among skeletons in his closet. One man is marvelous as dapper police chief,

and nobody sings as time goes by like another dude. Three Oscars for picture, director, and screenplay. Our candidate, ooh, Leonard used the word hour for the best Hollywood movie of all time spawned a short-lived TV series in the 50s and the 80s also shown in a

computer colored version boo he didn't say boo I threw that in there and Leonard lists 7 10 13 names He didn't say boo. I threw that in there. And Leonard lists seven, ten, thirteen names. What do you say, Sean, Jordan? Negative one. He says negative one, Jeff.

Wake up. Oh, shit. Negative two. Amy, can you go negative three? Name it, Jeff. Jeff has to name it. That's a surprising turn of events. I didn't think you'd go that deep.

Most people don't. Tell us the name of the film. Some people do. And the top... Name of the film and the top two billed people in the film. Leaving out all the R's. Casablanca. So far, you're doing great with the R's.

Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. I told you to not pronounce the R's, but that is correct. Jeff is our winner. So I apologize to the, what was the name again? Allie and the Chocolate Factory. Because the prizes is kind of a pile. We don't have one thing that can hold all of it. She already has a name tag that she has to hold

by a string. Oh, no, wait. No, I'm sorry. You're looking for the shithead on that, Sean? Okay, good job. I got confused about who won. So where's Allie at? Where was she? She's coming. Could you help her, Jeff?

Yeah. Gather it up. Actually, Casablanca is my favorite movie. Casablanca is your favorite movie? Yes. Well, that was really Kismet, wasn't it? That's my favorite movie, Kismet. There you go.

See it? You want it? No, I'll memorize it. All right. Yeah, yeah, that broken binder. Of course she gets that. And all that stuff. Thank you, I'll memorize it. All right. Yeah, yeah, that broken binder. Of course she gets that. And all that stuff. Thank you, Allie.

Congratulations. Good job. Woo! Do we get to keep the candy? Do we get the gobstoppers and the sweet tarts? Okay, good. Go ahead and tear into those, guys. And let's start

with Amy. Do you got some gigs and stuff coming up that you can plug? Oh, yeah, sure. I'll be here Fourth of July weekend with Ian Bagg. Here at the Helium with Ian Bagg. We just saw him in Minneapolis. Great guy. Very funny dude. Come out to those shows, everybody. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And what's your Twitter handle? The Amy Miller? Just Amy Miller. That's easy. I know. I scored. Good job.

Long story. Let's hear it. Stole it from a porn star. There's an Amy Miller porn star you got on Twitter before she did? No, she got it on before I did But she didn't use it She got it on before you did? Yeah, she did

Some people at Twitter gave me the name They took it from her and gave it to me Wow I know You can do that? Yeah, if you know the right people Sorry, Jeff You haven't underscored

That poor girl Whoever she is, if she's in porn She already had her father Taken away at a young age And now And now her Twitter name Amy's dad died a while back too Oh

Yeah Thanks Sean Whoa Dude What do you got to plug? You doing any eulogies? You doing any eulogies With local flavor?

I'm sorry Flavo Were you not gonna say that? Were youies with local flavor? I'm sorry, Flavo. Were you not gonna say that? Were you not gonna say that? Oh, no, it's not a secret that my dad's dead. Yeah. I wouldn't have an accident. Sounds like you talk about it a lot. Hi, I'm Amy.

My dad is dead. Enjoy Father's Day. Hi, Amy. That's how it goes, right? Hi, my name's Amy. Dead Dad's Anonymous. Please check out my podcast, Sorry About Your Dad. That's real.

Really? Yeah. I'm glad that conversation reminded you to plug your podcast. Sean, what's up? Sean S. Jordan on Twitter and I'll be here the 9th through the 11th

With Brett Morin At Helium in Portland And I think in Eugene on Friday With James Adomi On this coming Friday Does this come out by Friday? Yeah I'll be up there then

Yeah I think so I think I'm doing that You gonna do that Salt and Straw material? My dad's also dead And I haven't been On your podcast yet What day is this?

Sunday June 21st Father's Day Oh fuck yeah Father's Day What day is this? Sunday June 21st Father's Day Oh fuck yeah Father's Day Okay Oh alright I get it

Like she made a lot of references to it I Alright Okay I was Okay Do your plugs Alright I got a big fall tour

starting in September I'm going to Chicago and Detroit and Philadelphia and fucking Bloomington Indiana Columbus Cleveland a lot of places so you can find out turns out it was Spaceballs or Bloomington she's got two words that set her off and now I know both

and Jeff she'll probably come to a lot of my shows She's got two words that set her off. And now I know both. And Jeff. She'll probably come to a lot of my shows. Shook. Shook, yeah. And I'm going to come a lot at your shows. I'm going to come back to Portland sometime and do Sean's show. What's that called? Funny Over Everything.

Yeah, Funny Over Everything. They're finally a local reference for me. And then I'll be at Go Bananas in Cincinnati, July 9 through 12. The Joke Joint in St. Paul, Minnesota, August 13 through the 15th. And my podcast is about cheers called Afternoon, everybody. I'll have albums for sale outside after the show. Goodbye. Thank you to all three of my guests.

Jeff Tate, Sean Jordan, and Amy Miller. Oh, there it is. And thank you to Helium Comedy Club. It's a gas! And to everybody who came out today, you guys are an awesome audience, and I didn't have to yell at anybody. You got to yell at me

a couple of times. I think it was a good day. Alright. Douglas Movies is coming to Boston on September 12th at the Wilbur Theatre. And as always, uh, Juggalos are a shithead.

And the entire state of Wisconsin is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.