Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Jacob Sirof and Dustin Ybarra guest

Episode Date: February 20, 2016

Live from the UCB Sunset Theatre, Doug welcomes fan-favorites Geoff Tate, Jacob Sirof and Dustin Ybarra to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see The Doug of Louise I like walking through a door. You try to walk through the door over at UCB Franklin, and you fucking smash into an audience member, and it's a very awkward start to the proceedings.

This is interesting. This is the first time doing Doug Loves Movies in this spot, but let's start from the top. Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies! This is Doug Loves Movies! Pretty professional. Coming to you for the first time from the UCB Sunset location. We've done Getting Doug with high here, but this is our first DLM here. It's Friday

night, February 19th, 2016. You can feel the excitement. It's like, it's almost like having it on a Friday night makes the crowd less excited because you guys are just like, it's just Friday night makes the crowd less excited because you guys are just like, oh, it's just it's already late and

we had a long day today and, you know, like there's something about a Tuesday night crowd or a Wednesday night crowd. It's just they're just more fired up because they're just like we got to do something to get through this goddamn week. Let me

see your name tags, please, and thank you. I knew there'd be some good ones, and then some people that are like, it's Friday night. I fucking worked all day. I'm going to go down to the UCB, and I'm going to sit next to an empty seat. We've got two empties here.

You can't sit together. Single riders. All the single riders. All the single riders. All the single riders. Put your hands up. Alright, so thank you for bringing your name tags. I like the Captain America, but instead

it's Captain Amberica. Oh, there's an A at the end. Ghost Bilsters. You tweeted me today. You're like, look for Ghost Bilsters. And I was like, yeah, you'll probably be amongst a sea of name tags. Nope. It's Friday night in Los Angeles. You guys have something else to go to after this that you don't want to bring your name tag with.

I get it. I understand. But thank you to everybody who did bring a name tag. Is that really a hot pizza? It's 30-edible. I get it. I understand. But thank you to everybody who did bring a name tag. And is that really a hot pizza? It's a 30-minute-old pizza. 30-minute-old pizza as a name tag. That might be a first. And if it's not chosen, I will choose it.

Doug's plugs. We're back at Meltdown Comics this Sunday, February 21st at 420-ish. I'll be in Fort Lauderdale doing stand-up next Thursday, February 25th at 10pm. Bring your name tags,

you guys, because it's a stand-up show, but we play Last Man Standing with audience members at the end. And then, it's the first ever Doug Loves Movies taping in Fort Lauderdale. Again, at 420-ish. Both shows at the Improv at the Hard Rock.

Did I say it was Saturday, February 27th? Who made that dinging noise? What was that about? That'd be funny if it was an alarm to remind you, 10.30 Friday night, Doug Loves Movies. Remind yourself that you're here.

Or if you're somewhere else, oh shit, I missed it. Both shows in Florida are 18 plus because that's how Florida rolls. They don't care about the minds of those youngsters. And I think there's still a few tickets left for Douglas Movies at the Gramercy in New York City on March 3rd. I take it back immediately.

That is sold out. Between when I wrote this and now, it's sold out. DouglasMovies.com, that's DouglasMovies.com. The prize bag tonight is the lovely backpack from what's this company's name volcom uh you know when it comes to backpacks trust in volcom uh yeah it's Volcom backpack, but it's got a patch on it that seems very tenuous.

Seems like it'd be very easy to rip right off of it. But it says not safe with Nikki Glaser because I did her show last week. And yeah, it's a terrific show. Thank you. And yeah, so they gave me a backpack. I've already got a backpack. So now you guys get a backpack.

One of you tonight will get this backpack. In addition to, are there people in the audience that have microphones? It sounds very loud. Are you ordering drinks? Right? Isn't there some people talking about something behind me it's the fucking guests shut the fuck up back there you assholes jesus christ you ever done anything in show business ever in your life? I've got an air freshener from the movie Southbound,

which is about purgatory, which is where my guests are right now. It's hard. If I were one of them back there, I'd be chatting it up. It's hard to be a comedian hanging out with other comedians and not just talk amongst yourselves

and not paying attention to anything that's going on. I've tried to tell the rules of the games to comedians backstage. It's like talking to a... It's like telling a puppy how to subtract in the prize bag tonight VHS copies of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode called. I sure hope that was like her and Willow going down on Spike. And a Dawson's Creek episode.

Did the lights just change? Or is it time for my medicine? The lower the better. I like it nice and dark. As soon as I'm trying to read the tiny label on the side of this VHS tape, the lights get dimmer.

Dawson's Creek, episode 213. So that'll be second season, 13th episode. Lucky episode of season two is called His Leading Lady, which must have been the title of an old movie because every title of Dawson's Creek episodes is a movie title. Everyone is fascinated by that.

Trivia. Let's get some excitement over someone's going to win a CD by a band, an underrated band that goes by the name Limp Bizkit. Yeah, fucking significant other. Great album. It's not as good

as their album. What was that one? Hot Water and Hot Dogs and what was that one? Water, hot water, and hot dogs, and what was it called? Chocolate Starfish and the hot dog flavored water. Chocolate Starfish

and the hot dog flavored water. That is like writing out a suicide note for your album title. Like, what a fucking stupid... Finally somebody has given Fred Durst a hard time. That guy, he's escaped ridicule for all these years.

But you know, bottom line, he did it all for the nookie. As do I. Several, I took a stack of these from the Arclight. They're, what do you call them, coasters that say bottoms up hashtag Deadpool on them.

And from someone in the audience tonight, Chelsea, right? She gave me this bag that looks like this basement. I'm getting done with high, so it's a cool bag. And it's just full of weed swag. Like, no actual weed. Settle down. But, you know, I'm sure Captain

M. Burica could do something with the contents of this bag. And all of that, plus what my guests bring, is going to be somebody's tonight at around midnight. I think we have until midnight tonight. Do you guys

have to be anywhere? This is the... I think this is the latest Doug Lo's movies ever. I think. Yeah. Do impressions of ghosts to celebrate. Woo!

Woo! Woo! Alright, so let me just take a breath and not be in a cranky mood because I'm bringing out three of my friends that I've been accused of being mean to on the program. And I want to try to make it all right. So please give a big warm welcome to Dustin Ibarra, Jacob Searoff, and Jeff Tate. Thank you. All right, nobody wins the Pete Holmes Awards. That's a terrific way to start the program.

Let's meet them individually. Justin Ibarra, everybody. Hey, guys. Whoa. I'm Justin Ibarra. I can be annoying at times. Dusty Barra is my nickname for you. I like it. It's very show

busy. I came up with a nickname for the guest that doesn't have a nickname yet. I'm excited about it. Yeah, we'll get to you in a second. But Dustin was on the show in San Diego. We had such a good time. So much fun. And you're ready tonight with a bag full of something.

Doug, I am very prepared. All right. As a lot of us know, it's I am very prepared. All right. As a lot of us know, it's Black History Month, okay? Right, February, shortest month of the year. Whoop, whoop. And this is a very white audience,

so I felt like, you know, let's bring it up. It's Black History Month. Get with it, fellas. I got radio. Come on, Black History Month, you racist bastards. Come on! Black History Month, you racist bastards! Come on!

All right, I got that. OJ, yes, you are correct, sir. This is OJ Simpson and Ed Harris. He got a few... It was during the concussion periods. The bills. All right, and snakes on a plane. You know, cause Samuel

L. Jackson, as we all know. Yes, he's black. I get where you're going. Okay. And, alright, 27 dresses. Katherine Heigl likes black dick. Bam! Big black

cock. Yep, that's, yeah, yeah, so so Trying to keep it risque Cause it's a late night show You're right Dick Giss Shit Fuck

Yeah How many How many dresses Did you get through Me Yeah watching it I haven't even seen Did you see all 27 dresses

You didn't see You saw zero dresses Is that what it's even about Like did she just try And dress as the whole fucking movie? Yes. She's like a Ross or some shit? How do I look?

