Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Joe DeRosa, Rachel Wolfson and Mark Cohen guest

Episode Date: April 1, 2019

Live from the Comedy Cellar at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Joe DeRosa, Rachel Wolfson and Mark Cohen to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, green and pinky sticky seeds With empty eyes and lock on kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Those gullible weeds Hey everybody My name is Doug And I love movies This is Doug Loves Movies

Coming to you once again From the comedy cellar On the ground floor It's not a cellar Of the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada! So good to be back, so nice of you guys to show up. So intimate, we're on small chairs, me and my four guests on a small stage in a replica of the Comedy Cellar in New York, and everybody's real... I feel like you're really close to me.

So you got food here? That's from here? Oh I see, they're like little wooden plates. It looked like you've just all brought your own to-go food. Just fucking threw it down and said let's do this. But it's good? Is the food good? Don't say one way or the other. What a dumb question for me to ask. So yeah, so the last time I was here, and if you were here, we were all on stools. So we were up a little higher. So this has really got an interesting

perspective for us and for you. It's more like some sort of conference or a meeting. And I've got the minutes right here. Let's get into it. It's Saturday, March 30th, 2019, and if I were a gambling man... Wait, I am a gambling man. I bet that we've got some great name tags.

I already see... Let me see what you brought. I already see this Dumbo thing. Let me see that. All right, so it's Dumbo. I see it sitting on his table. I see it says Dumbo on the back. And I'm like, what kind of, you know,

is he going to be Jimbo? What kind of fun is he going to have with this? And he just covered up Dumbo and wrote, Gerald. Oh, my God. All right, what else have we got? We got Event Horian. Orion. Of course, Orion. Event Orion. I get it.

It's my birthday today. What movie is that? Oh, you got another one too. Baby Driver. What'd you change it to? Baby Robert. Okay. Wow, that would have been almost as good to make it Baby Gerald. The Happy Birthday Rob Robert, and that's not going to help you to get chosen. It might only hurt.

Love, actual, AJ? Oh, Allie. Actual, All alley. I get it. What's this one over here that's go or gone in 60 seconds? Gone in 60 seconds. Gone in 60 seconds, and what'd you change it to? Dawn. Dawn in 60 seconds. Good one, Dawn.

This is fun trying to read these in the dark. And then someone's got, is that lit up on your phone? Yep. No, a guy's got like is that lit up on your phone? Yep. No, a guy's got like a tiny name tag thingy, but then he's got a little light behind it. It just looks like he's got it on his screen on his phone. I got to get my eyes checked. Great job, everybody.

Good luck to all of you. As you can see, four of you will be chosen. So that's a massive, that's a majority of you. As you can see, four of you will be chosen, so that's a massive majority of you. No, it's a bigger crowd than that. I can't tell you how happy I am that you guys are here. Doug plugs. Doug Loves Movies is back at the UCB Theater

in Los Angeles this Tuesday, April 2nd at 9.30. I mean, you guys are going to be blown away by this panel today, and then I'm telling the listeners, if you're in the L.A. area, don't miss next Tuesday because it's going to be a great one, too. Next Saturday, Douglas Movies returns to the Punchline in San Francisco. Shitty guess on that one.

That's going to be... That's going to be at 420 on. This is a last minute one, so I shouldn't be joking around. The best guests that have ever been on the show, Punchline, San Francisco, April 6th. Very soon. So let's do this, Bay Area. And on Sunday, April 7th, this is fun. At 5 o'clock Pacific time, you can watch the classic movie Tommy Boy with me on your device or your TV or however you watch stuff. You just have to sign up at CYA Live.

That's C-Y-A Live. You can go to their website or download their app. It'll be like watching a movie with me on Skype the whole time. Saying what I think about it. It's Tommy Boy. I didn't want to do a movie that I'd sit there and insult. I thought it'd be more fun to watch something that I would enjoy, and I haven't seen that movie in a minute, so it should be

a lot of fun. April 13th, Nashville. April 14th, Hoover, Alabama. April 15th, Huntsville, Alabama. For all my dates, go to DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com That's DougLovesMovies.com Yeah! Caw caw!

Someone was a little early on the caw caw. It's such an exciting addition that's been going on almost a year now. Let me show you guys what I brought for the old prize bag. Oh, is this going to happen again?

That's not flat right there. This piano top isn't flat. If you see me trying to put my drink on there, go ahead and let me do it because that will be hilarious if I spill my drink all over in that thing. Speaking of drinks, I brought a sippy cup. I think I might have gotten that one when I saw the play The Ferryman. And it was very good.

Good play. This is a shirt. This has something to do with weed. I'm not even going to open it. Somebody threw it at me, and it's got rubber bands on it. So I want to leave it in its pristine condition. I don't know what this means.

I wore this on St. Patrick's Day because it was green. But it says Lucky Charms. Are those nunchucks? Oh, they're beer bottles? Why do they look connected with a chain? Beer chucks.

Thank you. Shut up, Gerald. I just did a show in Los Angeles. I'm about to be back to Los Angeles, so might as well give you guys a copy of Los Angeles Magazine. Learn about... It's almost like a sister city, L.A., right? Everybody goes back and forth all the time. This I got from backstage. I didn't even know this existed.

It's Oreo cookie crackers. It's like the old cheese and crackers packaging, but with Oreo cookies and then just the goo, the white goo in a separate thing, and you just dunk them and eat them. That's not going in the prize bag. I was so excited to see that and I might want a snack during the show.

So that's just going to be sitting right over there. I got a koozie, a beer koozie from the 311 cruise. A bunch of these, oh, look, a sticker that's Bobby from King of the Hill. Yeah, people give me... Propane. People give me the craziest shit. But I also got a bunch of these 311 crews.

They give you these peace and love bracelets. And so instead of chucking donuts at the audience, I've been flinging these into the audience. So I'll do that at some point. Also, this is called Velvet Swing Cannabis Enhanced Sensual Lubricant. I wonder why sensual and not sexual only enjoy this alone and don't enjoy it too much. Okay. So all that's in the prize bag. In addition to stuff brought by my lovely guests.

What do you say we get them out here? Please. Yes, please. Give it up for Rachel Wolfson, Mark Cohen, Joe DeRosa, and Jeff Tate. Woo! Rachel Wolfson, Mark Cohen, Joe DeRosa, and Jeff Tate. Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Oh, man.

It's cool. What am I going to say? That's not the coolest thing that's ever happened to me? Because it is. Thank you. I appreciate it. I didn't care for it. I didn't like it either. I gotta say, Joe, before I introduce everybody individually, there was a gasp and a Joe DeRosa.

Someone in the audience is very excited that you showed up. And it wasn't that person. That guy's excited because it's his birthday and his parents are letting him wear sunglasses indoors. Yes. Specifically, or was it more of an

anything-goes-today situation? Don't talk to him. Don't speak directly to him. But let's meet everybody individually starting with first time guest on the show. Let's hear it for Rachel Wolfson everybody. Wolfie.

Wolfie. Wolfie. Wolfie. Wolfie. Wolfie. Wolfie, Wolfie, Wolfie. These people, they'll chant anything. Oh my God. I get it. Hitler, Hitler. Oh, okay. Only a few went for the Hitler thing.

Oh, I thought you said handler. Oh God, roll back the tapes, edit. How's it going, Rachel? Hi. Oh, let me change the question. What are you right now? What's up? Are you giving me one question off for the entire show?

Huh? That would be awesome during the trivia part if you answered things like, huh, and what's up. And you'll still have a chance to meet the... You've met him already. You'll still have a chance to beat the man all the way on the right. Yeah, you're my pick for coming in third today.

Wait, there's four, though. It's Mark Cohen, everybody! Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate. Tate, Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate! That was cool. Mark Cohen, he's on all the shows here at the Comedy Cellar

so far that we've done the Douglas movies because it's always so fun to have you on and to see you. I never felt... I feel far away tonight, though, right? Yeah, usually sit next to me, but you know good luck getting Jeff to not do that When people are chanting your name you can sit wherever the fuck you want But mark thanks for being here and yeah, I But Mark, thanks for being here. Thank you, Doug.

