Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Dana Gould, Emma Arnold, "Mark Wahlberg" and Tom Thakkar guest

Episode Date: September 10, 2017

Live from the 208 Comedy Fest in Boise, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Dana Gould, Emma Arnold, "Mark Wahlberg" and Tom Thakkar to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. That's not the part where you respond. My name is Doug, and I love movies. I love movies. I love movies. Close enough.

I was laughing when I walked out here because I actually did a sound check today. I looked at everything and I was like, this is perfect. And I don't have anything to put by... I don't have a table next to me which I normally ask for, and today I was like, I don't need to think about that. That doesn't need to be part of it. So I don't know if there's like a stool back there, or if anybody can help me out with just, I just need something right there that I can...

I'll be your stool. Yes, ma'am, if you would just come up here and just sit on all fours, and I will put the prize bag on your back. It'll be awesome. We're coming to you once again from Boise, Idaho! I guess this is probably not a good time to say this crowd is on fire. Because, oh, look at that. That's way more than I asked for. Let's see how that goes.

I like it. Yes, some people, unfortunately, I'm happy that all you guys are here today. Some people, some guy tweeted at me that he's missing the show today because he works at a school or something and a game got moved because of the fires. And so he got screwed out of getting to come today. And I'd shout him out by name if I had any idea what it was. This is part of the inaugural 208 Comedy Fest. Are you guys having a good time?

Enjoying the festival? It's a festival for the rest of Al. Where's Al at? Is somebody named Al here? It's Saturday, September 9th, right? 2017. And we're at the Egyptian Theater in downtown Boise. And I wonder what the name tag deal is at this point. I figured there would be some good ones. And then maybe a lot of people that want tickets from a radio station going, what is happening? What did I come here for?

What is going on? Lots of great movie related name tags. What does that say? Jason in law. Instead of son in law. I am now the lady standing next to what used to be Pauly Shore and now is you? Okay.

Let's make that movie, Jason. I like that. I like the really big ones because it's not too bright in here. And I'm not too bright up here. Aunt Joraj? It's Jo. Jo? Your name's Jo? She's peeking around from behind your giant Empire Sucks

cock poster. Could you just move for a second? Your nickname's Joe, and it's in there in the middle of Aunt Jo Raj. I get it. Now what's your Empire Strikes Back thing, dude? Empire Stevens Back. I'd like to ask you to leave. Alright, well anybody can win. Even the

worst pun I've ever heard in my entire life has a chance. Donna! What did that used to say? Ted? Fuck it, I'll just make a whole new title. Doesn't have to be a pun of anything. Fuck Ted, I'm Donna. You can put him down now.

He can sit there like that the whole show. Doug plugs, last Thursday we taped an episode of this show with Dan Soder, Greg Fitzsimmons, and Joe DeRosa, which is available exclusively at Stitcher Premium, along with all nine seasons of Doug Loves Movies. You can start a free month trial and listen to all of it, and then, you know, never sign up for real.

That's what I recommend. I bet your stitcher wouldn't be happy to hear that. No, do the free trial, and I'm sure you're going to be hooked. Doug Loves Movies is back at Meltdown Comics in L.A. this Monday night. Next weekend, I'll be at Portland, Oregon at Helium Comedy Club for a gassy stand-up show at Happy Hour on Friday, September 15th. And then Doug Loves Movies on Saturday, September 16th at 420.

Austin, Texas, September 20th. Atlanta, Georgia, September 15th. What order are these in? I mentioned that's October. Yes, Atlanta is October 15th. What order are these in? I mentioned that's October. Yes, Atlanta is October 15th. Plus lots more shows at DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com! Yeah!

And, like, there's always people tagging little extra noises on at the end. And we had a dude barking today. Have you guys seen It? Yes and no? Well, I want to try not to spoil it for you. But I will say that a cat witnesses something terrible happen. And that's why I like dogs better than cats. Because the cat doesn't do shit.

The cat doesn't say a word about it, doesn't do anything about it. But a dog would like try to, you know, help out. That's my theory. The prize bag today, someone's going to win all of this amazing stuff. I've got, somebody somewhere gave me some socks that have weed leaves on them. Not something I would wear, but they seem nice. Something I would wear, some white sunglasses that you've seen me wear from MyFreeCams, and a blue card from Getting Dug With High,

and a book that somebody sent me called True Living Organics. This is the second edition. The Ultimate Guide to Growing All Natural Marijuana Indoors. Yeah, you guys, Idaho's going to legalize someday, right? No. Well, can't Boise just, you guys, Idaho's going to legalize someday, right? No.

Well, can't Boise just, you know, what do they call it? Can't they just leave? Can't they secede? Can't Boise secede at something? A Doug Loves Movies T-shirt. And a Peacemaker pipe, I think, maybe. Oh, a fortune cookie from P.F. Chang's. Had a lovely lunch there today.

There's that Peacemaker pipe. And a copy of one of my CDs, promotional tool. All of that, plus the stuff brought by my you can see the chairs, five guests. Yes. Please give a big warm welcome to

Emma Arnold, Jeff Tate, Tom Takar, Dana Gould, and Mark Wahlberg. All right, let's meet everybody individually, starting with the bearded man to my left. I don't know what the beard's about, but it's Mark Wahlberg, everybody. I don't know what the beard's about, but it's Mark Wahlberg, everybody.

How you guys doing? You doing good? What's up, Boise? Doug, I grew a beard, dude. Yeah, I see that. Fucking A, bro. What, any particular reason? Yeah. I'm not shaving until the Patriots win their first fucking game.

This is a two-day growth right here, motherfuckers. This is what a man looks like. Take it in. Take your pants off and enjoy it. Don't take your pants off, you guys. What are you doing in Boise? Wait a second. Hang on just a second. Is there a person here today

that sounds like a child? Is there a baby here? And how old is that child? He'll be one soon. It's about fucking time you took him to a show. I'm going to tell you right now, if you want me to,

I will bless that baby. I had to get out of town, dude. Fucking Patriots lost, and I'm like, you know what? Where is the exact opposite of Boston? And I found it, and it's fucking gorgeous. And I'm not going back until they win. Oh, you're gonna move here? I just needed something different in my life, dude.

It was... Kansas City Chiefs. What the fuck, man? So now I'm here to make people's life better and probably adopt a kid. I will Joe Lee that kid. What's your son's name, if you don't mind telling us? Say Mark.

Shut up. What? Lyme? Hell yeah. Lyme? Like the first one? Shut up. What? Lime? Hell yeah. Lime like the fruit? Hell yeah. Lion?

What's up, lion? From one king to another, how you doing, boy? Oh, shit. I just asked in case there's any point where I need to ask him to be quiet. Simmer down, lion. Also joining us today on our panel is Emma Arnold. Hello. Boise comedy phenom.

Yep. This festival was your idea, right? Yeah, I am the co-director. Co-director of the festival. Thank you. Thank you. The other director's a man, so there's no reason to even talk about him. This is about women and their achievements.

Yep. So I come on the show is just to talk about women and their achievements. I don't care about movies. I'm just here to talk about... I thought that would be funnier, but... Then I was like, oh, there's a little truth in that.

Yeah, but speaking of women achievements, Wonder Woman, biggest movie of the year, directed by a woman, starring a woman, viewed by women. Like, you know, you're going to have a hit if you let women go. That's a smart play. Yeah.

Yeah, half of the people are women. I watched it opening day with a big group of women, and I feel like there was this collective, like, breath in the theater as we all were like, we could just leave and start Scissor Island. We could just all fucking... go. You could feel that energy in there.

Yeah, I mean, you'd have to cut some corners when you're trying to put together Scissor Island, but I think you could do it. I feel confident well thank you for co-directing this festival and for being here today as always and say hello to your children for me I will I had talked to them and told them that we were doing this and I was like they were like are we gonna be on the show and I was like no we have some other people. And they're like, good luck with that. Have fun.

They think they're the greatest guests that have ever been on the show. They do. Get in line. Speaking of great guests, in the past, you knew him as Tom Brady. Sorry, Mark. That's right, Mark. Yeah.

But now he goes by Tom Takar, everybody! How's it going? Hello! Thanks for having me, guys. I love Boise. This place is sick. It is! I'm pandering. I thought that Idaho sucked. I didn't know you guys had that one-hit wonder.

This is sick. You do. Idaho is chumbawumba. And Boise is tub thumping, alright? I'm not fucking with the deep cuts of Idaho. This is a bad time to shit on Texas, but, you know, Boise is the

Austin of Idaho. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. How are you doing? You enjoying the comedy festival? I'm having a great time, man. It's so fun here. What a festival.

Emma did such a great job, right? This is so fun. I wasn't sure what Boise was like. I've never been here, and it's so fun. I actually Googled, like, is Boise cool? And it is. I found there's, like, a site that rates the cities in Idaho, and somebody gave Boise three stars out of five

because they said that they couldn't make any friends here. So step it up, Boise. Be nice to that guy, you know? Yeah, for me, that's a positive. You know, like, you're going to go somewhere and no one's going to bother you. You know, you can just chill here and no one's coming up to you saying,

that's all I got. Five stars. I got distracted by what I'm about to do. Hey, Siri. Why is Boise so cool? Hmm. Let me think. The temperature in Boise, Idaho, is 11.