Eh, how do I look? Eh, how do I? Then the 27th one is like, it's perfect. Yep, it takes place in a Ross. Well, not everyone's fancy, Doug. She's wedding dressing for less. See, now this is the kind of interplay that people accuse me of being short with my guests,

but I'm just trying to have fun. Insults are fun. Insults are fun, guys. Yeah. Pass that shit down here. Great job, Dustin. Oh, yeah, here you go. Yeahults are fun, guys. Yeah. Pass that shit down here. Great job, Dustin. Oh, yeah, here you go. Yeah, let me get this one.

Yeah, great prizes, man. Thanks, Doug. You really thought it through. I really love the black history theme. It's terrific. And let's move down the line to our friend, Jacob Seroff, everybody. Hey, what's up?

Jacob is here with what looks like an art project or something in here it's a very flat offering like geometrically speaking all right I got this cool dead this Deadpool poster that they gave out at the IMAX showing at Universal it's kind of like a cool glossy and then on the way you saw it at real IMAX I saw it at real IMAX showing at Universal. It's kind of like a cool glossy. You saw it at real IMAX? I saw it at real IMAX, and it's actually signed by Ryan Reynolds. Wait, it just says Ryan Reynolds on it with an exclamation point,

which I doubt is how he signs his name. That would be pretty awesome though if a celebrity signed their name with an exclamation point. I think it's worth more money. I know Clay Corn does, but what about seeing it on the Deadpool on the gigantic screen? I know Clay does but what about What about seeing it on the Deadpool on the gigantic screen like do you have you seen it on a regular-sized screen since no I haven't I wanted almost but you liked it though, right? I thought it was great. I like Colossus

I thought Colossus Colossus is bullshit. So I'm horny so corny Everything else is a hundred percent awesome But like that, you know And I give them a little bit of credit for saying in the opening titles that they have a CGI character like almost like wink wink you know we have to have one and the answer is no you don't have to have one if Deadpool 2 doesn't have a CGI character I would be absolutely he was just a poorly acted character like I just didn't buy any of it like the't buy any of it. Like the accent

and any of it. But the second time I saw it, he grew on me a little bit more. Like there was a couple he has a couple pretty good lines. But yeah, there's just something about What a country or something? Yeah, he says what a country. And then he says I gotta go. I have two shows tonight

in Branson. What a... While you were watching it, did you think I'm watching I gotta go. I have two shows tonight in Branson. What, uh... Oh, so I also got... But while you were watching it, did you think, I'm watching this in IMAX, and this is the way to watch this movie? It's meant to be this huge? No, absolutely not. None of it was actually shot with IMAX cameras,

if those of you who saw it know that. But it was still, uh... It's still your first choice of the way to see it. It's an optimum way to see a movie, just like the sound, and it is bigger than the average screen, so look, it's the biggest you can see it, so why not? It's an optimum way to see a movie, just like the sound. And it is bigger than the average screen. So it's the biggest you can see it. So why not? But what if it was like, you know, just some...

And universally, actually, the parking, if that's a deterrent, I don't know if we have any other Jews in the audience. Oh, let's talk about it. Yeah. The parking fee for me was a big deterrent. And I didn't realize they actually reimburse you. It's 18 bucks. The theater gives you back 13 towards your tickets.

So it's only five bucks to park there. So don't let that scare you away from the IMAX, guys. I'll tell you what about Los Angeles people in general. Who paid five bucks to park tonight? One person? When'd you get here? Like 10 minutes ago? That's why you had to pay to park.

Yeah, but you know what I mean? Like LA is like not about paying to park. You know, like we will fucking drive around That circle Oh, you know, the shows in West Hollywood? Well, I'm walking from Silver Lake Because I found a sweet-ass spot I'll drive to a neighboring, like, an adjacent neighborhood

And Uber the rest of the way Absolutely, the old Uber over I love it Also, I got a What else did you bring? I got a pack of Garbage Pail Kids here Uber the rest of the way. Absolutely. The old Uber over. I love it. What else did you bring? We got a pack of Garbage Pail Kids here for 2015. A little pack of the bubble gum cards. Is there bubble gum in there? I don't think they ever had bubble gum.

I don't think they had bubble gum. The Garbage Pail Kids. I'm not sure they ever did. Also, this is just special on the way out tonight. My 11-year-old daughter, Winter, made this original... Your daughter drew a Douglas movies? Just out of her own idea to do that. So I thought that was kind of... It's super

accurate. Yeah, it was freehand. Totally freehand. Yeah, she nailed it. Yeah, she's like a savant or something. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. What did you say she was? She's like 22? That's not so good. Bubbles? Bubbles. Because they That's not so good. Bubbles? Bubbles. Because they're fun.

They are. Pass them over. Thanks for all of that. Thank Ryan Reynolds. He's a real hero here. Wow, Colossus is... Best opening credits, though. The actual jokes in the credits, right? Yeah, it was fun.

Gratuitous cameo. I couldn't sum up what's been happening for years with Stan Lee. I could not sum it up better. But now he's come into a new age where, like, in Guardians and in this movie, his cameo is pretty funny

because it's, you know, he's just some fucking pervert hanging around. He should be always in the, every time, I don't know how often there's going to be a strip club scene, but he should be a perv every time

from now on. Jeff Tate is here, everybody! Hey! The best fill-in I could think of for... I wanted to have an immediate San Diego reunion show with Dustin and Jake Jake and Sam the Ma'am Levine. But Sam is in Florida, I think, at an autograph convention. So I should have just said, Sam Levine is on assignment.

But so in his place, Jeff is here because Jeff is one of the more serious and accomplished game players. No texting during the show. Thank you very much. He is here in town to just hang out and do this show and some other shows and be the next best thing to Sam Levine. Okay. Is that my new nickname? It's a little wordy, but... No, I wrote down your new nickname.

Thank you for reminding me. And it is... Drumroll. I love that people always just start smacking their own legs when you say drumroll. Was this domestic abuse? No, I was at a show and a guy said drumroll. Oh, your new nickname is

Tater Dunn. Oh, man. Is it too late to say I like the next best thing to Sam Levine better? What'd you bring for the prize bag, Tater Dunn? I brought a T-shirt from my

friend Mishka Shubali. He's a singer and he makes great songs and albums. And I got one of his t-shirts. It's got a fucking sweet octopus on it. It's a lady shirt. So keep that in mind. Keep that in mind, dudes. And I brought...

Lay down. Don't even try to win. I brought Inherent Vice. I brought the book. What? It's a book of Inherent Vice? Yeah, yeah. What's the bookmark in there for? That's where I decided I was never going to get it. You got about

halfway through. The bookmark is just in it. You got about 20 pages in. No, it's just a... You just gave up on it. No, I read the whole book. Oh. I watched a movie, didn't understand it, read the book, thought that would help, it didn't.

Then I watched the movie again, thinking that maybe because I'd read the book, I would understand the movie again. Didn't, and now I'm tired of looking at that in my house. Does it have pictures? No, I just, I'll see the book and be like, that fucking book. It's just this thing on my desk that reminds me I'm dumb. I put it next to my wedding ring. Tater Don Oh and since it's LA

I guess you can have the bag Oh there's more Oh what? You can have the bag too You can have the bag? Oh that's good Yeah we gotta conserve I don't know

I don't know if they'll need that bag No it's not good Everything's gonna fit Into the not safe Yeah, we gotta conserve. I don't know if they'll need that bag. No, it's not good. Everything's gonna fit into the Not Safe with Nikki Glaser backpack. And thanks for bringing all this stuff, you guys. All of this is gonna be somebody's tonight. But before we get into the game portion of the show, I have to ask everybody, starting with Dustin.

Dusty Barra. Dusty Barra. Dusty Barra. What was the last movie you saw? Deadpool. Yeah, it was the last one I saw. I loved it. It was awesome. It's great, right? Yeah. Took my girlfriend to it, and she liked it, so that's always good, you know?

Was the screen big enough? The screen was big enough. It's not always the size of the screen, either. It's the motion in the ocean. No, I'm just kidding. No, it was awesome. I loved it.