You're still going strong here at the Comedy Cellar. Yeah, we're doing good. Seven nights a week. Seven nights a week. Two shows a night. And if you're lucky, you'll be here on the one night a week Mark might not be here. That's right. Huh?

What? He'll do my jokes anyway, though. Oh, yeah? Neat. Next to Mark, everybody, it's Joe DeRosa! Could have used some of that last night at the Topgolf show I did. Yeah, let's back up a second.

There is a golfing range here in town, a multi-level golfing range called Topgolf, and I found out when I heard Joe was in town that Topgolf has a comedy show. You guys live here. Did you have any idea? No. Neither do the people in last night's audience Where do they get the people from? Do they just, when they're done whacking away

They just say They just say come in here and watch a comedy show? Is it on their way out of the facility? Is this a little sitting area? I've never seen anything like it There were six flat screens playing golf And there were six giant windows, like bay-sized windows,

with people hitting golf balls, and that was just in the immediate area that we were in. I screamed at the audience at one point, how much fucking golf do you people need? It's psychotic. I know how much they need. They need the top amount.

I'm doing it. That's why they go to Topgolf. I work golf in the background of other activities. That's how much I love it. I feel like they probably thought you were going to talk about golf a lot. Like, they should get a golf comic. My act...

My act isn't golf-heavy these days. Just describe the plot of Tin Cup. That would be fun. Yeah. Pretend it happened to your dad. That's what I do when I'm hard up. I'll tell you the good things about the TVs at Topgolf.

When you're bombing, you can just watch the people putt on the TV. Oh, that must be a really serene feeling. Right, at least I'm not golfing. That's probably what I'm relaxing feeling. I could be worse.

I could be golfing. And dodging balls. Yeah. Oh, that got yelled at several times last night. I just pictured just balls just flying at your face, like eating dicks on stage at the same time. Tons of people made the ball analogy throughout the show, do jokes about balls.

I bet you were a hit. Yeah, it was... No, you would have heard more noise on the golf course where the guy was putting. I'm doing a set at the Kiss Minigolf tonight. I'm doing a tight 20 at the bumper cars. Catch me in the link, everybody. If you're lucky, you'll zip line with me,

and I'll do a couple jokes on the way down. I might as well introduce you if you're just going to sit here laughing. Welcome to Doug Loves Giggling. Me and my guests are going to giggle for 90 minutes. Hope it works for you. And here he is, Jeff Tate! I promise to only use that for good.

Hello everybody. Welcome to the show. Doug loves giggling. Jeff, as everybody could see, you've got many buttons on you. Many buttons. You like, or pins, I should say. You put the pins on your jacket, and you go out, and you just resplendent in pins.

You got the Leonard Maltin one, of course. Classic. And then what was the other one, comedian? Oh, Mitch Hedberg. That's a great one. So I would like to add, I mean, while I'm nowhere near in their league, the people at Rockin' Pins,

go to rockinpins.com for all of your rock and comedy pin needs. Here it is. Hot off the presses. The Doug Benson pin. Jeff, you get one. I'm gonna put one in the prize bag. And then also, very soon when I'm out on the road,

I'm gonna sell them for $50 a piece. I finally found merch small enough to travel with a lot of it. But I also, if I'm going to stand with my merch pins, I'm going to make a lot of money. No, they'll probably be like $10 or something. But anyway.

Just put them all on one jacket and then wear that jacket and then sell them off the jacket. Take them off when you sell them. That's smart. Plus, it would just look great to be covered in Doug Benson pins. But also, if you go to rockandpins.com, they have a brand new Brody Stevens pin.

And yeah. And all of the proceeds for the Brody Stevens pin are a big part of it. I forget how it works out. But anyway, the guys being very generous, the Brody pin is going to contribute to, I think out in Reseda, they're going to put up a bench with Brody's name on it as a tribute to him and his beloved 818. Reseda!

Yeah, so Jason to Sarzana. And his beloved 818. Reseda! Yeah, so, um... Jason to Sarzana. So, anyway. Enough pin talk. Jeff, how are you feeling? You gonna do... How do you feel you're gonna do today? Didn't you win the last time you were on?

Uh... Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were pinning me when you were... You didn't give him the instructions. I mean, you really just put me through it, Doug. That was quite a workout. You won in Indianapolis, right? Yes, I did.

There you go. Did I? Was that? When was that? We're not sure. That was the last week one, yeah? Yeah, it was a week ago. I won.

I just got a button for it. Right there. Doug Benson. It's because I won last week. Oh, button for it. Right there. It's because I won last week. Oh, that's why I gave you that? I thought it was because you like pins. And we're friends. That's why. The second two.

Do you know about this Oreo shit? It's like cheese and crackers, but you got Oreo sticks and then don't you dare try to take my... Do you hear about this Oreo shit? Yeah, that's... That's old school nonsense. I'm in the future. I have heard about that.

I've never seen pre-assembled Oreos before, and just now I'm realizing how much it looks like cum and shit. Who hurt you? Are you sure you're enjoying your food? Who hurt you, Joe? So many people. I didn't see that, Joe.

I don't know why. I see shit and cum. You got poo in my cum. You got cum in my poo. You got cum in my poo. Tastes great. Too filling. Okay, I can't. It needs more parsley in your...

You need parsley in your Oreo cream. Oh, shit, was that too much? People don't know that trick? Yeah. I mean, finally you can get the right ratio of as little of the cookie as possible. Oh, yeah, I just covered it in goo and went to town. Now that I have a closer look at it.

I didn't know the comedy seller was catering your show, but... That looks like sour cream. Look how watery the cream is. That's disgusting. Whoa. Hey, and he's not even eating cookies. Look how watery the cream is. That's disgusting. Whoa. Hey. And he's not even eating cookies. Don't worry about the consistency, doctor.

Does it taste like pineapple? You know, when I come to Vegas, I try to put on a clean, wholesome 420 in the afternoon show. You put the hole in wholesome. And you put some in the hole. So, I don't know what that means. Let's talk prize bag. And Jeff, you can't just toss the cookies into the prize bag.

You got to give me this stuff. What's this? Oh, you brought a little pin. Yeah, I brought a little pin. Look it. You got a pin from Med Men, the great weed dispensary here in town. I thought it was going to be Mad Men themed Mad Men themed weed shop but it is not. No, it's Med Men.

Not Mad Men. I thought they were making a play on words. Well, I guess you could say they were. Are. It's a sexist name. I don't like it. What else did you bring, Jeff? The rest of this.

No, that. This was for you to try it and pass it down, was the idea there. I think everyone else was so repulsed by it that they don't like me. Jeff brought a copy of his album, People Are What People Make Them. Yes.

I got close to the right title. Is that from The Green Room? People Are What People Make Them. What, that album? Was it Sitting in The Green Room? People Are What People Make Them. What? That album? Oh. Is it sitting in The Green Room? Okay.

No, it's Jeff's. When I said Jeff's album, I don't mean he just owns it. He also, he's the voice that you hear when you play it. A lot of it is me. Some of it is laughter. And some of that is also me. Right? I had to go in and sweeten it up a little bit.

I thought it was fair. I think them jokes are funny. All right, Rachel, what do you got for us? So there's this really dope store in town, if you haven't heard of it. It's called Retro Vegas. And yeah, they're amazing. And I love collecting old hotel ashtrays.

Yeah, so there is a classic hotel ashtray. I got two and I took one out for myself. But there is one in there. It's either the Four Queens or Caesars. Hopefully you have never had a bad experience at either. But that's what's in here. And the hotel flower from room service. And I'm going to be periodically eating snacks out of the bag

but everything else is theirs oh okay so yeah a classic ashtray I'll take the snacks out I mean I don't know about anybody else but I wouldn't mind seeing the ashtray

can I take it out? I didn't know about anybody else, but I wouldn't mind seeing the ashtray. I don't believe it's in there. Can I take it out? I didn't know. Oh, wait. Okay, wait. Wait. I swear there's a gift in here. It's a Sahara ashtray. Oh, Sahara.