The temperature is 11? Oh, my God. She has gone off the rails, you guys. I must have caught Siri during happy hour. The temperature is 11? Oh, my God. She has gone off the rails, you guys. I must have caught Siri during happy hour. The temperature's 11? Sounds like my girlfriend. No, no. We're also the lentil capital of the world, Idaho.

So 11 degrees and lentils. Thank you. She's brought that up on the show before. I have not. I just learned it. I just learned it. Or you told me in private. I did do that.

Hey, Doug, we're the lentil capital of the world. Okay. Also joining us today, it's Mr. Dana Gould. Hi, Doug. Hi, Doug. Crazy coincidence with Lion being here today. I have a dog named Scott Davis. As they said in the Bryan Cranston Godzilla,

nature finds a balance. Congratulations. Is he your first child? He seems to have left. Oh, he's someplace else now. Is he your first child? No? I'm going to walk into this.

Those children were a little too mature to bring today. One of the other kids, yeah. What are the other kids' names? Chloe, Malachi, and Chloe. Oh, okay. What podcast are they at today? Are you Hawaiian? Wow, Chloe really caught a break. Yeah, what happened?

Someone should start a study right away of those four. My kids are Dumbledore, Mephistopheles, and Craig. Well, then, nothing I can tell you about. My mom took me to see A Hard Day's Night when I was still in the womb. I don't want to know how she sat. You're supposed to drop the mic after a successful joke. Not on opposite day. successful joke.

Not on opposite day. Boise is also the capital of lentils and flipping of joke etiquette. And it's a city of trees. Just like Los Angeles, only in Los Angeles it's not trees.

City of sad mini malls filled with people that are just realizing it's not gonna work out. It does for some of us. And finally, finally, Jeff Tate, y'all. Don't hate Tate, y'all. Don't hate Tate.

Hello, everybody. How are you doing there? You look more and more on vacation every time you come on the show. I'm just taking a different outlook on life. Like, I'm just gonna do this now. I'm gonna dress like I'm on vacation, right? You dress for the job you want,

and I want to be hanging out at a beach. Did you bring only one of your kids? Because that baby's the biggest fan of the podcast of all four of your kids? Boise, five stars, no one made me make friends. I stacked up a bunch of jokes. We can move on now. I saw you down there thinking. Jeff, I am very excited to say, is featured on my new album, Lexington 5-7-17. It's available now in the comedy album section of iTunes. And we have an announcement involving Jeff today.

This is very exciting. I'm going to do a tour of Doug Love's movies in December over all of Hanukkah. I'm not Jewish, but I still appreciate it. I still appreciate it as a thing. I'm gonna hit eight cities in eight days and Jeff is gonna be a guest on every one of the shows. It's gonna be called Tate Crazy Nights. Oh, man, it's gonna be the best.

I'm very excited about it. It's gonna be like, you know how you guys listen to the show and you're like, this guy's barely got enough juice for one episode. Well, somehow, I'm gonna stretch that out over eight crazy nights. Oh, yeah, it's gonna be crazy. The other two guests in each city will, you know, be different unless we find somebody who wants to follow us. Yeah, only Jews.

It's just Jeff and I, it's our chance to take down some Jews. No, there'll be people from all walks of life. Is being Jewish a walk? Is it a type of walk? We should move on. This is not... There's no way this goes well.

Yeah, that's right. Just drop it and move on. No reason to keep saying Jew. No. Seems ridiculous. For the listener at home, I have nothing to do with this Jew conversation. You just said it.

God damn it. You can say Jew if you're referring to an Orthodox Jew. The proper word, nomenclature, is Orthodox Jew. But if they're not Orthodox, they're not as stringent to the faith, and that's why they're Jewish. they're not as stringent to the faith, and that's why they're Jewish. Finally, someone explained that to me.

Now tell me, what's the deal with Black Lives Matter? You guys have a good night. What's that all about? He's playing too many real-life heroes these days to participate in this sort of thing. But I've said this to everyone who's pretended to walk off of my shows. I would have really admired you if you actually did. But the problem is,

half this audience probably would have left with me And I wouldn't do that to you Doug I wouldn't fucking do that to you I can tell you're Lion's favorite Hell yeah You're getting the lion's share of attention from Lion Hey if you guys don't have anything to do after the show I will teach your kid how to fight

Hey, if you guys don't have anything to do after the show, I will teach your kid how to fight. In case he runs into Boss Baby somewhere. All right, let's talk about the crime. It would be great if Lion came up to you after the show and would perfectly, oh my God, I pissed my pants. That was so funny. You guys were so funny, I shit a bunch. Right, because he's a baby. You guys were so funny I shit a bunch Right?

Because he's a baby Doug Lowe's movie Is great for napping Shouldn't at this point His name just be Cub? I swear I swear to you It's kind of hard to There you go

Yeah go ahead Go ahead Do it Come on. It can't be five minutes later. My fingers are sticky. For the listener at home, Doug took care of it. Yeah, I couldn't just let that one go.

I was begging for it, and he didn't give it up. But when you said cub, I swear to you, I swear to you, I thought you said to these nice people, shouldn't his name just be Cum? Well, that was his first name. Nobody, the listeners have no idea who dropped the microphone. It was you, Tom. You have to say something triumphant,

and then drop the microphone. It was you, Doug. You have to say something triumphant and then drop the microphone. We'll be back with more of mic dropping school after these messages from what did you bring for the prize bag, Mark Wahlberg? Oh, shit. I was going to go to the AT&T commercial for you right there. Did you get to keep all those outfits?

Oh, fuck yeah. All of them. All nine different white t-shirts. You change clothes 50 times in a 30-second commercial. Now there's new ones where I wear suits and shit. Neat. I told him. I'm like, you want to throw in another mil? I'll put on a fucking tie, whatever you want to do. I brought possibly the most, like,

this doesn't get enough respect in the canon of number one hit fucking movies that I've given this world. So I'm going to give an autograph copy to whoever wins today. I took it straight from Donnie's room. Max Payne, unrated. You want to guess the Rotten Tomatoes score that those fucking liars gave it? 69%.

Nope. That's only for sexy movies. Yeah, it was bad, right? I wouldn't say it was bad. I'd say it was good. But that's not what those fucking liars that are ruining the Hollywood movie system gave me. What was it?

16%. 16? Double the emoji movie. Fucking A, bro. Hey, Mark. Mark, you know that Rotten Tomatoes hasn't figured out how to, like, for the odometer to roll over,

so maybe it's 116%, and it just went back to zero jeff you're dressing for the job of working for me that joke was so bad oh yeah that's good dude you're hired that joke was so bad i feel like i need to pick up a bunch of microphones oh shit microphone lift dude if you want to lift anything i'm in Oh, shit. Microphone lift. Dude, if you want to lift anything, I'm in. Emma, what do you got for us?

I hope there's some honey. There is. Yay. I brought some honey from my bees. I brought my new album, Shut Up, Calvin. And I brought a bunch of 208 merch and a $15 gift certificate from Solid. And this painting of an alien roasting a marshmallow in the desert that I made. Wow.

Thank you very much. Some good stuff I'm going to keep. What do you got for us, Tom? Oh, man, I'm really excited about this. I got most of my stuff from a little store called The Record Exchange. Check it out. It's sick. They have a whole section devoted to Nicolas Cage movies. Like, the whole store.

It's crazy. All right. So the first thing I have is a mystery DVD grab bag where it's four DVDs. Should I open it now or should I just let the person find out? I think we should find out what's in there. Let's find out. Let's find out. All right. Yeah, yeah. It's all Max.

It's just four Max Haynes. Perfect storm. Perfect storm. Perfect storm. storm Perfect storm Long survivor This is good Alright First off

We have Hot Shots Professional movie Pathfinder I think it says Unrated That's like a user's manual For the Nissan It says unrented

Damn Unwanted Wow The director of Pathfinder Is here Oh this is a fun That's like a user's manual for the Nissan. It says unrented. Damn. Unwanted. Wow. The director of Pathfinder is here. Oh, this is a fun one. His name is Lion and he's one years old. We have Prout here. Yeah, that's a laugh riot.

Oh my God. Pinocchio. What the hell is this? Have you seen this? This is a... Oh, it's Roberto Benigni. Yeah, it's not like the Pinocchio with Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

No, this is... Yeah, right? That's what you guys were thinking, right? The classic that you wanted. This is a famous one. Roberto Benigni, who made the third most famous German prison camp comedy.

The first one was Schindler's List. Schindler's List. The Clown Who Cried. The Day the Clown Cried. A little film called Hogan's Heroes. TV show. And then Life is Beautiful. Heart War. When you watch it now, it doesn't age.

Yeah. So that's the mystery bag. I also brought a little chocolate that's an IPA chocolate. It sounds disgusting, and it mostly melted in my pocket on the walk here. But I hope you enjoy it. And the third thing, I'm really excited about this. It's a little lunch pail. It's got the Princess Bride on it.