I had a lot of dick jokes. I had fart jokes. You look even more tonight than the last time you were on the show. You look like you just came from touching a Tesla ball. Can you pat it down a little bit? Dude, now you're making it worse!

Is it distracting everyone right now? This is why people are Why is Doug people are much more distracted by your voice and by your hair now that you bring it up? It's insane. I'm also doing this for Black History Month. It's fun, too, though.

All of it's for Black History Month. That's why I'm here, guys. You have the look of somebody who should constantly be like, this is for a part. It has been. He's doing great. He's cast all the time.

They're like, get the hair guy. Who's that fucking weirdo? I'll never remember his name. Someone called Dustin. Yeah, fucking guy. Tesla. Dusty Bear. That's his name, right?

Who's that guy that laughs after things that he says in a fucking scary Ray Liotta laugh? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Get that guy. Hey, was that story about being on Hop with Chelsea lately, was that just between us, or can you tell it? Yeah, I guess we can tell it, sure.

He was a Chelsea handler. Yeah, this was like when I first got to Hollywood. And I got a part in that movie Hop. I was like a mailroom guy. And yeah, I was Cody, the mailroom guy. See? She knows. She's got kids or is a fucking weirdo.

That's my crowd. Watching Hop. I thought it was a heroin story. I didn't realize. It was nothing. It was just like, during the scene, I touched her.

And after this scene, because it was like your improv, you're like, oh, hey, Mrs. So-and-so. He just reached out and touched her like her wrist or something. Don't you ever fucking touch me again. I was like,

ah, I'm in trouble. That's brutal. And you're terrible at telling that story. So did you ever go on the show? You were like, and then she said I didn't think it was that great. You were like, she said, don't you ever touch me again.

I was like, no, not what you were like. Let everybody rest on the idea that she just said, don't ever fucking touch me again. Just because after you just gave her a gentle tap during a scene as two actors. Yeah, I was trying to connect. This is why nobody should do improv.

You were physically connecting with her, and she was like, don't put your dick on my forehead again. Man, if it was Daniel Day-Lewis' dick on her forehead, it'd be cool, you know? For some reason, Dusty Bear can't get a shake in Hollytown. Real quick, let me check in with Jeff Tate. Do you know who he was referring to

when he said Daniel Day-Lewis? Yes, I know who Daniel Day-Lewis is now. I also feel like I've heard some things where they don't necessarily have to be as big as Daniel Day-Lewis to put their dick on her forehead. I'm pretty sure... It sounds like Jeff is only... We can only hear him because we're sitting right next to him.

Is your mic... Yeah, there's something going on. I don't think his mic's happening. It's low. It's his mic's low. Can we adjust for Jeff? Yeah. I want the listeners to be able to hear jeff oh yeah i've said like if this is the first time you're hearing me listeners i have been killing it i've said some hilarious shit uh i'm glad that last thing i said before

probably wasn't picked up uh but whatever i mean maybe the mic cuts out selectively based on humor quality. Yeah, Ryan, the producer, perhaps this mic cuts out selectively. Like when I said that thing earlier, maybe something just drops on accident and no one knows. I thought Hop was a cartoon.

Why did you touch her? Dude, animation's a weird thing. No, Hop is the fucking bunny, but everybody else is live action. Russell Brand is the voice of a rabbit. I haven't seen it, but I have friends with kids. Jacob, did you have to?

No, I think their mom handled that one. I do the ones I want to do. Is that how you split custody? With movies? So you take them to James Bond and Star Wars and she takes them to kids movies? No, there's a lot of shit I want to see. I'll handle Paddington or the stuff that's getting good reviews.

Everybody loves Paddington. Paddington was amazing. Did you guys see Paddington? Anybody attest to that? No, there's no reason to attest to it, but it's not for adults. Oh, it's totally for adults. It's like an auteur film. What is an auteur film?

Well, the same writer-director, the guy who wrote... It wasn't like a movie, because I got to see shit like Smurfs 2 with like 25 writers. People say I mean to you, and you sit here talking about Hop like it's a fucking great movie. I didn't see Hop. I was in Paddington. Paddington's amazing.

I'm telling you, you love Hop. What is an auteur movie? Do what I say. Is an auteur movie a movie that was written and directed by one person? Yeah, kind of the idea. Paddington is like, it is a... It's one guy's vision of film. The guy did definitely have a vision, and a lot of people liked it,

but I still watch it when it's still about a talking bear riding a bathtub down the stairs. Like, I still don't necessarily see what's so clever or witty about it. He just took an old kid's book and made it into a movie. He's not fucking Tarantino. That's the only person I could think of who has written and directed the same movie. Jeff, he did a good job. Just trust us. It's just not for me.

Marmalade sales went through the roof. You know more about Paddington than you're letting on, Jeff. I read the books when I was a child. They even sold a lot more copies of the single lady Marmalade. What was the last movie you saw, Jeff? I saw Deadpool also on a regular size screen seemed dumb i should check out this giant screen maybe it's better yeah you have to like wear your glasses i loved it the last movie i saw was the martian i watched the martian on the flight here yeah and holy shit that movie's good and that should be that should win the Oscar. Matt Damon is hands down the best actor of last year.

I think there is no chance. Leonardo DiCaprio, they're saying he should win the Oscar, but he just acted cold in snow. It was cold. That's not acting. Oh, you seem miserable. You think he also acted injured And acted like Someone close to him was murdered

Dude I read the script There was never supposed to be a bear That was a real bear That was improv A bear ran in A bear just marauded They were like keep rolling Our lead actor is being attacked by a bear

Let's get this Rewrite the entire movie We got a great storyline now It was a real bear. Our lead actor is being attacked by a bear. Let's get this. Rewrite the entire movie. We got a great storyline now. It was an auteur film. It used to be about a guy and his son just traipsing through the winter woods. I think he said to the bear, never fucking touch me again.

After they shot that thing. Here's what I'm saying. I don't think what you're saying matters. Leonardo DiCaprio was walking around in the snow, and yeah, that sounds terrible, but he was really doing it, and I believed it. But Matt Damon was not on Mars. Where was he? Yes.

He was not on Mars, and I believed he was. But his performance was so Mars-like. Yeah, I believe. It was so, you were captivated by how realistically he portrayed a guy being on Mars. And he realistically portrayed a guy who had been injured also. So he had the same, he had injury like Leonardo DiCaprio, but he wasn't on Mars. He was injured like Leonardo. Did he buy a zoo?

No, that's a different movie. I was in there. We bought a zoo just sounds like a gentle way of telling the family you're all about to die. Are there? My granddad bought the zoo a couple years ago.

There is hardly a finer actor out there than Matt Damon, but what he does in The Martian is fucking easy for him, and what Leo did in The Revenant was very difficult for him. Yeah. There's a very strong difference between, like, in another year, maybe, but also The Martian is is also according to the golden globes a comedy it was very funny it was very funny how often do you think you laughed in your seat on the plane watching oh man i was this was the weirdest flight because the two people

next to me the lady no no yeah they were No, no. Yeah, they were very, they were like, really? There's like 50 movies you could choose from. You have to. You were sitting next to Jeff Daniels and Kristen Wiig. Yeah, it was pretty awesome. Judging their film. Couldn't,

wasn't allowed to touch them, so I had to be like real cramped in my seat. The lady next to me, this is the first time I've ever seen anybody do this. She listened to the music on the Delta Entertainment thing

and put it on kids bop and then sang along out loud loud enough for me to hear while the Martian was happening so then whatever that disco songs will play I would sing it go back and forth we were having when you sang, she didn't, like, get the hint that, like, it was weird that she was singing? She probably couldn't hear me over her singing. Kids bop.

She was listening to children sing Taylor Swift songs and singing along. I got a worse one. Yeah? Yeah. In my case, it was on a plane where at least you had headphones on, you could turn the Martian up really loud. Yeah.