I probably just got it from outside. No, it's legit. You should definitely check this place out. Oh, I didn't know you'd have to go through the Sunday paper to get to it. Oh, yeah. There are comics in here. This is The Four Queens.

That is really nice. Wow. I still don't believe it. It's real. Do you guys all see it? Very nice. Yeah. It's not what I was expecting.

That's sweet. All right, what do you got for us, Joe? I brought... Now, this is... There's a significant story behind this. This is the most offended I have ever been by a minibar item in my life.

I got to my room at the Mandalay Bay yesterday. I was like, I'm a little hungry, but dinner soon. Let me just, maybe there's some peanut M&M's in that mini bar. And yes, there were. And I picked this bag up, and then I looked up the price. This is $13.

$13. Wow. And it's not like gourmet M&M's it's actual M&M's the M's are on them they're broken they're turning

they're probably not even as good as actual M&M's they're turning white because they've been sitting in there for quite some time $13 I was like fuck you Mandalay Bay so I just sat there hungry out of spite I was like I you Mandalay Bay so I just sat there hungry

out of spite I was like I won't do it I won't play this fucking game I won't do it but then when you were like bring a prize I was like oh yeah I'm gonna bring the $13 M&M's and they're in a Mandalay Bay bag yay some guy at Mandalay Bay

can pick those out of an M&M's bag and put them into that bag. That's how you get paid at Top Flight, too. They pay you. Yeah, yeah. Whenever I stay at the Mandalay Bay, I like to stand in the elevator and when people get off, say,

have a Mandalay day. Who wants a wristband? Peace and love. Right in your face. Peace and love in your face. What do you got for us, Mark? Well, Doug, I wanted people to remember me

for like months after we... Remember me. So I got something to add to your toilet. And whenever you take a shit and flush it, it turns blue. I want you to think of me, ladies and gentlemen. Think of Mark when you shit, you guys. That's right. And after.

Dude, no joke. I just watched an entire episode of Married With Children that was centered around Peggy wanting that because it turned the toilet water on. I swear to God. Really? Yeah, that's weird that you just pulled that off. Peggy had such big dreams.

And just for the sake of it, I paid $14 for that. Wow. I wanted to have the most expensive. Your peanuts are still the most expensive thing in that bag for a fact. It's like smelly through the packaging. Yeah, that's good shit. It's really fresh. It's really fresh.

Doug, did you hear that asshole? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That is Lysol, too. I didn't mention that. That is Lysol. My guy said, that's the power of Lysol. I love it when anybody can say a sentence from a TV ad. You know, like in real life.

Like you would know. Why does it say six on it, Doug? There was a big long line of Dunkin' Donuts yesterday. I said to the guy next to me, America runs on Dunkin'. What's your question, Joe? Why does it say blue power six? What is the significance of the six? Blue and...

Power and blue, six. It goes off every time you take three number twos, it goes off. Okay. It takes six actions. And it says for ultra clean toilets, which is another way of saying formerly not clean at all toilets.

I mean, it's not for toilets that are already clean. Okay, okay. I should have brought a bidet, I guess. Let's walk through the instructions. Open the packaging. Good luck with that one. Look, it says you need a scissors instructions. Open the packaging. Good luck with that one.

It says you need a scissors. Remove product from packaging. God damn it, are you serious? Take a shit. Yes, yes. That's instruction number two. It would be number two, that's right. Fit the... Fit the product in the toilet,

Rim. It's for people who don't know how to clean their toilets. The instructions are gonna be pretty basic. Oh my god, number four out of five instructions is discard the packaging. Yeah, yeah.

Some people hang on to this. Don't eat it. Don't give it to your baby to play with. Did you get the taste yet? Taste for salt? After the product is over, that's a weird way to put it. Right?

You'll know. That's what they're saying. You'll know. When you're over it, displace the plastic hook and replace for a Lysol Power N6 Blue 6. What? Oh, it's just saying get another one.

But those instructions seem translated from another language or something. All right, so all that's going in the prize bag. One really quick question before we get into the game portion because we've been having so much fun. Because Jeff's been having so much fun. What was the last movie you saw, Jeff? A Major League.

What is it on, on like hotel room cable it was on the airplane this morning I watched it it was a bit of a bumpy flight I figured I'd fall asleep but it was a little too bumpy so I watched Major League and

was it good it's pretty good I bumpy. So I watched Major League. And? I don't know. Was it good? Yeah, it's pretty good. I mean, the baseball stuff is fine. There's a whole, like, B story with Rene Russo that's fucking terrifying. Like, Tom Berringer should go to prison. I don't know the movie well enough

to agree or disagree. He follows her home. It felt like Charlie Sheen's character was the delinquent, though. But Charlie Sheen's character wasn't stalking his ex-girlfriend. Do you like it every time they play Wild Thing when he comes out? It's the only time I like the song. Yeah. It's only good in context.

And then Bob Uecker, does his stuff hold up? Is he still funny? Yeah. Yeah, Bob Uecker's does his stuff hold up? Is he still funny? Yeah. Yeah, Bob Uecker's funny. Alright, there you have it. Jeff talking about an old movie for a minute or two. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I apologize. Rachel, I mean, they'll start it on their own. You don't really have to. I'm a leader. You don't have to do it. Rachel, do you know what the start it on their own. You don't really have to. I'm a leader. You don't have to do it. Rachel, do you know what the last movie you saw was? The Birdcage. Why?

Oh, sorry, sorry. I thought you said Birdbook. No, Birdbox. Whatever that thing was, Birdbox. No, the Birdcage. Birdbook is the sequel to Green Book. Where everyone just goes back to being racist again. Like they solve racism in Green Book

and then they go back to it. It's one of those futuristic. Bird Cage with Robin Williams. Yeah. And probably the greatest Hank Azaria role of all time. He's amazing in that movie. And what's her name? Ally McBeal is barely there.

Oh, Gene Hackman too. Don't you miss Gene Hackman? Yeah. Yeah. This guy just yelling out Harvey Fierstein. I mean, I miss Harvey Fierstein too, I guess. Diane Weiss.

He's still alive and she's in it too. Nathan Lane. Great cast, a lot of fun. I can't believe we didn't mention Nathan Lane. He's still alive, but she's in it too. Nathan Lane? Great cast, a lot of fun. I can't believe we didn't mention Nathan Lane. He's the funniest character in there, right? I think that's who he meant when he said Harvey Fierstein. Maybe, yeah. Yeah, both those

guys would probably be insulted. They both take it personally. Joe, what was the last movie you saw? I saw an awesome movie It's the guy that did Bone Tomahawk It's called Dragged Across Concrete It was fucking amazing

You loved it? Yeah I loved it It's a movie about police It's brutal right? It's pretty brutal But it's not crazy But it's about police corruption And crime

It stars Vince Vaughn and Mel Gibson Mel Gibson didn't know they were shooting a movie. You think it's less brutal than Bone Tomahawk? Yeah. There's not a... I mean, spoiler alert. Right. No, you don't have to say it.

No. It's got that level of violence, but I wouldn't say it was quite as disturbing. Did you see Riot and Cell Block 99? Brawl and Cell Block 99? Yes. It was not as brutal as that. You know what? It's a fucking riot no matter what you say. I thought you said ride.

I was like, that's really wrong, dude. No, no, Doug goes to a lot of amusement parks. You haven't been to the super hyper-violent indie amusement park. The prison-themed amusement park. Right where you get a ride. No, it's it.