Huh? Pretty sick, huh? Right? Yeah, if I were you, I'd open it up and say, I want a peanut. Too specific? Mic lift! All right, yeah, we get it, Mark.

We get it. That bracelet alone, how much does that weigh? 37 pounds. For the listener at home, I'm showing off. Dana Gould, what do you got for us? Well, my new album, Mr. Funny Man, is released on October 6th, and I don't have any yet to give out,

so I didn't bring that. But I did bring a game of Monty Python Flux, the card game that's fun for the whole family. And I also have a game of Classic Universal Monsters Flux. Same thing. Hold your applause till the end. And one of my favorite books I read last year, it's called Under the Big Black Sun, and it is the story of the L.A. punk scene as seen through the eyes of John Doe

from one of my favorite bands, X. And if you like modern music, rock and roll music... Yeah, Lion's into it. It's quite enjoyable. It's quite enjoyable. Where is all this stuff you're talking about? Right under my chair. Oh, okay. And the guy at the store, when I

walked in, recognized me, went out of his way to tell me that he has my albums and isn't coming to my show tonight because there's a game. What do you mean? Yeah, you're like, which game? Oh, don't worry about it. Yeah, it's a game. It's a game. A friend of mine bought a box of wooden Q-tips,

and we're going to go see what the big deal is about them. All right. As long as I know what I'm coming in behind. Me and my buddy got Monty Python Flux, so we're going to go play that. We're going to finally figure out how long it takes a pat of butter to melt on toast. All right, I understand why you're not coming to the show holy i call dibs on that toast

you gonna eat that toast when you're done with this science thing jeff what'd you bring i brought a fortune cookie and a copy of my album called again fortune cookie and a copy of my album called Again. You brought a fortune cookie again? Yep. I brought one too. This person's gonna feast whoever wins all this shit. Jeff's grabbing Dana's

stuff. So all of that is gonna be won by one audience member who made a name tag today. And we will get to that part of the action in a second but first I like to ask all of my guests starting with Mark Wahlberg what was the last movie you saw I went saw the sequel to Logan lucky Logan I saw both and they

aren't related they don't have anything to do with each other. I don't know. No, I know for sure. One ends on a day and then one starts on a different day, so that's possible. It's all different characters, different situations, different vibe. Either way, I really liked it.

Which one? Both, but Lucky Logan, the one I saw most recently. Okay. Did you like it? It was all right. Really? I think Rotten Tomatoes went a little too far on that one. What'd they give it? 16%?

92 or something. Really? No, no, I'm sorry. I meant 15%. Oh, fucking A. That seems right. No, I liked it a lot, but I wanted this. So Soderbergh made that movie, correct? Do you think... I should just fucking call him. But do you think that he

starts at the end and then works his way backwards and decides he's just going to give everybody a weird little thing? Like, oh, and then this guy doesn't have an arm. Oh, what if this guy has a limp? And he just keeps working his way backwards, but he starts at the end? Yeah, and that not arm that, what's his name has? Kylo Ren? Adam Driver? He's got the fattest knot arm I've ever seen.

Like, it's so thick at the end, because he's got his hand shoved in there. Oh, I just thought he worked it out. What? Yeah, like, work out, get one arm big, and then you got to call the company and be like, I need another big arm. This shit's got to match out, bro.

You got to fill out your knits. Emma, what was the last movie you saw? I saw It with a group of comics yesterday. So people that have seen it seem to be into it. I thought it was dumb but entertaining. It was like... Like me!

Yeah. Yeah. thought it was dumb but entertaining it was uh it was like me yeah yeah i thought with jeff which was very entertaining because it scared him to tears and he screamed probably 35 times at one screen full screen at one point i couldn't stop laughing because i was so scared i was just just hysterically laughing for 90 seconds. He was laughing really hard during his scary part, and then he leaned over crying with tears in his eyes. He goes, I'm so scared right now. I am so afraid. For the listener at home,

Lion just looked at Jeff and said, pussy. That's his first word. That's so fucked up. First word. Way to go, Lion. It reminded me of the Goosebumps shows. You guys watch those as kids? Like the Goosebumps stuff?

It was like Goosebumps, but with more dad stuff. It had a lot of feelings happening. What's Lion's middle name? Because I think if you haven't... His asshole. If you haven't thought of one yet. Wait, what? Holy shit.

Oh my god. What did he say? His ass off. That's his middle name. Lion his ass off. Okay. I only brought it up because I had one. Thanks. Thanks. It's pronounced. Usually when I'm doing a line of questioning, I don't need the other

detective to jump in. With his theories. I don't think that's how detectives work. I don't think they're bummed out that the other person is also on their team. We were doing good cop, hold up, I'm also a cop. Like, that's our interrogation style. Like, oh, fuck, this is me too.

Anyway, I think, I don't know why you're yelling, and please don't ever do it again. Tom, what was the last movie you saw? Well, I also saw It, but I've also recently watched Butterfly Effect, to pick a different one. I re-watched Butterfly Effect for

someone else's podcast, and it holds up. It's great. It's a great film. I re-watched Butterfly Effect for someone else's podcast. It holds up. It's great. It's a great film. I saw all the alternate endings of Butterfly Effect. There are three different endings to that film. They just couldn't decide. Well, yeah, because just a small thing like a butterfly could change a string of

events. So, of course, it's hard to pick an ending. I don't know if you guys have seen Butterfly Effect, but it's... Fucking good, dude. I love it, but alright. Doesn't Ashton Kutcher lose an arm in that? He does. There's a scene

where he stops a baby from blowing up by a bomb in a mailbox. Cover his ears. I don't mean to spoil it. All the babies are fine, kid. All the babies survived. That's true. So the baby lives in this alternate reality.

Oh, he's happy. In this alternate reality, the baby lives because Ashton Kutcher stops them, but then he stands next to the mailbox that blows up, even though he knows it's about to blow up for no reason. So then he cuts to the future, and arms and like part of his legs are gone and he immediately just tries to kill himself. Like it's such a bad message to handicap people I think. Like yeah, I guess this is how it's time to go for me.

If I don't have arms, I'm ready to go. How do you try to kill yourself with no arms? He tried to sink into the bathtub. He's just like, all right, I guess this is it. I'm just gonna sink into the bathtub like a sexy woman would relax. I'm going to die. You know what you get with

ice cream and an armless man? An ice cream float. Dana, what was the last movie you saw? I saw the re-release of Close Encounters. Yes! Of the third kind. Of the third kind, with your friend

and mine, Ken Daly. What you realize when you watch Close Encounters again is that was clearly made by a guy who did not at the time have children. Because at the end of the movie, Richard Dreyfuss, who has three kids, says, Alright, fuck off, guys. I'm going on a spaceship.

Best of luck. Mom will get a job. I'm sure you'll be great. I don't know any of these people, but I'm going to go to another planet with them. Yeah, I might be back after you're dead. Yeah. I might come back in about 60 years. You'll be an old man and I'll hit on your daughter. Yeah, it's really... That movie was... When you watch it again, you'll be an old man and I'll hit on your daughter. Yeah, it's really...

That movie was... It's astounding. When you watch it again, like, you forget it. When you watch it now, it's like, this is awful. He's a terrible human being. Well, in his defense, his family's a bunch of assholes. Yeah, they're not so good. They don't support him at all.

Yeah, he really should have been killed in Jaws. Let's be honest. He really should not have survived that. Or the Goodbye Girl would have been a great place to take him out. I don't believe he swam out of the cage and the shark went, ah, forget it. I don't buy that at all. If only for the line,

oh boys, he's come back for his noon feeding. He should have been killed. That was a great Dreyfus impression. Dreyfus the lion. Jeff? Is that the name of the lion in the ads? Yeah, I think so. I mean, it's the name of the dog on Empty Nest.

I wish we could turn this Dreyfuss thing into a game, but just answer the question. The last movie I saw was, I saw It and Close Encounters. I'd never seen Close Encounters before. Let me just try this again. Yeah, yeah. What was the last movie you saw? You didn't see them simultaneously. Or maybe you did.

He was watching it on his phone while we were at IT. It really ruined the film. IT. IT was the last movie I saw. How'd you like IT? It was fucking scary. Was IT? Yes, it was.

This is actually my least favorite part of the movie, is the who's on first game that gets played After where like Oh I saw it this afternoon And then the person's like what And I'm like fuck you This game is called who's it It really takes you out of the movie

When they do that in the film They're like I'm scared of it And they're like what's it For the whole movie It's really fucked up Yeah but you can't imagine a bunch of dumb kids would remember the name Pennywise. I saw it on a double bill with them.

And a triple bill with Story of Us. All right. Yeah, so we're in agreement, Jeff, that you got scared by it. I didn't get scared by it, but I thought it was fun to watch. Yeah. Yeah.

I give it two thumbs up, 100%. There's nothing about it you didn't like? I didn't like how scary it was. Could have been a little less scary. It just felt like it was only scary if you're scared of clowns, which I didn't realize you really are. You're very, very afraid. Sorry.

It's not a good one to... It's scary. You thought it was scary? I thought it was scary. I don't know why anyone who's scared of clowns would put themselves through that movie. I didn't... Go ahead.