I had no headphone option, I guess, other than my own, I guess. But the point is, I sat two rows from a mother and son who took turns reading to each other chapters from Chronicles of Narnia. And every time, I could not shoot them a dirty enough look to get them to fucking even acknowledge that what they were doing

was weird. Just making everyone around you Hey everybody, listen to this book for the whole flight. These kids find a closet they walk through the closet another and narnia jesus okay i know it leads to a closet i'm not sure what a like a big armoire jacob you don't like any time remember one time i had a conversation with the lady next to me across the aisle. You didn't like that.

The worst. You don't like any talking on the plane. No, but what was your... If you're listening to something that's got... You know, like if you're in a movie theater and you bought a ticket for a movie and a conversation broke out right next to you, you'd be like, fuck you! But on a plane, somehow it's like, no, don't worry about me. I'm just trying to listen to a goddamn movie while you're small-talking

it up over there. Was it that he was talking, or was he trying to convince her the prequels were good? Well, yeah, it was a combo of talking and also the comments, the specific content. No, I mean, it's fine. It's just, you know, everybody has a different...

My worst, I'd rather Jacob talk to somebody than sitting next to two people that are just meeting for the first time and both have the most fucking boring jobs you could imagine and tell each other about it like that drives me crazy because you can't there's no headsets that turn up loud enough to just shut it completely out no you can see it in your peripheral, man. Like, ah, these fuckers. You can see their lips moving. Yeah, you can't. You just know they're kind of bullshit. How can you around that hair?

Damn it, Doug! I always get excited when I have someone to talk to because I can't read, I can't sleep, so usually I'm not paying enough money to watch the movie. Wouldn't that be terrible if you were a person who really couldn't read or sleep? What kind of life would that be? Hello, vampire.

I don't do much of either in real life. Hello, mentally disabled man. How Floyd Mayweather of vampires. Who needs to read when you can kick the fuck out of someone? Mine was... Seriously, right? Don't read! Wait. Nerds!

Nerds! Hang on. You haven't answered the question yet? It was Deadpool and we talked about it already. Everyone watched Deadpool. It was a really big screen. It was really... You should have been there, Jeff.

Yeah, I know. I probably would have liked it more. I guess his face was super ugly on that big screen. I thought it was really cool. I just didn't... I guess one more complaint. She was too old to be playing the, you know, a viable... Too old, you guys.

I mean, just someone who knows... Someone who's familiar with the industry. Get ready for the feminazis, motherfucker. They're coming after you now. Like, that's what's charming about it is she's age-appropriate. Well, for him, but not for the job that she was doing, I didn't think.

What job was she doing? Like, she was a hooker. Oh, hookers are old, bro. I got a really old hooker one time. Fuck it. Bro, there's no age limit. Hookers are old, bro! Bro!

Hookers are old ass hookers, bro! She's a good hooker. Like, oh man, if she was a hooker, she's a man. Marina Baccarin? No, she's hot. That lady was in Homeland. Yeah? That lady was a hooker?

That's not even Mr. Skin. That's me. I just know that. I watched V for no reason. I just know that shit, bro. That's not even Mr. Skin. That's like, I just know that i watched b for no reason i just know that that's not even mr skin that's like i could i just whether you got it from him or just know either way you know that because i watched it and i remember knowing you watched it because you ever see man she's hot she's very attractive lady it's awesome nice but she played a hooker on uh firefly so and firefly

and that was more like a bio that was more age-appropriate hookerism. How old are hookers? I got typecast as a sci-fi hooker. I saw her one time at the airport in Austin. She was in town for a South by Southwest. To be a hooker? I wanted to talk to her.

A lot of hookers fly in during South by. She was beautiful in person and everything, but I just didn't... I like Homeland, because it just seems like a dumb thing to say. Because she would know you've seen her naked. That's why if I went up to her and said,

hey, I saw you in Homeland, she would know. The only reason is because... But I saw you in Deadpool. It's still saying you saw quite a bit. Was she naked in Deadpool? Oh, she doesn't... I didn't even notice it, because I you saw quite a bitch she's notice exactly sorry naked girlfriend now we talk about old news before we move on from that was good news for your girlfriend I don't look anymore I'm just kidding I love you baby can we talk about his dick in the movie no there was a lot of dead pool in that movie. There was a lot of Deadpool dick. Yeah, they fought with their dicks out and shit.

Dicks out and shit. What am I saying? I think you see his dick briefly, yeah. Well, if you see it in IMAX. That's the selling point. Bigger dick. More dick over here. Don't go to those nine other screens

we're showing it on in this same building. Dude, the poster says size matters. Oh, dude, posters say all kinds of stuff. That one says bilsters. Like, you don't have to know. Like, people just put stuff on posters. It, you don't have to know. Like, people just put stuff

on posters. It doesn't even have to make sense. Well, that's funny that you should mention one of the name tags because it's the time

in the show when I say, let the games begin! So, pick a name tag, you guys. Just go physically grab one and while you do that, we'll do guys. Just go physically grab one.

And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody. Today's episode is brought to you in part by Squarespace. Building a website can be tough. And even if you do know your way around coding, creating something that looks good and works well is a time-consuming affair. Whether it's for a business

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We're back. Who are you playing for, Dustin? Well, Doug, I'm playing for Miss Nick Pizza. Miss Nick Pizza. Yeah, it's got your face. It's 40 minutes old, I'm told. Yeah, because I asked him. And this was the, I always look for food in the audience. And this is 40 minutes old. And it's really i asked him and this was the i always look for food

in the audience and this is 40 minutes old and it's really cold i'm pretty sure he's what flavor is it nick cheese my favorite do you want to have a bite yeah i do want to watch it oh hang on it's cold right 40 minutes cold It's cold, right? 40 minutes cold. That's perfect for pizza. You know, pizza. Are you kidding me?

I'm not going to be like, how long is... When you were asking him, I was like, he's still going to take the pizza. Damn it, why? Oh, yeah, I knew it too. There's also, like, not a lot of name tags To choose from Because this is a

Friday night crowd They got other places to go They've got improv shows To go to Can't walk around With a goddamn name tag I know right Jeff who are you playing for

I'm playing for Someone named Nick as well Inceptionick He just put his name At the end of the word Inception It's a crap name tag But there was a pot brownie on it. So I'm playing for pot brownie.

He was to the left. What kind of pot brownie, Nick? Did you eat it already? No, it's in my pocket. It's a pot brownie with white chocolate on it. White chocolate chips. 420 yummies, it says. Do you know if it's a sativa or indica pot?

It's a sativa. A sativa? All right. I can tell you this. I won't know. I never know. People are like, this is indica. It gives you a real mellow. And this is sativa. And I'm just

like, oh, I'm stoned. And then I fall asleep. How much of it should he eat? Like just half? What? How much does he smoke? What are you? Are you really going to put that information into some sort of equation? Also, Doug, I'm probably going to eat the whole thing.

He smokes. I'll eat the whole thing and text you and be like, I should have ate half. If you smoke enough, anything becomes an indica, to be honest. You know, if you smoke enough of sativa, it's like, I'm going to fucking knock out. Is sativa the one that is not supposed to make you fall asleep? Yeah, you're going to be bouncing off the walls.

Now it's like you're a little less fucking dead, you know? Yeah, I'm just stoned, and it's fucking rad to be stoned. And I don't care if it's the sativa or the indica. I'm old, so I forget that it's not just called pot anymore. It used to just be pot. You'd be like, can I get some pot? And then they didn't have a fucking menu.

Green bud and brown bud. It's 50 for a quarter. Oh, never mind then. Who are you playing for, Jacob? I'm playing for somebody too cheap to buy me a fucking snack, first of all. I bet everybody else got food. What the fuck, girlfriend?

I'm playing for Captain Amberica. I'm assuming your name is Amb. I thought that was actually going to get a bigger laugh. I wrote it while you guys were talking about Pod Brownies. It's a very well done project. Yeah, it's a nice shield.

Captain America shield. And a note to anyone named Erica that Captain America, you wouldn't have to change shit. A note to anyone named Nick, Inception does not work with your name. How about Nick of Time?