It's like 99. There's a big mechanical Vince Vaughn. Is it more violent than that one? Is it more violent than that one? No, that movie was one of the most violent things I've ever seen. Okay. But it's still violent. But it's a very, the best reviews I read of it were it is a very challenging study of

all sides of the situation of crime and cops and everything right now. It's amazing. It's so good. Dodd Johnson rules it. Everybody is so good. Mel Gibson, Vince Vaughn, everybody's amazing. The guy's a great director, and he gets amazing actors like that. The one thing that really stands out to me about Bone Tomahawk, aside from the whole violent thing,

is just how good all the performances are yeah the first time i saw it i didn't even know it was richard jenkins until i've been watching for a while you know yeah no like he's amazing in that movie yeah that was academy award level and he got ignored because the movie's so crazy he's fantastic and this movie reminded me of bone time i got the sense that it was like really grim but then then there would be these sitcom gags between Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn. There would be legitimately funny banter at times, which was good because it released a lot

of the tension. You know what I mean? Not in a Marvel movie kind of way, where it's like you know, like a... It released the tension because you're like, when is Mel Gibson going to go ahead and say some racist shit so we don't have to wonder if this character is going to be racist and then

he does right? He says plenty of racist shit I bet. He doesn't, no he's not like a die hard racist but they also didn't push him the other way it would have been worse if they pushed him the other way where he was the guy being like guys let's all just open our minds a little bit. Mel Gibson has made a few movies

in the last few years where the Mel Gibson baggage that you bring watching him helps the movie. Yeah, when he plays the bad guy, you mean? Yeah, like in this movie. There's nothing where he's a nice guy and it helps in any way, right?

Like What Women Want? Passion of the Christ? Yeah. I love what women want because he can hear all women's thoughts and they happen one at a time.

Like, they all take turns having a thought. You know how they just made What Men Want, the sort of sequel? I saw this on movieweb.com. This is the headline. It just made What Men Want, the sort of sequel? I saw this on movieweb.com. This is the headline. It goes,

What Men Want comes to Blu-ray next week with tons of deleted scenes. Who is sitting there like, yes! It makes so much more sense when you see the director's cut. It's four hours long. You thought the movie wasn't good. Wait till you see the stuff that wasn't good enough

to be in that movie that wasn't good. She gets eaten by a grizzly bear at the end. Or like, for the first time ever, we cut out all the good stuff and saved it for the DVD. What men don't want. What men don't want. What was the last movie you saw, Mark Cohen? Bohemian Rhapsody on the plane.

Mama! They kind of cleaned it up on the plane, though he just gets a cough. Anyway. He cleaned it up on the plane, though. He just gets a cough. Anyway. I mean, honestly, there's not a scene in that movie you couldn't show a child on an airplane.

Like, they really just be like, and AIDS. You know, it's really just sort of like, okay. That happened, too. Did you like it? I did. It's touching at some point. It's the one guy doing a great impression for the whole thing. That's engaging in and of itself

because Freddie Mercury was awesome. Like rap. She's not wrong. That's amazing. They're making a sequel. They're talking about making a sequel that's going to show the rest of his life Which is the good part of the story Seriously

It's only four years I think But those are the good four years I could go for Bo Ra too Yeah yeah you see him Oh we get the opera I'd like you see him bow-wrapped, yeah? Oh, we get the opera. I'd like to see him sing Fat Bottom Girls. I don't think he does that in the movie.

They play it in the movie, but they play it on their first tour, which is completely wrong chronologically. It bothers me how out of place it is. Oh, okay, okay. I knew something was bothering me. I knew something fell off. Okay, there we go. You didn't have to do it. You didn't have to start that fire.

Well, that was a great round of what you guys just watched. So let's do this. Let the games begin! Let the games begin! So let's do this. Let the games begin! Lady and gentlemen, we've got a lot of delightful name tags for you to choose from.

Gerald the elephant is here. Did you ever see Operation Gerald Drop? Ooh, look at that, that's got a little prize on it. So anyway, pick one. Oh, there's marijuana in the VHS case with Dumbo? Come on, man. Think about the children. Ooh, there's a big John Wick over there.

All right, so pick your name tags while you do that. We're going to go to a brief commercial message. We'll be right back. Hey, no sponsors this app. I just want to tell you some more places that doug loves movies is coming over the next few months so you could try to come out and see it live and get a donut chucked at your face my annual mother's day show at 4 20 at comedy works in denver that's in May, of course.

I'll be at the Brea Improv in Brea, California. Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin. Helium in Philly. Gas Improv in D.C. So many more. You know where to go find all of the dates

and all of the deets because you know how the internet works. Back to the show. All right, we're back. Thank you. Yeah, let's get those lights back down. Oh, I can still see Gerald.

There's no getting around that. Who are you playing on behalf of, Mark Cohen? Oh, shit. Do you want to go last? Oh, there you go. You got some real danglers on there. Oh, it's on the front? I can't read.

It's for this person. What is it? The Never Brending Story. Oh, I'm supposed to be... The Never Brending Story. Yeah. Because his name's Brending. Brenda. Brenda. It's name is Brending. Brenda.

It's Nev Campbell, everybody. Brenda, you were here so early today. Congratulations, you got picked. You're going to have to settle for that. That's probably the end of the road for you. You're not going home with the prize bag. You give me two free guesses, right? I get two comps.

No. One lifeline. No, he can't. I mean, sorry, Mark. Joe? Thank you. I picked this not because it was the most clever. It's John, Nick.

But I just love the John Wick movie so much. I love him so much. That new one looks so awesome when he's riding on a horse and shooting people on a bridge. No, it's in the trailer. I didn't watch the trailers. Oh, okay, sorry.

I did see that one, though. Sorry to spoil that he, Doug, Doug, sorry to spoil that he kills people in this movie. But on a horse, that's big. Yeah, well, it is the seppi. Oh, he crosses over with the cowboy way. Boban Marjanovic.

Did you see him in the trailer? What's that? In that John Wick 3 trailer, Boban Marjanovic. I thought you were doing a poster from the audience. Who's Boban Marjanovic? I knew for sure he would. Those two words, Doug's number. Are you asking people to Bobbe on your onovich?

Yeah, I mean, I'd rather that than whatever I did say that fucking shocked everyone into church-like silence. Who is that? All right, let's get back to what we were doing.

Rachel, who are you playing for? Gerald. Gerald. Gerald. But that was a real last minute success story because Gerald pointed out to her what he put inside

the VHS copy of Dumbo. I'm stoked about the VHS box. Does she get to keep the whole thing? No, no. This is a collector's item, he said. He wants it back. I just needed to hold it in my hands for a few moments.

Oh, wow, okay. That's cool. He's had it since he was four, but he changed it to Gerald when he was ten. Yes. Who you got, Jeff? I'm playing for Colin Kingdom, Jurassic World. Yeah.

Why'd you pick that one? Because you love those movies? Yes, I'm a huge fan of dinosaurs. And weed. There's weed on it. There's a joint right here. You just described me. I do love dinosaurs, though.

All right, that's who's being played on behalf of today. Good luck to everybody. Yeah. How are we doing on time, Jeff? Oh, time is a wonderful thing. We're behind. That's another wonderful thing. We're behind. That's another way of saying we're behind. All right.

Let's start with a game called... It's called Characters Welcome. Thank you. I am going to name the characters in the end title sequence of a motion picture as according to IMDB. And I'll build up from the smaller characters to bigger ones.

And the first person that can guess the name of the movie wins. Guess as often as you like. Any pre-guesses? Go. No, go is incorrect. Anything else? Vegas vacation.

Don't hog all the pre-guessing, Jeff. That is correct! No, that'd be weird. That'd be really fucked up. Remember when I texted you this morning to say Vegas vacation? No collusion, no collusion. All right.

Forest Ranger 1. Receptionist. Stewardess. Yeah, that's a clue, because we'd call that a flight attendant these days. Oh, oh, oh, Forest Ranger 2. Oh, snap. Yeah. We've also got somebody named, I want to say Durkin?

It's Durkin, yeah. Durkin? It's Durkin, yeah. Durkin? Lloyd? A National Labyrinth Vegas Vacation. No. Did I say it wrong? No. I mean, you said the wrong title.

Honeymoon in Vegas. No. Although I think that movie would be improved immensely with Forest Rangers. I mean, I never saw it. I don't know what happens to that goddamn thing. Grady is a character. Grady? Grady.