No, you go, Emma. When Calvin and I we watched we watched the autopsy of Jane Doe which I was so scared I cried

like it scared me so bad I cried like I get scared easily but that through that it was just I mean

he's just a he's just a goofy looking baby he's just a did it scare Calvin or was he just outside pissing on the car no he didn't he didn't come with us he had other plans Calvin, or was he just outside pissing on the car?

No, he didn't come with us. He had other plans. Oh, I thought you said you saw it with him. No, we were supposed to, but he's recently realized that there are young ladies in the world, and he doesn't want to do a movie podcast with his mom anymore because he says that that's not how you impress girls.

My dude. I'm going to hang out with Calvin after this. he says that that's not how you impress girls. My dude. I'm going to hang out with Calvin after this. I think that's not true. I think girls would be very impressed by a guy who makes a podcast with his mom. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? You're definitely wrong. Let me get this straight.

This Calvin character is into chicks and pisses on cars? I fucking want to hang out with this dude. All right. I fucking want to hang out with this dude Alright well that's The end of that segment And now turn the show off Bert and Bart Anyone named Bert or Bart turn the show off Because I'm about to say let the games begin Name tags come out of the shadows

Lots of great name tags for you to choose from while you do that we'll do this we'll be right back after these messages today's episode is brought to you in part by legal zoom when you run your own business you know that time equals money it's not just an old saying, it's a fact. So why waste your valuable time dealing with issues that LegalZoom can help with? You may already know that over two million people have used LegalZoom to start their businesses,

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For special savings, be sure to enter promo code Doug in the referral box at checkout. That's promo code Doug for special savings only at LegalZoom.com. LegalZoom.com! Today's episode is also brought to you in part by the LA Podcast Festival festival have you ever wanted to see douglow's movies live well this is your chance we're recording a live podcast at the la

podcast festival this october not only will dlm be there but we'll be there with a ton of other great live podcasts including my favorite murder the dollop the jackie and laura show and loads more comedy podcasts mark your calendars for october 6th 7th and 8th and come on down to the beautiful and historic biltmore hotel in downtown los angeles this hotel was home to the academy awards way back in the 1930s this is a special gathering because it is 100% independent event produced for podcasters for podcast fans. I've always had a great time.

I think I've been to... How many times have I been to the LA Podcast Festival? At least three, maybe four. And it's always a great time. I'm always able to get great guests because there's other people not only doing their podcasts at the festival,

but it's in Los Angeles. So go to lapodfest.com and buy your tickets now. Feels like it's going to be a long year, so make sure you have some laughter scheduled into it. Don't miss us and a ton of others. Go to lapodfest.com and buy your tickets now. Back to the show.

All right, we're back. Great job, everybody. Congratulations to five people. Dana, you were going to say something? Oh, I was just, not for the, I was just, I think, to what you said before, between It and Annabelle 2, I'm a little tired of scary clowns and scary dolls. Let's just take a break. It's a little sweaty.

Dude, that's why I tried to make a movie about scary plants and nobody gave a fuck. Exactly. It's like when you meet a hooker in a movie and she doesn't have a heart of gold. She's actually just an emotionally deprived sociopath. Which most of them are. Yeah, indeed. I think you might be describing Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Deuce. Have you watched that yet? I haven't, but I think it looks good.

Thank God. I've got to get some vitamin Franco. That's what I need. I need me some vitamin Franco That's what I need I need me some Jim Franco But I was watching the trailer for the Disaster Artist In which The real Franco brothers Dave

What's his name? He's not me What the fuck is his name? James Franco I win the James. James Franco. James Franco. I win the first game. James Franco.

This is the part of the show where we just go a lot quicker with everything, guys, because we got to get the games in, and I got to get this point in. I'm going to forget it. No, I still got it. They play brothers in The Disaster Artist, but in The Deuce, James Franco plays himself and his brother. Is Dave like, what the fuck? Why you shut me out of this role, bro? I know you do that to Donnie in a heartbeat.

All the time, dude. Every time I get off from a movie, I go, Donnie, looks like we got one for you in this, too. And he's like, really? And then I lie to him when the shoot date is the day after we wrap. Oh, I bet you invite him to the wrap party. That's where you're going to shoot. Yeah, every time. And then I'm like,

park these cars. And he doesn't. All right. Let's talk about name tags. Who are you playing for, Mark? Boogie Nates. Fucking A, dude. Oh, okay.

You scoured the whole crowd until you found a movie that you were in. And then right after I took it, I saw another guy that had a Boogie Nights poster, so I gave him a firm handshake, and I think it changed his life. And if you like Boogie Nights, you'll enjoy The Deuce, which seems

to be the same thing. It does. Like an East Coast Boogie Nights is what I fucking feel. Yeah, very similar vibe. But the lead actor in the show isn't a porn star. He's just trying to open a bar. Well, let's see what happens. Right? Yeah. Exactly. I can hear the pitch.

Yeah, Lion's excited. I can hear the pitch. You know how exciting it is when someone's trying to open a bar? Yeah. Let me see if I can help Lion to go to sleep. A-weem-a-wep, a-weem-a-wep, a-weem-a-wep, a-weem-a-wep, a-weem-a-wep, a-weem-a-wep.

Emma, who are you playing for? Everything you always wanted to know about Alex, but were afraid to ask. And feel this poster quality. That's like a magnet, I think. It's not just paper. It's really well done. It's amazing material.

It has all of our faces. It has everybody's face on here. Sam Levine, Dan Soder, Tom, everybody. Jimmy Fallon, I think. This is the paper on sitcoms when you see people carrying groceries. The bag is made out of this so it doesn't ruin the sound.

Good work, bud. Good work. Congrats, Alex. Good job, Alex. Yeah! Tom? I am playing for a little lady named Janelle or Highwater. Look at this thing.

It lights up. Well, that's the perfect poster to slap Jeff Tate's face on. It's got my dear friend Jeff Tate's face on it. Cool thing for the listener at home, in the poster, Jeff Tate is the sun. It's like Teletubbies. I took it mostly because it lights up

like this. You didn't notice that one, Jeff? I did not. It also had joints on it, which are illegal and I will be turning you in to the authorities. Wow, that's wild that his poster's got a whole bunch of lawmen on it. Or at least one.

One big lawman sun face. But it's me. I'm the lawman, and you know what? I overlook it. You got bigger things to deal with. Yeah, I got these guys robbing banks. You're dealing with murder out there. Dude, before the show, remember I said

let's talk in southern accents. You're doing it. I don't think I am.'re like murder out there oh well god dang doug i kind of think you are too oh stop it you guys you guys are being silly i think we are no we're not yes we No, stop it. All right, I'll stop. We've got to evacuate. No, let's stay here in this bar and drink all day. I'm really, my thoughts are with all the people in Florida that are trying to evacuate and the stupid people that are just riding it out.

Whole bunch of fucking wannabe Mark Wahlbergs. You are not going to lone survive that shit. Get out. It just feels like every other disaster movie where people stand around going, it's not going to be a problem. And then you cut to them getting dead. Getting dead?

Getting dead, yes. It feels like more of a Deepwater Horizon situation and less of a lone survivor. I'm just saying. There's nothing Mark can do to help these folks. They just got to get out of harm's way. I'm just saying. There's nothing Mark can do to help these folks. They just got to get out of harm's way. I'm not there. Yeah, he's not there.

He's here helping the folks at Boise. You helped with those fires, didn't you? Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah, you were out there. That's why we haven't had a 9-11 here in Boise this whole week. Mark Wahlberg's been here. Thanks, Mark. That's the only thing I do.

We haven't had a 9-11 in Boise for that reason and also no tall buildings. But sure, I get you. I hear where you're coming from. Dana, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Joe, who created this fabulous poster. Planet of the Joes.

What's amazing is not only do you have a very good Photoshop, nice blending on the neck of Doug over Charlton Heston, but he put me as Dr. Zayas over Maurice Evans as Dr. Zayas. Well done. I was wondering, I saw that one on the internet, I was wondering why he didn't change Dr. Zayas into anything. He did.

It's just regular Dr. Zayas. No, but that's me as Dr. Zaius into anything. He did. It's just regular Dr. Zaius. No, but that's me as Dr. Zaius. Oh, that's you in the costume? Yeah, and he put it over the ring. Wow. I thought that was the real deal. Yeah. The Dr. Zaius makeup is what I call...

Who's that, Maurice Evans? In the movie, it was Maurice Evans, who was bewitched. But when I put on the Dr. Zaius makeup, that's what I call the deal... I don't remember a monkey on bewitched. That's I put on the Dr. Zaius makeup, that's what I call the deal... I don't remember a monkey on bewitched. That's what I call the deal closer when I'm squiring a lady.

That's how you close it out? I go, come over. I'm going to be in full Dr. Zaius makeup. And the next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire. You know how I close it out? I'm sorry, Mark? You know how I close it out?