Nick of Time would be perfect. You didn't point out also that there's like a weird Hitchcock spin on it. It's not even like art that has to do with the art from the film. No, it's one of the posters

from the movie. Oh, was it? Yeah, don't close that pizza yet. Oh, man. The audience didn't know that's my third slice. Dude, right? Goddamn, good job, guy.

It could have been 50 minutes old. I'd have taken it. Really good, man. I don't know where you're going. It's fucking good. You have the box. Just look at the box. It'll tell you where he got it. It's that generic pizza box.

Like, oh, I'm an Italian guy. You know those racist pizza boxes? This is one of those racist asses. Like, hey, I got my Italian guy. You know those racist pizza boxes? This is one of those racist ass like, hey, I got my gooey. It's got some peppers and some onions and, you know. Here's a pizza box. It is a weird list of ingredients on the top that's like, Yeah, what the fuck?

It's garlic, it's cheese. Wow, weird. I know. I didn't know where I was going with that one. Fucked up ingredients, man. Yeah, what's up? You got fucking cheese? Well, those aren't the two I would have used as my examples.

You're right. They're still... Yeah. I wonder now if Dusty Barra here ever had pizza before. Not 50 minutes old. That's for damn sure. He sure looks like

he's had pizza before. Jacob, did you just do a fucking fat joke at UCB? Did you do a fat joke at UCB, you old comic motherfucker? Did you do a fucking fat joke at UCB? Did you do a fat joke at UCB, you alt-comic motherfucker? Did you act... I'm a club hack, that's why they don't know who I am.

Let me eat my pea shell. Oh my god, this is a bloodbath, everybody! Doug doesn't have to be mean to us, we can handle that ourselves. Billster, give me your name tag. Thank you. That's who I'm playing for. Oh, snap! That's right, everybody.

Welcome to the first ever Last Man Stanton Tournament. I'm going to play for Bilster. Ghost Bilster. He put a nice little marshmallow man. Something strange. I did not expect to hear Ray Parker Jr. I was like, the Marshmallow Man finally gets a chance to speak.

Gets to say what's on his mind. And he just sings a song from the movie. Something strange. This does the same thing every time. Take it back, Bilster. Just kidding. It's mine. But it's a good poster.

He put my face on the Ghostbuster ghost. And it's got a looks like a nice blunt in my hand. So, I'm going to play for Bilster. We're going to play first person to two points amongst the four of us. And you get a point by winning a round of Last Man Standing.

Wow. We could be here for a while. It's just settling in with some of you. Oh, this might. Why would this go quickly? Never know. Somebody could win the first two and be over. Because the first round is going to be determined by an audience member that I've

pre-selected. And then the winner of that round gets to name the actor or actress for the next round. Yeah. So you get a big advantage there. And then we'll switch the order around as well.

My stomach is hurting. Just the tense, like the suspense. You don't think it's the pizza? Okay. It's a combination of all the three, two, whatever. All right, Dustin. We're gonna start with you then. Are those Tums?

You'll get to say the first one. What are you doing? What's happening? She's throwing me some Tums. She, an audience member just gave you Tums. Good toss, good catch. So my contestant is giving the other guest snacks now. I feel like I need to eat more than anyone on the stage. You should be helping the other players.

You should let him have that stomach ache. I do. Because I eat like shit. But it's alright. Thanks for the Tums. You like that shit? You gonna keep the rest of them? I guess I should give them back, huh?

You know I'm gonna get it like two hours later when I eat some shitty shit on the way home. Can he save those for later or would you like them back? I know you want them. She's like, he can keep them, but that means give them back. Thank you.

We did the right thing here. I'm going to sleep good tonight. All right, so Dustin's going to go first, then Jeff, then Jacob, then me. Okay. And we're going to do an actor chosen by someone in the audience that tweeted at me today who goes by the name WDouglas37. Where you at?

It's fucking... Oh my God! It's Amber America's fucking boyfriend. Bilster. Husband. It's Bilster. I'm Amber America's fucking boyfriend. Billster.

Husband. It's Billster. This is, the ethics are just all over the place. Yeah, oh my God, your wife just hooked me up with some Tums. Oh, so the W is for William, Bill. Oh, everything's coming together. All right, so what would you like to suggest for this first round that will start with Dustin? Denzel Washington.

Denzel. We've done him on the show before, once or twice, but always a great name. Is this also for Black History Month? And a great challenge. All right. Well, Bilster, of course, is a fan of black actors. Yeah. Who's your second favorite black actor? Ernie Hudson. Ernie Hudson. He said that without hesitation.

He is a guy who loves black actors. You should be in the Academy the more we get nominated. Ernie Hudson. Alright, Dustin. Any movie with Denzel Washington, go. Let's go with Black History Month, Malcolm X. Okay. Golf clap. Probably need to bring the enthusiasm down a little bit.

You're right. Oh, my gosh. As Jeff Bush will tell you, this is a marathon, not a sprint. He's going to get there eventually. He says to people as he hands them a little turtle. I'm not kidding. It's a true thing. Jeff. Man on fire.

Yes. Jeff loves Man on Fire because it is a Ridley, I mean a Tony Scott movie. Tony Scott joint. And he and Denzel have worked together many times. Or four or five times. I'll go with... No, you would skip Jacob.

I wasn't going to go with a Tony Scott movie. I was going to go with Mo' Better Blues. Mo' Better Blues, of course, another great Tony Scott movie. I'll go, I was going to say Deja Vu. Yeah. Some people say.

But not a majority. Dustin? The Equalizer. Yeah! Yeah, they're making a sequel about that. I'm so excited because he killed a bunch of guys in the tool aisle. Now I'd like to see him maybe move over to the caulking section. Right? Caulk some motherfuckers.

He works at a Bed Bath & Beyond in the sequel. And he just smothers people. A lot of smothering. Yeah. Hypoallergenic pillows. Just chokes them to death. Crimson Tide. Crimson Tide. Of course. Jacob. Sure.

He got game. He sure do. Oh, you guys. Do you remember the Titans? Those two? Philadelphia. Yes. You always go for the AIDS joke.

That's me, man. That's me. So easy. AIDS history month is next month, dude. March of AIDS. Devil in a blue dress. Yes. With

Don Cheadle as a mouse. I'll go with Glory. Yeah. Of course. Academy Award winner for that I believe I feel like I'm new at this I feel like today is my

Training day This is a fun game to try to make it a sentence. Dude, American Hustle? Yep. No, that's not right. That's not right. American, oh, shit. You're out.

Jeff. Oh, man. You don't have to do it. No, I'm not using a lifeline. I just worked out a cool sentence. That reminds me, and thank you. You guys know we each have a lifeline, right? Yeah, that's okay. The person that you're playing for,

you can go to them if you need to. You'll be back. American Gangster. That's what it's called. Oh, that's kind of like what I said. Yep, that's what happens. Fuck. Sorry about that.

If I lose on Denzel Washington, I'm going to cry freedom. Oh. Oh man. How about, let's go with just every one of his movies is the same. It's like they're all a carbon copy. Like three times I thought you were stuck. I fell for that like three times in a row.

I was, kind of. Pelican Brief. Pelican Brief. Pelican Brief. I'm going to go with his best. Not brief enough. His best movie, Virtuosity. The what? Virtuosity.

Virtuosity is his best movie? Everybody knows that. It's like the prequel to Man on Fire. You know I mean like shitty prequels. I feel like if we say a Wesley Snipes movie that should count too. Right? Like I said. One! One!

One! That's what we're playing in this round of Last Man Stanton. Black guys. I'm sorry. That's how... I'm sorry, it's your turn. I'll stop. I need to be more Pelham. The upper reachers, a wife.

Jeff. Oh, the taking of Pelham one two three Jacob yeah a couple of titles here I want to make sure yeah just go ahead and pick one and say it out loud make sure it's the right thing to say. Say it right. Spit it out. I don't wanna fuck up the title of this one. Do it. Two Guns. Yes.

Yes, Two Guns. I knew as you were thinking about it that you were unstoppable. Jeff. The inside man. Ah, yes. Inside man. Jay Kolb. Ah yes! Sideman. Jacob.