And an old poker buddy of ours, his last name is in here, Mark Cohen, Olman. There's a character named Olman. Like Stanley Olman, our friend. There's a Danny in this movie. Someone named Danny. You play poker with him.

Ocean's Eleven? No. Great guess. The Shining? The Fugitive. Rachel with The Shining. That is correct. Forest Ranger?

But that didn't take place in Vegas. That was my mistake, Joe. Yeah, all I had left was Wendy Torrance, Jack Torrance, and weird twins in a hallway. R. Kelly. Introducing as themselves The Bushes.

Those were topis scary, right? They're amazing. Because that was the thing. That was one of the things that bummed me out back in 1980 as a big Stephen King fan, was that they changed the topiary animals outside the hotel that would attack into a maze. I was like, no, that sounds scary.

I did a horror convention once with that bartender. The guy that played the bartender. How many whores were there? This is a true story. We did a live podcast. We were walking through the autograph room, and we walked by a table, and the guy wasn't there. It just said,

so-and-so as seen in Final Destination Part 4. And my podcast partner turned to me, and he goes, this is a very dark circuit, Joe. Let me shoot a peace and love band out into the crowd. plenty more where that came from right live strong everybody a lot of peace and love don't use his phrase anymore that guy

okay is that still a thing I don't know. Is he still charitable? Probably not. Lance Armstrong? Definitely. Definitely.

That guy's the best. Is that Lance? That guy's awesome. Definitely. I mean, I never minded Lance Armstrong because anybody that's a brother of Stretch is a friend of mine. because anybody that's a brother of Stretch is a friend of mine.

You got any more old toy jokes, Mark? Tell us, do a joke about Slinky. Go. About what? Slinky? Slinky. Did you know that they walk downstairs alone or in pairs? I did not know that.

But if you try to get three of them going, they're not having it. They're respectable Slinkys. They won't. I did not know that. But if you try to get three of them going, they're not having it. They're respectable slinkies. They won't... They're slinkies. They're slinkies. I still support Lance Armstrong, but I stopped supporting Lance Romance

when I heard he was using enhancement drugs. Oh, God. Sorry. It was a Viagra joke about Lance Romance. It's hard to followra joke. About Lance Romance. It's hard to follow Slinky. Oh, wait. That got gross.

Peace and love. It's a Viagra joke and a Slinky joke. Sorry, everybody. Oh, a performance enhancement. Sorry. I'll help these people. It's a performance enhancing joke. I guess they don't like topical humor jokes.

I mean, it was probably a cream of some sort. All right, let's get it. Tomorrow when you hear this, you'll realize how dumb you are. That was a good joke. That topical thing, that was good. You'll get it tomorrow. All right, thank you, Jeff.

Let's get back into the action. Kool-Aid's here. The club hates it when he stops by because they have to replace the whole wall. The Kool-Aid Man would live in Vegas. They're tearing down hotels so fast they could probably use them as some extra help. I mean, isn't he a glass pitcher?

Why is he going through walls? Very dangerous. All right. I agree. Here we go. Enough about Kool-Aid, man. Let's play. Haven't played this one in a few episodes.

Let's play How Long Is It? How mother-grabbing long is it? I'm going to name a thing. You guys are all going to guess how long it is. The person who gets closest without going over prices right style wins. Yes. Rachel gets to go first. Yeah.

Then we'll go to Jeff, and then we'll go to Mark. We're going to skip Joe entirely on this one. I know. And I'll still lose. I don't know. I apologize. You were late booking, so I hadn't written your name down yet. That's fine.

Yeah, I didn't know you were at Topgolf. Neither did the audience, folks. neither did the audience folks don't get that fucking Lance romance joke when I do it tonight that's a Topgolf joke okay so we're gonna go

Rachel, Jeff, Mark, Joe That's how we're going to do it Joe Joe Alright, but Rachel gets to guess first Yeah Let's do this for the matriarchy Yeah

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know the Woody doll in the Toy Story movies? Yep. How long is it? How tall is... No audience guesses, please.

And also, that was a stupid guess. Ah. How tall is the Woody doll according to Pixar they've actually decided on a number in the Toy Story films how tall is he Gerald's trying to help you out by showing with his hand

over the table about how tall he thinks Woody is. And you always want to trust the guy wearing a Tito's bandana. I know I do. He looks like he's good with inches. That bandana, you joke around, but that bandana is gluten-free and handmade.

In inches. Yeah. 12 inches. Okay. Rachel's coming out strong with 12. I made fun of that guy for saying 7 just to throw everybody off the set. Nobody knows.

What do you think, Jeff? 10 and a half. Are we measuring with the hat or without the hat? It's interesting that you should mention that because they do give you a number with the hat, but I'm going no hat. Oh, shit.

Okay. Wow. Take, take, take, take. Take, shit. Okay. Wow. Tape, tape, tape, tape. Because I'm pretty sure we can rewind the tape. I didn't say how tall is Woody and his hat. You know what I mean? Like, how tall are you, Jeff? Oh, don't forget to add your hat.

But if my action figure has a hat that can... Is he wearing shoes? I will accept no arguments. Answer the question. You play dirty, Benson. You play real dirty. Alright. I mean, I'm sticking with ten and a half.

Oh, okay. That's what she said. That joke was amazing. Mark? Seven and a half, ten and a half? We got ten and a half or twelve. I'm going with fourteen and three quarters. Fourteen and three quarters. 14 and three quarters. 14 and three quarters. I think he is...

Oh, hang on a second, Joe. I'm sorry. I wrote Mark's answer under your name. That's a good sign. I'm writing all the answers in the wrong spot. Mark, what'd you say again? What's the correct answer? It would be... 14 and three quarters.

Oh, that's right. That's what she said. How could I forget that? Three quarters. Okay. All right, now Joe. Nine inches. Nine inches. Nine inches.

That's a very German guest. Yeah, for a second I thought you were just refusing to answer. Nine? No. Nine inches. That's how tall your Hitler doll is. It's nine inches. There's no chance it's not any other measurement than nine inches.

It's ridiculous. 14 and a half inches. What the kind of fucking deformed gigantic doll is this? 14 and three quarters. It's an outrageous number. I think seven's gonna win, actually. Don't forget, mine's with the hat. All right.

Okay, so those are the guesses. Everybody made their guesses. But now let's go through, and I'm going to repeat their guess, and only applaud for one. Applaud for the person that you think, as an audience member, is the closest. We'll start on the end over there with Mark. All right, you got a couple of supporters there, Mark. What do you think, Joe?

I mean, what do you think of Joe? Rachel? She said 12. And Jeff said 10 and a half. Jeff? I have no idea what... They think you're wrong, but they still love you. I think it's exactly a foot tall with the hat. So I think Woody would know hat is ten and a half inches. Oh, smart.

I'm just letting you know. Because there's so many scenes where he's walking around bragging about his height. As he's leaving convenience stores. Yeah, and dude, at twelve inches, at even ten and a half inches, he'd be towering over Mr. Potato Head, which he does not. You should get a Pulitzer. Joe, I've seen some huge potatoes, man. Maybe you've never been to Idaho.

Yeah, Mr. Potato Head is just the size of the potato head they use, right? Oh no, he's the plastic one. Yeah, he's the plastic one. Could be the big one. There's a giant one too. So you thought in Toy Story it was a real potato this whole time? I can't believe I thought anything was real in that movie. But if he's not real,

how could he talk? Why is Mr. Potato Head moldy by the third film? He's only got one eye. All right. This is the dumbest I've ever been. Sativa. Sativa. Minus his hat.

Woody is just under 16 inches. Hey, could somebody let the dogs out? That is madness. It's not right. Joe's got some woody on his face.

That's crazy! I mean, he's a pretty... When the kid's holding him, he's not small. He's a pretty evolved doll. I mean, look, my foot is 11 inches. You think Woody is five inches taller than my foot? Yeah, it's a movie. Oh.