Do tell. I look at the girl and I go, let's go. Jeff, who are you playing for? Evan. He made a movie called Evan and Doug Need Wedding Dates. And it's got Evan and Doug is needing wedding dates and it's got me and Emma as being said wedding dates. Yeah, thanks for giving me Emma

not Jeff as my date. I appreciate that. I assume that's the order that they're in. Yeah, yeah, and you know what? You know what, Doug? Not to be disrespectful, but I'm also glad I got Evan, and so do you. Wow. Like, Evan, me and Evan look like we could have a good time. Jeff, can you put on that dress?

I'm getting boned up over here. It's another step in the evolution of Jeff getting more casual. I've looked into it. He's like, dresses? Those are pants without legs. I already cut my sleeves off. Might as well go for it.

That's a really good Jeff Tate. Is that how I sound a lot? When I talk? I look like a knockoff Kool-Aid man right now. I'm Jeff Tate. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be honest, former Tom Brady. That was not a good Jeff Tate.

I'm sorry. Sorry, I was just trying to impress you guys. Dude, I look like a name brand whatever you said. Cool, I forgot. Does anybody have somewhere to go? Does this show have to be over by a specific time? No! All right, here we go.

Is it going to be anyone's bedtime soon? Is Lion gone? Lion took off. Enough of this shit. Wish he had a mic to drop. Lion's doing what we call a walk around. Lion got kicked out for yelling Amy Adams. I heard him.

I heard him. I heard him. I heard him. I said no. Not today. Alright, this first game we're going to play is something called Doug Loves Musicals. Oh, shit. Yeah.

If you don't love musicals, you might have a bit of a handicap. I'm going to name a bunch of a handicap I'm gonna name bunch of songs from a movie that has music in it songs in it and soon as you think what happened to the baby somebody say something about the baby he's right there don't talk about he's fine oh he's up there in the archway. Take a little walk around. A dingo did not eat the baby.

Come on, lady. Good impression, though. I wish the listeners could have heard that. Can you do an impression of that lady from that movie, Meryl Streep? I'll have what she's having. Can you do an impression of that lady from that movie? Meryl Streep? Oh, shit. I'll have what she's having. Streep, I'm going to be honest.

Is that Meryl? I really thought you'd be able to. You're such a good actor. No, but Streep's like the one person where I'm like, you're fucking good. That's interesting alright just guess as often as you like you guys until somebody lands on the

correct answer what and just the people on stage no audience guesses please what movie musical has these songs in it dressing song Mama Beauty and the Beast songs in it dressing song mama you got a beast no no 27 dresses la la salad the La La Salad. The second song is called We Are Victorious. Invictus.

That's a musical? Invincible. You've never been in a musical. Oh, fuck yeah, that isn't a musical Hypnotic duel Sword in the stone Dream stuff Hair Hairspray

None of those are songs in hair or hairspray Shampoo Conditioner Conditioner Did you see La La Land Did I say it Conditioner. Conditioner. Did you see La La Land? Did I say it? Did you see it?

Yeah, I fucking saw it twice, dude. Oh, is it La La Land? You think there was a song in there called We Are Victorious? I don't know. Gosling got a girl out of his league. He probably felt that way. Dungeon Ballet. Dungeon Ballet. Dungeon Ballet. Shut up.

Yeah. Elevator Song. There's dungeons and elevators in this fucking movie? Well, how are you going to get to the dungeon? Good call. Good call. I'm not listing them in order. They might sing the elevator song on their way to the dungeon.

Is it Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? No. They might sing the elevator song on their way to the dungeon. Is it Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? Are these songs with lyrics or are these soundtrack cuts? They kind of sound like soundtrack cuts, but some of them are actual songs. Phantom of the Opera. Like this one is an actual song, I'm pretty sure. Because We're Kids. Kids. No, that's not a musical.

Little Rascals. Newsies. Oliver? No. Oliver? No. Oliver and Company. Annie? Oh, Neverland? Nope, this next one.

Michael Jackson's Neverland. I'm hoping this next one gives it away. Okay. Ten Happy Fingers. Yeah, yeah. Not born on the 4th of July. What? I was making a firecracker joke.

What'd you say, Jeff? Two hands. Ten happy fingers. Mary Poppins. Eat, pray, love. If I do all three, I got ten happy fingers. I really hope ten happy fingers are given away because that's the closest title

to the title of the actual movie. The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T? Happy Feet. What's that? Happy Feet is all like pop songs. The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. That's a movie! It sure is, but the correct answer

is the 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. That is it. Wow. I was about to say that. I thought you had the wrong number of fingers, honestly. I thought it was more fingers. But yes, it's from 1953. It was based on some Dr. Seuss.

It was the first Seussical, probably. I believe it was directed by Frank Tashlin, who was a big Warner Brothers animation director and directed a lot of the great Jerry Lewis movies. There you go. Jerry Lewis is no longer alive with a heart not beating. Yeah, it's a cute movie. And that means that Dana Gould won that game.

Congratulations to Dana. All that means is you get to go first in this next game. But this is going to be right in your wheelhouse, my friend. Uh-oh. Because this game is called ABCD's Nuts. And today we are spelling, even the person who brought your name tag knows what a fan you are, of the film Planet of the Apes.

So using Planet of the Apes, starting with you, Dana, you get the Apes. So using Planet of the Apes, starting with you, Dana, you get the letter P. Then we'll go to Tom and then to Emma and then to Mark and Jeff. You start with the letter P. You name any movie that begins with the letter P, you're still in the game. Not that hard. You match the one that I wrote down ahead of time, then you win the whole game automatically. Wow. So Dana,, that's your letter, P, because that begins Planet of the Apes. Any movie that begins with the letter P.

I'm going to go with the 80s horror film Popcorn. Okay. Would have been really fantastic if we matched. But I went with Project X. Oh. Yeah. Also has an ape in it. Oh, does it?

Tom, the letter is L. All right. I'm going to say popcorn. 80s horror film popcorn. Yeah, popcorn. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with L.A. Confidential. Okay.

Which doesn't, yeah. Yeah, that begins with L. I went with Link. Okay. Yeah. Emma, your letter is A. Ape Planet. No, that's not my real guess.

That's not my real guess. Annabelle. Annabelle. Annabelle, yes, of course. You know that the guy that directed the second Annabelle movie brought the Annabelle doll to Douglas movies. No, I didn't know that. Yeah. It was a good thing Jeff Tate wasn't on that day.

Yeah. Because he would have cried. I would have been too scared to play. For the letter A, I went with ape. You were right. You were so close. You stupid bastard. Yeah, in 1976, there was a movie called Ape.

But it's spelled with asterisks in between it, like mash. No, it is, it is. I know these. I only have one area of expertise. All right, Mark, your letter is N. Nocturnal Animals. Oh, that's a good one. I went with Night at the Museum Battle of the Smithsonian.

Okay, Okay. A movie about nocturnal animals. There you go. Jeff, your letter's E. Every which way but loose. Nope. Ed. Ed. Damn! Nope, Ed Alright Dana, your letter is T My, for T is

My favorite movie Where despite being The hero of the movie The hero still blatantly rapes someone. Thunderball. Oh, James Bond? Yeah. He does a lot of terrible things.

But he also keeps us safe. In that movie, there's a woman in a steam room, and he walks in, and she goes, Oh, no, Mr. Bond. And he goes, Oh, yes, and shuts the door. And that's it. The cops don't show up later. That's just a crime.

It's a license to kill. That's it. Instead of Thunderball. Oh, it's not a license to kill pussy? That's license to crush. A totally different designation. I went with Tarzan and the Lost City. Oh.

Oh, for Tom Takar. I'm sure that there's... There's not a movie called Orangutan. Is there? Because I'm going to be pissed off. There's one called Chimpanzee. I'm going to go with Oh Brother Where Art Thou. Okay.

I went with Outbreak. Fuck. Also involving a monkey. There's a theme here. I don't see it, Dana. Emma gets, what do you get? F. F.

You get F. Which I did the math, and I was like, planet apes, so I'm P. So I had a P one planned. F. I'm going to go with Fargo. Sorry. I'm on Fargo. But what I wrote down was Fist of the Golden Monkey And fist has a dot between each letter

Just like mash Remember the movie Fist I do With Sylvester Stallone T is your letter, Mark. All right. To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar. I thought they looked all right in their dresses.

Tarzan in Manhattan. H. Jeff. Home Alone. Right? Not taking any more chances. Yeah, don't take any chances. I took a chance, because this kind of doesn't fit the theme, but it's still funny to me.

Harry and the Hendersons. E is the next letter for Dana. This might be too close to the center of the target. Escape from the Planet of the Apes? Dude. I went with Every which way but loose.

We are two ships that pass in the night. You know, they are doing, they are putting orangutans into all of Clint Eastwood's subsequent films. Oh, good. I can't wait to see one in Sully. Yeah. Could be his co-pilot.

Tom? I can't land this plane while that orangutan is flipping off the flight attendants. A is your letter, Tom. And as you know, we already said ape. I heard about that. I was listening to the podcast. I heard about that.

I'm going to go with Argo because of that fucking ape John Goodman. He's a delightful actor and a sweet man. Yeah, he's really good. Immediately take it back. I went with the sequel to Every Which Way You Can Any Which Way You Can.