I just don't want to fuck up this title. I got a specific movie in my head. You can do it. I know. Just say it. Is it called John Q? Yeah. Yeah.

Could have easily been called John Doe. But they went with Q. I thought that maybe it had the public on the end of it, but I wasn't sure. But as long as we're naming names, let me do a quick roll call. Is Antoine Fisher here. Dustin had no idea he'd be sitting out

for 20 minutes. I lost quick, man. I thought of like seven now, too. That was Morgan Freeman. I don't think he That was Morgan Freeman That's Morgan Freeman That was some good ass cleverness The uh Jeff The hurricane Jeff. The Hurricane.

Yeah, The Hurricane. Nice. I don't think I would have come up with that one. The old Hurricane. Popular drink in New Orleans. Jake, Jake. Pretty sure he was in Crooklyn. Crooklyn? Was he not?

I don't think so. No, I don't think he was in Crooklyn. Was he not? No. Everyone turns on Jacob. Do we know he's not in Crooklyn? You're out. Sorry about that. Do we know for sure he's not in Crooklyn?

Yeah, because no one's going, he's in Kirkland. Has anyone seen? No one is defending that stance. He's not in. He didn't. That was Delroy Lindo, you racist. I'm Black History Month, too. What the fuck, man?

I think I'm stumped, though. Do you have another one, Jim? Yeah, I got some more. Some more? Yeah. Oh, mother. That's impressive. Oh, shit.

He was also in. Come to me, Denzel. We can do this together. Please, Denzel. Bilster, he's got nothing. Really? Oh. Fucking Bilster let me down.

Should I say the one thing? Hang on. Let me give it one more moment. But yeah, I would pressure people to move on if it wasn't me. So I got to be fair about this. But I'm just going to say this one thing right now and that is fuck Jeff one more to steal the deal one more Jeff the siegege, of course. What else? What else? The Great Debaters. The Mighty Quinn.

The Great Debaters. Mighty Quinn. Yeah. Hey, I didn't ask you yet. Okay. Flight. Fallen. Book of Eli, of course.

I like that book. Book of Eli. The Bone Collector. Machado About Nothing. What? Machado About Nothing. Machado About Nothing, yeah. I didn't know. Book of Eli. The Bone Collector. Much Ado About Nothing. What? Much Ado About Nothing. Much Ado About Nothing, yeah. Is that Washington was in that?

We got a Shakespeare fan over there. Oh, Keanu Reeves was too, right? Much Ado About... We got to watch Much Ado About Nothing again. That's hilarious. You've seen it once? We did pretty good, but wait. Where's another one?

What? Manchurian Candidate. Manchurian Candidate. Manchurian Candidate. But there's a lady voice up there. Oh, I was just saying the Golden Globes. You were saying the Golden Globes? I know shows he's been at. Because he did. He just got the

Lifetime Achievement Award and he got up there and he didn't have his speech on him, so he said, thanks, and walked away. He's like, I can't find my speech. He pulled an Eddie Murphy. You just gotta go to his Tumblr page. All right, Jeff, you won the first round. Congratulations.

Congratulations. round. Congratulations. That means, Jeff, that you get to pick the person that we're going to play in this next round and you go first and then we go to Dustin and then to me and then to Jacob. And don't forget about your

lifeline. Each round you get a lifeline again. I messed up. I didn't use mine last time. Well, you spit out a wrong title and, you know, that happens sometimes. To dummies. We get excited. Sometimes our brains

get ahead of our hair. I don't know what that means. Jeff, what actor or actress have you always wanted us to play because you'd be so damn good at it? I just like to play the ones that are fun that you can do a long time like Denzel. I'm going to say Harrison Ford.

Harrison Ford. Here we go. It's been played before for sure, but I love it. I'm very excited about it. Start us off, Jeff Tate. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Okay.

Oh, that was mine. Whoa. I guess I got go on a backup. The Fugitive. What happened? I said the right thing. I sounded like there was several words before The Fugitive. But there was a period.

Let's start over. The Fugitive. The Fugitive, yes. I thought you said something like The Madman, The Fugitive or something. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about all right I'm gonna go with let's say Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Ooh. Hang on, I still am writing D-O-O-M. Last Cruce-Aids. Jeff.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Oh, that's a ballsy play. Do I block? Yeah, I blocked that out of my memory. The old kingdom, I'd say the land of the shiny head.

Star Wars A New Hope. Thanks, guy. We have an audience. Yeah, that sounds right. Verification. He gave me that. Okay, he's,

all right, I'll let this one slide. You did good that time, Dustin. right. Verification. He gave me that. Okay, he's... All right, I'll let this one slide. You did good that time, Dustin. Good, good job. Good job. You're going to Star Wars A New Hope. What episode? Shut up. That's not...

The guy wants the episode number. It is in the title, I think. Oh, man. I'm numerally... Wait, what's Jacob saying? On IMDb, it has the whole title. But I think that... They have the number?

They have the number. No, we play release. We play the titles that were released under. Well, I don't know if we've ever said released under because these are the only movies in the history of every fucking thing that are released under one title and then gain another title down the road except for maybe live, die, repeat. They actually market Raiders now as Indiana Jones

and the Raiders of the Lost Ark in box sets and stuff. Yeah, box sets. That's a box set. This is like when Dez Bryant caught the fucking ball and no one said he... I'm Dez Bryant right here. I caught the fucking ball. You can look at it a million times over and over. I caught the fucking ball.

Which part was that? I think that was first. Like, if you had to say, what part would you say it was? Four. Good job. Man, I don't know what the Roman numeral is either. I was like, ah, shit. I'm going to go with a movie that there's no sequels and no subtitles

because it just didn't do very well. But I am a huge fan of The Frisco Kid with Gene Wilder. Interesting pair up. Jacob. Apocalypse Now. He shows up for a minute. He does. Very dapper.

That's all that matters. Star Wars Episode 5 The Empire Strikes Back. Okay. I see how you want to play. Where's the colon? God damn it, guys. We're going to do this all night until I win this Harrison Ford round.

Let's not... Let's try to be a little more pelican brief with our choices. I wanted to do that earlier. How you doing, buddy? Blade Runner. Yeah. That's how I'm doing. Yeah, that didn't make sense.

You're doing great. Thanks. All I can say is, can I get a witness? Naked Amish chick in that movie. Oh my God, stop it. No Marina Becker covering, but pretty hot. That voice and this look pointing out every naked girl in any movie that gets brought up is disconcerting.

We haven't even hit Harrison Ford's deep movie shit. Jacob. I'm already feeling a little frantic. Frantic. I like that movie. I don't think they know that Frantic was a movie. I feel like a lot of us have stopped regarding Henry.

Yeah. He did not deserve to be regarded at all. Yeah, and three plus three is six days, seven nights. See, I don't ever go with that one because I'm afraid I'm going to fuck up the days and nights and get it wrong, but that sounds accurate.

Like a much easier title for me to just say and know that I'm getting it correct is Sabrina. Yeah, there's no fucking that one up. How about Star Wars Episode VII, The Force Awakens? Yeah, I mean, does it really ever say Episode VII anywhere? It just says Star Wars Force Awakens.

Well, it says it in the opening crawl. Well, that's true, over the thing. But that's after that said... I almost got him! You saw that, right? I was doing my math. I was like, wait, hang on. Okay, he's right.

Jeff. Star Wars Episode VI Return of the Jedi. Sure. That's him. American Graffiti. So I'm going to go ahead and slam dunk this fucker

with a little American Graffiti now. The sequel. That's not what it's called. It's called More American Graffiti. You're right. You're right. I'm out. It's called More

American Graffiti Now. I was so smug on that one. That's what happens when you smug answer. I didn't get to use the bilster. Do you have another one? Oh yeah. Now he has one. Oh, yeah. Now he's ready to help out. All right.

More American Graffiti. Your turn, Jacob. Is that my turn for getting it right or no? I'll do another one. That would count. That would count. That would count because I said it wrong and then you corrected it. But I'd like to take another one.