Oh, yeah, I forgot. That's why I think it's funny that Pixar released their height, you know, the height of all the characters. Like, yeah, we need to know. So we can look up how tall the potato head is? We could look it up.

I didn't because, you know. I mean, who knew that one of us would not know that was a toy and not a real potato. Wait, but you know how Mr. Potato Head works, right? Yeah. You're supposed to use a potato.

Yeah. I'm not crazy for thinking it was a potato. No, you were supposed to use a potato in like the 50s. It's been the plastic one since like 1968. At my bar mitzvah, we use a potato in like the 50s. Yeah. They haven't done that. It's been the plastic one since like 1968. At my bar mitzvah, we had a potato. And you made a pipe out of it. Wait a second.

I thought it was a real potato, too. I just wanted that on record. One potato, two potato. I just got sad for Doug that he had the shittiest toys as a kid. He was like, just play as a potato, Doug. Was the dog that's a slinky, was it a plastic slinky

or a metal slinky? Metal. But the dog, the actual toy is plastic slinky, right? Well, it depends. No, it was never metal. The dog wears Depends? No, some of those dogs are metal slinkies.

Some of them are plastic. You say potato, I say plastic potato. Wait, he's saying it. I'm going to, for every episode for the next 10 or 12 episodes, I'm going to just whip out

the height of a different Toy Story character. And only Jeff's the only one that listens to the show, and he heard it today, so he knows. Yeah, because you could judge against now that you know how tall whatever that guy's name is. Woody. Yeah, once you know he's a 16-inch, or... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what's up. Yeah, yeah. You know what's up. The dinosaur isn't much bigger than anybody else, and it's a dinosaur. Oh, the dinosaur is 1472. 1472. Well, it's millimeters. All right, you get to go first in the final game, Mark.

Yeah. The final game! This is possibly the closest you've ever come to taking this thing. Oh, I didn't even know we started the point thing yet. All right. Yeah. Well, you know, the first games are just for fun. But now, did you hear that door lock?

Yeah. Yeah, no one's leaving the cellar. Now yous can't leave. Because it's time to play Last Man Stanton. Yay! Yay! I, you know, got some requests from audience members to suggest a name for this game.

Thank you for doing that. I only picked two people, though. This, of course, Rachel's never played this before, so I'll pretend I'm telling her, but all the other stoners on the panel can certainly listen along and relearn. We're going to get a name of an actor or actress. We'll take turns saying movies that person's been in. I play along for fun. Each of you has one lifeline that you can go to once

if you can't think of one. And then you're out if you say a wrong title or you can't think of one. Is Jeff my lifeline? No. You know, that's an interesting twist. You are all each other's lifelines. Oh, shit.

Jeff, help me out. I can't think of anything. All right, Jeff, it's your turn. True group. Yeah. No, I play fair. Alex, if I don't know the answer, can I ask the person next to me?

Mr. Trebek, is that fair? If you rang in first and the person next to you doesn't care, I don't see what the problem is. I don't mind. I'm not going to ask, Jeff. We'll play a fair game. We'll see how it goes. I'm going to ask Gerald. We don't even know who the names are yet.

It's too early to assume anything. Jeff, what if it was the films of Lionel Barrymore? Do you see what would happen? Lionel Barrymore is the... It's not gonna be, but you know. What was that? Did you just say some Lionel Richie?

Oh, I thought you said Lionel Richie. Yes, the films of Lionel Richie. And not the soundtrack. I don't care if people were dancing on a ceiling. As opposed to all Lionel Barrymore films? Yeah. I was teasing Jeff that he doesn't know old people. Hey.

I don't. I mean, I couldn't name any movies. I mean, if you were cool, you'd still be alive. I'm sorry. Tell that to half of the pins on your jacket. All right. This next... Oh!

Wow. Oh, no, the Doug Benson pin. I might be the only living pin. And that's debatable. Oh, and Leonard Walton, of course. And David Byrne is right there. But I do have Tom Petty, Prince, and Mitch Hedberg right now.

Oh my god, this side is like a death side. That's a good idea. Where's your Jussie Smollett pin? Yeah. Do you guys even know why you're making that noise? I don't know. Was there something offensive or wild? Are you pro or against? Are we in New York, New York, New York?

Is the coaster leaving the station? Empire, empire. Cookie, cookie. Could I get another silver tequila? Holy shit. Is that fast? Holy shit, that was fast.

Well, I don't know if you know, Doug, but I'm performing at Topgolf tonight. I got some bad news for you. They just called. I need to get into show mode here. Doug's not alone in not knowing about that. You know who else doesn't know? The audience.

Remember from earlier? Yeah, it's like you're going to the 19th hole first. Yeah, exactly. You're going to drink before you golf. Yeah. Where is M Team 1? E-M-T-E-E-M 1. That guy.

This guy. That guy. This guy. That guy. What's your real life name, M-Team-1? Major. Have I talked to you before? Yes, sir. It was a major... Mistake.

...to bite. All right, go ahead. What did he say? I'm out and you're in, but I didn't know I was in before. I don't know. He's not in my chain of command. I was just gonna say, both guys at that table have voices like they're in Predator.

You know what I mean? But not for the whole movie. All right, we're back in! I ain't got time to breathe! Did you say in or are? In either. Take your pick. Those guys sound like predators. I thought he said

creditors. Creditors? Well, Mark, if you didn't owe so much money, you wouldn't be on top of mine like that. I'm always worried about creditors. Hi, I'm Alex Trebek. If you're old, we could take all your money and make you think it's going to be good for you.

Please make that movie Creditor. That's so funny, dude. Please make that. He's definitely Jamaican. This is the Jamaican guy, so to speak. I am calling from... I'm so scared of the creditor. I am calling from Connecticut.

All right. Major, what do you got for us? Don't use that. Oh, this is great. This is great because in past episodes... Come back, Mark. Come back. In past episodes of the show, we've established

that Joan and John have been in a lot of movies together, so if you just guess a John Cusack movie, you're going to be in the ballpark. But that is kind of a tough one. And we've got, how much time do we have left? We've got like 17 minutes.

And so I think we should go for two names. So I'm going to get another person from the audience to help us out. And this person sounds great. Where is No Fun TJ? Where are you at? Where you at? He's right there. In the NoFun section. His name is No underscore fun underscore

TJ. Because I guess NoFunTJ without the underscores was taken. NoFunTJ1 would be dumb. Speaking of TJs... I like the way it sounds. Are you going to Tijuana?

No, I was going to say, speaking of TJs, Doug and my agent's name is TJ. We have the same agent. Doug's performing here, and I'm performing at Topgolf. That is 100% true. I'm sure TJ, when he got the call, thought he was sending you to a place called Top Notch.

The greatest comedy club in Vegas. All right, where'd he go? What's his name, TJ? TJ No Fun. TJ No Fun. What do you got for us? Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke.

I like that one a lot. I just saw him in True West on Broadway, and he was terrific. Who was he playing? True West. He played the guy that was the brother of the other guy. Whoa, whoa. Yeah, it's True. I haven't seen it yet. All right.

Seems like the audience is getting a little restless. I just want to remind everybody that the answers have to just remain on stage. Don't yell anything out unless it's, I need more quesadilla. Looks like they almost finished this one. No, I'm good. No, thank you. I had garbage for lunch. Jeff, are you trying I had garbage for lunch. Jeff!

Are you trying to work this club? I don't even know them. That somehow looks less appetizing than the handed down Oreo cream from earlier. I didn't think that was possible. Did you put some of that on your aches and pains though, the Oreo cream?

It's really good. It was a topical joke. It was a topical joke. It's a topical joke. Hey, that joke was amazing. Alright, so it's the films of Joan Cusack and Ethan Hauck. And like I said,

I'm going to play along. So we start with Rachel and then, which way were we going last game? We were going the other way? Yeah, so we'll go Rachel, then Joe. Rachel, Joe, Mark, Doug, Jeff. What do you got, Rachel? Oh,

God. Just going to guess a movie. Okay. Wait, you're all ready to just straight up guessing? Yeah, not good with names. I'm a stoner. I'm a face person. Here's Ethan Hawke's face. I know Ethan Hawke's face.