Oh, shit! Yeah, it was right there. Oh, somebody's even got the poster in the audience. Wow. Back to you for being impressive. Well, it says Ginny which way you can. That's confusing. Could have helped me out a little there, Ginny.

I hate you, Ginny. You know, Planet of the Apes is in Argo. That's where they get the idea to contact John Shaker. That's right. That's, again, one area of expertise. This is your show and it's about movies.

That was interesting. John Goodman plays John Chambers who, never mind. God damn it. Dana knows everything about movies with apes in them except the one I'm looking for when it's his turn.

Consistently. P for Emma. That's a movie that you don't want to watch. It's the worst children's spelling program ever. It's actually the name of my very popular and lucrative website. P4Emma.org I'm going to go with

there's a bunch of Planet of the Apes movies. I don't know if you're aware of that. The trouble is only the ones called Planet of the Apes start with the word P with planet. That's the problem. So there's not like three Planet of the Apes? You the word P, with planet. That's the problem. So there's not like three, Planet of the Apes? You could say the one that Mark Wahlberg was in.

I'm talking about the Charlton Heston classic. Okay. I'm going to go with Planet of the Apes 3, even apier. No. Colon. Colon, evenapier. I'm going to go with Practical Magic.

Okay. That's a good one. I went with a classic called Primal Force, which I guess has a monkey in it. Back to you, Mark, with the letter E. I think there's a monkey in Practical Magic, too, isn't there? Oh, maybe. Yeah. He should have went with that. There's that famous, there's a monkey in Practical Magic, too, isn't there? Oh, maybe. Yeah, he should have went with that. There's that famous, there's a monkey,

and they're all dancing and licking limes and singing in the kitchen. It's a pretty famous scene. Sandra Bullock bangs him to get her groove back or whatever. Yeah, yeah. That sounds like impractical magic. See how many he keeps going. Oops, it's already.

E is the letter mark. Escape from New York. Oh. It was mentioned earlier at the wrong time. Escape from the Planet of the Apes. Oh! Now you're just edging me. All right, Jeff gets the letter S,

but if Jeff doesn't come up with the right answer, everyone else on the panel will get a shot at it. Jeff, S. All right, Jeff gets the letter S, but if Jeff doesn't come up with the right answer, everyone else on the panel will get a shot at it. Jeff, S. Snakes on a plane. Ooh. I hate clown snakes. Uh, no. Dana.

S. No talking! No talking! Uh, farts. Uh, this isn't it. I'm gonna go with the movie Sssss.

Okay. Which was produced by Dan Strypak, who was the head of the Fox makeup department, who hired John Chambers to do the makeup for Planet of the Apes, who was played by John Goodman in Argo. Wow. Wow. Wow. who was played by John Goodman in Argo.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I was going to say, that answer's ridiculous because we know it's got something that's got monkeys in it. I have established a link. But you tied it together.

You did a good job. You established a link. See what I did? Tom? I'm going to say Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope. You're going to say it? I don't know why. Emma?

I figured Chewbacca. It doesn't matter. I figured Space Monkey. Oh, I like we got a handoff here on the Lions team. Now that I think about it. Good work. Good co-parenting, guys. I'm sorry I said Space Monkey.

That sounded like a slur now that I think about it That dude could just He could just put Lion in the pocket In his hoodie Space balls? Oh That's got a monkey in it? No

Yes Okay, confirm, there's a monkey in it. This guy's very excited about it. There goes the planet. So you win, Emma. I win, guys. I win. You're my winner, but Mark, go ahead and give it a try. 16 candles.

Oh, wait. can I guess? Is it Stwell of monkeys? I actually wondered that earlier, if that would count as a T. It would or would not? It would not, right? Not if you say it's Stwell. I would have accepted Space Chimps.

What about Say? Did Dunstan check in? That's what I thought, too. Different thing. The other title I would have accepted is Spanking the Monkey. Oh! Is that a movie? Yeah. Sure is.

Shit. Yeah. Two hours of just jerking it. It's okay. I wasn't saying what you're doing, Wallace. I thought you liked it. All right, so yeah, so since Emma called herself the winner of that game, I think she

is the winner of that game. Wow. We gotta start trying to wrap this thing up. We're having so much fun, though, and we've got to play one more game, so we're going to play Last Man Stanton. This, of course, is the name where we get the name of an actor or an actress from an audience member

that's been preselected by me. Take turns. I play along, we take turns saying the movies they've been in. If you can't think of one, you're out. Your name tag is your once only lifeline that I recommend going to early. It's probably a good strategy. And there's two people in the audience

that told me they have, there's more than two. Thank you to everyone who wrote to me on Twitter, but where is Evan4413? Yeah! That's you right there. You wrote to me on Twitter today and said, I've got a name for Last Man Stanton. I will not let you down.

Mmm. Yeah, so I'm telling everyone here just because I feel like you're about to let me down. What name would you like us to use today, dude? Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper, all right. I have mixed feelings about that. He's got a pretty strong body of work, but, you know, not that many movies.

So we're going to get a second name just to make it interesting. Where is Jim Greaves? You wrote to me I've got a great name for last man standing today, is it Bradley Cooper? Okay, then I'd like to hear who it is because that would have been an amazing coincidence and you guys would legally be married What do you got for us, Jim? Okay, Ewan McGregor. Yeah, so it's the films of Ewan McGregor and I already forgot the first one. Bradley Cooper. Bradley Coops. Bradley Coops. And it's got to be the correct title. All decisions are made by me in our final, and I'll contact the corrections department if there's a problem later.

Nobody needs to tell me when I'm wrong. Especially you, Lion. Right now he's like, this is a lovely lobby. Right now he's like, this is a lovely lobby. Okay, so Emma gets to start us off, and then we'll go to Tom. Did we choose? Are we doing both? We're doing both. Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, okay. This is a new wrinkle, Emma. The names are often unsatisfying to me, and also they don't have enough titles that we would all know, so I decided to get more than one name. Okay, I'm going with either one of those. Moulin Rouge. Which one is in that? Ewan McGregor.

That's correct. Moulin Rouge. That southern accent is just getting better and better It's just coming along And it's sequel Moulin Rouge 2 even apier Mark

You said Tom before Oh yeah I'm sorry you're right Thank you Mark you're an honest guy Good man I'll say Star Wars Episode 2, The Clone Wars. That's Ewan McGregor. Isn't that just called Clone Wars? Dude, you gotta get this together

because it's way too early for you to fall out. So either change your answer or go to your lifeline. I'll just change it. I'll go with Guardians of the Galaxy for Bradley Cooper. Yep.

That's right. Are you stonewalling me, you pieces of shit? Come on, I need this. I have very little in life. Hang on, you guys, I got this. There's a little bit more to the title than that. Volume 1? Yeah. All right, there. the title than that. Volume 1? Yeah.

All right, there. Jesus. Was it called Volume 1? That's what it's called. All right, all right, all right. Like, when you're watching it. All right, man. Which is, you know, which is interesting.

Most movies, the first one doesn't have a number in the title. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Man, Southern Doug is a stickler. God damn. Shit. Rules, rules is rules. Hell yeah. We're back to this.

Hey, Doug, this is the most roundabout way somebody's gone to like cheat on the show is a guy that does the show put a little extra wrinkle in the title of a movie so that someone will get fucked

later on. That's why they named it that. So now, because that guy, James Gunn, we'll talk about it after. It's Dana's turn. Ewan McGregor's in Shallow Grave. Yeah, he is.

That's an easy one to get right. Even gravier. even gravier Jeff Ewan McGregor is in A Life Less Ordinary nobody's seen it but that's cause they have terrible empty lives get on your shit it's a it, but that's because they have terrible empty lives. Get on your shit. It's a musical, right?

It's great, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's fun. I can do that in Doug Love's musicals. Yeah. No one will ever think of it. No, I'll forget. I'm not going to do it when you're on the show.

I'll just go with terrain spotting. Woo! Yeah. Mark? Bradley Cooper, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Yeah. Nice pull. Can we just get to the part where it's just me and Dana and Jeff left? All right, all right, all right.

He ain't lying. He ain't lying. Let's go. I'm going to get out of here. We're going to go. Shit. This game's going slower than molasses in Memphis. Jeff is definitely wearing the most colors.

Yeah. You look like the 64 crayon box. None of that 12 bullshit for you. Here's what it is. I wore all black forever, and it was because I was super depressed, and I also can't tell if colors match, so then I stopped being super depressed. Yes, I could have guessed part of that. I didn't know that you were super depressed, but the B side of that I nailed.

But I switched to the colors because who cares? Like, nobody's looked at this, and they're just like, what? But they're not like, hmm, that's a little off. No, orange, red, and blue is a classic combination. I can see Jeff's suicide note now. Let me talk, Dana. You can see where my pen comes over his. I don't, it says let me talk,

and then it tell you about this guy who knew a guy who made makeup for a Planet of the Apes movie. Arrows to another note. Holy shit. All right, well, the show's gonna go long, and I need another Tito's and Soda, please. Can I get one of those, too?