No. What do you mean take another one? Take another one next. Okay. Yeah. I just meant so I could take them from you guys. Correct it. No. What do you mean take another one? Say another one next. Okay. Yeah. I just meant so I could take them from you guys. Yeah, I know. I'm bad at strategy. I don't even know if that works. No, it doesn't. Okay. Mosquito Coast.

You want to put a the on there? I'm going to hit a lifeline right now. Wait. What? Jeff, do you want to put a the at the beginning or no? No? I think it's just called Mosquito Coast. You just want to call it Mosquito Coast? Yeah. That's really what you want to do? You really want to look me in the eye

and say it's called Mosquito Coast with no the? I'm going to look you in the eye and I'm gonna say firewall. That's awesome. Dustin, what are you gonna do with that? Well, Doug, I'm in a peculiar position. I know there's a thee. I know he was halfway right but I'll say, hey, Lifeline, what do you think?

Wait, now you used your Lifeline once in this round. I know. This is the one. Yeah. Yeah. I think you could do this without your Lifeline. It's my opinion. That's why, man, I didn't know my dad. He probably would, too. Hang on.

I got this. You're right, Doug. What's it called? Just say it. Dude, I really need a lifeline, a real life. Like, I don't know what it is. Based on what we just discussed, you don't even have a guess.

A 50-50 guess is in your future. Yeah, but why would I? I could get eliminated. I would rather get used as Elvis. You could also say a different Harrison Ford movie. No, he's clearly out. You don't have to say the one I fucked up. I'm clearly out, Jeff.

He's out. All right, go to your lifeline if you want. Lifeline, sir. Lifeline, what do you say? Cowboys and aliens. Cowboys and aliens. Cowboys and aliens. See, I can avoid all that shit.

All right, you avoided it. Good job. You used your lifeline. Oh, you're out, Doug. Jacob, I'm out. I'll go with the Mosquito Coast. The Mosquito Coast is correct. His favorite movie, apparently, that he's made.

What? Jeff? This is Harrison Ford's. Air Force One. Get the fuck off of my plane. With your snakes. Dustin! See what happened there?

I know what this is. I know. Now there's no lifeline. You taught me a lesson. Could have just said the Mosquito Coast. Your lifeline would be over there waiting with a great answer. you taught me a lesson could have just said the mosquito coast but I your lifeline would be over there

waiting with a great answer hang on I know what this is too you're clearly out no dude I really do know this but I'm trying to point it right now

it's not a the you're choosing between like a couple different options no there's just the one but it's a

it's a submarine movie, and I'll say that right now, because if I'm out, I'm out, man. Yeah, why not toss submarine movie to the next players who might not have remembered that one? I know I thought of it earlier and then couldn't remember the exact fucking title.

I know, I want to say U-571, and it's not. It's not U-571. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Harrison Ford's a Russian. Nukes and sobs and shit.

You're out. Jacob? The Devil's Own. The Devil's Own. Wow. With Brad Pitt's. That's an Irish accent he's got in that movie. He does? Brad Pitt does. When I went to see Star Wars

the special edition of New Hope, when it first came out at the Cornette Theater in San Francisco, they were playing the trailer for Devil's Own ahead of it, and every time Harrison Ford came on screen, the crowd went nuts. Every time they showed Brad Pitt's face they booed they did that the whole trailer like the whole two-minute trailer but now we love Brad Pitt I think he was still kind of a joke maybe but I don't know he came out of the gate

pretty good he's won't the Irish accent Harrison Ford didn't have one. Yeah, I know. I said that. Jeff, what do you got? I got Patriot Games. Patriot Games. Oh, nice. This opens up a door. Oh, yeah. Clear of present danger. Yeah.

All right. I'll go Anchorman 2 The Legend Continues. I'll go with Ender's Game. Wow. Wow. This is fucked up. I'll go with Morning Glory.

Oh, boy. That's a nice, nice pull. Jacob's a nice, nice pull. Jacob's taking a drink. What lies beneath? Oh. Oh snap. Random hearts.

With Pfeiffer. What? Random hearts. Random hearts? You guys, quit making shit up. You still got your lifeline, Jacob. I know I do, but I don't know if I need it yet. Don't use it yet if you can.

Not use it. This is exciting. Jeff is going to take this thing down if you don't defeat him. A lot of pressure. It's break point. That's actually not. Dustin, I heard you're going to be in

Indianapolis at Crackers next weekend? Yeah, for Black History Month, you know, of course. Oh, thank you very much. 42. 42! That was good, man. Hey.

In the words of black people everywhere, thanks, y'all. Jeff's got another one. Of course he does. You got any other plugs, Dustin? Battle Creek on Netflix. No. Oh, man. Man, it would be super dope if he was in a movie called Battle Creek or something.

And I could be like, yeah, me too. But I can't. I just thought of another damn one. Another damn? Yeah, another damn answer. You dead? No, I'm not done. What is it?

You got Force 10 from Navarone. That's the one I just thought of. Goddammit, I had that one. That might have been my last one. Oh, I just thought of another one. Hold on. Doesn't matter that I thought of one, but I did. Will not affect the outcome of the game,

but I am excited. It begins with the letter... Presumed innocent. Oh, nice. Paul. Jeff. You guys haven't used your lifelines yet either, but I don't know how good your lifelines are going to be because we've really run through the...

We've named 78 movies. For real? There's still... There's more. We've done at least 40. Yeah, yeah, but we were wasting way too much time having the conversation oh that's extremely

deep that's in the same neck of the woods as apocalypse now that's why I had now in my head when I said American Graffiti more apocalypse now Jacob more apocalypse now Jacob

I know I know I got the lifeline but I don't know do you have one maybe she says she's maybe I don't know if you should even

be allowed to ask that gotta still work out the rules on this thing do you have one no okay let me think Gotta still work out the rules on this thing. Do you have one? No. Okay, let me think. I thought of another one, but it's not... That's all I'm gonna say. Yeah, I'm not gonna...

I'm not gonna send it through brainwaves You don't need another one at this point, Jeff Jacob's about to fall down Do you have one? Yeah, yeah Do you want to go with Amber America? Because she says she might have one

What's your maybe? Did he do a voice in the Lego movie? I don't think he did That was a nice try. So no, I'm not going to use that. Right? I don't have to use it. I don't think that's how it works. Once I go to it, you have to use it. I think you can reject it.

I think we all rejected it, so that's how you rejected it. No, I don't think he was in that. Because they had a... There is someone who's Han Solo, but it's somebody else does the voice.

Okay. It's somebody else. And Morning Glory was, yeah, that was a good, that was a really good one. I never saw that movie. It's entertaining. I enjoyed it.

I'm seriously gonna, I'm gonna wrap this mic cord around your neck. You haven't seen the movie. It's very entertaining. I'm gonna wrap this mic cord around your neck you haven't seen the movie it's very entertaining I'm gonna strangle you for liking that movie

it's entertaining I'm not gonna say very entertaining but it's it's fun I mean I was already paying for Netflix it's on Netflix?

it was when I saw it no it's probably not on there anymore cause was when I saw it. No, it's probably not on there anymore. Because I'd totally check it out. Got anything, Jake? No, I know one, but I'll never think of the title. What? You know it, but you can't think of the title?

I can't describe it. Because then I'll give it away to Jeff. Yeah, Jeff's a piranha. Can I describe it to her? See if she knows the title? No, you guys have already blown it. She gave you nothing. You rejected it.

And so you're all on your own. But I'm excited. I can't believe there's one that you kind of know. No, it's a for sure one. But don't. It's real specific, but I don't know what it's called. You can't take a shot at it? No.

You can't swing at it? Just start saying the words? See what happens? I think it's a one can't take a shot at it no you can't swing at it just start saying the words see what happens it's a one I think it's a one word title oh just one word oh I got one that's one word I got two movies that both begin with the same letter. Wow. It's okay. Can I use your lifeline since you didn't use it? That's the biggest regret of my life.