Here, look at it. And I'm like, okay, he's like a very handsome man. He's in like military movies. Yeah, it's like Jeff's face except not terrifying. He's probably in like a romance movie here. But you've seen a John Cusack movie, right? Yeah.

Yeah, so name one of those. A John Cusack? Joan is probably in it as well. Hold on. You could literally just say anything right now. We've got a show. The John Cusack movie I want to guess is about, I hope it's this same actor.

Otherwise I'm confusing him with another actor. Because, okay. It's the one with, it's not. But it's the one with the haunted hotel. The dolphin one. Where it's haunted and it's only just begun. You know when they sing that and it gets really fucking scary? And it's that haunted hotel movie that you know what I'm talking about.

I love that you remember the name of the hotel but not who John Cusack is. No, but that's the movie I'm guessing. That's your guess? It wasn't a guess. Let's go ahead and go to your lifeline. Gerald? It wasn't a guess. Let's go ahead and go to your lifeline. Gerald. Oh, that's fun. But just tell, just give her one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. Gerald's a fucking baller. You know, the words Gerald's a fucking baller you know the words Gerald's a fucking baller have just been spoken for the first time ever oh yeah no no no it's 1408 say what?

it's 1408 what is? the movie yeah but Joan Cusack's not in that one. But John Cusack. Wait, but I mean, of all the John Cusack movies, you picked an obscure one. I love that movie.

The one movie you can remember has got a number in it that's like a regular room number. You were right. I am going to come in third. She's in it, Joan? No. We're doing Joan. I am going to come in third. She's in it, Joan? No. We're doing Joan. I was trying to help her,

and it did not work at all. It was the opposite of help. We're doing Joan Cusack movies. She's in eight movies that Joan Cusack is in. The biggest ones. The most known ones. We're going Joan!

Or Ethan fucking Hawk. You're wearing a red headband, advertising alcohol, and you can't name Ethan Hawk movies? That's a fair point. That's a very fair point.

What do you got? Gerald, you're the worst lifeline of all time. He gave her 1408, didn't he? He did, but that's wrong. Neither person did it. I know, but why does he get another one, though? Because Rachel's going to lose. I'm trying to give her one right answer.

You're just postponing the inevitable at this point. That's what a lifeline is for. He's supposed to help her. He's got a complete open table. Any Ethan Hawke movie, any Joe Cusack movie, most John Cusack movies. She's not in 2012. is off the rails it's okay There's definitely no collusion here. Yeah, no, I mean, it's still not... There you go. He's guessing 16 candles.

That's what I'm guessing. 16 candles is correct. We're still in. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Jericho. It's going to get to you soon enough, Mark. All right, Jeff. That was my guess.

Hopefully you got a better lifeline. It goes to Joe. What? Oh, Joe. Sorry, Joe. Oh, sorry. Okay. Well, say anything. Don't say it. Oh. All right, I'll give it to him. Joan Cusack, say anything.

Are you going to let him have that one? I think I got one. Is it me? Beetlejuice? What? Isn't she in Beetlejuice? Joan? Isn't she in Beetlejuice? Joan Cusack's in Beetlejuice. All right, let's go to your lifeline.

Isn't she in Beetlejuice? Have either of you ever seen a movie? What the fuck? Jesus Christ. The one with Janine Garofalo. Is that what you said? I watched John Cusack? Go to your lifeline. Who's your lifeline?

Genevieve. What do you got? Brenda. Jesus Christ. Can you help Mark out? Ethan Hawke, Trainee Day. Ethan Hawke, Trainee Day. Oscar nominated for that one.

Yeah, with the great Denzel. She's not a Beetlejuice. I get Joe Cusack and Winona Ryder confused all the time. Or was it Gina Davis you were confusing her with? Or were you confusing her with a giant snake? Didn't Joe Cusack play Beetlejuice? Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Alright, where are...

What's happening? Oh, it's my turn. I just want to quit. I'll give you another example of Joan and John. Joan and John. I said Joan and John. I didn't say the word Collins. No one has said Joan Collins on this show ever.

That's not true. That is not true. Mark is right about that. He's the top historian of Doug Mullen's movies. But the one I'm going to go with is a movie that has Joan and John in it, and it is called Gross Point Blank. Good one.

Such a good movie. Just put it on and just enjoy yourself. That's my advice. Joe? In and out. Oh, I mean Jeff. Wait, what? Oh yeah, it is your turn. In and out. In and out is my guess.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. She's and out in and out is my guess who's in that? Joan Cusack is in that oh yeah yeah yeah she's the one that her husband is gay and he has to tell her he finds out because of the Oscars lets him know

yeah the guy on the Oscars is like my teacher's gay and the teacher's like what I'm gay yeah Kevin Kline and that was weird that movie

because Tom Selleck's mustache to me always came off as extremely gay and the movie where he plays a gay man he has no mustache That was weird, that movie, because Tom Selleck's mustache, to me, always came off as extremely gay. And the movie where he plays a gay man, he has no mustache. I bet that was in Kevin Kline's contract. They had a make-out scene, and I bet he was like, listen, I'll make out with Tom Selleck, but come on, with the mustache?

I don't need to French kiss the Fuller Brush Man. Old reference. All right, Rachel, you're kiss the Fuller Brush Man. Old reference. All right, Rachel, you're back. Stronger than ever. You probably had a lot of ideas while you've been waiting for your turn. What do you got? Can I still guess John Cusack? Yeah.

Oh. She could guess, but Joan has to also be in it. Oh. She could guess, but Joan has to also be in it. Rachel's like, can I name a John F. Kennedy film? The Zabruder tape. The Zabruder tape, does that count? Joan Cusack is in the Zabruder.

Joan Cusack has the one with the umbrella. Okay. the one with the umbrella. Okay, you're out. But thank you for being here. You were awesome. Okay, here. Thank you. Take the weed out before you give Gerald the Dumbo tape back.

It's a cherished possession that he never puts in a VCR. Right? Do you still watch VCR stuff? You have it set up. Do you have a... What are those big round discs called? A spinning wheel?

Laser discs. You have those? I have laser discs. You don't have to leave. No, you can hang out. No, no, no. I'm staying. Gerald, you really... It's a first on the show.

We shame the person off of the stage. Usually. You really left her hanging, dude. You were a shitty lifeline. If that movie was about you, D-U-M-B would be in all caps. I think it already is. It already is.

But the O would be lowercase, I mean. The O would be. Dumb? Oh. All right. You're done. We don't need you, Lifeline. Okay, so then we're over to Joe.

Ethan Hawke, Sinister. Mark. I'm going to get ridiculed. For what? Goodwill hunting. Is Ethan Hawke in that? What? No?

Fuck Ethan Hawke. I think he would have been good in the Matt Damon role he's one of the he's a kid in the movie yeah yeah no oh boy oh boy oh boy all right it's back to me and I'm going to say High Fidelity. She's in all of his movies. Except for ones that are numbers. Except for 1408 and 2012. She's not in 8 Men Out either.

She's not in any of his movies that have a number in the title. She should be. Right? I mean, that's a good point. It's my turn, right? I'm going to say The Magnificent Seven. Yeah.

All right. Good job. Joe. I'm going to say Joan Cusack, My Blue Heaven. She also starred Steve Martin and Rick Moran. That's a very good point. I like that.

I'm going to go with Hawk. I'm going to do some Hawks. And I'm going to start with... Yes. Any birds of prey come up, go ahead and do that it's weird he wasn't in Ladyhawk I'm gonna go with

Reality Bites yeah okay Dead Poets Society that's what I was thinking of that's what I was thinking of. Yes. That's what I was thinking of. That was it, yes.

You just forgot the part where they stand on their desks. Ethan Hawke. Boyhood. Oh, nice. That's a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good, that's good. When he was really little, little, little,

he was with a couple other little kid actors in a movie called Explorers. God damn you. That was my back pocket one. I was sitting on that one. Who else is in it? River Phoenix? Yeah.

Yeah. The third kid. I think, isn't it the kid from, Wil Wheaton maybe? Something like that. Or Wilford Brimley plays the third kid, right? It was weird casting. Jeff. I'm going to say

Right, it's your turn, right? Yeah, yeah, it's First Reformed. Yes. I hear he's great in that, but I haven't watched it yet because it's one of those heavy religious movies. Yeah, I don't like church. Do you like people whipping themselves? Well, in what context?

In fucking church context? No. For religion? For religious reasons? Flatulating, they call it? Only when it's... No, flagellating. Flagellating. I like that only when it's done

with the express intent of being blasphemous. I'm glad I said that. I worked that whole sentence out of my head. I was like, this will will work but it didn't What's the answer? I said first reform Oh yeah, you joke Joan Cusack, broadcast news

Yes Okay Ethan Hawke, in a valley of violence Oh Fuck Underrated movie Jumpy the dog was on Douglas movies once in a valley of violence no it's uh it's uh it doesn't take place in this that specific of a valley plus I can't win anyway.

There's this bonkers movie called 24 Hours to Live. With Ethan Hawke? Yeah, with Ethan Hawke. It's on Netflix. All you have to do is say something and you agree with it? I could. Oh, I got one then. Big Ball Red. What's that about? Who else is in it? And who directed it?

Pete Barbuti directed it. And Esther Rolle was the star. Holy shit. Esther from Good Times? Look at Esther Rolle. Esther Rolle from Good Times? Anybody? Esther Rolle?

She was on Good Times. Good Times. Jimmy Dynamite. Hey, hey, hey. Oh. Whose turn is it? It's mine, but I'm running low. You got this, man.

Where's my lifeline? John, Nick? Yeah, Toy Story 3. Okay. Joe Cusack, Toy Story 3? I like it. I like it a lot. Shut up.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I like it very much. I like it. Shut up. I'm just kidding. I like it very much. It's my turn. You dick. Toy Story 2. Nope. Nope. Jeff.

More like it. Oh man, this is so dumb. I didn't make it up. That was a real thing. She's in Serendipity. Yes. See? I don't remember her being in itendipity. Yes. See? Well, isn't that serendipitous? Yeah, yeah.

I don't remember her being in it, but okay. He fucking loves you. No, she's a friend of a friend or something. Somebody in the audience would be yelling out right now if she wasn't in it. Joe, come on. You got this. Do you want Jeff's lifeline? Yeah. Okay, Jeff's lifeline? Yeah.

Okay, Jeff's lifeline. What else you got? I didn't even know I could do that, but yeah, sure. Let's do it. Where is he? No, I'm running a little low, but it doesn't matter.

A little low? He doesn't have any. I got nothing. You can do it. You have two? Yeah, go for it. Well, give me both of them if you could. No, just one of them. I'm kidding. Just give him one. You have two? Yeah, go for it. Give him one. Well, give me both of them if you could. No, just one of them.

I'm kidding. Just give him one. Gattaca. Gattaca. Oh, that's right. Gattaca. God, he's been in a lot of movies I've never wanted to see. Son of a bitch.

All right. Oh! I just remembered another one. Okay, quiet. It's my turn. I've got a really hard title to say. Valerian in the City of a Thousand Planets. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you for being here with me today in that very important moment. I mean, that was so impressive. I forgot the one I was holding on to. Uh-oh. Hang on. You've got ten seconds. I got it back. No, no, don't do that.

Do not. Do not. Everybody be cool. Please stop yelling. It's called Daybreakers. Yes! That was my other one! Daybreakers! Daybreakers! Daybreakers!

You fucking cocksucker. Hang on, hang on. That was my other one that I just thought of. Joe, I should have told you I could read minds, and the two he thought of were Gattaca and Daybreakers. Still got another one. Hold on a second. Let me think.

Let's let him think, you guys. He's got to put a set together for a golfing range. I feel like the guy at the computer during the heist right now is just like, shut up, let me think. What's the music like at Topgolf between shows? Do they play the theme from the

Will Smith movie, The Legend of Bagger Vance? It's really cool. Have you heard Getting Baggy With It? As you can imagine, dude, they play the hippest, coolest underground music at Topgolf. Go ahead and putt! Hey, Topgolf, it's all swing music. Folks, listen.

Score, eagle! All right. I thought it would have been club mixes. Give me a second. It's all club music. All right. Hold on. You're making me miss HQ. Okay.

I am going to say Beautiful Girls. Is Joan Cusack in Beautiful Girls? Doesn't she play one of the women in the town that's upset with Michael Rapaport or something like that? I just remembered a bunch, so I'm not going to find it. No?

No, but you did a great job today, Joe. Thanks, buddy. Yeah. Do you have one more, Jeff? Yeah, he was in Before Sunrise and After Sunset. Oh, and After Sunset and Before Midnight and Around Noonish. Yeah, yeah, and Talking Dead. What's your one more?

Nexus. Toys? Toys. Joan Cusack's in Toys. Greatest lifeline ever, but Jeff Tate is our winner. Where's your lifeline at there? Oh, it's him. I forgot.

Let's do some plugs. What do you got to plug, Mark Cohen? I'm here every night, 7 and 9. Every night! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Definitely come see Mark here

at the Comedy Cellar. There's always lots of great acts on the bill. I'm a little less stoned during the shows. He hosts the whole thing and it's always a lot of fun. So come on down. What about you, Mr. Joe DeRosa? I beg all of you to come to Topgolf. We're all going to Topgolf tonight.

Guys. Guys. Listen. Hold on. Hold on. I know it sounds like I'm making a callback. Please. I'm begging you.

Please come and save me. Then two podcasts. We'll see you in hell. Myself and Patrick Walsh on Starburns Audio where we review movies. And Uninformed with Bill Burr and myself. Patreon.com slash burr. Thank you. Yay! Rachel

Wolfson at the Tropicana here all weekend, right? The Laugh Factory. 8.30 and 10.30 hosting. Thank you. Thank you. What else you got coming up? What about the social meds?

Where can people... At Wolfie Comedy, at Wolfie Memes for all your stoner-centric humor. Yeah, it's good stuff. Thank you. Good stuff. Thank you. Thank you, Rachel.

Thank you. Jeff Tate No we don't have time We don't have time for Tate We don't have time for that Hang on well god damn it That's the wrong month No

Oh fuck that's next week April 4th 5th and 6th I'm in Bloomington Indiana At the Comedy Attic Which is actually upstairs It is an attic April 4th, 5th, and 6th, I'm in Bloomington, Indiana at the Comedy Attic, and then... Which is actually upstairs. It is an attic. It is an attic. It is upstairs. It's not like this, where it's a fucking lie.

No, but yours says comedy in the title. Oh. Does it? Oh, it does. It does say Comedy Attic. Yeah, yeah. Comedy not promised. Attic structurally.

Attic is promised. I'll do my best. But I guess my best wasn't good enough. And then May 17th, I'm at the LeZoom Room in Asheville, North Carolina. The what? It's called the LeZoom Room. LeZoom? I mean, maybe I'm... LeZoom.

LeZoom? LeZoom Room. LeZoom. The Legume Room? Yeah, it's all, it's very, it's bean heavy. It's you and a bunch of beans. I got a real bean heavy set. It's, uh, I got a real bean heavy set. I'm like a bean. She does stoner memes.

I do stoner beans. I'm a bean heavy comic. Joe knows. Joe taught me everything I know. I got shows coming up in Royal Oak, Michigan, Boston, Massachusetts, Rosemont, Illinois, Chicago, Lexington KY and more and trying to come back here to Vegas ASAP

let's hear it for Thank You Comedy Cellar and Rio Hotel. And let's hear it for Mark Cohen, Joe DeRosa, Rachel Wolfson, and Jeff Tate. Again, you don't really have to get up and leave. I have one more sentence to say. Sit the fuck down! As always, positive energy!