Thank you. I'm gonna, The Hangover, with Bradley Cooper. Yeah, he was. Yeah. I'm still in it, Mark. Yeah,. Yeah. I'm still in it. Yeah, you are. I'm still in it. Star Wars Episode II, Attack of the Clones.

Yeah! He did it! Woo! Clone Wars, that was fucking brutal. That was the lowest stakes redemption story I've ever seen. Come on! That was a story more inspiring than Rudy. Rudy wasn't even that inspiring, I'll say it. Come on! That was a story more inspiring than Rudy.

Rudy wasn't even that inspiring, I'll say it. He didn't really do anything. He just got to be in one play. I bet he was racist, too. He's an Indian. He's a fucking idiot. That little fucker was off sides. All right, Dana, the films of Ewan or that other person, Bradley. Ewan McGregor is in Down With Love. Oh, yeah. Yes.

I like how you shake through the deep cuts first. He plays a dual role in that, and he also plays a dual role in Fargo on FX, and he also plays a... Jeff, your turn. What? That was so abrupt, I'm lost. Bradley Cooper

was in Wedding Crashers. Yeah, he was. That's right. Yes, he was. What I was leading up to there was Ewan McGregor plays dual roles in The Island. Oh, yeah. I dare say my favorite Michael Bay movie if I say sentences that have Michael Bay in them and favorite. And you've also forgotten about Armageddon. I understand.

And you've also forgotten about Armageddon. I understand. I still like the island better because Armageddon doesn't have... What's her name? Scarjo. Scarjo. That's true. It's just got live tie.

Hey, is your fifth kid going to be named Scar? That'd be cool. That'd be cool. They fucking threw out the baby name book And said let's just wing it Malachi That kid's gonna be a child of the corn Mark what do you got? Hangover 3.

Yes, wait. The Hangover 3. Wait. Fuck, I'll go a different movie. Okay. I didn't want to pull this one out, but... Do it. Wet Hot American.

God damn it. Yeah. Fuck. Wet Hot Americans. God damn it. Wet Hot Emma. Does The Hangover 2 have more stuff on it also? What's that?

Is it The Hangover 2 or is it The Hangover 2 Even Gravier? Like is there more on the end? Are you trying to have a side conversation into a microphone? My question still stands, though. You could go to your lifeline if you want. No, um, okay.

He's in the one, and he's sad. This ain't how you do it, Emma. And he's living with his parents. Show your work, Walk us through it. And it won a thing. Silver lining playbook. God damn it. Wait, what'd she say?

The silver lining playbook. Don't help her. Do not help her. Do not mansplain. Do not mansplain. Silver lining playbook. Books. There's more than one books.

Books. There's silver lining. Why don't you use your lifeline? This is literally her eighth try. Use your lifeline. Alex, please help me. Give her something. Limitless. Oh, but now it's Ham's going to get it.

Silver Linings Playbook. Oh, okay. Okay. Dana. Bradley Cooper's in American Hustle. Yeah, he is. Yeah. Burnt.

Bradley Cooper was in Burnt. Pardon me, but my food is burnt. Sorry, I'm doing cocaine. We've all seen it. We'd see. Do you know what that answer makes me feel? What? Joy. Mark?

First off, Emma, I'm not gonna give you answers. Stop whispering to me, although I appreciate you knew to do it off mic. For the listener at home, Emma is snort laughing. She also done that classic girl move where they put their hair over their face

as though they're not here anymore. You're like Donnie in Hide and Seek. You covered your own eyes, Donnie. You're still in the kitchen. He doesn't even know he's dead. Oh, I know. Jesus. That's all I hear about our date. Mark, remember when I was in Sixth Sense? Yeah, because you tell me about it, Don know. Jesus, that's all I hear about our date. Mark, remember when I was in Sixth Sense?

Yeah, because you tell me about it, Donnie. Okay. American Sniper. Bradley Coops. What'd you say? American Sniper, yeah. Yeah. Good job. Are we allowed to do the streaming ones?

Like the ones on Netflix? I don't know. Do it again. Wet Hot American Summer. Can I do the one that was on Netflix? You mean the thing that has episodes? Okay, okay. Instead, I'm going to go with The Hangover 2.

Even Lion knows that's not correct. No? Shit. No, that was a joke answer also, and I'm going to go with I'm going to go with Scarbro. With Ewan McGregor. What's that?

I'm out. I'm just done. I'm sorry. I let you all down. I'm sorry, Boise. I was out, everybody. I'm sorry. Yes. The Wahlberg prophecy

is halfway home. Tom Takar, are you still with us? I'm going to go with he's just not that into you. That's Bradley Cooper. He's in that? Yeah. That's Bradley Cooper. He's in that? Yeah. He's an asshole.

In real life. Okay. Star Wars Episode 1, The Phantom Menace, also known as So you missed that middle part where they explain how the makeup guy knew Charlton Heston?

Mesa likes Dana's anecdotes. Mesa like those anecdotes. Do it. You get to put your thing on the... There you go. There you go. Good job, Tom. Slow drop.

Jeff? Ewan McGregor was in Star Wars Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith Yep That's right Everybody agrees Don't y'all fucking google it Just accept it

You know Jeff I'm a little Sith of your attitude And I'm gonna go with The movie in which I think Bradley Cooper effectively played the villain with dreads with Dax Shepard called Hit and Run. Yeah that's good I saw that. It's good. Back in his best friend days when that's all he could do, B. Coops killed it in failure to launch. Fuck!

Fuck! Just before the McConnaissance. Fuck! Oh, fuck! All right, I'm gonna go to my lifeline. Everything Mark said is gonna happen. All right, where's my lifeline at? What you got? Oh, fuck. Everything Mark said is gonna happen. Alright, where's my lifeline at?

What you got? Velvet Goldmine. What is it? Velvet Goldmine? Alright, that's it. The cool thing is, she said that with her cell phone in her left hand. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you hate the audience?

She might have, Mark, but she's got AT&T. Her phone don't work in here. That's alright. I'm just. I'm sorry. You hate the audience? She might have, Mark, but she's got AT&T. Her phone don't work in here. That's all right. I'm just talking TV. I wish she had just thrown a bunch of gibberish words together and tricked you into repeating it. I thought that's what she was doing. What are the odds he knows which one of those guys is in that movie? Oh, yeah, which one's in it?

No, no, no, no, no. Well, I don't have to say. Dana? Dana? I have an idea, but. I don't have to say. Dana? I have an idea, but I'm going to double check Joe. Joe, what do you got? But that's not the name of it. I think it's close enough. No?

We got some people in the audience that say that Trainspotting 2 is not accurate. Even Trainspotting 2? I know that in the marketing they were like calling it T2, like kind of like, you know,

Terminator 2. Is it more Trainspotting? No. Trainspotier? Trainspotted dick? Trainspotier? In that case, I'm going to go with

Hangover 3 leaving Las Vegas. What? Is that what it was got another Ewan McGregor. I'm gonna go with Hangover 3 leaving Las Vegas. What? Is that what it was called? I don't believe so. What are you talking about? He said Hangover 3 leaving Las Vegas. No.

Operation Can One of These Be Good? No. Oh, you're thinking of The Hangover. That already got said. That was good. Well, not The Hangover... Uh, I think I might be out. All right. Yeah. That already got said. That was good. Well, nothing. I think I might be out.

All right. Yeah. Hell yeah. Your prophecy is wrong, Mark. Get fucked. Unless Trainspotting 2 is acceptable. Former Tom Brady. Look up the title.

Look up the title for Trainspotting 2. That's not what it's called, though. I think it's called Trainspotting 2. What's it called? Does anyone have a small handheld device that is connected to the internet? Yeah, but the bus bench ads... All right already, accept it. Judge Doug has ruled.

You're yelling at me, but they're the ones who shouldn't be talking. I'm yelling at you because you're doing it into a microphone. They're just doing it in their seats. Oh, Jesus. See, I knew there was some shit like that. No, too bad Judge Duck already ruled. It's a live-die-repeat. It's a live-die-repeat thing.

I already gave it to Dana because I already said out loud T2, so we're already on the right track. All right, Jeff. Live-die-repeat. All about Steve. Oh. Nice Bradley Cooper pull. All right.

I just want to do this now just so we can shut up about it. The Hangover Part 2. No colon, no subtitle. I feel like we could have workshopped that together like you did with Dana. We could have. Yeah, it does seem unfair at this point i know in emma's defense i know he was in the island was he in the island too why are you island i didn't know i'm sorry to step on your. I thought you were really just giving another answer out of turn.

Because it's Mark's turn. The Hangover, part three. Lion, he says thumbs up. Nice. That is correct. Well, shit. The prophecy might have come true just now. Because I'm going to say closer.

Is that you or McGregor? There's four people in that, and he's not in it. So it's Jude Law? I get them mixed up. Yeah, he's not Jude Law. Can I change it? Can I say the Lego movie? Wait, what's happening?

You said your guess. I said the wrong one. Okay. I said no. All right. Shut up. Wasn't talking to you, lion. Keep making as much noise as you want.

Dana? The Ghost Rider. With Pierce Brosnan. Right. I'm sorry. it was G2. Semi-colon. The ghostwriter. Asterisk.