Is that I didn't get to go to the Bills' turn. I thought I was just like, oh, tonight I'm picking a name tag. That guy's going to win. I knew ahead of time I was going to pick a man because I do not like women. Are you taking this long, Jake, so we can get to midnight?

Okay, anything? All right, Jake's out. What do you got, Jeff? Paranoia. Is that the one when he falls Paranoia Yeah it's got that Hemsworth guy Yeah that's the one The not Thor Hemsworth dude

There's a movie called Crossing Over He's in a movie called Crossing Over He's in a movie called Crossing Over It's about immigration What else That movie is called K-19 title. He's in a movie called Crossing Over? He's in a movie called Crossing Over that's about immigration. What else do you know? That movie is called K-19,

The Widowmaker. The fucking Widowmaker. I knew it was a bunch of letters and numbers. K-19, that threw me off. Is it about a dog or a submarine? In the original script, it was a dog. Jacob, what happens in your one word movie paranoia

some sort of business because I have a one word movie that he did with it starred he was co-star with Dustin Hoffman and Sally Field called Heroes.

Hero. Heroes. I had never heard of it. Not Hero? No, it's a different movie. It was Heroes, I think. And the other movie started with an H? It might have been just Hero, but it was Heroes.

The other movie starts with an H? And the other one starts with an H. How to Train Your Dragon. Hop. Is it Hop? It was one of his duds in between Star Wars and Raiders. It was called Hanover Street. Hanover.

What else did we miss? Hollywood Homicide. Oh, Hollywood Homicide. Two H's. Working Girl. Working Girl, of course. I think he was nominated for an Oscar for Working Girl. Expendables 3.

Expendables 3. Age of Adaline. Popped in there. Age of Adaline. Age of Adaline. That's a movie I couldn't think of the name of it. Star Wars Holiday Special. Star Wars Holiday Special.

I'm a completist. Okay, he was on that one Muppet show episode too. Yeah, yeah. I saw him on Kelly and Michael. Yeah, he was on. I think I saw him on Letterman a few times. Maybe the Tonight Show. He just

directed an episode of Grey's Anatomy. He's standing off behind the cameras on Ally McBeal. What? E.T. E.T.? What? Was he?

Who did he play in E.T.? Well, his girlfriend at the time wrote the movie, but he's in it? He was the principal. He was the principal. Oh, yeah, yeah, in school. That's right. You're right. Was he?

Yeah. Wait, who's Harrison Ford? Somebody just said Apocalypse Now Redux. Oh, Red, in school. That's right. You're right. Was I? Yeah. Wait, who's Harrison Ford? Somebody just said Apocalypse Now Redux. Oh, Redux. Yeah, yeah, Blade Runner, the director's cut. Yeah. You guys are getting crazy specific just to get involved. I think we did a pretty damn good job with Harrison Ford,

but Jeff Tate is our winner, everybody. Please tweet. I am so happy I won, because this dude's shithead is fucking like 50 words long. So you're happy that no one's going to hear it? Yeah, well, I'm happy that it's like, man, it's like a real cold read test. Some words are crossed out.

Well, he gets the prize bag. So come on up here, dude. Congratulations. There you go. What? You can have some pizza, too, if you want. You goddamn greedy asshole. That's Dustin.

Yeah, I'm like, all of a sudden, my ass is mine, bro. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, Dustin didn't lose his dignity in this game. He's still a human being. I wouldn't get to, like, don't lean into it. What else have you got to plug, Dustin?

Hey, guys. I'll be at a Crackers Comedy Club. That's the main thing. And El Paso later. And other places. Just go to my website. What's your website? Why are you screaming at people? Go to my website! Please, I've only got five seconds. Dustinybar.com

Watch Battle Creek, Gotham, and all that. You guys are awesome. Thanks. That's how he ends his sets Yeah Battle Creek is an entertaining show You guys are awesome, good night I enjoyed Battle Creek I enjoyed that show, Battle Creek

I wish I didn't say it on TV Me too We're all in agreeance. Was Harrison Ford in that? Nope. Oh, I wish. Jeff, what do you got to plug? I'm going to be in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina in March.

Please, please come to that show because I have been there before. And the people who don't listen to Doug Loves Movies who come to that club just please come. It is holy shit. Yeah. Alright. If you're at this show right now I'll put you on the fucking list.

If you want to come across the country to Myrtle Beach. Gainesville, Florida is coming up. I got shows in Brooklyn. Oh, no. Dustin's Pizza is face down for more than five seconds on the stage. So nobody's going to eat that.

Pass me part of it. Sorry. No, I don't want to. I believe I was pretty respectful during your plugs. You think I wanted to drop the pizza? That's the last thing I wanted to do tonight. That was last on his list of things to do tonight. I don't drop that pizza face down on the ground.

What kind of fucking list would that be? It's a weird ass list. It's just a list of things I don't want to do tonight. And that's the last thing I don't want to do. It's a dusty list, bro. That's the last thing on my don weird ass list. It's just a list of things I don't want to do tonight. And that's the last thing I don't want to do. It's a dusty list, bro. That's the last thing on my don't do list. Right after murder and rape. Also probably getting murdered and getting raped are probably.

Don't do those either. How are those less last than dropping pizza? So Gainesville, Florida, I'm doing a show because that's where Tom Petty's from, and I'm hoping that his brother comes or something. The whole Petty family, come on out. Eau Claire, Wisconsin, Montreal. I got Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Just check out my website, justanotherclown.com, and follow me on Twitter at JeffTate96. Tater done. Jeff Tate. Jacob, what do you got going on? I'll be at the American Comedy Company in San Diego this Sunday night, the 21st. Terrific club. We did a show there

recently. It was fun. I'll be with you in Florida next week. Oh, that's a surprise. No, the stand-up. to me also well you didn't I was gonna yeah I'm not performing I'm just coming out to check you out yeah come to come by hang out with me in Fort Lauderdale and then it's a good time I'm on this right now so everybody listen to this yeah listen to this to hear Jacob Serra, Jeff Tate and Dustin Ibarra, the Dream Team. Be sure to

come back and see me Sunday afternoon over at Meltdown Comics. Jeff, what are you doing Sunday afternoon? Can you continue your championship reign and come be on the show? Yeah, of course. Defend your title?

Yeah, I'll defend my title. All right, Jeff's going to stick around in L.A. and be on the show on Sunday against two formidable competitors. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it's going to be an exciting one. I'd fucking throw down the gauntlet. I hope they listen to this and I hope they know they're fucking

going down on Sunday. I don't know. No, that's great that you're so aggressive. I've never been this aggressive. It's not like you, yeah. Before. I used to be on a basketball team and sometimes I wouldn't play because I didn't wear my jersey to the games. I'm not

particularly competitive. The jersey was real itchy, and my warm-up shirt was super comfortable. So I just went and put my jersey on, and then my coach would be like, get in there. And I'd be like, I fucking don't have a jersey. Something strange. Jeff Tate, everybody.

See you Sunday, pal. I've just been looking at the clock up in the corner just watching it wind because I want to give you guys a 90-minute show. And we're one minute away from midnight. Yeah, do you guys have post-midnight plans or are you just going to go home?

It's a long day, right? Fridays? People with jobs, right? Fridays? People with jobs. What? Crowdwork? I should do a little crowdwork right now? Where are you from, Bilster? Ghost Bilsters? Originally Chicago. And it's his birthday.

Yeah. No better time waster at the end of an episode than applauding for somebody's birthday. The great thing about the Billster is he's the only one here that had a birthday. The rest of us just appeared spontaneously. It's 12 o'clock, so we can go now. As always,

leap years are a shithead. And Dr. Luke is a shithead. There you go! Once again, today's episode is brought to you in part by Roku. Roku players give you the biggest selection of streaming channels like HBO Now, plus innovative features like voice search, unbiased search results, and private listening via the Roku remote or your mobile app. With HBO Now, you get all of HBO, including every season, every episode of HBO's addictive original series, past and present, plus the biggest and latest movies before any other streaming service.

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because Doug loves movies.