Ghost written. Asterisk? I think the only asterisk I could think of is batteries not included. I had an asterisk at the beginning. One could say that the little flare in between ape were asterisks. But they're in the middle. That's not an asterisk. An asterisk is up on top. But I think it's the

same showery daisy look. Okay. Everything you ever wanted to know about sex. Asterix. But you were afraid to ask. I thought you were giving the worst answer for Bradley Cooper and you and McGregor. No, no no i would say the place beyond the pines oh okay that's a bradley cooper movie then there was that then there was rudy allen's other movie everything you want to know

about sex with your wife's daughter too soon but we're afraid to google. For fear you would Yahoo yourself. Bing. Bing. Ewan McGregor, The Impossible. Oh, yeah. The story of Florida this weekend. Oof. There's an intense storm.

Have you guys heard? There's a... The biggest storm that's ever been. Right now. Call your friends in Florida. You guys remember five minutes ago when former Tom Brady thought I was gonna be wrong about something? Look, there was a default.

There was a problem with the game. Okay, no, it's good. We're just establishing. All right, here we go. Or maybe should you not tie up their lines in Florida because they don't have so much... They don't have a lot of... I don't know what to do.

I don't know what we can do in Boise. Pray? Did you say pray? I will murder you. That was lying, Doug. Wait. You should find someone with a birthday and then make a wish. Where you at, mates?

Oh, he's going to his lifeline. Exciting. I hope you looked at her cell phone. I did not. Zootopia? Oh, shit. Zootopia? With a question mark at the end? Which one do you think was in it? What's that? Bradley Cooper's not in Zootopia. Now wait, do I have to let a normal person decide my fate or can I change that answer? Well you went to your lifeline,

but if you've got something else, you could do that. It would just be a guess, too. Well, okay, I need you to do something. The Lego Batman movie? Which one is in that? Coops. No coops. Damn, sorry, dude.

This is what it feels like. When doves cry, yeah. You're feeling maximum pain. Dana? It's up there, it's up there. Is Dana still in this? Well, hmm. This is how we felt when we saw the happening.

Mark, this is how we felt when we saw the happening. Mark, this is how we felt when we saw the happening. An hour and a half later, we're like, this is a waste of time. How I felt after 18 hours of Twin Peaks. Go fuck myself.

What? Knock, knock. Who's there? Ted. Ted who? Never mind. Look at that. What?

Watch this scene where they paint shovels. That's my David Lynch impression. Dana, what do you got? You don't get that time back. I got nothing. Oh, so you're out. I'm out. Jeff, stroking his beard. Just pull out one more answer.

Oh, he's going to his lifeline. Jeff and his amazing Technicolor lifeline. Midnight Meat Train. Midnight Meat Train. Coops is in that. Coops' first role? Coops is in the Midnight Meat Train. No, no, no.

It's not his first role. It came out just a couple years ago. It's some fucking weird Clive Barker. Oh, okay. It's very weird. I would say Our Kind of Traitor. That's for sure an Ewan McGregorer. Oh, okay. It's very weird. Midnight Meat? I would say Our Kind of Traitor. That's for sure an Ewan McGregor movie. Wait, wait.

You're taking your lifeline and just shitting all over it. Even though we've established that it was correct. Yeah, yeah. And then what'd you say? I don't know. I thought it was over. I thought we were debating that, so I was like, I got another one. If we can end that. Wait, please stop saying answers.

Because the game is still going on between Jeff and I, even though Jeff doesn't seem to understand that. What was the second thing you said, Jeff, after Midnight Meat Train? What did you just fucking say? Just repeat it. Our kind of traitor. It's repeat it. Our kind of traitor.

It's my turn. Our kind of traitor. Your turn. Damn. See what happens when I lose? Everything goes to shit. You just got Vincent. Right, right.

And that would really... Black Hawk Down. Who's in Black Hawk Down? Ewan McGregor is in Blackhawk Down. You know what? I bet he is. So I'm going to have to go with JFK. Is he the Scottish American soldier in Blackhawk

Down? Which one of those two dudes is in JFK? JFK is what you say when you don't have any more answers, but there's a chance he's in it because it has 50 actors in it. Jeff Tate is our winner! Yeah! Jeff Tate or Salad?

Come get your prizes, whoever Jeff was playing for. What's the name on the name tag? Evan, it's that guy. Evan, here you go, dude. There's several bags. Let me get them all for you. Oh, I got it down to two, so you should be able to fly. Or whatever it is you're doing.

Congratulations, dude. Give me all the name tags for the end here. And we'll start with you on the end there, Jeff. Give us your plugs, dude. October 21st, I'm in Traverse City, Michigan. And the first weekend in November,

I'm in Minneapolis. Yeah. What's the name of the venue in Traverse City? Oh, I don't know the names of the venues yet. I can't remember. I forgot to look them up on my way here, so I'm just going to say the two cities. And then follow me on Twitter,

at JeffTate96. That's it. That's all I got. Yeah. Okay. Dana Gould, what's going on, dude? Stand Against Evil Season 2 premieres on IFC November 1st.

I can't believe we didn't bring that up yet. As we call it, S-T-E-2 colon. Season 1 is on Hulu right now. All right, and your dude Planet of the Joes, where's he at? Right there. There you are. What's your shithead, dude? Oh, and, where's he at? Right there. There you are. What's your shithead, dude? Oh, and tonight I'm at the Liquid Lounge.

At 8 p.m. Come see Dana at Liquid 8 p.m. Go see Dana. Tonight, yes. Go see him. Go see him. Okay, that's a good one. Tom, what's going on?

A couple things. I have a podcast called Stand By Your Band, where we have comics come on to defend shitty music that they love, like Kid Rock and Toby Keith and Coldplay and shit. I like it. I could defend all of those. Please do it. There's no way I would do that. So check that out, Stand By Your Band.

I also, if you live in New York City, please come to Caroline's Comedy Club on Broadway September 27th at 9.30. Me and my dear friend Tommy McNamara, who's the co-host of my podcast, have a show called Tom and Tommy Comedy Mommy where we're going to have great comics on Joe List, a part of Nonchurla,

Christina Hutchinson from Guys We Fucked, Sean Donnelly, Martin Urbano and more, and promo code MOMMY for $10 tickets. So come to that. It would mean a ton to us. Thank you very much, Tom. Takar, Emma,

Arnold, what's going on with you? Next week I will be in Madison and doing comedy on state with Ron Funches. Nice. And the week after that I will be in Madison and doing comedy on state with Ron Funches. Nice. And the week after that I will be all around Michigan and check my website, marnoldcomedy, for our dates. And then I will be back in Idaho

and doing some shows around the Northwest after that. Excellent. And Mark Wahlberg, Daddy's Home 2? Yep, comes out in November, me and Will Ferrell. And then... You had two movies with him? You don't know how to say his last name? I'll say it when he earns it.

And then Six Million Dollar Man. Current season of Wahlburgers is out right now. I saw you went to one of our locations. I'm sure you fucking loved it. I was standing outside of Wahlburgers in Cleveland. Didn't want to go in, but... What? But got my picture out front, because I love you, man.

Okay, I'll take that promo. Yeah, you're the best. Other than that, sign up for AT&T, and I'm sure this year I'm going to win a fucking Oscar. Whoa. Shit. I heard that Gary Oldman's gonna win Best Actor this time

Oh shit That's actually not true Okay The buzz is that he's really good in this new movie I do not think that's gonna happen Okay You can pick the mic back up instead of doing a push up every time This mic has been dropped

That's where it will fucking stay. Well, thank you for being here, Mark. Do you have any parting words? I don't like this. I am the best. All right, before I get into some very heavy shitheads, I'd just like to say thank you to everybody for coming, and my plug is that Douglas Movies is back

at the American Comedy Company in San Diego on November 22nd. Of course, we've established that Douglas Movies is going to come back to Boise, Idaho. So much fun. One more round of applause for all of my guests, Jeff Tate, Dana Gould, Tom Takar, Emma Arnold,

and Mark Wahlberg. As always, now this first one decided to put three things. So for the music cue for the outro, I'm going to say four, five, six, seven shit. Yeah, seven shitheads I'll just say play the song I'll just do that because there's a lot here hurricanes my soon to be but not soon enough

ex-wife and here's where it gets really intense you guys everybody remember I'm reading what someone else is forcing me to read And here's where it gets really intense, you guys. Everybody remember, I'm reading what someone else is forcing me to read. Donald Trump's cunt of a mother for not getting an abortion or at least drowning him in a bathtub at a young age. I'm so sorry that Lion had to hear that.

Also, it gets a little redundant. Hurricane Irma's a shithead. Hurricanes and forest fires are shitheads. And finally, I don't know who this is. Maybe you do. Courtney Moore. What are you pointing to?

No, that's the... He won. That's the winning one, right? Isn't it? That's the one Jeff had? That's okay. I want to know who it is now. Maybe it's a funny one to end on. Oh, it's not bad. And to know who it is now. Maybe it's a funny one to end on.

Oh, it's not bad. And finally, get the music ready. Mother Nature's angry vagina is a shit. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies!